If You Want Something Done Right...

by The Hybrid Changeling

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Sex, Science Fiction, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Death
Length: 90787

...Send the town's newcomer to sort it out. When an odd stallion appears in Ponyville, it's up to Twilight and friends to figure out a solution to his... 'dilemma'. It doesn't take long for him to realise that friendship isn't a universal fix.

A reimagining of an earlier story of mine.

Once upon a time, Twilight Sparkle was sent to Ponyville to help with the Summer Sun Celebration. Along the way, she met many Ponies who helped her learn the magic of friendship. She also met a sarcastic asshole of a stallion who happened to be missing his memories.

Together, they would go on many different adventures, helping whoever asked for it, whether because of friendship, a reward or simply a few moments of peace.

Rated mature for strong language, mild sexual content and gore.
Tags will adapt as story progresses.
Comments can and will contain spoilers for content within posted chapters, read them at your own risk.

Published 2017-01-04 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-20 12:48:02 UTC

Friendship is Mediocre - Part 2

Twilight ran through the streets of Ponyville with Spike on her back, trying desperately to get back to the library. She had been running for several minutes when she suddenly remembered she could teleport. After cursing herself under her breath, she teleported to the library’s lobby.

After knocking out Spike and leaving him upstairs, Twilight ran around the lobby, throwing books off of their shelves in a desperate attempt to find what she needed to stop Nightmare. Try as she did, however, Twilight couldn’t find any books about the Elements of Harmony; a set of ancient relics rumoured to stop evil.

“Ugh!” Twilight grunted, getting angry at the poorly organised books. “How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!”

“Having more people trying than just yourself is a start,” answered Cloud, walking in through the front door. “I take that this is that ‘nothing’ you mentioned?” He motioned around with his hoof. Twilight sighed.

“More or less. I suppose you have no idea who Nightmare Moon is?” Twilight asked. Good thing I brought that history book...

“Old ruler of the land, turned evil through arrogance, greed or jealousy?” Cloud guessed. Twilight blinked.

“Um… Actually, yes, that about sums it up.” What am I doing? I need to find that book! “I’m sorry,” Twilight apologised as Cloud picked up a book and leafed through it, “but I’m in a little bit of a hurry. I don’t have time for this.”

Cloud wasn’t listening, too engrossed in the book he was reading. Twilight rolled her eyes and continued looking.

The book Cloud was reading detailed basic defensive magic, focusing heavily on magic bolt spells and simple shield spells:

“...But what is particularly interesting to most students is that every Unicorn has their own natural ‘flavour’ of magic.

A Unicorn’s ‘flavour’, as some call it, is a slight magical unbalance in their casting, and that ‘flavour’ is almost always what that Unicorn’s speciality is. Since a Unicorn’s magic is already unbalanced in a specific way, when a Unicorn tries using magic that corresponds with their ‘flavour’, less effort is required, making that kind of magic much, much easier. It is possible to remove one’s flavour through much training and magical balancing.

A few examples of magical ‘flavours’ are:

-A fiery tinge.

-A fluid tinge.

-An electrical tinge.

-A bright tinge.

-A healthy tinge.

-A slow tinge.

This phenomenon is displayed most directly when initially using combat magic. Since basic combat magic is elementless, the casting Unicorn’s ‘flavour’ will tip it into relating to whatever their ‘flavour’ is…”

The book continued into further detail, but when Cloud reached an explanation of how to cast a magic bolt spell, his horn slowly began to glow without his knowledge. What was stranger was the colour of his magic aura; while it was usually a light blue, it was now, for whatever reason, red. It built up more and more, until suddenly…

BANG!

Twilight spun around to see a small, smouldering crater in the wall of the library. Cloud tutted.

“Dammit, not again,” he muttered.

“What did you just do?!” Exclaimed Twilight. “What do you mean ‘not again’?!”

“Earlier today, well, yesterday I guess, I accidentally cast a spell without meaning to, a teleport spell. Just now, I was reading about magic bolts and, well, you can see what happened. Weird, right?” Oh, is that all?

“Not at all,” Twilight explained, annoyed it wasn’t something more important, “you just don’t know your own strength. This sort of thing is common during puberty, but obviously this is due to your missing memories.”

“But how did I cast a teleport spell without knowing how?” Asked Cloud. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Were your emotions rampant at the time?”

“Yeah, I was pissed of at this annoying little sh-”

“Then you just had a magical overload and accidentally teleported,” Twilight continued explaining, rolling her eyes in annoyance, “no big deal. Like I said; it's not uncommon.” Cloud blinked.

“Alright then.”

“Now, if you’re done distracting me, I need to find a book on the Elements of Harmony, now!”

“And just what are the Elements of Harmony?!” Demanded Rainbow Dash, bursting in through a window.

“Oh for f-!”

“And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh?!” Rainbow continued demanding. “Are you a spy?!” Twilight teleported her back outside.

“This is why I don’t socialise!” Twilight screamed.

“Simmer down, Twiglet,” said Applejack, who’d apparently been inside the library as well. “We just wanna know what’s goin’ on.” Four other Ponies beside her suddenly became noticeable and Rainbow flew back inside. Where do these idiots keep coming from?! Twilight sighed.

“I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon,” Twilight explained. “Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are apparently the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them - I don't even know what they do!”

"The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide,” read Pinkie Pie. Twilight snatched the book away from her. Yes! This is what I need!

“That’s… Convenient,” muttered Cloud, sounding suspicious. Twilight took no notice, flipping through the book until she found the information she needed.

“There are six Elements of Harmony,” she read, ”but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery.”

“Casual ‘stuff’?” Cloud suggested.

”It is said,” Twilight continued, ignoring him again, ”the last known location of the five Elements was in the ancient castle of the royal Pony sisters. It is located in what is now…” Twilight walked out of the front door, face still in the book. The Ponies inside the library exchanged confused looks before following her.

“...The Everfree Forest!” Twilight read dramatically, standing on the outskirts of the forest, the others behind her.

“Alright,” said Cloud, “let’s go.” Hopefully it’s not too far, I’ll sober up soon.

“Not so fast. I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather do this alone.”

“No can do, Twiglet,” said Applejack, walking towards the forest. “We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.” The others, minus Cloud, voiced their agreement. Actually, it really wouldn’t be a good idea for any of them to go in. Yeah, but I don’t wanna sound like a hypocrite.

“Face it, Twilight, we’re coming with you,” Cloud added as Twilight sighed. “Look at it this way; you have meat shields in case things go wrong!” The two of them followed the others into the forest.

“That’s morbid,” Twilight argued. “Don’t think like that.”

“Wait, you’re actually worried?” Cloud asked. ”Why? We’re only going up against a thing with amazing power, nothing to worry about at all!” Twilight frowned in annoyance.

“I see you’ve remembered how to be an asshole.”

“You are what you eat,” Cloud noted. Twilight looked to him, bewildered.

“E-Excuse me?!”

“I’m joking. You need to lighten up or you’ll lose focus on what’s important.”

“You mean like my sense of right and wrong?”

“No, I mean like Nightmare in vapour form flying towards us!” He exclaimed, pointing away from Twilight. She turned and, sure enough, saw exactly that.

Nightmare’s vapour soaked into the cliff they were standing on and an audible cracking could be heard. Everyone other than Twilight and Cloud were talking too much to notice.

“Everyone, get off the cliff!” Shouted Twilight, but she was too late; the cliff exploded under their hooves, sending all non-Pegasi plummeting down. Shit!

Cloud was falling and screaming, the ground getting closer each second. He seemed helpless, when magical energy suddenly surged through his body and some kind of magical, circular platform spun clockwise into existence underneath him. He stopped in the air, standing on the platform, trying to register what had just happened.

I’m… standing on a floating platform in midair. Another magic outburst? He glanced upwards to his horn, but it wasn’t lit. Not a spell then… I think? Uh, it’s green? A brighter, more vibrant green than my fur, if that matters somehow. It’s covered in shapes that- Wait a moment! It looks just like my cutie mark! So, it is some kind of spell? It seems so.

Cloud tried stepping on different parts of the platform, but everything within its circumference acted the same, as if it were solid, even empty sections that seemed like thin air. It was large enough for him to stand on normally, the outer rim being an inch longer on each side. As he stepped about on the platform, it didn’t tilt nor tip in any way.

Cloud suddenly realised he was about twenty metres above the ground. Okay, so, if it’s a spell of some kind, it would be reasonable to think I can control it, right? It seems like a fair hypothesis. He tried willing it to descend, and, sure enough, it did.

As he descended at a decent rate, Cloud realised he couldn't move his legs. It was as if he was rooted to the spot. Interesting… After landing, Cloud tried willing it to dispel. The platform obeyed, spinning counter-clockwise and shrinking until it disappeared in a flash of light. The opposite of how it appeared. Cute.

“Cloud!” Called Twilight, breaking his train of thought. Cloud glanced around and saw that everyone else had gotten down okay, nobody looked harmed. “What was that?!”

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “But I’ve got a better idea of what my special talent is now.”

Everyone continued through the forest, using more caution this time. Twilight and Cloud were at the rear of the group, doing a few small experiments.

Together, they’d discovered that Cloud could summon and dismiss the circular platform whenever he liked. It didn’t seem to be directly connected to his Unicorn magic, moreso his willpower and innate Pony magic. The more he tried to do with it, the more strain it put on his mind.

As Cloud had noticed before, he couldn’t move his legs while the circle had any kind of velocity but, as long as it was stationary, he could move however he liked. This also meant that he could turn the circle upside down and he would remain rooted to it for as long as it was in motion. However, if he stepped off of the circle or summoned it somewhere not underneath himself, he could move the circle while moving his legs. The further away from himself he tried to move the circle, the more mental strain it took.

“I don’t understand,” said Twilight, “I’ve never read about anything like this before.”

“Do you read a lot?” Asked Cloud. Twilight looked disgruntled.

“Yes, actually. I’m a student of Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria and raiser of the sun and moon.” Cloud stopped walking and blinked.

“...Your ruler moves the sun and moon?” He asked, sounding almost scared. Twilight stopped too, looking at him in a confused manner.

“Um, yes? She’s raised both the sun and moon for nine hundred and ninety nine years, ever since her sister, Princess Luna, corrupted and became Nightmare Moon. After Princess Celestia trapped her in the moon, she had to start moving the moon as well as the sun.”

“...Oh.” The two of them continued walking, slightly quicker as to keep up with the others. “So we’re going up against a being with godlike power?”

“Yes,” replied Twilight, “why?”

“I’m starting to see why you were worried before,” said Cloud, a quiver of fear in his voice.

“What happened to all that talk of eating assholes?” Smirked Twilight. “C’mon, I doubt Nightmare will interfere anymore. There’s no way she expected us to survive that cliff.” Wait a minute…

“That’s a point, how did the rest of you survive?” Cloud asked.

“Well, Applejack-” Twilight was cut off by a mighty thud as an enormous creature leapt from the shadows, roaring and snarling. “A manticore! We’ve gotta get past it!” Cloud nodded, teleported to the front of the group and fired a magic bolt, just as red as before.

The manticore spun and struck the bolt with its armoured tail, reflecting it back towards Cloud. In a split second, Cloud managed to summon a platform. Up! Up!

The platform flew directly upwards, letting him avoid the bolt which exploded against a tree, knocking it down. Cloud grit his teeth and prepared to fire again, but something strange happened: The circle seemed to surge magical energy into Cloud, multiplying the power of his spell and making him fire off a much larger and much, much more powerful magic bolt. What was that?!

The manticore reflected the bolt again, but Cloud was too deep in thought and didn’t notice until the last second. Twilight, however, noticed sooner and cast a shield spell over him. The bolt exploded onto Cloud, smashing his circle to pieces that soon disappeared in a flash of light and sending him, once again, plummeting to the ground, this time crashing into it. Luckily, Twilight’s shield took the bulk of the damage, leaving him relatively unharmed, if a little bruised.

Cloud opened his eyes to see that one of the other members of the group had managed to tame it. Twilight walked over to him and offered a hoof to help him up.

“Thanks for trying,” she thanked, pulling him up. Cloud grunted, feeling embarrassed. “When you fired that second bolt, it seemed like the platform pumped some kind of energy into you.”

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed, “I felt it. I think it made my magic more powerful.”

“Hm… It can transfer your mental focus and innate magic into Unicorn magic, maybe?” Theorised Twilight.

“Maybe. Whatever it did, it put a hell of a strain on my focus; I had a horrible migraine, but just for a moment.”

“Interesting, interesting…”

The two of them continued to discuss theories as the group ventured deeper into the forest.

Many hours and obstacles later, including a group of ‘scary looking trees’, the group finally made it to the castle ruins. Entering through a pair of tall, wooden doors, the seven of them found themselves in a long stone room, ruined with age. In the centre of the room stood a statue bearing five spheres.

“Twilight, is this what we’re looking for?” Asked Cloud. Twilight nodded.

“This is it,” she replied. “The Elements of Harmony. We’ve found them!” The two Pegasi in the group lifted them down from the statue.

“One, two, three, four…” counted Pinkie, ”there's only five!”

“The book said: “When the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.”

“A magical spark maybe?” Suggested Cloud.

“Yes, that was my thought too,” Twilight agreed. “Stand back, everyone.” Though Cloud took a few steps back, the others felt it necessary to leave the room entirely. Good job, everyone, get separated in a spooky castle. Great adventuring logic there.

Twilight began casting a variety of spells on the Elements, but nothing seemed to work. Suddenly, the dark vapour appeared again, this time sucking the Elements into a vortex.

“No!” Shouted Twilight. “We can’t let her take the Elements!” She leapt into the vortex, Cloud following her a second after.

The two found themselves in a larger room deeper into the castle. At the end of the room stood Nightmare Moon herself. The Elements floated around her, lifted by her magic.

“Twilight,” Cloud said very quickly, “cast that shield spell on me again.” Twilight looked around, bewildered.

“What?” She asked. “Wait, you’re going to fight her?!”

“Yep.”

“But there’s no way you can-!”

“I know, but I can keep her busy while you get the Elements.”

“No!” Twilight shouted. “Cloud, she’ll kill you!”

“Then you’d better get the Elements working fast.”

“But-!” She was shut down by a glare. “...Fine.” Twilight cast a shield spell on Cloud as he stepped towards Nightmare.

“You're kidding,” tutted Nightmare. “You're kidding, right? Hm. Fine, if death is what you wish.”

“Today’s not the day I die,” Cloud spat back, charging his horn and shifting his stance.

“We shall see.”

Cloud fired two magic bolts in succession as Nightmare shifted into vapour and blasted towards him. The bolts passed through her and she shifted back into Pony form, but continued charging at him. Cloud waited until the last second before teleporting behind her and firing another bolt. This one hit, but her armour took the bolt like it was nothing.

Nightmare sent a blast of lightning at Cloud, scoring a direct hit. It sent shocks of pain through him, but his shield took most of the damage. Nightmare wasted no time firing two magic bolts of her own, both incredibly larger and deadlier than Cloud’s. Cloud quickly summoned the circular platform and flew upwards to dodge the bolts, only for them to curve and come back at him. Cloud flew around on his circle, dodging the bolts again and again while firing his own bolts back at them, breaking one of them apart. The other struck him in the side, pushing the shield near its limit and breaking a few ribs.

As Cloud cried out in pain, Nightmare flew up to be level with him and unleashed a magical beam of concentrated nightmares straight towards him, tendrils of darkness spiking out of it. Cloud used the circle to boost his power, then poured every bit of his magic and mental focus into a magic bolt spell. The spell erupted from the power, turning into a red beam of magical energy, electricity sparking off of it as it collided with the beam of nightmares.

The two beams fought for power, but Nightmare’s beam quickly won and pushed back against Cloud’s, getting slowly closer and closer to him. Finally, it collided with Cloud, smashing through his shield and sending him crashing into a far wall.

Cloud fell to the ground, broken and bloody. Nightmare teleported to his side.

“Not bad for a mortal,” she said to his unconscious body, “but you had no chance against a God, you foal. Now you shall die.” Nightmare charged up her horn to deliver the finishing blow, when suddenly…

“Nightmare Moon!” Bellowed Twilight. Nightmare turned to see Twilight and the other five floating in the air, each one encircled by an Element of Harmony.

“W-What?!” Cried Nightmare. “That’s impossible! How could you use the Elements of Harmony?!”

“Because we are the Spirits of the Elements of Harmony!” Twilight declared. “You see, Nightmare, when these Elements are ignited by the spark that resides in the heart of us, it creates the sixth element, my Element! The Element of magic!”

A rainbow coloured beam of magical energy erupted from them and blasted Nightmare, her screams masked beneath the thunderous noise it made.

After what seemed like an eternity, everything stopped and the world was silent.

Cloud awoke in a bed and, once again, summed up his thoughts and feelings in a single word.

“Ow.”

After waiting a few minutes to fully wake up, he glanced around the room. He was in the Ponyville library, lying in the upstairs bed, sunshine lighting the room. Okay... So, not dead, not eternal night. That’s good. It’s a wonder that I’m still alive after that. I wonder how that happened? Damn, my sense of humor must have been critically wounded.

The door to the room opened as Cloud sat up.

“Cloud!” Exclaimed Twilight, rushing over to the bed.

“Hey, Twilight,” Cloud greeted, groaning. “Did we win? Or are we both dead?” She smirked.

“We won, smartass. The others and I got the Elements working and defeated Nightmare Moon.”

“Good job,” he said, patting her on the head, “I’ll buy you a cookie later.” Twilight gave him a playful dirty look.

“Thanks,” she replied sarcastically. “Anyway, Princess Celestia was released from her prison and came to us.”

“She probably wasn’t happy that you killed her sister,” Cloud thought aloud. Twilight shook her head.

“Princess Luna is still alive; the Elements destroyed the evil in her heart and set her free.”

“Huh. That’s convenient.” About as convenient as the book… Hm... “So, other than your shield - thanks for that by the way - why am I not dead?”

“Because of I,” announced a different voice. Cloud looked towards its source to see a tall Alicorn; Princess Celestia. “I took you to my personal hospital in Canterlot as quickly as I was able. My medical staff were able to heal you with a few advanced surgical procedures, and it has taken a week for you to awaken here.”

“Cool, thanks,” Cloud thanked simply. “What’s the real reason Twilight was in Ponyville?” Princess Celestia looked taken aback.

“Excuse me?”

“Cloud, what are you talking about?” Asked Twilight. “The Princess sent me here to check on preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration.”

“So she sent you, the only one worried about Nightmare Moon, to the town where she just happened to appear,” summed up Cloud, “and set you in a library that just happened to have the right information, next to a forest that just happened to house the Elements of Harmony-”

“-And I just happened to bring along the other Spirits of Harmony who just happened to be leading preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, so I would definitely meet them,” Twilight finished, frowning. “You’re right.” She turned to the Princess. “Princess, did you know about all of this?”

Princess Celestia was quiet for a couple of minutes, her face impossible to read.

“I’m afraid, my student,” she finally replied, ”that I cannot tell you the reason as of yet. One day you will know the truth, but that day is not today.” I don’t buy it, something’s still up. Not much I can do about it right now. “Onto other matters; Cloud Calculation, I will look into the situation concerning your memories and your origin. In the meantime, I would like you to remain here in Ponyville with Twilight, allow her to train you in the art of magic and study your strange ability.”

“Well, alright,” he responded. “Any sort of end goal in mind?”

“I believe you may have the potential to become a protector of Equestria.” There was a short silence.

“...Is that all?” Cloud asked. ”I expected you to say a lot more.”

“I believe the rest is self explanatory, yes?”

“Fair enough,” Cloud sighed, “I accept your proposal.” The Princess smiled. Why do I feel like her intentions might not be so nice? I shouldn’t trust her. Not yet, anyway...

“Wonderful.”

The thousandth Summer Sun Celebration did not go according to plan to most Ponies. However, it was the catalyst that began the stories of many things: The Spirits of Harmony, the return of Princess Luna, a student becoming a teacher and, of course, the friendship between Twilight Sparkle and Cloud Calculation.

It would be put to the test on many an occasion.

Author's Note

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! :twilightsmile:

The Ticket to the Ts

Some time after the Summer Sun Celebration, the town of Ponyville had more or less returned to normal. Workers from Canterlot, being paid by Princess Celestia, had been sent down to repair any and all damages caused by Nightmare Moon and had fixed them in only a couple of days.

Twilight Sparkle had been requested to remain in Ponyville by Princess Celestia for numerous reasons, the most political being that it was wise to keep the Spirits of Harmony close together, lest there be another disaster of some kind. Another reason was that the Princess would not have the time to teach Twilight as she had been previously; with Princess Luna reformed, she would have to be taught how to live in modern day Equestria.

There was, however, a third reason: Cloud Calculation, the stallion who aided the Spirits in finding the Elements of Harmony, needed to be tutored in magic to allow Twilight to study his mysterious magical ability.

On the day of the Summer Sun Celebration, Cloud had discovered that he had the ability to summon a strange kind of magical, circular platform. This circle allowed him many benefits, as he and Twilight had learned together that day. Since then, not much more had been learnt, but they had come up with a name which fit its supportive abilities:

The Support Circle.

Two weeks had passed since Twilight and her friends had defeated Nightmare Moon. On that day, she had expected life to become significantly more exciting. Unfortunately for her, the biggest change was having a second idiot to take care of.

“Okay,” groaned Twilight, “I’ll go over it one more time, are you going to write it down this time?”

“Y’know, it’s not easy to keep up with you when you refuse to slow down,” Cloud moaned. “Especially since I only learned how to write a couple of days ago.” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“You keep saying that, but I still have a hard time believing it.”

“Oh boy, here we go again…”

“How is it possible for you to have a perfectly fine understanding of how to speak and read and yet you have no idea how to write?! It’s inconceivable!”

“Can we just hurry this up?” Cloud asked, disgruntled. Twilight tutted.

“Fine.” Twilight turned to the blackboard behind her and began pointing to various locations over it as she spoke, “I’m going to teach you, again, about the three Ts.” Cloud began slowly taking notes in a notebook he had been using for studying. “The three Ts refer to three of the key spells a Unicorn can learn; telekinesis, teleportation and telepathy. The-”

“Wait a minute!” Cloud interrupted, still writing. Twilight huffed impatiently. “Okay, go on.”

“Telekinesis is, by far, the easiest of the three. It’s often the first spell learnt, and is used in day to day life such as, for a random example, writing.” She waited for a moment, but Cloud made no response, focused on his notes. “Teleportation is moderately more advanced,” she continued, ”and is generally only learnt in late teenage years if the Unicorn in question is either powerful enough, or if they have studied and practiced for a long enough time on the subject.”

“So,” Cloud interrupted, “you called these ‘key spells’. I think I’ve realised why; they’re spells so… raw, that they can be figured out or accidentally cast without ever being actually learnt, right?” Twilight smiled.

“Correct. This is why you were able to teach yourself to teleport and use telekinesis two weeks ago. However, the third T, telepathy, is a much, much more advanced spell. If powerful enough, a Unicorn can learn this naturally too, but it’s exceedingly rare. Of course,” she continued, a hint of smugness to her voice, “I am one of the exceptions. I’m Princess Celestia’s personal student for a reason.” Cloud made sure to write down that Twilight was a smug asshole.

Before they could continue, Spike came out of the kitchen with a tray of pancakes.

“Oh, thank you, Spike,” thanked Twilight, “you’re just in time for our lunch bre-” But before Twilight could finish her sentence, Spike had already finished the platter.

“Hm? Oh,” Spike swallowed, his mouth still full of food, “sorry, Twi, that was for my snack time.”

“Spike, you’re a g-” She was cut off by Spike once more, this time coughing up a scroll.

“Now that’s magic,” said Cloud, applauding, “I’ve yet to learn how to digest pancakes into scrolls.” Twilight rolled her eyes as Spike unfurled the scroll.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” read Spike, “Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of - eh, yadda yadda yadda - cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.” A few seconds after finishing, he coughed up the tickets to the Gala in question.

“Wonderful!” Twilight exclaimed. Cloud looked confused.

“The what now?” He asked.

“The Grand Galloping Gala is a formal event held around the beginning of Autumn,” Twilight explained. “All sorts of important Ponies will be there! I’ve never been allowed to go before, I turned eighteen only this year, you see.”

“Interesting,” Cloud replied. He smirked before throwing a foreleg around Spike’s shoulders. “So, which of us lucky guys are you taking to the Gala?” He joked. Twilight pretended to go into deep thought, smirking all the while.

“It’s a tough choice,” she played along, tapping her chin, “but given the circumstances, I’ll just have to take… Rainbow Dash!” The three of them laughed. “In all seriousness, the second ticket is already yours, the letter is just a formality. I imagine the other Spirits will get their tickets in the regular mail.”

“But what about-?”

“I’m too young,” Spike answered before Cloud could even ask. “Besides, I don’t wanna go anywhere near that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense!”

“Fair enough,” Cloud replied. “Anyway, where were we?” Twilight thought for a moment.

“Ah, yes!” She exclaimed, clapping her hooves together as she remembered her previous train of thought. “Spike, you’re a greedy bastard. I’m going to go out for some lunch.”

“Then I’ll go for a walk and review my notes,” said Cloud. “Maybe get a drink.” Twilight nodded.

“Alright, we’ll come back to this in an hour or so.”

The three of them headed out, Cloud and Twilight going separate ways while Spike rode on her back.

Little did they know, they were being watched.

Cloud was walking through the outskirts of town, going over his notes and thinking about the possibilities. If I can learn to use telepathy, Twilight’s lessons would speed up considerably. She mentioned that it requires a strong amount of magical power. I would’ve thought that she implies my telekinesis and my teleportation will be stronger by the time I’m strong enough to use it. Very likely. I would say endurance training would work best, but I should ask when I get back.

“Hey!” Shouted a nearby voice, growing closer. “Hey, you!”

I should also do a little experimenting with the magic bolt spell. With the excess energy from my Support Circle, I accidentally turned it into a magic beam. I might even be able to do it without a boost, though it would be weaker.

“Hey!” The voice shouted again. “I’m trying to talk to you!”

That’s enough studying for now, I seriously need a break. If I head back into town I might find Twilight and Spike, and I’ll probably have enough time to get a quick drink.

As Cloud stopped to turn back, something slammed into him, knocking him down. He dropped his notebook in surprise, sending it sailing through the air, landing straight in a nearby pond. No!

Cloud dashed over to the pond and pulled his book out as fast as he could. Shit! The ink’s gonna run!

Not giving any time to the Pony that knocked him over, Cloud summoned his Support Circle and flew as fast as he could towards the library, holding his notebook in a telekinetic grip.

From the tests he and Twilight had done, they had discovered that the fastest he could travel on the Support Circle was around twenty metres per second, or close to forty five miles per hour, making it slightly faster than the average running speed of a Pony. This speed, however, was not fast enough to stop his assailant from easily catching up and flying next to him.

“Hey!” Shouted Rainbow Dash, keeping up effortlessly. “Listen to me! I’m trying to talk you!”

“What the hell do you want?!” Cloud shouted back, trying to raise his voice over the wind.

“Gimme your Grand Galloping Gala ticket!”

“What?! No! There’s one being sent to y-!”

“That Gala is the one chance I’ll have to meet the Wonderbolts! I have to go!” She interrupted.

“Oh for-!” Cloud swallowed his anger in one last attempt to stay calm. “Just go away! I need to dry this book before the ink-!”

“Is the ticket in there?!” She interrupted again, pointing to the book.

“Yeah, sure, just go awa-!” Before he could finish, Rainbow made a mad grab for the book, accidentally slamming into Cloud and making him lose his grip on the book once again. The two of them cried out as the book fell, and they both flew after it. Rainbow, being much faster, got to it first and sped away with it. NO!

Cloud finally lost control of his emotions. He got a magic boost from his Support Circle and blasted a dozen magic bolts towards her. They caught up quickly, but not before Rainbow noticed them and used evasive maneuvers, easily avoiding them all but giving Cloud enough time to catch up. He snatched the book out of her grip, got another boost and teleported back as far as he could; about twenty metres.

Out of Rainbow’s sights, Cloud quickly flew down to a nearby thicket of trees. He dismissed his Support Circle and ducked behind a tree, the book in his grasp.

“What is wrong with her?!” He muttered to himself, breathing heavily. After hiding for a minute or so, he looked to his book. It was soaked, ink dripping off the pages, not to mention it was bent out of shape from the fast flying. “Twilight might still be able to fix this before it’s too late,” he continued muttering, ”but I need to find her as soon as I can. Gotta avoid the skies, or Rainbow will try to get the ticket again…”

As Cloud galloped through the trees, he didn’t notice another Pony who’d heard every word.

Twilight and Spike were sitting at a table outside a restaurant. Spike was holding a menu, trying to decide what to order.

“...And when we return,” rambled Twilight, “I’ll need to test if he’s able to use telepathy already. I highly doubt it, but I’m still uncertain how much his Support Circle boosts his magic.” Twilight didn’t notice the restaurant's waiter walking up to the table and asking for her order. “Even then, the mental disturbance it causes would give him trouble in even using telepathy, but-”

“Twilight,” Spike interrupted, “he needs to know your order.” Spike gestured to the waiter.

“Hm? Oh, my apologies,” said Twilight, “I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich, please.” The waiter nodded before looking to Spike.

“Do you have any rubies?” Spike asked, getting a dirty look from the waiter. “No?” Spike sighed. “Okay, I’ll have the hay fries, extra crispy.”

“What do you think Spike?” Twilight asked.

“I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones? Ponies here are so racist...”

“I’m not talking about that, you idiot,” Twilight said frowning, “I’m talking about teaching Cloud.” Spike sighed.

“Twilight, what happened to your special lunch rule? You used to follow it like gospel.”

“I…” Twilight paused. ”You’re right, Spike, I’m sorry.” The waiter arrived with their food. “Ah, thank you. This looks so good!”

As Spike began stuffing his face with hay fries and Twilight went to take a bite of her sandwich, a crowd of Ponies stampeded past them and entered the restaurant.

“Erm, madam?” Asked the waiter from inside the doorway. “Are you going to eat in the rain?” Twilight looked around herself. But it isn’t rain- Wait a minute, what’s going on?

Though in a circle around her and Spike it wasn’t raining, outside of that circle it was pouring. Twilight looked upwards to see a gap in the clouds above them, occupied by Rainbow Dash maintaining it.

“Hey, Twilight!” Rainbow shouted down. Twilight frowned.

“Rainbow,” she replied dangerously, anger clearly in her voice, “I’m trying to enjoy my lunch.”

“I need to know where your roommate is!”

“Lunchtime is sacred, Rainbow Dash.”

“I lost him around Applejack’s farm, but I can still catch him if you know where he is!”

“We do not interrupt lunchtime.”

Rainbow Dash was about to continue shouting, when suddenly she spotted something.

“Nevermind!” She shouted down. “I’ve found him!” Rainbow flew through the gap and past Twilight. Twilight turned to see where she was going and saw Cloud sprinting through the streets, holding a very ruined notebook in his telekinetic grasp. Chasing him were Applejack and, now, Rainbow Dash.

“Cloud!” Applejack called. “I need that ticket to support my family!”

“GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU ORANGE FREAK!” Cloud screamed back, not seeing Twilight nor Spike at their table.

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned back to her sandwich. It had been ruined by the rain.

“Alright,” said Twilight, standing up, “now I’ve got to punch a bitch.”

Finally closing in on the library, Cloud gathered the last of his energy and teleported inside. He fell to the ground, gasping and dropping the notebook. It fell to the floor, becoming a pile of disgusting mess, damaged far beyond repair.

“All I wanted…” he gasped, audibly panting, “was a walk… and a drink… Was that so much to ask for?!”

The front door burst open to reveal Twilight dragging Applejack and Rainbow Dash each by an ear with her magic. Spike came in behind her, annoyed that his second lunch was disturbed. He ignored everyone else, went over to the fireplace and started it up to warm the place from the rain’s cold.

“Okay,” growled Twilight, throwing down Applejack and Rainbow, “both of you, explain. Now!” The gulped and exchanged glances before messily giving a terrible explanation. By the time they had finished, Twilight was deep into a face-hoof.

Cloud sat next to Spike near the fire while Twilight yelled at the two idiots. He held the disgusting mess that used to be his notebook in his hooves and sighed.

“There goes a week’s worth of studying,” Cloud mumbled sadly.

“There goes lunchtime,” Spike mumbled with him.

Twilight stomped over to them and spotted Cloud’s notebook. She rolled her eyes before she teleported it into the trash and then teleported her own notebook into one of her hooves.

“Here,” she said, reaching out to give it to him, “I took my own notes. You can copy them down into a new book.” Cloud looked to the book. After a second, he smiled.

“Thanks, Twilight,” he thanked, fully genine. He reached out to take it-

“Sorry about all that, Twiglet!” Applejack exclaimed, slapping her on the back. “No hard feelings?” The book flew out of Twilight’s hoof and into the fire.

There was a long silence.

After a while, both Twilight and Cloud managed to sum up the whole day:

"FFFFFFFFFUU-!"

Author's Note

From the tests he and Twilight had done, they had discovered that the fastest he could travel on the Support Circle was around twenty metres per second, or close to forty five miles per hour, making it slightly faster than the average running speed of a Pony.

In case anyone's wondering, the average running speed of a Pony in this story is around 15 metres a second (or about 33 miles an hour). Cloud's in decent shape, so his speed is likely a little more (I haven't decided this for certain yet) around 17 metres a second (or 38 miles an hour). The Support Circle can (currently) travel up to 20 metres a second (or about 44 miles an hour).

Applejack the Racist

Three days had passed since the two notebooks had been destroyed. Twilight and Cloud had spent far too many hours awake since then rewriting all of their notes from their memories alone. On the plus side, Cloud now had lots of practice in writing and was now about as fast as Spike - though that wasn’t saying much.

“...And done.” Twilight groaned, as grumpy as she was exhausted. “Alright, lessons resume in a thousand years, when I’m done sleeping.” Twilight teleported directly onto her bed and immediately passed out. Cloud, still in the lobby, was too tired to properly register what Twilight had even said.

“I… Yes,” he slurred, long after she was gone. I need… I… Unable to even think, Cloud stood motionless for a few seconds as his brain rebooted. Sleep. Now. Agreement. Cloud began to wobble towards the stairs.

The floor began to shake and screams could be heard from outside. Shit… Am I falling down the stairs…? Cloud looked at his hooves for a few seconds, blinking many times. No… I haven't climbed the stairs yet…

The front door burst open and Spike ran inside.

“Cloud!” He screamed. “There’s a stampede heading towards the town! People could be horribly injured if you don’t help!” Cloud stared at him for a few seconds, unspeaking. “C-Cloud?”

“Holy shit,” Cloud slurred, “the Ninja Turtles are real…” A few moments passed.

“I’m gonna get help from someone else!” Spike ran back outside, forgetting to close the door behind him.

“Donatello, wait!” Cloud shouted to him. “I need to get an autograph for Spike!” He quickly wobbled after him. On his third attempt to wobble through the doorway, he succeeded, and found himself surrounded among screaming, panicking Ponies. “EVERYONE CALM DOWN!” He bellowed. “I’LL GET ENOUGH AUTOGRAPHS FOR ALL OF YOU!” Cloud wobbled in rough circles for a while, not noticing the stampede of Cows getting closer and closer.

Someone who had noticed the stampede was Applejack. She was running alongside them in an attempt to herd them away from the town. On the opposite side of them was her dog, Winona, helping her to thin the drove into a skinnier line. When it was thin enough, she used her lasso carefully and managed to turn the stampede away from the town with maybe a metre to spare. With nothing immediately in danger, Applejack was able to easily stop the Cows’ charge.

“Now what the hay what that all about?” Applejack asked angrily.

“I’m very sorry about that, Ms Applejack!” Exclaimed Daisy Jo, the alpha of the herd. “We heard that Ponyville was allowing non-Ponies to visit and were heading over to do some trading, but then we saw a snake and we-!”

“Ya heard wrong!” Applejack shouted. “True, there’s a royal ambassador here fer the moment, but he’s protected by royalty! The rest of you damn animals still aren’t allowed anywhere near Ponyville! Now git outta here before I turn y’all to mince meat and sell you to those Gryphon freaks!”

“Oh my!” Daisy gasped. “V-Very well! We will not return again!” The Cows, scared of Applejack’s racism, turned and headed back the way they had come.

The previously panicked Ponies one by one realised that Applejack had gotten rid of the Cows and all began to cheer. Applejack stood in front of them and took a bow.

“Wow, Applejack!” Exclaimed a Pony in the crowd. “You’re such a good diplomat! What did you say to them?!”

“Oh, y’know,” Applejack replied, gesturing with a hoof, “I was just honest! It’s what I’m the Spirit of, after all!” Everyone cheered except for Spike. Spike, who had exceptionally good hearing thanks to being a Dragon, had overheard Applejack’s ‘diplomacy’. He stood with his mouth agape in horror.

There was another person who wasn’t cheering, however. That person was Cloud, who had passed out in the street.

Cloud awoke in his bed, in the library’s attic that Twilight and Spike had helped him repurpose into a second bedroom. Though he felt at least vaguely rested, the sunlight burning his eyes didn’t fill him with confidence. Wow… I feel terrible. I need to drink as soon as I can. I agree. I’m very dehydrated, I need to get some water. That’s not the kind of ‘drink’ I think I need.

He climbed out of bed and had a long stretch before starting towards the door. Wait, no. Twilight said I need to practice using magic as much as I can to build endurance. Cloud lit up his horn and clumsily teleported to the kitchen, almost tearing himself apart at a molecular level. Woah! That wasn’t a great feeling. It’s a good thing Twilight taught me an advanced teleport spell with safety precautions, I’m too stupid for my own damn wellbeing. He spotted the mare in question across the room, eating toast and reading a newspaper.

“Twilight!” Cloud exclaimed. Twilight looked over to him.

“...Cloud?” She asked, unsure of how to reply.

“Twilight!” Cloud exclaimed again.

“What are you doing?”

“Being an ass. What time is it?”

“About nine o’clock,” she replied. “Spike said he found you unconscious outside yesterday and brought you in.”

“Yeah, I don’t really remember much from the last few days.” Cloud scratched the back of his head. “The last thing I remember is something about a turtle.” He pointed to the newspaper. ”What did I miss?”

“Not much,” Twilight replied, looking back at the paper. “Spike thinks Applejack is a racist.”

“Bah!” Cloud waved a hoof dismissively. “He’s just paranoid. Any actual news?”

“A stampede of Cows headed toward the town was stopped by Applejack, so the town’s having a party today in the name of overreacting, some weather companies are worried that somebody’s making counterfeit storm clouds and some Ponies in Canterlot think that Princess Luna is still evil, so they’re rioting.”

“Damn,” worried Cloud, “is anyone hurt?” Twilight scoffed.

“Canterlot Ponies, Cloud,” she said, “to them, rioting is spreading gossip at formal parties. Canterlot Ponies are idiots.” Cloud frowned in confusion.

“Aren’t you a Canterlot Pony?” He asked.

“My family moved there when I was about ten so I could study under Princess Celestia, but I’m actually from-”

“Cloud!” Spike cried out as he ran into the kitchen. Twilight frowned and rolled her eyes before going back to reading the paper. “Applejack is keeping foreigners out of Ponyville with threats of murder!”

“Don’t say mean mean things about people, Spike, you bigoted dickhole,” Cloud replied offhandedly as he made himself some breakfast.

“But I heard her!” Spike continued. “After she stopped the stampede, she…!” Cloud ignored him, happily singing a song under his breath as he finished making his breakfast.

“Chortle at the kooky, snortle at the spooky~!” He muttered.

“...But I was the only one who heard her!” Spike finished. Cloud took a bite out of his toasted grass sandwich.

“Spike,” he said, spitting bits of food across the room, “unless you can prove it, I don’t care.”

“Cloud!” Twilight cried angrily, giving Spike some hope. “Don’t make a mess on the floor! I’ll have to waste energy telling Spike to clean up!” Spike’s hope vanished, replaced by anger.

“Screw both of you!” Spike shouted, double flipping the bird. “I’ll find some damn proof!” He stormed out of the room.

“Geez,” said Cloud, “what an asshole.”

“I know, right?” Twilight replied, shaking her head.

After finishing breakfast, Cloud decided to see what Applejack’s party was like.

A crowd was gathered around a stage in front of the town hall. The building itself had been decorated with apple-based banners and posters, as well as plain ribbons and balloons. They missed out not using apple shaped balloons.

“I didn’t have time to make apple balloons, silly!” Squeaked Pinkie Pie, appearing out of thin air.

“I… didn’t say that out loud,” stated Cloud.

“You sure didn’t!” Pinkie exclaimed happily. There was a short pause.

“...How did you-?”

“That’s not important!” Pinkie laughed.

“I disagree!” Cloud retorted, freaking out slightly. Could she secretly be a Unicorn under that mane? Even then, telepathy is a powerful spell, so-

“Just try not to think about it!” Pinkie squeaked. “It’s not important to the plot!”

“What plot?! What are you plotting?!”

“Look!” Pinkie pointed to the stage everyone was crowded around. “The Mayor is about to make a speech!” He looked towards the stage and saw the Mayor exit the town hall and climb onto the stage.

“Wait, but how did you know she was going to-?!” Cloud stopped when he realised Pinkie had vanished. “WHAT THE F-?!”

“...And so,” finished the Mayor, ”without further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize Pony of Ponyville Award to our beloved guest of honor, a Pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!” She gestured towards some opening curtains, but they revealed, for the second time in a month, nobody. “Dammit, not again…”

“I’m here!” Called Applejack from the back of the crowd. She walked through the crowd, making her way towards the stage until she finally climbed up. There were a few strange, red splatters on her forehooves.

“Applejack, you’re late,” said the Mayor, slightly annoyed. “Why weren’t you here on time?”

“I was busy dealing dealing with that scum Zeb- Uh, I mean, I was… harvesting apples.” She nodded. “Yup.” The Mayor smiled.

“Oh, Applejack, ever the hard worker! Nopony deserves this reward as much as you do!”

“Seriously?!” Spike shouted from the crowd. “She pretty much just admitted that she’s-!”

“Why, thank you, Mayor!” Applejack exclaimed, cutting him off. “I’m proud to live in Ponyville!” She added, glaring daggers from her eyes at Spike. “Could I get somepony to help me take this trophy back to my farm?”

“I’ll help,” called Cloud before teleporting to the stage.

“Thank you kindly, Cloud! I’m glad somepony,” she glared at Spike again, “like you is around!”

“Alright, calm down,” said Cloud, lifting the trophy with a Support Circle. “I’m just carrying a trophy.”

The two of them headed to the farm, the trophy gliding alongside them.

Twilight was out for a walk while reading a book about different teaching methods. She soon found herself at Applejack’s farm. None of this information is very useful, my lessons are far too advanced for any of this. Twilight sighed and teleported the book back to the library. She was about to teleport herself back too, when she suddenly spotted Spike shrouded in the shrubbery.

“Spike,” she said, walking up to him, “stop being weird.”

“Shh!” Spike shushed. “Applejack will hear you!”

“Yes, being heard is generally the goal of talking.”

“No!” He exclaimed. “I can’t let her know I’m here!” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Okay; why can’t you let her know you’re here?” She played along. Spike pointed through the bush, clearly anxious about something. Twilight poked her head through the bush to see what Spike was pointing at.

“What am I supposed to be seeing here?” Twilight asked.

“Look!” Spike whisper-shouted.

“At what?!” She mockingly whisper-shouted back. Suddenly, she spotted what Spike was talking about. “Dammit.” She walked through the bush and towards Applejack, avoiding the red splashes on the ground. “Applejack!” Applejack jumped in surprise.

“T-Twilight?!” She exclaimed. “Uh, this isn’t what it looks like!” Twilight frowned.

“Applejack, I can’t believe it,” she spat, shaking her head, “using red paint on a wooden sign! Those colours clash!” Applejack looked at the sign she was holding, brandishing the words ‘ONLY PONIES IN PONYVILLE’.

“Uh, yeah, paint…”

“Also, don’t be racist,” Twilight added. “I know you’re an Earth Pony, but I didn’t think you’d be that stupid.”

“Well,” said Spike from his hiding spot, “at least I proved the Equines I was right.”

“Spike!” Cloud shouted as he passed Spike on the path away from the farm. “Don’t be so racist!”

“Go fuck yourself, Cloud.”

“I would if I could, but I can’t so I shan’t.”

Later that evening, Twilight, Cloud and Spike were back at the library. Sitting in various seats in the lobby.

“Well,” said Cloud, “today was a nice break from studying.” Twilight nodded.

“We’ll be back at it tomorrow,” Twilight replied, “so be sure to get plenty of rest.” She stood up. “Speaking of, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” She went upstairs, leaving Cloud and Spike alone.

“Hey, Spike,” said Cloud, “I’m sorry if I’m too much of an asshole at times. I act like a jerk, but it’s mostly just hyperbole for my own amusement. No hard feelings?”

“Suck my lizard dick, you shitty rectal cavity.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Brushing off the Dust

The day had finally come. After a week of interruptions varying from notebook destruction to arbitrary award ceremonies for minor feats, Twilight and Cloud were finally undisturbed, at least enough so that they could finally move on to telepathy.

“Alright,” began Twilight, “you understand the basic theory of casting, but I would like to do multiple tests: We still don’t know much about your Support Circle, but this could give us some idea of how much mental power can be converted to magic.”

“I agree,” Cloud replied, “I doubt I can cast telepathy by myself, so this will be a good way to gauge its power.”

The two of them were, as usual, in the lobby of the library. The centre of the room had been cleared as to give them space while Spike stood off to the side, ready to take notes for them.

“Okay, Cloud,” said Twilight, “please begin by trying to send me a telepathic message without the use of your Support Circle.”

Cloud steadied his breath, changed to a stance more suited for spellcasting and began channeling magic into his horn. Cloud tried to cast the spell, but his magic simply wasn't powerful enough. No!

Cloud gritted his teeth and redoubled his efforts, pouring as much magic as he could into his horn, desperately trying to fuel the spell. After a full minute of this, his horn fizzled out and his magic was expunged. He fell into a sitting position, gasping slightly.

“Dammit...” he muttered.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Twilight walked over to him and helped him up, “that was a… cute effort. In a few millennia, you might even be as strong as I was when I was twelve!” Cloud frowned.

“Oh, yeah, because it’s so easy to be Professor Neighvier!” He said snidely. Twilight snorted.

“Yes, actually…” She lit up her horn and, with very little effort, sent him a telepathic message: It really is. Cloud rolled his eyes.

“Show off.”

“Uh huh. Take a ten minute rest and try again.” And then turn my head and cough...

Four more failed attempts later, Cloud was exhausted.

“I think…” he gasped, “I think that’s about all I can do right now…” Twilight tutted.

“Amateur…” She mumbled. “Alright, go get some rest. Tomorrow we’ll begin testing with the Support Circle.” Cloud rolled his eyes before dragging himself towards the stairs. “Cloud! How many times do I have to keep telling you?! You need to use magic more! Teleport, dammit!” Cloud made a rude gesture before going back to dragging himself.

The next day, the testing continued. Everyone was back in position and ready to try again.

“Okay, Cloud,” said Twilight after doing some final checks to make sure everything was the same, “fail whenever you’re ready.”

“Eat dicks,” he casually replied, once again readying his stance. Once again, he steadied his breath, but, this time, summoned his Support Circle.

Now being boosted by the Circle, Cloud blasted magic into his horn. The telepathy spell exploded out of the end of his horn, slamming into Twilight and sending her the message: You’re a smug bastard! Twilight was pushed back slightly by the power of the spell, having not expected to succeed at all in the first place.

There were a couple of seconds of silence as Cloud dismissed the Support Circle.

“Well then,” began Twilight, “clearly that’s stronger than we anticipated.”

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed, breathing a little heavily. “That makes me much more powerful.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Twilight scoffed, “that’s still fairly basic compared to essentially anything I can do.”

“Wonderful.”

“Rest quickly, we need to see if we can reproduce the results.”

Like before, they tested it four more times. Unlike before, Cloud succeeded every time. None of the attempts were quite as violent as the first, though that was intentional.

“Looks like that confirms it,” Spike announced, writing down the results for the final test.

“Yes. You are stronger with your Support Circle boosting you,” Twilight analyzed, “however, it took you a second try to properly calibrate the boost to a level which helped you rather than hindered you.”

“Practice would fix that,” Cloud replied. “I’d need to try with a variety of spells, that way I could figure out how much to boost in any given situation. Problem is, I only know four and a half spells.” Twilight scratched her chin in thought.

“In that case, I’ll teach you a wider variety of simple, moderate and complex spells next.” She smirked. “Relative to you, of course." She chuckled at herself before returning to a serious expression. "Joking aside, this should also help build the power of your magic.” Cloud smiled.

“Good. How soon can we begin?”

“I’ll give you a book for simple spells,” Twilight continued, walking over to Spike and taking the notebook he was holding. “Before I can teach you anything stronger, I need to analyze this data and send Princess Celestia a progress report. It shouldn’t take more than a few days.”

“Wonderful.” Cloud glanced out of a window and noticed it was getting dark. “Well, I’m gonna get some sleep. I need to learn as much as I can tomorrow, not knowing many spells leaves you feeling very… defenseless.” Spike let out a quiet, dry laugh.

“And I thought I was supposed to be the baby here…” He muttered.

Cloud awoke the next day to find a dusty children’s spellbook on his bedside table. After brushing it off, he flicked through it and made note of a few spells:

Simple fire and water conjuring spells, very useful, a basic disorientation spell, okay, and a teeth whitening spell, very nice. Goodbye, dental hygiene! This doesn’t seem to affect health, it seems purely aesthetic.Maybe it’ll help me stop talking shit.

After his morning routine, Cloud went for a walk through Ponyville. He took the book with him, reading it as he walked. I’ll need to use Spike to test the disorientation spell, so I’ll save that for later. The fire and water spells seem like the most immediately useful to me, I should start with those.

As he walked, Cloud didn’t realise he was accidentally casting the fire conjuration spell as he was reading it. Why does my forehead feel so tingly? Wait- Oh shit! He managed to stop himself at the last second, but a couple of embers still escaped his horn. They fluttered through the air harmlessly, burning up after a couple of seconds. Hey! I stopped myself! Progress, woo!

“Hey!” Shouted a voice nearby. Cloud turned towards it to see a Gryphon. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Uh…” Cloud wasn’t sure how to reply. “Almost doing something stupid but then stopping it and causing no harm in the end?”

“You almost set me on fire, dickweed!” The Griffon continued shouting.

“No, I didn’t actually. Not even slightly.”

“Fuck you!” The Griffon shoved him backwards. Cloud sighed.

“Really? We’re doing this? Wouldn’t you rather just stop being an idiot and get on with your day?”

“You wanna start something, you stick-headed freak?!”

“Not particularly,” Cloud replied simply.

“Too late, asshole!” She went to punch him, but was almost immediately stopped by Cloud slapping her brain with the disorientation spell. The Griffon blinked a few times. “I… Huh…?”

“Stop being an idiot or you’ll get Applejack’s attention,” advised Cloud. “Nobody wants that.” As he walked away, the Griffon tried to go after him, only to stumble and fall. I wonder what would happen if I tried that on Pinkie? Nothing pleasant, I imagine.

Author's Note

Mostly just SCIENCE(!) this chapter, but it's laying the groundwork for later stuffs.

Battle of the Braggarts - Part 1

One week of practicing simple spells was enough to make Cloud feel less defenseless. It hadn’t been difficult at all for him to master the entire book, meaning that he now knew a fair variety of spells. These included basic fire, water and electricity conjuration, a teeth whitening spell, a disorientation spell, an illumination spell, a heat detection spell and a voice amplification spell. While he didn’t see uses for all of them, he had figured that it was a better idea to know and practice them, though not needing them, rather than not knowing them, getting less magical practice and needing them.

It was the day after Cloud had finished learning the basic spells Twilight had given him. He had just teleported downstairs to the kitchen and had begun making breakfast when Twilight, sitting at the table with a newspaper, a mug of coffee and a plate of toast, greeted him.

“Good morning, Cloud,” Twilight called over.

“Good morning, Twilight,” Cloud replied.

“No sarcastic comment? I’m surprised.”

“Too early,” Cloud said, slightly groggily, shaking his head. “I finished learning those basic spells yesterday.”

“It took you a week?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. Cloud rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, joke’s getting old. Anyway, the electricity conjuring was the easiest by far.”

“Then you probably have a magical unbalancing towards electrical magic.”

“Magical unbalancing…?” Cloud paused for a moment. Where have I heard that-? Oh! “I think I read about that a while ago - the book referred to ‘magical flavouring’?” Twilight snorted somewhat snobbishly.

“A childish term,” she began, “but yes, that’s what I’m talking about. Imagine a colour wheel, if you will.”

“Alright.”

“The centre is white; a mixture of all colours. If you go any distance from the centre, you will end up with some kind of tint. Magical purity is similar; pure magic is a mixture of all magic. Everything cancels out something else, so you end up with neutral magic. Ninety nine percent of Unicorns have a ‘tint’ or ‘flavour’ of some kind, so their magic is slightly more of one element than any other. Yours seems to be electricity.”

“Good to know,” said Cloud. “What’s your ‘flavour’?” Twilight smirked.

“I don’t have one, obviously,” she bragged, “my talent is pure magic, so don’t have, and have never had, any kind of tint.” Twilight closed her eyes, feeling proud of herself. Cloud made a rude gesture. I saw that, she thought at him telepathically.

“Any interesting news?” Cloud asked, trying to change the subject as he made breakfast.

“There’s still a big deal being made about those supposedly counterfeit storm clouds,” Twilight said after taking a gulp from her coffee. “Personally I think it’s an insurance scam, they still haven’t cleared them yet.” As she talked, Cloud poured himself a bowl of HorseBalls™. “There isn’t much else going on; the Canterlot ‘riots’ have decreased somewhat and there are some monster migrations happening close to Ponyville.”

“You really have to question why people would build a town directly next to an incredibly dangerous forest,” commented Cloud, opening the fridge. “Ah, crap, we’re out of milk.”

“There’s a bag of money in my room,” said Twilight, not looking up from her paper.

“Thanks. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Have fun.”

Cloud left with money to get some milk.

On the way to the grocery store, Cloud spotted Spike talking to a couple of young Unicorns. Approaching them, he overheard some of their conversation.

“They say that she’s got more magical powers than any other Unicorn ever!” Exclaimed one of the Unicorns.

“What?” Spike asked. “That’s impossible! There’s no way she’s stronger than Twilight.”

“Hey, Spike,” Cloud greeted. “Who’re you talking about?” Spike looked towards him.

“Hey, Cloud. Apparently there’s a new Unicorn in town that knows more than three spells.”

“I heard she knows four!” Exclaimed the other young Unicorn.

“That’s… nice?” Cloud replied. He looked back at Spike. “Are normal Unicorns usually that bad at learning spells?”

“Not really,” said Spike. “Most just don’t bother to study magic.”

“Huh.” He looked to the Unicorns again. “Where is this Unicorn?”

“She’s in the town square!” One of them exclaimed. “Come on!” He ran past Cloud and the other quickly followed. Eh, what the hell. Cloud ran after them, Spike not far behind him

Cloud and Spike reached the town square and saw a Gypsy caravan surrounded by, what else, a crowd.

“Come one! Come all!” Announced an amplified voice from inside the caravan. “Come and witness the amazing magic,” as the voice spoke, the caravan unfolded into a stage, “of the great and powerful Trixie!” There was a loud bang, a cloud of smoke and a sparkle before a mare in a wizard’s hat and cape appeared. “Watch in awe as the great and powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by Pony eyes!”

