"Prince Blueblood, it is with a heavy heart and irrefutable evidence for your crimes, I hereby declare you banished from Equestria for six months. If you return before your sentence has ended, you shall be killed on sight. Do I make myself clear?" Aunty said from her throne, looking down upon me. Me! How dare she?! I had done nothing wrong, it was within my rights. I paid that lawyer more than he is worth.
"B-but aunty-" I stammer before I am once again interrupted.
"You have been stripped of your title and all lands in your name. You shall be banished with naught but the clothes on your back," Aunty once again sighed before looking back to me.
"Get out of my sight, guards take him away." She shouted, whilst I'm being handled ruffly by the common guard, bah, their filth will take ages to get out of my coat, I'm quite sure aunty is tied up with that wench, and can not do anything about my case, I assume she must be sending me to the highlands, I was once asked to go there as a guest, but I refused as I heard that they eat raw grass there, disgraceful, but I guess it must do, of course, she will put me in the highest quality hotel they have there until my time is up.
"Unhand me filth, I shall escort myself out, I need not be handle like a foal." I shall not be disrespected, I still have my pride. I wonder what the hotel shall be like, hmm, I shall write a review after my half a year vacation.
"How much longer commoner, we have been flying for hours, surely it does not take this long to reach the highlands, you incompetent Buffon," naturally they huff and look away, unable to look upon my glorious face, less they see their own stupidity, unable to fly in the right direction, I have seen nowt but rocks for the last three hours.
"Shut up back there." replies the guard sitting to the right of me.
"How dare you.. you ungrateful troll, you have the audacity to even speak to me as such, why I'd never, I grace you with my presence and patience yet you spit all over it, bah I shall no longer speak to such a fool," that should teach him, hmpf.
"ugh we shall be there soon, quite your complaining." the guard to my left speaks up for his inferior companion.
"better, next time reply with that, then perhaps you will move up in the world, perhaps you will be polishing hooves soon instead of standing there," The guards look at me, obviously stunned by my genius advice, their jaws unable to close at my magnificence.
"We are here, Blueblood."
I look up from my set to the side of the carriage as the flier has opened the door, that is not the problem the problem comes from the fact that he had the audacity to address me without my title.
"Prince Blueblood welp, but I am feeling generous so I shall pretend I never heard you, no no need to thank me," ah once again there is that stunned expression my show of generosity has no doubt stunned there lesser intellect as I stride over to the side of the hotel waiting for the butler to address my needs...
"What, where is the butler, better yet where is the hotel, all i see is rocks and sand, guards, where are we, you must have taken the wrong turn and become lost once again, no wonder it took this long to get to the highlands hotel, you are all obviously so stupid that you have yet to learn how to read a map, i shall not stand for such incompetence, take me to the highlands this time not a bloody desert,"
that should set things straight, no wonder that changling filth managed to infiltrate the capital, with guards this incompetent," I stomp back to the door, the heat of the sunstroke land slightly burning my hooves.
"Well, I'm waiting open the door."
"You have been BANISHED Blueblood, what did you expect a fancy resort, breakfast in bed, and servants to do as you wish, Princess Celestia has had enough of your crimes, Your illegal activities have finally caught up to you, I hope you know enough about the wilderness not to eat poison joke. Actually, that was a lie." The main guard stated to me, Obviously, a poor attempt at humor, that wench had it coming, she dared refuse my advances, I thought she was playing hard to get, obviously not, though she changed her mind quick when her son was in mind.
"Your poor attempt at humor is flattering but you should stick to watching doors," I reply
"Now, open the carriage door, take me to the highlands, and maybe I won't have aunty banish you." Bah, incompetent foals.
Suddenly I can hear a snickering, which turns into full blown laughter.
"What is so funny," Must be some commoner inside joke, more than likely lewd in context.
"You really are stupid aren't you, This isn't a joke, you have been banished from Equestria, for the rape of widow heart, and many other crimes, including but not limited to, tax evasion, bit fraud, identity theft, multiple accounts of bribery of royal guard, and destruction of private property. Have fun out here, I hope to never see your face again." with that he hooked himself up to the harness, as the other guards got in the carriage than without another word, they left.
I sat there to look at the spot they left at for who knows how long, I still was my tux, but the wind has blown enough dust to make it a light brownish color.
"B-banished, b-but that's not fair, it- It's all that Celestia Damned wenches fault, if I ever see her again, it shall be a cold day in Tartarus that she shall be trotting ever again." I look back to the sky, night time will be arriving soon, aunty surely does not know about this, the guards must have something against me, when I get back to Equestria they will most deferentially be punished.
I stand up as the sandy lands of what I assume to be the badlands surround me, I pull out my water canteen from my tuxedo pocket and drink eagerly, once I put the canteen back in my pocket a scroll appears in front of me with a flash of golden magic.
"Ah, aunt must not have received word of my arrival at the hotel, she must have sent an apology and word that a carriage with guards that will take me th-" I stop halfway through my sentence as I read the scroll
Dear Blueblood ~~Banished Prince of equestria~~
The enchantment that surrounds your flower has listened in on your rambling conversation with the sandy desert around you, as such I thought it best if I explain exactly what happened
YOU HAVE BEEN BANISHED
I assure you this is no joke, I have been mindful of your activities in the past believing that you will either confess to me or learn from a mistake, but you had done neither I overlook most of your activities as your bloodline falls back to princess platinum, but this crime I cannot overlook, I find it quite perplexing how you managed to hide almost all of your criminal activities from prying eyes.
Once again, this is no joke or compromise, to further the claim of truth in this letter my royal seal is at the bottom.
YOU HAVE BEEN BANISHED
Sincerely Princess Celestia of Equestria.
All I could speak is but one word...
"w- what."
