Getting Started

Beep-Beep

Beep-Beep

Beep-Beep

Oww my fucking head is trying to kill me. What was the fucking dumb thing I did this time? Waking up like this is never, ever my favorite, usually because I have an angry changeling standing next to me ready to slap me in the back of my head for pulling a stupid.
Speaking of which there seems to be a severe lack of aforementioned hand meeting the back of my head at the moment. Sitting up and taking a look around the room I can clearly see I am in a hospital. Also it would seem the aforementioned bug is missing.

“Okay I’m here, but where the hell is my bug?” I wonder out loud.

When I go to scratch the back of my head my hand stops suddenly, looking down I see I am cuffed to the bed. “Okay this is getting weird and kind of kinky. Mira didn’t you tell them simple restraints won’t hold me?” I call out expecting her to be on the other side of my door.
With a quick yank and a loud snap, a link breaks, freeing me from the bed. Sighing to myself and wondering again where in the hell my bug is at, I climb out of bed and search the room for my personal effects.

A second later I hear the door open behind me, without turning around “Hey Mira, why didn’t you tell them that those restraints wouldn’t hold me? Especially without the Resistor attached. I mean seriously using those are about as effective as trying to detain a minotaur with a wet paper bag. I mean even if they have a null field built into them they still wouldn’t be able to hold me.”

“We will be sure to take that into account next time vermin. Now lie back on the bed or I will force you to do so” Says a rough voice that quite clearly does not belong to Mira. “Also we have already detained your companion, so make this easier on yourself and comply.”

I turn around to see one of those Royal Guards, earth pony style, all done up in that hideously fancy gold armor they all seem to wear. “Ha hahaha. That’s a good one Sparky now run along before you hurt yourself.” I start to turn back around but I thought occurs to me so I look back up at him, and boy does he look pissed as all hell. “You wouldn’t happen to know where they put my clothes would you?” I ask simply.

Only to have a response of his spear thrust at my face.

I quickly duck under the attack. “Come on all I did was ask a question. I mean the hospital gowns are all flowly and shit, so I’m worried I might pop out while walking around. I mean I don’t have a sheath for my junk like ya’ll stallions do. So I’m just flapping in the breeze under this thing.” Of course the whole time I attempt to explain this to the nice stallion, he is trying to impale me on the end of his spear. God that just sounds dirty. “Look I know I snapped at you back there and I am sorry for it but seriously don’t you think this is a bit of an overreaction. Do you want me to write you a letter of apology, because I could do that if you stop trying to impale me with your spear… you know even out loud that sounds dirty.”

Next thing I know I find myself pinned to the ceiling by a gold aura. Unable to move at the moment I decide taking a break from strenuous activity sounds like a great idea, I mean I did just wake up in a hospital.
“I would seriously consider listening to my Guard human, or I just might kill you here and now.” Comes’ a seriously amazing and very angry sounding voice from the hallway.

Into the room walks in probably the most sexiest being on the planet, second to me of course. Standing at around 7ft tall, with a tit to ass ratio that would make any male, straight or not, drool like an idiot, sporting a soft pastel colored mane and a white coat is Princess Celestia herself, dressed in an elegant yet simple white dress. Her horn glowing the same gold color that is holding me to the ceiling, her wings spreading out slowly to either side as she enters the room.

“The only reason you even still breathe is the eyewitness accounts of you saving Princess Twilight. So it would behoove you to cooperate and lie back down on that bed.” She commands in a very authoritative voice.

“Are you going to be joining me in bed beautiful?” I ask with a shit eating grin on my face. Looking back later I realized in that moment I had just fucked up. In an instant I find myself hurtling into the floor at speeds unachievable in the limited space between the ceiling and the floor.
“Oww, so should I take that as a no? Or is this your idea of foreplay? Because if it is, I think you need to work on it.” Seriously being slammed into the floor at high speed hurts like a bitch, then again it ain’t the first time I have had a personal interview with the floor of a hospital.