“Oh,” said Cloud, somewhat disappointed, “just a magic show.” I’m not sure what I was expecting, thinking back on it.Back to buying milk. He turned to leave, but one of the young Unicorns Spike had been speaking to earlier decided to yell something that stopped him.

“Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awesome Unicorn in Ponyville!” The Unicorn yelled. Cloud turned back around to see the Unicorn on stage looking extraordinarily proud of herself. Yeah, no, the idiots in this town will believe anything, I’m not letting them believe that.

It seemed that he was wrong, however, as other Ponies muttering in the crowd didn’t sound so sure.

“Don’t believe the great and powerful Trixie?” She asked the crowd, chuckling. “Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians: Anything you can do, I can do better! Any takers? Anyone? Hm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?” She laughed, setting off fireworks planted backstage. As the fireworks finished, Cloud teleported onto the stage.

“Yeah, okay,” he answered.

“Oh!” Trixie exclaimed. “A challenger! Well then, Sir! What do you think you can do that the great Trixie can’t?!”

“I can fly.” Cloud summoned his Support Circle and hovered a metre off of the ground.

“Hah! Pathetic!” Trixie focused for a moment, then lifted herself into the air with telekinesis. “This simpleton thinks he can best me with the simplest of tricks!” The crowd laughed. Cloud sighed. Fine.

Cloud channeled his magic and cast his disorientation spell, but Trixie cast a counter spell. The two spells clashed, both Unicorns fighting for power. Cloud was about to boost himself using his Support Circle, when Trixie pulled some dirt out of a pocket and threw it into his eyes. Agh! What the crap?!

The dust broke his concentration and Trixie countered his disorientation spell, sending it right back at him. Cloud felt his brain be slapped by magic, making him completely lose focus. What happened next was something he didn’t expect: Instead of being dismissed in its usual way, his Support Circle shattered underneath him, breaking into pieces which dissolved into sparkles of magic and vanished. He didn’t have time to think about it, however, as he immediately fell to the ground and smacked his head against the ground. Fuck! Ow!

Trixie laughed, still hovering in the air.

“You see?!” She asked the crowd. “There’s nothing the great and powerful Trixie cannot do!” Cloud grit his teeth in anger, losing control of his emotions.

“Oh yeah?!” He shouted as his horn began to glow red. “Try countering this!” He was about to fire a magic bolt at her, but he suddenly found himself inside the library. W-What? Twilight quickly teleported in front of him.

“Dammit, Cloud!” Twilight growled. “What the Tartarus were you about to do?!”

“Vent anger!” He shouted. “In what kind of magic show does the host laugh when an audience member get concussed?!”

“A terrible magic show that barely involves magic!” Twilight shouted back. “But that’s no excuse to attack her! You could have done some serious damage to her!”

“I know! That was the intention!”

Twilight slapped him.

There was silence that felt like an eternity.

“You need to stay in control of your emotions!” Twilight shouted, breaking the silence. “You’re going to seriously hurt someone if you keep being so reckless!”

“Fuck you, Twilight!” Cloud bellowed. “You’re just as bad as that bitch out there! You act all high and mighty now, but you brag just as much! Hell, you brag more!”

“So, what, are you going to attack me now?!”

“I was only going to attack her because she attacked me first!”

“Bullshit!” Twilight pushed him. “I saw what you were doing! You were trying to do the exact same thing to her! I bet you would’ve acted the same way if you’d succeeded too, you goddamn hypocrite!”

“Oh, so I’m the hypocrite?! You keep going on about me attacking her, but what have you been doing this whole time?!” Cloud pushed her back. Twilight snarled before blasting him with a wave of telekinesis, powerful enough to send him flying into the bookcase behind him. She suddenly calmed down somewhat, realising what she’d done.

“Oh my god, Cloud, I’m so sorry!” Twilight rushed over to him, trying to help him up, panicking as she saw he was bleeding from his right temple.

“Get the fuck away from me!” Cloud snarled, pushing her away and getting up himself. He stormed towards the front door before turning back to her one last time. “You’re a fucking freak!” He turned back and left, slamming the door behind him and leaving Twilight alone.

Author's Note

Drama! :pinkiegasp:

Battle of the Braggarts - Part 2

Cloud needed to be alone, and he needed to be alone for a long time. It was because of this that he had run deep into the Everfree Forest. After a lot of violent outbursts on the local fauna and rocks, he had calmed down enough to simply walk in circles and work through his angry thoughts.

By the time he had finally burnt through all of his anger, it had become nighttime. Cloud sighed and sat on the ground, rubbing his face with his hooves.

“Dammit…” He muttered to himself. “I’m such a fucking idiot…” He took a deep breath and dropped his hooves to his sides. “Okay, me, let’s do a quick analysis of the situation: I couldn’t live and let live, I tried to do something dickish, the dickish thing backfired, Twilight stopped me from attacking someone, I treated Twilight horribly and I stormed out like a child!”

He lay on his back and looked up at the stars through a small clearing in the trees. I started this whole thing like an idiot, I fueled the bad situation like an idiot and I ran away from the situation like an idiot. He lay there for a while longer, feeling too ashamed of himself to notice his hunger.

“Well,” he continued talking to himself, “the only thing I can do now is apologize, hope Twilight can forgive me and try to learn something from this whole ordeal. And…” He sighed again, figuratively swallowing his pride. “I should apologize to Trixie, too. Just because she was being unbearable is no excuse for me to act the same.” He rolled onto his front and stood up before walking back towards Ponyville.

It’s worrying how childish I act when I lose control. It’s definitely an issue I need to get sorted out. Maybe Twilight can ask the Princess to get me a therapist. Ugh… Twilight… I really screwed things up… Worst case scenario; she kicks me out and refuses to teach me anymore. This isn’t making me feel better.

Cloud kicked a rock as he walked.

“I’m a terrible friend,” he muttered.

Twilight paced back and forth in her room, chewing her lip.

“Twilight, you need to calm down,” said Spike, “I’m sure he’ll come back soon.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Twilight asked, worried. “I hurt him Spike. What kind of person attacks their friends?” Spike frowned.

“The kind being aggravated by a terrible person! He said some horrible things to you!”

“Yes, and I said some equally horrible things back, but he didn’t attack me!”

“No, he was going to attack Trixie!” Spike shouted. “If you hadn’t have stopped him-!”

“I know! I know! But-!”

“Oh, forget it!” Spike walked towards the door. “You need to stop putting others before yourself, Twi!” Spike left before Twilight could reply. Twilight groaned and went back to pacing.

As Spike walked down the street, he saw Snips and Snails, the two young Unicorns he had been speaking to earlier, running in his direction and screaming.

“Guys?” He asked as they ran past him.

“Can’t talk now!” Cried Snips. Spike didn’t have to ask why; an ursa minor was charging after them, smashing anything in its way.

“HOLY SHIT!” Spike ran after Snips and Snails, but took a detour to get back to the library.

“Twilight!” He called as soon as he got through the doorway. “Ursa major! Ursa major!”

Twilight wasted no time teleporting outside. She quickly spotted the ursa minor rampaging deeper into town and teleported much closer to it. It easily towered over every building in Ponyville, a fact that didn’t fill Twilight with confidence.

“Uh…” She whimpered. “Shit…” How in Equestria am I supposed to deal with this nonsense?!

Before she could continue worrying, Twilight suddenly felt a very strange feeling coming from beneath her. She looked down to see the Support Circle channeling magical energy into her.

“Twilight!” Cloud called from behind her. Twilight her head and spotted him. “Tear this bear a new one!” Twilight’s expression turned to one of determination. She nodded, turned back to the ursa minor and blasted every bit of magic she had into her horn until it looked like lit thermite.

Twilight focused, then lifted the ursa minor into the air with an incredibly powerful telekinesis spell. She ignored its thrashing and roaring and used another incredibly powerful telekinesis spell to pull away the air around the ursa minor’s mouth and nose. With the extra energy from the Circle, Twilight focused her first telekinesis spell even further, keeping the ursa minor completely still until it fell unconscious from lack of oxygen. Finally, Twilight let it breath again and carried it deep into the Everfree with even more telekinesis. She dropped it when she guessed it was deep enough, leaving it unconscious and away from Ponyville.

As the Support Circle was dismissed, Twilight collapsed, exhausted. She was breathing very heavily and her horn was smoking slightly. As Ponies around her cheered, Cloud walked over to her and helped her up. Twilight smiled and gladly accepted.

“Twilight,” Cloud began, “I-”

“I know,” she interrupted, still gasping for air. “It’s okay.” Cloud shook his head.

“No. No it isn’t. I acted like an immature brat and said some horrible things to you. There’s no excuse for my actions and all I can do is apologize. I’m sorry, Twilight. I understand if you don’t want to teach me anymore.”

“Cloud,” said Twilight, “of course I’ll keep teaching you. Yes, you were mean, but we both already know that you have a hard time controlling your emotions.”

“That’s no excuse, I still need to make it up to you in some way. I-”

“Cloud, don’t be such a pussy. Let’s go back home so I can keep showing you how terrible you are at magic.” Twilight smirked and Cloud smirked right back.

“Alright.”

The two of them headed back to the library, leaving the town to deal with its own property damage.

Twilight and Cloud walked into the kitchen.

“So,” said Cloud, “what are you gonna teach me next?” Twilight thought to herself for a moment.

“We’ve definitely increased your magical abilities,” she noted, “so I think we should spend some more time researching the Support Circle. After I sent Princess Celestia the progress report, she sent back some experiments we should try.”

“Such as?” Cloud asked.

“She theorised that, with time and study, you may be able to learn how to summon other kinds of condensed magical energy.”

“Interesting… That could lead us to-” Cloud suddenly stopped, his expression going blank. “Wait… Oh, fuck!”

“What is it?” Twilight asked, bewildered. “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot the goddamn milk!”

...And so, Cloud’s HorseBalls™ remained dry and his stomach remained empty.

A Debt Owed

Cloud found himself floating through a dark void. Uh… Where am I? How did I get here?The last thing I remember is… Oh! The ursa minor. I helped Twilight with that, then we went back to the library and discussed what lessons should come next. I hadn’t eaten all day and forgot to get the milk, so I lay in bed and drank cider until I passed out. Thinking back on it, not a great decision… But none of that explains how I got here, or where ‘here’ even is…

Looking around, Cloud noticed flecks of white in the far distance of every direction. So… am I in space?

“By some definitions, you are correct,” announced a mysterious female voice. “However, what you fail to realise is that you are dreaming.” In front of him appeared a tall, blue mare dressed in regal attire: Princess Luna. She walked through the void as if walking on solid land.

Though he had heard of her reformation, Cloud had never seen Princess Luna outside of her Nightmare Moon transformation and, as such, did not recognise her.

“Alright,” said Cloud, “I suppose that answers a couple of questions. Who are you?”

“I am Princess Luna,” she replied, slowly yet clearly. “A few weeks ago, you assisted the Spirits of Harmony in the defeat of my…” she paused for a moment, searching her mind for a suitable term, “corrupted form.”

“Oh.” There was a short pause. “So… did you just wanna hang out, or-?”

“I feel that you are owed a debt,” she interrupted. “Upon my defeat, the Spirits of Harmony were recognised as such: The walkers of the ancient prophecy. To the world, all of Equestria and lands beyond, they became heroines.” A stained glass window of the six Spirits appeared beside the Princess.

“...And?” Cloud asked. “Do you think I deserve recognition or something? All I did was hold you off for a while so Twilight could-”

“What you did was no minor feat. Yet, they give the Spirit of Magic’s servant more recognition.”

“Bah! That was just a political move,” he waved his hoof dismissively. “And anyway, even if I didn’t get ‘recognition’, I was still rewarded. Twilight’s teaching me magic and helping me learn more about my special talent.”

“But would she not have helped you regardless of whether or not you assisted her?”

“I doubt it, she’s not the most social person in the world.”

“And yet she was social enough to learn of your situation earlier and was intrigued.”

“Okay, I get it!” Cloud exclaimed. “What’s your point?”

“My ‘point’ is this; I feel that you are owed a debt-”

“You’ve already said that.”

“-and,” she continued, ignoring him, “since my sister does not seem to agree, I shall repay it myself.”

“Oh,” Cloud said, grinning and flexing his eyebrows. “Well, I’m already at half m-”

“To do this, beginning tonight and continuing for the foreseeable future, I shall train you in hoof to hoof combat.”

“O-Oh… Okay.”

“What?” The Princess asked. “What is it you were expecting?”

“That’s not important. On a completely unrelated note, please ignore my crotch.” There was an awkward silence.

“Anyway,” she moved on, “whenever you enter the realm of dreams, my realm, I shall continue to train you.” Her eyes flashed blue for a moment as the scenery changed. They were now in some kind of training ground, though the sky remained as dark. It was only because of a few lit torches scattered around that they could see.

“There’s something I don’t really understand,” Cloud began. “You’re a Princess, right? So what would you know about combat?” The Princess replied by breaking his nose in a single punch. Cloud fell to the ground, yelling profanities. “THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER! THAT’S JUST VIOLENCE!”

“Oh, were you not being rhetorical?” She asked.

“NO! I GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW!”

“I see. In that case, I apologise.” Her eyes glowed again and Cloud was suddenly relieved of pain. It took him only a moment longer to realise his nose was fixed too. “Over a thousand years ago, my sister and I were much more strict with training our soldiers. Of course, they required an effective Battlemaster to train them.”

“You were the Battlemaster?” Cloud asked.

“No. I was the Battlemaster’s Battlemaster. I beat them bloody and they responded in kind onto their troops.” She smiled as if feeling nostalgic. “It was surprisingly effective. So much so that some of our enemies, such as a tyrannical leader by the name of King Sombra, took the... how do you say it now? 'Easy way out'.”

“This is all fascinating, but I don’t understand how training in my dreams will affect anything. My body won’t train along with my mind, so it won’t matter in the end.”

“This is where my magic is especially effective: I am familiar with a spell, created by myself, that forcibly changes the physical body of a Pony. However, this only affects the body in realistic ways, such as training. It would be physically impossible for me to morph your body in magical ways and have those changes become real.”

“But then how does it work?” Cloud asked, getting lost in exposition. “Even if we trained realistically, it’s still impossible, right?” Princess Luna shook her head.

“No. The spell breaks down unused tissue, excess fat for instance, and transmutes it into tissue gained during dreams. Please remember that this means you must eat twice as much food for you to have enough matter within your body.”

“Okay, I call bullshit on you learning so much modern science in only three weeks and being able to apply it to your spells!” Cloud exclaimed. “Also, this is all still literally impossible!” The Princess smiled smugly.

“Not if you’re a God.” She suddenly stiffened up, an intense expression on her face. “Now then! Fight me!” She decked him again, breaking his nose a second time as Cloud fell to the floor a second time.

“I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS!”

From that night onward, Princess Luna began to train Cloud to fight.

Things Were Dragon On

The ursa minor incident left Ponyville more than a little damaged. Unlike the Nightmare Moon incident however, no help was sent from Canterlot to aid in the rebuilding, meaning that Ponyville would remained damaged for quite a while longer. It was because of this fact that, two weeks after the attack, downtown Ponyville was closed off to the public.

Twilight and Cloud had been studying and experimenting with the Support Circle for those two weeks with little success. Though Cloud was now fairly quick at summoning, dismissing and using the Circle, neither he nor Twilight had learnt anything new about his ability.

Regardless, Twilight refused to stop trying.

Cloud sat at the kitchen table, his head slumped on the surface. His body ached from both Twilight’s various experiments as well as Princess Luna’s nighttime combat training. There was a silver lining to the training, of course; not only was he very slowly learning how to defend himself, he was also, though at an even slower rate, getting into decent shape.

This is bullshit… I’m becoming better physically and magically, I shouldn’t complain. Especially since my mind is still feeling rested after sleep, even if my body isn’t. Exactly! I’m getting stress from a bunch of different things but I have no reason to complain! How am I supposed to justify being grumpy?!

Before he could answer his own question, Twilight walked in wearing a pair of saddlebags.

“Cloud,” she began suddenly, “stop being a grumpy asshole, we have a national emergency.”

“What do you mean?” Cloud asked, ignoring the blatant insult.

“Remember those illegitimate storm clouds that have been in the news recently? The ones suspected to be part of an insurance scam?” As Twilight talked, she began collecting some food and placing it into the saddlebags she was wearing.

“Are weather manufacturers refusing to get rid of them?”

“No,” Twilight replied, shaking her head. “They aren’t clouds at all; it’s Dragon smoke.”

“And…? Why is that bad?” Cloud stood up and stretched out, relieving the aching somewhat. “Can’t it just be cleared like clouds anyway?”

“Pegasi-made clouds are imbued with magic,” she explained, ”which is why they can be cleared at all. Clouds that aren’t Pegasi-made can still be cleared by a Pegasus, but they use their natural magic to do so. Dragon smoke has magical properties of its own, properties that make it unable to be enchanted by Pegasus magic. Also, it blocks out light even better than you block out me telling you to pick up a damn book to learn these things yourself-”

“I see,” Cloud interrupted, scratching his chin, “if it keeps spreading, it’ll cause major problems for crops.” Not minor like the ursa. ”In that case, the first thing that needs to be done is deal with the source, but then how will they get rid of the smoke? Will it disperse by itself if it stops being produced?”

“Correct on all accounts,” Twilight praised, smiling as she continued packing her saddlebags, “but what do you mean ‘they’? This is our problem.” Cloud blinked.

“Excuse me?”

Twilight walked out of the kitchen to continue packing her bags and Cloud followed.

“What do you mean ‘our problem’?” He asked. “You mean the Spirits’ problem, right? Gonna spray your friendship all over that Dragon’s face?”

“Ugh! Don’t be so disgusting!” She exclaimed, practically retching. “And no, I meant our problem; the Princess - Princess Celestia I mean - specifically asked me to deal with this in whatever way I deemed fit.”

“And you deemed that using the Spirits is the fastest and most effective solution, right?”

“No,” Twilight scowled, “I deemed that the two of us would be more than enough to deal with this situation.”

“Are you serious?!” Cloud shouted. “The only ‘Dragon fighting’ experience I have is that time I scooped Spike up in a cat carrier! It didn’t even work! He just sent it to Celestia! And then the little bastard set my bedroom on fire!” So glad I learnt that water conjuring spell...

“Princess Celestia, Cloud,” Twilight corrected as she closed her bags, “and that fire was your own fault. Anyway, I have a plan for how to deal with it. Just trust me.” Cloud sighed.

“Fine, but you owe me a drink.”

Twilight and Cloud stood at the base of the mountain which housed the Dragon in question.

Twilight was wearing a pair of saddlebags emblazoned with her cutie mark, filled with books, food and anything she thought could help them along the way. Cloud was wearing a grumpy face.

“It’s around twelve thirty now,” Twilight remarked, “so if we assume that we can climb without any issue, we should make it to the peak at approximately five o’clock.”

“Uh, Twilight?” Cloud asked, realising what she hadn’t.

“However, it’s unlikely we’ll avoid any kind of complications, so it’s safe to say that our arrival will be closer to seven o’clock.”

“Twilight?”

“There are many kinds of complications we could run into. If we take that into account, then the absolute worst time we can reach the peak is three o’clock tomorrow.”

“Twilight, we can just-”

“Of course, that calculation has the issue of assuming that we can’t set up a camp for a night. If we assume that we can, then-”

Cloud summoned a large Support Circle under their hooves and willed it to fly upwards. Twilight stumbled in surprise, but was unable to fall over thanks to being rooted.

“I can get us to the top in four minutes, Twilight,” said Cloud. “It’s only a couple of miles high.”

“I… didn’t think about that,” admitted Twilight. She smiled after a moment. “Yes, this is much better than climbing.”

“Getting a little jealous of Pegasi there?”

“Just focus on flying.”

Four minutes later, they had arrived at the peak. A large cave opening stood before them, filled with darkness. Though the surrounding rock was thoroughly wrapped in moss, it was a minor detail in comparison to the impossibly thick black smoke pouring out at a steady rate.

“You mentioned you had a plan,” said Cloud, not looking away from the cave entrance. “Now would be the time to tell it.” He glanced over to Twilight who, surprisingly, looked terrified.

“I, uh…” she gulped, “I was admittedly a little, ah… intoxicated at the time of making the plan and… may have been hoping to think of a new one while climbing the mountain…” A few moments passed.

“But you weren’t, right?” Cloud asked through gritted teeth. “Because that would leave us alone facing off against a fucking Dragon.”

“It’s okay!” Twilight threw of her bags and rummaged around in them. “There’s no problem! No problem at all!” Her eye twitched. “I-I’m sure my old plan will still work just fine!” She pulled out an oddly shaped bottle of blue liquid and shoved it into Cloud’s grasp. “If you drink this shrinking potion, you can go down the Dragon’s throat and defeat it from the inside!”

“Twilight, this is mouthwash.”

“Then Equestria will be safe,” she continued, ignoring him, as she paced in circles ”the Princess will be proud, and nobody will die thanks to me not having a good plan and OH GODDESS EVERYPONY’S GONNA DIE HOLY SH-!” Cloud slapped her, snapping her out of it.

Twilight stood unmoving for a few seconds before blinking and exhaling.

“You feeling better now?” Cloud asked.

“Yes. Thank you.” A few more seconds passed. “I’m going to try talking to it.” Twilight began walking towards the cave.

“Twilight, stop!” Cloud shouted, holding her in a telekinetic grasp. Twilight quickly and easily countered the spell, barely noticing that Cloud had cast it at all. The counter effect knocked Cloud onto his ass. He sighed. “Fuck it, Plan B.”

Cloud summoned a Support Circle and quickly boosted himself before firing his red, magical beam at the roof of the cave. Focusing, he was able to keep up the spell for a good thirty seconds, blasting through stone as he moved his aim around until finally the mountain could take no more: There was a thunderous CRACK followed by the falling of rock as an avalanche buried the cave entrance under its rubble.

Twilight and Cloud stood unmoving. Their ears rang from the absurdly loud sounds, but the silence that followed seemed louder still. After a good few minutes, Twilight spoke.

“Well,” she began slowly, “I suppose that does take care of the smoke problem…”

Sure enough, no more smoke was coming from the cave. The Dragon had been trapped inside.

Back at the library once again, the duo had made it back just in time to take the dinner Spike had made for himself.

“...But it’s my pizza!” Spike complained as they ate his hard work. “Why the hell do you two think you can just take it from me?!”

“You need to eat healthier,” Twilight lied between bites. “I wouldn’t have let you eat this under normal circumstances anyway.”

“Yeah, which was why I made it while you were supposed to be climbing a mountain…” He muttered under his breath.

“Spike,” began Cloud, “we stopped a Dragon from killing everyone in Equestria - we deserve some unhealthy goodness. What did you do today?”

“I taught myself how to make pizza!” Spike shouted.

“So that’s why it tastes like shit.” Cloud shoved more pizza into his face. Spike smirked slyfuly.

“Actually, that’s because I washed the plates with toilet water!” He announced triumphantly. For the final time that day, there was yet another moment of silence.

“Dammit.”

Author's Note

In case anyone's annoyed at how things were sorted out; it's good to know that lazy solutions have consequences... :moustache:

Regret

The moon hung in the sky, sending glimmering light across Equestria and lands beyond.

Atop a mountain close to Ponyville, a trio of Princess Celestia’s least valuable Royal Guards stood close to a certain blocked cavern. They had been sent for a not-so-simple mission; to arrest the Dragon that had been causing the recent weather issues. Twilight Sparkle had contained it well enough and, with a letter to the Princess, the team had been sent to clean up the mess.

As the leader began to discuss tactics, however, he was cut off by a sudden rumbling…

Cloud lay curled in the fetal position in a field of grass as Princess Luna continuously kicked him in the head.

“HOW IS THIS ANY KIND OF TRAINING?!” He screamed as the awful headache grow worse and worse.

“I am helping you build a tolerance to pain, imbecile!” The Princess cried, kicking him harder.

“FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN HELP! THIS ISN’T HELP! THIS ISN’T ANY KIND OF REWARD!”

“Bah! You mortals always speak of this, yet when the training is done you always regret your words!”

“EAT A DI-!”

The two’s argument was cut short by a sudden rumbling, both audible and physical. They looked around in confusion, but saw no clues as to what was happening.

“What is that?” Cloud asking, shakily climbing to his feet, struggling from both the rumbling as well as the simulated brain damage.

“I do not know,” the Princess replied. “However, it appears to be emanating from the physical realm. Perhaps an earthquake or avalanche?”

“Probably the latter; I trapped a Dragon in a cave earlier today by causing a cave in. It probably loosened some rock.” The Princess didn’t reply as she was deep in thought, so Cloud took the time to stretch out. This training is bullshit.

A few moments later, the rumbling subsided. Princess Luna remained deep in thought for a while longer, only stopping when asked a question by Cloud.

“Can we please go back to you actually teaching me to fight?” He asked. Princess Luna huffed as she glared at him.

“This is me teaching you, foal,” she spat.”If you do not have a tolerance for pain, you cannot prevail in any fight where you take any damage.”

“But if I learn to not take damage, I won’t need to learn how to take damage.”

Princess Luna glared at him for a while longer before sighing and closing her eyes.

“Very well. I am certain it shall lead to you demise, but I shall teach you techniques first. I warn you now, however, skipping this part of your training will only hinder your progress, and greatly. It is not only passing your conditioning to pain, but also to your physical strengthening.”

“I don’t care,” Cloud replied honestly as his headache quickly faded, “I would much rather learn offence before defence.”

“You are speaking as a fool.”

”So, what do I learn first?” He asked, ignoring her. The Princess was silent for a moment before answering.

“Try to punch me,” she asked simply.

“Alright.” Cloud tried throwing a punch at Princess Luna, only for her to bash his hoof towards his body, grab ahold of his foreleg and yank on it, roughly dislocating it at the shoulder with a crunch.

“This is the first technique I shall teach you,” said Princess Luna to Cloud, who was back in the fetal position. She fixed his leg with dream-magic and pulled him back onto his hooves, ignoring his vulgar language. “Now, try it on me!”

She threw a punch at him. Cloud tried to counter it as she did, but reacted far too late and was soon back on the ground, now with shattered, bloody teeth.

It was many hours until dawn, and Princess Luna hadn’t wasted a second of them.

Even as he woke without feeling any physical pain, Cloud still felt just as horrible in his mind. In the end, he had failed to pull off the counter technique. It’s strange that Luna was so willing to move on when I asked, she hasn’t displayed behaviour like that before last night. It looked like that earthquake put a lot on her mind. She’s probably just desensitised to them after those thousand years on the moon. Then again… Can there be earthquakes on the moon? Well, whatever. If I’m lucky, she won’t go back to pain training for a while.

After shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Cloud began his morning routine as normal and teleported to the kitchen for breakfast. For the first time in his stay at the library, nobody seemed to be home. Cloud shrugged and continued with his routine, making breakfast before going to brush his teeth. Once that was done, he went back to the kitchen to read the newspaper that Twilight would always leave on the table.

Yet the table was bare.

“She probably hasn’t gotten out of bed,” Cloud said to himself. “She seemed pretty stressed yesterday.” He began walking to the front door. “I doubt Spike ever gets up before her, so he’s probably asl-” He stopped in his tracks as he heard the sound of a distant, thunderous roar followed by screams.

Cloud teleported outside. Ignoring the screaming crowds of Ponies running through the streets, he looked to the sky to see a red Dragon soaring towards Ponyville. Okay, so, Plan B didn’t work out great.

All of a sudden, Cloud received a telepathic message: Cloud, I’ve figured out a way to stop the Dragon, but I need your help.

Twilight? He thought back. Where are you?

That doesn’t matter, this is the only way we can properly communicate with everyone freaking out.

What do you need my help with?

I need you to keep the Dragon busy for a few minutes.

What?! For how long?

You’ll know when to stop.

What are you talking about?! I suppose ‘thinking about’ would be the better phrasing here. There was no reply. Twilight! Dammit, she’s stopped the spell!

The Dragon landed a couple of streets away, but Cloud had no trouble seeing it towering over buildings. It wasted no time in setting things on fire and tearing both buildings and Ponies to shreds without bias. Cloud groaned in exasperation before summoning a Support Circle and flying towards it. He stopped when he was close, but stayed hovering in the air.

“HEY!” Cloud bellowed, getting the Dragon’s attention. “I’M THE FUCKER THAT TRAPPED YOU IN THAT CAVE!”

The Dragon roared in reply and swiped at him with a claw. Cloud easily dodged it by flying around it. Yep, that got its attention. Okay, here we go!

Cloud fired a regular magic bolt at the Dragon’s torso, but its scales reflected the attack in an instant, sending it slamming into the ground. Speeding around it to avoid any attacks it could try, Cloud continued firing magic bolts, trying to find any weakness in the Dragon’s armour. The Dragon ignited the air with a breath of flames, too wide for him to dodge, so Cloud cast his water conjuration spell which created enough of a gap for him to fly through and get clear.

Trying a new tactic, Cloud zoomed at maximum speed towards the Dragon’s face, charging a boosted magic bolt all the while. At the last second, he released the attack, blasting the Dragon at point-blank range. The Dragon roared in pain as a few of its precious scales crumbled away, revealing a fleshy spot for Cloud to attack.

The spot was too small a target to hit from the range he had been flying at, so Cloud circled around and prepared to do the same thing again, but this time the Dragon was ready: It swung its gargantuan claw at Cloud, putting the power of its whole body behind it. Cloud managed to dodge the swipe, but the Dragon followed it up by turning its entire body and, using the momentum, unleashed a bludgeoning from its tail that Cloud didn’t see until it was too late. The tail hit him directly with enough force to smash his Support Circle and send him hurtling to the ground.

After a blood curdling crack of bones shattering, Cloud lay unmoving - broken and defeated.

The Dragon reached down with its head to eat his remains and truly claim victory over its antagoniser, but stopped as it heard a roar to compete with its own. It looked around to find the source of the noise to see none other than an ursa minor being flown towards it, held up by Twilight’s magic. She dropped it just in front of the Dragon, crushing a house, but the effect was instant: The Dragon roared and began attacking the ursa, and the ursa responded in kind.

“Hah!” Twilight cried, grinning at her success. “This will distract it long enough to-” Her grin quickly ended as she spotted Cloud’s bloody figure lying close to the Dragon. “No…!” Twilight began running towards him before remembering how bad of an idea it was to do that as dozens of buildings were crushed, burned and generally reduced to rubble.

Suddenly remembering she was Princess Celestia’s apprentice and strong enough to carry an ursa Minor, Twilight simply teleported Cloud to her. She picked up his body in a telekinetic grasp and began running away towards the train station to join the evacuations. Before she could get too far away, however, the Dragon pinned down the ursa minor, tore out its throat and blocked Twilight’s path with a claw.

“You insolent pest!” The Dragon growled as Twilight turned to face it. “Did you honestly think a mindless beast could stop a being such as I from unleashing my wrath upon this pathetic mortal construct?!” Twilight swallowed her fear and summoned all the courage she could.

“Knowing how to use a thesaurus doesn’t make you intelligent, you dumbass!” She yelled, stalling for time. “And what makes you think you’re any better than any other stupid Dragon?!”

Before the Dragon could reply, something let out a roar - a roar that made the Dragon’s sound like a moth’s wing beat. A roar that gave everyone in Ponyville moderate tinnitus after making them wince slightly. A roar that was of a higher volume than that of a lesser roar.

From the edge of the Everfree it rose, a creature more powerful and destructive than anything in the world save for Gods and Demons. To say that it towered over the Dragon would be an understatement.

“And for the record,” Twilight continued, “no; I didn’t expect the ursa minor could stop you! I expect this to stop you!”

Hunched over and walking on two legs, heading straight toward the Dragon that killed its child, came a truly powerful being:

An ursa major.

With a snarl, the Dragon flew upwards and let loose its most powerful bout of fire, engulfing the ursa’s entire face in its incredible power for a full minute. It was an unrelenting attack, something that surely no mortal being could ever survive.

The ursa major leant forward slightly and swallowed the Dragon whole.

Twilight grinned at her success. She had outsmarted a Dragon by bringing a much more dangerous creature to it! A much, much more dangerous creature! A creature so unstoppably powerful that it stood on the edge of mortality and Godhood. A creature that was now standing in the middle of Ponyville...

“Dammit.”

The ursa wasted no time in continuing where the Dragon had left off, destroying Ponyville at an even faster rate.

Twilight scolded herself as she ran to the train station to join the evacuations, Cloud still in her telekinetic grasp. With help of her magic, she managed to find a place on a train and joined the rest of Ponyville as everyone escaped towards Canterlot.

Author's Note

Mistakes were made.

A Bathroom and a Battle

I hate Dragons.

Cloud opened his eyes and found himself in a very comfortably decorated hospital room. Though its colour scheme was fairly light and medical equipment filled the cupboards and shelves, it appeared more like a lounge of a cottage. There was only one window, behind his bed and, while there was nothing of immediate interest to his right, to the left of his bed was an inactive cardiac monitor atop a stand. The stand itself housed multiple baskets filled with even more equipment as well as charts and diagrams. Cloud reached into a basket of the cart, pulled out the chart that had been used to record his vitals and skimmed over the data. I don’t know how to interpret this correctly, but the data seems to be stable judging by the patterns in the numbers. I would say that I’m fine. After putting the chart back into its basket, he climbed out of the bed and stretched out. Alright, first thing to do is find a toothbrush. I don’t know how long I was out, but my mouth tastes like grimy dishwater.

What looked like the door to exit the room was opposite to the bed, but on the wall to the right of his bed was another door. Cloud hadn’t noticed the second door at first, mostly because it had no handle. He walked up to it out of curiosity. As he reached it, it opened automatically, revealing an en suite bathroom. Is this a hospital or a hotel? A private establishment, that’s for sure.

The bathroom was very large, about the same size as the ‘hospital’ room. It included a bath, a shower separate to the bath, two toilets and two sinks. Each sink had a mirrored cupboard above it. Pulling one of them open, Cloud saw half a dozen toothbrushes that were still fully packaged, an equal amount of toothpaste, also still packaged, and plenty of very, very powerful soap.

Rather than question why the bathroom existed in the first place, Cloud just shrugged, accepted that the universe had given him a break for once and made use of the facilities.

A set of clean teeth and a long shower later, Cloud exited the bathroom only to find two armour-clad Pegasi clutching spears either side of the door leading out of the room. Cloud, the idiot that he was, panicked. Adrenaline kicked in and time seemed to slow down. Armed guards, private hospital - I’m being arrested because of the Dragon. THEY’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Without another thought Cloud jumped onto the bed and threw himself through at the window, smashing through it and falling. The guards exchanged a bewildered look before they threw their weapons aside and flew through the window after him.

As he flew away from the room on a Support Circle, Cloud tried to figure out where he was: A city, clearly - large buildings spread out for miles and miles. The architecture of the buildings was nothing like Ponyville; tall and white with purple and golden roofs. To his far left was the side of a mountain and to his far right was a fantastic view of Equestria including a smouldering mess which used to be Ponyville. I'm in Canterlot, clearly.

Cloud glanced behind him and saw that the building he had escaped from was the royal palace, confirming his suspicions and making him all the more sure he was to be arrested for trapping the Dragon, thereby causing it to go berserk, destroy a significant chunk of Ponyville and kill a dozen or so Ponies. The palace wasn’t all he saw, however - he spotted the two Pegasi guards flying after him and very quickly closing the distance between them and him. His adrenaline redoubling, Cloud threw a few magic bolts over his shoulder. The guards easily dodged his attacks and caught up to him, flying alongside him.

“Sir!” Shouted one of the Pegasi with a grey body and a dark blue mane. “Please stop! We just wish to-!”

Cloud ignored him and very suddenly came to a halt in the air, an action that took an incredible strain on his willpower as his Support Circle automatically used magic to ensure he didn’t kill himself with the sudden g-force. This didn’t do much to throw off the guards as they quickly made an aerial maneuver to turn around and fly back after him, but Cloud wasn’t flying away anymore: He willed the Support Circle to stop rooting him, allowing him to freely move while using it as a platform, then willed it to become larger, giving him space to move about. The guards reached him as Cloud got into a stance fit for spellcasting.

“I don’t care how well trained you assholes are!” Cloud yelled at them as they hovered nearby. “I bet you were never trained for a flying Unicorn!”

“Well, actually-”

Cloud cut the guard off by zapping him with an arc of electricity before quickly turning and firing a magic bolt at the other. The first guard, the same one who had first tried talking to him, was stunned for a moment and fell, but the second had better reflexes and dodged the bolt. He snarled before landing on Cloud’s Support Circle and throwing a punch at him. Something in Cloud’s mind pinged and, without a thought behind the action, he bashed the guard’s hoof towards his body, grabbed ahold of the leg and yanked it towards himself. Cloud was not nearly strong enough to dislocate it, so the guard merely stumbled slightly before recovering and punching again. This time Cloud was too busy cursing himself for not listening to Princess Luna and the punch connected with his jaw. Cloud fell to the ‘floor’ but, as he lost control of his emotions, he sprang back up, screamed in anger and went to throw a reckless punch.

That was when it happened.

A magic circle was summoned into existence just in front of the hoof he was using to punch - an entirely new magic circle, bright yellow and sparking with electricity. The guard, taken off guard by the circle, failed to react and took its full effect. Unrelenting electricity surged through his body and the point of impact, his neck, was badly burned. Cloud was doing no better - the circle was taking a dangerous amount of magic and willpower. His brain felt like it was on fire. After just two seconds of the new circle taking effect, both he and guard lost consciousness. Both the new circle and the Support Circle shattered and the two Ponies plummeted to the ground.

Cloud awoke back in the hospital room, in too much mental pain to think of what he would consider a witty comment. After a few second the pain lessened and he was able to look around. He was back in the hospital bed, this time bound to it by restraints.

On the wall opposite to him now stood eight guards all aiming spears at him, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Twilight. They all looked very, very angry save for Princess Luna, who looked like she was suppressing a giggle.

Ignoring his mental pain, Cloud tried to free himself from his bonds with magic only to find that his horn wouldn’t respond.

“So,” Princess Celestia snarled, stepping forward, “I heal your wounds and allow you to stay in my private hospital. In response to this, you cause three hundred bits worth of damage and murder one of my personal guards.” She took another step forward, looking just about ready to kill him then and there.

“You, Sir, are an arsehole.”

Author's Note

Well done, Cloud. This is why we don't assume - you look like an ass and someone dies.

My apologies for this chapter taking so long. A mixture of life getting in the way, not feeling motivated to write and writer's block ~~and Skyrim~~ don't lead to much productivity.

I can't make promises of when this will update. I honestly don't know when I'll be motivated to write sometimes, and I'm sorry for that. What I can promise is that this story will never be cancelled. No matter what kind of problems I run into, I'm finishing this story. If it starts to become bad like with what happened to the original, I'll delete chapters and rewrite until it's good again.

No matter how long it takes, this story will be finished.

A Sticky Situation

Though the Canterlot castle appeared to be incredibly large in size, in actuality it was significantly more so.

Canterlot was built onto the side of a mountain. The reason for this was that it did not used to be a city for high class society, let alone be the capital of Equestria. Canterlot used to be a mining camp.

Thousands of years ago, Unicorns used to store magical energy inside a special kind of crystal. Once enough was stored, this energy could be used to power all kinds of advanced technologies: Portals that broke the fabric of reality, machines able to control the minds of living things, weapons of mass destruction able to kill the immortal - the possibilities were endless. As such, those crystals were incredibly valuable, valuable enough for kingdoms to rise and fall over any kind of misuse. Over time, all but seven of the most powerful had vanished.

Out of need more than want, Princess Celestia had her people searching the world for deposits of those crystals. Many years of searching beared no results, until one fateful day, they found it: The Hollow Mountain. One of the largest mountains in Equestria. Inside, a seemingly endless cave system filled completely with those magical crystals.

That little mining camp became a sizable mining town, which became an enormous mining city and, finally, became the capital of Equestria. For a long time, the city was built partially inside the mine. Over time it expanded and retracted, eventually snailing its way through the caves until it became the floating city, sitting on the edge of a mountain face.

About two hundred years after Princess Luna’s banishment, the cave system, drained of all crystals, was finally closed. What few knew is that this was simply part of a plan of Princess Celestia’s.

Dozens of secret tunnels were dug in the belly of Canterlot castle, all leading into the great cave system. Trillions of bits worth of top secret equipment was moved though those tunnels, and the empty cave eventually became Princess Celestia’s secret laboratories. It was in those secret labs that the Princess’s science specialists worked to create and hoard technology, magical and otherwise, hundreds of years beyond that seen in modern society. Things so advanced, a simple Pony would call unholy - and they wouldn’t be wrong. In those labs, everything was permitted. There were Ponies bred there for the sole purpose of either being live test subjects or to be harvested for their organic parts.

Obviously, secrets of those levels were policed at the highest and most brutal of levels. If a citizen ever discovered those labs, they would be harvested for parts. If a scientist working at those labs ever had the slightest thought of wanting to leave, they would become a test subject. Those labs were easily the best kept secret in all of Equestria. Only one unauthorised Pony had ever set foot in there and managed to escape, but, alas, this is not her story and it is not important.

What is important is what was happening in a certain hospital room:

“I believe I shall be fine without your guards,” Princess Luna lit up her horn. “I have guards of my own, after all.” A flash from her horn teleported two of her own guards into the room.

“...Very well.” Princess Celestia left the room and her guards followed. After ordering some of her guards to stay and spy on the room, the Princess made her way directly to her secret labs, taking all of the DNA samples she had gathered along with her.

Luna’s excuse to take him won’t change anything, she thought as she walked through the dark passageway, even if I cannot have my pawns experiment on him directly, the DNA I have gathered shall be more than enough to discover the source of his strange magic. Princess Celestia smiled to herself. They were correct about his reaction to the fear poison, after all.

In Twilight’s tower, Cloud had just received some particularly interesting news.

“You think Celestia poisoned me?” Cloud asked.

“Yeah,” Twilight replied. “I have a small amount of evidence but, before I can go into detail, I need… Um...” Twilight broke eye contact and coughed into her hoof. “Samples.”

“Blood or urine?” Cloud sighed.

“...Both, and, uh, more.”

There was a pause.

“...How much more?”

“I’ll, um, write a list.” Twilight walked downstairs to write a list and collect a few tubes and needles for the samples.

Cloud turned to Princess Luna, who had been using a telepathy spell to give her guards their orders as to not interrupt his conversation with Twilight.

“So what’s gonna happen?” Cloud asked. “Even if I was poisoned, I still…” he gulped, “killed someone. I don’t understand how I can go unpunished without becoming a fugitive or something.” He sighed. “I don’t really understand anything that’s going on right now, honestly.”

“I have use for you, Cloud Calculation,” Princess Luna answered as her guards moved to a more appropriate area in the room to stand guard. “I do not know what my sister is scheming, but I know that she never does something without reason-”

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe…

“Yes!” Celestia screamed. “I know that it must be you who is the sandwich terrorist! It was a cheese sandwich!"

Luna looked confused.

"Watcher, arrest her immediately for assault on sandwiches!" Celestia threw Watcher at Luna, missing and hitting her favorite mirror. It shattered into many pieces, plenty perforating Watcher’s spleen.

Watcher screamed.

“-and that is what makes her dangerous,” Princess Luna continued. “If we allow her to continue her plans without interruption, I have no doubt that one or more of us shall feel nothing but despair.

“What happens next is that you must increase the speed of your training, both magical and physical. You shall stay in this tower: By day, Twilight shall train you, focusing on offensive and defensive magic, but by night I shall continue to train you in the art of fighting.” She paused for a moment. “You managed to learn the dislocation move I taught you after a single session. This is impressive.”

“An empty head picks stuff up like an empty bucket picks up water, I suppose,” Cloud muttered, gazing off to the side.

“Then you should ‘pick up’ some better analogies.”

“Eat a dick.”

“The reason for these actions may be tough for you to bare.” She began to pace. “A thousand years ago, society was… somewhat less civilised than what you are used to. Because of this, my sister and I introduced a… new court proceeding. Not mandatory, of course, yet highly effective.”

“Skip the drama, please,” Cloud groaned, “just tell me what I’ve gotta do.”

The Princess stopped pacing and looked him dead in the eye.

“Trial by combat - to the death.”

There was a long pause.

“I… have to kill again?” Cloud heart rate picked up.

“Only death can pay for death.” Princess Luna began walking to the door. “At most, I can delay for a fortnight. In the meantime, you must prepare as well as you can.”

“This... Is this the only way?”

“Yes, this is the only way you can walk as a free Pony.”

After a moment of trying to comprehend what he had to do, Cloud nodded.

“Then I… I trust you.” He took a deep breath and quickly released it. “If it has to be done, then so be it.”

“Very good.” For the first time in a millennium, Princess Luna gave a smile of honest respect. “I shall leave these two guards here for the moment, for I cannot be certain of the safety of this tower. I am sure they will introduce themselves in due time. In the meantime, I cannot contact you outside of the dream realm. Study hard and survive.” The two shook hooves. “Until tonight.”

Cloud gave a determined nod as the Princess teleported away.

Kill again, huh? If I can figure out how that new circle works, it shouldn’t be too difficult. Criminy, what have I gotten myself into...?

A few seconds later, the door opened and Twilight came back inside levitating vials and needles - about a dozen each - as well as roll of parchment.

“Sorry I took so long; turn out I hadn’t washed these since-” She stopped, noticing the Princess’s absence. “Did she leave?”

“Yeah,” Cloud replied. “She explained what I have to do.”

“Good. Take these,” she moved her carried items forward slightly and Cloud took them with a telekinesis spell of his own, “I’ve made a list of what I need.”

Cloud had a quick look over the list. Oh jeez-!

“Seriously?” He asked, sounding exasperated. “You really need…?”

“Y-Yes!” Twilight stammered, her cheeks reddening slightly. “I need to know what kind of poison was used! I have no idea how it could have been administered!”

“I don’t know if if I… can… y’know. Not without...”

There was an awkward silence in which Twilight did a wonderful impression of Applejack’s brother.

“There’s, um, magazines under my bed. Use those.”

Cloud coughed into his hoof.

“R-Right…”

After a few more moments of awkward silence, Cloud walked away towards the bedroom to collect his samples.

Twilight tried to clear her mind of the sticky situation.

Author's Note

There's more foreshadowing in that opening than you'd believe. :rainbowderp:

Semantic Satiation

Stars littered the sky, and Canterlot slept. Though the night was dark, terror was absent - the presence of nightmares had diminished upon Princess Luna’s return.

Twilight Sparkle walked the empty streets with a pair of saddlebags. To most Ponies, Canterlot at night would prove impossible to navigate under normal circumstances, but Canterlot was the city Twilight called home. She knew exactly where she was going, which streets to take and which alleyways to avoid. It took her little more than an hour to reach her destination; the outskirts of town.

During the week that Cloud had been unconscious, Twilight and her friends had been spending their time building shelters for the Ponyville evacuees. Of course, it wasn’t down to the Spirits alone; they had received help from builders hired using royal funding, which Twilight had limited access to, as well as the evacuees themselves. The same funding was used for buying simple building materials such as lumber, iron and cloth.

They had done well, finishing two shelters a day. On the seventh day, a few hours before Cloud’s episode, Twilight had finished brewing a magic revitalising potion for herself which gave her the boost she needed to build an entire third shelter that day entirely by herself. In total, there were fifteen shelters which was enough to give shelter to the two hundred and ninety eight evacuees. They weren’t the highest quality, but they were enough for Ponies who were homeless.

Twilight walked to the final shelter which had been built and she knocked on the door. After a few seconds of waiting, Applejack opened the door.

“Howdy, Twiglet.” Applejack yawned. “What brings you here so late?”

“Hey, Applejack,” Twilight replied. “I need to see Spike, is he still awake?”

“Hang on a second…” Applejack went into a back room. There was a loud crashing sound followed by a yelp from Spike.

Twilight rolled her eyes. Not what I meant…

Spike came to the doorway, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “Twilight? What’s wrong?”

“I need you to send a package,” she replied. “I have some data I need someone with more experience and free time than I do to analyse.”

“How come? You’re great at that sort of stuff.”

“I sure am, but there’s a strange... Well, there’s an anomaly, for lack of a better word, and I don’t understand what it means.” As Twilight talked, she took the package in question out of her saddlebags using a telekinesis spell and dropped it into Spike’s hands. “With everything that’s happening soon, I won’t have enough time to look into the problem myself.”

“What do you mean? What’s the data? What’s happening?”

“It’s complicated.” She sighed.

“Alright, don’t bother to keep me in the loop or anything.”

“What was that punishment worthy statement?”

“I didn’t say anything!” Spike exclaimed, pretending to be panicked. “I’m practically mute!” The two of them shared a chuckle. “Where do you need this sent? The usual place?”

“Yes.” Twilight nodded. “Please send it to my mother.”

After a puff of fire, the package disappeared.

Princess Celestia was deep in her secret labs, raiding the fridge. After shoving aside the flesh-eating jelly (a creation designed to activate upon contact with stomach acid), she pulled out a creation of her own design: At first glance it appeared to be nothing more than bottled water - but when poured into a baking pan, as Princess Celestia was doing at that moment, the metal activated magical enchantments at a microscopic level, transforming the liquid into cake.

As the Princess took a bite of the cake, a Unicorn scientist holding a few sheets of data teleported into the room.

The scientist’s name was Smart Ass. While most would think this was because his parents hated him, it was merely down to bad luck with family tradition. His mother’s name was Brown Nose and his father’s was Total Bummer.

Smart Ass had not had a happy school life.

“Your Highness,” Smart Ass began, waving the data sheets for a dramatic effect, “we have confirmed the analysis of the data on the subject. I have the data about the data on these sheets of data.”

“You have the data?” The Princess snatched the data sheets out of his hoof and read the data. “I see. This certainly is data. I also see that you date a lot of this data.”

“The data would not be efficient data if we did note date the data.”

“It is dated data.”

“Dated data?”

“Indeed; dated data.” The Princess took another bite of the cake. “This dated data is certainly the data I expected when I asked for this data and read these data sheets.” Globules of cake and saliva coated the dated data sheets as she spoke.

“...It certainly is, ma’am.”

Princess Celestia sneered at the data, revealing an unpleasant amount of cake stuck in her teeth. This dated data on these data sheets is definitely the dated data I drastically and desperately needed…

“You know that thing where you overuse a word and you forget the meaning of it?” Asked Cloud.

Princess Luna snapped his spine with a punch to his side. “I am familiar with this. It is a perplexing phenomenon. Why do you ask?”

Strangely enough, Cloud was unable to reply.

After being healed by Princess Luna, Cloud shakily climbed to his hooves.

“T-That was…” He was gasping, very much in shock. He gulped. “That was too much… That was way too much...”

“Too much?” The Princess scoffed. “That was less than one percent of my effort, and still considerably more so than the effort I put into the battle we had. To be fair to you, I have enough power within the dream realm for it to be considered countably infinite by any mortal being. Even so, you are considerably weak.”

“Hey, attack me, not my confidence.”

The Princess smirked. “Very well.” In less than a hundredth of a second, she moved towards him, backhanded him with a hoof and broke his neck. “Pathetic.” She sighed before healing him.

“Y-You know the point of this,” Cloud managed to say, gasping harder than before, “is t-to make me used to p-pain, right? Killing me over a-and over w-won’t help with that…”

She clicked her tongue in annoyance. “At this rate, you will not be strong enough to succeed in your trial of combat.”

“Can we multitask with this at all?” Cloud had managed to calm down slightly. “Like, split my ability to focus into two versions of me and train a couple of things at once?”

“That-” The Princess blinked, the idea taking her off guard. “That is a legitimately intelligent idea.”

“Thank y-”

“I am surprised a cretin such as yourself could ever think of this.”

“...Never mind.”

There was a blinding flash of light and the world split in two.

In one version of the dream, Princess Luna tortured Cloud beyond anything possible outside of a dream. On the other side of the coin, however, Princess Luna forced Cloud through strenuous exercise - also beyond anything possible outside of a dream.

Generally, it was an unrealistic (and painful) experience for him.

A Shocking Discovery

It had been a hot summer’s day, but sunset was drawing near.

Cloud and Twilight stood in the basement of Twilight’s tower; a room designed for testing new spells and other kinds of magic. The latter is what they were focused on. More specifically, Cloud was trying to recreate his new magic circle - the very same circle he had used to kill one of Princess Celestia’s royal guards. Twilight stood nearby to record everyone’s favourite thing: Data.

They had begun with the obvious; trying to summon the circle the same way a Support Circle is summoned; pure and intense focus. Unfortunately, this bore no fruit. As it turned out, doing what was necessary to summon Support Circles merely resulted in the summoning of Support Circles.

A shocking development.

Regardless, they continued trying. Hours and hours had passed as the two of them tried dozens of different experiments, determined to unlock the magical ability. It was now the end of the day and they had both reached the point of exhaustion. They were ready to try what people as arrogant as they considered an affront to their more ‘original’ ideas - simply recreate the events that made it work the first time.

Using a spell given to her by Princess Luna, Twilight was keeping Cloud in a magically induced daydream. A stream of magic spewed from her horn, flowing into a misty fog which surrounded Cloud. After stumbling around and murmuring for a while, Cloud finally summoned the new circle as he did in his memory.

“There!” Cried Twilight, cutting off the spell. “I got it! I recorded the energy output!” She quickly began writing complex equations, detailing the way Cloud’s natural magic altered upon summoning the new circle.

Cloud shook his head to bring himself back to reality. “Can you trace it back?”

“I think…” The room was quiet for a moment, save for the sound of Twilight’s quill scratching against her parchment. She grinned. “Yes! Alright, I just need to calculate the spell’s trigger… and then… there!" She underlined the final equation. “I’ve done it!”

“Great!” Cloud took the parchment and quickly read through the casting equation. He read through it a few times, making sure to take in every number and magical symbol as best he could. If these calculations are correct, I’ll need to activate my Unicorn magic without the use of my horn. Jeez, my legs are stiff… I’ve been standing here way too long. “The fact that it took us this long to figure this out is clearly Spike’s fault for not telling us to do the obvious sooner and is absolutely not our fault.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, since this spell seems complex, we’ll continue this tomorrow.” Twilight finished her tea. “Have fun with the Princess.”

Cloud groaned.

After twelve hours of blunt force trauma, enough exercise to kill someone outside of the dream realm and very little actual teaching, Cloud was back in the basement with Twilight. They were about to begin testing the magical equation.

“Let’s begin testing the magical equation,” announced Twilight.

Cloud nodded before assuming the (magical) position. He controlled his breathing and focused, feeling his magical energy flowing through his body. Slowly, he began to channel magic through his right foreleg and into his hoof. Come on… Finally, he gave his magic a push and tried to will the new circle into existence, and…

“It’s working!” Cried Twilight.

On the end of Cloud’s right hoof was the new circle. It was a bright yellow and emitted small sparks of electricity which were the same colour as the circle itself. It was much smaller than a Support Circle, its diameter only fifty percent larger than the diameter of his hoof.

“It’s taking much less mental strain now,” Cloud described, keeping his breathing steady.

“Most likely because we’re performing the spell within a controlled environment,” Twilight replied, frenetically writing down the results. “This is wonderful! We’ve made so much progress!”

Cloud nodded slowly. I need to keep my actions simple. If I lose concentration, I may lose control of the circle entirely.

“Next you need to try to dismiss the circle. If the equation continues to be correct, it should be similar to dismissing a Support Circle.”

Cloud nodded again before closing his eyes to focus further. He willed the circle to disappear and, just like the Support Circle, it span counter-clockwise as it shrank until disappearing in a flash of light.

