Very romantic novel

by Keriwi1

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1313

Best romantic novel of all times. Why? Because it has rule 63 ponies and Discord in it, of course.

Princess Eris is a true lady, who is tangled in a love triangle with two suitors. One of them is poor, but also the kind and romantic Butterscotch, and the other is lord of the night himself: prince Artemis — a stallion with darkness in his heart who is kind of hot too. Eris will have to decide who she loves best in true Harlequin novel fashion.
It's just silly parody of romantic novel.
I want to thank Doctor Sirus for help in editing.

Published 2017-03-19 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-19 12:40:01 UTC

She shall be mine!

The day Eris woke up with rose petals dripping down on her shoulders, her beautiful eyes shone as she saw the first rays of sunshine from her window, as Prince Solaris (~~the one with sun tattoo on his butt~~) probably woke up before her to start another day. She was looking like young goddess, since she in fact was a goddess. Just scratch the young part and maybe don’t associate begin goddess with word ‘pretty’ and you’ll be fine. But, you know, for your information, many stallions like her curves snake, horse, goat, dragon, bat, bird, lion and who knows what else, body!

In fact, she have two suitors who just so happened to come across one another right next to her door. Since, you know, such thing happend to her, all the time, so don’t be rude. Eris was is just great, and she is a true lady, as you will see. She even cleaned herself twice a month if you don’t belive how lady like she was. Truely a princess at her finest.

So, let's get to the point, shall we?

Our well-established, beautiful lady woke up… rose petals— yaddi yaddi yadda— who cares… while birds were singing on a tree, don’t ask, I don’t know how that tree end up in her bedroom.

She delicately opened curtains and smiled at the sight of ~~hungry timberwolves ripping off meat from the bones of their prey… wait, that does not fit… she smiled at the sightsite of~~ sweet, little deer who eat flowers and carrots and other boring as buck things like that.

The deer opened their big, shining eyes, winked, and jumped off the cliff, because, who really wants to read about deers when this story can be about ~~Disc~~… Eris.?

Ah, yes, she woke up, and then she heard some knocking at her door. Who could it be at this early hour?

As it turns out, it was her true love, who she love dearly because he was so loveable. Butterscotch was a shy, timid short pegasis with a romantic soul. His light yellow coat and short but nicely done pink mane shined in morning sun (okay, what's up with all that shining, are they all radioactive, or something?! Damn it!).

Eris snapped her fingers and appeared before her lover in a dress so fine that it would make that stupid Celes… Solaris jealous. You know, the same Solaris, who said to him that he can’t go to the Grand Galloping Gala in a dress because children were watching!… I mean Solaris told that all to her! Her!

Anyway, the dress was so perfect, so fancy, and so radiant green in color that did not match anything. And she had this big red bow that Butterscotch gave her.

Butterscotch took her paw and was about to say that he would be honored to be with such a beautiful draconequus as she, since she is beautiful, and stuff. And he had a bouquet of roses for her and love poems and asked if she will be so nice as to let him have her paw in marriage. But Butterscotch knew that he was just a commoner, and she was such lady and in fact a princess and a goddess, so society could tear them apart., His chances to be with Eris were low, but they are my OTP so maybe chances were high., (Note: Don’t know for sure, still thinking on ending).

But I like him so far, so I think I will go with it.

And then from the sky flies another stallion. He was super duper handsome and mysterious: the dark in heart Prince Artemis.

“Leave my fiancée alone, you fool!” he yelled in his Canterlot voice.

Yes, in fact, our Eris, who is a lady, was also engaged to other stallion, who happens to be a prince of Equestria, because I say so. Shut up.

He was a dark blue and black alicorn, and prince of the night. You know, like those teenage vampires but with actual authority, since he was from a royal family. And he often watched her when she was sleeping, so it’s gives him extra points, I guess?

Butterscotch flew from the ground (wait since when they were in the garden? Why Eris don’t let him in to the home?) to face Artemis.

Eris gasped, and looked on as they both gave each other manly glares. She was not sure if they were going to be fighting to decide who was worthy of her, but she was ready to bring some popcorn, if they did.

“Eris may be yours since law bind her to you, but you forced her to be with you! Her heart belongs only to me!”

Butterscotch puffed his chest out, with fire burning in his eyes. That was unusual, since he was the romantic, shy type, and not action type.

“I don’t care what her heart desires if her perfect body will be mine in our bed chamber!”

Artemis giggled and forcefully pressed his hot lips to Eris’, She blushed defencelessly and beat against his manly chest

Butterscotch pushed him over and started hugging and petting our Eris as she cried. She was shaking, but the yellow pegasus didn’t know that she was crying with tears of guilt at having enjoyed that passionate kiss.

Butterscotch patted her cheek and kiss her lips, in much more tender manner. Their love was very pure and innocent, and other synonyms for the word ‘pure’. I don’t know ‘unadulterated?

Full of rage over what he saw, Artemis took a paw of Eris’ and pulled her over.

“You may think that this is the purest creature of all time, since she is so good, and over all fantastic, but what you don’t know ist that she carries my baby and soon will give birth.”

Eris was scared and she pressed her claw to her forehead with a dramatic pose.

Tears appeared in corners of her eyes and she yelled,:

“You never told me that I’m pregnant with your child!”

“Now you know—, forgive me, my beloved, but I wasn’t sure how would you react if I told you. But it’s nine months already and you should be prepared.

Prince Artemis was content with surprising everypony with that information, but Butterscotch decided that he wouldn’t lose the love of his life so easily.

“That baby may be yours, Artemis,” he said, “but I love her so much, that I’m willing to marry her and become her child’s stepfather!”

“Listen to me, peasant:, that draconequus is royal blood, and she will marry a prince!”

Butterscotch turned his head to Eris and spoke softly,:

“Now, you choose, my dearest. Who do you choose, Eris?”

They both took her paw and claw and gave her rings, both beautiful and shiny.

“Yes, who do you choose, Eris?” added Artemis

But Eris was not sure herself. She realised that she was in love with both of them and she was thinking about it, and thinking, and thinking… and eventually she shouted,:

“I choose…”

“Dad, what are you writing?”

A little filly entered the room. Her coat was purple and her eyes were like lollipops. She looked
at the computer screen on her father’s desk but he quickly turn it off.

“Nothing, honey,.” Discord giggled a bit nervously.

“You know dad, I heard that Kunegunga Ihatesunbutt will release her new novel soon,.”

Screwball said.

“She will? Wait,… you know her novels!?”

“They are hilarious, dad.”

“Hilarious!? They are very romantic! You have no taste in books! And you are way too young for Kunegunda’s masterpieces!”

Screwball only raised her eyebrow at thatis statement in hope that her dad’s new novel will be as stupid and funny as the last one.

Author's Note

I hope you all like it. Man, that was fun to write.