TS&F: S1, Ep3: Til the Flutterguy Sings

Left. Right. Front. Back. Inside, and out. Backward. Forward. Rim. Center. Her constant vigilance, and thorough scan while on patrol enabled her to analyze every room, chamber, hall, door, balcony, and roof branch with both speed and efficiency. She would always be on the lookout for any change in the environment, or sudden shift in movements, as she observed the palace with narrowly focused, maroon orbs. The Pegasus' naturally acute awareness of her surroundings enabled her to memorize each, and every sector of the Tree Castle, to the smallest detail. Fortunately for her, the web-head managed to help Spike scrub and clean every inch of the place spotless, which kept everything well placed, and simpler to assess. She would even be aware of the newest, crumbled tissue or dropped needle, if it ever occurred.

Deciding to take a ten-minute reprieve after her morning shift, Rainbow Dash casually, yet still with diligence, hovered into the foyer, where Pinkie Pie and Starlight Glimmer were sitting, and having their lunches.

"Sheesh," she grunted, "No wonder Twilight was not so psyched about moving in here, at first. Everything here's just so…so…big. Like you can put a maze in here, or get freaked out about way too much space."

"I think it's already a maze, in and of itself," commented the Unicorn, with brief contemplation, "And I believe Spider Bite already mentioned having agoraphobia from being in here also."

"Which is kind of ironic, you know, if you think about it, because he's got all this space to climb and swing around in. But I guess, too, you know, if you think about it, being inside an enclosed space for such a long, long, long time can make anypony climb up the walls, no matter how much space is inside."

"Speaking of inside spaces," the sky blue Pegasus spoke after the rosy Earth Pony, "Weren't you girls supposed to keep an eye on the place, too?"

"Actually, Twilight and I found a little something to contribute to that," Starlight answered after completing a bite from her meal. She then ignited the light blue aura of her horn, which sent out a gentle sound wave with a soft pong, extending its border throughout the entire palace, prompting a look of awe from Pinkie. "Ooooh!"

"It's that sonar spell that I previously used against the Changelings," she continued, "But instead of a massive blast of energy, it gently reaches out to a broad range of the environment the spell's caster is in, alerting me to whatever presence that may seem unwarranted."

"Yeah," huffed Rainbow, crossing her forelegs with annoyance, "Just wish I had known about that, you know, sooner."

"I'm actually getting something, now," she heard the light purple Unicorn sharply state, "It's coming from outside. And it's nearing the doorway."

"Well, what is it? Because I would really, really like to know what something is. If it's too dangerous, or scary, or bad, or evil, or scary. Oops, I said that last one already. Silly me."

"From what I can tell," Starlight answered the ecstatically pink pony, with an even demeanor, "It's tied up in something, and being dragged here by another figure."

"You think maybe somepony managed to somehow find Chrysalis, and captured her," Rainbow Dash pondered, somewhat gawking at the monumentally miniscule possibility.

"No, its shape and size is nothing like Chrysalis. Or a Changeling, for that matter."

"Then, what could-" The Pegasus received her answer in the form of an opened door, done so in a field of deep scarlet, as the newcomer trudged along, more out of unease and discomfort than weary. With his scarlet hood up, and deep, blue shades on, he dragged the load of his web-net, which then came to view. Behind that, hovered Fluttershy, her "Stare" firmly locked onto the source of the burden within.

"No. Way." Dash's pupils narrowed in utter shock and amazement, recognizing the ensnared beast that entered. Just then, she noticed a cyan Unicorn entering into the castle beside the yellow mare, viewing the interior with an awestruck, yet also cautious demeanor. "Lyra!"

"Hey, Pinkie," the mare responded, with a friendly wave, "Thought it'd be nice to drop by to visit you, for once." She then received a crushing embrace from the pink pony, who zipped over to her in a blur. "Are you kidding me? It's not nice. It's super-duper, fantastically amazing!"

