Principal's Office

Something pulled on the door and it flew open, making Alan stumble. Something hard collided with his face, causing his vision to blur. Someone shouted—he couldn’t tell who—and an arm wrapped tightly against his throat. Not enough that he couldn’t breath, but enough to hurt. And something hard dug into his skull.

“Don’t move! And you two, drop your crap and keep your hands up!” A voice shouted, right next to his ear.

Alan’s vision cleared and he found himself in a dimly lit office. If he had to hazard a guess he’d say it was Cinch’s. Sunset and Flash had their eyes wide and hands help up in the doorway. Flash’s books were dumped onto the floor.

“Whoa, whoa! Take it easy man,” Flash said, as if he were talking to a crazed animal.

“Alan!” Alan’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of that voice. Over to his right, tucked away in the corner of the room, was Caramella. She banged her hooves on the bars of her dog cage. “Let him go!”

“Caramella!” Alan struggled against the man’s grasp. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here!” Even as he said those words, he was having a hard time believing it.

“All of you, shut the fuck up! Right now!” The man’s grip tightened and he dug the object into Alan’s skull—which Alan knew was a gun, in all likelihood. He’d been around enough country folks to recognize the feel of one, just not so... intimately.

“Now, I don’t care who the hell you two are.” He gestured towards Sunset and Flash. “But this guy here, in my hands, we have some catching up to do. Isn’t that right, buddy. You remember me, don’t you, Alan.”

“I have... no fucking clue who you are!”

“What!?”

“You’ve kidnapped my friend, you’ve wrecked my car, you have a gun to my head. Why the hell would I know you?”

“Yeah, don’t listen to him, Alan! This guy’s been trying to ask me questions about you for the past hour!” Caramella shouted.

“You! Shut up, you freak!” The man started moving backwards, forcing Alan to move with him. “C’mon Alan, you don’t remember your old pal Cooper, don’t you?”

Cooper... the name bounced around Alan’s skull like a pinball. Cooper, Cooper, Cooper... and then something clicked, like a puzzle piece slipping right into place. Now he remembered. But just to make sure, Alan turned his head just enough to make out the face of his capturer without his winter hat on.

“Cooper?” Alan asked.

“Of course, you idiot! Now you’re getting it.”

“H-huh? You do know this guy?” Caramella ceased her banging, one ear drooping low in confusion. “Alan?”

“Yeah, now I remember... This guy here, Cooper, he and I used to be friends—”

“Emphasis on the used to,” Cooper said. “Alan here decided that once we entered high school he wanted nothing to do with me! He tossed me aside like trash!” They bumped into something, probably a desk.

“That’s a crock of shit and you know it!” Alan spat. “You’re the one who became an arrogant ass. Always found a way to make everything about yourself, always found a way to rub it in somebody else's face. Complained whenever something didn’t go your way. So yeah, no way in hell I was going to continue being your friend—you forgot the concept. And then you moved away not even three months into freshman year!”

Cooper sneered. “At least I made something of myself. I moved out here to Canterlot, got an education at this very school. Eventually I became a PI for the rich folk in this town. And you? Well, considering you’re driving your dad’s old clunker, I don’t think you’ve done very well for yourself. Tell me, your mother and father still drinking themselves silly every weekend? Don't think I never noticed that."

“Cooper!” Alan roared, struggling even harder. The cool feel of metal pressed onto his temple made him go still.

“Well, at least Alan isn’t some lapdog for Cinch!” Flash yelled. He looked downright terrified, but Alan saw determination in his eyes. “Besides, you can’t kill him. For one, I bet Cinch wouldn’t like that very much. Might take away your peanuts. And two, I bet you don’t even have the guts for it.”

Sunset’s eyes kept darting from Caramella to Alan, worry clearly etched onto her face. With her magic out of commission though there wasn’t much she could do.
Cooper shifted his gaze onto Flash. “Eh, you’re right. Cinch wouldn’t like it if things got messy. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I claimed self-defense. After all, I’m not the ones trespassing here.”

“You’re a psychopath,” Sunset spat. “What’s your deal in all of this? Money? Fame? Are those worth another persons' life to you?"

“A little bit of column A, and a little bit of column B too, I suppose. But now, what I really want is a quick ticket to the FBI.” Cooper bore a malicious grin. “Cinch had me keep an eye on you and your friends, told me you guys had some freaky alien powers as well. Magic, she said. Whatever the case, I think once I’m done rubbing elbows with the feds I’ll come back and book you and your friends asses straight to Area Fifty-One. That’s where freaks like you deserve to go,” he sneered.

“Do you honestly think Cinch can get you into a government position?!” Sunset asked. “She’s the principal of a private high school, not a miracle worker! If you’ve really bought into that you’re delusional!”

“Quiet! It doesn’t matter what Cinch is capable of or not. It won’t matter tomorrow when I'm declared the founder of alien life here on our own planet. The sway that’ll have... I could go anywhere! Do anything! So, now all of us are gonna sit here until Cinch gets back. You guys make any sudden moves, and Alan here gets a new hole in his head.”