Cloud breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes!” Twilight cheered. “Alright, the next step is to keep doing practicing until you can summon it without a problem!”

“You really think we can get to that point in just a couple of days?” Cloud asked. “Even in a controlled environment like this, it still took a fair amount of mental strain. During the fight, it might be too much for me to handle.” From Cloud’s expression, Twilight could tell that he wasn’t asking this out of fear or a lack of confidence, he was asking out of genuine concern.

“Do you remember when we were going to face Nightmare Moon? When you tried to fight that manticore?”

Cloud nodded.

“Do you remember what you told me?”

“Uh…”

“You told me that using your Support Circle to boost yourself gave you a small migraine.”

“I did?” Actually, thinking back on it, that sounds familiar…

“Yes, but with practice in a controlled environment that’s no longer the case.” Twilight smiled. “I’m sure we can do the same here just as well.”

There was a short pause before Cloud responded.

“You’re right.” He smiled back. “With Ponies as smart as us, there’s nothing we can’t solve.”

Twilight snorted. “What do you mean ’us’?” The two of them laughed. “Anyway, what do you want to call it? The new circle, I mean.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “I thought it was obvious.”

“You have no creativity…” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“The Shock Circle.”

“What a shock.” Twilight shook her head. “Let’s get back to work.”

The two did what they did best - studying Cloud’s mysterious magic.

Days had passed, and Cloud was once again in his dreams with Princess Luna. Tomorrow was the big day.

“This is it, whelp,” began Princess Luna. “Tonight is the final night before your trial by combat. Tomorrow is when we shall see if you truly are a useful asset to me.”

“I’m just gonna ignore that last part,” Cloud replied. “What are we doing this time?”

“Tonight, we spar.” Princess Luna’s body began to morph and change:

She shrank in height yet became more stocky and broad, her muzzle grew longer and thicker and both her mane and tail shortened in length. Finally, she stopped. She had taken the form of an adult stallion.

“I am sure you are confused,” she continued, “the reason I have changed form is so that-”

“Yeah, I get it,” Cloud interrupted. “Sparring with your normal form wouldn’t be any help to me; I wouldn’t learn anything useful.”

The Princess nodded. “Indeed. Rest assured, I shall remain at a realistic level of mortal ability. Now then…” She changed her footing into a battle stance. “We fight.”

She charged forward and threw a punch without stopping. Cloud acted just as quickly, moving backwards to keep at a relative speed with her. At the same time, he knocked her hoof to the side, grabbed ahold of her foreleg and yanked hard. Her shoulder crunched as her leg was roughly dislocated. Not missing a beat, Cloud thrusted a hoof forward and hit her square in the face.

In the precious milliseconds the Princess was distracted from the punch, Cloud moved into her blind spot and then behind her before hitting her in the back of her head with a magic bolt. She snarled before spinning towards him with an angry backhoof he easily ducked under. Finally, he summoned his Shock Circle and finished her off with an electrified uppercut to the jaw - a Thunder Punch.

There was a flash of light and they were returned to their original positions, though Princess Luna remained transformed.

“Very impressive.” She smirked. “I have certainly taught you well.”

“Honestly, with how little you’ve taught me I thought I’d do worse,” Cloud replied, panting slightly.

“Of course, as this was our first spar of the night, I was going easy on you.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Of course you were.”

“Now we spar again!”

The two sparred again and again, not stopping until the break of dawn.

Princess Celestia stood on a balcony of her castle, looking out at her kingdom. She had just raised the sun, sending streaks of sunlight across the land. After properly gathering her thoughts, she teleported one of her guards to her.

“Your Highness,” he bowed.

“Stand.” She commanded.

He obeyed, and stood to attention.

“As you are aware, your partner, Honeybee Wingbeat was murdered a week ago. You were there, of course, when the Unicorn known as Cloud Calculation murdered Wingbeat in an attempt to escape.”

“Yes, ma’am.” His expression remained neutral, a result of many years of training as a royal guard.

“Today, he shall go on trial - the kind of trial Equestria hasn’t seen for hundreds of years: A trial by combat.” She looked outward at her kingdom once more. “I find it appropriate to assign you to the task of killing him in this trial. After all, Wingbeat was your partner for many years. I’m sure you would find it… therapeutic to give this criminal what he deserves.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted. “Thank you, ma’am.” Though his expression hid it, his mind boiled with anger at the mere thought of Cloud. He would not waste this opportunity.

“Very good.” The Princess turned to him and smiled a venomous smile. “Do not fail me, Sight Watcher.”

Author's Note

It had been a hot summer’s day, but sunset was drawing near.

I was very tempted to make a picture of Sunset Shimmer drawing a picture of Near from Death Note.

Trial by Combat

Author's Note

I wasn't entirely certain what I wanted to happen in this chapter. Because of this, I did a small amount of planning for about six different outcomes and rolled a die. The result wasn't what I expected.
Even I didn't know what was coming! :trollestia:

Trial by Combat

Deep inside the Canterlot castle lay a remnant of the old times: An arena. It was in arenas, such as this, that trials of combat were held in the days of old. Most arenas were enormous, circular, and surrounded by rows upon rows of seats for the audience. This arena, though still circular, was significantly smaller than most. This arena, though used for trials, was designed for more private matters. This arena, used for Princess Celestia’s amusement, was where Cloud Calculation was being escorted by Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle and about a dozen royal guards.

“So this is it, huh?” Cloud asked as they reached the entrance. The floor consisted of grassy dirt, the surrounding seating area was only a few rows long and the entire room was lit by lamps hanging from the ceiling.

“Good luck, Cloud,” said Twilight, sounding strangely calm. “Remember the research and you’ll be fine.”

“Fight as if your life depends on it,” Princess Luna added.

“But, uh, it does depend on it,” Cloud pointed out.

She nodded. “All the more reason to.”

Cloud sighed and stepped into the arena, looking back as the door behind him closed and locked. This is it - do or die. There are no restrictions, so I should be free to go all out. Why is Celestia willing to sacrifice a guard like this? It could be overconfidence, or idiocy. It must be. Well, either overconfidence, idiocy or she’s going to cheat in some way.

After a few moments, the audience arrived. Princess Celestia sat in the highest row, her face showing a slight smile like a child who had secretly broken a rule. Next to her sat her sister, Princess Luna, her expression neutral yet stoic. On Princess Celestia’s other side sat Twilight, hiding her fear behind a mask of calm. All other seats were filled by royal guards, save for the seat next to Twilight filled by the captain of the royal guards, her brother, Shining Armour.

Princess Celestia stood. “This nameless stallion, known to his associates as Cloud Calculation, is here today to undergo trial by combat - the first trial by combat since the banishment of Princess Luna.” There was a murmur in the crowd. “He is here under suspicion of murder. The victim, Honeybee Wingbeat, was found dead shortly after pursuing Cloud Calculation under my order. His partner, Sight Watcher, joins us today as his combatant.”

At that moment, a grey stallion with a deep blue mane flew into the arena. On his body and head he wore thick royal armour, and on each wing he sported wing-mounted crossbows.

Cloud narrowed his eyes. Crap. I didn’t prepare for armour or weapons, but that shouldn’t be a problem. My Support Circle should give me the speed advantage, and the metal armour may make my Shock Circle more effective. Luna hasn’t given me much training in dodging, but I’ll probably have to do a lot of it here.

As Cloud had been thinking, Princess Celestia had continued talking. It suddenly occurred to him that he should listen. “...Shall end only when once fighter lies dead. Now, without any further ado,” she stood from her seat for a moment, “begin!”

Cloud readied himself in a battle stance and Watcher, who stood about twenty metres away at the other end of the arena, did the same. Here we go…

Watcher fired both of his crossbows and took to the air. Cloud blasted each projectile with a magic bolt before summoning a Support Circle and flying up after him.

With no time to reload, Watcher dropped the crossbows and blasted himself toward Cloud at top speed. Cloud flew under him, got behind him and fired his red electrical beam at him. Cloud hit Watcher directly in the back of the head and Watcher fell. He spun out of the fall at the last second before hitting the ground before landing on his hooves. Cloud wasted no time in flying at him, leaping off of his Support Circle and throwing a punch.

The first punch was a direct hit, but Watcher blocked his follow up punch with a raised hoof and head-butted Cloud, knocking him back, before throwing some punches of his own - across the face, under the chin, across his eye and directly into his muzzle. Finally, he reared back to throw one final punch, but this time Cloud was ready: He knocked Watcher’s punch to the side, grabbed his leg and yanked hard. There was a hard crunch as the leg roughly dislocated. Watcher cried out in pain, giving Cloud an opportunity to lift him, then slam him into the ground with telekinesis. As Watcher rose to his feet, Cloud quickly focused and summoned a Shock Circle. In a fit of rage, Watcher tried to punch him again with his other hoof. Cloud knocked it away again, but this time used the opportunity to hit Watcher in the face with a Thunder Punch. Electricity surged through Watcher for a few long seconds until he stumbled and…

Watcher shook it off. Cloud paused in shock, and didn’t have time to counter Watcher’s next punch. With Cloud knocked off balance, Watcher reared back and flapped hard, blasting him with wave of air. Cloud was blown back, landing hard on his side. Watcher zoomed over to one of his crossbows, reloaded and took aim, but Cloud had already teleported behind him. Cloud powered his magic up with a Support Circle, then blasted Watcher in the back of the head with a powerful magic bolt. Though Watcher was knocked down, his armour took the damage from the attack without much problem and he had little issue rolling out of it and turning to face Cloud.

Cloud clicked his tongue in anger before conjuring fire and blasting it at Watcher like a flamethrower, but Watcher flew backwards to avoid the flames. He fired his crossbow, and the bolt embedded itself into Cloud’s foreleg. Cloud screamed and fell, pain shooting through his leg as he felt his magic fade away and his Support Circle shatter underneath him.

The bolt had been laced with a magical poison which quickly ate away at Cloud’s magic. As Cloud’s blood spilled out across the floor, he shakily climbed to his feet, barely managing to stay focused and not fall prey to shock thanks to Princess Luna’s pain training, only for another crossbow bolt to be buried in his side. He stayed on his feet this time and turned to Watcher, breathing heavily. The shock began to take hold now, as Cloud foolishly tried to power his horn in a desperate attempt of fight or flight. Watcher ignored this and fired yet another bolt, this one landing in Cloud’s chest. Cloud tried to shakily take a step forward, only to slip in his own blood and stumble.

Watcher marched to Cloud at a steady pace before punching Cloud across the jaw, again and again, until Cloud could taste his own blood. Finally, Watcher walked behind him, took his head in his hooves and looked up at Princess Celestia as if asking for her permission to break his neck.

The Princess nodded, a smile on her face.

“WAIT!” Twilight had teleported into the arena. “Princess Celestia, please! Let him live!”

Princess Celestia waited for a moment before answering to suppress a chuckle. “Ah, but, Twilight, this the outcome of the trial, is it not? Is it really fair to interrupt a matter of-?”

“Please!” Twilight begged, tears in her eyes. “You can’t! Don’t kill him! Imprison him, o-or banish him, or-!”

“What was that, my faithful student?” The Princess interrupted, smiling fully now.

“W-What?”

“Banishment?” She thought to herself for a moment. “Interesting... I like your thinking, Twilight. A criminal such as this deserves to die slowly, alone.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “T-That’s not what I-!”

“Very well! I have come to a decision!” Princess Celestia stood from her seat once again. “As it had been requested by my faithful student, I have decided on a punishment for this heinous criminal!” She chuckled at the idea of his suffering. “Cloud Calculation!”

Cloud, barely conscious, managed to raise his head. ...Twilight…

“I, Princess Celestia, supreme ruler of Equestria, have decided to hereby banish you from these lands!” The purple crystal in her chest piece began to glow, surging magical power into her as she lit her horn. “May you die a slow and painful death!”

Cloud shakily raised a hoof towards Twilight. ...Twilight… I’m sorry…

After being surrounded in a golden glow, Cloud vanished in a flash of light.

Statues Crumble for Me

Two weeks had passed since the trial of combat.

Aside from the occasional roar from the somewhat-nearby Ursa Major, Canterlot had been very quiet. The evacuees from Ponyville hadn’t been too disruptive to the city’s social dynamic (save for a few Pinkie incidents), nor had they caused problems to the economic balance, contrary to what some had predicted.

As Princess Celestia’s protégé and the lead Spirit of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle had joined with a few top military strategists in order to figure out how to deal with the Ursa Major and restore Ponyville. While some theorised that the Elements of Harmony would deal with the creature, others disagreed. The Elements, at their core, restored balance. Would a beast such as an Ursa Major destroying Pony-made structures be considered unnatural in the view of the ancient artifacts? None knew, and it was too great a risk to take.

Others suggest poison, or destructive weaponry. However, once again, others disagreed: No weapon which the Equestrian military possessed could do the slightest amount of damage to a creature of that titanic size, and the same went for poison.

After many hours of debate, only one thing became clear - Ponies could not deal with this alone. If the Ursa was to be defeated, an alliance would have to be formed.

“...It’s settled then,” finished Twilight, “we ask for an alliance with the Dragons.”

A very dazed and drowsy Cloud slowly opened his eyes. He was laying on a colourful thatch mat inside a small, one room cottage which appeared to be constructed from sandstone bricks. The room was simply decorated, though the furniture seemed somewhat crudely made.

Cloud blinked a few times to wake himself up more before taking a deep breath. He gathered his thoughts about what he knew:

I’m not dead. That’s a good start to the day.

Cloud sat up, but gasped in pain. Looking down at himself, he could see that both of his forelegs were heavily bandaged, as was his chest and, by the way it felt, his torso too. As he inspected himself, he felt bruising in his mouth as well as a couple of missing and smashed teeth on the left side of his mouth.

Jeez, that dick really left a mark... And on that note, I know need to learn how to word things better. Cloud frowned. If I ever see that guy again, he’s gonna regret he ever-!

The front door opened. Cloud turned towards the sound and instinctively tried to channel magic to his horn, only to feel a sharp stabbing pain in his head. He gasped again, this time closing his eyes for a moment.

“I’d go back to resting, friend,” suggested a deep, male voice. “Those wounds are far from healed.”

Cloud opened his eyes. The stranger was a Horse, brown in both body and mane.

Horses were taller and slimmer than a Pony, though lacked any kind of Pony-esque magic. Instead, Horses were generally more intelligent than a Pony, and were naturally more physically fit, though unlike Earth Ponies, this wasn’t due to magic. Rather, it was due to the harsh environment of their homelands.

Of course, being the uncultured swine he was, Cloud knew none of this.

This guy is freakin’ skinny! Has he done nothing but cardio his whole life?!

“Uh... Are you alright?” The Horse asked.

Cloud realised he had been staring at him for a minute or so in complete silence. “Y-Yeah! Yeah, I’m- Well, not good, but y’know... Yeah.” Cloud coughed. Reading the situation, it’s pretty obvious this guy is the one who healed me. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Ghyr Muhimm.”

“...Excuse me?”

“Ghyr Muhimm. I’m the Horse that treated your wounds.”

Wait, ‘Horse’? Actually, what accent is that?

“Um, where exactly am I? Am I still in Equestria?”

Ghyr shook his head. “Not even close, I’m afraid. You’re in Saddle Arabia. I found you lying in the middle of the desert on a trip back from another town.”

“I... But... W-Where did you say we are?”

“A geographical dumbass, huh?” Ghyr asked.

Cloud frowned. “What did you just c-?”

“I’m not entirely surprised. With injuries like those, brain damage isn’t out of the question. It’d explain why you think you’re in Equestria too, now that I think on it.”

“I don’t have brain damage,” probably, “and I can remember how I got here just fine,” probably, “I just need to know where ‘here’ is.” Please don’t be too far...

“Saddle Arabia is more or less on the opposite side of the planet from Equestria.”

There was a long pause.

“Shit.”

Princess Luna sat atop the observatory. She had been there for hours, unmoving, sitting directly next to the spindly spire.

At around two in the morning, an owl flew up to the roof of the observatory and sat next to her. After utilising her neck to check her surroundings, the owl exploded into flames.

Princess Luna paid her no mind.

The owl transformed into one of the Princess’s Changeling guards, a saddlebag strapped to her back.

“Your Highness,” she saluted.

“Lieutenant Mawr,” Princess Luna nodded. “Have you obtained the item we discussed?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Mawr reached into the saddle bag on her back and pulled out a large, red crystal, its surface rough and rugged. Within its centre, a strange energy danced.

Princess Luna took the crystal from Mawr with magic and held it to the end of her own horn. Magic flowed into her horn, and the air around the two Ponies seemed almost electrified from her sheer magical power.

“Do try to bring him back in one piece,” the Princess requested.

Mawr’s eyes widened. “Wait, what do you-?” She was suddenly surrounded by a magical aura as deep and dark as the night sky. “Wait! No! I never agreed to thi-!” After a thunderous BOOM, Mawr vanished.

The night sky was gone, replaced by a blue sky filled only by the sun, blasting the ground with endless heat.

Finding herself face down in sand, Mawr lifted her head to see an empty desert with no civilisation in sight. Not only was she in the middle of nowhere, she had no idea where to go, who she was looking for or what to do. After a small panic attack, Princess Luna’s strict military training kicked in and her nerves improved.

Her situation, however, did not.

“Shit.”

Author's Note

~~First of all, Ghyr Muhimm's name is a joke which is pretty impossible to decipher thanks to Google translate being STOOPYD. His name is (according to Google) the English words 'Not Important' translated into Arabic (Arabic because it's Saudi Arabia). Unfortunately, typing 'Ghyr Muhimm' back into Google translate doesn't give 'Not Important' back, ruining the joke and meaning that I have to explain it here.~~
As of 22/07/19, this ^ has been fixed. Woop~!

Secondly, Mawr is a reference to an old story of mine (The Unquiet Journey) that went nowhere and was deleted. Other than her sex, species and name, she's still a completely new character. I'm recycling the plot from that story a fair bit in this arc, so it seemed fitting to have Mawr the guard that Luna sent.

I had a third point, but I have absolutely 100% forgotten what it was. Well done, me.

EDIT: I just remembered a few hours later! Ten points to whoever gets the title.

I'll probably be drawing (or at least starting) a picture soon which will include Mawr, so I'm not bothering with a portrait like I often did in 'The Quest for the Past'.

While I'm on the subject, here's a link to a picture of Sight Watcher for those curious. I'm not sure how relevant he'll be in this story, I just like the idea of reusing characters from TQFTP because I like to think this is the events of a parallel universe. I don't know if Vesper will become a thing, but it's not looking likely.

The Itch

After appearing in Saddle Arabia and being found by Ghyr Muhimm, it had taken Cloud Calculation two weeks to awaken. Seventeen hours later, the royal guard of Princess Luna, a Changeling by the name of Mawr, had been sent to retrieve him.

A few more days of rest was all Cloud had needed before he had become well enough to limp around the hut. While not fully healed, he used this progress to help with chores as a way of thanks towards Ghyr.

A week after that and Cloud was well enough to walk normally. The crossbow bolts had left scars, in the left side of his mouth his teeth were in terrible shape and the bruises on his face continued to be vibrant, but he was able to move and cast magic well enough.

Ghyr lived alone. The closest village was a few miles away, but he was relatively close to a reliable water source. Combining that with a small cactus farm he had been growing meant that he did not need to go to the village very often. As such, there had been no news of Cloud spreading outside of Ghyr’s hut.

This did not make Mawr’s job particularly easy.

It had taken almost ten days of wandering through the desert, chasing mirages and obliterating scorpions, but Mawr had finally found civilisation.

While in the desert, her survival strategy had been to transform into a Camel - another native species to Saddle Arabia - in order to survive the heat. While she had been far from danger of dehydration, Changelings were devoid of sweat glands, the heat had turned her chitin into an oven, slowly cooking her from the inside.

“Finally…” Mawr sighed. This is a small village, she thought, but news of a Pony should have spread like wildfire. With luck, I can find out where this guy’s been from here - or get a very rough idea of where to go, at least. First, though... Mawr was engulfed in green flames as she transformed back into her natural form. “That’s better.”

Though Changelings were able to stay in alternate forms for as long as they pleased, a constant slight discomfort could always be felt. As time went on, this discomfort would increase little by little. It would stop increasing at a certain point, but it would never fade, not in the slightest. The only remedy was to change back into their original forms. While not accurate to the sensation, this discomfort was dubbed by many as ‘the itch’.

With the itch no longer present, Mawr was better able to focus her thoughts.

I should find a social hub. This is a small town, so a tavern’s probably my best bet.

As she walked into town and looked around for a tavern, or the equivalent to it, Mawr noticed a lot of eyes watching her - more than she had expected. She narrowed her eyes.

I expected a little attention in a town this small, but this is too much... It isn’t uncommon for Changelings to be hired by traders in Saddle Arabia, so unless newcomers are a rarity there’s something else going on.

Watching her back with some discreet magic, Mawr continued deeper into the town.

Cloud and Ghyr were sitting at a small table outside of the hut, telling stories and drinking some cactus juice for lunch. The soup was as pleasant as it sounded.

“...And she blasted me with her magic,” Cloud finished. “Whatever she did, which was probably a powerful teleportation spell of some kind, sent me here. You know the rest.”

“For a Pony with a couple of months worth of memories, you sure have some interesting stories,” Ghyr remarked.

“Equestria gave me hell, but hell gives something to tell.”

“You think you’ll head back there?”

Cloud sighed. “I’m not sure. I mean, I was banished, so I’d probably be arrested if I even did, maybe even executed with how violent Celestia seemed, but…” He paused for a second. “Equestria is just one place in the world. I did a lot of stuff there since waking up, but made very little progress in finding out who I am. Twilight helped me discover more about my talent. She was a great friend, and yet the only person who’s shown any kindness towards me, discounting you, obviously. She’s the only genuine reason I have to go back.”

“You said that the Princess poisoned you with something. Don’t you want to find out why she did that? Maybe she had some big, evil plan of some kind.”

“I doubt it. Celestia’s problem is something… more basic. Boredom, maybe? Eternal life has gotta start messing with your head after a few thousand years or so."

“As for any ‘big, evil plan’,” Cloud continued, “there are Ponies stronger, smarter and more important than me figuring it out. I’m sure they’ll do fine without me.” Twilight doesn’t need me. After all the messes I caused I’d just hinder her more than help.

“What about your memories?” Ghyr asked. “You said it was a magic problem.”

“Yeah,” Cloud nodded, “it’s most likely because of a spell of some kind. The doctor I went to in Ponyville seemed to think so, at least, and Twilight agreed. After a couple of tests from her, of course.”

“Then isn’t Equestria the only place for you? It’s the most magical place in the world. Where else could you learn about magic? Or find a way to recover your memories?”

“I don’t know…” Cloud thought back to Princess Luna’s guards. “Changelings, maybe? They can use magic. It’s possible they have different kinds of magic.”

Ghyr shrugged. “I suppose.”

I don’t know much about them, so it’s possible they have magic from an entirely different evolved civilisation.

For a while the two were silent, save for the occasional sip of the cactus juice.

“Yeah,” said Cloud, after thinking for a while. “Yeah, I think Changeling’s are probably my next best bet. Do you have any idea where their homelands are?”

Ghyr shook his head. “I sure don’t.”

It shouldn’t be too hard to find out. Any decent library would have decent maps, or history books that could give me a good lead.

“Is there a library in that nearby village you mentioned?”

“There is, but I wouldn’t mention what you’re looking up to anyone while you’re in town. The locals are… less than accepting of non-Horse species. They should be fine with you, being a Pony and all, but…” Why is everyone always racist wherever I go? “Oh, and not too many Horses are fluent in Equestrian, as I am. Some speak it, but for the most part you’ll have to improvise in some way.”

“Alright.” Cloud stood up. “Thanks again for the hospitality, Ghyr. I literally owe you my life.”

Ghyr nodded. “Try not to die.”

Cloud closed his eyes, cleared his head and focused. After a moment, he summoned a Support Circle underneath himself, rose high into the air and flew off towards the village.

There was a Horse following Mawr. She could see him with her spell, trying not to act suspicious. Every turn she took, he soon took too.

Mawr sighed internally. No point in putting this off…

She took a quick turn, heading down an alleyway between a couple of buildings and stopped, waiting for him to follow. Sure enough, he did. He slowed for a moment as he noticed her watching him, but sneered when he realised where they were.

“[We don’t like your kind here, Changeling,]” he sneered. He spoke in Saddline, the Saddle Arabian language.

This wasn’t a problem for Mawr, as she was fluent in almost all current languages in the world. Another perk of being a shapeshifter was having more comprehension of other cultures, and a Changeling could learn a new language in mere months.

It was because of this that Mawr was fully ready and able to provide an appropriate response:

“[Eat shit and die,]” she retorted.

The Horse growled. “[You’re gonna regret you said that, you damn bug!]” He ran at Mawr, but she easily sidestepped him, confused him with a disorientation spell, pulled him into a headlock and snapped his neck.

After throwing his body into a nearby pile of garbage, she took on his form before leaving the alley and continuing down the street - now able to blend with the crowd.

Mawr sighed internally once again.

...And the itch returns.

Scaley Tails and Sandy Trails

About a week and a half ago, a Canterlot missive had been sent to the ruler of both the Dragonlands and the Dragons themselves, Dragon Lord Torch. The missive was concerning the rampant Ursa Major in what used to be Ponyville, and asked for help from the Dragons. In extraordinarily rare cases, such as Lord Torch himself, Dragons could grow to be as big as, or even bigger than, Ursa Majors. With help from Dragons of that scale, the thinkers of Equestria expected that the Ursa Major could be defeated and the land could be reclaimed.

Shortly after receiving the Canterlot missive, Lord Torch had sent an emissary to fulfil his part in a diplomatic meeting between the Dragons and the Ponies. As fate would have it, the Equestrian night that emissary arrived just happened to be the same Saddle Arabian day which Cloud had left Ghyr Muhimm's care, almost as if it made for a better plot.

Twilight and Spike sat at a table in a room within the Canterlot castle, along with half a dozen of Princess Celestia’s bigwigs, waiting for the emissary to join them. Though the bigwigs were making casual small talk amongst themselves, not expecting anything particularly out of the ordinary, Twilight was incredibly nervous about what could go wrong.

“I’ve never been in a meeting like this before,” she monologued at Spike, “so I have no idea how things could turn out. I read a few books earlier today to prepare myself, but it’s never the same as the real thing!”

Spike groaned. “Twilight, I know, I was the one who got you the books. They were really hard to find.”

“What if they decide not to help us? Ponyville might never be saved! I had to spend three hours searching for the right books, but if I was faster I could be more prepared!”

Spike scowled. “Actually, I spent three hours searching-!”

“Luckily, because I’m so smart, I managed to read the books quickly and not waste time like the one who found them!”

“But according to you, you’re the one who found them!”

“Spike!” Twilight cried out in surprise. “Don’t be so sarcastic! It’s incredibly rude to shift blame onto others! You need to be more of an adult and admit when you screwed up!”

“At this rate I’ll be an alcoholic by twenty.” He paused. “Which is in five years, because you hatched me when you were six, and now you’re twenty one, making me fifteen.”

Twilight frowned in confusion. “What? Where did that come from?”

“I… I don’t know,” Spike replied, a little panicked, “it just seemed relevant for some reason.” He paused again, and his previous attitude returned. “If you were to number the walls in this room, what order would you put them in?”

“Uh…” Twilight slowly stood up and backed away. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Because the one I’d put after three is looking a little weak right now.”

“Do you need a glass of water or something?”

“Not quite broken, but a little cracked at least.”

“I’m not… um…”

There was a pause. Spike suddenly looked surprised, like someone had just slapped him awake.

“W-What?” He began looking around in panic and slight fear. “Where have I been the last two minutes?!”

Before Twilight could think about what he had just said, the doors to the room opened and a silence fell upon the crowd. In the doorway stood the emissary of the Dragons being led by two royal guards of the day.

“Introducing the emissary of Lord Torch,” announced one of the guards, “Princess Ember!”

The other guard gave a little toot on a horn.

Standing at about a head taller than the guards was Princess Ember, her scales various shades of blue and her eyes a fiery red. Unlike Spike, Ember had wings on her back and horns on her head in a style not dissimilar to a Minotaur. She stood with her arms crossed and her head to the side, like a teenager called downstairs by a parent.

“Let’s get this over with…” Ember sighed. She walked over to the table, being careful not to slip in her angst, and took a seat.

Twilight reached over and closed Spike’s gaping jaw.

It wasn’t just his scales which were hard.

It hadn’t taken Cloud too long to fly to the nearby town. I’ve really got to learn this town’s name sometime... He landed on the outskirts, dismissed his Support Circle and walked deeper in.

Going over my mental to-do list, I should first try to find a library and see if I can either find a map of the world, an idea of where to go to find a map, or the geographical history of Changelings. While I don’t need to eat or drink right now, I also need to get some food and water to take with me. I’ll most likely have to walk my way out of this desert. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the library here will be having a party like the Ponyville library! I could just swipe a little food if it was! It wouldn’t even be stealing, I’d just be taking food which was already free!

Cloud sighed. As much as he joked to himself, he really did miss Twilight. She had been his first and only friend. Even if he told himself that he couldn’t go back to Equestria, it had no bearing on him wanting to go back. He much rather enjoyed the feeling of grass and dirt under his hooves rather than sand. Of course, even if he could somehow go back to Equestria, Ponyville had become the nest of an Ursa Major. Walking on grass and dirt wouldn’t become a common activity. If I stayed in Canterlot, anyway.

He walked for a while longer, but found no sign of anything which looked like a library. After some time, he stopped to consider his options. Ghyr mentioned there might be some Horses which speak Equestrian. Finding a library will be easier if I start asking around.

“Excuse me!” Cloud called out to a nearby Horse. “Do you know where I can find a library?”

The Horse just looked at him for a while, not saying anything. Crap, they probably don’t understand me. I doubt anyone will let me cast a telepathy spell on them, so it’s probably best to just move on to the next-

“Shit, that was easy,” said the Horse. Mawr was suddenly surrounded in flames as she quickly transformed back into her regular form.

Cloud blinked. I… guess I won’t have to find a library now. I can just ask this guy what I need to know.

Before Cloud could ask anything, however, a nearby Horse began screaming, attracting two more to them.

“[Changeling!]” It screamed. “[There’s a Changeling here!]”

“[It was transformed!]” Screamed another. “[It probably killed whoever it was pretending to be!]”

“[No!]” Screamed the third. “[It must have killed dozens by now!]”

“It’s times like this when I miss having context,” Cloud muttered to himself.

“They think I’ve killed a dozen Horses because I was transformed,” Mawr explained.

“Uh... Did you?”

“Obviously not,” Mawr rolled her eyes.

“Good, so we can just talk this ou-”

“I only killed four or five.”

There was an awkward silence between Cloud and Mawr as the Horses continued screaming and shouting.

“[We’ve got to kill it before it kills us!]” The first one screamed before running at Mawr.

Mawr rolled her eyes again before throwing the Horse at a nearby window with a telekinesis spell. Before the Horse could get a faceful of glass, she suddenly stopped - Cloud had grabbed her with a telekinesis spell of his own. He placed her back on the ground before turning to Mawr.

“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing,” Cloud growled, “but I’m not letting you kill anyone else!”

“Oh for-!” Mawr facehoofed. “Look, I don’t have time for this! You really need to come with me!” I really miss having context…

Cloud lit his horn and shifted his hooves into a battle stance. “And why the hell would I do that?!”

“Princess Luna needs you back in Equestria! The sooner we get going, the sooner I can get out of this damn desert!”

“Oh yeah?!” Cloud spat. “Show me some evidence! All I see is a murderer!”

“Oh, screw this! It’ll be easier to just knock out and drag you back!”

Mawr used a burst of speed from her wings to charge at Cloud, then teleported behind him at the last moment before casting a disorientation spell. Realising what was coming as soon as she teleported, Cloud quickly cast his own disorientation spell to act as a counter. The two spells clashed as each caster battled for power.

Suddenly remembering his bout with Trixie, Cloud kicked sand into Mawr's face. Her concentration broke and she felt her mind slapped by the spell. With Mawr momentarily off balance, Cloud spun around and whipped the back of his hoof across her face and followed it up with a magic bolt to her chest. Though her chitin protected her from any actual damage, Mawr was still thrown backwards. She quickly refocused her mind, rolled into a standing position and threw a punch.

Cloud knocked her hoof to the side and grabbed her leg, but Mawr was ready for the counter and flew forward with the pull, making Cloud lose his balance. He quickly teleported into the air to avoid any attack she could make, summoned a Support Circle and set himself the right way up. Mawr flew up to fight him in the sky and, as soon as she was level with him, fired a blue, elementless magical beam at Cloud, who responded in kind with his red electrical beam. The two beams collided and struggled against each other.

While he could tell his beam was stronger, Cloud held back on his magic to keep the beams balanced while he cleared his mind and focused. After a moment, he suddenly dismissed his Support Circle, stopped his beam spell, teleported just above Mawr and let loose a Thunder Punch. For an unknown reason, the magical bolts of electricity from his Shock Circle were unaffected by Mawr’s chitin and she felt their full blast. Electricity surged through her innards, making her scream in pain. Her body locked up, and she plummeted back to the sand. Mawr slammed into the ground, but her chitin once again protected her from any real damage. Landing on a Support Circle, Cloud rushed over to her to knock her out using another Shock Circle.

Knowing she had no other choice, Mawr focused every last bit of magical energy she had and blasted Cloud with a telepathy spell. The spell stopped Cloud in his tracks as details of her life flashed before his eyes:

From a young age, Mawr had known nothing but killing. As she grew up, she took on mercenary work for whoever would pay her, until killing a few too many members of noble families and finally being caught. She had been locked in the Canterlot dungeons for five years.

Princess Luna freed her, as well as many other prisoners in the dungeon, to work for her as her personal guards. They were under strict training twenty four hours a day, training stricter than anything Cloud had experienced. Many of the guards in training quit, wanting to return to the dungeon, other guards were locked within nightmares for attempting to escape, but more than eighty percent of the guards were killed by the training itself.

After simply two weeks of this, only a dozen remained. Guards enduring enough to not be tempted to quit, strong minded enough to not attempt escape and physically strong enough to survive. Once Cloud’s nightly training had begun, the survivors were allowed to shorten their training to twelve hours a day, but those twelve hours were made twice as difficult.

Mawr survived for three simple reasons: For a start, she was much more experienced than any of the other prisoners with the things she had been through in her life, making her very mentally strong. Second, her chitin meant that she was immune to almost any kind of pain which the Princess put her through, giving her a very unfair advantage. Finally, Mawr was being paid well - well enough that she had absolutely no thoughts of trying to escape. As she saw it, this was the job she was born for; legally killing and getting very well paid for it.

Once Cloud had been banished, Princess Luna had sent to the castle deep in the Everfree Forest to look for an ancient artifact she had hidden away two thousand years ago. It took quite some time, but she had finally found it - a strange crystal.

At long last, Cloud saw Mawr delivering the crystal, only to be sent to Saddle Arabia to retrieve him against her will.

Cloud’s mind cleared. He stumbled, fell to the ground and promptly spewed the cactus juice he’d had for lunch. As it turned out, experiencing the footnotes of a lifetime of information in the span of three seconds was a rather unpleasant experience.

“O-Okay!” He managed to say between coughs. “I believe you!”

Princess Luna sat at a balcony, watching the sky as her moon slowly descended toward the horizon and the stars faded away.

“Hello, my sister!” Princess Celestia greeted happily.

Princess Luna did not turn to see her, merely nodding in response.

“Despite our best efforts, I sadly bring to you some good news and some bad news!” Princess Celestia did not sound sad. In fact, she sounded practically giddy, like a filly on Hearth’s Warming.

To this, Princess Luna turned. “What is it that you mean?”

“The good news is; Twilight’s assistant has a little more worldly experience, if you catch my meaning!”

“I… do not.” Princess Luna frowned with worry. “Sister, what do you mean? What has happened?”

“The bad news is; the Dragon emissary didn’t take kindly to Spike trying to touch her butt, so…”

“The alliance is not happening?” Princess Luna guessed, worry coursing through her. “Sister, without that alliance it is only a matter of time until-!”

Princess Celestia held up a hoof to silence her. “Oh no, it’s much better than that!” She was struggling to contain her laughter now. “The news is so much more exciting!”

Princess Luna showed an fearful yet angry grimace. “What?! What is it?! Tell me!”

After laughing a few second more, Princess Celestia finally calmed enough to speak:

“We’re at war with the Dragons!”

Author's Note

Believe it or not, Spike's 'episode' early in the chapter wasn't just a throwaway joke and is actually relevant to the plot. People who've read 'The Quest For The Past' (the story which this is a reimagining of) may have an idea of what it means... :raritywink:

I mentioned this in a blog post, but since not everyone who reads this will read that, I'm going to reiterate it here:
If you ever have ideas for magic circle you find entertaining, interesting or just plain fun, please tell me in the comments at any time! I'll probably end up using it (if I do use your idea, I may change it in some ways to make it fit the story a little better), and if I do I'll credit you for the idea in the author's note of the first chapter it appears in!

A Stickier Situation

Cloud fell to the ground and ejected cactus juice from his face. Mawr had just shown him a summary of her entire life through three seconds of telepathy, and his body had not appreciated it.

“O-Okay!” Cloud managed to say between coughs. “I believe you!”

Mawr stood up. She was mostly unharmed, though a little shaken. She walked over to Cloud and smacked him across the head before offering the same hoof to pull him up.

“Ow.”

“Now we’re even.” Mawr helped Cloud up off the ground, ignoring his scowl.

“[She’s controlling his brain!]” One of the spectating Horses screamed. “[Now no one is safe!]”

As Mawr and Cloud had fought, a large crowd of Horses had gathered. Unsurprisingly, that crowd was now screaming along with the original three.

“The value of context is so underappreciated these days,” Cloud said to nobody in particular, “but when you don’t have it, oh boy is it wanted.”

“They think the ‘big, bad, evil Changeling’ brainwashed you,” Mawr explained. I mean, technically... “They’re all freaking out about it.”

“I see.”

There was a pause.

Mawr lit up her horn. “I’m gonna kill them all.”

“What?! No!” Cloud quickly teleported the two of them into the neighbouring street.

Mawr huffed and scowled at him. “What the hell, man? I was about to solve our problems and blow off some steam.”

“No!” Cloud shouted. “Stop killing people!”

“Or what?” Mawr scoffed. “You’ll kill me?”

“Considering I just kicked your ass, I-!”

“Okay, no, stop right there,” Mawr frowned, “you only beat me because I wasn’t going for the kill.”

“Bullshit!”

“[There they are!]” Shouted a Horse. “[They came over here, everyone!]”

“Crap,” Mawr muttered. “Unless you’re okay with me killing everyone, we need to get out of here.”

“Then let’s get going,” Cloud replied. He summoned a Support Circle and hovered a little in the air, motioning for Mawr to fly too.

Mawr flapped her wings, but…

“Argh!” She cried. “Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” Cloud asked quickly, noticing the Horses beginning to stampede.

“Whatever you did, you screwed up my wings!”

“Fine-!” He focused his thoughts and increased the diameter of his Support Circle. “Get on! Quickly!”

Mawr climbed onto the Support Circle. After rooting her to it, Cloud flew into the air and away from the town.

“Wait, no!” Mawr shouted. “We need to go back!”

“Nope.”

“We need to go back and-!”

“Nope.”

“But we really have to-!”

“No- Agh!” Cloud had been smacked.

“Listen to me, asshole! I don’t know where we’re going!”

“You said we were going to Equestria!” Cloud shouted. “Make up your mind!”

“Oh yeah?! Well which direction do we go, smartass?!”

Cloud slowed the circle to a stop. Uhh… Shit, she’s right.

“We need to go back and find a map,” Mawr explained. “Food and water would be a good idea, too.”

“Where do we find a map?” Cloud asked. “In a library?”

“Yeah, it’s the best bet,” Mawr nodded. “But since you’ve decided murder’s not an option, I’ll let you figure out how to find a library in a town full of Horses who think I’m evil and that you’re my thrall.”

“Fine! It’ll be easy!” Cloud unrooted them from the Support Circle before turning around to look at the town. This will not be easy...

This is easy!

“This is stupid…” Mawr muttered, sitting atop Cloud’s head.

After a little bit of adjustment, Cloud had managed to alter the teeth whitening spell he had learnt back in Ponyville to whiten his entire body. It was purely a magical aesthetic, and would wear off after an hour. It changed nothing else about him, but it was enough to make the Horses in the town think he was an entirely different Unicorn.

Once disguised, he had Mawr to transform into a flea and hide in his mane. They walked through the town like this, and if anyone questioned him on who he was or where he was going, Mawr would tap on his head three times before saying loudly in a male voice; “[I no speak Saddline].” When Cloud felt three taps, he knew to pretend to speak.

Finally, Cloud was using a short range heat detection spell to search for a library. While most buildings were well designed for allowing airflow to keep themselves cool, a library would be full of books - insulating it. If Cloud detected a significant heat source, he would hide in an alley while Mawr entered the building, still a flea, to check if it was a library.

“This is beyond stupid,” Mawr continued muttering, “this is a level of stupid I can’t even comprehend.”

Cloud was unable to reply, lest he ruin the disguise. He ducked into another alleyway and Mawr climbed off him. He pointed to the building to his left.

“This is stupid…” Mawr sighed, before crawling toward the entrance. After a few minutes, she crawled back to Cloud and hopped back onto his head. “Yeah, this looks like one.”

They headed inside. It was a small building with no more than three rooms, the first of which was packed wall to wall with books. Sadly, as the room itself was small, the actual number of books wasn’t too high.

Mawr changed back into her normal form and glanced around, now able to see from her normal height. “Yeah, this should do nicely. I’ll explore the rest of the building while you make a start on looking for a map, okay?”

“GET OFF MY HEAD!” Cloud yelled into the floor.

Mawr wandered into the second room to discover that it was a bedroom. Connected to it was a small and simple kitchen. From the smell, she correctly guessed at a hidden away bedpan. The owner of the library probably lives here.

Checking the kitchen cupboards, she discovered very little food and water - there was just about enough for a single serving of each. She left the supplies in the cupboards and went back into the library itself.

Cloud was making steady progress checking books for any kind of useable map, skimming through them with telekinesis. Walking past him, Mawr headed directly to the other end of the room and joined him in searching.

Thirty minutes of flicked through books is what it took to discover a detailed history of Saddle Arabia.

“Here,” Mawr called, ending her telekinesis spell and holding the book with her hoof, “I found something we can use.” She quickly found a well presented map of Saddle Arabia within the book.

“I thought we were looking for a world map?” Cloud asked, now by her side.

“Yeah? And how successful have we been so far?”

Cloud sighed. “You have a fair point. So, what now? We find a city or somewhere else with a library and check there?”

“More or less,” Mawr tore the page out of the book, folded it a few times and stored it inside one of her hind leg’s holes, “but we should head west. Even if we don’t find somewhere with a better map, we can still make it to Zebrica.”

“Question.”

“Yes?”

“Which way is west?”

“I can navigate with the stars, I’ll tell you in a couple of hours.” Mawr put the book back onto the shelf.

“Another question.”

Mawr rolled her eyes. “Yes?”

“If you can figure out which way is west, why did we need a map?”

“So we can stop by towns and cities on the way for supplies.”

Cloud blinked. “Oh, right.”

“While we’re on the subject,” Mawr walked towards the kitchen and Cloud followed, “there’s barely a single ration of food and water here.” She showed him the little food and water to emphasise her point. “Stealing more from this town could be difficult, so I say you eat and drink it before we leave, head directly to the next closest town and steal some from there.”

“No.” Cloud was frowning. “I’ll steal from this town because we don’t have much of a choice, but I won’t steal when I don’t need to.”

“By the night’s sky…” Mawr groaned. “Fine! We won’t steal the supplies which we need to live! I’d ask how you plan to get it, but considering your last plan was so stupid I don’t really give a shit.”

“If the plan was so bad, why did it work?” As if on cue, Cloud faded back to his normal colours.

“Dumb luck.”

“Then w-” A realisation suddenly struck Cloud. “Wait, if I eat the food, what are you gonna do?”

“Changelings have… other ways to… ‘feed’.” She paused. “While we’re on the subject, uh…” She groaned and facehoofed. “I need a… favour.” Mawr described the favour in great detail which would surely destroy the audience’s fragile innocence if heard.

“Oh,” said Cloud, flexing his eyebrows and growing a shit-eating-grin, “now that’s something I can help you with…”

“Well, that was disappointing,” Mawr sighed.

Cloud had, once again, found himself in a sticky situation.

Author's Note

Why is it that when I become super busy with life stuff and tell everyone I'm super busy with life stuff I suddenly start producing more chapters?
Seriously though, life stuff is keeping me super busy so if I stop posting things for a little while, that's why ~~and it's not me being lazy for once~~.

Met a Fly with a Buzz

Twilight Velvet was a mare who took joy in the simple things in her life: Coffee, reading the morning paper, coffee, completing crosswords, coffee, analysis of biological samples and, on rare occasions, coffee.

For the most part, she lived a stress-free and productive life. Her daughter was going to a nice college whose Principle was paying for her tuition, and she had just received a special medal for completing an important essay, her son had become a security guard at Floormart and her husband was definitely not up to anything devious in the evening - or something along those lines, anyway. Life was quiet, and that was just the way she enjoyed it.

During the night in which the Dragon emissary arrived at Canterlot, Mrs. Velvet was sitting in her personal lab, which she had designed herself, working to analyse DNA samples which her daughter had sent to her around a month ago. It was nearing one in the morning, and yet she showed no signs of stopping.

“Fascinating…” Mrs. Velvet muttered to herself, reading the results of various tests. She smiled gently and took a sip of coffee. “Yes, I do believe I’ve cracked it…” She set the data down onto her desk. “One last test should be enough to know with certainty…”

Sadly for Mrs. Velvet, she did not notice the shadowy figure who approached her from behind, nor did she notice conspicuous metal pipe they swung.

As unsatisfied as she had been with Cloud’s nondescript, unquestionably TV Y actions, Mawr had gained the energy she needed to survive in the desert for a short while.

“Was it really that bad?” Cloud asked croakily, his throat sore.

“You missed twice, lasted ten seconds and cried into a pillow for an hour,” Mawr reminded him, frowning. “Yeah, I’d say it was pretty bad.”

Cloud’s gaze fell to the ground and another tear ran down his face.

“Go into the kitchen and eat,” Mawr instructed, “I need to check for a few things before leave.”

Cloud nodded sadly before trudging into the kitchen.

Mawr rolled her eyes. Idiot… She walked back into the library room. Rather than look at any books, she made her way to a small safe at the foot of the front desk. Cloud had not noticed the safe, nor did most Horses who visited the library, but Mawr was more perceptive than most. She transformed into a Gryphon to improve her hearing, then knelt down, pressed her ear against the metal and began trying to crack the safe.

It took her thirty minutes, but Mawr finally managed to get the safe open. She took a moment to smirk before turning back to her normal form.

Inside the safe was a little amount of paper money; sandpaper. One note of sandpaper was equivalent to five bits, and in the safe were a dozen notes rolled up and tied with a small amount of string.

While the holes in the legs of most Changelings went directly through, on rare occasion a Changeling would have a few with cavities larger than their entrances. Being one of these Changelings, Mawr often stored small objects within her leg cavities - such as the map of Saddle Arabia and the roll of sandpaper she had taken from the safe. You may be wondering what happens to these objects when she transforms: The shorter and less gruesome answer is that they stay in exactly the same place. It would be a poor idea for Mawr to transform into anything particularly small while storing items within her cavities.

“Alright, I’m done,” Cloud called out as he walked through to the library room. “I’m ready to leave.”

“Good,” Mawr replied. “Let’s fly out of the window, it’ll be much faster.” Plus I can’t turn into anything small right now anyway…

“Alright.” Cloud nodded. “Are your wings still injured?”

“Yes,” Mawr growled. “Asshole…”

“Then I’ll make the Support Circle big enough for the both us.” Cloud closed his eyes, focused slightly and summoned a Support Circle. Sure enough, it was big enough for the both of them. I’m becoming much more efficient at this, he thought to himself as Mawr walked onto the circle. Ideally, I should be able to become better with the Shock Circle too, with enough practice.

Both aboard the circle, Mawr and Cloud were ready to-

“Wait, crap, I need to open a window first,” said Mawr walking off again.

Cloud floated along behind her as to avoid the awkward scenario of waiting for her to walk back. My jimmies are rustled just thinking about it…

After opening a window, Mawr walked back onto the circle and the two of them flew outside. Cloud took them upwards, high enough that they wouldn’t noticed, before flying west by Mawr’s instruction. They traveled like this for a good hour before finally landing and dismissing the Support Circle.

“Alright, where are we going?” Cloud asked. “How far is it to the next town?”

“We need to go to… ugh…” Mawr groaned. “This entire fucking thing is stupid. All I wanted to do was kill things, get paid, and maybe go bowling. Now I’m walking through a desert with a Pony with no name.”

“Hey, at least it feels good to be out of the rain,” Cloud replied.

Mawr groaned again.

“We need to keep our spirits up and-!”

“You know, if there was ever a time to be stressed about your situation, now would be the time.”

Cloud blinked. “Stressed?” He laughed nervously. “W-Why would I be stressed? Things are looking up and…!” His positive attitude finally broke down. “Yeah, okay. My life is fucking atrocious right now.” He sighed. “Screw trying to be an optimist, let’s just go.”

They started walking.

After apologizing to Princess Celestia countless times for Spike’s actions, Twilight (Sparkle, that is) decided she needed to spend some time with people who weren’t idiots. It was for this reason that she went to her parents’ home, and it was for this reason she discovered the front door broken down.

“Mom?” She called, lighting up her horn. “Dad? Hello?” Please just be wacky hijinks, please just be wacky hijinks, please just be wacky hijinks… Her hopes were extinguished upon noticing drops of blood leading either to or from her mother’s personal laboratory.

Twilight gulped before pushing the door open. Her jaw dropped.

“M-Mom?!”

Author's Note

I finally get to use the picture! :pinkiehappy:
It's the biggest, best and my favourite of anything I've done so far and it took eight solid hours of work!
Here's a link to the full res version!

Songs and Special Sauce

Twilight’s hopes were extinguished upon noticing drops of blood leading either to or from her mother’s personal laboratory.

Twilight gulped before pushing the door open. Her jaw dropped.

“M-Mom?!”

Mrs. Velvet looked up from her research papers and smiled. “Hello, dear!”

It was as if a tornado had passed through the room; vials and test tubes were smashed and scattered, furniture was flipped over, papers were torn, screwed up and scattered around the room and Mrs. Velvet’s mane was a horrible mess. If a non-descript Pony whose interests included fashion and mane styles were present, they would be aghast. However, Fancy Pants was not present and, as such, was not aghast.

“Mom!” Twilight cried again. “What happened here?! Why is the front door smashed open?! Why is there blood in the hallway?! What the hell happened to your lab?!”

“Well…”

Mrs. Velvet was sitting her desk, looking through research papers as she prepared a few test tubes. Behind her, a dark figure approached - a dark figure with a conspicuous metal pipe. After walking up behind her in a truly spooky and dramatic way, the figure swung the pipe with all their strength at the head of Mrs. Velvet.

Unfortunately for the attacker, Mrs. Velvet was very health and safety conscious and had cast a special kind of shield spell, giving her an invisible, magical hard hat. The pipe bounced off of her head harmlessly and, instead, whacked the attacker in the face.

The attacker, who happened to be a Dragon, was also unharmed thanks to their scales - though they were a little disoriented. Upon regaining their bearings, they were greeted with the smiling face of Mrs. Velvet.

“Hello!” She greeted cheerily. “You’re just in time! I needed a test subject!” Before the Dragon had a chance to react, Mrs. Velvet impaled a syringe into their left eye and injected them with the fear poison she had managed to reverse engineer from Cloud’s DNA.

The effect was immediate, and flashes of horrific images appeared in the Dragon’s mind: Insects digging through their scales and burrowing into their flesh, a psychopath taking them apart piece by piece, the feeling of being buried under the bloated corpses of their friends and family - the images seemed endless.

Mrs. Velvet sipped at her coffee.

The Dragon ran around the room, screaming and clawing at themselves as they did. They trampled furniture, smashed vials and test tubes, knocked Mrs. Velvet to the ground and generally caused a large mess. Finally, now covered in a variety of Cloud’s bodily fluids, they ran out of the room, smashed through the front door and escaped into the streets, not noticing the trail of Cloud’s blood they had left behind.

Twilight blinked. A Dragon? She grit her teeth as she felt anger overtake her. Princess Ember…! I never expected her to stoop so low!

“Oh, calm down, dear!” Mrs. Velvet waved her hoof dismissively at her daughter’s scowling face. “I’m quite alright! More importantly, the Dragon was an ample test subject! I’ve solved you little anomaly!”

That got Twilight’s attention. “You did it?”

Mrs. Velvet nodded. “I did! And it’s quite fascinating!” Her smile faltered slightly. “Also… I only needed blood, dear. I appreciate knowing that I don’t have to give up the idea of grandchildren, but I didn’t need you to send me-”

“I-I sent you that because I didn’t know how the poison was administered!” Twilight exclaimed, her face as red as a babboon’s asshole. “The more varied the samples, the more chance I had of finding the results I needed! It was purely for work related reasons!”

“You shouldn’t mix work with ‘fun’, dear,” Mrs. Velvet continued. “You’ll risk mixing ‘the sample’ with-”

“No! No! Stop!” Begged Twilight. “This is gross! Stop it!”

Mrs. Velvet didn’t stop.

Twilight ran screaming in the same direction of the Dragon.

“...Livin’ in a lonely world~!” Cloud sang.

“You know you’re a crap singer, right?” Asked Mawr. “Making me deaf isn’t gonna make this go any faster.”

“We’re walking through a desert,” said Cloud, “trying to get to the other side of the planet. Would you rather we walk in silence?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Mawr stared straight ahead, suppressing her urge to murder.

Cloud sighed. “Fine.”

The two walked in silence. Not a word was said and not a sound was made. The sky was empty as ever, save for the sun, and the landscape was drearily boring.

Ten minutes passed.

Mawr rolled her eyes. “Three months of winter coolness-”

“-And awesome holidays~!” Cloud grinned.

Deep in the streets of Canterlot, Twilight finally stopped running. She stood still, panting for breath and trying to erase the previous conversation from her memory.

“That was...” Twilight shuddered. “That was horrible.” She shook her head before walking. Why does she always do this? Whenever I’m doing work with a guy, she always has to… go there. She did it with Wobbling Shuffles, she did it with Whooves Line-Is-It-Anyway, she did it with Sunburst and now she’s doing it with Cloud…

Twilight groaned and shook her head again. “I need to focus, I have more important things to think about.” She took a deep breath and straightened her posture. Princess Ember attacked my mother. Using deductive reasoning, I can safely presume that she intended to abduct her and use her as a deterrent against the Spirits of Harmony - my friends and me. She stopped walking. The first thing I should do is tell Shining Armour to station guards around our family members. Once the poison wears off, I don’t doubt she’ll try it again.

Once coming to a stop, Twilight turned and began walking towards the Ponyville shelters. A worried frown worked itself onto her face. As chaotic as things are here, I can only imagine how horrible things must be for Cloud...

“Winter wrap up, winter wrap up~!”

“Let’s finish our holiday cheer~!”

“Winter wrap up, winter wrap up~!”

“‘Cause tomorrow spring is here~!”

“‘Cause tomorrow spring is here~!”