"What happened," asked the light violet Unicorn to the newly arrived trio, "How did you even manage to capture this thing?"

"Yeah," said the raspy voice of a bewildered Rainbow Dash, "How could the three of you take on something that all six of us girls only weakened, you know, for Bon Bon to finish?"

"For now," quickly answered Spidey, "don't ask. And apparently, whatever Lyra's friend did to it the last time, didn't work so well then, and also not now."

"I tried using the stuff she left for me, before going off on vacation," joined Lyra Heartstrings, "She said it would work on almost any serious problem, but just only to use it when it's really necessary. After seeing the bugbear coming back, and knowing that Bon Bo- Sweetie Drops, and Twilight were gone, I figured now was the best time. If only it worked."

"Thanks for trying, though," spoke the wall-crawler, who finally released his grip on the line from over his withers, "But your aim could use a little work."

"I was only told to throw the dry leaves in the closest vicinity of the danger," she simply shrugged, aware of his sincerity, "Sorry I got it in you ponies' faces, in the process."

"Anyway, it was a good effort," continued the beige Unicorn with a sigh, who seemed to be more wary of his manner of speech, since he arrived.

"What dry lea-" Suddenly, they all heard an irritating repetition of pounds and bumps from the outside walls, interrupting Starlight's question. Looking out through the open door, the occupants saw the scaly figure of their disorderly friend, laying flatly at the very step of the entrance. "Oh, how humiliating this is! To think that this would happen to me! Of all ponies!"

"Just think the opposite of what you're trying to do," shouted back Spider Bite, with a roll of his eyes. At this, Discord drooped his head down onto the ground, laying woefully with discomfort, then appeared inside with a bling, as he floated above the group with renewed vigor, but then another sour face, "Ah, yes! Much better. Though it is still quite the nuisance to adjust to."

"And so complains the reformed Master of Chaos," evenly announced the web-head, "Seriously, I would've fot a gah wa'uk yoo wud-ov welupht in wevuhth contwohlf."

This prompted a clearing of his throat and pursing of his muzzle, the furrowing of the three inhabiting ponies' brows, a snigger from Lyra and Discord, and a deep exhalation from Fluttershy.

"What," sharply asked Rainbow, Pinkie and Starlight, tilting their heads at once. Their response forced a moan, and another eye roll from the web-slinger, as he turned to the yellow mare behind him, "Ugh, aph if I diduhn have enuhf taypht ov a nohmow wahf awoun hee-uh."

"What?"

"Fluttershy," he spoke, while striving to maintain a certain level of composure, "Would you please explain to them what happened? Because I don't think I can manage."

"Me neither," chuckled the cyan Unicorn, raising a hoof to her muzzle.

"I'm with you, both," spoke the draconian multi-bred in kind, who then vanished out of sight. Then, they all heard a shout from an unseen sector of the palace, saying, "Oh, bother! I meant I am not with either of you!"

As a result, Discord found himself returning to the company of the present ponies. In response, the timid, soft-spoken Pegasus removed her firm "Stare" from the captured, hornet-like bear, which decided to rest for now, and looked up at the rosy Earth Pony and colorful Pegasus with a groan of her own. What they heard from her, to the light purple Unicorn's utter shock, and the other two ponies' amusement, was not Fluttershy's gentle, light voice. Instead, in its place, was a low, strong, masculine tone, that said, "Okay. I'll start from the beginning."

Rrrrrrrrr. The towering beast bellowed in fury, directly onto their stunned faces, once again. Just as it stared wildly upon its prey with reddened eyes, it ceased in mid-growl, at the sight that it received in return. The firm, constant retaliation of those teal orbs were piercing enough to send forth a vast multitude of daggers. It forced the creature to veer back, causing it to shift its great mass off of the animals it ensnared. At first, there was a snarling attempt to regain its declining advantage, however the words spoken by the source of those authoritative eyes, made it cringe all the more.