“You would dare to suggest that I would even consider committing such an act with the likes of you? How dare you, you filth.” Having my back meet the ceiling is definitely as uncomfortable as meeting the floor, though flying backwards is as interesting as you would think it to be.

“You know something, this game is starting to get a little old. I mean I know you don’t, but do you know how many times I have been slammed into things since I got here?” I ask turning my head slightly to look over at the Princess, and God damn bitch got major titties. From my spot on the ceiling I can see right down her dress and damn that is some glorious cleavage.

Before she can reintroduce my face to the floor, the sound of running hooves is heard from the hallway. “Please Princess Celestia, I beg you to stop. I know he’s an idiot but he means you no harm. He just does not think before he speaks.” Mira pleads, as she slides into the room before prostrating herself in front of the Princess.

Princess Celestia looks down at her with a sneer. “Why should I even listen to anything a changeling has to say?”

“I know that neither Walker nor I rate very highly in the lands of Equestria, but please I beg of you. We mean your ponies no harm. We are only here, in these lands chasing down the Puppeteer. I swear.” Mira pleads still keeping her eyes trained on the floor in front of her.

“She is telling the truth.” I state from my place on the ceiling, which is kind of comfy, now that I’m not being slammed against it. “She dropped him off at Town Hall since this place doesn’t have a prison cell or something similar. He should still be there or being processed as we speak.”
“Silence both of you! How dare you even think to speak to the Princess, considering all that you and your kind have done” yells the Guard. He kicks Mira in the side knocking her over.

Needless to say I take some serious offense and stare at the Guard. “Hey buddy you better hope the nice Lady holding me right now never lets go while you’re-“I get interrupted as a tray hits me in the side of the head.

“Walker shut the hell up and let me handle this.” Mira glares at me for a moment then kneels in front of the Princess again. “Please Princess, I completely understand your distrust of us and Walker’s behavior has been utterly horrendous towards you, but I beg of you to give us a chance to prove ourselves to be worthy of even a little trust.”

Looking back down at Mira, Princess Celestia notices a ring around the base of her horn. “Changeling lie to me now and I will have you both locked away till you wither away. What is the purpose of that ring?”

“It is a null-field ring your Majesty. I requested it the moment Walker came under the influence of the manticore venom in his system. I knew it would be the only way any of the citizens or even hospital staff would trust me enough to not kill me on sight.” Mira replied calmly.

“You requested it yourself? I doubt that highly.” Says the Princess with sneer “Why would one who specializes in hiding allow such an ability to be taken away?”

“Because Walker is my friend your Highness, while medical treatment is not necessary for him when it comes to something as simple as venom, but I know waking up somewhere he can recover in comfort is something he appreciates.”

“She isn’t lying Princess Celestia.” Comes’ another voice from the hallway. Seriously how many others are out there waiting to come in here and add to this conversation?

“Princess Twilight, are you telling me that you believe this… thing?” Princess Celestia asks, honestly confused and a little bit disgusted that anypony would ever trust the word of a changeling, especially Twilight.

“Unfortunately it’s not a matter of belief Princess. I had Rainbow Dash corroborate her story by checking with town hall. They said somepony her height, wearing a black cloak did in fact drop off the Puppeteer and collect the reward. Also when the human fell to the ground after saving my life she begged for us to bring him to a hospital. She also asked to be fitted for the null ring and placed under watch in the hospital so that she could await his awakening. Not once did she move or try to even bring her magic to bear in an attempt to subvert anypony. She has been waiting patiently in the waiting room. At least until she ran off when loud thumping noises started to occur.” explained Twilight in a slightly disbelieving tone.

Princess Celestia looks back and forth between the two of us for several minutes before sighing and letting me drop back to the ground. “You should count yourselves very lucky that Princess Twilight has decided to vouch for you. If she had not… well the consequences would have been very unpleasant for the both of you.”

