Author's Note

Saw that I had 300 views and since I had this chapter pretty much finished already I thought I might as well finish it and post it as a thank you to all of you.

Chapter 4

{5yrs 11 months ago}

After introductions we carried Amy, who did not like the nickname by the way, about a hundred yards into the woods along the roadside after looting what was left on the chickens bodies that is. Found out the straps and sheathes for the weapons were burnt enough to be unusable and don’t even get me started on the crossbow.

We spent a few days hidden, just letting Amethyst get some rest and heal up from her minor wounds. Thankfully her leg wasn’t broken it was just a dislocated the knee. She said that with her natural healing rate it should be good in about three weeks maybe less. She refused to lie down and rest, stating that ‘it is nothing more than a flesh wound’.

Mira ran into town for supplies, mostly new straps for the throwing knives and food. While she was in town Amethyst and I talked about a few different things but mostly just me filling her in on how Mira and I met.

Apparently there was some pony holiday that had just pasted called The Summer Sun Celebration. It was supposedly the one thousandth since the imprisonment of someone called Nightmare Moon. Whoever the fuck that was. What really caught my attention though was the fact that if my calculations are correct then it happened the day I got to this weird ass place. Shockingly Nightmare Moon was real and shrouded half the world in night for a full day. Though the day got saved by a group of mares called the Elements of Harmony. They used some ancient magical artifacts to…cure…free…whatever, they returned Princess Luna, who by the way is Princess Celestia’s sister, to her normal self. After which there was a second celebration for the return of Princess Luna.

Anyways since we had some time and jack shit to do I tried using the throwing knives on an evil tree that tried to kill me. Seriously when we found this spot it reached a root out tripping me. The other two say that I did it to myself but I know what really happened.

As I stand there whacking the tree with the butts of the throwing knives I hear a sigh followed up with a slapping sound.

“Seriously how can you suck that bad. I mean you haven’t even hit it once with the blade, even by chance.” I turn seeing Amy staring at me with a dubious look on her face.

“Hey this is the first time I’ve ever used these.” Looking up I place a finger on my chin. “I think this is the first time anyways. I mean considering how horrible I am with them certainly suggests no prior experience with such equipment and, the lack of muscle memory for the activity definitely corroborates this theory.”

Walking over to me she takes one out of my hand “If you are going to use them then at least shut up and watch.” Pulling her arm back to the side of her head she snaps her arm out letting the throwing knife fly, burying the tip in the tree. “When using them remember it’s in the wrist. The arm only provides a little bit of power. It’s the wrist flick that adds the real power. Also make sure when you throw it you’re not trying to get it to spin. These are meant for straight flight." Lifting a second one and throwing it I watch her arm move in a fluid well practiced motion.

“Damn this is so fucking cool! I mean seriously I am learning how to throw knives from a dragon. This is the best day ever!" I nearly shout as a grin spreads across my face.

“I swear Walker you say that literally every time something mildly interesting happens to you.” Mira says walking into camp her pack loaded down with various supplies for the road ahead.

“Well I can’t fucking help it, I’m hear learning all kinds of cool shit from one of the Kings… or well in this case a Queen of Beasts. No offence meant in the beast part it’s just that dragons were rarely intelligent according to mythology on…were I came from last.” *I am so done calling that place home or whatever variation may come to mind. It was a place, a shithole really.* While I was thinking I must have had a creepy look cause the other two have leaned away from me just a little bit. “What?”

“You had this really pissed off look on your face.” Pipes up Amethyst wondering what made look so angry.

“Sorry I was just thinking of where I lived before ending up on this planet.” Taking a deep breath I try to settle the rising anger from thinking about that place. *Damn it. Why the hell am I getting so angry? I just need to settle down.* Taking a few deep breathes I feel the anger begin to ease back.

“Walker?” Mira places a hand on my shoulder getting me to look into her eyes. She searches them for a few seconds, concern written clear as day across her face.

With a smile and a pat on her hand I let her know I’m okay. “Don’t worry Mira just a little bit of anger. Not losing it just yet.”

Staring deep into my eyes for a moment longer she sighs and gives me a quick hug. “Just remember if you lose yourself I lose you too.”

“And kiss.” Amethyst suddenly spouts, causing Mira to shove me to the ground.

“God damn it Amy, what the hell? That was so not cool” Rubbing my sore ass I wonder if it will bruise. “Careful you made me land on my money maker” After standing I give a quick shake of my ass.

Both Mira and Amy roll their eyes chuckling at my silly antics. That’s right I am sexy and you know it girls.

“Walker I can honestly say after having been forced to see your hindquarters for the last month and it most definitely not your money maker. There is no living being on this planet that would even pay one corroded bit to see it.” Says Mira while giggling behind her hand.

