A Prance of Ponies: Being a History of War of Conquest and Oppression By Master Hoarse Whisper, Recorder of Clouds Reach Castle, House Skye of Clouds Reach

by Stargazer42

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Second Person
Length: 1609

This is the true story of Hearths Warming Eve. The account that isn't taught to anyone, and only reserved for those who are ready and worthy to read...

Deep in the hidden valleys of the Crystal Mountains, high on top of Clouds Peak, is Clouds Reach Castle, ancient home of House Skye. Below it lies Skyhaven, one of the greatest cities in all of Equestria, yet still hidden from prying eyes. A city of light, history, and music. There are many silver mines, one of which is underneath Clouds Reach Castle, making this house one of the wealthiest in all of Equestria. We Skye’s of Clouds Reach are descended from the first unicorns who set foot in this new country, and through the female bloodline, from Clover the Clever. According to legend, Clover the Clever was one of three ponies who met and eventually resolved peacefully resolved what was essentially a long and bloody war between Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns. There are such things as windigos, but friendship alone never solved anything politically. The true history of ancient Equestria is recorded in this book, as our ancestors have always tasked our historians to painstakingly and accurately record everything down possible, so that future generations may learn from the wise and catastrophic decisions of our ancestors. This notion of Hearths Warming Eve is a mere propaganda jot. The truth, is that war makes friends and enemies of us all.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-22 22:06:05 UTC

Let Us Begin

The Prance of Ponies, a poetic name come up by some older Master of this wretched castle and decrepit house. A name suitable for a popular song in modern times, but one which in no end does poetic justice to those who danced to this tune. Wars breed kings, and kings breed wars, such is the nature of history throughout the old eons of our time. Yet there is nothing which will convince you dear reader that war is folly and peace is inexcusable. For it was war which brought about peace, but peace which nearly drove us back to war. Such is the true nature of this never ending pendulum. Allow me to explain.

A thousand years ago, it was said according to legend, that there was a war over who controlled the resources of our ancient homeland. Earth ponies were forced to provide food for the other two kingdoms which either provided consistency in weather, or who threatened to use powerful magic for their own means. This part is partially true. Our house was there, and according to our oldest records, our foolish king, King Bullion thought it would be wise to subject those who did not fit his perfect image of a good pony to enslavement and heavy taxation. We look on King Sombra as a mad pony, yet we do not remember that we ourselves were once servants to another mad king. The Earth ponies, naturally rose up in rebellion against both Pegasi and Unicorns. We, as vassal lords to King Bullion, naturally had to commit both gold and our soldiers to aid in this mindless crusade of homeopathic genocide.

It was a dark chapter in our history, one which nearly left us bankrupt and our bloodline destroyed. It was thanks to Clover the Clever, of whom we claim descent, gained the trust of the other subordinates of the three imbecilic kings and secretly met to discuss terms of peace. It was agreed upon, that there would be a temporary cease fire in order to fine new lands separate themselves. They agreed, in effect, to isolate themselves and leave each other alone. For a time this worked. There is a period, which we aptly recorded as the Four Hundred Years of Peace for this very reason. The main problem with isolation however, is that it always breeds arrogance. Each country thought the other as an impenetrable fortress. This didn’t lead to extended peace, but led to ever more daring exploits of incursion, subterfuge, and war.

That is why I said earlier, that war leads to peace, and peace leads to war. There was sadly only a brief respite before a new one sprung up and old ideas, which were deemed untried and untested were proven right again, that just because you think you can win a war doesn’t mean that you should wage it. However, those who met during Hearths Warming Eve would have rolled in their graves. Their first meeting was significant not because it solved all of our problems in a single night, anyone who’s ever been involved in politics would tell you that solutions move ahead at a snail’s pace. However, it was the beginning of a new dawn, and many years followed afterwards before another meeting under similar circumstances was convened, and these circumstances, were these.

The current Lord Skye is descended from Lord Storm Skye from sixteen generations, in the year 1644 Equestria time, became married to Lieutenant Cloud Pine of the Pegasi, uniting the two countries for the first time through marriage. However, it was because of this marriage that was the cause of this new and terrible war, for you see, Lord Storm Skye had already previously been married, and had a daughter with his first wife, Jonagold. Upon Lord Skye’s death, it was the law that a messenger be sent to Clouds Reach to summon the heir to be crowned king, but Jonagold had other ideas. She killed her servant and locked herself in the royal bedchamber. That midnight, Sir Arrow Light of the Royal Guard summoned the High Council to inform them of the king’s death and to discuss the terms of succession. Clay Silt, who was father to Jonagold and Royal Advisor to the King, demanded that the issue of succession be discussed and determined right there and then during this emergency session of the High Council.

