Rainbow Dash brought her head up from her fourth time rereading Daring Do and the Trident of the Seaponies as she heard her doorbell ring.
“Coming!” Rainbow shouted, dog-earing the page she was on and throwing the book aside. She rolled out of bed, casually gliding downstairs and opening the front door.
“Heya there, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said. “Come on in!”
“Thanks,” the Princess of Friendship replied in a subdued voice. Rainbow Dash noticed, but didn’t comment on it; she’d been able to guess that there was something on the alicorn’s mind, otherwise she wouldn’t have specifically arranged a meetup at Rainbow’s place.
Twilight stepped inside, following the pegasus into her den. “Just take a load off on the couch there, or anywhere, I don’t mind. Do you want anything to drink? I got some pizza on the table there, it’s still warm I think.”
“Er, no, I’m fine.” Twilight sat on one of the cloud chairs, idly playing with the wisps that were fraying off one of the hoofrests.
“Alright then.” Rainbow settled into the couch in Twilight’s stead with a glass of water, grabbing a leftover slice of half-mushroom, half-olive and taking a bite.
Despite Rainbow’s efforts to exude a casual atmosphere, however, she could tell that it hadn’t alleviated Twilight’s anxiousness in the slightest. Rainbow sighed through her nostrils and swallowed her mouthful of food. “Fine, I can tell it’s something big, so go ahead and drop it on me. I’m ready for it.” She grinned at Twi, hoping that her eagerness to hear her friend’s trouble could put her at ease if nothing else.
A small, forced smile came over Twilight’s face, but it vanished just as quickly. “This... this is really hard for me to say. It’s a very personal matter. I haven’t told anypony else about it…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m really, really scared.”
“Hey,” Rainbow offered, “it’s okay to be scared. Even I get scared sometimes, but that doesn’t matter, because it’s not about the fear you feel, it’s how you act despite that fear. Right?”
Twilight winced. “R-Right.” She took a deep breath, and exhaled. “I mean... Rainbow Dash, we’ll always be friends, right?”
Now Rainbow Dash was worried. If Twilight was afraid that she was risking her entire friendship over it, it had to be serious. “You shouldn’t even need to ask that question. I mean, have you forgotten who I am? Element of Loyalty and all that?”
Twilight closed her eyes, breathing in deeply again. “Yes, I know. That’s why I came to you first, because I felt that I could trust you more than anyone to keep an open mind about this. But I really need a promise that you’ll be my friend no matter what.”
Rainbow Dash put down her half-eaten pizza slice, sitting up straight and giving Twilight her undivided attention. “No matter what, you’ll always be one of my best friends. I promise.”
The house was quiet for nearly a minute, with Rainbow not budging from her seat and Twilight staring at the white floor, breathing deeply. The ticking of the clock on one of the walls grew thunderous. Finally, the alicorn licked her lips and said:
“Rainbow, I’m gay.”
Several emotions ripped through Rainbow Dash’s mind: surprise at the reveal itself, pride that Twilight would trust her so much to come out to her, happiness that Twilight had discovered herself, slight disappointment it had been something so simple about her when possibilities of crime and murder had flitted through Rainbow’s mind.
“Oh,” Rainbow said numbly, trying to recover from her mind going in multiple directions at once.
“I like girls, I’ve always liked girls, and it’s a part of who I am. I’ve tried not to, I’ve tried dating stallions, and they can be nice, but it’s never more than that, just nice. I don’t feel anything for them.” Twilight averted her eyes, looking at everything in the room but her friend. “Denying it only made me feel more and more miserable... I tried to make the feelings go away, and bury them under books and studies, but they never left. They just kept haunting me, clawing at me until I finally said something to somepony, anypony. I know you probably think I’m a freak, or sick, or wrong, but-”
Twilight stopped, her head twisting to look back at Rainbow. “What’s so funny?!”
The pegasus had a hoof to her mouth and was struggling not to let her snickers erupt into full-out giggles through her clenched teeth. After a second, she managed to calm down. “I’m s-sorry, Twi, it’s just- here, wait a second, I’ll show you.”
She zoomed up to her room, flew up to the top shelf of her closet, rummaged around a bit, and came back with a large photo album. “Here,” Rainbow said, and opened it up in front of Twilight, riffling through the pages until she came across a decent-sized picture.