"How dare you." The sweet, gentility was strengthened with integrity and determination, a slight tinge of anger emanating with a soft growl of its own. "Is this how you treat other creatures that you meet? Is this how you behave yourself, wherever you go?" The bugbear had completely removed itself from its position atop the three friends, allowing Fluttershy to hover directly towards the animal's cowering face, and Discord and Spider Bite to rise and view the spectacle with silent admiration. The creature, itself, began to back away, as the Pegasus sternly progressed towards it. "How do you expect any of us to treat you nicely, if all you do is scare and terrify whomever and whatever you encounter? As far as I'm concerned, you don't get any respect for being a frightful, horrifying monster, because it only shows how much you prefer to be on top of everypony, all by yourself. And since you don't seem to be ashamed of that," she then spoke with a low, fortuitously heavy tone, "then you should know how that sort of attitude gets you nowhere, because you'll have to deal with every creature you bully, completely on your own."

Once she had finished her statement, Fluttershy covered her muzzle with sharp realization of what had transpired. The beast, itself, had curled most quaveringly onto the ground, allowing for the beige stallion to cast batches upon batches of adhesive onto it, forming a massive shell of webs that engulfed the bearbug entirely.

"Wow. Got to hand it to you, Fluttershy," Spidey spoke with great surprise, as he finally lifted his hood and wore his darkened lenses, before the cyan Unicorn could get a good look at his face, "Never thought I'd hee-uh a Toomthtohn impuhthanayphun from anee-ponee, buh yoo did ut in thpaydth."

"Wh-what did you just say?" She was startled by the incomprehensible remark, so much so, she momentarily lost focus of her own, bass predicament. The yellow mare noticed the arachnid stallion clear his throat, before he continued, "Sorry. Something in my throat. Must've been those dry leaves. Puhthunollee, Aw pwefuh-"

She eyed him with worry, knowing that whatever caused her familiar change in voice, had an effect on her new friend also. But she knew something like this was far too soon, especially since neither came to contact with the plant at all. He seemed to move his lips and tongue with cautious precision, as he enunciated, "Aw pweh-fuh. Ahem! Thumpheen maw-uh. Ha-ha-hem! Hyah-hem! Wiph a…kehk? Really!?"

Fluttershy observed, in her peripheral, Lyra Heartstrings joining her side, as the two mares turned their focus onto the draconian multi-bred, with both confusion and concern.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho, my! Both of you…stop this instant! I'm...I'm afraid I can't-" They witnessed him laughing hysterically at one moment, then soaking himself in his own tears, inside some invisible tank, entirely submerged during the next. Seeing the shock from his countenance, due to his sudden awareness of the situation, indicated that it was not his intended jest. Raising his talon, with a snap of his claws, he drew all the water into his mouth, causing his cheeks to expand erratically further than any would expect. Discord spat out the sweet fluid out of his flustered face without hesitation, engulfing the three ponies into a massive puddle before him. Spitting, coughing and gagging, they heard him mutter, "What in the…blazes…was that about? I never would have…made myself…drown in my own…tears of laughter like that. Nor have it swallowed whole…in such a tasteless fashion. Where is my agent, when I need him? I tell you, those comedic writers will get a piece of my mind, for this. And when I am through, I will show them to make a mockery of me!"

He tightened his paw and talon into balls of fists, which then became spheres in themselves, their exceedingly dense mass forcing him to drop from his suspended position with a thud. "Oof! Curses."

"Twutht mee, pahl," started the wall-crawler, as the drenched trio shook themselves dry, "Thaph naw weelee hahd tuh doo. Ah! Can anyone please explain to me what's going on, here?!"

"I second that motion," scowled the disorderly goat-dragon, raising a spherical limb, who noticed himself appearing by his side, mirroring his movements and speech. "I second that motion."

"That's not what I meant!" "That's not what I meant!"