Many of the council members were puzzled, since the laws had set forth that the heir to the throne would be the daughter of Jonagold of the Earth ponies and not the son of Lieutenant Cloud Pine though they had the same father. The rules were set in stone. However, Sir Arrow Light rightfully pointed out that a son always proceeded a daughter in terms of the right to succession, and a daughter therefore, would only ascend to the throne if there were no male heirs. The debate was settled when, after arguing for several hours and coming to no decision, Sir Arrow Light had the entire council murdered with the assistance of the members of the Royal Guard, ending this tiresome debate.

When the son, Lord Bright Skye of Clouds Reach, ascended to the Equestrian throne, the green and silver stag fluttered over the ancient capital of Bright Water. When news of this reached Jonagold, she was furious and sent messengers to all the vassal lords who had not yet bent the knee to Bright Skye. They were few in number, but among them, were Lord Wind Wake, considered many to be the most powerful pony in Equestria, her uncle, Lord Black Hoof, who commanded the best cavalry in Equestria, and her twelve sons, the oldest having just reached stallionhood. Not an impressive assemblage. But she did have one thing which no other house possessed, artillery.

It was a powerful weapon capable of bringing down the walls of any fortified city in Equestria. Infused and fired by a magic no other country had…gunpowder. The Unicorns had their own version of this cannon as did the Pegasi, but Jonagold and her Earth ponies had the most, twenty one. Cannons can wipe out armies, and can batter down city walls, but it takes armies to take and hold them. With this in mind Jonagold sent messengers to those remaining lords who had not sworn fealty to Lord Bright Skye. She sent her eldest son to Canterlot, she sent her second eldest to the Crystal Empire. Imagine her son’s surprise when he arrived to Canterlot and saw that his cousin, Lord Storm Wind there. He was eight years his senior and already terrifying, before he lost his left leg in a battle and replaced it with a metallic contraption of his own design. Yet the Lord of Canterlot allowed the princeling to speak his case, but the end was inevitable.

“Leave,” the Lord of Canterlot barked “and tell your whore mother that the Lord of Canterlot is not her servant who she can call on her whim and fancy.”

Dejected, the eldest son was about to leave the castle and had even entered the final gate, when both ends were shut, and the holes in the ceiling opened, filling the room with boiling hot sand. Some say that there is a hidden treasure vault where the petrified glass body of the prince still exists on display, under a different name, and certainly by a different artist.

Her son’s death wracked Jonagold with grief. Mad with rage, she sent two assassins to Lieutenant Cloud Pine’s castle in Clouds Reach. Their names are only recorded as Gleam and Shimmer. Lieutenant Cloud Pine had only a son and daughter apart from Lord Bright Skye. Gleam and Shimmer took them hostage and executed the colt before raping the stallion and killing her. They forced her mother to watch. Gleam said “Now, if she does sire a bastard, maybe he will one day be king.”

When the guards burst through the door, they killed both Gleam and Shimmer, but the damage had already been done, what had begun as a simple dispute had now escalated into a war of attrition and annihilation. Either Bright Skye or Jonagold would live in the end, but both could not.

Bad news had come to Bright Water later that week. The trade city of Baltimare had surrendered without a fight, the moment the lords of the city had seen the Earth ponies wheel up their guns. Now they had control of the richest city in Equestria. They could finance the war for longer than the Loyalists. The first battle took place in the south in Dodge City, a Loyalist strong hold. When the lord saw the Separatist Army, he sent messenger’s to Bright Water, asking for help and assistance. He hid behind his walls, for days the Separatists burned his fields and battered his walls. Then, behind them, over the ridge, facing an army of six thousand, the Loyalist banners had called an army of eighteen thousand.

The commander of the Separatists, Commander Black Flint, ordered his cannons be turned around and face this new threat. The Unicorns and Pegasi Army descended on them like dragons. It wasn’t much of a battle, but a slaughter on both sides. The cannons of Commander Flint’s army tore holes through the ranks of the Loyalists, but the moment those guns pointed opposite of the city walls, the gates opened and the Earth pony army was attacked from behind. Soon, eight of the eighteen guns were captured, Black Flint had his head mounted on a pike, and the rest of the army was executed for treason against the king.