Twilight reached the shelters to find a certain yellow Pegasus waiting for her.

“Twilight!” Fluttershy exclaimed, her voice shaking with fear.

“Not now, Bumblefly,” Twilight muttered, still deep in thought. “I need Spike to send a letter.”

“Something is horribly wrong with Spike!” She cried, getting Twilight’s attention.

“Wait, what?” Twilight felt panic returning to her. “Where is he?!” Did Princess Ember get to him?!

Fluttershy ran inside and Twilight followed. They quickly reached Spike’s room.

“Spike!” Twilight shouted, her voice full of worry. “Spike, what’s wrong?!”

Spike was rolling around in his bed, clawing at his scales and moaning. The words he was saying were impossible to understand; a deep, guttural groaning. Before Twilight could do anything to try to get through to him, Spike opened his eyes.

His left eye was red and bloodshot.

Author's Note

If a non-descript Pony whose interests included fashion and mane styles were present, they would be aghast. However, Fancy Pants was not present and, as such, was not aghast.

I forgot how much I enjoy making up stupid Pony names! :rainbowlaugh:

An Anomaly Administers Answers

Spike rolled around in his bed, moaning and clawing at his scales as horrific images flashed through his mind.

Twilight came to a halt. W-What?! It was Spike who-?! But, I-I-! Twilight took a deep breath and frowned. No. There’s clearly something going on here that I don’t understand. First of all, I need to go back home and ask mom about the results. Cloud’s reaction to the poison wasn’t anywhere near this powerful, and if this is from a reversed engineered version of the poison, the effect should be weaker, not stronger. This has to be related to the anomaly in the data.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight barked.

“Meep!” She meeped.

“Tell Rainbow Dash to find a royal guard,” Twilight teleported a piece of parchment and a quill next to her and hastily scribbled out a letter, “tell her to give them this.” Twilight gave the letter to Fluttershy. “I need you, Pinkie and Applejack to keep an eye on Spike, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”

“What about-?”

“I need to go investigate something, I’ll be back soon.” Without waiting for a reply, Twilight ran out of the building and through the streets.

Having finished her research, Mrs. Velvet hummed a happy tune as she cleaned up her lab with magic and an adequately sized broom. To the side of the room was a neat stack of paper - the data she knew Twilight would come back for.

Sure enough, when Mrs. Velvet was all but done cleaning up…

POW!

Twilight teleported into the pile of trash, scattering debris back around the room. With a roll of her eyes and a chuckle, Mrs. Velvet levitated the data over to Twilight before she could even reorient herself.

Twilight shook the DNA samples out of her mane and turned to her mother. “Mom!” She exclaimed. “I need-! Oh.” Twilight spotted the data. “Thank you.”

Mrs. Velvet smiled a warm smile before beginning her sweeping once again.

Flipping through the data, Twilight quickly found what she needed. I see… but how does he have…?

“Questions, dear?” Mrs. Velvet asked.

“Yes,” Twilight replied, “according to your data, the anomaly I discovered in Cloud’s DNA is of a magical origin. It’s almost as if his entire biological makeup is somehow… enchanted. But how? What does it mean? Why didn’t the poison affect him like S- y-your attacker?”

“Honestly, dear, it’s unlike anything I’ve seen before. There’s some kind of strange magic in him, something completely separate from any kind of Unicorn, Pegasus or Earth Pony magic. At least, any I’ve ever analysed.”

Twilight began chewing the inside of her cheek. “It must be related to his magic circles. Whatever they are, they’re tied moreso to his mind than his horn.”

“Precisely.” Mrs. Velvet nodded. “Yes, whatever it is, it’s closely involved with his mind. The poison seems to be magical in some way - I’m not sure in what way, that’s not my area of expertise - but the magic in his DNA seems to have protected his mind from experiencing the full effects.”

“That… could also explain his mood swings and magical outbursts,” Twilight continued. “If his Unicorn magic isn’t able to flow freely through his mind, hormonal issues would certainly occur.” Twilight sighed. “But why would Princess Celestia poison Cloud in the first place? It makes no sense!”

“If I had to guess, dear,” Mrs. Velvet butted in, “I would say it was an experiment; I think she was testing how powerful the anomaly is.”

“But why? Testing it for what?”

Mrs. Velvet shrugged. “If it were me, I suppose I would try to either use his blood as an antidote to mental magical maladies in a most miraculous manner of-!”

“Mom, focus.”

Mrs. Velvet cleared her throat and chuckled. “I’m sorry, dear. What I meant to say was that I would use it to create a universal antidote; an antidote to cure any kind of poison, or maybe even curse, which would affect the brain.”

After considering it for a moment, Twilight clicked her tongue in annoyance. “No. If what she wanted was as innocent as that, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” She sighed. “This didn’t clear up anything, I’m just as lost as before…”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, dear!” Mrs. Velvet laughed. “You’re one step closer to understanding. I know you can figure this out, there’s no one better suited for it!”

Twilight smiled. “Thanks, mom.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Velvet shoved the broom toward Twilight, “and you’re grounded until you help me clear this up.”

Twilight’s smile melted away. “Thanks, mom.” She sighed and began sweeping, holding the broom in a telekinesis spell. I at least learned one thing from all of this: If the anomaly really helps against mental attacks, I doubt Cloud’s memory loss is due to magic…

Though the Saddle Arabian sun would surely set soon, Cloud and Mawr were still many miles away from the next town. This was no issue for Mawr; she had transformed back into a Camel and had enough energy to last for another week of travel. Cloud, though starving, was having no issues with dehydration either. By casting a water conjuration spell, he was able to stay hydrated in the intense heat of the desert. However, there was an issue with this strategy: By using magical energy to create water for himself, Cloud was wasting his energy at a much faster rate. He felt as if he hadn’t eaten in days.

“We need to stop,” Cloud slurred. “I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. My legs are killing me, I’m starving and I walk any more I’m gonna collapse.” He sat on the ground.

Mawr stopped walking and turned to face him, frowning. “We don’t have time for this shit. The more you have to rest, the longer it’s gonna take for us to get to the next town.”

“Look, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t even know why Luna-”

“Princess Luna.”

Cloud scowled. “No! Screw your honourifics! If she’s so great and powerful, why didn’t she tell me she needed me herself?! She hasn’t been in a single one of my dreams since I was banished, so why the hell should I do-?!” Cloud found himself unable to speak, cut off by Mawr’s muting spell.

Now back in her normal form, Mawr was rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Would you stop wasting your energy shouting? You wasted enough with the damn singing earlier; it’s your own fault you’re doing so badly right now.”

Getting angry, Cloud tried to light up his horn only to have pain shoot through his head and sparks shoot through the end of his horn.

“Princess Luna can’t get to you from here,” Mawr continued, ignoring him, “the only reason she can get to anyone at night is by using her moon as a transmitter. You may not have noticed, but you’re on the other side of the world. There’s no way she can get to you from back in Equestria.”

After a few moments, Cloud sighed. “Look, either way I’m way too exhausted to continue. We’ve only been traveling a few hours but it already feels like weeks have passed.”

Mawr let out a very, very long groan. “Fine!” She pulled the map and money out of her legs. “Make yourself useful and hold these.” She shoved them into Cloud’s hooves before taking a few steps back. Emerald flames surrounded her as she transformed into a male Buffalo.

“Uh…”

She knelt down. “Climb on my back.”

“I was expecting a motivational speech or something, not this.”

“I don’t care!” Mawr shouted. “Just climb on my back! I left a sandwich on my nightstand and if I don’t get you back quickly my room’s gonna stink of cheese forever!”

Despite his horrible condition, Cloud couldn’t help but grin.

Mawr narrowed her eyes. “Don’t say it.”

“At least-!”

“Don’t say it.”

“It’ll smell-!”

“I will beat you within an inch of your life if you say it.”

“GOUDA!” Cloud fell into a fit of laughter, fuelled further by the look of malice upon Mawr’s face. He was so distracted, in fact, that he never noticed her walking behind him - not until she kicked him somewhere delicate.

It was an attack he didn’t brie coming.

Horsepital Bill

The city of Shirith was vast, so much so that the heights of its buildings competed with those in Manehatten and Canterlot. Even through sandstorms, over mountainous dunes and past the occasional boulder, Mawr could see the tops of Shirith’s buildings for three straight days of travel.

Still in the form of a Buffalo, and still lugging Cloud on her back, Mawr finally reached the edge of the city after two weeks of travel from the seemingly nameless town.

Though native to deserts, Buffalo were built to live in arid land. The seemingly endless deserts of sand Saddle Arabia presented were far more treacherous than the heated southern regions of Equestria. It was because of this that Mawr’s travel time was double what it could have been. Only being able to travel for six hours at a time slowed her pace to a crawl. Regardless, she had finally arrived.

Cloud had lost consciousness on the third day of travel, and was in very bad shape. His breathing was ragged, his body was grotesquely low on fat and he was so dehydrated that even a days more travel without water would surely kill him.

Mawr wasn’t doing much better; Cloud’s poor performance had barely given her a week's worth of energy. It was through sheer force of will (and Princess Luna’s horrifically intense training) that she didn’t collapse on the spot and quickly die. It was the same force of will which allowed her to trudge all the way to a hospital and transform back into her normal form before collapsing.

Ugh… I feel terrible…

Cloud opened his eyes to find himself, once again, in a hospital room. Here we go again…

To Cloud’s surprise, the hospital room looked very similar to the rooms in the Ponyville hospital. Other than a window showing a distant sea of sand, it wasn’t very dissimilar to Equestrian hospitals at all, at least to Cloud’s knowledge. Which is lacking…

“Ah, finally awake I see?” The voice was male and sounded particularly sly, as if its owner knew something which Cloud didn’t.

Turning to see the owner, Cloud spotted three Horses standing by the door to the room. Two were large, wearing tuxedos and sunglasses. The third Horse, standing between them, had a weedy look about him. He also wore a suit, along with an unsettling sneer on his face.

“Well then, let’s get down to business.” It was the third Horse who had been speaking.

“Where am I?” Cloud asked.

“Shirith General Hospital.” He replied quickly, as if knowing he’d ask.

“Where’s-?”

“Your Changeling friend?” His chuckle gave Cloud the sensation of teeth scraping along a chalkboard. “Well, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk about. You see, I happen to know who the two of you are.”

Cloud’s heart rate increased, as displayed by the cardiac monitor beside him. “You do?” Does he know about my past?!

“Oh, yes. Your little friend is responsible for the death of King Metamorph, ruler of the Changelings.” Wait, she did what?!

“Now,” the Horse began walking toward Cloud’s bed, the two larger Horses following closely behind, “I’m sure the Queen would be very happy if she were to get her hooves on the one responsible for killing her husband, happy enough to pay me quite handsomely…” As fascinating as this is, this isn’t what I need to hear!

“And what about me?” Cloud asked. This could be it!

“Oh, I know all about you.” The Horse sneered even harder. “You’re the Unicorn that killed those Canterlot Ponies and got yourself banished.”

Cloud sighed internally. Dammit…

“There are a few… things that I’d like you to do for me. Unless of course you want me to sell your friend to the Changeling Queen and ship you back to Equestria in a crate. I’m sure the Princesses wouldn’t be too happy to see you return.”

“Well, actually…”

“So what choice will you make? If you help me with my ‘chores’, I’ll let you and your friend go about your business. You can consider them your hospital bill. Hell, I’ve even pay you, I’m feeling generous.”

“I…” Don’t really have much of a choice. “Fine. What ‘chores’ do you need me to do?”

Somehow, his disgusting sneer grew further. “There’s a travelling merchant in town. He’s been… ‘selling’ in the wrong places at the wrong times; places and times that are causing my… ‘family’ problems.” Wow. This guy is almost as subtle as Pinkie Pie. “I need you to… ‘kill’ him.”

“I think you need to practice coming up with code words,” Cloud pointed out. “You could’ve said ‘dispose of’ or ‘shut him down’ or even ‘close up shop’.” He chuckled to himself. “Yeah, I like that last one.”

The Horse was frowning. At least that crappy sneer is gone.

“Fine, I need you to make him ‘close up shop’.”

“I cannot tell what you mean, you’re being far too subtle for my simple brain.”

The Horse snarled. “I won’t hesitate to send the bug to its grave.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cloud rolled his eyes. “So what’s this merchant’s name?”

“Ghyr Muhimm.”

Cloud’s stomach did a backflip.

“You’ll find him in the market district.” The trio of Horses walked back towards the door. “You have two days. Don’t keep me waiting.” The three of them left.

“Well, shit.” I seem to say that a lot…

Beneath the Canterlot castle existed the Canterlot dungeons. It was here that the most heinous of criminals were imprisoned (save for those ‘repurposed’ by Princess Luna). There was only a single prison worse than the Canterlot dungeons, a prison designed for the truly monstrous beings - the ‘everyone dies if they escape’ type of monstrous beings. However, it was in the Canterlot dungeons wherein Spike was lying on his side, shivering in fear as laughter echoed through his mind.

What’s wrong, little Dragon? The voice in his head asked. Are you afraid I’ll take control again? Afraid I’ll make you hurt again? When Spike didn’t reply, the voice continued laughing.

“Help me, Twilight…” Spike whispered. There was no one to hear him.

He was alone in the darkness.

Recognition

Wandering through the sandy streets of Shirith, Cloud looked for the market district. Would it have killed him to tell me how to get there? Aside from the occasional curious glance, the Horses passing him in the semi-crowded street paid him no mind. Interestingly (at least to Cloud); Horses weren’t the only species around. He passed by Griffons, Buffalo and even a yellow Pegasus. Having heard the Pegasus speaking in fluent Saddline (as far as he could tell, anyway), it seemed pointless to ask her for directions.

Cloud had no intention of killing Ghyr Muhimm. In fact, he hoped to instead save him by warning him to get out of the city. If I can warn him that people want him dead, we might be able to fake his death. That way, I can avoid losing my guide through the desert without killing one of the few decent people I’ve met. However, without the ability to speak nor read Saddline, Cloud was very much lost. He couldn’t ask for directions, he couldn’t read signs and he couldn’t follow contextual clues such as the sound of street vendors shouting about their products.

“Dammit,” Cloud groaned to himself, “this is gonna take forever.” Maybe I should go back to the hospital and try to rescue Mawr directly. Now that I’m rested, my magic should work just fine, but would magic be enough? As far as I know, they might have a figurative knife at her throat at all times. If I tried to get her out, they might kill her - or send her away or whatever - before I have a chance to save her. He stopped walking and kicked the ground, toppling a lump of sand. “Twilight would know what to do. Hell, she’d probably have at least six contingency plans thought up by now.” His heart sank. “Twilight…”

He deeply missed his friend and mentor. Though he tried as well as he could to keep her off of his mind, it seemed as if everything around him was doing its best to remind him of her: Horses reading thick tomes as they walked, ornate jewelry vaguely reminiscent of the Elements of Harmony, a hanging store sign with the exact symbol of Twilight’s cutie mark-

Cloud halted in his tracks and turned back to look again. Sure enough, there it was - Twilight’s cutie mark. Even the colours looked exactly the same.

Wasting no time to think, Cloud rushed to the door...

...Only to smack his head against it.

“Ow! Shit!” He sat at the doorstep and rubbed his face. After a few movements, he looked up, his jimmies thoroughly rustled. “Stupid door!” He kicked it with a forehoof. “AGH! BALLS!” He sucked on his hoof, trying to dull the pain.

It took little time for Cloud’s emotions to take over. Screw your locks! He lit up his horn and teleported inside.

Mawr finally stirred, but her eyes remained closed and her body remained still. I need intel.

Focusing on every sense but sight, she could feel that she was lying on something soft, presumably a bed and area she was in smelled sterile, though dusty. She could feel straps on each of her legs, clearly put in place to restrain her to the bed, and something which felt suspiciously like rope tied around her chest.

Most likely a room in the hospital. Restraints could be because I’m a Changeling, though I should keep in mind I may have been recognised - I passed out, so I’d have reverted to my normal form. I can’t hear any breathing, or any sign of life in general, so it’s likely that there’s no one else in the room. Even so…

Mawr opened her eyes the slightest of cracks, enough to vaguely see and yet not enough to anyone to notice they weren’t closed. She glanced around to room with only her eyes, being sure to remain still otherwise, and saw that she seemed to have been correct: It was indeed a hospital room, and it seemed to be empty of people.

Slowly, Mawr opened her eyes fully and checked again. Once absolutely sure that she was alone, she tried to light up her horn, only to wince in pain. Crap… She knew exactly the problem, even if she was unable to see it. The straps on her legs weren’t the only bonds on her; rope had been tied around her chest to limit her wing movements and a metal ring shining like gold had been slid onto her horn - a magic dampener.

A creation of Minotaur origin during the War of the Horns, a piece of history which even Princess Celestia struggled to remember, magic dampeners were designed to stop the magic of ancient monstrosities capable of overthrowing kingdoms. Though their design had been simplified over the millennia, they were no less effective and had become a standard in all Equestrian prisons.

“Dammit…” Mawr muttered. I can’t shapeshift with this thing on my head. I need to find another way to-

The doors to the room swung open, and into the room strolled a weedy looking, sneering Horse in a suit of fading colours. Following him were two large Horses, each wearing an identical costume: A tacky tuxedo and sleek sunglasses. The three of them approached her bed.

Wait, isn’t that-? Mawr mentally scolded herself. Crap, I must be in Shirith. She grit her teeth. I might be in trouble…

“Well, well, well,” began the leader of the three, “Dethen Pain. Or is it ‘Mawr’ these days? I can never keep up with all the changes you make.”

“Money Masterless,” Mawr spat. “It’s been a while.”

Money chuckled. “After all the work you did for my family, after the way you betrayed them, you think you can just waltz back into our city without a problem?”

Mawr couldn’t help but smirk. “How’s your father? I heard my little stunt pushed him over the edge, so to speak.”

“Well, actually,” it was Money’s turn to smirk, “it wasn’t your ‘little stunt’.” He laughed like a strangled cat. “I’m the one who did the pushing.”

Mawr laughed coldly, never breaking eye contact.

“Nevertheless, here you are,” Money’s sneer finally fell, “and I won’t give you chance to get away this time.” He clicked his tongue and his goons stood to attention. “Watch her. Make sure she doesn’t escape before I have a chance to ship her off to the Changeling Queen.” Money walked out of the room, and his goons stayed by Mawr’s bed.

Mawr’s smirk grew into a full smile. Perfect…

Author's Note

For anyone who didn't see the blog post, I'll be posting shorter chapters but at a more frequent rate.

Dusty Tomes and Musty Books

In a flash of light, Cloud appeared inside the building. He was in a dark room, and all around him were bookshelves packed tight with dusty tomes and musty books. Is this another library? After pulling a book off a shelf and leafing through it, Cloud quickly remembered he couldn’t read Saddline. Crap.I need to know why her cutie mark was on the sign. It doesn’t matter that I can’t read this, I might be able to figure a few things out from context clues. He returned the book to its shelf and began searching around the room.

It took little time for Cloud to notice the lack of windows. The only reason he could see at all was thanks to the dim flickerings of candlelight spilling out from a back room. Without thinking, he walked towards the room. Wait, what the…? The closer he grew to the room, the louder a ringing in his ears became. When he reached the doorway, the sound reached its loudest point; mildly annoying. What’s this strange feeling? It’s almost like… a telepathy spell?

Clearing his mind the best he could, Cloud focused on the strange energy he could feel. His horn began to feel the waves of it better, like sound to an ear or scent to a nose. He walked into the room, following the trail of energy, and quickly found the source of the magic:

Floating above a pedestal at the far end of the room was a thick tome. Light spread from it, and suddenly Cloud noticed a distinct lack of candles. So this tome was the light I could see, huh? He approached the book and reached out to touch it.

“Argh!” The book had burnt his hoof as soon as he made contact with it.

Frowning and sucking on his burn, Cloud instead tried picking the book up with a telekinesis spell.

“ARGH!” As soon as his magic touched the book, his horn was as burnt as his hoof. “Alright, you son of a manticore,” Cloud growled, “let’s see you burn this!” He summoned a Support Circle underneath the book, half expecting some other part of him to burn. Instead, something else happened entirely.

A brilliant flash of red streaked from the book before it seemed to melt into the Support Circle. From the area the melted book seeped into the circle spread a dark purple. Cloud could feel it in his mind; it wasn’t just colour which was changing, everything about the Support Circle twisted and warped into something different, something… new.

Its transformation finally finished, what used to be a Support Circle had become something strange and warped. Though still the same shape and size, the runes upon the circle now morphed continuously, almost as if cycling through a strange alphabet. It let off a dim light; dimmer than the book and yet just barely enough to see. I… what the… how did that…? I… I need to experiment with this. Despite how… wrong this thing feels, it would be idiotic to disregard this.

Cloud willed the corrupted circle to move, and it did. However, unlike the Support Circle it used to be, this circle moved very slowly. It was as if Cloud was having to drag it through a bog; as if it were fighting against him. Come on! He slowly dragged it back into the room of dust and must, walking backwards along the way and occasionally tugging his head back as if yanking at reigns.

This went on for several moments, until Cloud’s forcefully moving head smacked against an unseen bookshelf. Whilst he cursed in pain, a book fell from its shelf and onto the corrupted circle. Rather than hit it as if it were a solid surface, however, the book instead fell into the circle and disappeared. The circle rippled like a body of water disturbed by a stone.

Before he had time to comprehend what had happened to the book, Cloud’s eyes lit up like the sun. His brain felt almost aflame as knowledge coursed through his mind; words, letters and numbers poured through his head like scalding water. After an awfully long time, everything stopped. Cloud collapsed and the corrupted circle disappeared.

For an uncertain amount of time, Cloud lay unmoving - his mind adrift between awake and asleep. He remained like this, lying in the blindingly dark room, until a stranger began to break down the door.

BANG!

Cloud’s brain restarted. His vision was distorted, his body was heavy and there was too much on his mind to think about the loud noise. WHY DOES MY BRAIN FEEL LIKE IT TOOK A DIP IN A VOLCANO?! It was at that moment when Cloud realised that thinking made the pain worse.

“AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH-!”

BANG!

With the second thud, the front door came crashing down onto the floor. Light from the outside world streaked into the building, penetrating the darkness.

Realising something was wrong, Cloud tried to quickly climb to his hooves only to not at all quickly let out a groan. Suddenly, Cloud felt something fasten around his neck. With no energy to struggle and his eyes not showing him anything intelligible, he had no way to resist being dragged away by the mysterious stranger.

In Shirith General Hospital, on the seventh floor of the building, a room had been painted crimson with blood.

Mawr stood above the barely recognisable bodies of the two Horses set to guard her. Like the room, blood covered her. On the floor lay the magic dampener and rope formerly binding her. All but one of the restraints on the bed had been destroyed, and the bedsheets themselves were torn and bloody.

“That was easy enough,” Mawr muttered to herself. Cloud will either be imprisoned here somewhere, dead, or doing something under threat of whatever Money could think of. Besides death, the worst case is that he’ll attack me for a stupid reason Money came up with. I know I can’t stop Cloud without trying to kill him, so I’ll need to think of a way to- Oh! She picked up the dampener and stashed it in one of her many leg holes. That should do nicely.

“The fastest way to find out what happened to him should be asking Money,” she thought out loud. “I suppose I’ll go and have a talk with him.”

Thoughtlessly stepping over the bodies, Mawr made her way to the door and soon after to a stairwell.

Writer's Block - An SDR Fan Chapter

Author's Note

This is a non-canon fan chapter written by Darkest Dreams.
Huge thanks to them for doing this!

Writer's Block - An SDR Fan Chapter

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle sat down at her desk and started writing her own fanfic for the remake of a fanfic based on the fourth generation of a series she enjoyed. No. No I’m not. It's a letter to myself about the whole situation I'm in right now. Ah, sorry. I don't actually know for sure what you are doing as I'm just a reader stealing screen time. Can I please get on with writing this Cloud Report to myself and stop thinking random weird thoughts that are probably more meta than I am allowed to be? Oh. Yes, of course.

Dear Princess Celes-

“Oh fuck it!” Twilight screwed up the parchment she had in front of her and used her magic to incinerate it before it could offend her further. “Every Celestia damn time!”

Taking a deep breath to calm herself after muscle memory started the letter without her, Twilight levitated over a fresh sheet of parchment and attempted to begin her self-targeted letter over.

Dear Twilight,

This whole situation is fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

Now that the expletives are out of the way (Living with Cloud for as long as I did means I've absorbed some of his vulgarity, don't judge me, me), I should explain myself. The last time I reported was about how I'd sent off Cloud’s blood to my mother as Cloud himself was sent off to Tartarus-knows-where. This time I start with how my mother finished her analysis of the sample and discovered that Celestia had administered a potent fear poison to Cloud.

On the subject of Cloud, it turns out his entire self is somehow infused with-

“Twilight? Twilight?!” Rainbow Dash crashed into the room.

“What? I'm kinda busy here.” Twilight sent a death glare towards the intruder. If looks could kill, Rainbow’s brains would currently be pooling gradually around her hooves. Twilight knew a spell capable of such a gruesome feat but as homicide was frowned upon in Equestria, she elected to just stare instead.

“Do you want a coffee? Rar-” Rainbow was cut off by some unknown force that stopped her tongue from being able to finish the embargoed name she had attempted to utter.

“No. I have plenty of water here thank you.” Twilight turned off her tongue tie spell and pushed Rainbow firmly out the door and just before slamming it gently in Rainbow’s face, she imparted some friendly advice to her close friend, “I am busy. Tell everypony I am not to be disturbed until further notice.”

Now. Where was I? Twilight scanned the letter to restart her train of thought. Ah yes. Here we go.

On the subject of Cloud, it turns out his entire self is somehow infused with some form of magic. From what data we have, it seems to be connected directly to his mind which explains how his circles are tied to his willpower and not his innate unicorn magic. It also explains his hormonal issues and mood swings. I will look forward to testing some new theories I am forming when he is brought back. Hopefully he won't mind too much because he isn't getting the choice.

Back to my mother: after discovering the poison within Cloud’s blood, she went on to reverse engineer it, this proved to save her life. As she finished the poison she was attacked from behind, but her quick thinking and ruthless approach to science and the lives of others allowed her to jab a syringe full of the concentrated poison into the assailant’s eye, causing him to go wild and run away. I'm glad she is-

A gentle knock on the door somehow managed to break Twilight’s concentration enough that she knew couldn't continue the letter without the curiosity of what was calling her attention eating away at her for the rest of her life. Oh fuck it. “You may enter,” she called out to the door.

“Oh. Um… ok.” Fluttershy’s timid voice barely carried through the thin, cheap, door that was near enough just a bit of stiff cardboard stuck in a hole in an equally well constructed wall. Only the best building materials for New Ponyville.

“Hey uh… Fluttershy? What's up?” Twilight finally looked up from her as yet unfinished letter to properly see her friend currently standing in the doorway. Something about Fluttershy caused all who saw her to conform to her every request, probably something to do with her natural charm and not the fact she could just stare it out of everypony anyway. Twilight decided to investigate the peculiar phenomenon at a later date.

“Are you busy? I can come back later.”

Very. Extremely busy. This report to myself won't write itself. “No, not at all.” Nailed it. Twilight added investigation of Fluttershy’s mind control to the definitely add to my schedule list list mental list. Yes, she has mental lists to add stuff to lists that let her know she needs to add stuff to other lists.

“Oh, good,” Fluttershy visibly relaxed. “I wouldn't want to interrupt. I'll try not to take too long.”

“Take as long as you need.” Ha! In your face Celestia. I know how to socialise.

Fluttershy took a seat in the only other chair in the room. “I’ve been feeling so worried and scared. A lot of animals are still down there in Ponyville and I can't help but want to go save them all.”

After three hours, six bottles of wine and a thousand comforting pats, Fluttershy finally got her many worries off her chest. Twilight was trying to keep her smile looking as sincere as sympathetic as possible and to stop her eye from twitching whenever the Pegasus looked her way. Either she was better at acting than she thought, or Fluttershy was worse at noticing social clues than she was.

“...And that's why Zephyr Breeze thinks Rainbow Dash is into him.” Fluttershy gave a sigh of relief after opening the cage filled with her worries and allowing them all to fly away free and fulfil their lifelong dream of leaving Twilight Sparkle with permanent mental anguish for all eternity. “Oh but please don't tell Rainbow Dash, she'll be ever so upset,” she then eeped as she realised she'd revealed a few too many secrets.

“Of course I won't, I can keep a secret,” Twilight promised. Helps that I cast a short term memory loss spell after the bear story. Won't remember anything else. Although I don't really want to remember that either. Definitely won't be looking at Fluttershy the same way ever again.

Fluttershy visibly relaxed knowing Twilight would keep her secrets. “You're a very good listener, thank you. It really helped me. I won't keep you anymore, I need to get back to the animals that did make it here and make sure they are ok.”

Twilight’s smile was suddenly a lot easier to make sincere. “I'm sure they miss you greatly. Say hello to them for me won't you!” She proceeded to gently shove Fluttershy quickly out the door.

“Um… ok.” Fluttershy stood confused at how quickly she had managed to leave the room and couldn't quite remember how she had. She decided to just roll with it for once, she was in a good mood now the bulk of her worries had left for pastures new and she let it show as she trotted back to her precious animals with a spring in her trot.

On the other side of the door, Twilight pressed a hoof to the base of her horn. That mare can talk. I thought only intense magic could give me migraines like this. Well, intense magic and that insufferable and hyperactive menace-

Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere, startling Twilight and making her not only lose her train of thought but have it completely derail and crash into a mountain valley accompanied by the dying screams of many innocent thoughts and ideas.

“Holy mother of all things regal!” The unicorn reacted to the situation by channeling her inner Cloud and cursing loudly. However she was still Twilight Sparkle so the initial cursing was limited. The next thing she uttered was not as tame. “What the fuck Pinkie? What the actual monkey fuck?”

“If we did that, this story wouldn’t be family friendly.” Pinkie whispered with a conspiratorial smile.

“Family friendly story?”

“Yeah, you're right. It definitely isn't family friendly anyway. But still! No monkey stuff!”

“How do I tolerate you? You're insufferably insane.”

“I am everypony’s friend. Whether they like it or not. I've made many new friends now we are living in Canterlot. An entire city to befriend! That Ursa Major wasn't all bad.”

“I think you need to see somepony about your obvious abandonment issues and borderline Schizophrenia. Seriously. I can recommend a guy, he lives nearby.”

“Nah! My last therapist changed his name and moved to the ocean. Nowadays I go over to throw his birthday party each year. Keeps changing islands. It's like a global game of Go Seek.”

Can't even escape her by going off the grid? This mare would make an excellent spy. I'll keep that in mind if I ever need to break into anything. “Ever thought he maybe didn't want you to throw him parties?” Twilight raised a this-mare-is-crazy eyebrow.

“Of course he wants me to throw him parties. Everypony loves parties, and everypony who knows me is my friend.” Pinkie bounced around happily, oblivious to the fact Twilight was reinforcing her opinion that Pinkie was probably supposed to be locked in an asylum somewhere. Preferably on the moon.

“Not everypony can be your friend. Some ponies just don't get along with others.”

“Nope. Everypony is my friend. Everypony I ever meet loves me. I guarantee it.”

Somewhere deep underground.

“We must make progress, we cannot fail. That pink racist pest must be locked in a jail.”

“Eeyup.”

“We need to stop her before it's too late. There are only so many teeth a pony can grate.”

“Eeyup.”

“Sure. Whatever,” Twilight suppressed the urge to teleport Pinkie as far away as she could, knowing it'd only make things worse. “Listen. I'm trying to write a letter to myself, you think you could just find somepony else to hang out with right now?”

“Oh! Why didn't you say so?! Of course I'll let you write in peace. I'll go find Rainbow Dash. We haven't done a pranking spree since Ponyville got its newest resident. I don't see why I can't go back and make friends with the Ursa Major. I'm sure it just wants a friend to play with. I wonder what kinda cake an Ursa Maj-”

“Pinkie,” Twilight interrupted, “Trying to write?”

“Oh! Sorry. I'll see you later alligator!” Pinkie walked out the door backwards mumbling something about how she hadn't seen Gummy in a while.

Thank the Goddesses. Now I can write in peace again. Twilight sent a mental search party to recover any survivors from the wreckage of the Mental Express and adjusted her position so she was more comfortable and ready to write. With quill in magical aura and butt in comfy cushion, Twilight reread her letter and began to write once more.

I'm glad she is ok.

The conclusion to the day is what forced me to write this down, in the hopes what happened finally sinks in and the reality of the situation settles in my mind. I still find it hard to believe but upon my return to ‘New Ponyville’ I discovered that my mother’s attacker was none other than Spike, my long time trusted assistant. He was at home, clutching a swollen eye and screaming in terror. We locked him in the dungeons for now, but I'm finding his betrayal hard to swallow.

So my mentor and ruler turns out to be a devious psychopath, an ancient legend who arrived trying to destroy the world is the only sane godlike entity who appears to be a morally decent pony, my library is getting trashed by a giant bear made out of stars and the dragon I hatched and raised tried to kill my mother. I have a strong sense that this isn't how my life was supposed to pan out.

Twilight Sparkle.

Having finished the self-directed letter, Twilight let her head fall back and let out the longest sigh anypony in Equestria shall ever create. She rubbed her face with a hoof and then did her best impression of the fluid state of matter and melted off the chair into the floor.

A delicate, yet strong knock sounded at the door followed by the inviting smell of coffee. Twilight raised her head, pointed herself in the direction of the door and wondered if spending time with another one of her friends was worth it for the caffeinated beverage.

“Who is it?”

A dainty cough sounded behind the door, before a gentle intake of breath signified impending speech sounded. And then, the chapter ended.

Unanswered Questions

Sipping at her coffee, Twilight studied the maps on her desk. Well, the dramatic thing to do would be to send him to the complete other side of the world, but would Princess Celestia really be that dramatic? She ran a hoof over the Saddle Arabian desert. It would most likely be… Her hoof stopped in the east. ...Right about here.

There was a moment of silence as she questioned her own idea.

“Damn it!” Twilight groaned. She took one last sip of her coffee before teleporting the mug away. “Why is Princess Celestia acting so strange?! I normally wouldn’t have any trouble with scribing, but without knowing her intentions I have no idea where Cloud could be!” She began pacing back and forth.

After a few moments, a Lunar guard entered Twilight’s study. She stopped to look at him, and he nodded. This again...

Quickly teleporting into her bedroom, Twilight pulled up her mattress, revealing a satchel covered in numerous glowing runes. She grabbed ahold of the satchel, opened it up and took out a glimmering potion. Closing her eyes, Twilight drank the potion and darkness surrounded her.

Twilight’s eyes opened in the dream realm. Before her stood Princess Luna, a solemn look upon her face.

“Princess,” Twilight bowed, “why did you summon me?”

“I’m afraid I have grim news,” Princess Luna swiftly replied. “I alerted you that I was to enact an emergency plan of mine. It seems that the plan has failed.”

Twilight gulped dryly. “What do you mean? What was the plan? You told me that it had to kept an utmost secret, and-”

“I could not risk telling you at the time.” Princess Luna closed her eyes for a moment and their surroundings became the ancient castle of the two sisters. “Before my banishment, I planned for my defeat. Well,” she scoffed, “Nightmare planned for her defeat.”

“Princess, there’s something I don’t understand. You always refer to yourself in third person when talking about the time you were Nightmare Moon. Why?”

Princess Luna closed her eyes for a dramatic pause. “I was never Nightmare Moon. What Ponies call ‘Nightmare Moon’ was an affliction of an ancient spirit which corrupted my entire essence. Upon its invasion of my body, I was no longer myself. I had become a shadow of my former self; the darkest of dreams…”

Twilight paused, digesting the information. “So when I and rest of the Spirits used the Elements of Harmony-”

“-You were cleansing me of an illness. So to speak.”

Twilight chewed her lip. “I see…”

“Regardless, this is not why I come before you.” The ruined castle around them seemed to light up somewhat. “Nightmare developed a plan of action. Are you familiar with the concept of storing magical energy in objects?”

“Yes, thoroughly. My personal magic lessons with Princess Celestia involved magical history and theory. Energy crystals were a popular magical technology which slowly became obsolete.”

“They…?” Princess Luna frowned. “This is worrisome. No, they should not have become obsolete. One thousand years have passed since he-” She stopped herself and shook her head. “I digress. What is important is that I was in possession of an energy crystal. I stashed it away, deep within the castle dungeons with the hope of keeping it a secret from my sister. It seems that I was successful; one of my subordinates found it safely within its hiding place.”

I see where this is going. “You used your energy crystal the same way Princess Celestia used hers to send Cloud away?”

“Correct. I am impressed, Sparkle; few realise that my sister wears such a crystal around her neck.” She paused for a moment. “I indeed used the crystal in the same manner to send a guard of mine to retrieve him.”

“But, Princess, couldn’t you have just used the crystal to bring him back?”

“No.”

“Oh, okay.”

There was a pause.

“Continuing on: I sent her to the Saddle Arabian deserts, the most likely place for my sister to banish a Pony, under the orders to bring him back. However, far too much time has passed since she departed - she should have become in range for me to enter her dreams by now. I fear the worst. If your mother’s research proves to be correct, Cloud shall be vital in putting an end to whatever my sister is scheming.”

“Forgive my rudeness, Princess, but why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” Twilight frowned “I think I was in the right to know about this. We’re helping each other, after all.”

The Princess frowned back. “Do not mistake my request of your cooperation as a partnership, peasant. Your status as a Spirit of Harmony aside, you are not an equal of my sister nor myself.”

“So this whole time I’ve been giving you information...?” Twilight growled.

“Your information is mine by right, whelp! You are merely means to an end, do not think yourself higher.”

The was another pause, this one tense with anger.

“Then I suppose this ends our meeting, Your Highness.” Without waiting for a reply, Twilight cast a spell of waking, freeing her from the dream realm.

Though he was not unconscious, Cloud was not much better off. Blinded by pain, he hadn’t the slightest idea where his assailant was dragging him. He could make out the feeling of the sandy street beneath him, and over the tinnitus hear the busy streets. Few passers by, if any, seemed concerned about his situation - being dragged by the neck with a coarse, rope-like object.

After what felt like an hour, though he could hardly tell, he finally stopped.

“Ah, my little project returns!” A familiar male voice exclaimed. Where do I know that voice from…?

“Yeah, yeah,” an equally familiar female voice replied, “where’s the payment? We had a deal.” I can’t remember this one either… Damn, my head is killing me!

“That we did, though I did not expect Mr. Calculation here to be the one Mr. Masterless would send. It’s quite an irritant, if I’m honest.”

“Not my business. I just want what you promised.”

“What I promised is back where you found him.” The male voice sounded annoyed. “I would have thought you smart enough to discover it.”

“The only thing in that shack was this idiot and load of dust. Aside from your tomes, there was nothing else there at all.”

“That’s impossible!” The male gasped. “Unless-!” Cloud heard a shuffling sound, as if someone was searching through a saddle bag. Next, he felt a strange heat running up and down his body. “Damn… Damn it!” Something was kicked.

“You mean he’s…?”

“Yeah, he’s the one. Damn it…!” The male spit on the ground. “Fine, take him with us.”

“Hey! Our deal was-!”

“You’ll get your reward when I carve it out of him!” After a moment, he huffed in anger. “Take him to the caravan, we leave tonight.”

“Fine, but if you even think about double-crossing me-!”

“I would sooner kill you than cross you, Ms. Do. Now take this fool to the caravan.”

Knowing he was in danger, Cloud tried desperately to do anything. He wriggled and groaned, only managing sparks from his horn. After only a few seconds of this, a kick to his head finally knocked him unconscious.

A Lack of Progress

Upon waking, Cloud could finally see…

...The inside of a cage.

“Well, crap,” Cloud croaked. His voice sounded strained and, while he felt far better than he did previously, he still felt awful. His head was pounding, and his horn was so sore that he feared even the idea of testing his magic.

Slowly, he rose to his hooves. The cage was large, large enough for him to stand in and even large enough for him (if he were able) to jump. There was plenty of space for pacing, if he would ever feel up to it. Overall, the cage reminded him of the bathroom in the Ponyville library, minus the utilities of course.

Through the bars of the cage, Cloud could see a crude wooden floor. It was then he realised that the shaking he could feel was real rather than a trick of his wounded mind. Shaking? Right, right, they said something about a caravan. Dammit, can I ever catch a break?

Cloud inspected the bars of the cage more closely. There doesn't seem to be any kind of door here… It’s unlikely a Unicorn or Changeling teleported me in here, the spell is fairly complex. Then again, I have no idea who I'm dealing with. Next, he checked the ceiling. There was little light in the cage, making this take some minutes. Once again, no entryway. Finally, he checked the floor, and, finally, he found a compartment. Whether they flipped the cage over or of it was designed this way, there's no way I can get out through this.

Cloud began chewing the inside of his cheek. I'm too weak to try magic or brute force, and there's no way out of this right now. A few moments passed as he considered his options. The best option right now is to rest and try to figure out what in Tartarus just happened: I still don't know why Twilight’s mark was on that building, I don't know what that book did to me and I don't know who I've been captured by. Judging by the fact that this seems to be a caravan of some sorts, I probably have quite a bit of time of waiting. May as well make the most of it.

“[...I don't know where he is! I swear!]” Money Masterless cried out as Mawr stepped on his neck. “[I sent him to kill a business rival, but my people lost sight of him just west of the market district!]”

“[Oh great,]” Mawr sighed, “[more work for me.]” They were on the top floor of the hospital, in Money's office. Using a hospital as a base was discreet as well as profitable, which is why the Masterless family kept it as their headquarters in Shirith.

“[I've told you all I know, now release me!]”

I'll need some help to track that idiot down. Luckily for me, Shirith is a great place to hire mercenaries. Mawr transformed into a Minotaur as she thought, crushing Money's neck under her new weight. He writhed under her, his bloodshot eyes bulging from his skull. I may as well get the supplies for travel while I'm here, I don't know of I can put up with his whining any more.

“[YOU FUCKING BUG!]” Money gargled through his closing windpipe. [YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A PATHETIC TRAITOR!]”

Food and water are obvious enough for things we need, but being a herbivore he's sure to be picky. Whatever passes for jerky in these parts is plenty for me, and it'll keep well enough for a good while.

Money wheezed; he could no longer breath and his face was turning purple.

Leaf based vegetables are out of the question, it would rot before we ever left the city. Turnips are probably as good as I can get, but they'll still only last a couple of weeks. We'll need to stop frequently for more. Mawr sighed once again. Damn herbivore.

Money finally stopped struggling as the last of his life force drained away. After waiting a few seconds more to be sure he was indeed dead, Mawr transformed back into her normal form.

This asshole probably has money lying around, plenty to buy mercenaries at least.

Author's Note

I haven’t been able to have free time to write much lately, and since it’s been a long time since an update I decided I may as well post a half-chapter.

A Slight Amount of Progress

After analysing his situation and having a nap for an unknown amount of time, Cloud awoke feeling quite a bit better. Though he was unable to connect any dots regarding Twilight’s mark being in Shirith, he’d had enough time to digest the situation.

On awakening, Cloud could immediately see a big difference in his surroundings. On the wall opposite to his cage there now sat another cage.

Another occupied cage.

In the cage sat a grey, female Earth Pony. Her mane and tail were a dark purple, and her eyes a light blue. She sat with a blank look on her face, looking quite bored.

“Uh… Hello?” Cloud greeted, his voice still a little strained. “Miss?” The mare looked over at him with no change in expression nor composure.

“Hello.” She spoke in a monotone voice, void of emotion.

There was a short silence.

“I’m Cloud, what’s your name?”

“Maud.”

Another silence. Boy, what a sparkling conversationalist.

“Um… Would you happen to know what’s going on?” He asked, digging for something to go on.

“I have been abducted. Judging by your cage, I find it safe to assume you are in a similar situation.”

“Yeah, I am actually.” First things first; the culprits. “Do you know who took us? I was… in a bad state, to say the least, when they got me.”

“A Horse.”

Yet another silence.

“...Could you be more specific? Like, what they want, or where we are?”

“We are inside a travelling caravan heading south-west under the control of a group of what are most likely mercenaries consisting of various species. Their leader is a Horse who acts as if poorly hiding a superiority complex. I was taken for finding an artifact they seem to have interest in. It was an ancient energy crystal. From parts of conversations I heard while eavesdropping, the crystal is able to hold dark magical energy. I’m travelling the world for my rocktorate dissertation.”

A fourth silence followed.

“You aren’t a very good conversationalist,” said Maud.

Alright, let’s see… Weird magic book, circle seemed to absorb it, some kind of energy search, ‘carving it out’ of me, energy crystal… Most likely, the people who took me collect magical artifacts, or something like that, and I somehow absorbed one with my Support Circle.Still no idea how that happened… And what the hell was the deal with the other book? For now, I should-

The door to the room slammed open, interrupting Cloud’s thoughts. A large, blue Gryphon walked in, a satchel tucked under his left wing. He approached Cloud’s cage quickly and pulled the satchel out from under his wing.

“Hey!” Cloud exclaimed as best he could. “You! Where am I?!” The Gryphon ignored him and pulled the satchel open. “Listen to me, you unwiped asshole! If you don’t let me the hell out of here soon, I’m gonna wear your ass for a hat!” Shit, wait, he probably doesn’t speak Equest-

“Your obsession with my ass is noted,” the Gryphon replied, speaking in a deep and intimidating voice. Out of the satchel he pulled an oddly shaped crystal, a similar shape to that of an ice cream cone.

“Oh yeah?! Well... I’ll stick my horn up your ass if you don’t-!”

The Gryphon threw the crystal with incredible force at Cloud. It pierced his chest, digging deep enough to touch his spine. Cloud made the sound of a strangled cat and coughed up blood. He fell to the ground, in too much shock to think, and strained to look up at the Gryphon.

“Kill you?” Asked the Gryphon.

Cloud’s breath was rapid, panicked and shallow. He could feel his blood pooling below him and the energy in his body leaving him. He tried to speak, to scream, to anything, only cough up more blood. Finally, he could take no more and closed his eyes.

Author's Note

The second half of the half-chapter posted previously. Chapters will go back to normal length after this.

A Grand Escape

“I DON’T WANT TO CHOOSE!” Cloud sat bolt upright. His breaths were ragged and his chest felt tight.

Looking around, he quickly realised was still in his cage. Just… Just a nightmare… Mind racing, Cloud brought a hoof up to his chest. Wait, what? He looked down he looked down to see that his chest was heavily stitched, and wrapped in a makeshift bandage soaked with what he could only assume was his own blood. Aside from the obvious pain and discomfort, it felt to him to be in very good condition and, for the first time in a long time, his mind felt clear.

“Good to see that you’re awake,” said a monotone voice. Cloud looked to his left to see the voice belonged to Maud.

“What just happened?” The words flowed from his mouth with ease. “I feel healthy as a Horse in a… healthy condition.” He paused. “That was the first and last time I’m using that expression.”

“A Gryphon used the crystal I found to absorb magical energy from your body. He left you to die after taking it back. I performed surgery on you to save you.”

“You-?” Cloud stopped and groaned. “Yeah, sure, why not…” He checked himself over a little more thoroughly, and found that most of his entire body, like his chest and mind, was in surprisingly good condition. The crossbow scars remained, his chest was stitched and bandaged, he was a little dehydrated, but otherwise he felt just fine. How the hell would she get me to a condition this good?

“So you say you saved me, huh?” He asked, turning back to Maud.

“Yes.”

“You, a student of geology, performed life saving surgery on me?”

“Yes.”

“On a wound that so catastrophically fatal most medical professionals would announce me dead on arrival?” Maybe a little over the top, but even still...

“Yes.”

“While separated by two cages, each with three inch thick steel bars?”

“No. I went into your cage.” This mare...

“Oh, really? You did? You left your locked cage without the use of a key, or magic, or a bulldozer?”

“Yes.”

“And how exactly did you do that, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Like this.” Maud grabbed a bar of her cage in each hoof and pull them apart like wet spaghetti.

Cloud’s brain shut down for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Maud asked, as monotone as ever.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to reboot my brain.” He climbed to his hooves, walked over to the bars of his own cage and tried to copy Maud’s actions. They were as tough as he’d expected them to be, definitely thick solid steel, and they didn’t move a milimetre. This could be a trap; she could be one of my captors inside a trick cage to earn my-

Maud left her cage through the hole she’d made and sat opposite Cloud. She took the bars he was holding and, once again, easily pulled them apart.

“Like that.”

Cloud’s brain shut down for a moment.

Maud cocked her head to the side a single degree, and otherwise looked the same as ever. “Did your brain need to reboot again?”

“It sure did,” Cloud replied after a few moments. “So… you can just do that? Do you have some kind of affinity with metal, or minerals since you said you study rocks?”

She shrugged. “I’m just strong.”

“Okay then…” Well, if she’s the real deal... “Do you… wanna escape together?” Cloud asked.

Maud shrugged. “Sure.”

“Quiet down in there!” Yelled a deep, muffled voice. Heavy footsteps could be heard from behind the door, quickly thudding against wood as they approached.

Cloud hesitantly let a little magic flow to his horn, nervous that his body wasn’t ready, then smiled as he realised his fears were false. He did some quick stretches, powered his horn fully and stood ready, facing the door.

“Keep behind me,” he said, “and try to find something to take cover behind.”

Maud gave an unseen nod before walking behind a small tower of boxes.

Summoning a Support Circle, Cloud powered himself up as much as he could, filling his horn to its limit. His body was filled to the brim with magic, so much so he could feel his veins coursing with mystical energy.

Through the door came the blue Gryphon, the anger on his face melting to confusion for but a moment before swiftly returning.

“Cute,” he spat, “but the magic of a puny Unicorn could never-!” The beam of magic hit him like a steam train, carrying him back through the doorway. The Gryphon’s pained screams were inaudible past the ringing in Cloud’s ears. After a handful of seconds feeling like minutes, the ringing faded and the room was left in a perfect silence.

Cloud took a deep breath, washing out any trace of exhaustion inside of him with the air in his lungs, and relaxed his body. At the end of this mental cleansing, he smiled.

“Come on,” he called back to Maud. “Let’s get out of here.” Without checking if his words were heard, Cloud walked briskly out of the room.

“This seems like a poor plan,” Maud replied, walking out from behind the boxes. “You wasted a lot of energy doing that, and your body is still under stress.” Looking at the ground where he’d been standing, she saw a few clear splotches of blood. “You’re doing too much while you’re hurt.”

Too far too hear her, Cloud continued in stride. In the next room, he found boxes filled with files. He took a quick flick through a few. These seem like documentation on various magical artifacts, at least as far as I can tell. But why are they written in Equestrian? Actually, why did the Gryphon speak Equestrian? As if hoping to find answers, he continued pouring over the documents. After a little time, he found a file listing details on the crystal previously lodged in his chest. No time to read this now…

Quickly glancing around, Cloud noticed the unconscious Gryphon was wearing some kind of uniform. On the chest was a strange symbol which Cloud did not recognise.

Paying the symbol little mind, he tore the clothes from the Gryphon’s body and fashioned them into an impromptu saddlebag. He stashed the file inside, along with a handful of others.

“I’m impressed,” said Maud, in her usual tone. “You seem to be fluent in Saddline as well as modern Ponish.”

Cloud mentally sighed. “There were so many things wrong with that sentence that I have to break it down. First of all, it’s called Equestrian, I have that on terms with the student of a goddess, secondly, Equestrian is the only language I know, and third, I’ve given you absolutely no reason to think I can speak Saddline.”

“One, ‘Equestrian’ is a slang name. The languages true name is ‘Ponish’.”

“Sure,” Cloud rolled his eyes, “don’t address where I got it from-”

“By ‘student of a goddess’ I assume you’re referring to one of Princess Celestia's acolytes. I only know about two of them from when I used to read newspapers before going to school. If you aren’t talking about Acolyte Sparkle or Acolyte Shimmer I don’t know who specifically you’re referring to.”

“It’s Twilight Sparkle, and-”

“Two and three, you spoke Saddline earlier when talking to the Gryphon and you just read a collection of documents written in Saddline.”

Finally, Cloud was lost for words.

“From your silence,” Maud continued, “you seem to not know you were speaking and reading Saddline. Since I was abducted for finding a magical artifact, I can assume you were taken for the same, or a similar, reason. Is there any chance it could somehow do this? Better yet, do any of those documents,” she pointed to his bag, “go into detail of what you found?”

“Uh…” Cloud swallowed, trying to digest the new information. “I’ll, uh, check…” He began to check the files not in his bag, before suddenly stopping. “No, no…” He turned back to Maud. “They don’t have any pictures with them, and I have no idea what the name of what I found would be.” He grabbed a couple of files and motioned for her to look, forgetting they were written in Saddline. “They have very specific names, see? Like these ones; ‘Staff of Vampirism’, ‘Crown of Nebula’, ‘Amulet of Alicorns’, ‘Tube of Unreachable Fathoms’ - what the hell should I look for? ‘Book of Melting’?”

“I have literally no context to what you found.”

Cloud turned to her to begin explaining, but froze with a look of horror on his face. “Get down!”

Behind them stood a tall, ape-like creature donned in robes the same as the Gryphon, holding a crossbow big enough to be a ballista.

Cloud grabbed Maud by the head and pulled her down to the floor with him, just in time for the crossbow bolt to take out a few of his mane hairs.

The ape-creature threw aside the crossbow, and lunged toward Cloud. With a single swipe from its enormous fist, he was launched across the room. Lying dazed on the ground, the creature had no problem grabbing him by the throat and holding him high up against a wall.

His mind once again spinning and fading, Cloud barely caught the words escaping the creature’s mouth:

“Die in the name of the light.”

Its fingers tightened, and Cloud’s body went limp. All of this, for nothing…? After everything I’m just going to be taken out, again?! For the first time in a long time, rage overtook Cloud’s mind. No!A fire lit in his heart, and through adrenaline alone feeling returned to his limbs. Coherent thought left him.

The creature felt the muscles in Cloud’s neck suddenly strengthen, and frowned in confusion.

Cloud headbutted the creature and blasted him with magic as his horn connected with its eye. The creature was thrown back, howling in pain, only howling more when Cloud launched himself forward with a Support Circle and slamming his head into its abdomen. He buried his horn into the creature and unleashed his freshly charged beam attack. If his last beam was like a steam train, this one was like a freight train.

The puny wooden wall the creature crashed into didn’t stand a chance. Light shone through, revealing the deck of a ship at sea littered with crew of various species, all in uniform. They grabbed their weapons at the sight of him.

Sprinting out onto the deck without a second thought, Cloud ducked under the slash of a Minotaur’s sword and slammed a semi-charged Thunder Punch into his knee. A Support Circle carried him above the various arrows and crossbow bolts flying at him, then launched him hind leg first into the face of another Gryphon. He grabbed his body with magic, used him as a shield for the next volley of projectiles, then lit up the scene with a boosted blast of flames.

As the crew devolved into a frenzied panic, some trying to deal with the fire with others still firing at him, he teleported behind another ape creature and blasted the back of its knee with a magic bolt. With the kneecap smashed to pieces, the creature fell right into another beam attack pushing it into the flames on deck. Cloud spun as a Horse threw a punch at him and gave him a taste of Princess Luna’s counterattack. The Horse’s teeth shattered like glass against his hoof. Cloud ignored her screams, grabbed her and pulled her into the way of the Minotaur’s next sword swing. Using the second of cover, he battered the Minotaur with a torrent of water.

The Minotaur shrugged it off and kicked Cloud in the throat. He was only knocked down for a second, springing back up with an electric blast on the wet Minotaur. It fell to the ground with a thud. Cloud turned, ready for whatever attack was next.

