Displaced Deadpool

by GhostRider666

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Crossover, Sex
Length: 1625

Sooooo.... the displaced Deadpool in Equestria..... do i have to say anything else?

Hey, hey you! Yeah, you, the assholish reader who wants to read a good-ass story! Well, you came on right place! My name is David Smith and one night, i saw a falling star. I wished to feel how it is to be my favorite anti-hero, the mothafucking Deadpool (but i still wanted to keep my awesome look)! My wish somehow got true and i was thrown in anthro MLP world as Deadpool! Now i have awesome looks, regeneration, knowledge of many martial arts and how to use any weapon i come across and awesome agility. The best thing? Eighty-five per cent of this world are mares with big tities and rears!

P.S.- Celestia's butt and tities are the best!

Published 2016-12-29 22:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-29 22:10:02 UTC

World of big titied mares.

"Where in the fucking hell am i?" i asked myself as i rubbed my head. The last thing i remember was making a wish and then i blacked out. I looked around and saw i was in some kind of park. Few trees making a perfect spot for getting laid, few benches and some grass and walking path. It wasn't really Central Park, but it surely was a decent park. Then, i noticed i wasn't wearing my jacked, shirt, jeans and snickers i had before i blacked out. I was wearing now black and red costume and OH MY GOD!!! On my belt was Deadpool's symbol! I had his swords on my back and his desert eagles on my tights! But- OOOOOOOOOHHHHH my god! There's his mask on the ground.

That was it.

Awesome overload.

I fell to my knees and with huuuuuge respect, i picked the mask up. I then brought it to my cheek and rubbed it all over it. My eyes rolled on the back of my head and a satisfactory grin broke on my face. And then pieces slowly fell together. Suddely blackening out when i made my Deadpool wish and then waking up where-ever i was now with Deadpool's get up, guns and swords.

Maybe i even have his healing factor.

To see is that true, i pulled out one of my swords and stabbed myself in my tight. I expected to feel teribble pain, but i actually felt nothing. Pulling out the sword, i saw my wound closing in a matter of seconds. That was it. Again. I blacked out. Again.

Few hours later:

I slowly started opening my eyes. The first thing i noticed was that i was in a room of some sorts. It looked like a hospital, judging by white curtains.

"Oh, you're awake!" i heard a female voice next to my bed. I turned my head to see who was talking to me and i wasn't expecting to see this. It was a nurse, however, she didn't look like a human being. She looked like some horse-human hybrid. She had a white fur on her body, long light brow hair which reached to her lower back, a tail of the same color, a muzzle and... a picture of heart which had an EKG line in it. She wore a tight white clothing to cover her body. I could clearly see her big, heavenly, juicy boobs looking like they are about to pop out of her clothing.

"Ehem." she cleared her throat when she noticed me starting. Damn, i was having a good time, but everything nice ends quickly.

"Well, then, good afternoon, sir. My name is nurse Heartbeat. May i know who and what you are, sir?" she asked politely, throwing aside the fact that i have stared at her big, heavenly, juic- damn, i'm doing it again!

"Pool. Deadpool." i introduced myself with a grin. She wrote something down on a notepad.

"Okay, mr Pool, can you tell me what species are you?"

"I'm a human, miss Heartbeat." i answered, trying to be polite. I know i can't get any lady if i keep staring at their super curves (which doesn't mean i won't do it anymore).

"What's a human?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

After explaining what human is (tp save some time):

"Wow. Just, wow." Heartbeat said in disbelief. I think i broke her. Damn, i knew i shouldn't have told her how big Niggas are.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, baby! Now, could you please tell me where my things are?" i asked her as i noticed i was in hospital clothes. She snapped out of her trance and pointed her finger at one corner. There lied my costume, guns, swords and my magical satchel with infinite amount of ammo and weaponry. I thanked her and went to dress up.

After i put everything up, i was only left to put on the mask. With the greatest of respect, i put the mask on.

"Don't worry, real Deadpool. I'll be sure to live to your reputation." i promised to myself. Then i decided to leave. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the main hall.

It was full of a female ponies with various injuries.

"Arr, nice eye-patch, Captain Sarah!" I shouted to a young woman who probably had had an eye surgery.

