Conversion Zebra

by Alex Warlorn

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1312

One trans-species zebra tells his state of things after his visit to the Conversion Bureau.

An excerpt taken from the online blog of Ryan, a trans-species zebra after his visit to the Conversion Bureau. And his own views on the stereotypes, misconceptions, following the reality crash between Earth and Equus, and the release of deadly energy that forced the human race to adapt.

Published 2017-01-10 07:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-10 07:10:01 UTC

A new Zebra's point of view

Hey, welcome to my blog, my name's Ryan, and I'm a zebra. I wasn't born one, I used to be human, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, and I'm not afraid to admit to being a trans-species Zebra.

And before you ask, the whole rhyming thing is a learned culture trait, and I'm still a New Yorker with Irish and German ancestry and proud of it!

Call me a 'new foal' and I'll punch your lights out. I'm not here to tell you a story with a real beginning, middle, or ending, I'm just here to tell you how things are from my point of view. There are plenty of trans-ponies who thought losing their fingers and getting a tattoo on their butts were going to make their lives better, other accept what had happened was a disaster and it was treated like one.

Yeah, one day I went down to the conversion center, filled out the paperwork, and downed the potion, and boom, goodbye fingers, hello stripes.

Ugh. This BS again? Fine! I am VERY certain I am NOT a new personality that happens to have the real Ryan's memories, I had to prove legally I was still me to keep from getting slammed with inheritance tax to myself! Jackasses should have paid for my phycological examine,oh wait, that's prejudice now isn't it?

I'm no longer a predator, I'm a prey, that might mean I'm more prone to flight rather than fight, but backed into a corner... everything else can just switch off and you'll go THROUGH anything or anyone to get away. Learning to balance these new instincts and making up for the ones you lose is what part of that help afterwards is meant to be for, not to brainwash anybody into thinking sun-butt is the best thing ever!

Are we REALLY gonna do all this? If it'll stop with the rude looks. I was confirmed catholic and I'm still Catholic, I do NOT worship queen sun-butt nor whatever goddess natural born Equestrian Zebra have! I still enjoy a good hamburger! I can still swear. And if you ask if I'll just do whatever I'm told like a good 'zombie newfoal' then I'll punch your face in!

A freakin' WEEK after I converted I had a natural-born unicorn mare tell me that I was a soulless zombie with no will of my own and the kindest thing to do would be to 'put me down' and free me from my fate as a 'corpse puppet.' I always watch my back now.

As long as we're shattering fantasies, let me shatter some of yours. First, the Human Liberation Front, HLF, are a buncha racist lunatics no different from the KKK. They're NOT some heroic if slightly misguided people doing what must be done to save the human race.

And BEFORE you get started the Ponification for Earth's Rebirth, PER, are JUST AS BAD! There was a teenage girl who'd signed up to become a dragoness, and they ambushed her, and use a pegasus potion on her... Her first act with her new hooves was to break their bones. Her second act was to sue'em for damages and have them arrested! And since a body can only take the potion once in a lifetime, she'd never be the dragon she WANTED to become! They're a bunch of people who see human beings are garbage who need to be disposed of anyway, they were part of 'Will Never Have Children' groups, PETA, you name it.

Oh, did ya hear? A trans-species pegasus got into a hoof-fight in a bar in Cloudsdale, apparently it was a debate over the Equestrian creation myth verses their origin according to greek mythology. And a new pony selling bacon in Ponyville caused a scandal.

And there are the ponies who have converted to Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Buddhism, Hindu... funny how you never hear about those in the news huh?

I think what REALLY confused the paranoids is sun-butt didn't delcare those places now irradiated by Equestrian magic (let's not mince words, it is irradiated) were suddenly part of Equestria, not was it part of Griffinstone, Diamondia, Labrynthus, Zebrabwe, The Black Hive or The Rainbow Hive, United Buffaloo Tribes, Oukoku-Ryu, etc.

If anything, the worst heat Celestia has been taking is from her own people for the amount of bits she's been pouring into helping converting human technology for hooves, and producing enough of a potion for 8 billion people. That really drains the coffers.

But that was when the other nations on Equestria caught wind, they quickly got in on the act, and suddenly, ponies weren't the only thing humans could become. Sadly, things with the minotaurs... the less said the better.

And just one thingie, the Veil is just a name. It's not a literal magic wall. Firing artillery at it just makes the bombs go THROUGH it. It's like firing cannons at Chernobyl isn't going to make the radiation go away. So I really wish idiots and lunatics would stop thinking they just needed a big enough explosion to make Equestria go away. ... A lot tried. Thankfully, sun-butt was pretty understanding about firing an atomic bomb at her country. But the surrounding kingdoms weren't exactly happy. Never mind the sniper who tried to assassinate Prince Shining Armor and the sniper was dragged away screaming that the sniper was hero.

So why a zebra? Suffice to say, I've always liked Zebras. Okay, they weren't my favorite animal. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd always found them beautiful. Don't think I'm stupid, I knew they were dangerous like any wild animal. But I liked them.

I had a friend who became a buffalo. Guy said he 'wanted to get back to his roots.' No comment.

Like I said, I wrote this blog just to give my view on things. Not to tell a beginning, middle, or ending. Just please, stop thinking because I wasn't born a zebra that I'm somehow a zombie, or that my life is somehow 'better' than before. I did this to survive, not for a 'better life', I did what life is supposed to, I adapted.

Princess Twilight Sparkle says she has access to another universe were another species of humans evolved, but with a slew of differences, like a whole ton of brightly colored hair and skin, and apparently a lot of human versions of ponies. Princess Twilight said keeping it hidden now felt kinda meaningless. She's now negotiating with humans of our world coming to THAT human world... even if it means having to become a pony to actually USE the portal. Maybe I'll sign up there... just kidding. I don't want to abandon Earth just because it got flooded with a new type of energy that proved deadly to humans of our universe. I guess that's why lots of people chose.

There ARE those spending trillions of their fortunes to establish little space colonies in the few years Earth has got left... well, good luck to them, but Earth is my home, it's where my family is too, and I'm staying here, even if it means I've got to wear fur and lose my fingers.

Oh yeah, fur, I kinda gotta admit, with fur, clothes are kinda gratuitous, I never thought I'd be a nudist, but there ya go. I went around with a bathrobe for a while, since that at least didn't overheat with the fur. Okay, maybe I was looking for an excuse on that one, heh.

Thanks for readin' this blog entry to the end. Made a good excuse to test out my 'speech to text' program, it was actually cheaper than those new keyboards that they're working on. Hope you walk away from this enriched than impoverished. And whatever choice ya make, good luck.