Getting Started

(present day)

“I do believe we requested to hear how your meeting with the dragons came to be, not all of this superfluous nonsense.” Spoke Princess Celestia in a commanding tone. The look on her face was one of annoyance. It seems like my beginnings in this world were a bit of a lengthy story. Also I think that I caught a hint of disbelief earlier when I told her about my response to some of the situations we found ourselves in.

Come to think of it, I bet she doesn’t believe a word I have said thus far. Oh well can’t please’em all.

“I was just about to get to…”

What interrupted me sounded like a mating call for a whale. Looking around the room I caught sight of the purple pony I saved earlier with a look of embarrassment burning across her face.

“Sorry, I was going to have lunch with Fluttershy before all this happened and never stopped to eat anything after it all settled down. I was just too excited to.” The purple pony Princess politely proffers… Did I just alliterate? Fuck my life, I hate this damn world.

“It’s okay Twilight, we can stop here for now and have dinner. It is about that time anyway.” Celestia offers her fellow Princess with a warm smile and a caring look.

“Hey how come she gets the warm smile and I get looked at like I’m dog crap to be scrapped off your hoof? Seriously that’s…

WHACK!

“Walker what have I told you about saying things like that?” Reprimands Mira.

“That I should do it more often?’ I quip back, which earns me a swift kick to the shin.

“OW!! Jesus Mira, I was just joking. God woman I’m swear you take some sort of perverse pleasure in abusing me.” I hug my left shin while trying to balance on just one leg.

“It seems you have some difficulty keeping him in line. I do know a few spells that may help you keep him more ‘docile’, if you wish to learn them.” Offers Bitchlestia. Seriously she is being a fucking cunt. I have been around her for only a couple of hours and I already don’t fucking like her. Then again from what Mira told me, she already has a hate-on for humans. I wonder what the others did to her that got her so mad.

“Thank you for the offer Princess, but most spells of such a nature have no effect. Trust me I have tried more than a few times.” Mira explains while staring daggers my way.

It’s not like I am always a dick, I just can’t stand assholes. So when I catch someone being one I call them on their shit. NO one is above everyone, no matter their ‘social status’. So what if it’s gotten us of kicked out of some ‘Nobles’ home? As if any of those assholes were even worth talking to in the first place.

“Did you use any other spells besides those?” Twilight asks. Oops looks like I zoned out again.

“At the time no, but as we traveled we tested many others as I learned of them. We both wanted to know if it was an all out immunity or if there was some sort limitation we were unaware of. So far it would seem any sort of mental subversion through arcane means is impossible. Though we agree that there may be other methods we have yet to try of that may work. Several are out the window due to his new biology. Many chemical compounds specifically, as the dosage rates would more than likely kill him.” Explains Mira, at least she is always paying attention. God I hate when we get caught up having to explain this shit. I wish I had a packet or something handy to give them, so we wouldn’t have to do this every time.

“New biology? What do you mean?” Twilight asks with the spark of curiosity growing in her eyes.

It seems like she’s the bookworm type. Bet she is an autodidact. Nice hips too. Too bad she’s wearing that skirt I bet she has a great ass.

“Walker!”

“Huh?” Did I just wonder about her ass out loud? I hope not, though that would make things interesting…

“We have been invited to join the Princesses for dinner.” Mira informs me.

“Really?” I look over at Princess Bitchlestia with a raised eyebrow. “You’re actually inviting me to join you at your table. I assumed you would be having us dine in your ‘finest’ dungeon cell, not joining you with all the other people. I mean Mira I can understand but I figured you would have said something about a ‘no pets’ policy concerning me.”

Sighing she replies with “While I do not trust you, I do realize that I have not been exactly the most gracious hostess. I must apologize for my recent behavior I have been feeling very drained the last couple of days. Also you did save my former student. Though your behavior has been reprehensible I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” A brilliant flash of light and she is right in my face. The look in her eyes tells me that what she has to say next is nothing short of a direct threat. “Step one hair out of line and I will come down on you like a mountain and burn you to ash.”

It takes every single ounce of self control I have to not lick her snout, because fuck bitches that get in my face. “I understand Princess, and thank you for your kindness.” I state as I step back and bow deeply. A grin worms its way on to my face. “Know that if you ‘come’ down on me I will drink it eagerly.”

The room falls into a deep silence as my last statement settles in. Mira holds her breath fearing I may have just ruined whatever goodwill we have earned. Twilight stands by confusion etched into her features as she tries to figure out what I meant by that last statement.

Gotta give Sunbutt credit though, all she does is take a deep breath then let it out slowly.

“I do believe I am beginning to understand. Know I am watching you.” As she walks towards the double doors I could swear there is a slight sway to her hips. Twilight looks back and forth between us than follows Bit- Celestia out.

