Never alone

by MidnightInkpaw

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Sad, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 1802

Living through depression is hard. It's a battle between a body that fights to survive, and a mind that tries to die.

The Rainbow Dash they know is brash, confident and loyal, but when they're not in sight, another Rainbow takes control. That other Rainbow isn't all that confident, in fact, she has so less confidence in herself, she kills herself slowly everyday.

Little by little, the toys she plays with nibbles away her will to live along with her life as well until finally, her friends interrupt this routine.

Art does NOT belong to me.

Published 2017-01-10 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-10 05:20:01 UTC

Life is hard

Rainbow Dash rolled out of bed, she was a mess. Her mane was frazzled, eyes bloodshot and she looked like she had not preened herself in weeks, yet Rainbow didn't mind. She dragged her lifeless body to the kitchen to have her breakfast, or at least somewhat of a breakfast, and soon went over to the bathroom to wash up. Nothing out of the ordinary.

And if she was lucky, she and her friends wouldn't have to deal with some monster trying to take over Equestria. If it was just a normal day, they would go out on weekly picnics at different locations each time, including Sweet Apple Acres, under Dashs cloud house or maybe even at Ponyville Park. And if Dash was very lucky, she wouldn't be bothered and would stay at home with her favourite 'toy'.

Rainbow came out of the bathroom and prepared to go. Even if she wanted to stay at home, she still had to check if her friends were planning a party or something similar. She wouldn't want them to think something was up.

**The Friendship Castle**

Twilight Sparkle sat in the main hall, peacefully reading a book on aerodynamics to get some information on how to improve on her flying when she heard a knock on the door.

"Spike! Get the door please!" Twilight called out. "Spike?" Twilight called again and still, no answer. Then her memory reminded her that Spike was at Raritys to help her with gem hunting again. Twilight sighed as she got up from her couch and proceeded to open the door for whoever was there.

The door opened and she saw Rainbow Dash standing on the other side. "Oh, hi Rainbow!" Twilight said giddily. "What brings you here?"

"Hey Twi. I was just wondering if there was anything planned today." Rainbow said rather plainly which was not missed by Twilight.

"Are you feeling ok? You don't seem to be as enthusiastic as you're usually are." Twilight asked.

Dash mentally facehoofed. "Oh uhh, I'm fine really! I probably didn't sleep too well yesterday." She said smiling awkwardly, hoping Twilight wouldn't press on. Too bad for her, Twilight raised her eyebrow and asked again.

"Are you sure?"

"Oh come on, you think the most awesomest Rainbow Dash wouldn't be fine?" Rainbow bragged. She didn't want to but she knew she would be caught if she talked normally.

Twilight wasn't convinced but decided that she would get nothing if she pressed on since Dash was always stubborn when it came to showing her emotions. Twilight just nodded still looking suspiciously at Dash.

"Okay then. Well, I heard that a new pony came to town today, from Las Pegasus. I'm sure Pinkies already planning a party tonight, are you coming?" Twilight asked still watching Rainbow closely.

Dash thought for a moment. Well, she did give me a choice. I need a reason though."Nah, I think I'll rest tonight. You know, catch up on some sleep. I'm off duty for today so I won't need to work. Plus, you know how much I nap, right?" Rainbow smirked. Twilight caught it and her worries softened a little, but it didn't fully wash it away.

"Ok, I'll tell Pinkie you couldn't make it."

"Thanks Twi." Rainbow smiled warmly as she flew away.

Twilight retreated back into the castle still wondering what had made Rainbow less enthusiastic. Did something happen to her? I wonder why she refused to go to the party, well, other than the reason she gave. I need to find out. Twilight thought. Either something's wrong with her or I'm just overthinking things. Twilight sighed. I'll check on her tonight, just in case.

** Rainbows cloud house **

"Phew, alright, I got that sorted." Rainbow said to nopony in particular. She looked over at the drawer near her bed and sighed. "I can't keep this up forever can I? Twilights already suspicious of me."

Rainbow shifted her gaze to her left hoof. It had a few scars so straight that it could have only come from a sword or knife. She then looked at her closet and remembered what she kept behind those doors. No! I won't use that! At least, not yet. Rainbow thought as she fought the urge to use the item that laid in in the closet.

Rainbow walked towards the drawer and opened the one at the bottom, there were a couple of pill bottles but among them was a knife.

** Sugar Cube Corner ( 8:00 p.m.) **

Twilight walked inside Sugar Cube Corner where a party was being held for a new resident of Ponyville.

"Hi, Pinkie, how's the party going?" Twilight asked.

"Great! I'm sure the new pony's enjoying themselves!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Cake?" Pinkie asked as she offered a slice of cake in her hoof.

"No thank you, I just had pancakes."

Pinkie simply shrugged as she dug into the slice. "Ok fem. Buf if you wanf fome, if's on ve counfer." Pinkie said with her mouth full.