I sit up and brush myself off quickly. “Well thank you then Lady Twilight. I appreciate you helping us out like that.” I smile happily to her.
“I only did it because you saved my life and brought a criminal to justice. Had that not been the case I would have not intervened at all.”

“But you did and now I know you are a good, honest pony, which is something I respect a lot.” I say still smiling.

Twilight raises an eyebrow wondering what kind of weirdo I am. *I mean what kind of crazy being not only steps in front of a manticore, befriends a changeling but also acts like such an idiot when their very life hangs in the balance? He seems like such a simpleton.*

After sighing in frustration Princess Celestia clears her throat gaining the attention of those present. “Since it seems that the only crime here is disrespecting myself and the Royal Guard and my fellow Princess has asked that I be lenient, I will not have either of you arrested.” I look at Mira and grin happily. “But since I have no real reason to trust either of you, you shall join me back at Canterlot, in the castle under constant supervision. Should either of you step even one hair out of line I will have you both imprisoned. Do I make myself absolutely clear?”

Before I can even answer one way or the other, Mira appears at my side and slams my head to the floor. “Perfectly your Eminence.” She says to Princess Celestia, then to me “Walker don’t you dare say a word or I will string you up and beat you till you are black and blue.”

Of course the simple fact that she choose to word it that way means I can’t leave it alone. “A word” I say with a grin only to get punched in the side of the head. “Oww Mira, little rough don’t you think.”

“I swear Walker if you get us into anymore trouble I am going to kill you.” She says giving me her no nonsense look.

Sighing I simply nod and stand up. Of course standing reminds me that I am still wearing the hospital gown, only now the gown has shifted just enough that my dick is now poking out. “Umm…any chance I could get my stuff back.”

All eyes in the room turn towards me and the new member looking to them all. The moment the guard and Twilight see it they turn and blush, though I think Twilight is more attempting to become a tomato with how red she is.

Sighing Princess Celestia ignites her horn again and adjusts my gown then calls for a nurse to bring in my things.

A little bit later a white earth pony nurse, with the typical hospital sign as a cutie mark brings me my clothes. When she hands them over I grin. “Thank you sweetheart that is mighty kind of you.”

She just rolls her eyes and walks away, though I do notice that her hips sway just a bit as she does.

I chuckle softly to myself then rip the gown off of my body. Hearing a gasp I look up and see that Princess Twilight is covering her mouth and looking at me in horror. Curious as to what the look is for I look at my body and notice nothing out of the ordinary. “What?”

Twilight sniffles slightly and walks up to me, placing a hand on some of the scars covering my body. “How are you even still standing after some many injuries?” She gently traces several of them seeming to try and divine their origin.

I chuckle while a soft smile spreads across my face. “Well I didn’t get them all at once, if that is what you are thinking happened. If I ever have the chance I would be more than happy to tell you how I obtained some of them. Some of them have quiet the tale attached to them.”

She looks up at me struggling not to cry. “Some of these look like torture scars though.”

I gently pat the top of her head. “True, some of them are, but here I am and they aren’t so, no need to worry about me Princess. Though I do appreciate your-“before I could finish the Guard knocks my hand off the top of her head.

“Do not touch her Majesty.” Growls the Guard threateningly.

Princess Twilight seemed to have a very different opinion on whether I could touch her or not, because the moment Guard threatens me she whips around and glares. “You do not decide who has the right to touch me. It is my body and I will decide for myself, thank you very much.”

The poor Guard just cowers a little while attempting to stutter out an apology. I-I…I’m sorry your Highness. Please forgive me.”

“Give the guy a break Princess he was just looking out for your well being is all.” I stick up for the Guard surprising both of them.

Twilight at least has the decency to look sheepish about her faux pas. “I’m sorry. I’m really not use to being a Princess.”

“It’s completely understandable Princess. I did not mean to upset you.” Looking over at me the Guard sighs. “Thank you as well I guess.”

