sunset shimmer the homeless alcoholic veteran on christmas eve

by Raw Cringe

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Random
Length: 986

this is my what - if? story if sunset shimmer was a homeless booze hound with PTSD

WHAT IF Sunset shimmer was a drunk military bum???

it is a really funny story riding the limit of laughter. heartwarming christmas story

TROLLS WILL BE BLOCKED, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT READ IT!!!!!!!~

Published 2016-12-24 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-24 03:50:01 UTC

liquid energy

Sunset shimmer walkd through the park one day. it was a nice day birds singsing and a little light wind in her hair... it was a beutfiul day and it make her think "I want to drink some booze!!

she go to the coner stor and there is a fat man behind the counter. he sweats a little and it stincks. Sunsey says "need some booze" then he ask for ID.

"I aint' got no ID cause I'm a homeless veteran!!" syay Sunsety. it is because she is a veteran that she only has one arm. "I lost my arm bt that dirty Russian lost his nuts" she said with a smirck...

Fatman gave her some Jack Daniels so then she drenk it all up and went to school.

At shcool Sunsey learn to read 'n wright godd. She learned to writ her phone number incase she ever getts lost.

She comes into home room and Mr. Discord is the home room reacher. He reached them about abc's and 123's and then they practicsed learning cursive.

"I can't fucking write crusive" says Snuset "I have only one fucking arm"

'You shuld have thouht of that before you got your arm blown of," says Mr. Discord. "Now write curseve words or you fail"

sunjset pull out her trusty AK 47. it is her special AK 47 because she ihnertd it when she kilt her russian daddy

3 YEARS AGO

"Daddy! Why are you russian???" Sunset screamed int o the cold arctic wind.

"Because I am Russian spy' her daddy say

"NOOOOOOO" she swhisper. Thrn she puncher her daddy and kill him and took his AR15

PRESENT DAY

sunset shimmty had a flashbacg and it started her PTSD.

Rarity sees it siting next to her, she says "sweetie remmeber your happy place darling" Rainbow Dash also sitting says "yeh if you feel bad jst brush your toeth then u will feel good"

"I cant brush tooth" say shimmer as the sweat poureth forth off her brow. "I HAVE ONLY ONE ARM"

"OK you little wiseacre," says Dr. Discrod, "Take your lil' jokester patootie out of here cause you FAIL!"

"You can't" says Sunset "if I fail school I will be homeless..." A single ear drop from her eye.

3 WEEKS LATER

after summer got kicked out from schhool she takes to a life of crime and homeless ness and makes a lot of black friends

her friend black rarity says to her one day "hey muhfuggin lil mama yo tricked out thug ass need to get a twerk on, bitch. Spike be lookin' for yo bitch nigga ass. He want his cut a da skrilla."

sunset say "He can have it if he will some and take it!" she cocked her glock. "I gotta feed my kids"

black rainbow dash showed up too, she said "word up yo, hang ten bruv"

sunset's little girl climbs out of the trashcan "momma i'm hunggy"

"I know baby" say sunset. she pulled out a bottle of Jim beam "here you go sweetie"

little sunset jr. drank up all the jim beam and then she burped and whent back too sleep.

"Darling, they are so adorable when they are little" said black Rairty. "What a cute lil tricked out dirty ass thug!"

little did they know Principle Celestria was spying on them...

1 DAY LATER

"Sister, we have a problem," said Celestia in her heated office. The smell of cinnamon and pumpkin spice candles permeated. A glistening Christmas tree garbed in Wondercolts orange and blue overlooked the wall-height window that stared out into the school's parking lot.

Vice-Principal Luna looked up from her disciplinary notes. "Is this about that girl?"

"Yes," said Celestia, grimly. "It's clear that she has somehow harnessed Equestrian magic. If nothing is done, she may soon become powerful enough to destroy the world."

"Then what do you propose we do?" asked the vice-principal.

"I think... I think we must set a trap for her," said Celestia. "Tell me what you think of this..."

The flames of the scented candles flickered on long into the night.

2 WEEKS LATER

it was the night of the chriskmas eve dance at gnaterolt high. teenieboopers arriving in dates with limosuines wearing formel clotes.

in the gynmasonium it was dim lights and a punch booth and slow jam music filled the scene: a torrent op children leaning to be adults. OVerhead was a full chanderliar of candles and real metals, very classy

Outside int he cold was Sunshet Slimmer.

"Her is the plan" she say to black Rarity. "I will go in the dance in this kitsune mask so no one will renogcize me and I wil be the most charming girl there and become Queen of the Dqnce. then thy will have to let me beck into school so I will not be hmoless any more!!"

"Dat's one tight-ass muh fuggin plan bitch" said black Raidy. "Good ass luck, bitch"

Sunsleet take a swing of her bottle of KENTUCKY GENLTEMAN for good love and energy and put on the cat mask,

She went into tje dance and saw Flash Sentry her fellow vetran in the wrar with russia there dancing with regular(white) Rarity. she went up to them "May I cut in ?

flash sentry lookd at her he said "whoa get out your life it in danger" but it was took late

Celestra yells "ACTIVATE IT" and all kids run except sunset. the chndelier falls down and squishes her like a bug,

as her last words she say "how did you know it was meeeee" "ugh" "gack" "uuuuoorgh"

"I knew it was you because..." Princpikl Clestula look over her corps with a dirty smirck.

"You only have one arm!"

Author's Note

heartwarming tale opf chrixmas cheer inspired by my genius + mentor Windlife i bit all my lines from him