I think I won that round. Though the semi I am now sporting seems to disagree. Damn think I am gonna like it here now. A Cheshire grin spreads across my face.

SMACK!! “Just what in the Nine Circles of Hell were you thinking? I thank whatever Gods, who seem to watch over your stupid ass, that she DECIDED to be nice.” Mira practically screams at me.

“First off she started it. Secondly we’re falling behind and I’m hungry.” I reply to her obvious frustration.

With a sigh and a face palm we follow the two to the dining hall.

The walk there is lost to silence as I just stare at all of the opulence everywhere. I mean if it wasn’t made of marble it was gold, silver or sometimes even platinum. Even the floor had beautiful mosaics of precious stone and rare metals, all covered in some sort of clear coat to protect them and give everything a gorgeous shine. Bet it makes it easier to clean also.

God this whole palace is absolutely gorgeous. The columns have been fluted to add some texture to the hall. There are bust of significant figures throughout pony history recessed into the walls. I mean they really went and broke the bank on building this place. Even the windows are stained glass… Wait. Is that?

“Hey Twilight is that you?” I ask the purple pone, while pointing at one of the windows.

She looks to where I am point and smiles. “Yes that is my friends and I defeating Nightmare Moon and purifying Princess Luna. You might get a chance to meet her at dinner. Since she is the Princess of the Night she is awake at night.”

“Wow having to be awake all night like that must be incredible lonely and boring.” I muse out loud.

“Unfortunately that is exactly what turned her into Nightmare Moon to begin with.” Twilight replies sadly.

*Damn and they are just gonna let it happen again? What the hell is wrong with these ponies? Love and tolerance my ass. I’ve seen pit fighters treat each other better during a death match.* I decide if I do meet her and she isn’t a bitch like Celestia than I will stay awake all night with her just so she has someone to talk to that isn’t one of these guard statues.

I mean seriously the guards here stand stone fucking still staring in one direction. Also the shiny gold plate-mail is more for show than actual protection.

“We’re here.”

Drifting back out of my thoughts I see another set of double doors. God it’s like they are expecting super fat people to show up at places like this. I mean almost every door we have come across has been a double door. At least it’s made of Walnut. Good durable wood with strong versatility.

The doors have a fork and knife motif engraved deep into the wood, I guess to help people identify what is behind the door. As if the smells coming from the room wouldn’t give it away.

Upon entering there is a long dark Cherry wood table. It is lined with plates, utensils and even candles. There are servants scurrying around lighting all of the candles on the table. You would figure with the ability to use magic they would have some sort of Mage Light.

I mean seriously, how much magic would it really take to create a ball of light sufficient enough to brighten the room.

“Hey Twilight-“

“Princess Twilight” Celestia and Mira are quick to correct.

Turning to look at both of them I decide to settles this before they do that again. Also surprised I didn’t get corrected earlier. “Excuse me Princess Twilight, but what do you prefer?”

“Oh…um well I guess just Twilight is okay. I mean I’m really not used to being a Princess. Also I don’t really want to be treated any different just because I’m an Alicorn now.” She explains nervously.

“Now that we have that settled, I wanted to ask you a question. If you don’t mind that is.”

Her eyes light up in the most adorable way. This girl really likes questions and sharing information. I bet her dream home is a library. “I was wondering why candles instead of making some sort of Mage Light to brighten the room. It seems like a small application of magic would solve lighting issues easily.”

“Oh, that’s because while generating light via magic would be more efficient it lacks the ‘atmosphere’ brought on by candles. If I wanted to grow an indoor garden than a light source crafted through arcane means would be perfect, due to the fact that it uses actual light photons to generate the light. Sadly since it uses actual light very few unicorns have the skills necessary to utilize the spell to its full potential. And with Cutie Marks determining where a pony excels even less unicorns are capable of producing such effects.”

“Makes sense but it would seem that by using a modified shield spell one could harness light and write in a sub-clause that allows light to slowly filter out. The only issue I see is finding something to draw the light into the shield to begin with.” I look up to the ceiling considering several options when I realize I already know the perfect solution. “A rune carved gem should do the trick; actually you could even replace the whole set up with the gem to begin with. Carve a set for absorbing than one for a timed release of that built up light. Though you would have to change it from light to ambient magic, but it should still work just fine. You could even utilize a fire as your energy source, since not every pony is capable of externalizing their magic like unicorns, and you could even use its nature based energy to fuel the flicker that a flame creates on its own. It would give you the ‘atmosphere’ desired and it would even allow for easy transport while traveling.” When I turn to look over at Twilight I see that both she and Princess Celestia are surprised. Which to be honest is unsurprising. Most take one look at me and assume I’m an idiot. I love tripping people up like that.