“Here!” Shouted Maud, still somehow in a monotone voice.

Some semblance of coherence re-entered Cloud’s mind and his head whipped around to her. She’d prepared a rowboat in the chaos, ready to cast off at any time. He ran in her direction, but didn’t notice the large blue Gryphon back on his feet. The Gryphon flew at him with the speed of a cannon and buried his talons into Cloud’s side. The bags taking the the sharp claws, Cloud was instead hurled from the force of the hit. He fell onto his side, but kicked off a screaming victim of his flames to land back on his hooves.

The Gryphon threw himself at Cloud with a wing-boosted punch, only to get a facefull of the counter-attack. He didn’t miss a beat, and grabbed Cloud’s face with his beak before slashing at his chest. Cloud’s chest wound reopened fully, and blood quickly covered the both of them.

With a punch that could bend steel bars like putty, Maud’s hoof belted into the Gryphon’s face. The pure power from the hit was enough to create a shockwave putting out the fires. Within the same second, she grabbed Cloud and pulled him to the rowboat before the Gryphon even landed from her punch. She bit a chunk of the rope holding the boat up and they fell into the water. With the power of a speedboat engine, she rocketed them through the water at near breakneck speeds and the two of them quickly vanished over the horizon.

Author's Note

Shores of The East

After a week of travel, Mawr and her small band of just under a dozen mercenaries reached the outskirts of Alhut - a small fishing village to the far south-west of Shirith.

“[Alright, they’ve headed more or less in a straight direction,]” Mawr announced over her shoulder, “[if they stick with this pattern, we’ll have to cross the ocean to Zebrica. Anyone who isn’t going to join me that far let me know when we reach whatever passes for a tavern around here.]”

“[Yes, they headed south-west and hit every major city on the way - assuming whoever you’re after didn’t pay off all those who gave you the information,]” a mercenary Horse called back. He wore a light beige scarf which billowed out into a cape behind him, contrasting with his black mane and tail. Strapped onto his left side sat a scabbard housing a scimitar. He stood tall and strong, skinny yet muscular, and an old scar ran deep across the right side of his face.

“[Your name’s Kufn, right?]” Mawr asked, slowing to match his pace beside him. She had remained in her Changeling form, the journey from the last village they’d visited to Alhut being short.

“[That it is,]” he nodded. “[Though I fail to see why it matters in regards to my question.]”

“[Well, Kufn, let me tell you something I’m sure you’ll one day find useful: Money means little when you take hostages. Blood is the highest of prices.]”

Kufn raised an eyebrow at this, but made no immediate remark, merely watching as Mawr hastened to the front of the group.

“[Why are Equestrian mercs always so dramatic?]” He murmured.

An hour more they marched, until they reached the village proper. Mawr split the party into three groups: One to search the seafront of the town, focusing on ships recently bought or left for a long voyage; the second to search the market streets, questioning merchants about large rations of food. The third group were to join her in questioning the taverner - a group as large as they were tracking would need more than a day, and seaside liquor loosened lips.

Mawr was joined by Kufn, as well as a Zebra sorceress going by the strange name of Carry On and a brutish Minotaur named Aima. The speech of the latter was broken even in his own tongue, and Mawr’s natural affinity with language did little to help her comprehend his words. All across his body, strapped onto him in various ways, were large knives. Each with an edge razor sharp enough to slice through Changeling chitin like the skin of an orange. Carry On had a surprisingly similar getup: A leather bandolier across her midsection and matching belt across her waist. Rather than knives, Carry carried small sacks of various potion reagents, save for her belt which sported a few potions.

The tavern’s inside was snug, fitting for a town of Alhut’s size. Few patrons were present, at most half a dozen. A few quick and subtle flicks of Mawr’s head and tail orchestrated her orders to her hired help. Aima was to wait by the door, preventing any significant individuals from making a hasty retreat. Kufn was to sit at a table far end of the room, the most likely direction of an ambush and the best place to create an ambush of their own. Carry was to stay near Mawr, to watch her back against any unsavoury patrons creeping into her blind spots. Mawr herself was the one to do the talking.

Everyone moved into place. The barkeep, an older Horse seeming keen on polishing a particular mug, kept his gaze fixed to Mawr. Being in her natural form, she was struck with many a glare. The barkeep was no exception.

“[‘Less you’re wanting beer, we don’t serve your kind here, bug]” the barkeep grumbled. Mawr raised her eyebrows in slight disgust.

“[As if I’d want anything stronger from a thing like you.]” She’d added a slight upper-class accent to her voice, giving her a haughty presence. “[Set me a pint.]”

With a grumble under his breath, the barkeep grabbed a bottle from beneath the counter and slammed it on top. Mawr took the bottle in a hoof, then flicked a sandpaper sheet onto the counter in its place. She took a swig as the barkeep took a glance over the money. Deciding it genuine enough, he slid it toward himself and out of her view.

“[Your friend here not thirsty?]” He nodded toward Carry.

“[No, darling,]” Carry spoke for herself, “[what I’m thirsty for is information.]”

The barkeep narrowed his eyes. “[We got beer. If you’re not having beer, you're not having anything.]” A moment of quiet, filled with distant sounds of cheering and clinking of bottles.

“[That,]” Mawr started, “[is where you’re wrong.]” She placed the bottle on the bar counter. “[You're going to tell us about the group that passed through here recently.]”

The barkeep said nothing, yet his silence spoke volumes.

“[A group,] she continued, “[at least somewhat large, coming from the north-east and probably headed west. There’s no doubt in my mind they passed through here.]”

He was sweating now, but furrowed his brow and held his ground.

“[They had some cargo, some… living cargo.]” She frowned. “[My cargo.]” She picked up her drink and took another swig before replacing it on the counter. “[I’ve spent more time than I wanted to simply trying to take back what’s mine. Now, you’re going to tell me what I want to know. I'd hate to have to dirty this lovely bar of yours.]”

The barkeep was breathing rapidly now, clearly perturbed by Mawr’s words. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. Finally, he leaned forward and spoke in a hushed voice.

“[He is our lord, and you non-believers shall perish.]”

Mawr blinked. “[Wha-]”

With a sudden surge of energy, the barkeep thrust a knife at Mawr’s eye, only for it to be blocked by the blade of Kufn’s scimitar. Mawr fell back, landing on her rump. Kufn stood to her right, sword held in mouth. After a moment of time standing still, Kufn slipped his blade past the barkeep’s and slit his neck like a begger’s purse.

Patrons screamed at the sight of the barkeep choking on his own blood as it spilled from his neck, and they quickly fled from the building.

With an offer of his hoof, Kufn helped Mawr to stand.

“Thanks,” she muttered.

“[I'm gonna assume you were complimenting the size of my sword,]” he replied. “[They got on a sizable boat sailed down from Siline, a city north from here. Stayed here a short while first, stocked up on provisions, then left a couple of days ago.]”

Mawr frowned. “[And you know this how?]”

“[Had a drink with a couple of guys over there,]” he motioned his head to the table he'd sat at. “[Blood and drama may be all well and good, but I prefer a friendly drink and a chat.]”

“Dammit, not that ‘friendship’ crap again…”

“[Oh, and ‘less you can turn into a boat, I bought us passage across the Crimson Sea.]” He took her beer from the counter and finished it off. “[After you, boss.]”

Mawr narrowed her eyes, but lead them out of the bar.

Shores of The West

On the outskirts of a Zebrican jungle lay a long, white beach occasionally lapped at by the sea. Along this beach was a smashed rowboat beside an unconscious Unicorn and an Earth Pony enjoying her lunch with a joyously solemn expression.

“I hate this pattern of waking up in horrible pain,” Cloud moaned. He tried to roll over so he could stand, but his body decided against it.

Maud glanced over from her sandwich. “You shouldn’t try to move. You’re in a very bad physical state.”

“Wonderful. Well, doc, what’s the damage?”

“Your body is covered in scars from crossbow wounds that weren’t treated properly, your chest has been torn open and crudely stitched back together twice, and you have numerous bruises across your body.” She paused. “You lost a lot of blood.”

Cloud nodded as she finished. “Well, that would explain why I feel so cold.” He looked down at his chest. Once again, it had been stitched up messily, but it was in very bad condition. Clearly, there hadn’t been much flesh left to stitch up.

The two sat and lay in silence for a while, as the less injured of them ate. When she had finished eating her sandwich, Maud walked to the smashed rowboat and rummaged through their few belongings.

“Where’d you get that food, anyway?” Cloud asked, his voice little more than a croak.

“There were a few supplies in the boat,” she replied. “For emergencies, most likely.” She pulled a shredded piece of cloth out of the boat. “That bag you had was torn in the fight. I used some of it to mop up your blood. This is all that’s left.” She held out the piece for Cloud to see. The surviving cloth had been a piece emblazoned with the strange eye symbol.

“Bag…” Cloud’s mind was slow in his current state, making his memories a battle to recall. “I vaguely remember that symbol from the clothes they were wearing - our kidnappers I mean - but I don’t remember finding a bag.” His vision was spinning ever so slightly, doing nothing to help him focus.

“You made it.” Maud turned back to the boat. “You put some of the papers inside it.” This time she pulled out three sheets of paper. “The logs on magical items. A lot of the ones you took were torn up. Only these three were fine.”

“Those I can remember, for the most part.” Those were when she told me I’m bilingual… “You’re sure they’re not written in Equestrian? I don’t know Saddline, it just doesn’t make any sense.”

Maud nodded. “I’m certain.”

Troubled with this, Cloud gazed into the clear blue sky, deep in thought. I need to think about this. If I can go through what’s happened to me recently, maybe I can figure this out. At the very least, I can come up with a theory...

...Only my head’s so light that if it were any lighter…

Cloud blinked. “What was I thinking about?”

Maud’s brow furrowed ever so slightly.

“...This sand sure is comfy…”

“I’m starting to think I should have tried looking for any nearby towns or cities rather than make this sandwich,” Maud thought aloud.

Cloud was silent.

“Or anyone with medical supplies, really.”

A few more moments passed with no reply. Maud walked over to him and took his head in her hooves.

“Oh no, I think I’m starting to panic,” she said in her normal voice. “This is a very distressing situation.”

After a pause for dramatic effect on the off-chance an audience of some kind was experiencing her actions through some form of media, Maud walked back over to the boat and tore chunks of wood away with a bare hoof. After she had half a dozen chunks, she went to work bashing them into each other.

“I had boat-er hurry,” she told no one. “This isn’t the time for a wooden performance, sand if anypony were watching me I couldn’t let them sea me tree-t this stallion so p-oar-ly. There isn’t any way I can let him die this young-le, oar let him haunt me because he was salty.” Maud smiled. “I like puns.”

Turning back to the dying stallion behind her, Maud brandished her newly fashioned wooden sled (complete with a polished shine).

“I won’t let you die.” She cried, the usual amount of emotion in her voice.

“...Y-You…” Cloud choked, a moment away from passing out again.

Maud took his hoof in hers in the most dramatic manner she was capable of. “What is it. What are you trying to say.” Without inflection in her voice, her questions had become statements.

“...Your… Your stage name… should be ‘Tissue Paper’...” Cloud coughed, his breaths becoming ragged. “...Because your puns are tear-able…” Cloud’s body went limp and his eyes closed.

“Stallion whose name I haven’t committed to memory, nooooooo.”

Now not being forced to make puns, his body relaxed and his breathing became relatively stable.

“Well, anyway.” Maud shoved him onto the sled, finished her sandwich, then pulled him away in a most panicked brisk walk.

Amazingly, when Cloud woke again he wasn’t in horrible pain.

“That's a first,” he muttered to himself. His words came easily, without the slightest hint of a struggle. “...And my voice is better. Nifty.” Feeling pretty good, he glanced around the room for the smallest chance of figuring out where he was.

He was inside a hut of some kind, that much was clear. The walls sloped towards each other, making the room like the upper half of a sphere. The walls were made of some kind of plant fibre, woven together in such a way that Cloud was reminded of a thatchwork roof of a cottage. What the plants were specifically he couldn’t be sure, but they gave off the pleasant smell of a freshly mowed lawn. Light shone through tiny in the makeup of the wall, lighting the room as bright as a day in the sun.

At first glance, the ground seemed to be earth and more random plant fibres, as if the hut was put up in the middle of a forest or jungle. On closer inspection, however, the ground was fashioned from dark brown bricks. They did indeed seem to be made from earth, and a few of them had some plant fibres within, but they had a similar feel to that of the tiles making up Twilight’s kitchen floor.

Now standing from his floor inspection, Cloud turned to see what he had been sleeping in: A hammock fashion from vines and more mystery wall-plant. The ends of the hammock came to the ceiling, attached by a pair of very out-of-place looking bolts.

Definitely not the worst place I’ve woken up in. He took a deep breath through his nose and smiled. Man does this place feel great to breath in! Except I shouldn’t feel great in the slightest with the injuries I have. Cloud looked down at himself, and froze. His chest… was healed. His fur had grown back matted, and there was a lot of very obvious scar tissue, but the wound looked as if it had been healthy for years. He gently pressed a hoof to it. ...As firm as any other part of me.

He tried inspecting the rest of himself - his head, his crossbow scars - to find them in similar condition. The crossbow scars were smoother than before, properly treated and slightly faded, as if - again - years had passed. His head felt completely fine.

It seems a little risky, but it feels like I can do it.

Very carefully, Cloud let his magic flow to his horn. He took his time, being as observant as he could to notice any kind of ache or pain. After charging it to a comfortable point with no problems, he sighed in relief and smiled. With far less care, Cloud cast a water conjuration spell onto the ground, making a small puddle to use as a mirror. Gazing into it, he could see very clearly where his head injury should have been. Only…

“It is healed,” announced a deep, female voice from behind him.

Turning to the voice, Cloud saw a Zebra. Her mane and tail were both cut short, she wore a set of calming green robes, and a small badge of a bone was pinned to her lapel.

“You injuries have been seen to,” she continued, “and your mind soothed-”

“What’s with the stripes?”

“-to a stable point. Your friend is safe, waiting for you in-”

“Are you a Horse or a Pony?”

“-In…” She blinked, trying to keep her cool and mysterious demeanor. “In a-”

“Where’s the stuff Maud had?”

“Holy shit, would you shut up?” She snarled.

There was a short silence.

“My apologies,” she sighed. “Welcome to the village of-”

“How long has it been since I was on that beach?”

“Okay, fuck you.”

After many more interruptions, the Zebra finally managed to say information of value.

“I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU INFORMATION OF VALUE! JUST SHUT UP-!”

However, it was a good hour before the actual information could be said.

“Look, here’s the deal you bone headed piece of-”

“That’s racist.”

She slapped him.

“YOU ARE HEALED, THE VILLAGE’S NAME IS OREGANO, YOUR EMOTIONLESS FRIEND IS SOMEWHERE AROUND-”

“She’s not ‘emotionless’, just not very energetic with-”

She slapped him again before storming out, uttering every curse she knew as she left.

Cloud nodded. “Yep, that was productive.”

His face now once again marked from blunt force, he strolled outside.

Author's Note

“What’s a competency-?”

Oregano

Walking out of the medical hut, Cloud found himself in a village surrounded by jungle. Light poured in from a small clearing above, but the surrounding nature landscape was shady. A cool breeze carried the smell of nature to his nose. The village was small, a third of the size of Ponyville and, save for Cloud and Maud, inhabited completely by Zebras.

Zebras, while roughly the same shape and size as Ponies, were far worse off physically. They lacked greatly in magic, though even the most inept Zebra could best an average Pony at herbalism and potion production. Like Horses, Zebras were generally more intelligent than Ponies, though this was more due to culture than any kind of physical difference.

Once again, Cloud’s ignorance had the better of him.

“Wow, all of these guys are stripey!” He thought aloud. “I shouldn’t drink the water around here.” Ignoring the dirty looks thrown his way, he took a look at the medical hut - the building he’d just left. It was a large and cone-shaped in structure, not unlike something Cloud read back in the Ponyville library about shelters for camping made from natural materials. This, however, was as large as a house.

“They didn’t use any stone,” a familiarly flat voice observed. “I’m offended.”

Cloud turned and smiled. “Hey, Maud.”

“Hello, person,” she nodded. “Most houses here use at least clay hidden by later added foliage, but some are just wood or huts like this.”

“My, uh, my name’s Cl-”

“A lot of Saddle Arabian buildings use sandstone and glass, most foraged and processed locally. That is far better than clay. Clay is the lazy person’s stone.”

“I’ve been unconscious most of the time but we’ve known each other for a few weeks now-”

“I miss Equestria-”

“I mister Cloud.”

“-the rich communities allowed for advanced construction and varied materials. While most used limestone as a base, so many buildings had extra elements built onto them,” Maud spoke with emotionless passion, and Cloud found himself too interested to interrupt like the asshole he was. “Canterlot is especially beautiful, at least from what my sister has told me. It used to be a mining town, you know. In respect for its history as well as it being the residence of the crown, gold is used to plate rooftops. That as well as its mining history is why I really want to visit there someday.”

“I’ve actually been there, you know,” said Cloud. “I... didn’t really have time to look around, but the little I did see really was beautiful.” Actually… “You said you were on your, uh… was it ‘rocktorate dissertation’?”

“Yes,” Maud nodded. “I’m a student of geology.”

“You’ve mentioned before.” As if I couldn’t tell from your whole monologue there… “Why didn’t you visit Canterlot? Actually, now that I think about it, where are you from? You speak Equestrian so fluently I hadn’t thought to ask.”

“I’m from Equestria, and the languages name is ‘Ponish’,” she reminded him again, earning a roll of eyes. “I had wanted to go to Canterlot, in fact I had planned a trip visiting most cities and rock related landmarks all over Equestria. I was especially interested in a cutie mark stealing monolith I had read about. However, my sister insisted-”

“More like in-sistered!”

Rather than slap him as most would at a pun so heinous, Maud couldn’t help but show the slightest sign of a smile. “Anyway,” she continued, “my sister insisted I go to Saddle Arabia instead. She has a…” her smile faded, “...sense for a lot of things. I know better than to not take her advice.” Ominous…

“Well, alright then.” Cloud smiled. “Thanks for getting me medical help, and stitching me up back in the cage.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of them stood there a few moments, neither good at conversation nor with any topics coming to mind.

“Well, I’m honestly not sure what I should do now,” Cloud admitted. “The last… Hell, I lost track of time an immediately previously mentioned undetermined amount of time ago.” That’s a really stupid saying. “The short version is; I need to get to Equestria for reasons I’m unsure of at best.”

“Sorry, but I can’t do anything to help you. I need to get back to my rocktorate dissertation.” She paused. “No offence, but you would only get in the way if you joined me.”

Cloud frowned slightly. “You know the point of saying ‘no offence’...” He shook his head and smiled. “Whatever. This place seems interesting and nobody’s trying to kill me, attack me, blackmail me or all of the above, which is a first, and the doctor who healed me didn’t just stabilize me for blackmailing or poison me for reasons I…” his smile faded, “...never found the truth behind. Anyway, point being I’m gonna stick around for a while.” He stuck his hoof out. “Thanks again, Maud. I hope we meet again under better conditions.”

Maud shook his hoof and nodded. “Oh, and here’s that scrap of cloth and three surviving papers.” She pulled out a tiny sack out of somewhere Cloud didn’t see and handed it over. Taking a closer look, he could see that Maud had tied the cloth in such a way that it made the sack and held the papers inside. This is nicely made. That reminds me...

“How are you so strong, by the way?” He asked. “Do your rock studies include intense training?”

Maud shook her head. “No. I’m just a mare who studies rocks for fun.”

“That doesn’t answer my question but okay then.”

Cloud watched as Maud walked away, and gave a final wave before she rounded a corner and he lost sight of her.

“Well,” Cloud thought aloud, “I have no money, nowhere to stay, and no plan.” He thought to himself not-aloud for a moment before placing the sack on his back. “Guess I’ll go talk to the village leader.”

Presuming the village leader would be compensating for something, Cloud headed to the largest building he could see, at the edge of the town.

The building was tall, about as tall as the Ponyville library. Its main body was like a clocktower; a tall cuboid of clay bricks - complete with a clock - with two smaller cuboids either side. Beside its large double doors were pillars, only the pillars were made of the trunks of tall trees. All across the building was a varying amount of flora and foliage. It almost blended in with the surrounding jungle, if it weren’t for the fact it was very clearly a building. Maybe it’s more convincing from the back.

Cloud strolled up to the doors and gave them a push. They opened easily, though slowly, revealing to him a lobby. The room was about the size of the upstairs library in Twilight’s tower in Canterlot. In the centre of the room was a rounded receptionist desk, complete with a Zebra receptionist reading a book. Cloud approached the desk, and the receptionist looked up from her book. She gave him the smile of someone in customer service.

“{Good afternoon,}” she greeted in Zebrican, “{my name is Storun, how may I help you today?}”

“Ah, crap… Um, do you speak Eq- uh, Ponish?” Cloud asked.

“{Fuck me, this is even better.}” Storun smiled as she spoke, hiding her extreme discontent.

“That’s a no. Uh…” Cloud scratched his chin as he tried to think of some way to communicate. Well, this place is relatively close to Saddle Arabia… I still don’t understand what this is or how it works, but… Cloud closed his eyes and focused specifically on the intent behind his words. Aiming on what he wanted to get across rather than what he was saying, he opened his eyes and tried to speak in Saddline. “[I don’t understand you. Do you speak Saddline?]”

Storun’s very forced smile faltered for a moment. “[Uh... Yes, I does,]” she now spoke in Saddline, though a little slowly due to a lack of practice and general ability, “[how may I helps you now?]” Yes!

“[Is this the town hall?]” Cloud asked. “[I’d like to speak to whoever’s in charge around here.]”

“{Yeah, waltz in here and expect you can just see Núl whenever you want!}” Storun’s smiled remained, years of dealing with people keeping it strong no matter how much hate burned inside her. “[Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not best at Saddline. What I mean to say is Mr Nvoid is busy now. Soonest appointment is in month.]”

“[That’s… bad.]” Cloud sighed sadly. “[You’re sure there’s no way I can speak to him sooner? I just need to ask about a few things.]”

There was a short pause as Storun translated his words in her mind, but she eventually shook her head.

“[No way to,]” she replied, “[only way to see is with appointment. Need to wait month.]”

“[Well…]” Better in a month than not at all. Besides, I can probably find some other way to talk to the guy. “[Okay then. Can I schedule that appointment?]”

“{Damn you and your stupid bony head!}” Storun smiled. “[Yes, may I have name?]”

“Cloud Calculation.”

There was a pause as Storun tried to decipher what he’d said. After about a minute, she scribbled down a notice of appointment for Núl Nvoid on a thick piece of brown paper, then offered the paper to Cloud.

“[Sign, please.]”

“[Could I have a quill?]” Cloud asked.

Storun frowned, not appearing to recognise the word ‘quill’.

“[Nevermind…]” What if I…? Cloud took the paper in a hoof, charged his horn a little and, with incredible focus and great care, let off a tiny version of his red electrical beam. He aimed it at the paper and crudely wrote out his name. He ended the beam as soon as he was done, not wanting to risk a magical overload. Good to know I can adjust the aim slightly without moving my head.

While her smile remained, the rest of Storun’s face was twisted with worry and fear. “{Pony freak…} [Thank you, this will be process soon.]”

“[I, uh, I’ll go then,]” said Cloud, after a moment of standing around dumbly.

“[Have a nice day!]” Storun waved. “{Eat shit!}”

“{E.. Eat shit!}” Cloud repeated, thinking he was saying goodbye.

As he left the building, Storun’s smile finally dropped and her face molded into a frown. “{Asshole.}” She took a slightly worried glance at the signed piece of paper before shrugging and tossing it into the trash.

“[Ba de ya~! Dancin’ in September~!]”

“[Would you shut up?]” Barked Mawr. “[I’ve had my fill of singing on this damn mission.]”

“[Alright, alright,]” replied Kufn. He, Mawr and half a dozen other mercenaries were aboard a ship headed across the Crimson Sea, “[You really need to pick up some hobbies, Ms Murder.]”

“[No, what I need is my pay tripled.]” She sighed. “[How much longer until we can get off this thing?]”

“[Not a fan of boats, huh?]” Kufn asked. “[I suppose it’s very different from flying or poofing with magic.]”

“[It’s funny, you open your mouth, but nothing useful comes out.]”

“[You should really loosen up,]” he yawned, a smile on his lips. “[We’ve got another couple of days before we reach port.]” He tapped a rear hoof to the beat of the song playing in his mind. This did not go unnoticed by Mawr, who frowned deeper. “[So what’s with your whole ‘intense badass’ theme you’ve got going?]” He laughed. His laugh was hearty and full, coming straight from his lungs. “[If you were any more intense, your eyes would be red to go with your black body!]”

Laugh at this, you annoying, unmagical mud Pony... In a split second, Mawr transformed her front right hoof into a Gryphon’s talons and took a slash at Kufn’s face. Only…

In such a short amount of time that Mawr couldn’t even register movement, Kufn had drawn his sword with his right hoof, blocked her talons, slid it further under her chin, and rested it by her eye. Mawr was frozen in place as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. Kufn’s back hoof continued to tap, a casual smile still on his face, and a hint of a hum to the upbeat song in his head.

“[A positive attitude says nothing about my work ethic, Ms Dethen Pain,]” he spoke casually, as if discussing a hobby with a friend. “[I like what I do, I really do, and I take it as seriously as I can. I have no issues with you as a person, but…]” he turned his head to look her in the eye, making a dark chill run down Mawr’s spine, “[try to attack me, show me up or anything of the sort again, and I’ll give you plenty of red to go with your black.]”

After a moment, Mawr took a breath. “[Cute trick, but your little bluff just cost you-]”

“[Oh, I don’t bluff, I can assure you of that,]” he blinked slowly, and tilted his head to see his scimitar pressing against her throat, how it curved up to her eye. “[Don’t think your chitin would save you, either. Riptide here’s torn through Dragon scales like cardboard.]” As if to prove his point, he gently pressed his blade further, and Mawr felt it slide through her chitin like a knife through butter on a hot summer’s day. After a tense moment, he retracted his sword and slid it back into its sheath. “[Something to think about!]” He grinned before walking away, shaking his rump to his mental tune. “[Ba de ya~! Never was a cloudy day~!”]

As he left, Mawr’s talons rushed to her throat. The sword had left razor thin slice through her chitin.

Author's Note

Oh, Kufn, what a silly and fun guy!

Who knows if I’ll switch these rules up later, but [] indicates Saddline and {} indicates Zebrican.

Lost in Translation

Cloud walked through the streets of Oregano, looking for anything resembling a hotel or inn. Maybe I can trade favours to stay a night or two, I’m sure there’s plenty a Unicorn could help with around here. In any case, I need to find some way to make some money if I’m going to stay here a while. As it stands, I can’t even afford food or drink. My top priority is definitely somewhere to sleep.

The buildings around him as he wandered were far more varied than any he had seen in Shirith or Ponyville. While some, as Maud had described, were clay and foliage, many were far stranger. Some seemed to be made of enormous fall logs, hollowed out and renovated into buildings. The log buildings, Cloud noted, were easy to distinguish from each other. There were very few shared traits between them, aside from being old logs.

Are they treated with something? Cloud wondered as he wandered. Surely they’d have rotted away over time…

Other houses looked more like the shanties built for the Ponyville evacuees, though a tad more professional. Rather than old pieces of trees like other building Cloud had seen, these were crafted from clear wooden planks and held together by shimmering nails. The inconsistencies didn’t stop there, as Cloud also saw cone-shaped huts very much like where he had awoken. He found it difficult to judge the age of those kinds of buildings.

Those plank buildings look cheap. But why would some architecture here be so crude while some so not? That town hall, clock tower, or whatever it was seemed so much more expensive, not to mention tacky and out of place. Cloud stopped walking, deep in thought. If there are such bad monsters in the Everfree Forest back in Equestria, what kinds of things could be here? If they had to build cheaply because of monster attacks, that wouldn’t explain why these all seem so randomly placed-

Cloud was snapped out of his thoughts as a large, male Zebra barged past him.

“{Watch it, magic freak...}” The Zebra growled.

“Eat shit and die,” Cloud casually replied, the hostility obvious to him regardless of the language gap. He tried to refocus, but simply couldn’t get his thoughts back on track. Dammit, some about the-

The Zebra shoved him, again breaking his concentration. For a moment, Cloud felt a spark of anger, but he quickly calmed himself by taking a deep breath. Can’t lose control again, can’t lose control again…

“{Freaks like you should stay away from here!}” The Zebra had walked in front of him, and was now shouting directly into his face.

“This day has been pretty great considering the average,” Cloud thought aloud now, trying to keep his cool. He avoided eye contact, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “He’s just some idiot, this isn’t worth getting upset over.”

“{Crying in your stupid pansy language you fucking fairy?}” The Zebra sneered. He leaned in, being sure to invade Cloud’s personal space.

“After everything I’ve been through, a little idiot like this shouldn’t-” Cloud was cut off as the Zebra tried to shove him again…

CRUNCH!

...Only for his leg to be pushed, grabbed, and yanked out of its socket.

The Zebra lay in the street, screaming and clutching at his shoulder. Cloud sighed, and rubbed his temple with a hoof.

“What do all you bullies and violent idiots, have against green?” Cloud asked. He ran his left hoof down his right foreleg. “My coat is a lovely colour.” His anger had burnt out with his attack, and all left on his face was a mixture of exasperation and boredom.

The Zebra grabbed a nearby sharp stick with his remaining foreleg and lunged for Cloud the best he could…

BANG!

...Only for his mind to be slapped by a disorientation spell.

Cloud’s expression hadn’t changed the slightest bit.

“[Are you done yet?]” He asked. Switching to Saddline is becoming easier and easier, and I can tell that my words aren’t Equestrian. This is so strange… “[Do you even know Saddline?]”

The Zebra groaned intelligibly, impossible for even those fluent in Zebrican to understand.

“Whatever.” Cloud walked around him to continue his search, when he noticed his scuffle had attracted quite a few onlookers, each looking worried, scared or angry. Why are they so freaked out? Nobody seemed to care when I was in this situation with that Gryphon in Ponyville.

“{You!}” A deep voice barked. “{Stop right there!}” The speaker was a male Zebra wearing a solid black helmet. Around his body was a light vest, almost a waistcoat in simplicity, dyed a deep blue. This person was an Enforcer, a person with a role somewhere between police officer and royal guard.

“Why didn’t anyone seem to care in Ponyville?” Cloud thought aloud. “It’s not like there’s anyone in Ponyville who was a racist.”

Applejack sneezed.

“You alright, AJ?” Asked Rainbow Dash.

Applejack grunted in reply.

The two were in the market district of Canterlot, ordering food provisions for the survivors of Ponyville. Not much was needed, as half of the evacuees had moved onto new lives either in Canterlot or somewhere else altogether. One hundred and forty eight remained. While those who remained had far more comfortable living situations, at least relative to their situation, it did not give them hope in things ever returning to the way they once were.

A few guards rushed past the duo, heading towards the perimeter of the city. At the sight of this, Applejack couldn’t help but smile.

“C’mon, Rainbow,” she called over her shoulder, “let’s go take a look at them edge defenses!” Without waiting for a reply, Applejack took off running after the guards.

“Again?” Rainbow grumbled. “AJ, you do this every time we’re in town…” With a few effortless flaps of her wings, Rainbow soon caught up with her.

It took little more than ten minutes for the two to reach the city’s edge. What they found, as they did every time they came, were the city guards working with construction teams to build defenses around the perimeter of the city. Tall steel walls tipped with blades, foundations of mighty ballistas, and the occasional tower were repeating as far as the two could see.

“I still can’t believe the Dragons declared war on Equestria,” said Rainbow. “It’s, like, so… unreal, y’know?”

Applejack didn’t answer, too busy taking in the sight with grin of malice.

“Equestria’s not had any kind of war for a thousand years! That’s almost a century!”

Non-Pony people falling at the power the Equestrian military would bring, oh how Applejack would relish it.

“You hear stories of wars, like with Legate Magnus, and all exciting and stuff, but thinking about a war actually happening is way scary.”

The world would know the strength of Equestrians, and at the heart of it would stand the Apple family.

“Those stories kinda help though, y’know? Legate Magnus beating all those Dragons at their own game, soaring through the skies!” Rainbow smiled. “It makes me all hopeful and stuff.”

Those with magic and wings would be among the dead. Applejack was determined for this to be so. She would take the chance, make use of the opening the Dragons were presenting.

The Dragons will make her happy in her own little way, I don’t doubt. She’ll want to play with all those little toys she’s created over the centuries. She’ll leave herself wide open, blind to the threat within plain sight. You’ll use her own against her, let her be pained knowing I used her beloved for her death.

I… Applejack blinked, and took a deep breath, a small semblance of panic seeping through the last cracks of freedom in her mind. I’m not… You’re not me! I won’t do it!

The voice laughed. If not you, then who? You’re too honest, little Pony. You let your hatred - your mind - be out in the open, ripe for the taking…

“...AJ, you’re shit at talking,” Rainbow sighed. “What do you think of all this?”

Applejack laughed, her voice not her own.

“I look forward to it.”

Author's Note

“Cloud experiences male bonding and AJ thinks happy thoughts.”

To Service Society

Pushing forward with his forelegs and raising his ass into the air, Cloud stretched out his body like a cat as he yawned. I did need a place to sleep… Technically I succeeded. He had spent the night in a cell after being arrested. No police officer that he had seen thus far had been able to speak Equestrian - nor Saddline - and Cloud had reached the point of apathy. Even as a somewhat muscular Zebra approached the cell - clad in helmet and jacket uniform, as expected - Cloud felt preemptively bored.

Cloud sighed. “When will any of you understand-?”

“I understand perfectly well, thank you very much,” the large Zebra cut him off, surprising Cloud with his very clear and refined speech.

“Oh good, that’s… good.” Cloud nodded in place of not knowing what to say. “Right, so getting right into things, what I did was totally self-defense. That asshole attacked me first, and was a dick, he has every reason to be in here as much as if not more than I do.”

The Zebra frowned, though looked more annoyed or disgruntled rather than angry. “First of all, he was arrested, ya dip. Second, mind your language. There’s no need for that.”

“He… was?” Cloud blinked. “Huh. Alright then.” There was a pause. “Also no to the second thing. How long until I can get out of here?”

After a moment of sighing through his nose, the Zebra began to pace across the front of the cell. “That depends on the punishment I decide on. This village is very independent, you see. I’m in charge of our policing system, the equivalent of a chief or sheriff, and I decided sitting in a small, confined space would hardly change the mindset of an individual, nor help our small society in any particular way.”

“I… guess I can see the logic in that,” said Cloud. “You’re really fully alone? Independent? From a government or whatever?” Yeah thanks, brain, that sentence worked. He mentally rolled his eyes at himself. “What’s with the pacing?”

“Yes, we are independent,” the pacing Zebra replied. “The pacing is because I don’t like standing still; my back acts up. Anyway, in regards to your punishment, I decided making nuisances like yourself, little offence intended, helping society directly is much more helpful.” The Zebra suppressed a little smile at the accidental pun.

Cloud frowned. “So if someone-?”

“Before you ask, no, I don’t treat severe crimes the same way,” he stopped pacing for a moment. “Respectable manners don’t equate to foolishness.” The pacing resumed. “With your indiscretion, I have an issue. You appear to be able to handle yourself in a combat sense, if witness accounts are to be believes, and I have job someone like that could help me with. The issue…” He trailed off.

He mentioned combat, so he probably has something dangerous in mind.

“Taking a shot in the dark, it’s more dangerous than my shitty little ‘crime’ makes you want to make me do?” Cloud asked.

“Yes,” the Zebra stopped for a moment and a shadow of a smile passed over his face, “that is my issue.” His smile dropped. “But please avoid such vulgar language.”

“Speaking of language-” badum-tish, “how come you’re so fluent in Equestrian?” Or whatever the hell the language is called...

“My mother was an Earth Pony from Equestria,” he replied simply. “She taught my sister and me Ponish as our first language.”

“Alright then.” Simple enough.

“Regardless of this digression, I have a job you could do as payment, but it is dangerous. If you decline my offer of it, I will not worsen your sentence. I will instead find simpler work to put you.”

...Sounds like she taught him the language of purple prose…

“The dangerous job in question,” he continued, “is to stop a dangerous monster. Our crops have been attacked on multiple occasions. Though I would prefer it not be killed, I recognise there may not be a choice when the task is at a head.”

Cloud’s mind rolled back to the Everfree Manticore. I sure couldn’t handle a monster back then, even with T- ...Even with a shielding spell active, but then again I’ve grown a lot since then. Both in magic, physically, and mentally. Though it often feels not so in the latter…

A few moments passed.

“I think I can handle it,” Cloud finally replied. “What kind of monster is it?”

“A Stone Golem,” said the never ending pacer, “slow, stupid and extraordinarily strong. It has been destroying our crops for some time now. I have been trying to assemble a small team to take it down, but aside from myself there are few people qualified to do so, let alone anyone who wants to do it. You seem like a good candidate, but what exactly would you be bringing to the table?”

That’s a pretty weird phrase the more I think about it.

“I have a little combat training from-” Cloud caught himself about to say too much. “F-from a very… enthusiastic teacher.” I probably shouldn’t announce to people Luna trained me. “They taught me a little in general defense and conditioned me to not do too badly with pain.” And yet I always go through so much of it... “I have a variety of magic, some generic stuff like the three Ts, but also-”

“Three Ts?” The pacing paused for but a moment, before continuing.

Cloud huffed impatiently in his mind. “Telekinesis, teleportation, and telepathy, though the last one’s a struggle. I also have shit like-”

“Language.”

“-Shit like, a couple of conjuration spells, a simple magic bolt spell, a disorientation spell-”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Would you stop-?” Cloud stopped himself before he worked himself into anger. He sighed to calm himself, and continued, “a… spell sort of that shocks people with electricity, a well rounded supportive ‘spell’ that allows me to fly-”

“That sounds very useful.”

Cloud’s tail flicked. “-and a couple of other simple things.”

“Yep, you’ll do nicely.” The Zebra did the unthinkable - he stopped pacing. He pulled a few linked keys from his pocket, unlocked the door, and extended a hoof to shake. “My name is Bravura. Let’s go monster hunting.”

Cloud smiled and shook his hoof. “Sounds like a plan.”

Getting Stoned

The jungle was deep with darkness and thick with trees so monstrously large that Cloud’s ego felt threatened. Outside of thinking about different ways to comically insult himself, Cloud found himself impressed; even without countless monsters and without the feeling of a looming curse, the jungle was far more intimidating than the Everfree.

Beside Cloud walked a police officer who had volunteered to help in stopping the golem, in whatever way that might be, and beside her on her left side walked the large Zebra who'd caused Cloud’s arrest in the first place. On hearing the punishment Cloud had accepted, the large Zebra, who went by the name Toestel, had insisted he join them. Despite not being around for this, nor knowing his name, Cloud suspected this was some attempt to prove his manliness or bravura. Bravura himself, the other large though considerably more toned Zebra, waking in front, leading the small group through the jungle.

“{How much longer do we walk through this fucking jungle?!}” Toestel snarled. His personality was sweet as Marmite.

“{Keep using language like that and I’ll worsen your punishment,}” Bravura’s spoke in a voice deep and threatening, whilst avoiding direct aggression. “{Though truth be told, this is worse than deserved, but I'm sure you understand what I mean. The journey to the creature’s cave will take another two and a half hours of travel, barring any interruptions.}”

“{We need to head more east soon, boss,}” the female officer spoke up. “{And, we shouldn't pass through any territories of anything particularly dangerous, so no worries on being interrupted.}”

“{Thank you, Ferret.}”

Cloud had run out of remarks about lacking context and was resolved to walking in silence. His scrap of cloth and stolen research had been left back at the police station in Oregano. He had doubted they would have any uses in fighting monsters, or at least not without reading them thoroughly beforehand.

“{Something else, boss,}” Ferret continued, “{when I was scouting out the area, I noticed a good clearing near the cave. Could use it to set up a quick base, make sure we're prepared and such.}”

“{Doubly thank you,}” Bravura smiled as he glanced back at her. The smile dropped considerably, though not totally, as he shifted his gaze to Cloud. “How much time will you need to prepare yourself once we arrive?”

“Uh… A couple of minutes to limber up?” Cloud suggested. “I usually don’t have ‘prep time’ in these things.” It sounds like a monster I can easily deal with using magic, so if I just boost myself and blast it nothing will likely happen. Stone isn’t affected by electricity too well, last I checked, and my magic has an electrical tinge. A boosted bolt could blast it to bits, or it could do nothing at all. If I think about this more- Well, at all… why do I never have prep time?

“What's our plan going into this?” Cloud asked. “I'm very open to suggestions.”

“{Ferret?}” Asked Bravura. “{One cave entrance?}”

“{That I could see, but I can't be sure without exploring the cave from inside,}” she replied.

“{Right.} We first set up a small base to prepare,” Bravura said to Cloud. “You said you can teleport things?”

Cloud nodded, and suppressed how impressed he was at Bravura’s kinesthetic sense - he'd been walking while looking back for some time now.

“Good, then Ferret will- Gah-!” Bravura had walked into a bush. He righted himself and continued walking before continuing. “Ehem… Ferret will scout out the cave more with you and I backing her up. We’ll follow a distance, with you ready to teleport her out of danger if needed. I'll provide combat assistance so you can focus on your spells, and Toestel will cover our flanks.”

“Sounds solid.” Cloud nodded as if to back up his words.

“{Not having context doesn't do me favours, boss,}” chimed Ferret.

Bravura laughed sheepishly before turning to her and explaining the same.

The group continued through the jungle without delay.

Within Canterlot castle, shadows burst towards one figure. With a few swings of a blade, twelve royal guards fell defeated.

“Your abilities are poor enough that I defeated you even without prep time,” grumbled Sight Watcher. He stood in his personal chambers, surrounded by his attackers. After defeating Cloud in his trial of combat, Princess Celestia had personally promoted him to Corporal, and leader of Squadron 20 of the royal guards. He, as well all other squadron leaders, took orders directly from the captain of the royal guards; Shining Armour.

“You need to be better than this,” Watcher continued, “Dragons have much keener senses than Ponies.” He sheathed his sword, a gold-pommeled gladius, and marched to the doorway. “Half rations for the rest of the week.”

“Sir,” whined one of the fallen soldiers, “you’re so unfair! We tried our best!”

“War is unfair,” he called back before the door slammed behind him.

Private Parts stood up. “Man, what an asshole.”

“Hey, Parts, you on cleaning today?” Asked Private Affair, as Private Server helped him up.

“Yeah… uh…” Spare Parts started walking towards the door. “I'll do it… after lunch… yeah…” Annoyed sighs followed him out of the room. To call Parts lazy would be a understatement, and the whole of Squadron 20 had come to know it.

After cleaning up their poor attempt at an ambush, the rest of the squadron returned to the barracks. The barracks had become home to many Privates in the squadron and, despite the harsh life their employment brought them, no soldier had any plans of ever quitting. The squadron’s common room had become homely, almost like a cross between a living room and bar. No alcohol was allowed of course, not that the rule stopped anyone who desired it, but the ‘bar’ was instead stocked with different vegetable and fruit juices.

After an hour or so from their return, the room had gone back to its usual atmosphere. The feeling of winding down after a day's work spread through the room, alongside the sound of chatter and pool balls clacking against each other.

Like a cleaning swab wiping a dirtied surface, the good vibes and relaxed atmosphere suddenly came to a halt. Watcher had marched into the common room, his head held high and haughty despite the many stink eyes rolling his way. He came to a stop at the centre of the room and in a strong, commanding voice he found fitting for a Corporal, he bellowed:

“Bring me Private Parts!”

His hard, stoic expression remained unchanged despite the snickers crawling about the room.

Parts sighed as he approached, stopping with a salute and half hearted, “Sir.”

“The mess hall is filthy, Private,” Watcher growled. “You were assigned to cleaning duty this week, correct?”

“Well, sir, it is called a mess hall-”

“Silence!” Watcher barked. “I am in no mood for jokes, Private! The purpose of assigning you to cleaning duty was to instil some discipline!”

“All due respect, sir, that's a pretty stupid idea.” Parts was promptly struck across the head. “I also don't see the logic in hitting your own soldiers.” He was struck a second time.

“As the leader of this squadron, I have free reign to train and discipline all of you as I please.” Watcher stood tall, savouring the chance to wield his authority.

“But you only got the job because your squadmate was killed in action,” Parts complained, his voice like a never-ending yawn. “Why would they promote you of all people?”

The events following Honeybee Wingbeat’s death - Cloud’s banishment and trial as a whole - had been kept secret among the politically powerful. Watcher had failed to realise that his promotion was a move the Captain had made in place of hush money and was by no means a reward. His love for his government coloured him greedy, and his new paycheque along with inflated pride had been put towards a self-congratulatory reward: A gold-pommeled gladius he had named ‘Justice’.

“Do not question your betters, Private!” Watcher barked again. “I earned this position for serving my Queen, which is more than could be said for a lowly Private like you.”

He barks so much, you think he'd tree-t us better… Parts thought, resisting the urge to smile at his awful, awful pun.

“When I order you to do something, I expect it to be done. Be certain to remember that.”

“Yes, sir,” Parts sighed. “I'll get to cleaning then.” He walked away lazily, not ever bothering a salute.

Watcher scowled. His gaze never left Parts until he was far and away.

As Bravura had predicted, the cave was now in their sight after two and a half hours of walking through the jungle. He let himself fall back slightly, allowing Ferret to take the lead.

“{Clearing’s just over here, boss,}” said Ferret, without turning to face him. With her guidance, they quickly reached the clearing to the left of the cave.

“{We didn't bring any gear, so this is hardly a camp,}” Bravura chuckled, “{but we can rest up for a while.}”

Cloud had given up listening when the others spoke in Zebrican, and had started tuning it out. He hoped anything important that was said would get translated for him. He sat down, letting his legs rest from the long walk. For once, his mind was quiet as he took in his surroundings.

The clearing was just that - fewer of the enormous trees were around, meaning there was enough light to see fairly well. Cloud’s stomach gurgled a little, but he paid it no mind. If the clearing was so close to the golem’s home, he suspected it could be where the creature relieved itself. This thought stayed in his mind as he glanced at Toestel mindlessly chewing on grass.

After a little time to stretch himself out and discuss his plan with Ferret, Bravura walked over and sat sat next to Cloud.

“Nervous?” Bravura asked. “To fight a creature like this is no joke.”

Cloud’s mind reflected on the Dragon that attacked Ponyville and then further back to Nightmare Moon.

“No,” Cloud finally replied. “No, I've faced worse.”

“Very well.” Bravura stood up. “Then there's no reason to further delay.”

As planned, Ferret lead the way into the cave with Cloud and Bravura following a short distance behind her. Behind the two of them followed Toestel, at around the same distance the two were from Ferret.

Ferret worked quickly and quietly, checking around corners of the ongoing tunnel as it twisted deeper into the ground. Cloud kept his horn charged but not lit, instead following the lead of Bravura through the darkness. Soon, the darkness became too much for even that, and Cloud found himself lighting his horn after all, though keeping the light very low. It did not spread far enough to be an immediate threat to Ferret’s stealth, but he found himself feeling tense all the same.

All of a sudden, the previously continuous rock walls opened out into a large cave. As before, Ferret checked the corners from the entryway, but followed the right wall rather than continuing forward into the deep darkness. She now relied on the feeling of the ground beneath her as guidance, focusing all but sight on what surrounded them. She stopped suddenly, and the others followed suit. Cloud dimmed his light. In front, Ferret could feel movement rumbling gently into her hooves. For a brief yet long moment, all was silent. Nobody dared draw breath. The rumbling faded to nothing, and Ferret slowly exhaled.

“UARAOHH!”

The monster exploded with movement ahead of them, and charged. Cloud abandoned his attempt to be stealthy and lit his horn to maximum.

The beast was horrific. Tall as the Ponyville library, the monster vaguely resembled a gorilla. Clumps of rock and mud made up its body, long streaks of moss hung from its chest, and two chunks of onyx buried in what could be called its head resembled a pair of rough, beastial eyes.

The monster roared again, throwing a colossal fist at Ferret as fast as a train. With no time to teleport Ferret, Cloud grabbed her in magic and yanked her towards himself. He wasn’t fast enough, and the boulder of a fist connected with her right foreleg, tearing it from her body. Ferret screamed, and Cloud found himself too frozen in shock to act. The golem had already reached them, and brought down both fists to crush them. Bravura grabbed the two of them, one with each hoof, and threw them aside. He jumped back soon after, but was thrown with the force of the shockwave as the beast’s fists smashed into the ground. Toestel was petrified with fear, not moving even as the best threw a boulder. Bravura rolled awkwardly and painfully, then kicked off toward Toestel and tackling him out of the way.

Turning to the source of the light, the golem charged again toward Cloud and the heavily bleeding Ferret. With more time to react and a grit set of teeth, Cloud teleported Ferret to Bravura and at the same time summoned a Support Circle under his feet. He flew upward above the monster, circled around and fired off a boosted magic bolt at its back. The bolt smashed against the beast, pushing it forward a little and bringing up dust but doing no visible damage.

“Over here, you ugly fuck!” Cloud yelled with his voice amplify spell, trying to keep its attention.

“{Get her out of here!}” Bravura barked to Toestel, who hastily obeyed as Bravura ran back towards the golem.

Again and again, the golem threw its fists at the flying Cloud and again and again Cloud dodged them in the air, out-maneuvering the fists on his Support Circle. He fired off a boosted bolt when he could, but still to little effect. Come on! Something’s gotta work! He tried a disorientation blast to no avail before swearing loudly and switching back to boosted bolts.

“Wet its legs!” Bravura ordered, as he ran towards the golem’s right leg.

“Got it!” Not wasting time checking where Bravura was, Cloud swooped past the beasts fist yet again and flew low. He dashed between its legs, blasting them with his basic water conjuration spell. He went again, avoiding the left fist, the right fist, and through the legs.

When only a metre away, Bravura launched himself at the golem’s right leg, landing a devastating punch. His hoof smashed into the soaked leg, but it wasn’t enough to do more than a reasonable dent. The golem stumbled, but stood tall with a roar and switched its attention to Bravura. Before it could do a thing, Cloud let loose a whirlwind of tiny, rapid fire magic bolts into the golem’s face which snapped back to him. It opened its mouth to roar, only to be waterboarded with another torrent of conjured water.

Using the distraction to its fullest, Bravura had built up another running start to again launch himself at the golem’s right leg. A second devastating punch landed in the dent of the first, and this time smashed through. The creature roared in agony as its leg crumbled into pieces, and fell onto its back. As Bravura leapt out of the way, a colossal fist flew to him in midair. For a split second, time seemed to stand still - the unavoidable fist coming right for him.

With everything he could muster, Cloud pushed his Support Circle to its limit. Magical energy visibly rose through his body, red light spilled from his eyes, and a matching red energy encircled his horn - a boosted magic surge. Cloud unleashed a magic bolt which overcharged into his red, electrical beam many times more powerful than the version in his bought with Nightmare. The beam slammed into the golem’s soaked head, obliterating it.

Its fist fell mid-punch, sparing Bravura who landed in a heap. Cloud’s Support Circle shattered beneath him, and he fell. His still slightly glowing horn was visibly smoking, and his body was limp. Surprisingly, he stayed conscious, and saw the ground coming faster and faster. A flash of black and white filled his vision, and he felt himself stop with minimal pain. Bravura had caught him.

Bravura set Cloud down on the ground and the two merely lay there, breathing heavily. Neither had the heart to speak.

75% Off, Ts and Cs Apply

Cloud, Bravura and Toestel had little to say on their journey back. Try as they did, none of the three were able to help Ferret. Bravura carried her body on his back.

Whether the trip back took longer because of their damaged spirits or because they lacked a guide showing them the way was uncertain, but they finally returned to Oregano after a four hour walk. Toestel left them with little more than a nod, and Bravura took Ferret’s body to her family. With nowhere else to go, Cloud went back to the police station to gather his few belongings.

It was late when he arrived. Late enough for the town to be hidden in the night. The only light to be seen came spilling out from every other building, and even those vanished one by one as the hour passed.

The police station was built differently to other buildings in Oregano. While other buildings, even the town hall, blended into the jungle by either design or fundamental building materials, the police station was built from neatly cut wooden planks. It wasn’t dissimilar to the shacks built in Canterlot, Cloud noticed. Though, far better constructed. Even while the wood showed signs of age, the structure was surprisingly solid and not a hint of wear could be seen.

“...Not like they replaced parts much either,” Cloud muttered to himself, as he looked up at the building. “Unless they somehow made new sections look old. ” He kept thinking about the wood as he came inside.

“Who are you?” Bravura asked from the shadows, making Cloud practically jump out of his skin.

“Son of a bitch!” Cloud cried.

“Language.” Bravura walked out of the shadowy corner of the room. He lazilly grabbed a potion from a desk as he passed it by, and shook it with casual vigor. The liquid in the bottle seemed to fizz up before becoming as bright as a lamp, though white and almost ghostly. Bravura tossed it onto a table before sitting at it and gesturing Cloud to sit too.

“Don’t just come out of nowhere like that...” Cloud grumbled as he joined him.

“I’ll ask again; who are you?” Bravura’s voice carried suspicion, sounding accusatory. Cloud did not fail to notice this.

“I’m a guy trying to get back to the closest thing I have to a home,” he answered flatly. “I don’t remember my past up until a while ago, I’m not sure exactly when thanks to my recent environments, but of all the potential places I could go to investigate myself, I instead got distracted by a friend. Before I knew it, I cared more about my relationship with this friend than who I am. I abandoned my motivation to search for my past after being banished because I found a connection to said friend, and once again in Shirith for pretty much the same reason. Somehow, I end up further away from said friend every time I try to take a step towards them and now I barely know where I am or what’s happening. Does that answer your question?” Throughout his rant, Cloud had become more and more aggravated until his words were spat from his mouth. Bravura watched him as a silence fell, his thoughts impossible to read.

“No, I wanted to know literally who you are, not a psychiatric analysis.” Bravura sighed and finally let the wear of the day show, at least a little. He stretched out his shoulders and relaxed his formerly rigid posture. “I just want to improve people’s lives here, that’s what I devoted myself to. Then today I led an innocent person to their death. My only solace is that I’ve potentially saved a lot of people by stopping the Golem, but…” He paused. “She volunteered, you know. Other than speeding up the tracking process, she had no need to come with us. I’m happy to put myself in danger any day if it means protecting the people here, you and the other guy were paying for your own mistakes, but Ferret-” He stopped himself and ran a hoof through his mane.

The silence was deafening.

“I wanted to thank you,” he finally continued. “For helping me fight the Golem, of course, but more for trying to save her. I…” His hoof rested on the table and he broke eye contact, his gaze drifting. “I froze up. I was prepared to face the Golem. It should have been a day like any other, but…” He closed his eyes.

Cloud felt an urge to jump in. “But I didn’t save her. I was only able to try because of you, and how you planned-” Bravura raised his hoof from the table, motioning for him to stop. He opened his eyes, with contact established again.

“...You need somewhere to stay, right?” He asked. “I know a place.” He stood and walked towards the exit, leaving the glowing potion on the table.

Gliding through the blue, Mawr’s ship made quick progress across the Crimson Sea. She paced on deck, too restless to sleep. Most of her mercenaries slept, the only other person she knew was awake being Kufn who was keeping watch elsewhere while shaking his rump to a song he sang under his breath.

