Author's Note
Just emphasizing again: Unofficial. Not at all sanctioned by Fuzzy. Not quite canon-compliant, although effort has been made to be as close as possible.
Now, back to your regularly-scheduled Murkity sap...
Choices
Tonight is not going how I had planned.
I had hoped that at this point we'd both be on our way to Friendship City, trotting down the old highways as free ponies. Standing together in the ruins of an office in Fillydelphia was not what I had in mind. The cool night wind blows through the broken window, dancing through my mane, and I reach out my hoof to touch yours. You're trying to be stoic, but I can feel you shaking.
The way you stare out at the city is strange - like you never expect to see any of it again. I don't think it's much of a view anyway; two small office buildings much like the one we're presently hiding in, a little plaza, and in the distance...
That place.
It's hard to think about it. On one hoof, it's the place I met you... my little broken pegasus... and got to know you. The place where we made our break for freedom. The place where... well, where it's all going to end. We're going to walk up to the office of Aurora Star, who I guess used to work there, and wipe our memories of each other.
Or do we have to?
"Murky?" I whisper. "Do we have to do this?"
You turn to face me, and look into my eyes for just a moment... then glance away. "You know neither of us can fight each other," you say quietly, with steel in your voice. "And if we don't... we both die. Me and... and you." I walk toward you, nuzzle you, and glance out at the MAS facility waiting for us. Grindstone's in there. So is Aurora Star's machine. Twenty-four hours from now, one of us will be dead, and the other won't remember why it matters...
And I know full well which one of us that will be. There's no way you can fight and win in the Pit. Not against the raiders and scum that will likely be mixed in, and not against me. I'm bigger than you, I'm a unicorn, and that cough has really been worrying me. You'll be gone, and I'll be left with a hole in my heart and a blur in my memories - or I'll lose my fight and be dead with you.
Have I mentioned I don't like this plan?
It was Hearthswarming - two years ago, I think. It was a few months after I had met you, and we were both living at the MAS. It wasn't like we got any days off of work, but a lot of slavers wanted to get out to party, so our shift ended an hour early. You had been acting strangely nervous all day - even by your standards - sneaking glances at me and not saying much. Finally, when we returned to our enclosures, you spoke up.
"Um, Unity... I have something for you."
You looked terrified, and wouldn't meet my eyes. After a moment standing there, you finally reached into a small box - one of your only possessions at that time - and pulled out a scrap of paper with your mouth. You passed it over to me. I unfolded it to reveal a detailed drawing of a mare - an impossibly beautiful unicorn, with a lovely long mane and freedom in her eyes.
"It's a drawing of you..." you stuttered, now visibly shaking. I looked at the drawing again. It's lovely... but I couldn't imagine how you can see me that way. I still can't, two years later. I'm certainly not complaining, though - and you know the way I see you isn't really so different. Where everyone else sees the shattered slave, I see something special - someone unlike anyone I've ever met.
"It's beautiful! Thank you, Murky!" I replied, and reached over to give you a hug. A couple of slaves mock-cheered or hooted; most were too tired to pay us much attention. I reached into my saddlebag and pulled out my own gift - a journal, only slightly used, retrieved from an MAS office upstairs. I pulled out the only three pages that had been written on, and the journal had survived two hundred years sealed in a drawer remarkably well.
Your eyes lit up when you saw it. Somehow I knew you wouldn't ever part with that journal.
It was the first time I had ever seen you smile. I don't want to lose that.
It was spring, a few months later. We had both been lent to a slaver on the north side named Steelmill - a unicorn mare with a habit of killing slaves as scapegoats for her own incompetence and failure to meet her production targets. We were acting as labor for a technical team repairing machines - running back and forth to a nearby warehouse to retrieve boxes of parts.
I was half-carrying, half-floating a box of Part 0194 (some kind of irregularly-shaped gear - goddesses only know what it was for) back to the technical gang in their workshop. I saw you heading toward the warehouse to get a box of parts yourself - tagging along with a group of other slaves to help read the numbers. You looked beaten, and more than a little lost. I couldn't help but watch you, and as a result, stumbled on a piece of fallen concrete right at the workshop's entrance. Part 0194 tumbled all over the floor.
"UNITY!" Steelmill shouted at me. I knew this wouldn't be good... Steel trotted over to me, her whip already uncoiling. "How fucking clumsy are you? I need useful workers, not worthless ponies to make a hard job worse! I wonder if Grindstone would even care if I made an example of you..." she said, almost seeming to mumble to herself, and glancing at a pistol holstered on her front right leg.