"You look sexy in a wheelchair, Gwen." I shouted to an invalid girl.

"Don't worry, Laurie, i know how it feels to have incurable cancer!" I shouted at a bald woman. Then, i found a big door which were probably leading outside. With a sigh, i opened them.

...Only to be greeted with dozen of spears pointed at me.

A group of a guys dressed like knights from 15th century were giving me glares and pointed their spears at me from every side. I also noticed some of them had horns on their heads and some of them wings on their backs.

"Yo, guys! I know what are you thinking. Who te hell is this guy dressed in total badass suit and doesn't look like one of us? Well, my name is Deadpool, the most awesome guy you're gonna see in your entire lives! Now-"

"Silence, foul creature! We do not need to know what you are. We are Queen Sun Burn's best guards and we are here to take you to them." said one guard. However, he was dressed in a purple armor while others were dressed in a golden armor.

"Must be their boss." I thought.

"Hand over your weapons." he said, pointing his spear at me. He probably expected me to be intimidated and i would be if I was still an ordinary guy, but now, I'm mothafucking Deadpool!

"*tsssssssssssssssk* Sorry, not gonna happen." I finally announced.

"Guards, attack!" the guy cried out and the armored assholes lunged at me. However, I used my teleportation device and teleported somewhere aside, causing several guards to impale their comrades on their spears. They looked shocked at what just happened, but quickly recovered.

"Watch out, lads. It isn't unicorn, yet it know how to use magic." the boss said.

"You're wrong, purple cum. This is not magic, this is science." I explained and aimed my guns at them. Apparently i also got Deadpool's knowledge about guns, martial arts and his super agility.

With great ease, i shot two head shots at the assholes. I had the time of my life there while i was having shooting at these "guards". Honestly, they are the worst kind of guards i've ever seen. Poorly trained, poorly armored, with poor weapons, it was actually quite a proof that this land wasn't in war for a looooong time and maybe even criminal is extremely low.

So I kept shooting at them until only their boss left. He was obviously terrified of me, seeing how i slaughtered his comrades without any mercy.

"Well, boss, looks like you're the only one left." I announced as i aimed my gun at him. He knew he couldn't escape my bullet, so he didn't run and stayed where he is, closing his eyes. I pulled the trigger.

Click, click

Damn, i was out of bullets. He noticed that he wasn't dead yet and opened his eyes. He smirked at my failed attempt to blow his brain out.

"It looks like you are out of your Tirek's projectiles. Now, i can finally bring you the the King and Queen so they can put you into the dungeon for commiting ruthless murders of-" I cut in.

"Okay, okay, i understand! But you are gravely mistaken if you think I only use guns to blow up people's balls." I said and drew my katanas. He narrowed his eyes and drew his own sword.

We started slowly circled around each other, trying to exploit each other's weaknesses.

"Oh, fuck this shit." I lunged at him, bringing my katanas down at him. He managed to block my attack. I then pushed himbackwards with my knee. He briefly lost his balance and made an opening which i used to delieved a light wound in his side. He managed to parry before i could deliever any other injury to him and pushed me aside.

I quickly turned around to see him holding his wound. He then looked at his blood covered hand and growled at me.

"I only wanted to incapacitate you, but it looks like i'll have to bring you to the castle in shape of a corpse!" he lashed at me and, taking me by surprise because of his great speed, he plunged his sword in my chest. I slowly looked down at my chest and dropped my left katana. I slowly gripped the hilt with my left hand and looked at the asshole's grinning face.

"I... can't.... believe..." his grin grew even wider. It vanished, however, when he felt sharp pain in his stomach. He looked down and saw my katana sticking out of it.

"I can't believe that you fell for that!" I laughed as a maniac as i slowly pulled the sword out of my chest. I then looked down at the dying asshole.

"Do you want to know why you lost? BECAUSE I'M MOTHAFUCKING DEADPOOL, BITCH!" i raised my right hand.

"I cannot be killed by a simple means such as-" i stopped when i felt something soft on the back of my raised hand. I touched it and gripped it, hearing something which sounded like surprised gasp.

"Mommy?" I turned around. The last thing i remeber before i was knocked out was pissed face of a blue guy with a crown on his fat head.