“Swordsman, sorceress, thug, two pirates, two bandits,” Mawr muttered again and again, as if to put herself into a trance. “Swordsman, sorceress, thug, two pirates, two bandits… Bandits no good on the sea, pirates no good on the land, thug has no range, sorceress is too random, swordsman-” She stopped for a moment and tutted. “Swordsman’s an asshole.” Her pacing continued. “Star-damn boat… Stupid swordsman couldn’t pick up even a bow let alone cannons…” She stopped again and groaned loudly.

“[What’s wrong, cap’n?]”

Mawr turned to see one of the pirates, a brown Gryphon named Whet.

“[We’re tracking a dangerous group across water and not one of us prepared anything for naval combat,]” Mawr replied, her tone condescending. “[If we’re attacked by anyone, even if it’s not the assholes we’re tracking, we can’t do any-]”

“[Enemies sighted!]” Cried Powder, another Gryphon pirate, her feathers a somber orange.

“[Fantastic.]” Not wasting time by complaining, Mawr snapped into action. “[Location?]” She called out.

“[Starboard!]” Powder called back.

Mawr spun to starboard and transformed her eyes to those of a Dragon. The night became clear with their darksight, and there she saw it - a small boat flying a flag of an eye.

Shifting her gaze lower, Mawr spotted two Horses aboard the boat each armed with crossbows. She blinked her eyes back to those of a Changeling and tilted her head aside just as a crossbow bolt flew where her face had just been. The others had gathered, and not even Kufn had any sarcastic quips as they awaited her orders.

“[Sorceress, put up a smokescreen,]” Mawr spoke quickly and concisely, and every order was followed swiftly, “[swordsman, take the helm and apply evasive action, pirates, fly around their vision and attack their flanks, bandits, collect stray bolts, thug, make sure they’re not hit. I’m attacking from the front to keep their attention.]” Without a second spared, Mawr leapt from the ship and switched her Changeling wings for Pegasus wings for better maneuvering. She flew forward, the next bolt catching her leg slightly but doing little more than a harmless scratch thanks to her chitin. When a few metres from their ship she switched back to Changeling wings for smaller targets and hovered side to side, acting as an armoured bait. For a few precious seconds, this remained. Most bolts she avoided, though two struck her - one was stopped by her chitin but the other hit her right in the muzzle and chipped a fang. Mawr hissed at them from a mixture of rage and pain as her Gryphons boarded the ship from behind. Each grappled one of the Horses and Mawr moved forward to board from the front. The Horses were no match for the Gryphons and one was quickly knocked unconscious. The other Horse panicked, pulling a knife. Mawr quickly morphed her left hoof into the fist of a Minotaur and struck the back of his head, dropping him like a bag of potatoes.

“[Tie them up and bring them over,]” said Mawr. “[I’m gonna check on everyone else.]” All parts reverted to Changeling, she flew back to her boat. Thanks to her diversion and Kufn’s evasive action, the boat had sustained little damage. The few bolts that made it on deck had already been collected into a pile by the two Horse bandits and the Minotaur thug. Carry, the Zebra sorceress, had taken cover below deck.

“[That sigil matches what we’ve heard, boss,]” Kufn called from over his shoulder. “[Looks like we’ve been going the right way.]”

It would be worth taking that flag, Mawr thought to herself, tonguing her chipped fang. Easier to show people directly than describe it.

“[Delivery for ye, capt’n!]” Laughed Powder, dropping one of the Horses nearby. “[We looting the ship fully?]”

“[Yes,]” Mawr replied, ignoring the joke. “[Take their flag too.]” She raised her voice so everyone could hear her. “[Who here’s good with a crossbow?]”

“[Sorry, boss,]” Kufn grinned, “[swords are all I’m good with.]”

“[Stop smiling, it makes me uncomfortable.]”

Despite the death in Mawr’s eyes, Kufn couldn’t help but grin wider, before breaking into a laugh. Mawr rolled her eyes and turned away, knowing she couldn’t do anything about it.

“[Sorceress,]” she called, “[get these prisoners awake, we have interrogating to do.]”

A door swung open, revealing a dark room. Bravura walked inside, followed by Cloud.

“What is this place?” Cloud asked. Probably his home.

“This,” started Bravura, pausing for dramatic effect, “is my home.”

Called it.

Author's Note

“This,” started Bravura, pausing for dramatic effect, “is my home.”

A Fluid Picture

Though it had simply been a spur of the moment decision which had happened to pay off, Cloud could not ignore the effectiveness of using his Shock Circle elsewhere on his body. The usual method of using one, onto his hoof for a Thunder Punch, had been all he had ever considered. He'd only a brief window of time between discovering their existence and his banishment, and extraordinarily few chances since his banishment to practice magic, let alone experiment with them. The idea of alternate uses hadn't crossed his mind. Even their functionality in general was a subject all too alien. It was for this reason Cloud had returned to the clearing in the jungle. His injuries had very quickly healed; the advanced potion brewing in Oregano truly amazed him. Even the injury of Bravura’s, his tendons being completely destroyed, was fixed within twenty four hours.

Seems weird I haven’t seen this kind of stuff anywhere else, Cloud thought. I doubt it’s that secret, else they wouldn’t be so nonchalant about healing a foreigner-

Shining Armour knelt down before Princess Cadence, producing a ring from his pocket.

“I wanna know what love is,” he said, “I want you to show me.”

-not to mention twice. Cloud lightly tapped his teeth together as he thought, but continued doing otherwise nothing as he stood around like an asshole. Then again, have I really got anything to compare it to? My injuries weren’t severe yesterday, and though my injuries before that really were, I was too unconscious to know the passing of time. He snickered slightly. Yeah, too unconscious, as opposed to a nap where time is oh-so-clear. Anyway, I’m glad Maud was around to get me here. I was pretty much screwed on my own.Other times I’ve been recovering from serious injury I’ve also been unconscious. Since I haven’t been specifically seeing how effective other medical sciences are, it doesn’t matter how many places I’ve seen on this journey-

Princess Cadence was lost for words for the longest time, until finally taking a breath.

“You really believe I love you that much?” Cadence asked. Shining’s heart froze, until he noticed her smile. “Well don’t stop believing.”

Cloud blinked. I have a horrible feeling someone just made an awful joke. He shook his head to refocus his thoughts. None of this matters. I can’t continue back to Equestria by myself, I simply don’t have the travelling skills, let alone the geography skills to know where Equestria even is relative to here. I really wanna see Twilight, but I don’t know if she would even consider me a friend anymore. It’s Luna who wants me there anyway. The best decision in regards to returning to Equestria at this stage is to wait and see if Mawr finds me. If she does, I’ll go with her to Equestria, but if not then I need to eventually get back to my main goal: Find out who I am.

Cloud raised his right hoof and summoned a Shock Circle onto it. I figured out how to use this thing for use on my hoof in combat, but it was something I was able to do in an unrelated scenario. He winced slightly as he recalled the moment he became a murderer. ...Magical or not, if my body did this on a whim, then surely it’s something I had before I lost my memories? Sitting in the cool grass, he raised his left hoof and summoned a Support Circle of matching size, mirroring his right. Now that I mention it, this one I discovered in the same way. I was falling- with no help from that multicoloured asshole- and like a muscle reflex summoned a Support Circle. With Twilight helping me study it, we figured out a bunch of different functions - almost like it was designed. He looked back to the Shock Circle. If this was also summoned like muscle memory, surely it should be the same? He sat there a while longer, brow furrowed, until a small wave of fatigue wash through his mind. Both circles were dismissed as Cloud blinked heavily. While his magical abilities had grown greatly over his adventures, using his circles was still very taxing on his mind. That being so, his control as well as endurance had seemed to improved phenomenally.

“If only there was a smart-ass around who could explain, or at least theorise, why things have changed like this,” Cloud thought aloud. “Guess I’ll never know.”

“I don’t claim to be a ‘smart-ass’, as you put it, but I am quite skilled at theorising,” said Bravura, approaching from behind. Cloud turned to him quietly, waiting for him to continue. He noticed Bravura wore a pair of saddlebags upon his back, though they appeared loose. Cloud presumed they were empty, or close to it. Bravura had not continued to talk, not until he finally reached Cloud and sat nearby him. “I also have no idea what you were talking about by the way; you need to give me context if you want my thoughts.”

“Oh, right. Well…” Cloud gave a brief explanation on his circle magic, being sure to detail the difficulty he first experienced trying to learn how to use his Shock Circle. “I mean, obviously I was gonna improve with it after using them a bunch, what I don’t understand is why I’ve improved this much. Hell, I’ve been unconscious more than awake over Saddle Arabia, I didn’t have many chances to use it in the first place.” Even as he finished, Bravura did not hasten to reply. His eyes closed as he contemplated the information given to him, and it was like that he stayed for a full minute before responding.

“You say it was most difficult in Canterlot when you used it to knock out the thugs who cornered you in an alley?” Bravura suddenly asked, much to the surprise of Cloud who had been tapping his hoof impatiently.

“Th-?” Cloud caught himself. “U-uh, yeah! Those thugs who cornered me, and I just knocked out without any other harm, at all…” He nodded tersely. “I mean aside from the obvious- A-Anyway…! The pain in my head was terrible; worse than your punch yesterday, to say the least.”

“I find that hard to believe…”

“Oh yeah?Imagine the absolute worst pain you’ve ever felt in your entire life…”

Bravura’s gaze grew distant as he did as Cloud requested.

“...and multiply it by a kick to the nethers.”

Bravura’s face very suddenly paled. “Oh no…”

“But now,” Cloud paused and once again summoned a Shock Circle onto his right hoof, “I don’t struggle nearly as much as I used to.” He dismissed the circle as he finished speaking. After a shudder, Bravura returned to normal and colour returned to his face.

“To put things simply,” said Bravura, “your problem is that your approach to everything is too rigid.”

“Rigid?” Cloud frowned.

“Yesterday, during our little bout, your movements, demeanor, and responses to my actions were all far too rigid. You think too much about what you’re doing. Though this is obviously just my own opinion, I expect it also applies to your magic. You’ve become more accustomed to using your magic without thinking as much about it, leading to you not needing to try nearly as hard.”

“So it was because I was ‘rigid’, huh?” Cloud asked, almost mockingly. Being a proud idiot, he believed very little of Bravura was saying. “And how would I stop being so ‘rigid’? How could I have become less rigid without using either circle very much?”

“Look,” Bravura huffed, “I’m not an expert in magic, nor am I at all obligated to help you understand. If you’re going to be a jerk for no good reason, then you aren’t worth my time trying to help.” Bravura stood up and reached into his saddle bags, pulling out an envelope. “I’m going to be busy with business out of town today; I’ve received reports of attacks on nearby towns and settlements and I’m going to gather more information. From what I’ve heard, it sounds like a new gang of brigands have settled nearby. When you’re done here, go back to Oregano and don’t wander out of town.” He passed the envelope to Cloud.

“What’s this?” Cloud asked. The envelope lacked any writing, but was thick from its contents.

“A job. An important one too, so get it done.” With that, Bravura turned and left.

“Well, okay then.” Cloud looked down to the envelope before opening it with magic. Inside were three sheets of paper covered, double sided, in gorgeously neat writing Cloud presumed to be Bravura’s. Lengthy as it was, he quickly realised the job and his lips curled into a smile.

Border Guard Duty - Night Shift

Looks like he trusts me enough after all. Cloud’s smile faded somewhat as he realised why Bravura had left in such a huff. Dammit I’m an asshole. He replaced the papers into the envelope and set it aside before shifting his position so he could lie on his front in a very cat-like manner. His eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. I need to clear my mind… and loosen up my body…

Cloud continued to take deep breaths; slowly in through the nose, and slowly again out through the mouth. His thoughts, though usually loud and constant, began to slow down until finally his mind was silent. He took in the world around him - the gentle breeze rustling the grass, the warm rays of sun shining onto his back, the soft grass beneath him, the distant smell of tropical flowers… he allowed his senses to observe them all without interruption. For the first time since his memories’ end, Cloud’s body had entered a state of serenity. Within this state of calm darkness, colours began to bleed into his sight. Mixes of greens, browns, blues and reds, all mixing like different paints within the same container. The colours began swirling, sharpening - the browns becoming long and tall, the blues heightening, the green falling and spreading like water, the reds shrinking and dotting around. Cloud could see the jungle before him. His sight was imperfect, yet real. The jungle was alive all around him. He was standing, it seemed, though he had never stood up. His mind remained clear, taking in the sights before him.

He felt a presence.

Cloud turned, slowly, carefully, not letting the colours blend back together. Behind him lay a Unicorn, turquoise green with a short blue mane. Beside him lay an envelope. A shiver ran down Cloud’s spine, and he saw the Unicorn fidget in much the same way. His mind was no longer focused. His pulse quickened, and shadows of thoughts whispered in the corners of his mind. Cloud opened his eyes.

A ghostly figure stood before him.

Night Duty

A ghostly figure stood before Cloud.

Naturally, as an intellectual, Cloud reacted in an observational and scientific manner as he had learnt while studying with Twilight - screaming, cursing, and falling over.

The figure was a dark purple Unicorn with shining lights in place of eyes. Its mane and tail were short, and had no mouth or cutie mark Cloud could see. After moments of no movement from either party, Cloud suddenly realised the ghostly figure closely resembled himself. Another detail he realised, though not nearly as strange, was its gaze had not seemed to follow him when he had jumped back.

After a few seconds which felt like hours, Cloud’s heart began to calm down and stop trying to explode out of his chest. He felt his body loosen up, and finally he blinked. What the crap?! Cloud closed his eyes and his literal vision returned to the odd mental vision he’d been having, the colours still blending and blurring - and he could once again see himself, though now tripped and eyes closed. Uncharacteristically to his usual dumbass self, it took very little time for Cloud to realise what was happening. He opened his eyes again and look at the hooves of the shade. A magic circle of an even deeper purple lay beneath it.

It was a clear, cool morning in the training yard, and Squadron 20 were hard at work… cleaning. Rather than allow his Privates to train for the coming war, Watcher instead forced them to clear the yard of weapons, training dummies and safety mats used by other squadrons the night before. Being an asshole, he of course did not help in the slightest, or even allow them to eat breakfast before performing such a menial task. Only after cleaning the yard were they allowed to go to the mess hall… to clean the mess of the morning diners; both the breakfast of the early risen squadrons such as themselves as well as the midnight lunches of the strange, dark creatures working in the Lunar Guard. Only then were they allowed to eat.

After their twelve o’clock breakfast, a single one of the squadron would remain to clean their newly made mess while the rest could finally begin their training. The unlucky enough squadmate was chosen the first day of each week by the rest of the squadron, and would remain the chosen until the first day of the next week. This, of course, as per Watcher’s orders. Despite none of Squadron 20 finding Watcher the slightest bit tolerable, their loyalty to the kingdom kept them from leaving. In an effort of spite, they had drawn straws to decide the chosen rather than vote amongst themselves. The chosen of this week had been Spare Parts, to the misfortune of the rest of the squadron.

When Spare Parts finally found himself in the training yard, for its intended purposes, the rest of Squadron 20 were finishing for the day.

“Private Parts!” Bellowed Watcher.

“What about them?” Asked Private Browsing, earning a few snickers. Watcher ignored him and the other nuts, too focused on Parts to care.

“When I tell you to be finished with training by seventeen hundred hours,” Watcher growled, “I expect you to be here before seventeen hundred hours!”

“Sorry to have stood you up, babe,” Parts replied with a wink. His eye remained closed as it swelled from Watcher’s punch. “Pretty sure this has gotta be breaking some kind of rule, sir.”

“Quiet!” Watcher barked. “My authority is far more important than any of your silly, naive ‘opinions’!” The entirety of Squadron 20 rolled their eyes. “That’s it! None of you eat tonight!” Watcher stormed off, his persona of a Corporal doing nothing to hide his prepubescent attitude.

“C’mon, guys,” called Private Estate after Watcher was finally out of earshot, “let’s clear things up.” The eleven other Privates half-heartedly grunted in response before clearing things away. After quickly sorting out his own equipment, Grand Estate made his way over to Spare Parts. “Pins, we talked about this.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Parts yawned. “I needed a nap.”

“You need to wake up and realise you’re ruining things for everyone else,” said Estate frowning. He drew his practice sword from its sheath, then tossed it into the air and caught it by its blade before offering it to Parts. “Get warmed up while I check on the others, I’ll spar with you after.”

“Alrighty.” Parts took the sword from him and started lazily stretching, loosening up his joints.

Estate briefly made his way to each of his squadmates, making sure they were both uninjured from training as well as okay to clear away their equipment. All were fine until Quiet Affair, who was visibly agitated.

“Y’alright, man?” Estate asked. “Y’know, aside from Watcher being his usual self.”

“Pins is getting under my goddamn nerves,” Affair muttered, glaring at Parts who was slashing his sword at the air. Affair’s eyes went back to Estate. “This is already bullshit enough, but that bastard keeps making it worse for everyone else.”

“I know, I’m gonna have a word with him while we train.”

Affair grunted.

Estate paused, thinking of how he could improve Affair’s mood. “How’s the family?”

The question caught him off-guard, but sure enough Affair began smiling gently.

Estate smiled back. “That good, huh?”

“Yeah…” His smile widened slightly. “Blossom sent me the news yesterday; she’s pregnant!”

“Oh!” Estate broke into a full grin. “Congratulations, man!” He patted Affair on the back. “Just in time for the wedding!”

“Uh, yeah, but…” Affair’s smile faltered some. “We’ve decided to push back the wedding. With the war, and all.”

“Ah…”

“I can’t exactly ask for time off to have it sooner, right?” Affair sighed. “Shit, I don’t want to think about this right now.” He hastily tossed the rest of his gear into the storage closet. “Later, man, I need a stiff drink…” Without so much as a glance to Estate, Affair walked to the door and disappeared from sight. The others soon finished up themselves and followed in his wake.

Estate walked back over to Parts, who was lazily swinging around a practice sword.

“Pins, why do you keep doing this to everyone?” Estate asked bluntly, unsheathing his own practice sword. “You’re making our lives even worse of the hell it already is from our ass of a boss.”

Parts yawned, ignoring the question.

“Yeah, fuck you too,” said Estate. “Alright, you ready for training?”

The Zebrican sky was a deep, inky blue. The tops of the jungle trees were silhouetted against it, but anything lower was shrouded in the darkness. The only light around the guard tower on the edge of town came from a lamp potion set on a table, and the ground below could hardly be seen. That combined with the wind rustling the grass made Cloud feel like he was back at sea, bobbing around in a box, despite hardly being conscious during his offshore escapade.

Though he glanced over the balcony now and again, Cloud’s focus was far from the job at hand. Since earlier in the day, he had been continuously recreating the new magic circle he had discovered. Hours of practice had certainly expedited the process, and Cloud could summon the ghostly image of himself in a short fifteen seconds - so long as he was able to clear his mind. Given the appearance of the apparition, Cloud had dubbed his newest addition of magic he didn’t understand the Shade Circle.

Cloud’s trusty notebook for magical studies was still in the possession of Twilight so any testing Cloud could do, which was already limited by being alone and needing to work night duty, would be testing he couldn’t make note of. He knew that trying to remember his discoveries, tests, and ideas around the Shade Circle without taking notes would be a foolish task. With no money to buy a new notebook, and no Bravura to ask for one, Cloud had made the questionable decision to collect large leaves fallen from the enormous trees nearby and tie them together by their stems, creating a very crude notebook of nature. Rather than try to use a tiny laser as he had in the town hall out of fear of destroying the leaf paper, he instead tried a focused, low-power version of his conjure electricity spell to create small burn marks in place of ink, using electricity rather than fire as to not set it ablaze. With a notebook handy, Cloud could begin some testing.

The first major detail Cloud realised was that he could not control his real body and his shade simultaneously. While his eyes were open, his shade was but a ghostly figure; but while his eyes were closed, he could freely control the shade as if it were his own body. No matter how he moved, however, the Shade Circle itself would always remain beneath him in a manner very similar to the Support Circle.

The second major detail Cloud had discovered was that his shade could only work up to a certain range from his body. It passed through solid objects like a ghost, and could even fly through the air or fall through the floor if he so wished, but the further away from his body the shade moved, the more distorted its senses became. After going far enough, the Shade Circle would automatically dismiss, destroying the shade along with it. Though he couldn’t be sure on the exact numerical distance, Cloud noticed the range was around the same as the distance he could move his Support Circle too. While the range of his Support Circle had been something he and Twilight had found the exact value of, the results of their testing were all within his notebook - not his mind.

The third and final major detail Cloud had discovered was that his shade was able to use extremely limited amounts of magic - though ‘limited’ was putting it lightly. His magic bolts, which would usually be a blast of magical energy, were reduced to little more than glorified stones being thrown. There was a greater weakness however: As he used magic as a shade, the shade itself began to deteriorate until it was eventually destroyed. Like with distance, the Shade Circle would be dismissed. The shade was made of a magical substance, and parts of it Cloud would have to sacrifice to fuel his magic.

“Jeez, I really didn’t figure out too much for an entire day,” Cloud thought aloud, as he flipped through his leaf notebook. “Though notes were harder to take than usual. I’ll use that excuse if I’m asked.” He nodded. “I sure do love thinking out loud.” He paused. “Anyway…” I should take this opportunity to test out the practical application of theShade Circle.

Cloud sat in the middle of the room and closed his eyes. He focused - while trying not to be rigid - and slowly summoned a Shade Circle in front of himself. After fifteen seconds of the circle slowly spinning into existence, his ever-ghostly shade solidified from dark mist. When his vision finally settled, he could see the room clearly. Cloud tried to open his mouth to continue thinking aloud, only to realise that he couldn’t. He looked around for a mirror of some sort, and settled on using the glass of the lamp potion to look at himself. His shade had no mouth. Huh. Well, whatever. After opening his eyes for a moment to make note of his realisation, Cloud switched back into his shade and phased through a wall to get outside. He could see the dark expanses of jungle before him, hear the distant calls of the tropical wildlife, feel the cool wind on his body… all from the comfort of the guard tower. Cloud smiled. Then he remembered he didn’t have a mouth. What the hell do I look like right now? I should check my reflection aga-

A scream halted Cloud’s train of thought. It was nearby, near enough that he could tell the direction. He flew north, away from the east-facing tower. Soon enough, he saw them through the darkness; a Horse and a Gryphon shrouded in cloaks, the latter lugging a squirming sack over their shoulder.

“[...It doesn’t matter!]” The Gryphon barked in a harsh whisper. “[The workforce takes priority, we can return another time! And speak in Saddline, you fool! We could be overheard!]”

“[Fine!]” The Horse whisper-shouted back. “[But the master will be displeased! He requires our offering, and if you- What the fuck?!]” Cloud’s shade had landed next to them. He wasted no time in investigating, shoving his head toward the sack and phasing through it. Inside the sack was a bound and injured Zebra child, struggling against his bonds and sobbing. His cries were muffled by the rag shoved into his mouth. Fresh claw marks were scraped across his neck, and his left eye was swollen and black. The Gryphon leapt back, taking the sack with him, forcing Cloud’s head back into the open.

“[Fucking kill it, whatever it is!]” Cried the Gryphon. The Horse, though shocked, nodded and pulled a out a short glaive from his cloak. The glaive was overly extravagant, looking almost ceremonial - both its handle and blade were decorated with gold. The Horse slashed at Cloud, who quickly moved back to avoid it. He charged his horn, sacrificing his shade’stail for fuel, and blasted a small, purple magic bolt at him. The Horse yelped and held up his up glaive instinctively. The bolt collided with the handle of the glaive and popped like a bubble in an instant. Cloud stopped for a moment, confused, but quickly shook it off and fired another bolt, this time sacrificing his mane. The Horse adjusted the position of the glaive to defend again, and once again the bolt popped. This time the Horse was ready for the lull between attacks, leaping forward and slashing Cloud through the chest. Cloud’s eyes went wide, and the shade exploded back into mist, the Shade Circle shattering.

“[We need to move, now,]” the Gryphon ordered. The Horse nodded quickly and the two scurried off into the jungle.

“[What was that thing?!]” The Horse asked, still panicked.

“[It doesn’t matter right now, all that matters is that we make it back.]” As he said this, the Gryphon tripped up slightly thanks to the young Zebra struggling again. Gritting his teeth, the Gryphon swung the sack from around his shoulder and slammed it into a tree. The sack stopped moving. “[Piece of shit…]”

For the next few minutes, the two moved in silence. The terrain was rough, but each were able to keep moving without being held back. Finally, they came upon a hill overlooking a river.

“[I’m going to fly back to the camp with the cargo,]” the Gryphon shrugged his shoulder to emphasise the sack, “[you head back on foot so we can-]” At that moment, the Gryphon was cut off by Cloud, who had been flying after them at maximum speed on a Support Circle, unloading a flying thirty-miles-an-hour punch into his jaw. As the Gryphon and the sack went sprawling, the Horse pulled out his glaive and thrusted it toward Cloud. Cloud spun towards him, still atop his Support Circle, bashed the glaive to the side, grabbed it by the handle just beneath the blade, and yanked it out of the Horse’s grasp. He spun again on the Support Circle, and slashed the Horse across the chest. Pieces of the Horse’s cloak flew apart, reduced to bloody rags, as he fell to the ground. The glaive was tossed aside.

Cloud turned back to the Gryphon just in time to see him grab the sack and retreat into the sky. Cloud began flying after him, but suddenly screamed in pain as the Horse stabbed into the back of his hind leg. Suddenly, Cloud fell to the ground - the glaive had passed through his Support Circle and the Support Circle shattered as it did so. The Horse thrusted the glaive once more, but Cloud rolled to his side and only received a minor cut. Cloud slapped the Horse’s brain with a disorientation spell, then leapt to his feet and unleashed a Thunder Punch into his face. The Horse dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Biting his lip as he endured the pain in his hind leg, Cloud summoned another Support Circle and took to the skies. The sky was dark, but he could make out the black silhouette of the Gryphon against the inky blue. Cloud flew after him as fast as he could, not wanting to risk hitting the Zebra child with magic, and steadily began to catch up. The Gryphon glanced over his shoulder and swore loudly. He pulled out a miniature crossbow from his cloak, turned around mid-flight, and fired at Cloud. Unable to see the bolt in the dark, Cloud used a fire conjuration spell to spit a torrent of flames ahead of him. The fire stopped the momentum of the bolt, which fell out of the sky.

An idea struck Cloud, and he began teleporting a short distance every few seconds to speed up his approach. The Gryphon switched holding the sack from his talons to his mouth as he struggled to reload his crossbow. He looked up, finally reloaded, all too late as Cloud blasted his face with a magic bolt at point-blank range. The Gryphon fell, his face smouldering from the blast. Cloud caught the sack with a telekinesis spell as the Gryphon vanished beneath the canopy of trees, until there was a THUD as he crashed into the ground.

Breathing heavily, Cloud slowly lowered himself to the ground. He landed, and dismissed his Support Circle. He winced, trying to avoid putting weight onto his bleeding hind leg, as he opened the sack. The Zebra child was unconscious, but visibly breathing. Cloud took the boy out of the sack, and tossed the sack aside. He summoned a small Support Circle and lay the boy down onto it. He willed the Support Circle to follow him, then limped over to where the Gryphon lay. Lighting up his horn, he looked over the Gryphon’s body.

The Gryphon was a mess: He had fallen onto a bed of rocks, and if his glassy eyes or lack of breathing didn’t make it clear, the quickly pooling blood did - he was dead. Though a pit formed in his gut, Cloud felt little remorse. As his eyes went over the body, Cloud noticed the back of the cloak was emblazoned with a symbol… a symbol he found all too familiar.

Author's Note

~~Take a drink every time you see the word 'shade'-~~

Introducing the Shade Circle, an idea from Darkest Dreams! If you've got your own idea for a circle you'd like to see in the story, let me know and I just might use it!
A couple of things, if I do use your idea, I'll credit you (like above) in the first chapter it's used. I may take the basic form of your idea but change it in ways I think better suit the story, in which case I will still credit you. Also, bare in mind that there will only be a limited amount of circles in total. At a certain point, requests will be closed.

Mercs With Quirks

The western shoreline was in sight for the ship of mercenaries, lit up by the shining moon over the ocean. With information tortured of the ship’s recent passengers, Mawr was finally beginning to understand the abundance of the eye shaped sigils as well as the true danger her mission objective had found himself in. She stood at the bow of the ship, as if posing for a picture that would never be drawn. Though she looked deep in thought, her mind was clear as she watched the ever-approaching shore creep closer and closer. The peace in her mind became quickly discordant as her least favourite crewmate suddenly called out to her.

“[Are you sure we don’t need these anymore?]” Kufn called. He was to the starboard side of the ship, preparing to throw the now lifeless bodies of their captives from the side of a boat. “[I know a guy not too far from here who’ll give a pretty penny for bodies, off in Marjoram.]”

Mawr turned to him slowly, an eyebrow raised and a disgusted look on her face.

“[Not a fetishist, believe it or not,]” Kufn continued, “[not a cannibal either. My older body-guy, Munsh, was a different story, on both accounts, but Neem’s a good guy. More importantly, pays better too.]”

Mawr blinked.

“[He’s usually pretty awkward to deal with, most postal services aren’t the fondest of cadavers, but he pays top papers for young healthy bodies.]” He nodded to himself. “[I mean, I don’t know why he wants them, and I suppose he’s never actually confirmed he’s not, ah, y’know, but he- well, he pays well.]”

Mawr slowly turned back to face the shore again, trying to bleach her brain from the colourful imagery.

“[That a no?]” Kufn asked. “[If we get these guys on ice, they’ll be fresh enough for a good while.]” He received no answer. “[Can I at least take their legs? Not worth a whole lot, but better than being wasteful.]” There was a short silence filled only by sounds of the ocean. “[I’m gonna take their legs.]”

“[For sake of stars!]” Mawr whipped around to him at just the wrong moment. Had it not been masked by chitin, Mawr’s face would be as green as Cloud’s.

“[There we go…]” Kufn wiped Riptide off on a spare torso before sheathing it. “[Oh wait, I didn’t bring any saddle bags, did I?]” He laughed heartily to himself. “[No way to take them anyway!]” Finally, the bodies were dumped over the side of the boat. “[That’s that, then!]” He laughed once again before walking back towards the cabin. “[I’m going to grab some lunch before we hit land-]” He paused as he heard retching from behind him. “[...And from the sound of it, I’d recommend you do the same!]”

Mawr’s eyes shot him daggers, her body doubled over at the edge of the ship. I hate that damn swordsman…!

After walking back to Oregano, Cloud had first taken the injured boy to the police station. He had hoped that Bravura had magically returned from his trip during his misadventure in the forest, but to no avail. Cloud considered staying at the station to wait, but the drastically decreasing blood in his body presented a reasonable argument against the idea.

“I’m so light headed, but I’m not even doing the magic,” Cloud slurred, giggling to himself. He stood motionless for a while, a dumb smile across his glazed face as blood continued to pour from his leg. Healing hut... “The healer one is good.” Cloud blinked twice to agree with himself.

Cloud stumbled towards the door, tripping over himself but managing to stay on his hooves. The small part of his brain that could think clearly was focused on maintaining the Support Circle carrying the child, leaving only his idiocy to guide him to safety. Unfortunately for Cloud, his idiocy had no sense of direction - especially down thirty percent of his body’s blood total. Through the dark streets he stumbled, leaving a trail of red in his wake, until he found himself too dizzy to see straight. This is… issue… Sensing the issue becoming dire, Cloud dismissed his Support Circle. The child, still unconscious slumped onto the floor. Okay, brain, maximum effort time, how in the hell do I not die here?Alright… Okay… No idea where that healing place was… Uh… His legs gave out beneath him, and he slumped onto the floor. Voice amplify spell and shout? No, no energy left to shout, wouldn’t be speaking a language anyone here knows… His vision began to blur and a numbness began to spread through him. This is a pretty hopeless situation I’ve found myself in. So much for plan B...Plan B…? Wait… Vague memories flashed before his eyes. The citizens of Ponyville in panic; his ‘plan B’ for Dragon taming having failed horribly. It was immediately afterwards he had heard it…

Cloud focused the last coherent part of his mind. Bravura is too far, but there’s someone else I know I can target… Cloud summoned a Support Circle underneath himself and boosted himself as much as he could. Though his horn would normally be erupting with power, as it was in his current state it was barely any brighter than average. He closed his eyes, sacrificing his sense of sight for the slightest extra amount of focus he could gain. You… With a certain person in mind and his magic as charged as he could make it, Cloud cast a telepathy spell with a message riding on emotion rather than words before blacking out:

Help me.

As he opened his eyes, Cloud quickly recognised the room he was in. A welcome change. He was back inside the medical hut, curled up in the hammock, and once again there was nobody else to be seen.

Cloud rolled out of the hammock and made a puddle with a water conjuration spell. This place needs mirrors… He adjusted so he could see the state of his left hind leg. A thin scar lay across it, curved up at both ends. Cloud sighed. Another one for the collection…

As Cloud spent a moment wondering how long his right legs would remain without scars, Bravura briskly marched into the room. He was wearing thick saddlebags packed tight, and wearing his police helmet. Cloud looked up, more surprised than anything else.

“Bravura…” said Cloud. “What happened to-?”

“The child is safe,” Bravura interrupted.

“There were these two guys and-”

“You defeated them, and saved the child, yes.”

“I made it back to town but-”

“You had lost too much blood, I know; you walked for two miles with a gaping stab wound.”

“I couldn’t find the medical hut so I-”

“Contacted Toestel with magic, I’ve already been informed.”

There was a short silence.

“Okay, at this point I feel like you should be the one explaining,” Cloud grumbled.

“I went to a village named Marjoram to investigate the recent attacks on the nearby towns, as you know,” Bravura began. “I discovered the suspects are no ordinary brigands, but rather members of a…” He trailed off, trying to find the right word. Finally, he sighed. “There’s no other name for them I suppose: The supposed brigands are members of a cult.”

“A… cult?” Cloud frowned. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am indeed, though I’m sure you now understand my hesitation. From what I gathered, the cult began in Saddle Arabia some months ago, formed around a Horse who they seem to think is a god. There are rumors that they’re behind the assassination of a high notoriety figure in Shirith; a member of the Masterless crime family.”

Cloud scratched his chin. That name sounds vaguely familiar…

“Their influence is spread far and wide, though based on rumors it seems the inner circles of the cult are continuously on the move. I lack the information to know their goals, but from what you’ve told me along with recent events, it looks like they’ve begun taking action in Zebrica. I would wager they’re kidnapping children for a slave workforce, else to sell them, either way meaning their current base of operations is relatively nearby. From towns attacked as well as the direction the two you fought were headed, I’ve triangulated their most likely location of their base.” Finally stopping for a breath, Bravura reached into his saddlebags, pulled out a teal potion and tossed it to Cloud, who caught it with magic. “Drink that revitalising potion, we’re leaving in five minutes.”

“Wait, what?” Asked Cloud. “Where? And why?”

“I have their location, I have them dead for rights to kidnapping and attempted murder, I have motive to protect this village.” Bravura turned towards the door. “I’m going now, with or without you, but I’d assumed you were too involved to want to sit this out.”

After a moment of comprehension, Cloud smirked as his brow furrowed. “You’re goddamn right.” He popped the lid of the potion and downed its contents. “Let’s teach those bastards a lesson.”

The mercs had long since reached land, and were deep into the jungle. The two Diamond Dog bandits walked in the lead, clearing away intrusive flora, as the others followed behind. In the very back were the two Gryphon pirates, the least useful on land.

“[Hey, sorceress,]” barked Mawr.

“[My name’s Carry but okay-]”

“[Any specialty with jungle travel as a Zebra?]”

“[Fuck you too, you racist bitch…]”

Before Mawr could retort or be an even bigger racist, the group suddenly found themselves in a very large clearing. In the distance were tents and rising smoke.

“[Stop.]” Mawr's voice was low, yet clear and commanding. “[Fall back, lose visibility.]” All did as she ordered. “[Hold position, I'm scouting ahead.]” With a flash of fire, she became a fruit fly. She flew upwards, higher than reasonable swatting distance, and headed forward into the camp. As she disappeared from their sight, Kufn turned to the two Diamond Dogs, Rock and Roll. The two tensed up, their paws tightening around the hilts of their axes. With an intense look in his eye, Kufn reached into his scarf… and pulled out a deck of cards.

“[You guys’ down for Uno?]”

Mawr stayed high, being careful not to be seen. She perched on the top of a tent, and looked out into the camp before her. What the hell…?

“[Red seven!]” Cheered Kufn. He looked over to Aima and Carry, a cheery smile on his face. “[You two want in?]”

Carry smile and walked over to their little circle… before grabbing Roll by the scalp and tearing his throat out with a knife.

“[What the fuck are you d-?!]” Rock was cut off as Aima buried another knife into his head. Kufn leapt to his hooves, drawing his sword, and the two pirates quickly did the same.

“[State your reason or die, now!]” Kufn demanded. All joy was gone from his face, and all cheeriness gone from his voice. Aima replied by throwing a knife, which Kufn easily deflected. “[So be it! You two,]” he flicked his head towards the pirates, “[you're on the sorceress!]”

Both replied with a simultaneous “[Aye!]”

Kufn dashed towards Aima, deflecting a few more knives along the way, and took a slash with his scimitar. Aima tried to grab the blade, but Kufn adjusted his angle and lopped off three of the behemoth’s fingers. As Aima cried out in pain, Kufn quickly switched the direction of his sword towards the Minotaur’s throat - but was interrupted by a potion smashing against his head. Kufn stumbled; glass pierced his face and the potion itself had splattered across his head. It quickly began eating away at his flesh like an acid. Before he could even scream, a colossal fist crashed down onto his head and he fell. Thinking fast, Kufn grabbed a clump of mud and rubbed it onto the potion. His sword out of his grasp, he grabbed whatever sharp object was nearby, one of Aima’s knives, and sheared off the now viscous acid.

A glance to Carry gave him all Kufn needed to know; Whet and Powder lay dead at her hooves. A shadow clued him in, and he rolled to dodge a stamp from Aima. Another potion bottle shattered nearby and a thick, purple smoke surrounded him. The smoke filled his lungs, and he promptly lost consciousness. Aima grabbed him by the scarf and lifted him into the air. He pulled out a knife with his uninjured hand and prepared to slash Kufn's throat.

“[Wait,]” a voice commanded from the shadows, “[this one may be useful.]”

Aima sheathed his knife, but settled for punching Kufn in the head. Carry gathered the weapons lying on the ground, Riptide among them.

“[Take them into the camp,]” the voice continued, “[I'll deal with the insect myself.]”

Mawr flew up from the tent and back towards the jungle. This place is way too dangerous for a direct assault. I need to find that asshole and get us both the hell away from here. Transforming back into her usual self, she prepared to bark orders at the company, only…

“[Your mercenaries have fallen,]” announced a voice from behind her, “[as you can see.]” Mawr whipped around to the voice. It belonged to a Horse, brown in both body and mane.

“[Who are you?]” Asked Mawr, lighting up her horn. “[And where are your captives?]”

The Horse laughed, his voice haughty yet strong. “[So you're the one chasing Cloud Calculation?]” His voice carried a sophisticated tone, though the way he carried himself was as if he was looking down on her. Mawr's mind, however, was elsewhere. No sign of the swordsman, thug, or sorceress, might've escaped...

“[Ten seconds to answer me, fuckstick, then I'm tearing your heart out and stealing your identity!]” Mawr's teeth clenched. As a Changeling, she could sense the emotional energy of a person like a smell in the air, but she sensed nothing but pride from the Horse before her.

“[You want to know where I keep my captives?]” The Horse laughed; a colder, more dangerous laugh than Kufn’s. “[I'll show you.]” He raised a hoof, pointing its base towards her. “[As for my name…]” A yellow beam of magic blasted from his hoof, crashing into Mawr and burning the flesh beneath her chitin.

“[I am Ra.]”

Author's Note

Another one for the collection…

So, in the picture 'Pony With No Name', Cloud has a scar on his right foreleg. That's super a mistake.

Ghosts and Busting

True to his word, Bravura was able to triangulate the location of the cult’s base of operations - during their journey towards his initial estimation. They had been walking as he worked to pinpoint their base but, when Bravura had finished said work, Cloud had summoned a sizable Support Circle and was flying them there at a comfortable pace. Thanks to being able to fly across the treetops without issue, they travelled far more hastily than if they had travelled on hoof. Even still, the journey took around three hours, and dawn graced them upon their arrival.

The camp was enormous, visible from very far away in the sky. While it almost looked like the camp was within a large, natural clearing, Bravura was quick to notice the clearing was artificial. Cloud landed in a thicket of trees outside of the clearing, and the two began planning their two-person assault on the international cult. They talked for a good twenty minutes, but ultimately kept coming back to the same conclusion:

“We need more information,” Bravura concluded. “We need to know who we’re dealing with properly, and more importantly we need logistics of the camp.”

Cloud smirked. “I got this.” He sat down comfortably, calmed his breathing, cleared his mind, and summoned a Shade Circle. A shade was created immediately thereafter.

Bravura’s jaw went slack. “Whaaat the heck-”

Cloud’s shade flew upwards out of the thicket and further east towards the camp. While he at first thought staying high in the air would be the best idea, an idea soon struck him and he instead flew back downwards to the ground. He began phasing into the ground, keeping only the top of his head poking out. He continued forward like this, ready to dip into the ground at the first sign of cultists.

As he approached the site, Cloud could see a wide circle of tents. He travelled closer. Past the tents, the land sloped downwards, dug into an artificial pit. In the centre of the pit was a half built temple, its walls unfinished. The top of the temple was a golden statue of an eye Cloud had become all too familiar with. He could see cultists all around now. Most were Horses, though a fair amount of Gryphons and Zebra were mixed in too. A few Minotaurs roamed about, as well as a race Cloud didn’t know about but recognised: Their bodies were like that of Apes, but as large as a Minotaur; hulking muscles were spread across their dark, furry bodies, and thick white manes covered their head and necks like lions. Their eyes were a startling blue, and their fingers ended in black claws. They look like that guy who strangled me back on that boat…

Trying to be cautious, Cloud slipped his shade deeper into the ground. Fully submerged, he was unable to see, but continued forward towards the temple. After a few moments, he poked his head up to check his location, and found himself inside the temple. A throne forged of gold and silver sat at the far end. Cloud spotted a trapdoor to the left of the entrance. He wasted no time in investigating.

The trapdoor led into a rather regal room, its walls and floor decorated with chiseled marble. Throughout the room were various shipping crates. On each of the far ends of the room were two crude, metal doors, sticking out from the rest of the room. Going through the one to his right, Cloud found a cavernous hole stretching into the depths of the earth. It went at an angle, making it possible to walk into. Crashes and thuds could be heard every few seconds. A mine, maybe? Cloud felt his shade reaching its distance limit, and stopped himself from going particularly deep. He doubled back and tried the other door.

The other door led to a smaller room with a much clearer intention. Cells lined the dank stone walls, the sniffling of dozens of kidnapped children could be heard, and in the middle of the room was a crucifix bearing a rotting body of a Horse. Though the sight of the dungeon shocked Cloud, what shocked him more so was the contents of a particular cell. Abandoning stealth, he flew over to Mawr.

Mawr began to stir, her vision blurry. The floor was hard and uncomfortable, and the room stank of death. She sat up, then resisted the urge to shit herself as she noticed a dark spectre standing over her.

“WHAAT THE FUCK?!” She screamed, startling awake Kufn, who was lying in the same cell. He sat up in a panic, his mind solely focused on the lack of sword on his person. He looked around, feverishly, until his eyes locked onto the ghost in their cell.

“[WHAAT THE FUCK?!]”

Mawr froze, trying to comprehend both what had happened, and what was happening. A laser Horse knocked me out with previously mentioned lasers… I'm in some sort of dungeon… There's an apparition of some sort in front of me… Mawr's mind froze as she realised she had no idea what to do.

I really should've looked into the shade not being able to speak.

“[WHY IS THERE A DEMON IN THE CELL?!]”

“[I DON'T KNOOW!]”

Maybe I could use a telepathy spell? No, I'd need a Support Circle, and there's no way this form has enough magic stored in it to begin with.

“[TRANSFORM INTO A SWORD SO I CAN KILL IT!]”

“[I DON’T HAVE ANY ENERGY TO TRANSFORM!]”

The annoying way, then...

The shade raised a ghostly hoof and pointed at Mawr, who tensed up. It then turned, and pointed back at himself. Many thoughts ran through Mawr’s mind about what it meant, and none of them pleasant. It pointed back at Mawr, more violently this time.

“[What the hell is it doing?!]” Kufn whispered to her. Mawr shook her head, bewildered and terrified.

The shade pointed a third time at Mawr, this time thrusting its leg for extra emphasis. An idea plopped into Cloud’s mind as he did this, and he next pointed down to the floor beneath him. Mawr’s gaze slowly followed where the shade pointed… and all fear disappeared as something clicked in her mind.

“Wait…” She blinked. “...Oh. Oh.” The shade was standing on top of a magic circle.

“[Are you speaking in tongues or just a different language?]”

Mawr stood up, ignoring Kufn, and stood face to face with the shade. She frowned.

“Hurry the fuck up, then,” she barked at it. Despite not understanding the meaning of her words, Kufn’s bewilderment doubled all the same. “I’ll start from this end.”

The shade nodded in response.

“I had a quick look at the site,” Mawr continued. “Are we in the church, or temple, or whatever?”

The shade began to nod, but stopped partway. It cocked its head, then held up a hoof. It pointed at her with its other hoof, then placed the second hoof underneath the first.

“...Underneath?” Mawr guessed.

The shade nodded.

“Right. Okay, I’ll make it to the church’s entrance, you either clear a way through the camp or have that flying circle ready to get us out. I’m not sure where the nearest town is, so I say we head east to to coast and plan further ahead there.”

The shade shook its head.

“What?” Mawr frowned. “Why not?”

The shade turned, and pointed at some of the other cells nearby, then pointed upwards. Finally, it brought its raised hoof slamming down into its other.

“...Free the prisoners, fight the cultists?”

The shade nodded.

Mawr placed her head in her hooves. “...Damn it to the stars…” She raised her head and sighed. “Fine. Whatever it is you’re planning, commence in fifteen minutes. I need to… ‘recharge’ first, but starting our assaults at the same time will cause confusion and makes things easier for both of us.”

The shade nodded, and turned to leave.

“Wait, wait!” Mawr exclaimed. “I almost forgot, the leader of these assholes is a Horse that can shoot laser beams.”

“A Horse that can what?” Bravura asked, the third person Cloud had bewildered that day.

“That’s what she told me,” Cloud replied, “and if it’s gonna live up to the kind of shit I’ve been through so far, he’s probably the boss of these lot.”

“It would be thematically appropriate, yes.” Bravura paused. “But, why did she need fifteen minutes?”

“W-well…” Cloud’s face reddened slightly. “In my experience… Changelings have an… odd way of, uh… collecting energy…”

“[...And that’s the situation,]” Mawr finished explaining, and assumed the position. “[Alright, let’s hurry up and get this done so we can get out.]”

“[No can do,]” Kufn said simply, shaking his head.

“[What? Why not?]” A realisation ran through Mawr’s head. “[Oh.]” She rolled her eyes. Her body was covered in a brief flash of green flames as she equipped a sword. “[You done complaining?]” He asked.

“[Oh yeah!]” Kufn grinned.

Cloud blushed like a filly at the thought of the sticky situation.

Fifteen minutes had passed. Bravura finished his stretching, then offered a hoof to help Cloud stand up.

“You ready to fight?” Bravura asked, a hint of a smirk on his face. Cloud smirked right back.

“Let’s kick some ass.”

Author's Note

Sun Lovin' Fools

Cloud and Bravura were marching towards the camp, side by side. Cloud’s horn was charged with magic, Bravura’s biceps were pre-flexed, and both were ready for ass kicking.

“You focus on any of them using crossbows or anything else ranged,” said Bravura. “I’ll focus on the close quarters.”

“Got it.”

Their presence had been noticed, and six cultists of varying races with equally varying golden weapons quickly approached them. Two Horses with crossbows hung back, keeping them in their sights, while the others - a Gryphon, a Minotaur, a Zebra, and one of the ape-like creatures Cloud had seen previously - approached with a mixture of bladed melee weapons.

“{Halt, intruders!}” Demanded the Zebra. “{Halt in the name of the light!}”

In a flash of blue, Cloud teleported behind the Horses and unloaded a blast from an electricity conjuration spell into them - dropping them like sacks of potatoes. The moment the others turned to look at what had happened, Bravura kicked off from the ground and charged towards them - cracking the first of them in the head before dashing to the others. They dropped one after another like a chain of dominos.

“Should’ve ordered, uh, a chinese,” said Cloud, “‘cause d- the dominoes have got you down!”

Bravura’s stomach churned in disgust.

“Shut up.” Cloud turned towards the camp, posing in a dramatic fashion. “Let’s keep… doing the… this.”

“What is wrong with you today?”

Another small group of six ran towards them, all wielding ornate glaives and spears. Cloud was caught off guard and stumbled, but Bravura was able to pull him out of the way of a swinging glaive. Bravura kicked up a cloud of dirt, stalling the group for a moment. Cloud took the moment and zapped them with a burst of electricity. Only one fell unconscious, but the others were stunned enough that Bravura’s punches made quick work of them.

“You guys, uh, shocked by that?” Cloud taunted. “By that punchline? And… and this punchline!” Cloud smiled triumphantly.

“I should've come here alone…”

“Alright, that should last for a while…” Mawr wiped herself down with a kleenex spell. “[You ready to get going?]”

Kufn was in a heap on the ground, giggling giddily.

“[Sucks for you, I'm going.]”

In a flash of green, Mawr became a fruit fly and flew through the bars of the cell. She returned to her normal self, then changed her nose into a dog's. Following the scent of someone who had visited the room frequently, she found the keys to the cells buried in a box at the back of the room, slightly out of sight of most cells. She changed her nose back to normal before tossing the keys into Kufn's cell.

“[Try to hurry up, we're grossly outnumbered. Oh, and don't free any of the prisoners yet, wait until we've met up with the others.]” Mawr turned and left. She found herself in the ornate, marble room, and quickly spied the piles of boxes. She tried the lids of a few, and found one which could be opened. Mawr almost gasped at its contents. Oh... Wow...

It was gold. Hundreds of bars of gold, stacked tightly. That explains their weapons, for the most part...She glanced to the other door. Then could the ‘hole’ he described be a mine? She paused for a moment. ...I don’t have the time to investigate, nor to take out any other cultists in there. Which means I what I should do is...! Mawr transformed into a Minotaur, and used her newfound colossal strength to move some crates in front of the door before transforming back. That should do it...

Mawr climbed her way up most of the ladder leading to the temple, but stopped near the top without opening the trapdoor. She transformed her ears into those of a Thestral and listened for signs of anybody on the floor above. Sure enough, she could hear talking.

“[...Then rally everyone, you fool!]” Mawr recognised the voice as the one who called himself ‘Ra’. “[Nut, deliver the messages, then return. Geb, watch the entrance and inform me of anything you see.]”

“Hey! We’re not done yet!” The second voice was female, though had a tomboy-ish tone. “You’ve had more than enough time, so give it to me!”

“Would you just be patient?!” Ra exclaimed. “I already told you; whatever that fool’s body did to it, it removed the main curse’s danger, and I will not waste the chance to use it!”

“We had a deal!”

“For crying out loud, do you really think now’s the time for this, you-!” He took a sharp breath. “Look - the camp is under attack. It’s only two people, and one of them was described as a green Unicorn. Chances are, it’s Cloud Calculation, one of my scouts was attacked by him. After the damage he did to the ship alone, I don’t have the luxury of underestimating the damage he can do here with help. If you really want me to give you the crystal-”

“-It’s a book-”

“-Shut up, it became a crystal-”

“-How can a book become a crystal?!”

“Just…!” Mawr heard a frustrated sigh and a low thud she could only assume was Ra placing his face in his hooves. After a moment, he spoke again. “You are very adamant about this, and I don’t have time to explain what happened. Are you going to let me tell you an extremely brief version, or are you going to keep whining?”

“Fine,” the other person sighed.

“Cloud Calculation somehow absorbed the book’s power,” expositioned Ra, “what happened to the book itself I’m not sure, we took the power back with a magic crystal, but the curse was gone. So, the magic is in the crystal, okay? We’re still able to use its power - freely actually, it’s rather fantastic - and we’ve been making the most of it. Do you understand n-?”

“IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!”

There was a pause.

“...You dumbass, pigeon brained, MOTHER FU-!”

“[Lord Ra!]” This voice was deep and imposing. A clicking sound clued Mawr in that the speaker was a Gryphon. “[All units are informed, but the intruders are defeating them faster than they can arrive!]”

So Nut is a Gryphon, Mawr mentally noted, probably a big guy from his voice. Ra is a Horse, and from what he was talking about it sounds like the lasers might be from a magical artifact or crystal. Whoever Geb is hasn’t spoken, and I can’t tell who the girl is...

“[Crap…]” Ra muttered. “[Alright, this is officially red alert, we’re not going to take any chances. Geb, go kill the two mercenary prisoners and get anyone in the mine topside. Nut, take the two mercenaries you twisted and use them against the intruders.] Ms. Do…” He tutted. “Evacuate, help fight… do whatever you want, but get out of my sight!” The last words were verbally spat.

Lots of footsteps could be heard, a particular set coming towards the trap door. Mawr dived off the ladder and midair transformed into a chameleon. She shifted her body colour to match the environment to hide in plain sight, determined to see what Geb looked like. The door opened, and Geb began climbing down the ladder.

Geb was a Diamond Dog, a bipedal, subterranean race with natural expertise in mining and navigation. Though their homeland was in the south-west regions of the world, it had been invaded by Dragons and rendered inhospitable three hundred years prior. With their society all but destroyed, colonies had scattered across the globe - though they were typically more common in the southern hemisphere.

Unlike Cloud, Mawr was not an ignorant asshole and knew all this.

Geb wore armour fashioned from gold, its design not dissimilar to that of Princess Celestia’s guards. On his left hip was a golden dagger, as gaudy as the other cultists’ weapons, and on his right hip was an all-too-familiar scimitar.

As Geb reached the ground, the door to the prison swung open and out walked Kufn, looking concerned. Geb and Kufn locked eyes for a moment, then Kufn’s eyes snapped down to Riptide on Geb’s hip. His concern melted away into a knowing smile.

“[There you are…]” He muttered, as if seeing someone he deeply cared for. His gaze went back to Geb and, while his smile remained, the nostalgic bliss in his eyes was twisted into burning hatred. “[Give her back to me, NOW.]”

Geb slowly drew the two blades from their sheaths, and shifted his feet into a fighting stance.

“[Take her from me, peasant,]” Geb spat.

The two stared each other down. The room was silent. Kufn’s hatred was deafening. Geb’s total attention was focused on the Horse in front of him…

...Which made sneaking up behind him and slashing open his throat with a Dragon’s claw very easy for a master assassin like Mawr. Geb fell to the ground, and Mawr kicked Riptide over to Kufn before changing the claw back into a hoof.

“[Oh.]” Kufn blinked. “[Okay, well… thanks.]” He picked up Riptide, gave her a smile, and put her back into her sheath on his side.

“[Ra’s upstairs,]” said Mawr, her voice low and careful, “[he has someone called ‘Do’ with him, and possibly a Gryphon called ‘Nut’. Nut might have left, but chances are Ra and Do are still there.]” Kufn nodded in understanding. He walked to Geb’s body and kicked it over to lie on its back.

“[Can you-?]”