"Ok." Twilight said slowly. Why does she... oh nevermind.

"By the way, have you seen Dashie?"

"Oh, no I haven't, not since morning. She told me that she needed to rest since she slept quite late last night." Twilight explained. "I think I'm going to check on her now."

"Ok, come back soon!" Pinkie said as she waved at Twilight before devouring another cake slice twice as big as the first one she ate. Twilight just rolled her eyes as she flew into the night.

** Rainbows cloud house **

Rainbows room was a mess. Feathers were scattered around, most of the furniture was wrecked and there was even some blood that painted the walls and floors. Various medical supplies as painkillers littered the floor, and the most alarming thing in the room was Dash. Her wings bleeding heavily, both forehooves were wounded badly and she had a knife in one of them. Her vision was growing darker by the second. The last thing the heard was her living room door slamming open before passing out.

Twilight had burst through Rainbows bedroom door holding a note in her magic. Twilight gasped as she saw what state her friend was in and rushed towards her.

"Rainbow! Rainbow please wake up!" Twilight said, shaking her friend lightly. "Rainbow, come on please." Twilight said as her light shaking got more frantic. Rainbow didn't move and Twilight could only hear her heavy breathing.

Deciding that she won't get any answer, she quickly flew to the hospital as fast as her wings could take her as teleporting while panicking may not be the best idea. As she rushed out, she had accidentally left the note behind, it said:

Dear friends,

I knew you would come to check on me. But I would guess that Twilight would come here first. Anyway, by the time you are reading this, it would already be too late. You will find me in my bedroom if you do still care. I know I can't keep this up, my mask would just slip off from time to time showing how broken I really am. I'm sorry to say this but I have one final thing to do to finish off my story.

And if Fluttershy is reading this, please take care of Tank for me.

_______________________

Beep

Huh? Where am I? What's that sound?

Beep

Ugh, five more minutes.

Beep

Can it just stop! It's annoying! Wait, I've heard this sound.

Beep

Am I, in the hospital?

Dash tried to open her eyes a little but soon shut them tight because of the bright lights. She tried again to open them, everything was blurry. She did this repeatedly as things started to get clearer and she saw her friends standing at the bedsides.

"Dashie? You're awake! She's awake guys!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly.

"Shh, quiet darling, I don't think she likes it loud yet." Rarity scolded.

"Huh? What happened?" Dash asked. Everypony was quiet for a minute. "Well? Come on." That's was when Applejack spoke up.

"Twi here told us everything, she told us bout' you tryin tah comit suicide."

Now Rainbow remembered what happened and she turned her attention to the blanket on her bed. "Oh."

Everypony was silent again until finally, Twilight spoke up. "Why Rainbow? Why do you want to leave us? Are you uncomfortable with us?" Twilights voice was shaky. Rainbow looked up to see that she was crying. Rainbow thought negative again. She had caused that.

Rainbow looked back down sadly. "Because all I do is cause trouble." Rainbow sighed.

"What?! Now how in tarnation did ya think that?" Applejack gasped.

"I can think of a few reasons I mean, you guys had to go behind my back to teach me a lesson, twice."

"Really? How so?" Rarity asked.

Dash sighed again. "Remember the Mare Do Well incident? How about the time when you got the whole town to prank me back? I figured that you guys would hurt me that much only if I did the same to you. If I hurt you guys, only fair I did the same to myself. I think I'm loyalty, turns out I'm the opposite." Dash was nearly crying now, the rest of her friends noticed.

"Oh Rainbow Dash, it was our fault. We didn't think that what we were doing was hurting you." Fluttershy said, putting a comforting hoof on Rainbows shoulder.

"No, I was my actions to begin with. If I hadn't bragged so much, the whole Mare Do Well thing wouldn't have happened. And if I had just come up with better pranks, like the ones other ponies would enjoy, you guys could have avoided all the trouble to get the town to prank me back. So, that makes it my fault, for everything." Dash explained, still not looking at her friends or she could crack up any second.

"But that's it Dash, nopony's perfect. Not you or anypony, or even Celestia. We all make mistakes. And we made a bigger mistake than you." Fluttershy smiled with tears leaking from her eyes. Everypony else smiled.

Finally, Rainbow decided to look up, and instead of crying tears of sadness, it was tears of joy and happiness. It was something that Dash hadn't felt in a long time. Everytime she smiled, it was fake but now, she actually felt it.

For the first time in years, she didn't feel alone, she felt free.

Author's Note

Before any of you point it out in the comments, I know that 'awsomest' isn't a word. And I also know my build-up is bad at the beginning. :facehoof:

Now, I'm sorry for not writing one-shots with that many words but I really don't think I can write more. Sorry. :applejackunsure:

Yes, this is about my stupid life.