Drunken Complaints

by ShadowblazeCR

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Trixie, Comedy
Length: 1143

Starlight and Trixie get drunk on Hearth's Warming Eve and complain about their problem with towns and the unwillingness they have to be taken over, among other unrelated things.

Starlight and Trixie get drunk on Hearth's Warming Eve and complain about their problem with towns and the unwillingness they have to be taken over, among other unrelated things.

Published 2017-12-30 21:50:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-30 21:50:11 UTC

Towns Are For Taking Over, Not Living In

Starlight Glimmer was alone for Hearth’s Warming Eve, the coming day to, but more importantly she was in a tavern alone. Or less importantly, she was lonely. She hadn't been invited to anything by the other Elements, she hadn't dared go back to her town in fear of causing another scene, and so on. For her, it wasn't about ‘the warmth of family and friends’ it was getting so drunk that she was probably going to mistake a foal for a trash can.

Starlight ordered another drink, set on literally and figuratively (and whatever other ‘ly’ she could come up with) drinking her woes away. The absence of any invitation by nopony whatsoever was not the best motivation for her changing her ways. Why have the townspeople comply when you can simply take them over and not have to hear their petty complaints? When she had taken over her first town the complaint box was a box with a slit in it over a trash can, but no, taking over towns is bad PR and is generally not welcomed by most.

It wasn't like their lives would be miserable, back when she had her own town they were able to be equal. Sure, they really lost all the will to live, but hey, they did it equally. Another drink, another pathway into bliss and ecstasy. Her vision by now was definitely hindered by the drinks, obviously, but that didn't stop her from seeing a light blue piece of flank.

“Hey! Hey blueberry!” Starlight waved over at the blue mare, their mane was like flowing whip cream attached to a pony that couldn't eat it. Though that really depended on how much they wanted it.

The mare looked over at Starlight, double taking once she caught her eye. “S-Starlight?”

“Howss it goin’ hot stuff? You come here often?” Starlight could barely get the words out of her mouth, just how she liked it. She had always had to keep a filter up around everypony, but Hearth’s Warming was one of the few times she could just let go.

“Trixie must say that she sadly does come to these establishments often, more frequently during the holidays too.” She said while sitting down across from Starlight, already invited by a quick flick of Starlight’s foreleg.

Starlight kept her eye on Trixie’s shining coat and mane, still admiring but now up close, “Ya know, Pixie-”

“Trixie.”

“Sure, you've gotta remember that we ex-villains gotta stick together.” Starlight sipped her drink. “They say they care, but really they're just jealous we know how to conquer villages and they don't.”

Trixie looked down, “Trixie must confess to the pretty face of yours. Trixie did not take over Ponyville in her valiant attempts.”

Starlight reached over to comfort Trixie, “It’s okay bub, it’s the thought that counts.”

The two continued talking about their evil guilty pleasures and many other nefarious plans that would never happen, because they knew that while they weren’t allowed to execute them, they still had each other. As Trixie became increasingly drunk, her real motives of searching for Starlight to ask a certain question became clear. Their meeting hadn’t been a coincidence, but with the smarts that Starlight had gathered that Trixie had, it wasn’t too much of a surprise.

Starlight leaned forward, smelling the mix of alcohol breath they had made from the plethora of drinks, “Now Blueberry the Great, te-” She turned her head and belched, “-ll me what you wanted me for.”

“Evil-wise, o-or personal-wise, if that’s a thing?”

Starlight shrugged, too drunk to care. “Both, I probably won’t remember them anyway. I’ll just have to remember where I live, or where you do.” She replied with a wink.

“Well Trixie supposes that she can relate the two for your convenience.” She took a swig of her drink, “Trixie had been thinking about her evil ways and thought about you, since Trixie had never actually taken over a town before she thought it would be a splendid idea to hear from somepony with experience.”

Starlight downed the last of her drink, “You see Butt o’ Blue, it’s all about the ponies in the village. When they just live there, it's a village. When you conquer it, it becomes a town. Or in other ways, like getting them to practically worship you.That town is on the map because of me, not because Miss Princess of Fiend-ship got me.”

Trixie nodded, but hit her head on the table doing so, “Trixie sees, she only went after this town for revenge. Trixie would like to move on to the other reason, the more interesting one.”

“It's not like I've got anything better to do Trixie, go ahead.”

“Well, speaking of conquering things, Trixie was planning on doing so to you.” Trixie leaned over, smiling seductively.

Starlight didn't move backwards, only replying, “Well Miss Trixie, I think you need to buy me some dinner first.”

“Is covering this tab not enough, Trixie would like to take you somewhere special to eat out.” Trixie tried to wink, but just blinked.

Starlight leaned closer, “Well I sure would like to get to know you better. Maybe we could steal candy from a foal later? Or flick sand on ponies’ ice creams after our meal, hmm?”

Trixie’s eyes brightened, “Trixie would be delighted to accompany you on those great outings!”

The two had leaned even closer, their noses touching each other. Comprehension of what was happening was fading for the both of them, but somehow they still flirted. It was a matter of time before they went too far and got kicked out.

Starlight grinned, “I'd like to start off getting to know you better however.”

“Well, Trixie likes long walks on the beach, double dipping, and-”

Starlight cut Trixie off with a kiss, deepening it when Trixie pushed forward. Once Starlight needed a breather, she pulled back, “So, about this place you wanted to go to eat out?”

“Y-Yes, let's make our way there shall we?” Trixie enquired.

“But of course.”

Both of them shifted out of their seats, only to promptly fall on the ground. Eventually Trixie gained enough strength to carry Starlight with her magic back to Trixie’s house. The two decided to save their intimacy for a later day as they had fallen asleep on top of each other in Trixie’s living room.

Author's Note

Wow, so I finally got this little thing finished after like a year. I meant to put it out for Christmas last year, but obviously didn't. So, I picked it up to finish it because I needed something to get me out of my hiatus. This isn't something to take too seriously anyhow, it's just a little break for me from all my OctaScratch writing. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this!