"Wait!" I heard a pony shout. I turned around to see you, your look of fear and distance replaced by defiance and determination. "I bumped into her! Knocked her off balance! It was an accident!" Steelmill wheeled around, and stared at you. You looked calmly back. "You stupid little shit..." she said, hardly above a whisper. Then the whip came down.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I was there for you when you came back to our enclosure six hours later, after an extra shift. I held you, helped wash your wounds, told you it would be okay. You slept in my hooves for the first time that night.
Why is it that that same determination scares me so much tonight?
Three days of punishment shifts later, you were starting to break down. Two hours of sleep per night, followed by hard labor for fourteen hours, wasn't enough for a pony - any pony - to operate on for long. I could see fatigue in your every motion. I knew you had saved my life, but I still couldn't shake the guilt from seeing you go through this for me - and from knowing you could have gotten killed by Steelmill in the process.
When you half-walked, half-stumbled back into the slave enclosure in the MAS after the third (and thankfully final) day of extra shifts, I was waiting. You had a far-away look in your eyes, but as soon as you saw me, you focused. I ran toward you, threw my front legs around your neck, and felt tears dripping down my face.
"I missed you so bad, Murky! Please be okay... please..." I begged. "Yeah, I'm just tired... and everything hurts..." you said back. I could feel your tears in my fur. I helped support you as you limped to your cot, and curled up next to you. I saw that you were starting to drift off to sleep, but there was one thing I had to first. "Hey, Murky? Can I borrow your journal for a moment?" I asked. You agreed, too tired to ask why. I floated it up, letting it hover in front of my face. "Come on, spell..." I whispered to myself... and then felt it within me. I let it flow into the journal, dancing around it, filling it with light.
Exhausted, I let the journal fall to the ground.
You were already asleep, but I knew you'd feel the change in the journal when you woke up.
I wonder if you'll still feel it after you don't know me anymore.
It took you three weeks to get back to your normal - albeit rather frail - self. I did my best to make things easier for you whenever I could. I gave you some of my rations, and on several occasions, did your work and covered for you when you were up against your limits. Bit by bit, you got back to being the Murky I was used to.
One night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I woke to feel a gentle hoof tap on my back. I bolted upright, and saw your outline - and saw as you held up a hoof to your mouth, warning for quiet, and then beckoned me to follow. I quietly got up, and - walking as softly as I could - followed you out of the slave enclosure and through a door that had been open a crack. This was an area of the MAS that I had never been to, and that I hadn't even seen slavers entering.
The hall was almost pitch black, but I saw a sudden pool of light on the floor. Looking down I saw the edges of a flashlight. "I think we can talk here, but we should probably still be as quiet as we can," you said softly. "If you can float the flashlight, we can finally start exploring the building!"
"Uh, Murk? Why are we exploring the building?" I asked, slightly confused. We had vaguely discussed the possibility of escape before, but had never made any plans, and this hall seemed to be going to a stairwell toward higher floors, not toward any exits. "Well, we need tools and stuff, right?" you said. "Maybe if we can find old snacks - or even a battle saddle! - we'll be able to get out easier!"
That seemed reasonable enough. I followed you up the stairwell. The first exit door was locked, but the second opened to a dark corridor. We listened for a few moments; neither of us heard voices. Most of the offices were almost empty, with just a few scattered office supplies, but we finally struck gold on the fourth try. A huge office waited on the far side, including a strange device next to a chair. I took a look at it, trying to figure out what it did. You hung back, periodically glancing out at the hallway nervously.
I found a recording device, sitting next to the machine, and inserted it into the office's terminal. A voice drifted out of the speaker. "This is Aurora
Star. Operating instructions for the Memory Projection and Extractor Unit will follow." I listened curiously as it described how the machine could make memory orbs - we had these back in Friendship City, although we didn't have the ability to make our own.
A soft creaking sound came in from the hallway. You peeked out, then screamed and dove back into the office. "Get down, Unity!" you said in a loud whisper, and ran toward the desk. You weren't quick enough. A giant shape came through the door - a two-armed, one-wheeled robot bristling with weapons, and a screen showing the face of a hopeful-looking soldier buck.
The robot took one look at you. "MISS FLUTTERSHY! I thought I recognized your exquisite, feminine, yet highly effective scream! I had heard someone in this office during my regular patrol, but I see now it was an unannounced inspection! I hope you do not think too badly of this facility's security for allowing the heavily-armed camp of zebra sympathizers to control the downstairs area!"