“[Yep,]” for the first time, Mawr smiled at Kufn, “[that’s what I had in mind.]”

Beams of Sunlight

Cloud and Bravura had broken the perimeter of the camp and were within the encirclement of huge tents. They had taken out at least a dozen more cultists on their way in, yet they could already see more approaching them. The cultists were approaching them from all sides, keeping to groups of three. Cloud clenched his teeth. Crap! As he glanced back and forth, his eyes flicked to a nearby tent and an idea struck him.

“Hey!” Cloud called, getting Bravura’s attention. “Get in the tent!”

“Got it!” Bravura called back.

The two made a sprint for the tent as the cultists closed in on them. As they made it inside, Cloud shoved Bravura aside, spun around and doused the entrance’s tarp floor with water. As cultists began spilling in through the entrance, Cloud blasted the area with electricity. The current travelled through the water, harming the back of the crowd as much as the front. Fourteen cultists fell to the ground, leaving one at the very back of the group who hadn’t been standing in the water. He hesitated for a moment before dropping his weapon and running.

“Bottlenecking them,” Bravura observed aloud as he walked to Cloud’s side. “Clever.”

As he turned to reply, Cloud finally noticed just how large the tents truly were. From the view of the interior, he could see that the tents were about as large as the single-storey buildings in Ponyville. To make up for the lack of flooring in the tent, grey-green tarps had been rolled out underneath it. It was more than enough for a substitute of a building, though Cloud had to question the surprising lack of need for AC. This tent in particular looked like it was being used as an office for around four or five people, with desks and filing cabinets spread about. Wait…

“These tents are big,” said Cloud, “but they can’t possibly be big enough for the amount of people we’ve seen here, right?”

“You mentioned there was a mine of some sorts underneath the temple,” Bravura replied, “it’s not unlikely there are more ‘lodgings’ there if they needed more space.” He looked to the pile of cultists by the entrance. “They have some Diamond Dogs too; it wouldn’t be difficult to shape the underground as they need to.”

“They have some what?”

Before Bravura could call out Cloud for being an ignorant asshole, the angry shouts and cries of more cultists snapped them both to attention.

“Here were go again…!” Bravura muttered.

Inside the temple, Geb came bursting through the trapdoor. Ra, clad in a kingly gown and blue headdress, spun to the noise, his hoof charged with magic and ready to fire a laser.

“[My Lord!]” Geb yelped. “[T-The mines! The prisoners are revolting against us!]”

“[What?!]” Surprise and panic rushed across Ra’s face, until he settled on anger. “[Shit!]” He turned Aima and Carry who had been standing near the entrance in a zombie-like state. “[You two, get over here and- wait…]” Unable to distinguish the order and the epiphany, the two rushed over to Ra and stood waiting. Ra looked back to Geb, before again charging both forehooves with magic as if they were horns. “Nice try, Changeling, but there are no prisoners in the mine today!”

Mawr clicked her tongue in annoyance before rolling out of the way of the lasers flying toward her. Not giving her time to think, Ra fired more and more lasers in short bursts as if they were enormous magic bolts. Mawr dived and rolled as much as she could, staying in Geb’s form. After a few second of this, she was able to dive behind a pew as cover.

“Very bold of you, ‘Ra’!” Mawr called out, tauntingly. “Outfitting your people with exactly what I need to take you down!”

“What?!”

“Gold disrupts the flow of magic, you dumb shit!” Mawr tossed out her golden armour. Seeing movement, Ra fired a laser, but sure enough the laser exploded on contact with the gold. “Son of a bitch! You two!” Aima and Carry showed no visible response. “Oh for-! [You two! Kill her already, you idiots!]” At his command, the two charged towards the cover Mawr had dived behind.

“[NOW!]” Mawr bellowed, before explosively transforming into a Manticore and taking on both mind-twisted mercs. Out of the hole sped a streak of wind. In a split second reaction, Ra fired off a laser just as the streak reached him. Kufn went sprawling, but not before he’d stabbed Geb’s golden dagger into Ra’s foreleg. Ra cried out in pain, and a strange yellow light shone from the wound. At that moment, Nut - the large blue Gryphon, clad in armour similar to Geb’s - walked out of the bathroom.

“[Alright,]” he said, “[I’m gonna take the mercs and- OH SHIT-!]” Seeing the chaos before him, he drew his golden sickle from his back and ran towards it all. Before he could get there, the wall next to him exploded into rubble. As the dust cleared, the cause became apparent - Bravura had suplexed a Minotaur twice his size directly into it.

“[OH YEAH!]” Bravura cheered, his adrenaline pumping. He scampered to his hooves as an Enourmonk - one of the Gorilla-like creature Cloud had seen before - was telekinetically tossed into the room through the fresh new hole.

“[I don’t know who you are, why you’re doing all this, or have any sort of context,]” said Cloud, “[but you’re so under arrest!]” He grinned triumphantly.

“[Alright, that’s better at least.]”

“[You!]” Cloud pointed to Ra. “[The Ghyr Muhimm looking guy! I’m guessing you’re Ra?!]”

Ra pulled the knife from his leg, then held a hoof over the wound. After a flash of light, he removed the hoof revealing the wound to be healed.

“[I want answers, Ra!]” Cloud yelled. “[What the hell has been going on since you kidnapped me in Shirith?! What was the book?! Why are you an evil asshole?! Answer me!]”

“Fuck off!”

“Okay, rude.”

Suddenly, Cloud was pulled out of the way by Bravura from a swing from Nut’s sickle.

“Pay attent-!” Bravura was cut off by Cloud pushing him out of the way of one of Ra’s lasers.

“Take your own advice!”

Meanwhile, Mawr was still in manticore form fighting the mercenaries. After a lot of skirmishing, she was finally able to get clean swipe at Carry - shredding her to pieces. Using that as an opportunity, Aima picked up a pew with his colossal strength and smashed it against Mawr’s head. As she staggered from the hit, he drew knife after knife and buried them across her body. Mawr screamed, which Aima used as well: He grabbed her tongue and, with his last remaining knife, slashed it off. Mawr’s screams doubled, blood pouring from her mouth. In a flash of fire she became her normal form, and ran with the last of her quickly depleting strength. Aima grabbed her by the tail and swung her around, crashing her head into the temple wall. Though her chitin cracked and leaked blood, she again stood and again tried to run, diving forward first to avoid being grabbed again. Aima threw his final knife, only for it to be deflected by a swing of a sword. Mawr looked back to see Kufn standing between the two of them. Mawr tried to speak, but choked on blood. She tried again, and managed to force out three words:

“[Kill… that fucker…!]”

Kufn cracked his neck, as well as a smile.

“[Yes, ma’am!]”

Back on the other side of the room, Cloud and Bravura had their hooves full juggling between fighting Nut, dealing with the cultists spilling into the building, and dodging the constantly firing lasers. At long last, Nut took a swing at Cloud when he wasn’t busy dodging a laser, and Cloud was able to knock his claw aside, grab it, and yank it out of its socket. As Nut screamed and dropped his sickle, Cloud summoned a Shock Circle on his right hoof.

“[This is for stabbing me with a crystal, asshole!]” Cloud yelled, as he rammed a Thunder Punch into Nut’s jaw. Nut’s screams faded along with his consciousness.

“[Need some help over here!]” Bravura called as he ducked under another laser. Sixteen cultists had surrounded him, all swinging, shooting and otherwise attacking with their weapons. Bravura was so busy dodging he no longer had time to attack. Before Cloud could respond, a laser finally exploded into Bravura and he fell to the ground. The cultists were quick to take advantage of this, slashing him bloody.

“NO!” Cloud’s emotions took hold of him. He teleported to Bravura and overcharged his horn with electricity until it exploded outward like an electromagnetic pulse. The cultists all fell, no longer conscious, but Bravura had been caught in the blast just as badly. He wasn’t moving. Grinding his teeth in rage, Cloud turned as Ra fired off a big yellow concentrated beam of magic towards him. Cloud fired his red electrical beam, and the two met in the air. The beams collided, and struggled against each other for power. Magical sparks of all colours flew from the centre of the perpetual explosion. The eye of the storm was a dazzling white, but moved in neither direction - each beam similar in strength.

Across the room, Kufn and Aima continued to clash. Every punch, every slash, every kick, every stab… all were avoided, redirected or otherwise for naught.

“[You seem quite fast compared to earlier!]” Kufn laughed. “[Suppose I’ll go faster too!]” Kufn’s attacks suddenly sped up twofold, and Aima fell to the ground as countless slashes opened up across his body at lightning speed. Kufn stopped, panting for breath. His eyes fixed locked onto Aima’s pocket. “[Aha!]” Kufn reached inside the pocket, and pulled out his stack of cards. He looked at the stack with a smile before putting it back into his scarf.

Kufn turned to see how Mawr was doing, only to see a pile of ash surrounded by bloody knives. Suddenly, the ash exploded with red flames as a Phoenix rose into the air with a majestic spin. It glided to the ground, then was surrounded by a burst of green flames as Mawr returned to her normal form. She was gasping for air, and soon collapsed onto the ground.

“[You okay?]” Asked Kufn, offering a hoof. Mawr took it, and unsteadily rose to her feet.

“[Yeah…]” Her voice was breathy and weak. “[That took… all of my energy…]” She swallowed, frowned, then spat on the ground. “[This new tongue is weird…]”

Kufn looked over to Cloud, and saw him locking lasers with Ra.

“[Isn’t that the guy?]” Kufn asked. Mawr looked to Kufn, then to where he was facing. She nodded.

“[Yep… That’s him…]” Mawr sat on the ground and leaned against a wall. “[You should probably… go help him…]” Her voice slowly started to gain some strength back. “[He’s getting surrounded…]” Sure enough, more cultists came flooding in behind him.

“[I’d better get a raise after all this nonsense!]” Kufn laughed. He dashed over to Cloud, like a streak of wind in the air, just as Cloud was able to get some control back over his emotions.

“”[Hi!]” Greeted Kufn, as he cut down cultists. “[Nice to formally meet you! Didn’t introduce myself before, but then you were ghosting me!” Kufn laughed, burying his sword into the stomach of a Minotaur. “[My name’s Kufn, I’m a mercenary from Scarftown, a town in the north-east of Saddle Arabia!]”

“[Now is… not the time for this…!]” Cloud managed to say, all other energy focused on maintaining his beam.

“[It’s a lovely place, Scarftown; it the country’s only scarf-producing factory!]” Kufn continued, lopping off a Enourmonk’s hand. “[Not a wealthy town, though, scarves don’t sell too well! It is a desert country after all!]” He laughed again as he deflected a crossbow bolt out of the air.

“[Look, can we do this… after…?!]” Cloud clenched his jaw. “[This spell… unf…! It’s… not an easy one…!]”

“[Alright, alright, I’ll-]” Kufn slashed the throat open a Horse’s throat, “[cut you a break!]” He laughed once more, before focusing on the job at hand.

“You can’t overpower me, Cloud!” Ra yelled. “You told my brother, Ghyr, all about how your magic circles work!”

“So he was…! A part of your cult…! All along…?!” Cloud yelled back. “Also…! If you wanna…! Talk now…! Can we…! Not do this laser shit…?! It’s so… freaking loud!”

“It’s what?!”

“I said…! It’s loud…!”

“I can’t hear you! The lasers are too loud!”

“That’s what I just-! Okay, y’know what?” Cloud cancelled his beam spell and rolled to his right to avoid Ra’s. “Time out for a sec!” Cloud cast his voice amplification spell on himself. “Let me cast this loudness spell on you so we can understand each other.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” said Ra. “Sure, go ahead.” Cloud cast the spell on Ra, then moved back a few steps to his left into the position he had been in before. “Testing- Oh, wow.” Ra nodded. “Yeah, that’s better, thank you. Okay, lasers again on three, you ready?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

“Three… Two… One… Now!”

Cloud and Ra fired their beams once more, a bright yellow and a sparking red, and they once again collided in a dramatic shower of sparks.

“Was Ghyr working for you all this time…?!” Cloud yelled.

“Ghyr?!” Ra yelled back. “Ha! No! That idiot is my brother! He foolishly told me all about you and your situation during a little visit of mine!”

“What did you…! Do to him…?!”

“What?! Oh, nothing! Sorry, that came out more ominous than I meant it to! I visit for lunch every now and then!”

“Oh…! I see…! Sorry…! Go on…?!”

“I’ve had my spies keep watch on you! Though you were missing for a while, so they didn’t find you until you were picked up by the Money family in Shirith!”

“Wouldn’t that mean…! They were only watching me…! For like a day…?!”

“They’re not great spies, I admit, but when you’re gaining followers through mind control beggars can’t be choosers!”

Kufn finally managed to kill the last of the cultists. He could see that Cloud was busy, so he picked up Bravura and carried him over to Mawr before sitting beside her to catch his own breath.

“[You’re not gonna do something about Ra?]” Mawr asked, still somewhat out of breath.

“[They seem like they’re doing a thing,]” Kufn replied. He pointed to Bravura. “[You see this guy’s ass? Now there’s someone who doesn’t skip leg day!]”

“[As great as that ass is, you should really go help Cloud. I’m paying you to get me to him, I can’t be ‘to him’ if he’s dead.]”

“[Alright, alright,]” Kufn waved a hoof. “[I’ll help him fight the cult leader, after this break.]”

Author's Note

75K words! :yay:

Fire

Author's Note

I've mentioned this in blog posts, and here it is again:
I'm rushing the progression of the plot, as well as writing in general. Reasons for this are that this arc has taken obscenely longer than I wanted, and problems in real life have got me stressing. I'm hurrying this arc up.
The arc will be finished within six chapters.

Fire

Kufn climbed to his hooves. He leant forward, raised his butt into the air, and stretched out his back. After a satisfying - pop - he gently picked up one of Aima’s many knives strewn about the place and, with a flick of his Horse wrist, flung it at Ra. The blade flew through the air, and sunk deep into the flesh of Ra’s lower hind leg. Ra cried out, and his leg buckled. In that moment, Cloud boosted himself with his Support Circle, pumping up his beam to an even greater strength. The pushback was quick, and in little time the red beam crashed into Ra. A few splotches of red blood splattered onto pews nearby. Ra fell - his flesh ripped and scorched.

Cloud let up with his beam. He was gasping for air, and his head was pounding, but he was very much in control of himself. He dismissed the Support Circle and ran forward, only to be blasted back by a wave of hot air.

Ra rose to his hooves, his body engulfed in yellow flames. Where the fire licked as his body, his wounds closed - skin stitching itself back together and hair regrowing, the knife in his leg pushed out by the quickly regenerating flesh, and a dirty grin spreading across his face.

“[Look upon me and behold, mortals!]” Ra bellowed. “[Behold my almighty solar flare! Bow before me, and my merciful flames of healing!]” Cloud was agape, dumbfounded by the sight before him. That magic… it’s… it’s so… unfair!

“[Well…]” Kufn flexed his eyebrows. “[Hot damn.]” His mouth grew into a cheeky smile as he unsheathed Riptide.

“[Though pathed in blood, my reign will be both righteous and glorious!]” Ra continued. “[You stand against me, you foolish though surprisingly racially diverse radicalists!]” He paused, then dropped his mightier-than-thou demeanor for a moment. “[Seriously, I mean you guys are a PR dream for diversity, Pony Rangers has got nothing on you; they always made the yellow ranger a Changeling and the black ranger a Zebra. Good stuff, you get high marks for showmanship. The pincer attack too, well played. If I hadn’t had been using a spy network to keep track on you throughout Saddle Arabia I’d have thought you’d all known each other for years. But that’s ridiculous, ha!]” Ra laughed. “[The idea of this short series of events taking place over years? What nonsense! Well, anyway…]” His demeanor shifted back. “[Your children and their children will worship me! I will be the one worshipped across a new, divine world! I’ll be who people think of when they snap into a Slim Jim!]”

As Ra continued, Cloud flexed his eyebrows at Kufn who had been hesitating.

“[Alright, fine, I was curious where he was going with the Pony Rangers thing, sue me,]” Kufn muttered, though still sounding upbeat.

Kufn’s body seemed to relax and go slack. He inhaled air in a single, deep breath and then… in the blink of an eye - Cloud’s, specifically - Kufn was past Ra, sheathing Riptide, and Ra himself was hidden behind an explosion of blood. A few long seconds passed, and Cloud’s breath was caught in his throat as the bloody, broken, and twisted Horse once again climbed to his hooves.

“[I…]” Ra growled, “[I am... immortal…]” His body was a mess, to say the least, and the sight of it made Cloud unable to act. Kufn’s smile faded away, becoming a scowl. He gripped the handle of Riptide with a look of hatred towards the regenerating Ra. Seconds passed feeling like eternity as tension built among the three stallions. As each came closer and closer to a breaking point, finally a voice broke the silence:

“Hey! Guy in the head dress!” The voice was female, semi-deep and slightly twisted by an accent unfamiliar to Cloud. The three stallions turned to its source; a Unicorn mare standing in the hole in the wall made by Bravura. Her coat was a deep blue, and her spiked purple mane was up in a mohawk. By her hooves lay an unconscious yellow Pegasus - someone Ra recognised all too well. “What’s the difference between you and a… uh…” The mare continued, “a bird?”

“...What?” Asked Ra. “Who are you?”

The mare held up what looked like an almost spherical crystal the size of a tennis ball - its surface made it almost look like a twenty sided die. “I’m only gonna use one stone to-! No, wait, that doesn’t… Oh, screw it. Fuck you!” She shouted as she lobbed the crystal at Ra. The crystal smashed against his head, and Ra suddenly froze as if petrified. A red light spread across his body like goo before, in the very same manner, his body seemed to disintegrate.

“Uh…” Cloud looked back and forth between the mare and where Ra had been standing. “UH…” The mare walked over to Cloud and swiftly slapped him across the face. “WHY-?!” The mare grabbed his face in a telekinetic hold and forced him to face her.

“Shut the fuck up, and list’n to me!” She shouted. “Stop clownin’ around and focus on gettin’ back to Equestria! You are running out of time!”

“What are you talking about?!” Cloud fought against her telekinesis with his own. “Who the hell are you?!”

“Who I am is complicated and I only have about thirty seconds left here! You need to be in Equestria as soon as possible, or the future will fall to pieces!”

“Fut-? What are you talking about?!” Cloud exclaimed.

“Next time we meet, I won’t know who you are,” she continued, ignoring him, “but you need to tell me about this exact situation happenin’ includin’ the time and date! If I ask for any sort of proof or somethin’ that this happened, tell me this: Save the cheerleader, save the world.”

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“It’s a reference to somethin’ that you, nor anyone else in this world will understand.” She paused, then glanced away in thought. “...Except maybe that guy…” She shook her head and looked back to Cloud. “Stop wastin’ your goddamn time. Go to Equestria. Now.” Finally, she released his head from her telekinetic grip and walked back a few paces to a slightly clearer area.

“I don’t understand-”

“You don’t need to.”

“Who are you?!” Cloud demanded one last time.

With an annoyed huff, she looked him in the eyes.

“Overcast Vesper.”

In a bright flash, and a loud bang, Vesper disappeared.

Hot Pizza

The strange visitor, Overcast Vesper, had left everyone in a confused state. Cloud soon enough snapped to attention though, and grabbed Bravura to rush him back to Oregano for some medical attention. With a quick promise to return for Mawr, he flew off and away on a Support Circle, leaving the Changeling and Horse among the chaos.

“[Well!]” Said Kufn with a start. “[Ra seems to have disintegrated or otherwise vanished, I have a good bit of that gold to claim downstairs, I might even get a bonus for helping to rescue those children!]” He took a breath before exhaling with a grin. “[I’d call that a mission success!]” He gave a quick wink to Mawr before heading for the trapdoor. Mawr picked up a nearby dismembered Minotaur hand and flipped him off. Oh good, I have the energy to move. Mawr stood up slowly and shakily made her way towards the unconscious yellow Pegasus, picking up a stray knife along the way.

While a Phoenix transformation could stop a Changeling from dying in the immediate sense, it did not put them into good health. Her wounds were mended, but Mawr was very much without energy - emotional or otherwise - and was extremely vulnerable. Her chitin was softened to a state weaker than a fleshier creature such as a Pony or Horse, and her mind was without defense against any sort of mental attack. It had kept her alive, yes, but even the weakest attack from the weakest opponent would kill her in an instant.

Regardless, Mawr was a professional and had no plans to take it easy. She woke the Pegasus with a swift kick to the head.

“Daring Do,” Mawr croaked, her voice strained and slow, “we meet again...”

“Have… we met before?”

“Bitch I’m a Changeling, you’ll never know.”

“Uh…”

“You usually operate in Equestria.” Mawr held up the knife she’d grabbed. “You’re telling me how you planned how to get back there, or you’re losing an eye.”

“Where’s Ra?” Do asked. “What happened here?”

“Your boss? Heh, he warned you a certain stallion was coming, right?” No reason for her to know the truth, and I sure as hell don’t want notoriety from this. There’ll be no consequences pinning this on Cloud, definitely. None I care about anyway…

“Wait… That ‘Cloud Calculation’ he talked about…” Do’s eyes widened in disbelief, “...he beat Ra?!”

“Cloud is a stallion who’s fought actual gods, defeating some pretender was nothing to him.” Mawr held up the knife once more. “Stop avoiding the question. Tell me how you planned to return to Equestria.”

“I…” Do paused for a moment, glancing between Mawr and the knife. Finally, she gave a tired sigh and he shoulders dropped. “I had a deal with someone. Ra was collecting magical artifacts, and one of ‘em was too dangerous for him to get. I’d already planned to put an end to his operation and take the artifacts somewhere safe, but when I heard he was after the Tome of Consumption I had to be fast. The Tome… it’s dangerous, to say the least. It allows people to instantly learn different skills within seconds, but it curses them. It twists their mind, makes them obsessed with violence and death. I had to join him to stop him, he was already too much for me alone to stop, and I didn’t have time to get help from Princess Celestia with the Tome in danger of being taken-”

“Would you hurry this up?” Mawr tried to growl, instead coming out as a weakened beg. “I asked you how you plan to get back, not why you came here. Hurry up, asshole.” Before I pass out...

“I’m getting to it, okay?!” Do exclaimed. “Jeez… Anyway, I made a deal with Ra: I would help him to gather other artifacts, and in exchange he would give the Tome to me. But then…” Do frowned. “Then Calculation got to the Tome. It was being kept in one of Ra’s hideouts, he used the place for storing different books about magic - and fittingly enough marked the sign out front with the symbol for magic. Apparently he was smart enough to not use the Tome, and kept it there after he’d found it. Why Calculation went in there, I have no idea. He’s a Unicorn; maybe he thought he could steal some spells. Anyway, he was somehow able to take the Tome and use it, though I don’t get how he would: At minimum he’d need some sort of magical conductor, something that could channel magical energy, kinda like drinking it with a straw. I didn’t find any trace of one though. The Tome corrupts the conductor used as much as the person who uses it, it’s not the sorta thing someone would throw away. It’s not like you have to stop using it, as long as you have some way to learn something, usually books, you can still use it.”

A realisation suddenly struck Mawr. “Wait, so if a dictionary were to be used, for example…”

“The user would immediately have full comprehension of whatever language it was written in,” Do replied.

Mawr tried to groan but instead let out an exhausted sigh. That explains why he can speak Saddline all of a sudden. She sat down, as even standing had become extremely taxing.

“Though I doubt he used something as silly as a dictionary, it did look like Calculation used the Tome. He was in bad shape when I found him, and the Tome was missing, but then... I couldn’t find whatever he’d used as a conductor. Ra had some kind of magic alarm attached to the place, and he’d sent me to deal with whoever was there. Eventually Ra put the Tome’s magic into a crystal, but the curse of the Tome was just… gone. So-”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Mawr cut in, “so he kept using the crystal and wouldn’t give it to you, I know. You either suck at answering questions or you really wanna lose an eye.”

“I had a friend bring me to Saddle Arabia, a Dragon named Gaums. He brought me there because he owed me, but that was a one trip deal. In exchange for another trip back, I promised him I’d bring him a lot of Ra’s gold.”

“...Which you knew about, how exactly?”

“I might’ve sorta lied, but then I lucked out and it turns out Ra liked gold a lot.”

“‘A lot’ is putting it lightly…”

There was a grunt from across the room as Kufn lugged up the last of the gold. He took a moment to catch his breath before walking over to Mawr.

“[Alright tighty!]” Kun grinned. “[I have my payment - ‘two hundred sandpaper plus whatever I want to take from who we’re after’ - and you have your kidnapping victim. I’d say that’s a done deal! Good working with you!]” He stuck out a hoof to shake.

“[Yeah, change of plans,]” said Mawr. “[We need that gold to secure a ride back to Equestria.]”

Kufn’s eye twitched and his hoof returned to the ground, but his grin remained. “[...Excuse me?]”

“[My dislike for you aside, I don’t like being unreasonable when it comes to business. How’s this: I’m working for Princess Luna of Equestria. You stay with us until we’re back and safe, I’ll make sure you’re paid minimum the equivalent of that,]” she gestured to the gold, “[from the Royal Treasury itself. I say minimum because our original agreement entitled you to all that, and this new agreement means more work on your end. I’ll even throw in an airship ride to a location of your choice, if I’m able.]”

Kufn’s face was unreadable for a short time, before finally he laughed coldly. He walked close and whispered into her ear, “[if it’s not at least double, there will be consequences.]”

“[Uh huh. Anyway, I’m dangerously low on energy, so do me a favour and fuel me up, would you?]”

“[Nope,]” Kufn shook his head. “[No dick, no deal.]”

“[I don’t have the energy to-! Oh forget it…]” Mawr turned back to Do and held up the knife one more time. “Sit on my face.”

“...What?”

On the outskirts of the camp, the bushes began to rustle as something approached...

The One Eyed Snake was the seediest and scummiest nightclub in Canterlot. This made Fluttershy especially concerned that Twilight had asked her to go there at three in the morning.

Even as she approached from down the street, Fluttershy could see the lights flashing and music blaring loudly. It was exactly the kind of music she didn’t like; loud, odd bleeps and a pounding beat. She couldn’t even understand the lyrics, all she could hear was the lead singer yelling ‘hot pizza’ over and over. Why does it have to sound so unnatural? Why can’t people appreciate something something more natural like the voice of a songbird? Or something more calming like the sound of a river? Or the roars of a lion as it tears a gazelle to shreds?

Though the discomfort in her gut grew, she continued towards the nightclub. A large beige stallion with a shaved mane and orange tail stood at the door. He wore a black suit and dark sunglasses. Fluttershy questioned how he could see, with the night dark enough already. As she came to the door, she realised… he could not.

Well.

Fluttershy walked into the nightclub. The dancefloor stretched out before her, littered with colourful lights and raving ravers. On either side of the room were spiral staircases leading up to a second floor, filled with tables and booths for those wanting to sit and drink. Fluttershy saw little of this though; deafened by the music and hardly able to see as light flashed across her eyes to each beat of the song. How Twilight expected her to find her, Fluttershy had no idea. She found herself tempted to give up searching before she even began and walk right back outside. Before she could, however…

There’s a spiral staircase in front of you and to your right. Find it, then look for a table in the back.

Though startled enough to let out an unhearable “meep,” Fluttershy quickly enough regained her composure and slowly walked forward, keeping her body low to steady her nerves. Her eyes began to adjust, and she could make out the vague silhouette of the staircase Twilight had thought about. She made her way to it as she dodged past the people throwing themselves about and whipping their manes around. As she reached the top of the staircase, she could see Twilight waving her over from a booth against a wall, along with Pinkie sitting next to her bouncing to every beat. Applejack was on Twilight’s other side, watching Fluttershy with a cold smile. As Fluttershy came close to the table, the sound from the club lessened drastically, sounding almost muffled, as if she’d entered a quiet bubble.

“I cast a quiet bubble spell, before you ask,” said Twilight.

“Oh… I see…” Fluttershy mumbled. She slipped into the booth seat opposite Twilight.

“Take a seat.”

“But I’m already-”

“Well, girls, now that Flutters-High has done as I asked and everyone is gathered, we can begin. I asked you all to come here for a very important meeting between the Spirits of Harmony.”

“If, um…” Fluttershy started. “If it’s a meeting between all of us, where’s-?”

“The other two are in the bathroom, Rainbow Dash drank too much while we were waiting for everyone else to arrive, but I’ve got them linked via a passive telepathy spell. They they can hear us just fine, but we can’t hear them.”

“So Twilight! So Twilight! So Twilight!” Bounced Pinkie. “What’re we dooooing?!”

“Sitting down and being quiet, you loud piece of-”

“Why don’t you enlighten us as to why you gathered us here tonight, Twilight?” Asked Applejack, cool and composed. “We’re all rather eager to hear what you have to say.”

“Right, right…” Twilight closed her eyes as she composed herself, and sipped at her drink. Fluttershy glanced at Applejack with a slightly confused expression, but put the thought aside as Twilight replaced her drink on the table. “I need to tell you all about what’s been going on, and what kind of trouble we might be in…” Over the course of about an hour, Twilight explained everything she had learnt since the destruction of Ponyville: Her mentor’s involvement in shady activities, Cloud’s banishment and strange DNA, the truth behind the attack on her mother and Spike’s arrest, and how Princess Luna had shown her true colours. As she explained, the other two returned from the bathroom.

Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice that the song playing was being looped over and over. She supposed either the DJ or nightclub owner must really like ‘hot pizza’. Maybe they’re Itailian… The others hadn’t seemed to have noticed the music, too busy asking questions as Twilight continued to explain. All except Applejack, Fluttershy noticed, who instead watched each of them in turn - including Fluttershy herself - and gauged their reactions to the various things Twilight was saying. Her eyes went lower, and noticed Applejack’s tail. At first she thought it was swinging to the beat of the song, but after a moment she realised it was extremely off-beat.

“This is… a lot to take in…” Said Rainbow Dash, as Twilight finished. The sudden end of Twilight’s droning monologue snapped Fluttershy out of her trance, just in time for the next important observation.

“That’s what your mom said last night!”

“Shut up, Pinkie.”

“But, Twilight…” Fluttershy mumbled, “if all this is true, then… what can we do about it?”

“I’m glad you asked, Mumbleguy,” said Twilight, pausing for dramatic effect.

“That’s not my na-”

“I have a plan to put everything back to how it should be!” She smiled triumphantly. “But I’ll need help from all of you to do it. I’ve found a very dangerous spell, but it’s far too advanced for anyone to cast, even me. I have an idea on how we can remedy that, though! We’ll need to be secretive; we can’t afford to let either Princess know we’re after one...”

“You could have mentioned there was gonna be a Police raid!” Cloud exclaimed for the third time as he and Bravura flew back to the cult site.

“I had more pressing matters on my mind, thank you very much,” Bravura coughed in reply. Bravura had awoken soon after receiving basic treatment, though his body was still lathered with blood. His simple wounds had been healed easily, but his worst wounds were internal. The doctor they’d seen had given him a healing potion to sip on while he continued to deal with the day’s problems, though she’d made him give his word he would take time to rest and heal completely when everything was done with.

“She’s a known assassin, and he’s working for her!” Cloud continued. “You didn’t stop to think that maybe them being there when a Police raid was gonna happen was a bad idea?”

“Lord you’re obnoxiously loud…” Bravura rubbed his face in between sips. “No wonder you were banished so far, they were probably worried they’d still hear you on the same side of the world...”

“Well that’s just rude!”

“Would you be quiet?!” Bravura groaned. “Goddamn jackass…”

“Language!”

“Oh don’t you dare start that!”

The travel took some time, but the two finally arrived at the cult site. The Police raid had already begun, made clear by the plethora of Zebras in uniforms similar to those Cloud had seen in Oregano.

As Cloud flew them down to the ground, Bravura threw a consultant pass around Cloud’s neck. Before Cloud could question this, a black helmet was slammed onto his head, promptly knocking him out. The Support Circle under the two of them shattered, as did one of Cloud’s hindlegs as they crashed into the ground.

“{Bravura,}” greeted a nearby Police officer, “{nice of you to drop in.}”

“{Hey, Excess Plain.}” Bravura sucked in air through his clenched teeth. “{Ouch… Bad idea, in retrospect.} You okay, Cloud?”

”Why would you do this.”

“{Yeah, he’s fine.}”

“{Y’know, some of the artifacts they’ve got here are pretty amazing,}” Mr. Ex. Plain monologued, “{take this for example,}” Plain held up a stack of ivory playing cards, “{this is really strange. Lucky we have Daring Do around, else we’d never know what they did.}” He tossed one of the card at Cloud’s broken leg. The card slashed into it like a knife, making Cloud scream. The card exploded into a flurry of lights and Cloud’s leg lit up all the same, leading to Cloud screaming harder as every cell in his leg was incinerated and vaporised. In a very bloody explosion, a new leg ruptured out from his torso, replacing the one he’d just lost. Finally, the lights faded and disappeared.

“WHY-”

“{Impressive,}” nodded Bravura. “{Is Ms. Do awake now?}”

“{Yeah, she’s over yonder,}” Plain pointed in a vague direction behind himself. “{We found her in that temple, uh, ‘celebrating’ with her lady-friend.}”

“{Oh my.}”

As Bravura and Plain continued to talk, Cloud shakily climbed to his hooves. He look a look at his new left hindleg. A line of hairless scar tissue ran around the perimeter of his leg, just above the thigh. The leg itself seemed to be otherwise fine, responding perfectly well as he tried moving it in a few different ways. Its coat was noticeably lighter than the rest of his body. Well, that’’s just fucking great. Silly me for thinking my body wasn’t scarred and changed enough on this journey! For a moment, Cloud considered telling Bravura before walking off, but the anger growing in his gut suggested otherwise. He walked off towards the cathedral by himself.

He entered through the hole in the wall. Spread throughout the cathedral were various Police officers, most being Zebras but a few being Diamond Dogs.The Police were canvasing the area. Many of them tried to chalk out where various cultists’ bodies had been, this resulting in the floor looking as if bags of powdered chalk had exploded. Cloud flew over to the trapdoor, not wanting to disturb their definitely important and necessary work. After a small internal debate about whether to climb down the ladder or float down on the Circle, he decided to do both - standing on the Circle with his hind legs while gripping the ladder with his forelegs as he descended.

“Nailed it.”

“Hey! Shithead! Over here!”

Cloud turned to see who was calling, quickly spotting Mawr. Kufn and Do sat behind her, Do looking dazed and red in the face, Kufn singing under his breath as he polished his sword. Why does he keep saying ‘hot pizza’?

“Wow,” said Mawr, “you actually responded to ‘shithead’. I’m impressed.”

“I thought someone was calling for you,” Cloud responded cooly, “I was gonna pass on the message.” Ha! Yeah! I did it! I said a cool thing!

“Uh huh, whatever.” Dammit that was a good comeback! “Short version is; we’re stealing the gold to pay a Dragon to fly us back.”

“Um.”

“As for how to get the gold and get out,” Mawr continued, “you’re going to carry it with magic, that bitch,” she motioned to Do with her head, “is going to lead us through the mine, and when we’re far enough I’ll dig us out as a Diamond Dog. You ready to go or what?”

Cloud paused for a moment. “...Yeah. Just gimme a couple minutes.”

“Hurry it up.” Mawr clicked her tongue, and the two others got to work sealing the crates.

Cloud summoned a Support Circle, charged himself up, and, with a telepathy spell, sent Bravura one last message before he left:

Thank you for everything.

Author's Note

So ends the Oregano sub-arc. I might revisit this later on, there was more I wanted to do with the location and characters. The doctor at the beginning was originally supposed to have a much bigger role, as was Toestel, and the whole subplot with the mayor was cut and so on and so forth. The main reason for all this being that I want to hurry up writing this story so it doesn't take a couple decades.

From this chapter onward, this story is now rated Mature. Mostly so I can have more freedom with the jokes. Partly because we were skating the line between T and M anyway.

Worst

The mines were vast, stretching deep into the ground. The walls were picked clean of minerals, leaving the mostly earthy walls barren and void of valuables. Various wooden support beams spread throughout the tunnels, and attached to them were light potions like the one Cloud had seen Bravura use back in Oregano.

A certain group of mercenary, assassin, archaeologist, and jackass were walking through the mine, each carrying a share of gold. Kufn carried a crate on his back, though it wobbled in risk of falling from how lithe his body was. No matter how much it teetered, however, it never failed to stay in place. Do hovered off the ground, and used ropes to carry one crate with her forelegs and a second crate with her hind. Cloud walked along with a Support Circle following him, carrying a lazily stacked three crates. In front of them all marched Mawr in her male Bison form, lugging along four crates on her back.

“This is where they got all the gold?” Cloud asked.

“Not all of it,” Do replied. “Some came from trading across Saddle Arabia, he had an almost obsessive mindset about collecting it.”

“Not all of it, lodes though,” Mawr smirked.

“Well yeah, I just said that.”

“No, I mean, 'lodes', not 'loads'-”

“[Wow, context is a thing you really take for granted,]” observed Kufn.

“[I know, right?]” Said Cloud. “[They're talking about how Ra got loads of gold from here.]”

“[Ahh…]” Kufn nodded in understanding. He smirked impishly. “[More like 'lodes', am I right?]”

“[Yeah, I just told you that.]”

“[No, I mean, 'lodes', not 'loads'-]”

Suddenly, a cloaked Diamond Dog exploded out of the wall.

“[You fools!]” He cried. “[You think you have defeated us! But you’ve yet to fight me, the mighty Ste- OH GOD-]” The Dog collapsed in a bloody heap. Kufn pulled his sword out of the Dog’s chest. He turned to Cloud.

“[Like ‘lodes’ with an ‘o’, y’know?]”

“[Yeah, ‘l’ ‘o’, ‘a’, ‘d’.]”

“[Nononono, like-]”

Twilight, along with the other Spirits of Harmony, were gathered at the Castle of the Two Sisters in the Everfree Forest. Their leave had been in secret to all but her brother and Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining Armour, and his twentieth squadron who had been ordered to go with them. Having protection from the nearby Ursa Major was understandable enough, but when Twilight asked why squadron twenty in particular was sent, Shining had told her that they were the least useful to the war effort. What he had not told her, was that this was because of Sight Watcher.

Not only had Watcher failed to train the squadron correctly, he was frankly a terrible squad leader. His troops were largely untrained, and several were suffering from malnutrition from their poor diets as he would simply not allow them to eat on some days. Unfortunately for Shining, Watcher was in a position making him very safe from being relieved of duty; he was a loose end. While Princess Celestia had suggested “taking him out back and putting him down,” else giving him to her to use as a subject in her secret labs, Shining held strong to his morals and vowed that said morals would never be broken, nor would he ever commit such a terrible act.

Little did he know, he would break this vow before the end of the month, and would do so by committing the greatest atrocity in all recorded history of every civilization in the world.

Due to Watcher was no help to the war preparations, Shining had decided that squadron twenty could be used in more direct ways, such as protecting the Spirits of Harmony, as well as taking them where they wished to go on their secret expedition. They had been taken via a VIP carriage, operated by several members of the squadron. They had left in secret, flown over the Ursa Major nest which had once been Ponyville, sailed over the treetops of the Everfree, and landed right outside of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Twilight and the other Spirits had quickly left the carriage and entered the castle, but Watcher, as usual, was being difficult.

“Men!” He bellowed for the seventh time that night. “I will repeat this again! Exit the carriage one at a time! I must perform a full body inspections of each of you!” Squadron twenty groaned for the seventh time that night.

Inside the castle, the Spirits of Harmony quickly and quietly headed for the lower levels of the castle, lead by Twilight.

We need to search the lowest levels we can find, thought Twilight, keeping their minds connected with a telepathy spell. As I explained before-

Then why are you explaining it again?

-don’t cut me off, Twentydie. As I explained before, we’re looking for a magical crystal. I went deep into my theory about Nightmare Moon collecting them at the club-

Wait, she collected them at a club?

No, when we discussed at the club-

When did we discuss being at a club?

Dammit Pinkie-!

I believe what she means to imply is that the matter of the crystals collected by Nightmare Moon was discussed while we were at the club, Pinkamena.

...Why did you call her by that name?

She’s always been called Nightmare Moon, silly!

No she wasn’t! She was called Princess Luna first!

Well, actually, her very first name was Wre-

Would all of you be quiet?! Silence fell among their minds. Are you all done jumping in?! Are you going to be generous enough to be quiet?! A few seconds passed. Finally!

What’s generous about being quiet?

DAMMIT, PINKIE-!

After a few hours of lugging gold, Cloud and co. finally made it back outside. With no time to waste resting, they soon headed south in search of Gaums.

“So… just straight south?” Cloud asked.

“Yeah,” Do replied, “just south.”

“...Is there... any more to it than that?”

“No, just south.”

The talk died down, and the air was filled only by footsteps and nature. The jungle air was fresh in their lungs, if a little humid, and tasted delicious compared to the cramped, stagnant dust of the cave. The leaves glimmered in the evening breeze-

“It’s just that simple?” Cloud asked. “There are no weird hoops to jump through, so specific roads to take? Just south?”

“Yes.”

“Well… alright then.”

The group continued on in silence once again. Kufn began humming under his breath, then began to bob his head from side to side.

“[Welcome to your life...]”

Cloud grinned. “[There's no turning back!]”

“[I hate both of you...]” Mawr sighed.

“[Even while we sle~ep!]”

Deep in the bowels of the Castle of the Two Sisters, among the cracked brick walls and dusty halls, the six Spirits searched. Most were hasty and reckless in their searching, throwing aside old curtains and furniture without a care. Two were more careful, one of which being Fluttershy with Twilight searching in what appeared to be a lounge, the other one searching deeper inside the castle with Applejack in an absurdly large closet. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were searching a multi-level pantry, which was vertically large enough to connect to a dozen floors of the castle. The castle stretched deep underground, like an iceberg in the earth. The girls had been searching for a solid hour, but had yet to scratch the surface of how far underground the castle’s innards stretched.

As Fluttershy searched what she believed to be an bedroom with enough luxuries to look like a lounge, a particular couch in the corner of a room kept catching her eye. Throughout the room, deep blue decorations were spread. The tapestries, the skirting of the walls, even the handles of the doors were decorated with it. Whoever this room belonged to, they were fond of dark blue. This was all the more reason the couch caught her eye. Another major reason being that such a modern piece of furniture in such an ancient castle was rather strange to her. This couch looked new, modern even. Even as she noticed this, among with other oddities such as the lack of dust, the couch continued to slip away from her mind again and again. It was as if something was draining away her attention to it; like something didn’t want her to pay it any mind… Yet every time she looked away, tendrils of darkness seemed to lick at the corners of her eyes. She looked close, and could see some sort of shape underneath. It was long, and rectangular… it looked as long as a Pony… surely she could realise what it was… it was something… so familiar…

“Wow, this was uneventful,” said Twilight, holding up a magic crystal. Fluttershy snapped out of her trance, and all thoughts of the couch faded completely. Twilight yawned and shoved the crystal into the saddlebags she'd brought with her. “Well, back to Canterlot.”

After briefly gathering the other Spirits, they headed back to the carriage as the last of squadron twenty made it past Watcher’s checks. On seeing the Spirits headed towards him, he turned back the squadron once more.

“Men!” He bellowed for the eighth time that night. “Enter the carriage one at a time! I must perform a full body inspections of each of you!” Squadron twenty groaned for the eighth time that night.

The fellowship of the sing, after a few hours and an album's worth of songs, finally found themselves in a grassy clearing as the day neared dusk. Thinking herself unseen, Do smirked, then quickly tried to hide her excitement. Mawr, sick of all the singing, had long since removed the ears from her male Bison form. In a flash of fire, she returned to her normal form with the boxes stacked neatly beside her.

“[Alright, we're here,]” said Mawr. She stretched out quickly and efficiently. “[Get ready for a fight.]”

“[Wait, how can you tell?]” Asked Cloud. “[Also, why?]”

“[Ms. Do here thought she was being subtle,]” Kufn replied, drawing Riptide and startling Do. “[She thinks none of us noticed the ambush.]”

“[Ambush?]”

A roar from overhead silenced them. A pale blue Dragon swirled around them in the air above them, popping out against the sky stained orange by sunset. It slammed into the ground in front of them, and with a mighty inhale of air…!

“EYYY, WHAT'S UP MAH DUDES!” Screeched Gaums. “HOW'RE Y'ALL DOIN' TODAY?”

Cloud blinked in a disappointed manner. “Oh.”

“Gaums!” Whined Do. “You're supposed to ambush them and kill them!”

“YU KNO DAT'S NAT MAH STYLE, D!” Gaums continued, at the misfortune of all present. “I GATS TUH SCOPE 'EM OUT, YA FEEL?”

Mawr relaxed in disappointment. “This is the worst thing.”

“Ugh… forget it…” Do sighed. “These people want passage to Equestria too,” her voice was devoid of all motivation and monotone enough to rival Maud. “You’ll get more payment because they carried some. Will you take them with us.”

She didn't even pose that as a question, thought Cloud. Wow, good thing I pointed that out and brought a lot of attention to it, else I wouldn't have noticed. I’m so smart!

“AWW SHIET, D!” Gaims replied, flapping a claw at her. “YA KNOWS YA MAIN MAYUHN AIN'T 'BOUT NAHT HELPIN' DEM IN NEEDIN'!”

“[I don't know what's being said and I'm glad,]” nodded Kufn.

“LEMME GRAB ALL O' DAT SHINY SHINE AND WE GON' GIT GOIN'!” To the misfortune and pain of everyone, Gaums began to repeatedly dab on them. “YO YOU PEEPS BE FROM DAT QUESTIA PAD, YEYE? LEMME TELL Y’ALL ALL ‘BOUT MY FANFICTION ON DAT SHIT…!”

Cloud had secured a way back to Equestria, at the low low price of any hope of peace and quiet on the way.

Hard Time

A dark shadow sped across the Celestial Sea, speeding westward towards Equestria. The sky was clear, aside from a handful of cloud to the north, and the winds calm enough to give Gaums no trouble and little turbulence.

On the Dragon’s back was a large, cuboid backpack, its straps hooked under his forelegs. The backpack was constructed from enormous plants in Gaums’s homeland, wicken together to give the look of a large scale version of a smaller creature’s backpack. Though its lid was closed and sealed with a buckle, parts of a blanket big enough for a Dragon spilled out through its lips. Inside the backpack, a very comfy room had been set up. The blanket padded the walls, floor and ceiling, sealing out the violent air of the outer world. Furniture was spread throughout, including a table with chairs around the centre, a couple of bed rolls in a back corner away from the entrance, a compartment the other side of the back for ‘waste’ disposal (accompanied with some sanitiser), a trunk of dry food closer to the entrance in the opposite corner of the bed rolls, and a typewriter with padding glued to various parts atop a writing desk nailed to the floor on the other side near the entrance. At the very back, the crates of gold were stacked. This was the one piece of furniture which didn’t jostle and move about as Gaums flew, aside from the waste compartment. Though stability was an issue, it certainly made sitting at the table an interesting experience.

Though the backpack was massive, the room was quite small considering it needed to house four people. It had been designed in part by Do herself, and she had never expected it to house more than two people at a time. She adventured solo, but she had her dreams. Having four people trying to live in it for around a week pushed the mobile base to its limit, though one of its occupants being a shapeshifter did help. Unsurprisingly, rocks took up little space. As to how in the world Changelings were able to become inanimate objects, let alone rocks of all things, none of the others knew. Whenever asked about it, Mawr refused to answer.

“Victory!” Kufn cheered, slamming down his last card. “[That's my seventy ninth consecutive win!]” Cloud rolled his eyes and dropped the Uno cards in his telekinetic grasp onto the table.

“What's that you ask?” Cloud said to a nearby rock. “How will I win the next game?” Mawr said nothing, as she was a rock. “Sedimentary, my dear Mawr!” Mawr turned back to normal to slap him, then into a rock once more.

Cloud and Kufn had quickly become friendly, and the former had offered the latter a few lessons in Ponish. Kufn had picked up common phrases fairly quickly despite Cloud being a bad teacher. He was far from fluent, but had certainly taken a first step into the language. In turn, Kufn had taught Cloud how to play Uno. Kufn saw this as a fair trade.

Mawr had been largely inactive and secretive as they had travelled by sky. Using the lack of space as an excuse, she had kept the form of a rock for a large portion of the journey. On the first day she started as a potted plant but after not too long she changed into a rock after Cloud had an existential crisis thinking about the implications of Changelings growing fruit in plant-form. Mawr had a terrible feeling that their misadventure wasn’t quite as close to over as the others believed. That said, even if she did agree with the others, she had something she needed privacy to do. Rock-form allowed her the most privacy possible, so in rock-form she stayed.

Meanwhile, across the room, Do sat at her typewriter, mumbling under her breath as she typed up her latest adventure. Inspired by Cloud's idiocy, she had decided to name this latest novel 'Daring Do: The Self-Admiring Sun Shepard and The Lunatical Lime Loser'. Her hooves pitter-pattered across the buttons of the typewriter, accompanied by an occasional ding as she came to a new line. Pages were messily stacked up next to her, already hundreds of pages deep into her story. How she kept it organised was anyone’s guess; every jossle of the room sent the stack flying. With so many days having passed, Do had relaxed some around the others. Despite starting off as a hostage, that position had rather quickly been forgotten about and soon enough they treated her with the same buddy-buddy attitude as they treated each other. Of course, she suspected it was a ploy to begin with but it didn’t take long for her to realise… they were idiots.

For some time, Do had been concerned about the state of the magical artifacts she had been forced to leave behind. While that concern never fully left her, she was at least glad they were in the competent hands of the authorities-

Bravura glanced over the cult’s logs once more before looking again to the stacks of artifacts.

“{Yep,}” he said to himself, “{there’s a bunch of stuff missing.}”

-and this fact was enough to calm her heart. She had settled on the idea of writing as they flew, and time flew with it. She was several chapters deep into the story, though said chapters were only on their first draft. As much as Do liked to be truthful in recounting her adventures, truth was a hard sell. At the very least, details needed to be rearranged - if not for the sake of profit then for the sake of her public image. After all; in this particular instance she would be framed as a villain. It was absolutely necessary that her readers knew her intentions were good… which is why she had switched herself and Cloud.

“...And so she decided to take a stand against the corrupted Unicorn and Horse,” Do muttered, “though she had to convince the cowardly Zebra to join her, for he was too anxious to go alone even knowing about the captive children…”

All of a sudden, a dull glow shone up from the ground.

“...Why is the floor glowing?” Asked Cloud. Before Kufn had a chance to make a comment about context, the room suddenly lurched sidewards and the four were thrown to the ground. “What the hell is happening?!”

“W-we’ve changed course!” Cried Do. “Gaums! What are you doing?!”

Gaums did not reply, and seemed to lean farther and farther to the left.

“[Seems our destination has changed,]” said Kufn, laughing. “[It’’s never a simple job, is it?!]”

Mawr said nothing, as she was a rock.

Princess Celestia ate a slice of cake.

“Yep,” she said to herself, “this is cake.”

Three hours had passed. The room was still crooked as Do’s morality, but everyone had otherwise gone back to what they were doing. Do was using Mawr the rock as a paperweight to hold down her stacks of pages, and Kufn and Cloud had gone back to playing Uno.

“[So…]” Started Cloud. “[You said you were from Scarftown?]”

“[Indeed I am!]” Kufn grinned, playing a green three. “[Saddle Arabia’s one source of neck warmers!]” His grin dropped into a cynical smile as nostalgic anger lit up his eyes. “[And a popular breeding pool for child slavers.]”

“[Well that’s a loaded answer.]”

Kufn snorted. “[Isn’t it just?]” A moment passed, filled only with the distant clicking of Do and the occasional fwip of a card being placed, until… “[Let’s save that story for another time,]” he said with a wink. “[It’s not a story for high spirits.]”

“[Fair enough,]” Cloud said with a nod. He smiled in return. “[I’d regale you with my own ‘tales of valour’, if I could remember them.]”

“[Heh, the gesture is appreciated…]”

The room began to shake again, and sloped forward. Furniture was again toppled, papers were again tossed about, and Mawr was flung to the far reaches of the room. Finally, there was a colossal THUD and the room evened out. They had landed.

The Spirits of Harmony stood agape having just heard the final stages of Twilight’s plan.

“Yep,” she said to her friends, “this might kill me.”

There had been a lot of rustling and shaking as Gaums removed the backpack. Though things were now still, the exit remained closed.

“[...What now?]” Cloud asked. “[Should we go out and see what happened?]”

Do shook her head, and spoke in a low voice, “[I have a bad feeling about this. This is the first time he’s ever changed course while flying me somewhere; he wouldn’t do so without a damn good reason.]”

“[I hear you loud and clear,]” nodded Cloud, “[I’m gonna look outside to see what happened.]”

Do turned to him, ready to spout all sorts of profanity, but stopped as she saw him sit and close his eyes. Slowly but surely, a Shade Circle formed before Do’s eyes. Out of its depths climbed Cloud’s ghostly decoy. It seemed to almost stagger as if it were dizzy or confused before its white eyes snapped open. It looked to Do, sending a shiver down her spine, then nodded. Cloud willed the shade to descend into the ground, and then to move forward. He opened his eyes to see how close it was to leaving the room and then remembered it was underground. He blinked dumbly.

“Oh, right.”

He willed it upwards once more, just enough for its head to be above ground, and then moved it towards the right wall. It was at this point that Cloud realised he didn’t need to watch the shade if it could see. Cloud took a moment to congratulate himself for being such a clever boy. Finally, he closed his eyes again and phased out of the room. He dipped lower, so only the top half of his head was poking out of the ground, and looked around.

The land was arid and dry. The sky was an unpleasantly dull blue, then darkened further by a blanket of smog. The landscape was craggy and mountainous; in the far off distance Cloud could see an active volcano accompanied by glowing tendrils of lava seeping down its sides. Most of the land was stained bittersweet. In the sky dozens silhouettes flew back and forth. Though for a moment he mistook them for birds, a distant roar told Cloud all he needed to know: Dragons…

Cloud turned, and saw the backpack lying on the ground. The landscape continued all around, and there was another volcano off in another direction, this one darker. Gaums was nowhere in sight. Cloud looked skyward, hoping to spot Gaums in the air. No luck. Cloud dismissed the Shade Circle and opened his eyes.

Kufn was playing solitaire with his Uno cards, but looked up as Cloud stood. “[How was it?]” He asked.

“[Cloudy, that’s for sure,]” Cloud replied.

“[You should probably see a doctor.]”

“[...What-]”

The clear sky was littered with stars and filled with an enormous luminescent moon, lighting up the grassy field and making it sparkle against the dew. Princess Luna stood atop a hill, her mane blowing in the wind.

“You are in luck,” Princess Luna spoke aloud. “I’ve had my best set up a camp within the Dragon lands. As an informant, he is…” she clicked her tongue in annoyance, “bothersome, to say the least, however he shall suit your needs as an additional escort.” She turned to face Mawr who stood before her on the grassy slope.

“Very well, ma’am,” Mawr bowed.

“Your reports are worrisome, I must say. This ‘Ra’ you spoke of - if such a plebeian is able to gain powers so easily in this day and age, especially one of such an unmagical race, it is not unlikely more have discovered the power of artifacts.” The Princess paused. “You say you are with Daring Do?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What is your opinion of her?”

“I believe she would make an effective agent, ma’am,” Mawr replied, “though I suspect you would have trouble controlling her. She’s… to borrow your words, ‘bothersome’.” Knows how to show a mare a good time though…

“Why am I seeing images of her sitting on your face?”

Mawr blinked. “...All official work, ma’am, I assure you.”