“That would certainly work but that requires ponies be trained in the art of rune crafting and unfortunately the Zebras are the only ones with that knowledge. They refuse to teach us since we already have some control over magic already.” She explains while taking a seat at the table.

I quickly sit down to her left. “Well you just happen to be in luck. During my travels I stayed with the Zebras and they taught me how to craft runes. Well they taught me the basics the rest was just trial and error, with a whole lot of error. I lost my eyebrows trying to make these.” I say placing my arms on the table and showing her the bracelets on my arms. They are about three inches wide, about a half inch thick. The band is made of two separate materials. The inner band is platinum. The outer band is simple steel. Both bands are covered in complex series of runes. The bracelet on my right has a pair of small diamond chips placed at the center point of the outer bands creating a sort of bracket surrounding one of the runes carved into the platinum.

“What are they?” She asks inspecting them. The excitement growing on her face is absolutely amazing. She really must love learning.

“What would you two like for dinner?” A waiter I didn’t even hear walk up to us asks. Of course his sudden appearance startles me making me jump slightly in my seat.

“Dude you scared the bejeezus out of me.” I place a hand to my chest to try and settle my racing heart.

Twilight and Princess Celestia both look at me with matching pairs of confused expressions. Mira is doing her best not to laugh her ass off. Damn that bug.

“Believe it or not he startles very easily for some reason. I have seen him stare down ten charging Minotaurs at once without flinching. He has even taken out someone hiding in the shadows without batting an eye, but the moment a noncombatant stands next to him without him realizing he just freaks.”

“Hey it helps that I was trained to fight by a charging minotaur. Also all the assassins that tried to kill us so far have released their killing intent to soon and tipped me off. As for food a simple salad without hay, alfalfa, straw or flowers will be fine. Thanks.” I say once my heart rate returns to normal. “Also to answer your question Twilight I call them Resistors. As the name implies they resist things, specifically the body’s ability to move in any particular direction. Think of them as body weights. By using the interior band on the right side I can adjust the resistance my body perceives acting against it. Since I only made them last year I am at only twice the normal resistance. Think of it as if my body weight has been doubled. In a few months I plan on up it to ‘three times my normal body weight’. Though there are certain issues to doing this. I cannot simply up the weight without consequence. One such consequence is that it puts heavy stress on my muscles and bones. Meaning I could-“

“Tear muscles and break bones doing something as simple as lifting a cup. Why would you put yourself in such a dangerous situation? I mean the benefits would be impressive but the potential draw backs are just as bad, if not worse in some cases.” The concern for my well being is touching but misplaced.

“Like Mira said earlier, I obtained a new biology which prevents most of the dangers from being too serious. I mean if I go up to fast than yeah I could die but these only go up to 10, so while the chance of serious injury is still possible the chance of dying is minimized.” I explain, though it seems to do little to alleviate her concern.

“That is the second time you two have mentioned new biology. What exactly does that mean?” She asks. I guess she got uncomfortable with the talk of death and pain.

I open my mouth to explain what I mean but the sound of Mira giving a polite cough interrupts me.

“Walker you haven’t eaten all day. You need more than a salad to sustain you and you know it.” She says giving me her scolding mother look.

“Ugh fine.” Turning I see the waiter still standing there. Guess Mira asked him to wait. “Get me some bread as well please.”

“Walker.” Mira says in a threatening tone.

“God damn it woman I’m not hungry”

“I don’t care you need to eat. Remember what happened last time you didn’t eat?” She asks crossing her arms. Damn she isn’t going to let it go.

“Alright, fuck me.” Sighing I think for a moment. “Do you have any meat back there?”

“One moment please sir.” The waiter walks back into the kitchen. To my surprise I see a chipper looking griffon exit and walk over to me.

“I was told you are a carnivore?” He asks as a huge smile threatens to tear his head in half.

“Okay that smile is just creepy, but yeah. I need a steak, potatoes, no gravy use the natural juices as the sauce. Cook the potatoes with sautéed onions over the top. I go with chef’s choice on the type of meat and lastly make it rare please.” Not a fan of steak really, too limited in what you can use it for but I know if I don’t eat a meal like this Mira will be on my ass all night.

“Consider it done.” He says with glee and dashes back into the kitchen.

“Nice fellow, though that smile is seriously creepy.” I say as I turn back to the table.

“Thank you Walker.”

“Don’t mention it Mira I know you are just looking after my well being. Anyways as I was about to say my new-“

The main door to the dinning hall slams open interrupting me yet again. Looking over I see another Alicorn walk in this one is the complete opposite from Celestia in every way physically possible.