“Wow Mira tell me how you really feel why don’t ya?” I reply a little hurt.

“Oh come on Walker. What can’t you take a joke?” She quips.

I roll my eyes; pick up a throwing knife and go back to practice.

“Come on Walker I was just making a joke no need to take it so hard.” Watching me practice the motion Amethyst taught for throwing.

“That’s what she said.” I say over my shoulder. I know she didn’t mean anything by it but, it seems I am a little sensitive about how I look. Not something I was actually expecting about my old personality, though I probably should have.

With a sigh and a smile Mira turns to Amy “Well at least he’s okay now. So how are you doing?” Taking a knee in front of her Mira begins checking the bandages covering some of the wounds.

“Doing pretty good mostly just sore now. I should be good to go by tomorrow morning.” Amethyst replies with a smile. “You know for being supposed criminals you two are really cool, if a little weird”

“Hey I am the only weird one here. She’s just a shape shifting bug.” My little comment resulted in a rock hitting me in the head. “Also be careful she is extremely abusive.”

“The only one I abuse is you and that is because I love you.” She replies without thinking.

A grin spreads across my face. “You love me Mira? I-I … I didn’t know you felt so strongly about me.” Mira stiffens realizing how much ammunition I now have and that she won’t be hearing the end of this anytime soon. Taking the classic hands over heart stance “Mira I swear by the stars, the moon even the sun that revolves around this wonderful planet, I shall cherish your love and do all that I can to support you and any children we have.” I take a knee holding my hand out to her while looking at the ground. It’s a struggle to hold still and not fall over laughing at the amount of ham and cheese.

Sighing, Mira swats me on the head. “Walker knock it off. Any more drama and we’re going to end up getting this scene in the story deleted.”

The whole clearing goes quiet for a moment, all of us trying to process what she just said.

“Mira?”

“I-I… I don’t know what that was. What the buck was that even supposed to mean?” Looking up at Mira I see confusion and concern warring across that adorable muzzle of hers.

“Walker? Am I going to be okay?”

Pulling her into a hug I whisper into her ear “No Mira you’ll never be okay.”

She looks at me with alarm in her eyes.

Sighing “You’ll never be okay because… you… you’re” sniffling I bury my face into her neck. “You’re my friend, so you will never be okay.”
Growling Mira shoves me off her “Damn it Walker. I seriously thought you actually being serious. Could you please not joke for five god damn minutes?” She opens her mouth to say something but immediately closes it again while adopting a thinking look and tilting her head to the sky as if she is trying to gain answers to questions only she knows.

“Mira?” Kind of worried I give her a gentle shake.

Turning back to me a look of frustration spreads over her “I hate you so much. Did you know that? I’m apparently so use to your way of speaking I am even starting to USE IT!” She finishes with a yell.

Flinching back, I try saving face with a sheepish look. “At least if you’re using my way of talking you won’t have to worry about me calling you adorable so much anymore?” A nervous chuckle passes through me.

Sighing into her hands she shakes it off. Looking back to Amethyst she rolls her eyes before getting back to checking the last couple of bandages.

“You two are so freaking weird, yet so much fun to watch. It’s like a play unfolding in front me all the time.” Jokes Amethyst apparently enjoying our little show.

The rest of the evening is spent with me still practicing and the girls talking, not that I really bothered to listen though. I was to focused inwards to really pay any attention to my surroundings.

*Is this how it happened for them? Did it start as little flair ups? Getting angry over nothing?* Sighing I launch another knife only to have it bounce off the tree again. *Was I always so quick to anger or is that because I’m here now? Could a magical environment even affect emotions like that? Maybe it can. I mean why not, I don’t know the full extent of magic. Hell I’m traveling with a bug that consumes emotion as if it was food, so why wouldn’t there be something that amplifies emotions. It would definitely follow with all of the weirdness that happens here.* Growling I throw the knife harder at the tree resulting in another miss. “FUCK!!” Grabbing the last three knives I throw them at the tree without really thinking.

Both girls turn from their conversation looking at me wondering why I’m yelling.

“Walker?” Mira calmly walks up to me placing a hand on my shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“The spiral.”

Mira sighs, knowing there really isn’t much she can do about it.

“Umm I’m sorry but what’s the ‘spiral’?” Asks Amethyst a little concerned.

“It’s what he calls the circular thinking that he has been stuck in since he got here. As you know he woke up here without any personal memories. Because of that he gets stuck in what he calls ‘the spiral’, it’s where, as he explains it, the questions lead into more question which just lead back to the original ones in a never ending cycle. Though this is the first time he has gotten so worked up over it. Most of the time he slips into a depressive slump.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the questions that are causing you to freak so much. Not saying I can give any kind of answer but maybe you just need a new perspective on it or something like that.” Says Amethyst trying to offer some help in return.