“Don’t mention it. Now if ya’ll don’t mind I need to finish getting dressed.” I say smiling, still in my birthday suit.

After a couple seconds both the Guard and Princess Twilight realize I am standing there butt naked. Both blush and look off to the side
After rummaging through my stuff, I see that it’s all there. I pull on my dark grey pants, black vest and button up my boots. Putting on my cloak reveals all of my weapons underneath, which as you guessed causes another series of out bursts.

“Stop right there. Touch those weapons and I will be forced to kill you.” Growls the Guard, the tip of his spear pressed firmly against my back, though to be honest it sounds like he really doesn’t want to.

“Fine, take the throwing knives, but this one stays with me.” I say picking up my dagger and unsheathing it, to check for any damage.

The Guard pushes the spear tip into my back just enough to cause a slight amount of bleeding. “Drop that one as well, now.”

I turn slightly and stare him in the eyes. “This one stays-“

SMACK!!

“Walker! What did I tell you about causing more trouble? Now hand over the dagger as well or so help me, I will tan that hide of yours.” Exclaims Mira.

“Mira you-“

“I don’t want to hear it Walker. Now hand over the dagger, before you get us killed.”

Sighing I hand the dagger and sheath to the Guard, once he takes hold of them I let go with a grin.

The Guard looks at me confused for a second before his left hand plummets to the floor.” What in the name of the Sun?”

Laughing loudly, “Only I can lift it when it’s not in the sheath. The dragon who gave it to me said something about the amount of magic in it making it partially sentient or some such. Honestly I was to drunk at the time to listen at the time.”

Mira slaps me in the back of the head again. “Walker sheath the dagger and hand it over properly, now!” demands Mira getting very annoyed with my antics.

“Fine.” Bending over I pick up the dagger and sheath it so the Guard can hold it. “Sorry I just don’t get a chance to see that particularly effect often and it’s kind of funny to see people’s reactions.” I say sheepishly while rubbing the back of my head.

“You are severely trying my patience human.” Intones Celestia while she stares daggers my way.

I hold my hands up and grin. “I sorry I’s just an idiot that don’t knows no bettah.”

She sighs and rubs her face with one hand. “Let us just adjourn to the castle already. I have had enough of these shenanigans, never thought any but Discord would have me utter such.” She says with a roll of her eyes.

“Princess Celestia, would it be alright if I join you? I would like to question the human and see what information we might be able to gain on their current activities.” Asks Twilight, hoping to learn more than just current events.

“Sorry but I have no clue what the other humans are up to. Wish I could give you something but suffice it to say them and I don’t see eye to eye on anything.” I pipe up.

“We shall see what you know once we return to the castle. Also you may join us Twilight, I think you may be able to think of questions I might not and gain us knowledge that we did not have before on the humans” Replies Princess Celestia as she looks me up and down.

A little while later finds Mira and me in a carriage on our way to Canterlot. I have to say though, the carriage is amazing, and the seats are soft, rich, crushed red velvet lined with polished brass buttons separating it into seats. The frame is made from some dark colored wood that lends a sense of privacy and comfort. The windows have beautiful dark blue satin curtains covering them adding even more privacy to the ride.

Whistling “Wow never thought I would be brought anywhere in this much style. I must say I’m admiring the craftsmanship and care that has gone into building our current means of transportation then the actual fact that I am in something so beautifully crafted.”

“I’m surprised that a barbaric brute such as you can even appreciate such finery.” Spouts the Guard from earlier, who seems to refuse to stop staring at me.

“Hey just because I like fighting and causing a commotion where ever I go does not mean I don’t understand or appreciate the amount of time and effort that goes into to building a carriage. I mean look at the support beam here.” I say pointing over his shoulder. “The carpenter that made it took the time to specifically carve this by hand, with a simple wood planer. Not that fancy unicorn magic or growing the tree through earth pony magic. Whoever did this took the time to lovingly craft this entire thing. Every bend, curve and angle was hand crafted by somepony that wanted their work to truly be able to stand the test of time and do the job it was meant to.” I explain.