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy deeply muttered, her ears lowered with unease.

Well, that's just great, Parker. You never thought you'd say "I wish I burnt my tongue again, instead." At least, not under these circumstances. And back then, it was only for a short while, and it didn't seem to come up at random. Sort of. Peter watched as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were desperately gasping for air, sprawled onto the floor, from their uncontrollably merry mirth. The cyan mare only viewed the hilarious spectacle of the two mares with a smirk, striving to remain soberly aware of the situation, once Fluttershy completed her tale. Discord sat most callously on a sofa, not attempting any further use of his abilities or speech for the moment, while the beige Unicorn simply crossed his forelegs in a stoic manner, his shades and hood still worn. He strove to maintain his silence, despite his urge to mock the two laughing ponies on the floor. Fluttershy, herself was merely sitting on the cushion adjacent to the web-slinger, holding a cup and saucer provided by Starlight, who was examining the substance from Lyra's sack under a microscope, both possessing a mild grin of their own. The yellow Pegasus then seemed unable to resist a chuckle also, being that she was more than aware of, in fact, reminiscing with the rosy Earth Pony and colorful Pegasus together, about the occurrence. And at least one of us doesn't think this is so bad.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoh, man," exhaled Rainbow, as she wiped another tear from her eye, "Guess Discord got a…good taste of his…own medicine. Pffffft. And it looks like…Spider Bite, here…bit off…more than…he could…chew. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! S-s-seriously, where's Spike with the nicknames, when you need him?"

Pinkie was faring no better in recovery than her friend was, screaming in untamable hilarity alongside her. Fighting for breath, she made an alarmingly loud wheeze and pant, then closed her muzzle, keeping a massive bubble of air from escaping. Lips quivering, however, the blue eyes of the pink mare grossly enlarged, with more water pouring out, as she set off the most uproarious Snort! imaginable. "HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hyack-hyack-hyack! I know! Twilight, Applejack…Rarity and Spike not being here…is the only thing…that I'm sad about!"

"I shall have you ponies know," Discord sharply spoke, turning his venomous glare unto them as well, "that this is only temporary. I'll be sure to make you rue ever succumbing to such rude behavior on behalf of our grievous misfortunes, as soon as Zecora returns." The moment he said the word rue, another ruse sharply appeared over his head, consisting of a wide, faceless mouth, laughing with wild hysteria above him, which he swatted away with great irritancy.

"Yeah, like…another three days," scoffed the colorful mare, "Trust me, pal. We'll definitely get…our laughs' worth…by then."

"And then some!" As the mocking duo continued with their breathless merriment, the disorderly goat-dragon gave a menacing stare in response, prompting flames to erupt from his eyes, and catching onto his cringed brows, in the process. "Oh-hoo-hoo-hooo! Curses, again!"

"Okay, is there any chance that we can get back to the issue we're dealing with here? Anytime, soon would be preferable." The firmly agitated statement from the stallion did very little to settle Rainbow and Pinkie's nerves.

"Now he's being serious?! Web-mouthed is right!" However, Starlight seemed to have completed her analysis shortly after, for she evenly, though stifling a snort, came and approached the ponies at lounge. She placed the small slide containing dry leaf particles on the table between them, in a floating, light blue glow. "From what I can tell, after doing some research with Twilight on this particular section in her seminar, these leaves didn't originate from poison joke."

"I suppose that kind of explains why it had no effect on the bugbear," the bass reply of Fluttershy was heard, forcing another chuckle from her Earth Pony and Pegasus friends.

"It's a start, at least," continued Spidey, "Just where does the humorous plant fit into all of this, exactly?"

"Let me see," the light violet Unicorn said, examining both him, and the yellow mare more closely. She then inspected places on the ponies' faces where the dehydrated plant fragments had landed, some still on their coats. Igniting her horn, she lifted a few particular specimens from them both, and placed them onto another piece of rectangular glass, returning for a second session at the microscope. She placed a front hoof under her chin, humming most contemplatively, as she diligently stared onto her latest sample.