Sighing “Did the humans lose their minds because they couldn’t go home, or was it because they came to this world and the ambient magic amplified their emotions to the point they just lost control. Is it going to happen to me? Am I going to turn and attack Mira? Am I already in the process of losing myself? Should I just kill myself now just to be safe? Should I isolate myself to keep others safe? What should I do? What am I capable of even doing?” Turning and looking Amethyst in the eyes “I can build a sustainable campsite, craft traps from scraps found in the wilderness. I can identify a slew of edible and poisonous plants that can be found in a number of places. By looking at my body I can tell I have never once been in an actual fight before coming here yet I understand a variety of tactics and strategies used for either one on one combat or fighting in a full scale war. I have a working knowledge of how to maintain a number of melee weapons.” Looking at my arms I clench my fists. “Yet these arms have never swung a sword or axe for any reason before coming here. That’s not even taking into account what else there may be but I don’t have the tools needed to test if I have those particular skills.” Sighing I look at the ground head hung, shoulders slumped. It felt good to say it out loud but at the same time I couldn’t even begin to wonder what she would think. *I doubt she even really cares.*

Silence reigns over the clearing not even the birds in the trees have anything to say about the subject. Even the gentle breeze that was blowing a moment ago has come to a standstill. I clench my fist as the silence continues.

“So?”

My head pops up eyes wide, I turn to look over at Amethyst.

“So what if some shit MIGHT happen? Who cares if you lose who you are right now to who you could become? That shit is all just ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’, you are here right now and that’s what matters right? A phrase you used earlier works really well here, ‘fuck it’.” Amethyst states, getting up and walking over “What does it matter if you lose yourself somewhere down the line, it’s not like it’s happening now. Deal with that shit later. Stop focusing on the future and focus on the here and now.” She walks to the tree, picks up a knife then she walks it over to me. “All that matters is this moment right here, not five years or even five minutes from now.”

Taking the knife from her I just stare at it. *Nothing else matters. Here and now. That’s all that’s important.* Looking up at the tree I throw the knife again. It bounces off butt first. Sighing at first a laugh starts to build in my stomach then comes tearing its way out.

“HAHA!!! Oh man!” Looking back at the other two I fall to the ground laughing.

“I think he just went off the deep end. Thanks Amethyst this all we need.” Mira rolls her eyes before facepalming.

“Hey all I did was provide a different perspective from him to look at. Him losing it like this is entirely on him.” She holds her hands up in defense

Taking a deep breath I wipe a tear from my eye. “Oh man I needed that. Thank you Amethyst.”

Both girls stare at me wondering what the hell that was all about. “So Walker feel like sharing with the class?” asks Mira a bit hesitantly.

“I just realized that even though I have been saying that this is a chance to reinvent myself, I have been worrying about no longer being me.” Chuckling I walk over to the tree picking up the throwing knives again. “I’ve been so worried that I might go crazy that I have been driving myself crazy.” Pulling my arm back I cut loose with a throwing knife burying the tip in the tree. Looking back at them with a smile, “I forgot rule number one; have fun.”

“Yet you have been joking almost this whole time.” Replies Amethyst confusion spreading from her to Mira.

“Yeah that’s because I thought that’s who I am but in reality” Looking up at the beautiful sky as it settles into night. “I’m just not like that. I don’t want to be the asshole that hides behind jokes because he can’t be honest with himself and those around him. I don’t want to be that…weak. I know it sounds …silly or something, but I just don’t think I have it in me to lie like that. It just seems wrong.” I look over at the girls with a smile on my face only to see both of them facepalming. “HEY!”

Both giggle at me, the bitches. “Walker that was very nice to hear, though you could have turned the dramatics down just a touch.” Mira says still getting her giggling under control.

Sighing I walk into the forest to grab some firewood.

“Oh come on Walker don’t be like that!” Amethyst shouts after me.

“Unless you feel like cooking the food with your firebreath, I need to get some wood to get the fire going again.” I call over my shoulder picking up bits of wood on the ground. "And also I hope the two of you step on a Lego."

Both girls roll their eyes then sit back down to continue whatever their conversation was before my freak out.

*Wonder where Mira plans on going next? It would be cool if we could go see Amethysts home. I doubt Mira would want to go there since dragons have some dealings with ponies*

“Hey Walker! I just talked your girlfriend into coming with me back home. I’m sure my grandfather will want to reward you for saving me.”

“I am not his girlfriend!” Mira practically screams while turning an interesting shade of green.

I assume the color change is from embarrassment but who the fuck cares. I’m about to see a shit ton more dragons. Hopefully they don’t think I am crunchy and good with ketchup.