Alan silently cursed. Dammit, he’d not only gotten himself into a life or death situation, but he’d managed to drag kids (more or less, in Sunset’s case) into his mess as well. Sunset was spent on magic and Flash couldn’t do anything, not unless he wanted Alan dead.

Caramella was shaking. Her large blue eyes stared up at him in fright. Of all the thoughts swirling around in his mind, adorable was the first to crawl its way up and shine through the fear. It was then that Alan knew what he had to do. It was the thing he’d promised to himself; he was going to get Caramella home one way or another. She had a family to return to, he didn’t. For their sake, anything was worth the risk. It was with a laugh that Alan sprung his idea into motion, wearing a grin like an idiot.

“H-hey, Cooper.” Alan struggled to look the man in the eye. “You know what?”

“What?”

Cooper hadn’t bothered to restrain his arms; he probably wasn’t counting on Alan to try and escape. “It’s a shame, really. While you were yapping away you forgot to take our fourth member of the rescue party into account.” Alan ignored the looks Sunset and Flash were giving him, focused only on the next thing out of his mouth. “You see, in their land there’s four types of ponies. Earth, Unicorn, Pegasi, and Alicorns.”

“I don’t want to hear any more freaky stuff about where it came from. Besides, I can see there’s only three of you.”

Alan laughed, a hearty laugh that caused Cooper’s expression to falter. “You don’t get it do you? They’re magical, idiot. Alicorns can fly and turn invisible! I’ve seen it happen! And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll let us go before she gets the drop on you!”

“That’s a lie. You’re lying.”

“Oh yeah? If you’re so confident then don’t look up. It'll make Twilight's job a hell of a lot easier,” Alan said with all of the confidence he could muster. He waited. He tensed. For a moment he thought Cooper would call his bluff...

Cooper looked up.

Alan thrust his hand up and pushed the gun away from his head, but not before it discharged. Pain erupted in his right ear, the world rung. Despite the pain, Alan thrusted his elbow into Cooper’s gut, using the opportunity to turn around and grapple for the gun himself. “Get Caramella out of here!” Alan kept the gun skyward, but doing so also made it hard to take away from Cooper.

Cooper snarled, and flung himself backwards onto the desk. Alan was thrown over it, losing his grip on Cooper. He got to his feet just in time to see Cooper take aim at Sunset trying to fiddle with the cage. Then a book came flying through the door and knocked the gun out of Cooper’s hands.

“Hell yeah! Hope that stung!” Flash rushed forwards and slammed the other book into Cooper’s gut before he scooped up the gun on the floor, switching the safety on, and stuffing it into his coat.

Cooper grunted and tried to get up, but Alan was having none of that. “Oh no you don’t!” He took out the gauze and vaulted over the desk, slamming his foot into Cooper’s back, causing him to stumble onto the floor. While straddling Cooper’s back, Alan held his hands behind him and tied a large swath of gauze around them in a knot.

Alan stood up and dusted his hands off as he took a long breath. “Asshole,” he muttered.

Like an oversized cockroach, Cooper started to writhe on the floor. “Arrrrrrrugh!” He twisted and turned, then he spat on Alan’s shoes.

“Oh, ew. Gross.”

“When I get out of here I’m going to find you Alan, and wh—” Before he could finish that sentence, a chocolate-colored hoof slammed into his face, knocking him out. “Hggggrkkk.”

Caramella shook her hoof. “Owie,” she murmured. Then, noticing the stares she was getting, she blushed. “What? I had to listen to that guy for hour. I was itching to do that the whole time.” Caramella’s blush faded away as she narrowed her eyes onto Alan.

“Caramella, I—”

The mare launched herself into Alan. She knocked him down onto the floor, slamming her hooves onto his chest over and over as tears threatened to spill. “You—you idiot! Gah! Stupid—you’re so freaking stupid! Snnnrt. Y-you could’ve died!” The blows slowed before eventually stopping, and she sniffed. “W-what were you thinking!”

Alan fidgeted. “I—uh, well...”

“Yeah, dude!” Flash looked hurt. “Were you trying to get yourself killed?!”

“What you did was so monumentally stupid! You’re lucky to be alive after the shit you just pulled!” Sunset exclaimed, twirling strands of her fiery hair anxiously.

“I was just...” Alan sighed. “Look, we’re all alright, aren’t we?” Just as he said this the pain in his ear flared up, he cupped his hand over it and hissed. “More or less. You guys are alright, and that's the most important thing here." He sighed. "It was just a spur of the moment thing... a stupid thing, I’ll agree. But it saved her, didn’t it?”

Wiping her eyes with her hoof, Caramella sobbed. “Never do that again! Not for me or anybody else! It’s not worth you dying!” Her voice hitched, and she buried herself into Alan’s chest, hugging him so tight that he could hardly breath. Alan lifted both of them into a sitting position and returned the hug, one of his hands stroking her mane while he whispered apologies into the shaking mare's ear.