“If you insist…” Princess Luna shook her head and regained her focus. “One moment, I shall inform the agent of your need.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Mawr bowed again as the Princess vanished. Stupid dreams and stupid reading thoughts, invasion of my damn privacy…

“Yes, but it is oh so effective,” the Princess’s voice echoed in her head. Mawr rolled her eyes. “I saw that!”

Unbeknownst to most, Princess Luna could do vastly more with the moon than simply raise and lower it. While many knew of her abilities as a dreamwalker, few knew how this was accomplished. The proximity of the spell she used was not too large, only spanning about the area of Ponyville. However, by casting the spell on the moon rather than a person, she could use it as a transmitter to extend her reach to all ends of Equestria. This could only be accomplished at night though, and while the ends of Equestria were easily reached, places further than Equestria - such as Zebrica or Saddle Arabia for instance - were an impossibility.

During the flight, Mawr had changed to rock form for privacy and had again and again tried to contact the Princess. She was eventually able to get through, and gave a full report of her journey and current status. Sick and tired of the unquiet journey, Mawr had also asked for assistance now that she was in range of the Princess’s influence.

Princess Luna reappeared. “He already has a visual and is on his way. He shall be with you shortly.”

“Thank you, your majesty,” Mawr bowed again. “Oh, and Princess?”

“Yes?”

“About my promise to the swordsman…?”

“I shall see to it he is paid in full,” Princess Luna nodded sagely.

Mawr smiled. “Thank you, ma’am.” Darkness filled Mawr’s vision as she slipped from the dream and back to reality.

As Cloud finished telling the others about what he’d seen, Mawr returned to her normal form in a flash of flames.

“[Shut the fuck up,]” Mawr said curtly, pointing to Cloud before he could say anything. He frowned. “[You,]” Mawr pointed to Do, “[you need to come with us when we go back.]”

“[What?!]” Do cried. “[Why would I-?!]”

“[Shut the fuck up,]” Mawr cut her off, curt as before, “[you’ve been ordered by the Princess.]”

“[Which Princess?!]”

“[The only one that matters. You,]” Mawr pointed to Kufn, “[I’ve confirmed you’ll be paid the amount I promised.]”

Kufn grinned. “[Goody!]”

“[Shut the fuck up. You,]” Mawr pointed to Cloud again, “[someone’s on their way to meet us shortly so we can get you to Canterlot faster.]”

Cloud’s frown turned from one of anger to confusion. “[What do you mean-?]”

“[Shut the fuck up.]”

As Mawr finished being curt, the ground burst open. All but Mawr quickly adjusted to fighting positions, Cloud lighting his horn, Do cracking her whip, and Kufn unsheathing Riptide. The dust quickly cleared to reveal a brown Diamond Dog with white splotches in his fur as well as a blue Unicorn with a deeper blue mane clinging to the Dog’s back.

“Howdy ho!” The Unicorn greeted cheerily. “You folk must be Mawr and co.! I’m Night Light, and this is Bob, pleased to make your aquaintance!”

Cloud blinked. “Oh.” He relaxed his stance and put out his horn. “Okay.” Seeing Cloud relax, Kufn did the same, though he kept Riptide drawn. Do did not relax.

“State your business!” Do exclaimed, her whip pulled taut. “Or prepare to face the consequences!”

“My my!” Night Light chuckled. Bob’s face remained stoic, his gaze unfocused. “Rather dramatic, aren’t you?” He looked to Mawr. “Shall we be off, then?”

“The sooner the better,” Mawr nodded. “[We’re going with them,]” she said to Kufn.

“[Alrighty,]” Kufn replied. He turned to Night Light with a smile. “Hello! My Equestrian bad, but nice to meet!”

“Likewise!” Night Light smiled back. “[I have little Saddline, but little, will try to clear be!]”

“Thank!” Kufn sheathed his sword.

“Right then, let’s be off!” He tapped Bob’s shoulder and the two vanished into the earth leaving a dark hole behind. Mawr lit up her horn, and shot a look to Cloud to do the same which he did.

“[Let’s get going.]” Mawr climbed down into the hole, and the others soon followed.

A horde of Dragons were gathered within a deep but vast canyon. Their colours and sizes varied, but all were large and ferocious in stature. Upwards they looked, to the top the of the rock wall, where the largest among them sat: Lord Torch. His size was immense; standing at the same height as an Ursa Major. His scales were a dull green, and the underside of his wings as well as the spines on his back a wicked orange. Gigantic horns curved down his face, decorated by bands of gold and platinum. Across his body were thick plates of metal forming a breastplate, and atop his head was a crown of the same metal and rubies. The metal was something of a Dragon creation: Tungsten carbide.

The Dragon lands were rich with tungsten, a rare metal in Equestria. Through a vicious process, the metal could be shredded and pulverised by Dragon claws and combined with various types of itself. One of the combinations was tungsten carbide; a ludicrously strong metal with a hardness close to that of diamonds while also being extremely heat resistant. Though few Dragons cared to use armour, the few that did used this extremely powerful material. Lord Torch was one such Dragon.

The Dragons before Lord Torch were bare of armour, though Dragon scales themselves were not to be taken lightly. Though tungsten carbide could brag a nine and a half on the Mohs scale, Dragon scales could still reach up to eight. Hardly something to sniff at, and far hard than a Changeling’s chitin, which sat at five.

“SOLDIERS!” Torch boomed. “THE TIME HAS COME FOR BATTLE!” The Dragons cheered together; a deafening wave of roars. “THOSE ARROGANT PONIES HAVE GONE ON LONG ENOUGH DEPRIVING US OF RESOURCES, AND NOW EVEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DEFILE MY DAUGHTER! NO MORE! ON THIS DAY, IT IS TIME TO TAKE BACK WHAT THEY HAVE STOLEN; AND MORE! WE WILL BURN THEIR CAPITAL, AND RIP THEIR PUNY PRINCESS TO PIECES!” The Dragons cheered again, but their roars couldn’t begin to reach the volume of Lord Torch’s voice. “NOW, TAKE FLIGHT! WE FLY TO CANTERLOT NOW!”

Dozens of wings unfurled, whipping up windstorms as the hoard of Dragons took flight. Among them flew Gaums, dabbing furiously.

Mawr popped her head out the hole. They had arrived at Night Light’s base. Camouflaged tents were set up all around, and various Diamond Dogs and Thestrals wandered around busy with their own tasks. Mawr quickly spotted Night Light and Bob beside a carriage.

Mawr smirked. “Perfect…” She clambered out of the hole and helped the others following her. She pointed to the carriage. “[Shut the fuck up and let’s go.]” Cloud and Do rolled their eyes and followed. Kufn followed happily. As they walked, Mawr transformed into a Gryphon in her usual flash of fire.

“[You’re flying us?]” Cloud asked. “[I thought-]”

“[I’m more than enough, though you’ll need to refuel me before we go,]” Mawr replied. She glanced to him with a sassy smirk. “[Going by last time, that won’t take long.]”

Cloud blushed and looked away. “[S-shut up…]”

“Here we are then!” Cheered Night Light. He opened the door to the carriage for them. “I’ll be joining you on the way, Bob here’s going to take over for me while I’m gone!” He patted Bob on the head. Bob continued his thousand-yard stare. “He’s excited about it!”

“Alright, give me and him,” Mawr pointed to Cloud with a talon, “about thirty seconds in there.”

Cloud blushed harder and stared at his hooves. He quietly went inside the carriage and then went inside. A few seconds later, Mawr came back out of the carriage looking refreshed.

“Disappointing but filling.” Mawr gave a satisfied sigh. She looked to the others. “Get inside, get him to stop crying, and let’s get going. It’s time to go back to Canterlot.”

Cloud was having the softest of hard times.

Author's Note

DRAGON WAR TIME! WEEEEW! :yay:

The Dragon War

The carriage flew through the darkening sky, coming closer and closer to Canterlot. Pulled by Mawr the Gryphon, three of the carriage's four passengers talked amongst themselves. The fourth, Daring Do, had dozed off and was humming various songs under her breath. The other three - Cloud, Kufn, and Night Light -

“What brings you boys to Canterlot anyhow?” Asked Night Light. “You have any friends or family there, or is it purely business?”

“The former,” Cloud replied.

“The latter,” Kufn replied.

“Ah, you have different goals there?” Night asked.

“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Honestly, I'm feeling pretty anxious. I haven't seen her in so long… I just hope she can forgive me. I miss her so damn much.”

“Ooh!” Night exclaimed, flexing his eyebrows. “An old flame?”

“No no,” Cloud smiled. “A dear friend.”

“I see! How exciting!” Night turned to Kufn. “And you say you have business there?”

“Yes!” Kufn grinned. “Pay for work! Lots!”

“Wonderful!” Night grinned back. “Could be dangerous though, what with the war and all.” He paused. “Y'know what lifts my spirits in potentially dangerous situations? A good bit of singing, especially about what I want!”

Cloud grinned. “Is that so?”

As she finished up a faster song, Do switched to mumbling something slower that the three men recognised.

“Yeah!” Night Light sang in reply.

“I want~ to see her!” Cloud sang. “My friend~ so dear! Her dark~ purple mane! And her big nerd brain!”

“Can't wait,” Kufn joined in, “to get paid! I'm glad~ that I stayed! Might have~ to fight though, but that's how it tends to go!”

“Tell me why!”

“Her coat's a dark violet!”

“Tell me why!”

“Things always get violent!”

“But now we fly!”

“We're gonna get what we want! When we reach Canterlot!”

“WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP BACK THERE?!” Yelled an angry Gryphon.

Night had begun to fall over Canterlot. The sky was dreary and unkempt; the Pegasi weather control division had been ordered to leave it and allow nature to let it become what it wished. In doing so, the sky had become an airborne smoke screen. This would force the Dragons to fly low and stay within visibility of the lookouts at Canterlot. A night-time attack was to expected to be the Dragons’ first assault, which was why searchlights had been stationed around the outer perimeter of the city. Within the city, all streets had been lit up with floodlights. If an attack was to take place during the night, visibility would not be an issue.

The outer perimeter had further defenses too - ballistas had been set up in groups of four near each searchlight. Enormous bolts were set within them, each bolt as long as two adult Ponies. The tips of the bolts were fitted with glass containers filled with a special state-of-the-art potion designed in Princess Celestia’s secret labs. Some time ago, her secret science team had finished development of a potion designed to be hidden within food or drink. When the potion reached the target’s stomach acid, it would activate and become an acid strong enough to destroy a Pony from the inside out. The Princess was well aware of the strength of Dragon scales, and had commanded her science team to create an adapted version of the potion to activate on contact with Dragon scales. A bolt alone would be unlikely to do much - if any - damage, but their modified tips were designed to smash on contact, splashing the Dragons with a potion to wreak havoc on their natural defenses. Each outpost was also supplied with normal bolts, as the chemical bolts were of limited supply. A downside to the chemical bolts was the lack of damage past the acid - while the Dragon would most certainly be weakened and injured, they would be far from dead.

So it was as the Dragon army descended on Canterlot. Fire and bolts were exchanged, but the Royal guard soon realised their greatest folly: Lord Torch was no fool. Three chemical bolts had hit their targets, and Lord Torch had very quickly clocked in on what was happening, even if his understanding was vague. He had flown in front of his army, his gargantuan body shielding them from the bolts and his equally gargantuan breastplate shielding him.

One burst of a fireball was all it took to rip through the city’s defenses. The southern walls came crashing down, leaving a heap of smouldering wreckage and bodies. Their wings strained from the long flight, the Dragon army landed on the south side. Lord Torch now took the rear, allowing his forces to spread like a plague across the almost helpless city. Twenty four Dragons, plus Lord Torch himself, began to quickly rend the city to pieces.

The Royal Guard had another trick up their sleeve, however; their weapons had all been coated in the same chemical mixture. While this would be ineffective for ballista bolts due to their velocity, a sword was perfect. What remained of the Royal Guard’s squadrons rushed to fight the Dragons, but many were slain before completing the rush. That is, except for one…

...Squadron Twenty.

“Dammit, men!” Watcher bellowed. “How many times have I told you to discipline Private Parts?!” The squadron was in the entryway of Canterlot Castle, being forced to perform a roll call by their ever-incompetent leader Sight Watcher.

“Sir!” Private Affair shouted, his face twisted with anger. “With all due respect, FUCK YOU!” Watcher was visibly taken aback - none other than Private Parts had ever been so insubordinate. Private Affair didn’t stop there however… “You are a useless and pathetic excuse for a Squad Leader! You have done nothing to prepare us or yourself for this war, and now the lives of not just us but everyone are on the line, and you keep doing this BULLSHIT! Get the fuck out of our way, and let us go save the lives of the people we care about, you moronic and cowardly FUCKWIT!” Finally, Private Affair spun to face Private Estate. “Estate has been the closest thing to a leader this squadron has ever damn seen, and I speak for all of us when I say, he should be leading us right now!” Affair’s words were met with cheers from the rest of the squadron, save for Estate who looked surprised and flattered at the same time.

A nearby roar snapped them all out of it, and Estate took to action.

“Alright!” Estate barked. “Enough with the social drama, we’ve got a city to protect!” The rest of the squadron cheered again, before following Estate as he ran outside - leaving Watcher standing by himself. A few moments passed before he clenched his teeth in anger.

“How dare they?!” He growled to himself. “After I find Private Parts I’ll have them all hung for insubordination!” Watcher’s wings unfurled with a pomf before he took to the air and flew down the halls of the castle in search of the missing soldier.

Canterlot was quickly coming into view for Mawr, and the sight of the devastation made her sick to her stomach.

“Hey! You three!” She called back to her passengers. “We’re here, and things are looking bad!”

“Copy that!” Cloud called back. “What’s the plan?!”

“We need to touch down as soon as possible and get to the Prin-!” Mawr was interrupted by a ballista bolt impaling her through the gut. Her breath was knocked out of her, her blood ran cold, and her mind went blank.

The carriage plummeted from the sky.

Twilight, along with the other Spirits of Harmony, quickly made their way through the Canterlot backstreets as they headed for the castle. Fire and death surrounded them, and it was all they could do to focus on moving forward. Finally, they reached a place of sanctuary; Twilight’s tower.

In there! Twilight thought to the others. She crashed through the door and the other five followed in silent agreement. She stood by the open door as Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and the other two were safely inside before slamming the door closed. Most of the girls were in too much of a state of panic and shock to speak, save for Applejack who seemed mostly unaffected.

“Why are we waiting here?” Applejack asked. “In here is as dangerous as out there, is it not?” Twilight took a few shaky breaths before attempting to answer.

“T-There’s, uh… Enchantments…” Twilight sat on the ground, trying to hold back the welling tears. “On… on the building… There are enchantments…” She gulped. “I… Princess Celestia let me test out my magic here, so I… She put enchantments here to protect me…”

“Oh!” Applejack perked up, looking around with a smile. “How interesting! This place is a quite a good shelter then, that old bat can do some rather wondrous magic when she puts her mind to it!”

Twilight looked up, confused but too shaken to fully understand. “What… did you call her?”

“Hmm? Ah, the bat, yes.” Applejack nodded. “I’ve begun to slip quite badly, what with all the high tension. Well, no matter. All we need do is get you to a good vantage point - the throne room I’d imagine - so you can continue with your plan. What has happened to App- to me, is of little concern right now.”

Twilight’s gaze fell again. Everything was spinning around in her head: The screams, the distant roars, the danger of her plan, and now something strange with Applejack? She couldn’t focus. What do I do…?

“I…” Twilight realised she was hyperventilating, and took a deep breath before trying to speak again. “I need to get to the throne room. The Dragon leader… He’ll go there, I think. It’s the best opportunity I’ll have to cast the spell…” She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out her magic crystal, its gleam reflecting in her eyes. “The best opportunity to cast ‘Retcon’…” A roar and a crash reverberated from nearby, gleaning a look of impatience from Applejack.

“Yes, yes, drama and such,” she said swiftly. “Now, if we could be moving before this chapter’s end…?”

“Chapter?” Twilight echoed.

“Let us leave the pink and the yellow here, I doubt they will be of use to us as we continue.” Applejack moved to the door and pulled it open. “Come on, come on, let’s go, ladies.”

Though she felt unsure of herself and concerned with... whatever it was that had happened to Applejack, there were more important matters at hand.

“Yes… That… Yeah…” Twilight looked to Pinkie and Fluttershy who nodded meekly. “Okay ladies… let’s go stop a war.”

The smouldering wreck of a carriage lay at the edge of the city. Four figures were beside it, three largely unharmed but one in a terrible state. A fifth figure, realising she had a chance to escape, flew quickly away from the city.

“Shit!” Cloud trembled, staring at Mawr’s bleeding figure. “Shit… Shit!” Her eyes were closed and her body was in a crumpled heap. She was breathing, Cloud could see that, though her breaths were tiny. A ballista bolt had gone straight through her gut, skewering her. Blood pooled from the wound at a slow rate, but Cloud felt alarmed all the same. Off to the side was Kufn, attempting to set his broken hind leg so he could splint it, and beside him was Night Light massaging a fractured jaw.

“Well, I appreciate your-” Night Light stopped to spit blood, “-fast thinking with that magic circle clout there, but next time I’d advise faster thinking.” He groaned, talking being a painful action. “Princess is waiting in the Castle, we need to move. Says your goodbyes to what’s-her-name and let’s go.” Cloud sprang up, a startled look on his face.

“What?!” He cried. “No! No! We aren’t leaving her here! We need to help her!” Before Night Light could reply he was interrupted by a loud grunt and several mumbled swear words. Kufn limped over to Mawr and hoisted her onto his back.

“Right, let us go,” said Kufn, his voice strained from pain. “Need to get her healed fast.”

“No,” growled Night Light, “she’ll only slow us down. It’s a shame she’s dead, yes, but we have more pressing matters right now. Shame the other ran off too,” he looked to the southern skies where he could just make out Do’s silhouette, “but it’s of no matter.”

“Mawr isn’t dead, you fuck!” Cloud spat. Anger burned in his mind, but before he could start to lose control he felt a hoof on his shoulder from Kufn.

“Vote is two to one,” Kufn nodded, giving Night Light a dirty look, “take own advice and hurry.” He took in a sharp breath of air and mumbled more curse words. “Sooner than later, please.” With a few mumbled curses of his own, Night Light complied and began to lead the way.

Before following, Cloud looked at the castle in the distance. I’m finally home, Twilight...

Author's Note

Next chapter will be the final of the first arc - after so many years. It may take a while, it’s gonna be a long one.

The Best Night Ever [1/2]

As chaos and death overtook the streets of Canterlot, Princess Celestia dwelled deep inside her hidden labs. Joining her was Smart Ass, her head scientist, as well as one of her royal guards: Spare Parts.

“You have done well to keep the nuisance contained,” said Princess Celestia, methodically sipping a cup of tea, “though I cannot say I approve of losing a Squadron in doing so. Even still, these are trying times - as I’m sure you are aware. Due to the…” she stifled a smile, “...problematic nature of the Dragon assault, your infiltration duties have been suspended.”

Secret Agent Parts replied with a silent salute, his gaze held forward. Nearby, Smart Ass was hastily fumbling through documents and machinery. After reading through a certain document, he seemed to settle down with a small nod to himself.

“All’s ready, your highness,” said Ass. He levitated a metallic pair of saddlebags over to himself, and then across to Parts. Still using only magic, Ass strapped them onto Parts. “I imagine you’ll wish to do the honours.”

“Indeed I shall,” Princess Celestia nodded. She walked a few steps closer to Parts, leaned over him, and pressed a red button on the apex of the bags.

Parts gasped sharply, his eyes suddenly wide, as needles attached to the bags stabbed into his sides. The gasp became a scream as several more penetrated his spine. His body began to warp and change before the two’s very eyes. As this went on, the bags began their second function, folding out across its host’s body and covering him in layers of armoured metal plates. When all was complete, what stood before Princess Celestia was a creature first of its kind: A mere head shorter than the usually towering Princess, and a bulking body to match, with layers of dark armour cascading down its figure… the first Legion had been born.

“Now then,” Princess Celestia set down her cup of tea, “go kill Lord Torch - and that useless trite you called a leader too, if you see him.”

Wordlessly, the Legion turned to the exit and began its march.

Cloud, Kufn and Night Light rushed through the city streets. Their target was Canterlot Castle, and time was short. If the war alone wasn’t pressing enough, the quickly bleeding Mawr atop Kufn’s back gave them not a moment to spare. Blazes and screams passed overhead. The ground shook, pummeled by the steps of gargantuan beasts. Through all this, only one thought held in Cloud’s mind: I’m desperately close to seeing my dear friend again…

A Dragon suddenly crashed onto the ground in front of them. Cloud gritted his teeth. And nothing is going to stand in my way! Cloud summoned a Support Circle, flying up and ahead to the Dragon’s face. He conjured an orb of water, and launched it at the Dragon - but it was swiftly dodged.

Kufn had tossed Mawr into the arms of Night Light and dashed forward with Riptide drawn between his teeth. He stabbed into the ankles of the Dragon, making it rawr and falter for but a second - the only second Cloud needed. He launched another orb of water, soaking its face and eyes, before blasting away with his electrical beam and frying the beast’s brain. With a blind slash of its claws, the Dragon felt a nearby house and tossed it like a baseball. Night Light lit up his horn and blasted the house with an arcane bolt of dark light, blowing it to pieces.

The Dragon wrenched its eyes back open, intent on mauling its prey, only to see Cloud flying down to Kufn, Night Light and Mawr, wrenching them onto his circle with a telekinetic tug, then whizzing away through the air towards the castle. The Dragon bellowed in anger and took chase. It bulldozed through buildings blocking its path until it leapt and took to the sky, quickly catching up to them.

Night Light held up a hoof, signalling to the others that he would handle it. Turning to face the Dragon, he focused magic and built up a ball of dark light at the end of his horn, turning everything around them a funky, neon colour. He launched it at the Dragon, who scoffed and flew directly into it - only for it to bore into its chest and explode next to its heart. The Dragon’s body fell, crushing a bus stop.

“Flying?” Night Light said to himself. “More like…” He pulled out a pair of sunglasses. “...catch a bus.”

“[Wow,]” said Kufn. “[I once dated a sapient vacuum cleaner, and that one liner sucked even harder.]”

Night Light, not knowing Saddline, nodded in agreement and went for a bro-hoof, which Kufn returned.

“[I’ve never dated an appliance,]” chimed in Cloud, “[but that probably blowed like a fan.]”

Night Light, not knowing Saddline, nodded in agreement and went for a bro-hoof, which Cloud returned.

Cloud and Kufn exchanged a look.

Twilight had finally made it to the castle. Though Pinkie and Buttershy had stayed back at Twilight’s tower, the rest of the Spirits of Harmony had joined her.

The four of them burst through into the entryway and finally stopped to catch their breath. All except for Applejack, who appeared to be perfectly fine and content.

“Here we are,” Applejack purred. “Only a little farther to go from here. So, straight to the throne room, or do we have any other matters to take care of?” She received no answer, as Twilight was too breathless. “Well?” She asked again. “What happens now?”

“What happens now is you give me that crystal!” The four Spirits suddenly found themselves surrounded by Thestrals and Changelings aiming their spears at them. Princess Luna walked from the shadows, a burning righteousness in her eyes. “I warned you, Sparkle, to obey what I commanded of you. I know what you plan, and I will never let that spell see the light of the moon again!”

Before Twilight could reply, Applejack tossed her hat onto Princess Luna’s face, grabbed the closest spear, rammed it into the snout of the soldier holding it and snatched it for herself. She turned quickly, deflecting the strikes of the incoming spears with her own, before burying it in the chest of its original owner.

“This way!” Applejack called, grabbing Twilight and running through the small gap she’d created. Twilight found herself running alongside her before even being able to register what just happened.

Princess Luna threw the hat to the ground with a snarl. “After them, you foals!” The small army obeyed, charging after the duo. Princess Luna turned to the two left behind.

“Oh dear…” Mumbled Gumbeepie. He one joining her said nothing.

“You two are coming with me…”

Cloud and co. reached a high window at the Canterlot Castle. Kufn did the honors of breaking it open with Riptide, and the three men - and the incapacited Mawr - were finally inside. They were in a T-shaped hallway, with three paths before them.

“What now?” Asked Kufn. “What is plan from here?”

“Yeah, this is about the extent Mawr told me,” said Cloud. He turned to Night. “I’d guess find Luna?”

“Princess Luna,” Night corrected him, “and yes, we’re to go straight to her.”

“Cool,” Cloud nodded. “We can get to that after we help Mawr.”

Night frowned. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve only been here once before, but I know this floor is where the infirmary is. I doubt we’ll find a doctor, but we might be able to find a healing potion at the very least.”

“Ugh, fine, we’ll drop her off somewhere, but this better not take too long...”

Author's Note

Night Light's magical element is 'dark light'. He used to be an apprentice at a photography shop in his teen years but the store went out of business when magical cameras were released that act like digital cameras. He met his wife at a part time job at a rave where he was making everything funky coloured.

Until further notice, this is the last chapter. I cannot stay a part of this community in its current state. If I return, I'll continue. If not, I may continue elsewhere, most likely my AO3 account. This chapter was going to be quite long and wrap up the arc, but I just don't have it in me to keep going and I don't want to stay active on this site any longer than I have to.

I'm sad things ended this way. It's been fun.

Goodbye Fimfic.

Friendship is Mediocre - Part 1

It was a bright and sunny day; the eve of the summer solstice and the Summer Sun Celebration. Ponies from all over Equestria were traveling to the small town of Ponyville, as it had been chosen to host Princess Celestia as she raised the sun. It was no ordinary Summer Sun Celebration either, as this would be the one thousandth year of Summer Sun Celebrations. Of course, this was all common knowledge for the citizens of Equestria. Other than it being a millennial occasion, everyone knew that nothing about it was any different than any other year.

They couldn't have been more wrong.

A few miles north of Ponyville, a Unicorn stallion lay unconscious in a field. His body was heavily bruised and his breaths were ragged. Just as it became midday, he slowly opened his eyes. For a few moments he didn't move, as his brain did a hard reboot. After deciding his cognitive state was about as good as it was going to get right then, he uttered a single word to describe his thoughts and feelings:

“Ow.”

He sat up, wincing at the pain from his bruises.

Alright, he thought, where the hell am I? He glanced around.

There was a river a few metres ahead of him, a cluster of trees behind him, a tall mountain with what appeared to be a castle sticking out of the side of it to his left and a distant village to his right.

First things first, I need a drink.

He shakily walked over to the river, lowered his head to it and took a long drink of water. Once he had finished, he took a deep breath and relaxed his body. Okay, next question; how did I get here?

The stallion thought back to what he had been doing before waking up in the field and... his mind drew a blank. He couldn't remember what he had been doing. In fact, he couldn't remember anything other than basic trivia and common sense. Well... shit. That really cuts out a lot of the five Ws.

There are still some facts I could deduce with the evidence around me, he counter thought, the disturbance of the grass, for example. He walked back over to where he was lying when he woke up. The shape of his body had been worked into the grass. It seems I was lying there for some time, at least a few hours. Without memories, how the crap do I figure out what to do next? That's obvious enough; I need to find out who I am.

The stallion twisted his head around to see his flank and quickly spotted his cutie mark. It was some kind of circle filled with odd shapes and symbols. Oh good, my skill is being a confused mess. Those symbols appear to be runes of some kind... Could my talent lie in my magical ability? How could I even test for that if I don't know what an average Unicorn's magical potential is? Fair point, I should test my theory when I have some idea what the average magical strength is. With mode, of course.

Glancing around again, the stallion pondered what his next move should be. It'd be nice to know what my name is. It may be worth coming up with something temporarily until I find out more. Well, I think too much with both sides of my brain, so how about... Cloud Calculation? My head's in the clouds and I'm figuring shit out. Seems fitting enough.

I'm not in the mood to scale a mountain, so I should head towards that village. Agreed. It seems to be a couple of miles away, so it'll take a little while to walk. With bruises like these, I could do with a walk.

Cloud Calculation began walking towards Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle had not long ago arrived in Ponyville to check on preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration as instructed by her mentor and ruler, Princess Celestia. She was joined by Spike, a baby Dragon she had raised during her studies. Their relationship was similar to that of a brother and sister, though, to Spike, it often felt more like slave and mistress.

The two of them were walking side by side towards an apple farm as Spike read through a checklist of things to check that had been listed.

“Summer Sun Celebration official overseer's checklist,” Spike read. “Number one, banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Not the most original name,” Twilight muttered.

As they arrived at the farm, they suddenly heard the sound of someone having way too much fun during their work hours. In Twilight's experience, there weren't many things that could make work enjoyable, and none of those things came cheap. The noise had come from an orange Earth Pony wearing a stetson, running around, kicking trees and looking far too happy about it.

“Let's get this over with…” Twilight sighed as she approached the likely substance abuser. “Good afternoon! My name is Twilight Spar-”

“Well, howdy-doo, Miss Twilight!” The abuser interrupted, shaking her hoof far too enthusiastically for a sober Pony. “A pleasure makin' your acquaintance!” Yes, thought Twilight, definitely an addict. “I'm Applejack! We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like making new friends!”

“Friends?” Twilight asked “No, I'm here to-”

“So, what are you here to do?” Applejack asked, making Spike snicker. Twilight frowned at him before clearing her throat.

“Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration,” she explained. “You're in charge of the food?”

“We sure as sugar are! Would you care to-?”

“Excuse me!” Called a voice. Turning towards the sound, Twilight saw Cloud limping towards them through the thicket of trees. “What town is this?!”

“This is Ponyville,” replied Twilight after waiting for him to be close enough so she wouldn't have to shout. “Are you lost?”

“Something like that.” He stopped next to them. “Do you know where the nearest medical facility is?”

“Medical facility?” Asked Applejack. “Well... there's a hospital down that way.” She pointed deeper into town. “You sick or something?” No point in lying to them.

“I woke up in a field about an hour ago covered in bruises with no memory of... well, pretty much anything.”

“What? Are you okay?”

“I just told you I'm not.”

“Wait, where did you wake up?” Asked Twilight.

“A couple of miles that way,” Cloud replied, pointing with a hoof, “in a field next to a river.”

“Hm... Were there any signs of disturbance?”

“Nothing except where I'd been lying in the grass.”

“Maybe he was dropped there by a Pegasus?” Suggested Spike.

“Possibly, but that-” Cloud suddenly stopped talking when he noticed Spike. “You are a Dragon.” Spike blinked.

“Yes I am.” There was a short silence.

“Alright then. Anyway, I just wanna get these bruises sorted for now, and see if a doctor can help my memory. I'll figure out what happened later.”

“Wait a moment,” said Twilight, lighting her horn, “I know a simple pain numbing spell.” There was a sudden flash of magic from her horn and for just a moment, Cloud was surrounded in a purple aura. It faded quickly and the pain from his bruises faded along with it.

“Thanks,” Cloud smiled. “See you around.” He walked off, less rigid this time towards where Applejack had pointed.

“Anyway,” Twilight said to Applejack, “I need to continue checking on preparations.”

“Are you sure you don't wanna try some of the food we've made for the festival?” Asked Applejack.

“I'm sure it's fine, thank you.” Twilight turned away and walked in the same direction Cloud had gone, with Spike following behind her.

“...Next is weather,” read Spike. Twilight, deep in thought, didn't hear him.

A teleportation spell failure perhaps? No, that wouldn't cause bruising in failure, that would cause dismemberment... Hm... While this is intriguing, I've got more important matters to focus on. Night- Her train of thought was smashed to pieces as she was suddenly blindsided by something and knocked into a puddle of mud.

As Twilight spat out mud, she heard giggling.

“Uh, 'scuse me!” A voice blurted out as she stood up. This is going to be one of those days, isn't it? “Lemme help you!” Twilight looked up just in time to see a cloud be repositioned directly above her and a torrent of water come flooding out, soaking her to the bone. “Oops, I guess I over did it!”

“I don't have time for this,” Twilight grumbled. Lighting up her horn, Twilight teleported forward a few metres, leaving the water that was covering her behind. Unfortunately, her mane was in shambles.

Twilight looked up at the cloud previously over her and spotted a rainbow maned Pegasus lying on top of it.

“Let me guess,” said Twilight with more than a few hints of sarcasm, “you're Rainbow Dash? The Pony supposed to be clearing the sky?”

“The one and only!” Rainbow replied, fidgeting like a toddler on Applejack's happy medicine. “Why? You heard of me?” Yes, definitely one of those days...

As Cloud reached the hospital, his view was suddenly blocked by something very, very pink. Without giving him a second to think, the thing started talking at the speed of sound.

“Hi-my-name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-you're-new-in-town-I-know-you're-new-because-I-know-everypony-in-Ponyville-and-my-Pinkie-sense-told-me-you'd-be-here-so-I-came-over-here-as-fast-as-I-could-but-I-can't-stay-here-for-long-'cause-I'm-setting-up-a-party-for-two-other-new-Ponies-in-town-well-Pony-and-Dragon-have-you-ever-seen-a-Dragon-before-'cause-I-hadn't-until-I-saw-those-two-earlier-and-by-those-two-I-mean-the-Pony-and-the-Dragon-not-plural-of-Dragon-'cause-it-kinda-sounded-like-I-meant-that-but-I-didn't-mean-that-anyway-what's-your-name?!”

I think my brain just melted.

“Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying,” Cloud replied, trying to walk past the pink Earth Pony in front of him, only for her to keep moving into his way. Really? We're doing this? He continued trying to pass her, becoming angrier and angrier as she continued to block his path. As this went on, Cloud's horn began to glow.

“What's-wrong-don't-you-wanna-be-my-friend-I-wanna-be-your-friend-I-love-making-new-friends!”

“MOVE!” Cloud yelled. In his outburst he released the magic in his horn and he suddenly found himself past her and in the hospital lobby. Cloud looked back to see the mare acting confused at his sudden disappearance. I must have accidentally teleported. Good, now I can get on with this. I should be more careful, it's possible I could have more magical accidents if I lose my temper again.

Cloud headed into the hospital, free from Pinkie.

It had taken a couple of hours for Cloud to be properly looked over by a doctor. He was given a simple healing potion which quickly dealt with the bruising all over his body, but the doctor had no idea why Cloud was missing his memories, nor who he was. The only thing he could be certain of was that his memory loss didn't seem to be from anything medicine could help with. Cloud left the hospital after asking for directions to the library and headed there next.

The memory loss doesn't appear to be a medical issue, therefore I should see if could be the next most likely thing. This town isn't huge, so the library might not have the right books I need on memory altering spells, but it's a start. Even if the right books aren't there, I can read up on which town or city is likely to have the books I need.

Cloud's stomach growled as he reached the library. I need to find some food, too.

Upon entering the library, Cloud realised that a party was being thrown. Oh wonderful... It's not as if I wanted a quiet place to read or anything... Cloud's negative thoughts faded away when he realised there was party food free for the taking.

In the upstairs of the library, Twilight was lying on her bed, desperately reading through a book she had brought with her from Canterlot going into detail about the history of Equestria and the legend of the Mare In The Moon.

“Legend has it,” Twilight read, “that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night.” She sighed and gazed out of the window next to her. “I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old Pony's tale...”

A few moments later, the door to her room opened up and Spike came walking in.

“Hey, Twilight!” He exclaimed. “Pinkie Pie's starting Pin The Tail On The Pony! Wanna play?” Twilight sighed again.

“Spike,” she replied in a sombre tone, “if I'm right about the Mare In The Moon, all of Equestria could be doomed to eternal night. I've had no time to properly prepare or research any way to defeat her if she attacks. The best idea I have is a bunch of old relics that nobody knows the location of. Our only hope may be me being wrong, and what's the chance of that? I'm not in the mood to play games now, Spike. I want to be left alone.”

“Aw, c'mon, Twilight!” Spike exclaimed, not taking her seriously. “Even Princess Celestia told you it's just an old Pony's tale! There's nothing to worry about!” Twilight didn't respond. “I know you said you wanted to be left alone, but that Pony from earlier wants to read some books somewhere quiet and I told him he could come up here.” Twilight frowned in confusion and turned around.

“Who are you talking abou- Oh.” Twilight stopped talking when she spotted Cloud standing in the doorway, holding a small stack of books and a bottle of cider in a telekinetic grip.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Thanks again for earlier.”

“No problem.” Twilight sighed and turned back to the window. Spike went back to the party and closed the door behind him.

“I'll be quiet, don't worry.” Cloud sat in the corner of the room and began reading his books.

About an hour later, Twilight became bored of dramatically staring out of the window and looked towards Cloud, who was reading a book about adverse health affects caused by magic surges while sipping at his cider. Twilight frowned. Wait, if he's reading something like that, that means...

“You think your memory loss is connected to something magical?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah,” Cloud replied, “I went to the hospital but whatever happened to me had to have been something magical. There was nothing they could do.”

“I'd theorised earlier that it could be due to a teleportation spell failure, but-"

“-But that would cause dismemberment, not memory loss, yeah. I must have been attacked by magic using person or creature, but something as affective as this would have to be cast by something very powerful. Oh, that reminds me,” Cloud put the book down, “my cutie mark appears to be some kind of magical symbol. Do you have any idea what it is?” He showed her his ass. Rather than taking this as a gesture of something... less than professional, Twilight walked over to him and took a long, hard look at his ass to try to determine what his cutie mark meant.

“Hm... I'm not sure,” she concluded after a few minutes of ass staring. “Those symbols could be runes of some kind...”

“That was my thought process too,” Cloud agreed, pulling his ass away from her face.

Before their conversation about Cloud's ass could continue, however, Spike burst in through the door.

“C'mon, you two!” He exclaimed. “It's time to watch the sunrise!” Twilight let out a worried sigh.

“What's wrong?” Asked Cloud.

“Hopefully nothing,” Twilight replied. All I can do now is hope...

The inside of the town hall was decorated with sparkling ribbons and bows, along with a mixture of royal flags. Cloud, Twilight and Spike were standing at the front of a crowd surrounding a stage. Twilight was talking to - or more accurately, being talked at by - Pinkie Pie. Next to them, Cloud showing Spike his exceptional conversational skills.

“So... you're a Dragon,” observed Cloud.

“Yeah, I'm a Dragon,” Spike confirmed. There were a few seconds of silence.

“Can you breath fire?” Cloud asked.

“A little. It's pretty new to me, but I think I'm getting better at it.”

“Wonderful.” A minute of silence passed.

“If you can't remember anything, how did you know your name?” Spike asked.

“I didn't,” Cloud replied. “I made one up as a point of reference. It's easier than having to explain my lack of memory to anyone who wants to know my name and then having to go through an awkward stage of the pronoun game until eventually we'd just agree on a fake name anyway to make things easier. I just skipped a few steps.”

“Oh. Okay.” Another pause. “Why did you pick Cloud Calculation?”

“I was thinking a lot at the time and figuring shit out,” Cloud explained. “The phrase 'head in the clouds' refers to thinking, so I took a part from that and I took Calculation from the fact that I was figuring things out at the time.”

“So it might not fit you at all, just you at that exact moment?”

“...Maybe.”

A few moments later, a fanfare of birds sounded and an Earth Pony mare walked onto the stage.

“Fillies and gentlecolts,” she announced loudly, “as Mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” Most of the crowd cheered before she continued. “In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this; the longest day of the year! Now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very Pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...”

Twilight looked up at the moon, terrified of being right.

“...Princess Celestia!” Another fanfare of birds sounded and a curtain on a higher platform was opened to reveal...

...Nothing.

Ponies in the crowd gasped in a worried tone and began muttering to each other, voicing thoughts such as:

“Is she late?”

“Those curtains are tacky.”

“Hey, bro, is it just a prank?”

Twilight, however, paid no attention as her heart sunk.

“This can't be good...” She whispered.

A few seconds later, a dark mist covered the platform and, after whipping around, formed into a tall, dark mare with a mane like a midnight sky.

“Oh no...” Twilight whimpered. “Nightmare Moon...”

“Oh, my beloved subjects!” Nightmare spoke to the crowd. “It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little, sun-loving faces.”

“What did you do with our Princess?!” Demanded Rainbow Dash, making Nightmare chuckle.

“Why, am I not royal enough for you?” Nightmare asked. “Don't you know who I am? Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?”

“I did,” Twilight spoke up, “and I know who you are: You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon.”

“Well, well, well, someone who remembers me... Then you also know why I'm here?”

“You're here to...” Twilight trailed off before gulping in fear.

“Remember this day, little Ponies, for it was your last! From this moment forth, the night will last forever!” Nightmare cackled as her mane went crazy, firing out bolts of lightning and churning into a vortex.

“Seize her!” Yelled the mare previously on the stage. “Only she knows where the Princess is!” A few Pegasi royal guards flew towards Nightmare, only to be struck down by lightning.

“Get back, you foals!” Nightmare screamed. The vortex of mane surrounded her and she became one with it. The dark, vaporous mane flew over the crowd and out of the front door.

As the crowd screamed and panicked, there was only one thought that crossed Cloud's mind:

Dammit, now I'm gonna get rickets.

One Hundred and Forty Seven Years Bad Luck

A week after the Ponyville disaster and an hour after his initial awakening, Cloud lay bound to a hospital bed, surrounded by many armed guards, a couple of Goddesses and someone who had previously been his mentor and only friend.

“So,” Princess Celestia snarled, stepping forward, “I heal your wounds and allow you to stay in my private hospital. In response to this, you cause three hundred bits worth of damage and murder one of my personal guards.” She took another step forward. “You, Sir, are an arsehole.”

“Murder…” Cloud echoed, his mind, for once, blank.

“Yes,” Princess Luna stepped to her sister’s side. She bore an odd expression, as if suppressing a smirk. “Murder. In quite an... excessive manner, too.”

“Excessive…?”

“Excessive enough to cause a few thousand bits worth of damage.”

What did the new circle do?

“In one of her reports,” continued Princess Celestia, “Twilight Sparkle informed me of your tendency to, and I quote, ‘lose control of your emotions’.” She tilted her head slightly. “What exactly caused you to ‘lose control’ in this instance, Mr Calculation?”

“Wait, what exactly happened?” Cloud asked, ignoring her question. “I summoned some kind of new magic circle, but I don’t-” Princess Celestia took ahold of the lower half of Cloud’s right hind leg with her magic.

“I asked you a question, Mr Calculation.” She began to lightly pull on the leg. “I expect an answer.”

“Yeah,” Cloud frowned, “but I can’t tell you what happened if I don’t know the aftermath.”

The strength of the pull increased. I see where this is going. Best to cooperate for now.

“I’m the one who trapped the Dragon in the cave.” Cloud was staring straight into her eyes, a hardened look on his face. “I’m the reason it went berserk. Thanks to my actions, Ponies died and a village was destroyed.” He paused and his eyes wandered. “When I saw the guards, I knew I had to get away. Even if you didn’t kill me for what I caused, I can’t find out who I am if I’m trapped on the moon. I…” The reality had begun to set in, and his face showed it. He swallowed. “...I didn’t mean to kill the guard.”

“Yet he is dead,” Princess Luna pointed out, “and his family mourns over his body in the morgue. At least, what is left of his body.” What the hell did I do to him?!

“You certainly did all you could to ensure he died.” Princess Celestia cocked her head the opposite way. “This makes it hard to believe it was accidental.”

Twilight couldn’t take the shame and anger she felt any longer and left the room, shaking her head. Before Cloud could call out in any attempt to stop her, he felt his leg being pulled again. He sighed and continued his story.

“I jumped out of the window and flew away. They gave chase and easily avoided my magic, so I seperated them and tried to fight them with my hooves.”

“You expected to beat a highly trained royal guard, even though you lack any kind of combat training?” Princess Luna asked, sounding sincere.

Cloud looked over to her in confusion and saw her give the quickest of winks. Does she want me to play along? Why? She must have something planned.

“Yes,” he replied, “but, obviously, I was mistaken.” He looked back to Princess Celestia. “As we fought, I summoned a new kind of magic circle. It put us both through immense pain and I blacked out.”

“I see.” Princess Celestia closed her eyes as to appear to be in deep thought about the facts. In actuality, this was merely an intimidation tactic. Though Cloud realised this, he didn’t particularly care as it gave him a moment to think.

So I’ve become a murderer. While the Ponies killed by the Dragon could be blamed on the Dragon itself, this is nobody’s fault but mine, but why? Why would I run in the first place? I’ve clearly shown idiocy the past (the little past I have) but never to this extent - this has to be something else.

Does it really have to be something else? Maybe I’m just in denial… Except I’m not denying anything. It’s my fault that guard is dead. I am a murderer. What doesn’t make sense is panicking at the sight of guards,fear isn’t something I react with very often: When corrupted Goddess attacks, I’m pissed off more than anything. Yeah, something weird happened, but what?

Princess Celestia, while not in deep thought about the facts, was still genuinely in deep thought:

A murder charge! A murder charge! Ohohoho, it’s been too long! Oh, how to punish?! An execution, perhaps? Death for death would make a good excuse for the masses. Or maybe life imprisonment? A little dull, but it would certainly be useful. Oh, I have missed this!

Princess Luna, meanwhile, had sneakily cast a telepathic spell to someone not present in the room. After a quick debate, they wasted no time in finding a trade agreement they would both be up to.

“It seems there is only one fitting punishment,” Princess Celestia finally announced, showing no hint of her excitement. “Cloud Calculation, I hereby decree that you shall be-”

“Sister, if I may?” Princess Luna interrupted. “Since my return, I have not had the chance to make any official punishments for criminals. Surely punishing a murderer as my first would help with those ‘riots’,” she rolled her eyes as she talked, “that have been occurring throughout Canterlot?”

Hidden behind a millennium of practicing hiding emotions, Princess Celestia was angrier than any sane person had the right to be. Here was her sister, the traitor, swindling her out of her chance to cause suffering without backlash with political reasonings she couldn’t dismiss. Oh, how she wished she were powerful enough to have killed her way back when rather than having to resort to using the Elements of Harmony.

“A very logical point, sister,” Princess Celestia nodded at her proposal, “I believe you are correct; this would be good for your public image. Very well, I leave him in your care. Of course, I shall leave some of my guards here, I cannot leave you alone with a dangerous criminal.”

“I believe I shall be fine without your guards,” Princess Luna lit up her horn. “I have guards of my own, after all.” A flash from her horn teleported two of her own guards into the room - a Thestral and a Changeling, both clad in a darker variation of royal guard armour. Rather than holding spears, these guards were wearing specially crafted saddle bags designed to holster crossbows without limiting their wings.

Neither guard seemed phased by the sudden teleportation, both standing to attention.

“...Very well.” Princess Celestia left the room and her guards followed.

Princess Luna waited for a few moments after her sister had left before subtly motioning to her guards with a slight movement of the tip of her tail. The Thestral began searching around the room while the Changeling lit up its horn and looked around as if trying to spot something. After a few moments, the Changeling turned back to the Princess and gave a slight nod. The Thestral noticed this, stopped searching and stood next to the Changeling.

“Okay!” Cloud exclaimed, exasperated. “First problem: Would someone just tell me what happened after I blacked out already?! Second problem: What the fuck is that thing?!” He motioned to the Changeling with his head.

The Princess ignored him as she teleported the four of them away.

The quattro appeared in the upstairs floor of a short tower on the castle grounds. The tower was not dissimilar to a paintbrush in shape and, clearly by the choice of having an outside, unsheltered staircase as the only way to the upper floor, its architects had never heard of a strange phenomenon called rain.

The interior was simple enough; the ceiling was high and the decor was plain, but what would catch your attention were the large bookcases scattered around the room, each packed tightly with books on magic: Magical theories, magical spells, magical artifacts, and even magical drugs. If there was a kind of magic in the world, this tower would contain at least a pamphlet on it.

Unknown to Cloud, this had been the home of Twilight for a significant chunk of her life, up until moving to Ponyville. It had recently become her home once again, as Ponyville had become a little too monster infested for her tastes. If he had known this information, perhaps it wouldn’t have been surprising for him to see, after climbing up off the floor, Twilight herself waiting for them.

“Twilight?” He asked. “I thought that you’d… well, given up on me, honestly.”

“You really fell for that?” Twilight smirked. “Maybe you are dumb enough to do what you did.”

“Dumb enough to do what?” Cloud was exasperated. “Would someone just tell me what happened when I blacked out?!”

“Put simply, Cloud, you killed somepony.” The smirk was long gone, replaced with a look of slight concern. “There were signs of mass electrocution, likely from the new circle you mentioned, but what killed him was the fall. The new circle likely took a massive strain on your mind, especially with a Support Circle summoned already. That’s what caused you to black out, but losing consciousness made both circles shatter from a lack of constant focus.

“The shock from the new circle knocked the guard out too, and both of you fell. The other guard managed to catch you, but… not the guard you were fighting. He was stopped by the ground…”

“That explains most of it, but what caused thousands of bits worth of damage?”

“...After falling through a three story mirror superstore.”

“Oh. Not one of my best moves, on reflection.”

Everyone shot Cloud a dirty look as he failed to suppress a small shit-eating grin.

“Anyway,” Twilight continued as she tried to purge the last few seconds from her brain, “there are things we need to discuss. Very worrying things…”

“What do you mean?” Cloud frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“As you’ve probably figured out by now, it wasn’t like you to react with fear at the sight of guards. I know you, Cloud; you wouldn’t have even considered that you could be in trouble because of the Dragon before eating a bowl of HorseBalls™ with full fat milk instead of skimmed or even semi, you unhealthy f-”

“Stay on topic.”

“Right. The point is, I have reason to believe you were poisoned.”

“Poisoned?” Worry gripped Cloud. “Why? By who?”

“I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but…” Twilight exhaled in sadness. “I believe you were poisoned by…

“...Princess Celestia.”

Author's Note

21 mirrors, if you're wondering about the title. Also, 3000 bits.

The Act of Making a Picture

Cloud woke with a relaxed sigh. Despite how some would complain about sleeping on a sofa, he greatly preferred it over the cage, jail cell, and floor he had become so intimate with. He stretched out, popping his back, before stumbling towards the kitchen. There he found Bravura switching between crunches and squats, all the while slurping a very large smoothie through an extraordinarily long and curly straw. His eyes flicked to Cloud as he entered the room and after finishing the set, he walked over to him with a nod.

“As I explained last night, you’re welcome to stay here for some time,” said Bravura. “Any more than that, however, you will need to work. Many of the townsfolk are… unhappy when it comes to foreigners, but I have plenty of work you can do.”

“More work, huh?” Asked Cloud. “What sort of thing did you have in mind?”

It was a beautiful clearing in the jungle; rays of sun streamed down through leaves ahead, making the dew sparkle in the light. The cries of tropical birds carried through the ocean of trees - a constant reminder to Cloud that this wasn’t the Everfree. The sky was clear of clouds, and a dazzling sapphire blue. It was a sight he could truly appreciate as he lay on his back with a bloodied nose.

“Get up!” Bravura growled.

“No… se.” Cloud giggled to himself as he dragged himself upright. “Always back to this… Always back to this…”

“Focus!” Bravura hurled a punch towards Cloud, only for Cloud to snap into focus, bash the punch aside, grab the foreleg and yank on it hard. Bravura didn’t miss a beat, kicking himself forward with his hind legs to keep his foreleg from dislocating and using the pull from Cloud as momentum to smash the back of his other forehoof across Cloud’s face. Cloud stumbled, but found his footing and shoved his head forward in an awkward headbutt. Bravura grabbed Cloud’s head and twisted as he kicked one of Cloud’s forelegs out from under him. Cloud toppled onto his side with a pained moan.

“Get up!”

“Remind me why we’re doing this?” Cloud groaned.

“I need you on guard duty to protect the town borders.” Bravura pulled Cloud to his feet, but Cloud lay right back down. “Ferret is gone, and my Police force is now down a scout. You’re no good for a scout, and you’re not going to stick around anyway, but I can retrain my officers and you can cover some of their shifts. Long enough for me to shore up their abilities anyway, and gather new recruits.”

“Good job not answering my question while answering my question.”

“I know you have powerful magic, but I don’t want you to vaporise troublemakers. I also don’t trust you to be well trained physically.”

Cloud frowned, feeling genuinely offended. “Well excuse me for not wearing a ‘trained by war goddess’ badge, but I have been trained!”

“No offense, but you are the worst.”

There was a pause as Cloud waited for more of the sentence.

“Wow, actually go fuck yourself.”

Bravura bashed him across the head. “Language! If you lose to me going this easy on you, I cannot trust you to-”

“Oh, well, congratulations for beating a Unicorn after telling him not to use magic!” Cloud stood up, rubbing his head where he had been bashed. “If I used magic, you wouldn’t stand a chance!”

“Is that so? Alright, prove it.” Bravura stretched out his neck before settling into a fighting stance. “I will fight you with forty percent of my strength. Any more would surely kill you.”

“No no, I insist, go all out.” Cloud huffed as he backed up some, giving each of them some space. “Just let me know when you wanna give up.”

“Very well.” Did his eyes just light up slightly?

Bravura kicked off from the ground, launching himself towards Cloud like a missile, only to be stopped dead by a telekinesis spell. Cloud smirked, but quickly stopped as he noticed Bravura’s muscles bulge. Like tearing off a net, Bravura forced his limbs outward and smashed the spell. A pang of pain shot through Cloud’s mind as both flavours of his thoughts screamed questions. Bravura kicked off once again, but his fist connected with empty air as Cloud used a Support Circle to fly backwards and make distance between them.

Bravura grabbed a small chunk of dirt and hucked it like a bullet. With no shield spell to use, Cloud blasted the dirt bullet with a magic bolt. The dirt exploded, filling Cloud’s eyes and lungs with a smokescreen of earth. Coughing and spluttering, Cloud’s Support Circle shattered with his focus. He had blinked just enough dirt out of his eyes to see the vague shape of Bravura flying towards him yet again with a punch ready to blind him a second time. In a moment of desperation, Cloud summon a Shock Circle onto his own face. Bravura’s punch connected, but while he had planned to slam Cloud’s head into the ground, he was unable to thanks to the electricity coursing pain through his body. Unable to bear the pain, Bravura screamed and fell to the ground. Cloud fared no better as he was sent sprawling from the punch.

Neither stallion moved.

It was nearing night now, and the two had returned to Bravura’s home. Cloud was sporting a very black eye covered with a magical ointment designed to simulate the effects of a bag of peas, and Bravura’s right foreleg had been bound with a pair of sturdy pieces of wood to keep it in place. They lay on the ground, sipping at healing potions through curly straws, neither speaking nor looking at each other. If the atmosphere were any saltier an onlooker would swear they were sailing the Crimson Sea.

“So it was a draw then?” Asked Cloud, finally glancing at Bravura.

“You were trying to disprove my assumption that you would vaporise troublemakers,” Bravura replied without even bothering to look at him. “You did this by vaporising the tendons in my leg.”

“But I also defeated you with magic, which you refused to believe I could.”

“We were both mistaken in our own ways. However, my point now stands for itself, so I believe that means it was my victory.”

“But I beat you when you said I couldn’t,” Cloud chimed in, “so I proved my point.”

“Yes, but-! While we were both successful in proving our points, we also both failed to realise our own shortcomings.” Bravura closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Your movements were very rigid, but you were able to do well with a spur of the moment idea. Perhaps it is something I should learn from.”

“...So it was a draw then?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

Princess Celestia sat in her secret laboratory within Canterlot mountain, slowly making her way through a pile of brownies.

“Boy, these Dragons sure take their time,” she said, spitting pieces of brownie everywhere. “Good thing nothing important is happening, or nobody would be here to eat these brownies.” She nodded to herself, before shoving another brownie in her face. “Not that I would deal with it anyway.” She swallowed, then shoved in another two and went right back to chewing.

Author's Note

Life had me busy for a while there, but we're back, baby~