Raising an eyebrow “Wow, I would have never expected you to be so passionate about something like this. It kind of seems at odds with how you were earlier at the hospital.”

“That my dear friend is just how I am when I am forced to deal with unexpected situations upon awakening. Though there is one thing I would like to fix from earlier, well two things I guess, first is I am sorry with the way I acted it was really stupid and I tend to be a bit more reactive then proactive. Second, is I never got your name, mine is Walker and if it’s not too much of an issue I would really like to start fresh.” I say holding my hand out.

The Guard starts laughing. “You really are a strange one aren’t you? Alright then.” He reaches up and removes his helmet. The moment he does, there is a slight ripple across him like heat seen at a distance. Where once sat a grey earth pony with a white mane and tail, now sits a green earth pony with a sort of mud brown mane and tail. “Nice to meet you Walker, my name is Foe Hammer.” He says in a way more feminine voice.

“Wait are you a…?” I try to ask but can’t seem to get the word out.

“Hahahaha yes Walker I’m actually a mare.” She says with a smile on her face.

“Holy crap I would not have guessed that in a million years. I thought the armor only changed physical appearance so commanding officers wouldn’t be so easily spotted on the battlefield. I never considered that they would alter auditory perception as well. That seems kind of odd to me though. Why would the armor make you look and sound like a stallion? I mean that doesn’t seem to make any sense considering the gender equality here in the lands of Equestria. I know the gender ratio is skewed to some degree here.”

“Yeah there are more mares than stallions here and also neither is looked as inferior to the other, but a lot of visiting diplomats get a bit huffy when they realize a mare has been assigned to their guard detail. So the Princesses got together and tweaked the armor to be a bit more comprehensive.” She explained with a sigh.

“Guessing you have had to deal with your fair share?”

“Yeah, since I tested well as a body guard I tend to end up be working with the diplomats a lot but once some of them find out I am female suddenly I am incompetent and a liability.” She says sighing at the end of it.

“Well from what I have seen thus far you excel at the job. Also I think you are much easier on the eyes like this.” I say with a smirk.
Mira smacks me in the back of the head. “Walker stop flirting. She is trying to do a job and doesn’t need you getting her into more trouble.”

Laughing Hammer replies “He can try all he wants won’t do him any good. I’m a lesbian.”

Her saying that nearly causes me to lose my shit. “Well then maybe you should have a look at my dear friend Mira here. Cause come on she’s a changeling, she could literally be anyone you have ever wanted to sleep with.”

“No offense, but I am not interested. Already have a mare I’m after…Why the hell am I even telling you all of this.” Hammer asks confused.

“I don’t know I just seem to have a very relaxing personality, just kind of always been that way. Anyone I talk to just seems to open up. Never like life story, type opening up but, you know a more, friendly sort of style. I just seem to be very relaxing from what I have been told.” I answer her unintended question. “I have even had some fall asleep leaning against me when riding on the train. I mean like strangers on the train just leaning on me and passing out, only to wake up later and tell me it was the best sleep they had without being in a bed, kind of comfortable around me.”

“That is odd. Though why would you let them use you as a pillow or something?” Foe Hammer asks.

“I just don’t care. I mean so what if they’re using me as a pillow for some time. It’s not like they are hurting me or causing me any sort of suffering and also they are happy and comfortable around me. I mean I am human in a world that hates humans, when they show that level of comfortability around me it makes me feel like it might all work out in the end for me.”

You really are a strange one, you know that?” Foe says with a grin spreading across her face.”Question though, what is up with that Dagger? I mean beyond the obvious, also you mentioned something about getting it from a Dragon? I didn’t think they would have such a unique item nor would they willing part with it.”

“That my dearest Hammer is quite the tale.” I say with a smile making its way on to my face at the memory.