"Spider Bite, take a look at this." He left his seat from the cushion, and went towards her position with mild curiosity of his own. As Starlight stepped aside for the beige Unicorn to closely examine also, he placed his brown orbs, after slightly raising his blue lenses, directly through the magnified pair before him. "You see the brown and green, parched leaf fragments, right?"

"Yeah, I do," he answered evenly, then added, "Along with something else. Doesn't look as dry as the rest. Looks to be even brighter in color, too. Maybe blue?"

"Fluttershy mentioned the bugbear roared directly at you three once it tackled you."

"Yep. I tawl ut tah bwuph uth teeph, had suph bah bwehth. Nngyah! I mean, yeah, it did."

"I think it wasn't just its breath that you took," offered the light purple mare, "Like you suggested indirectly, its teeth had crumbs of food that it ate between them, left there for who knows how long, if not recently. My hypothesis is that the creature consumed some poison joke, having developed some kind of immunity to it, then attacked."

"Preventing whatever was in the bag from Lyra's friend of releasing its full effect onto it. Somehow cancelling it out, altogether. Wait, I think I'm seeing something happening, now. Look." He moved away from the instrument in question, lowering his shades, and allowing Starlight to return to her previous station. Once she viewed upon the magnified substances again, she saw what the arachnid pony was referring to.

"The crumbs…they seem to be…absorbing some kind of energy from the dry leaves. And they're vibrating more erratically by the second."

"Maybe the joke not only boosted the hornet panda's immune system from those other leaves, but the dried plant pieces also amplified the effects of the joke on whatever else came to contact with it."

"So, no matter how old the poison joke crumbs were," concluded Starlight, "Their effects became rejuvenated by whatever's in the sack."

"But why work on us three, only," asked the masculine voice of Fluttershy, "and not the bugbear, when the two mixed together like that? Some of it must've flown onto it, from the air between us."

"According to Lyra's friend, the creature's been to Tartarus and back," the Unicorn mare suggested, "Since that place lacks any stable magic down there, that could be a possible explanation for its immunity to the joke in the first place. I mean, it ate from the plant, itself, after all. Having crumbs of the blue leaf in its teeth, and everything."

"Do you know if Agent Sweetie Drops left anymore of those leaves for you to use," asked Pete, turning to face the cyan Unicorn, "These aren't any good, now. So we're going to need to figure out if there's more where they came from."

"I'll go back to our house, and take a look around in her stuff. I'm sure she'd understand, roomie and all. You know, crisis, and everything." Lyra Heartstrings sprinted into a full gallop out of the room, and the castle, with great haste.

"Oh! And be sure to tell Rarity and Applejack to come here, right away," Starlight shouted back.

"On it!"

"And while she's doing that," Spidey continued, "do any of you know the proper treatment for this kind of exposure? You know, since you've all been affected by the joke, before?"

"Yeah, sure," Rainbow shrugged, able to contain herself to a mere smirk this time, "But Zecora's got the recipe in that book that she and Twilight have, and both are using them. To share a bunch of notes to each other during the presentation, or something."

"But there's the town spa," quickly countered Pinkie, "They got the recipe from her, afterwards. So, they should still have that, and the ingredients to make it. It's a very, very, very popular spa session, around here!"

"Aw cahn onwee uhmaj- Ugh!" Spider Bite quickly shook his head in self-admonishment. Clear head, Pete. Focus. Just like everything I've gone through with the Princesses and Starlight. Sounds like a fairy tale title-Focus!

He ignored the renewed chuckles from the two mares, and asked Fluttershy, "Isn't there anywhere else we can find the treatment?"

"Sorry," she lowly rumbled, possessing a small smile herself, "But I'm afraid the spa's the only other place to turn to." Great. That's just great. The last place I ever wanted to be in, right now, is somewhere feeling exposed.