Author's Note
Hope you like this idea, have fun and what not, and lets hope my grammar has improved as this has not been through any editors yet.
The feel of a light sting wakes bluebooks from his resting spot. He had claimed a rock and used it to shelter himself from the high winds and blinding sun, though, the pelting of sand against his coat had roused him from a restless sleep. Bluebloods eyes open to be greeted with nothing but yellow sand and crimson rocks.
"It... It wasn't a nightmare, my auntie really has been mind controlled. No doubt the work of those disgusting bugs, I mean she wouldn't ever b-banish a colt she raised herself... Right?" Bluebooks asked his shadow as his pride controlled his thought process.
As bluebooks rose from his spot, sand falls off of his now ruined white tuxedo. He takes another small gulp of water from his pocket flask. Pulling out his compass he watched the needle and speculated that due to the location he is in the closest settlement would be the Griffin Empire.
"Hmpf, If I must deal with overgrown chickens to return my auntie to her mind then I shall sacrifice my dignity and allow Griffin's to serve my royal self," Bluebooks said to convince himself as he walked towards what he assumed was the Griffin Empire.
The hoof prints he made would become invisible within minutes of creation due to the swirling wind, light enough that it wouldn't send sand at a speed to hurt or become hazardous yet, strong enough that it would shift the sands to remove any tracks.
"This is unbefitting of a Prince, such tyranny will not pay off, I shall remove the filth from my aunties mind. Bugs or no," Bluebooks said with determination, his inability to see the crimes he committed prevailing.
Moving through a desert is deadly to those that have no knowledge of the land, luckily Blueblood's talent involves locating things, given his lifestyle he never used it so much, so it wasn't a surprise to find out that his assumption that he was near the griffons empire was incorrect, instead he simply wondered until he passed out, he was unable to ration the water for long and now he lay's on dry cracked ground, the blistering gaze of his aunty's sun still looming over him.
Now a lone figure approaches the former prince, a reflective band around their hoof as the figure propped the banished pony on their back before walking back the way they came.
All blueblood could see was darkness before him, and the whispers of his mind, he was never sure what to do until he thought things over, but that was a long time ago. Soon the darkness faded as he opened his eyes to that of a sandstone roof, and the afternoon sun streaming through the window, sitting up he found himself on a makeshift bed with a scratchy blanket woven from some type of grass. there was a small wooden bedside table to his left with a clay bowl with water in it.
Without thinking he reached with his magic and brought the bowl over, sitting himself up he drank as fast as he could until his thirst was quenched, not even realizing that the water was tinted a light blue. Once finished he placed the bowl back on the shelf and inspected his surroundings. A 'humble' as some ponies would put it, room was what he found, made out of sandstone, one window to his left but no glass just a hole in the wall large enough to squeeze through, aside from the bed and table there was nothing else, a fact that stupified him, how anyone could live with this was insane to him.
Getting off the bed and stretching he suddenly felt ill, he dry-heaved, thinking fast he pulled the bowl back to his face and vomited a black sludge that had a vague magic aura around it. Disgusted by it he shoved the bowl under the weak frame of the bed before he opened the wooden door and left the room.
"Ahh, I see you have awoken. Please sit, tell me young one, why did I find you, face first in the wastes. Looking at your apparel I would have assumed you would be well off, and not forgotten in these wastelands." an old Zebra mare, leaning on a rickety staff held in front of her said, Blueblood was about to reply but he lost his voice once he saw her eyes. Whiter than snow and yet still they held an air of wisdom... Blueblood was not wise enough to notice, only believing her to be blind.
"You, blind mare. Tell me what is this place." Blueblood's demanding tone caught the mare off-guard before she chuckled and leaned forward on her staff.
"Ahh, I now see why we found you out here. Come, sit tell me all about how dreadful the world has treated you, I'll listen." The older mare turned and hobbled to a well-used rocking chair.
"Fine, I might as well indulge you with my story. Besides, it's not like you'd know anything about what I've been through." Bluebloods with his mind sharp as ever, made his way to the only other chair in the room and sat down and put his hooves on the table.
"Well, it must have started after the invasion of canterlot, it was invaded by those mind eating parasitic insects-"
"And then the guards, which mind you are dumber than a rock, left me out here. And that's how I ended up here." Blueblood recounted, not realizing that the mare he was talking to was in fact quite asleep and snoring really loud.
"Eh what- I'm awake I swear. Oh, that's right, now I know what you've been through is tough Mr.Blueblood."
The mare was cutoff when Blueblood interjected.
"That's Prince Blueblood." the old mare continued
"That's nice dear, but out here your not, now let me continue."
"Excuse me, I am Prince of Equestria and I demand to be noticed as such." Blueblood practically screamed at the old mare, before throwing a rock at her with his magic. only to notice that she moved her staff about three inches to the left and when the stone hit she nudged her staff to the right and then deflected the rock back into his face.
"GAhh, How did you do that you wench," Blueblood shouted, his nose dripping a few drops of blood as he held his hoof to his nose to stop the bleeding.
"I may be unable to see with my eyes, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the world, Mr.Blueblood, I'm also a have little to do, and I made a vow to look after all who lose their way, so it looks like you're stuck with me now, unless you want to go back out to that wasteland.
"I would much rather the wasteland that then your horrid company," Blueblood then got up from his chair and made for the door.
"Good luck out there, and here take this, I did you a favor and filled it back up for you." the kindly mare offered him his flask, now no longer empty. Blueblood simply snatched the bottle back and stuck it in his now completely ruined tux, before he opened the door and left the old mare alone in her home.
Author's Note
Blueblood is dumber than most but knows a few fancy words and such... not a good 'people person' per say.
sorry about my chapters always being so short, I know how annoying that can be.
