//-------------------------------------------------------// The Great Lagiacrus -by LoneRanger- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Where In The Sam Hell Am I //-------------------------------------------------------// Where In The Sam Hell Am I   I felt warmth. I heard waves and the cries of seagulls. "What the hell did I do last night at that party?" I tried to say but heard a roar came out of my throat instead. "What the hell happened to me?" I got up and noticed something I was taller than before. I noticed I was on a small deserted island. I walked over to the shore and looked  down to see my reflection. I didn't believe it not only was I a Lagiacrus but I was the legendary abyssal Lagiacrus. "Sweet Jesus Christ" I thought this was a blessing in disguise.            I noticed a small ship in the distance. It looked like a ship from the 1700 hundreds and yet also like it was a royal ship . But it was smoking like it was attacked. Without thinking I started swimming toward the ship. It was definitely a royal ship. No normal ship has that much gold trim normally. Smoke rose from the ship as fire was blazing wildly. I raised head out of the water crocodile style. " I never thought I would die this way. " A woman said.  A second one said " Nether did I sister." "Well at least I die with my family." A now third one had said. "We will not perishe here niece  Cadence." The one from early said.   I heard enough I sprung into action. Blasted up out of the water raising my head above the ship. I let out a large roar in the process. Looking down to the ones who were talking they were human like. One was white, one was a blackish blue like me, the third was pink. They all had horns and wings. There manes were different colors. And they had some weird  tattoos on there rumps. I had noticed the white one the tallest of the bunch had fainted. I knew they thought I was to kill and eat them. I reached over to pick the pink one up by here dress. She fought and hit my snout, "Let go of her serpant!" The blackish blue one yell at me while fired a wierd blue bolt of some kind it just bounced of my skin. I moved the pink on over to my back and carefully placed her down. She gave a confused look but I moved to pick up the one that had fainted. The blackish blue still fought me as I picked up her sister I was guessing at this time. She grabbed onto the dress her sister was wearing g and I pulled her up to. And carefully placed them on my back carefully to avoid my electric spikes.     I had all of them on my back and noticed a different island in the distance. It was covered in trees answer looked to Co tain edible vegitation. I guess they were omnivorous they looked human enough. I arrived at the shore and let them off except the white one. I picked her up and lifted her up of my back and onto the beach. I started to gather stickes to make them a fire because the pink one started to shiver. The blackish blue one and the pink one gave me a curios look and stared at me. I put the sticks in a pile and used some one of my electrical attacks to light a camp fire. I was still untrustworthy to them. It was late and I payed down by the fire. I circled around the fire shielding them from the wind and any creatures that might try to attack them. //-------------------------------------------------------// Kecha Wacha Meat Is Tasty //-------------------------------------------------------// Kecha Wacha Meat Is Tasty I awoke to the sound of something sizzling. I didn't open my eyes but could smell eggs cooking. I open my eyes to see the white one who had fainted yesterday cooking eggs while the two others cuddling up to my tail. She noticed me awake for my slumber. "I my name is Princess Celestia and want to pearsonly thank you for saving my sister, niece, and me." She had said then plated a kiss on my snout. I gave off a slight blush. She noticed this. "There is something special about you Isn't there.?" Celestia said. I got up carefully not to wake her niece and her sister. I went over next to her and wrote in the sand. Can you give a voice? I wrote in the sand. "Yes I can with magic." Wow first me being abssaly Lagiacrus now there is Fucking magic. I guess she searched my mind to find my original voice. "There it is" She had mumbled. Then my throat was surrounded in a golden aurora. My throat became sore but I decide to try and talk I decide to sing a song. I wonder how it would sound since my voice was so deep. That song is Whiskey in the jar by highywaymen. " As I was going over the gillargar mountains. I saw caption Farrell and his money he was counting.    First I though my pistol and rattle fourth my sabre saying stand and deliver for I am your bold receiver. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o there's whiskey in the jar. He counted out his money it made a pretty penny I took the money how and it gave it to my Jenny. She cried and she swore That she would never deceive me but the devil is in the women and it never will be easy. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o. There whiskey in the jar. Early in the morning between the hours of six and seven. The gaurds were standing round me in numbers of Odd even. I flew  to my pistols but alas I was mistaken for Jenny Wet the powder and prisoner I was taken. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar I think I'll find my brother the one that's in the army I don't were he station Is it corcork or kalagey. Together will go rolling in the mountains of kill Kenny And I dare hell treat me fairer then My darling thwarted Jenny. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar. Some the delight in fishing and the Bowlin, others take delight in Carrige rollin.But I take delight in the juice of the barley or courting pretty girls in the morning so early. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar. Let's sing her one more time. Whoosh a riggem do da. Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, wells there's  whiskey in the jar."   I didn't even notice the other two female were awoken by my singing. "What are your names?" I asked the newly awoken. The pink one was the first one to tell me her name. "My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. And I want to thank you fore saving us." She had said then planted a kiss on my snout. What is with the snout kissing I thought. The blackish blue one was next to speak. "And ours serpant is Princess luna!" She practically bellowed out in a royal voice. "Aah me Fucking ears are bleeding!" Then a loud sound of a twig snapping forced all of our attention to the jungle on the island. I forgot to mention it had a jungle.        What I saw next was a Kecha Wacha coming out of the jungle to investigate Lunas shout. I heard a loud rumble come from my stomach. The Kecha Wacha lower her ears and launched at me. I launched toward the Kecha Wacha. He swung his right arm to strike me with his claws. I bit down hard on its arm hearing a late crunch noise come from its now broken arm. It screamed in pain as I brought my jaws down onto his head bit hard as I could. Hearing a loud Crack and the Kecha Wacha going limp. My breathing was heavy. Blood dripped from my jaws. "Do you guys eat meat?" I asked the Cadence, Celestia, and luna. "No the closest thing is eggs that we eat." Celestia said in a calm matter. "Oh ok" I said dragging my kill by the camp fire to eat. I bit a chunk of flesh off and swallowed it. "What??" I said getting disgusting looks from the princess." Hey don't Fucking judge me you vegans. And besides it takes like chicken to me." Getting even more disgusting looks from the princesses.