"Problem with that, tough guy," asked Rainbow Dash, with a snide grin.

"Nuh, nothing personal," he shrugged with a sigh, "Just something we'll have to worry about later, is all. Right now, we don't have time for it. So, basically our means of curing Fluttershy, Discord and myself are left to one final resort, while the main source is off with those who left us to literally hold down the fort, while they're gone. All we can do, for now, is one: find out what Sweetie Drops used, and somehow amplify its potency (we've just got started on that). And two: keep the panda wasp from escaping. But I guess we could already put a checkmark, on tha-" Crash! Boom! Clang!

Me, and my big, fat mouth. Even when I don't make quips. "Don't tell me that was the bugbear, making its escape."

"The bugbear's escaping," screamed Pinkie.

"Aw apht yoo not tuh- Ah! Nevermind!" He quickly leapt towards the doorway that led to the foyer, and the main entrance, casting a quick line to swing hastily outward. "You ladies coming, or what?!"

"Woopsie," stated Fluttershy, in bass realization, "Okay." As she hovered past the other three mares, she turned to ask Rainbow, Pinkie and Starlight, "Um, don't you want to help, too?"

"And enjoy the show," stifled the colorful Pegasus, "More than anything!"

"But we just have other duties to worry about," added the rosy Earth Pony in kind, "You know, like the whole keeping an eye on the castle, to make sure nothing sneaky or suspicious happens, while Twilight's gone, and everything. Sorry we're party crashers, right now. And, believe me, this is one party that I didn't want to crash!"

"I'm sorry Fluttershy," the light purple Unicorn offered, "But we were instructed by Twilight not to leave the premises, under any circumstances. We'll be sure to inform Rarity and Applejack of the situation as soon as they get here, and during that time, find out more about the dried plant from Twilight's library. Plus, you've still got Discord to help you out."

"I beg your pardon, but you say that as if you assumed that I would," the draconian multi-bred said in mock exasperation, "What makes you think that I would ever desire a second encounter with that beast, after the humiliation it has caused me?"

"I guess it's because I thought you wouldn't want to stick around, you know, with these two laughing ponies, instead," Starlight humorously countered, eyeing the grinning Pinkie and Rainbow Dash with a smile, "But, I guess I was wrong."

"Oh, fine. Have it your way!" At this, as Fluttershy flew out of the room to follow the leaping wall-crawler, Discord popped into another area inside, one that was further away from the yellow mare. "Oh, dear. Hold on, Fluttershy, I'm coming!"

He then blinged into another chamber, at the opposite side of the palace. Realizing where he was, he grunted with a slouch of his shoulders. "Oh, balderdash. I mean, don't wait up, Fluttershy. I am not going anywhere, at all." Poof!

Peter swung determinately atop of the doorpost, shortly after he opened the main doors with his horn, and landed on all fours against the outer wall. Lowly bent, he turned his head this way, and that, scanning his surroundings, particularly any sightings from the air. He climbed up towards the front balcony above him, then flipped his frame onto its railing, so as to receive a better view of the environment. All he could perceive, however, was the ominous roar that echoed in the distance, the sound's vibrations against the surrounding mountain range prevented him from determining a more precise location of its cause. Isn't that just my luck for you? Just when you think you've gone through half the battle, said half breaks loose, and goes off on another, buzzing rampage. Careful what you wish for, Parker.

"Weh, oh weh hath maw wittow, tuhddee bug gawn?"

Poof!

"Please, Spider Bite, you do need to enunciate your words more clearly," said the suspended Discord with his arms crossed in an irritant manner, for he found his position to be upside down. As soon as the yellow Pegasus flew up to join them, shortly after, she deeply muttered in worry, "So, what're we going to do, now?"

Looking back to the wide open spaces of Ponyville, and the valley in which it was settled, Spidey took a deep breath before saying, "I have no clue."