Your jaw dropped. I could see wheels turning in your head, trying to figure this out. "Uh... thank you, robot! We're just... like you said! Inspecting! This is a very nice-" - you gestured vaguely at the office "place... office... ministry... thing!" The image on the robot's screen changed to a smiling buck. "I exist to serve! I will resume my regular patrol now! It is truly a pleasure to see you once again, Miss Fluttershy!" The robot started to wheel out of the room.
"Wait!" you said. "If I need your help, will you be around?" The robot turned toward you. "It is my sworn duty to defend this ministry, Miss Fluttershy! You only need call for me, and I will be at your side, defending you against whatever savage striped hordes may threaten you!" You smiled and thanked the robot, and it wheeled away. "See? Definitely good things to know for an escape," you said.
We didn't find much else in the offices, but the memory extractor was definitely interesting, and so was the robot, who we saw no further sign of. Ascending the stairwell, we found ourselves on the roof of the MAS building. We trotted out, amazed at being this high up, and looked around Fillydelphia. The Alpha-Omega Hotel gleamed in the distance, and the far-off mountains reflected the city's dull red glow. Factories rumbled and hummed; we occasionally saw slaves or overseers walking in the streets. "Wow," you said quietly.
We just looked out for a moment. We still couldn't see beyond the wall, but it was amazing how reachable everything - even the mountains - looked from here. I subconsciously found myself inching closer to you as we looked over the edge of the building, and I could tell you were doing the same. "It's... nice..." I said. It wasn't exactly one of my most articulate moments. I felt your hoof brush lightly against my own, and was suddenly aware that this was the first time we had ever been properly alone together.
I looked over at you, seeing you taking in the city, and leaned down to gently kiss your cheek. Your turned to face me, and we stayed like that for a moment. Finally, without either one of us really initiating it, we both leaned forward into a soft kiss. We stayed like that for just a moment, and broke apart. I started to come to a realization that would later come to shape much of my life - that to me, you weren't just another slave companion, but rather something new to me. Something I don't want to lose.
I had never been kissed before. After tonight, I probably never will be again.
It was three days ago. The choice had been made.
You had brought a large saddlebag filled with food and snacks. I had stolen flint for making fires, and three knives, a flashlight, a flare, and some spark batteries. The plan was simple: break into the water purification facility on the north side, enter the main sewer drain without being detected, and walk right on out. I had talked to a slave who had worked in the facility and knew the spillway was over a kilometer outside of the wall. Being moved to separate enclosures meant it was time to act - now or never.
Planning it was the easy part. Actually doing it was going to be harder. You and I both knew it. That's why we were sitting here, on an abandoned picnic ground, surrounded by trash and shattered bits of tables, staring at hundreds of padlocks hanging off a fence. I had been here before - I knew what they were: love locks, symbols of unbreakable commitment between lovers going back before
the war.
You pulled an item from your vest, and gave it to me. I floated it out, glanced over it, checked the size - a padlock, with just enough surface to write what we needed to on it. You looked at me, as if just seeing me for the first time, then, barely audibly, said "I love you." I smiled. "I love you too, Murky. And tonight we're getting out." "Together?" you asked. "Together, or not at all," I responded, then turned my attention to the lock.
I reached for my magic, feeling it burn through me. A shape began to glow on the lock, radiating light from melting metal. The shape of the sun, around the edges, and then a word, three letters, and a symbol of a heart. I spun it around in the air, cooling it down, and showed you. "What does it say?" you asked. "It says I love you, Murk." I looped the lock through the fence, and closed it. You hadn't taken a key when you stole the lock. It would stay for good.
As the sun went down, I did one last piece of magic - I emblazoned my magical signature, and yours, on the lock. If somehow we didn't make it out, and if we got separated, I would always be able to come here and feel you.
Seeing you sleeping peacefully, exhausted from the memory extraction process, still brings a smile to my face, even under the circumstances. It's funny - even after all that's happened, I would do it all the same over again. Meeting you, being your mare, fighting for freedom together...
Well, maybe not the whole "getting captured at the water processing plant" part. I might do that a little differently. But maybe one day we'll be able to fix this anyway - maybe someday, I'll hold you again.
Mister Peace - I finally learned the robot's name only minutes ago - looks at me expectantly. I lean down and stroke your mane one last time with a hoof, and kiss your cheek. "I love you," I whisper in your ear. I pray you'll know you're loved when you wake up, even if you don't know who or why. I look at the collection of glowing green orbs sitting by the machine, and hope you'll find them.
Finally, I sit down in the chair, and pull the headset down. "Remember, Mister Peace," I say softly. "Only tell us if we already know. And please... hope for that to come true soon."
I pull the lever.
Everything goes white.
I love you, Murky.