She smiled as she saw her filly self, grinning from ear to ear as she stood in front of Cloudsdale Flight school. Her dad was on her left, giving a kind smile to the camera... and her pops was on the right, a hoof draped over his daughter’s back.
Rainbow looked up at Twilight, who seemed dumbfounded. “See? That’s dad, and that’s pops.”
“Y... You have two dads?” the alicorn looked blankly between the rainbow-maned pegasus in front of her and the rainbow-maned pegasus in the photo.
“Yep!” Rainbow Dash chirped. Twilight let out an oof as Rainbow hugged her, the two squishing against the cloud surface of the chair. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times; I never leave my friends hanging. If you’re gay, Twi, I’m totally okay with that.”
Twilight’s forelegs slowly moved to return the embrace. “T-Thank you, Rainbow Dash. Thank you so much.”
The two friends sat there, comfortable in their hug, for several minutes in a silence only punctuated by Twilight’s sniffles. Rainbow Dash patted her on the back, but otherwise said nothing. Twilight finally separated, and Rainbow returned to her couch.
“So,” Rainbow said after Twilight had dabbed away the tears in her eyes, “you said I was the first pony you’ve told. Why me?”
Twilight cleared her throat, a tinge of a voice crack audible within. “Well, I had to pick somepony to tell first, and you rated highest overall according to my criteria.”
“Criteria?!” Rainbow couldn’t help but scoff, but immediately felt bad. “Sorry Twi, I know it’s important to you that you tell the right ponies, but... that’s a real egghead thing to do, even for you.”
A giggle broke through Twilight’s sincerity. “I know, it’s really dumb, but I didn’t know what else to do. When I tried to just pick someone on my own, I kept second-guessing myself and convincing myself that it would turn out awful.”
Rainbow nodded. “When do you plan to tell the others?”
“You mean Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy and everypony?” Twilight grimaced. “I’m... not sure. It took me months to finally muster up the courage to ask if I could come over to your house to talk about it, and I was mostly motivated by the desperation to finally be honest about it to somepony. It helped too that I felt that coming out to you had the least danger of things taking a turn for the worst. I don’t know how long it’ll take before I’m ready to come out to somepony like Rarity, or to Applejack. And I don’t even know where to start with my family. How are my parents going to react? How... how is Shining Armor going to react? And Cadance? And Celestia?!”
Rainbow Dash put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, calm down. You’re still Twilight Sparkle, right?”
Twilight sniffed. “Yes, as far as I know.”
“The same pony who’s saved Equestria how many times? Six? Whatever?”
A small smile broke on the Princess of Friendship’s face. “Yes.”
“Did you suddenly stop becoming Twilight Sparkle, just because you’re gay?”
The smile grew wider. A hiccup of laughter escaped Twilight’s mouth. “No.”
“Then what are you worried about?” Rainbow Dash clapped her hoof on Twilight’s back. “And if you’re still afraid, then I’ll back you up. If anypony has a problem with it, they’ll have to answer to me. And that goes for whenever you feel like coming out to anyone else. If you need me, I’ll be right by your side.”
Twilight’s smile wavered, but didn’t disappear. When she spoke, her voice trembled. “You’re the best friend a pony could ask for.”
“Pssh.” Rainbow waved a hoof despite her ego feeling well-stroked. “Nah. You’re more than deserving.”
They shared smiling faces, and it wasn’t long before the two just started talking to each other about nothing in particular.
After a good amount of time had passed, Twilight finally checked the clock on the wall. “Oh goodness, it’s a lot later than I thought it was. I had planned to stay a decent length of time, but I think Spike and Starlight will start to worry if I’m not back soon.”
“That’s okay,” Rainbow replied, stretching from where she was lying on the couch. “I probably should head out and practice a couple of hours anyway. Now that I’m in the Wonderbolts, I can’t afford to shirk. Thanks for coming over, Twilight, it was fun to talk.”
“Likewise.” Twilight hesitated a moment. “Um, Rainbow, please don’t take this the wrong way, but another reason I came out to you, well, really more of an improbable possibility, was because you seemed like you might be, er, you know, but since your parents are, I was just wondering...”
“What, if I’m gay myself?” Rainbow chuckled. “Nah. My parents are gayer than a Coltifornia pride parade, but I’m straight.”
Twilight nodded. “Again, thank you. I was preparing for this to be either the best or the worst decision of my life, and I’m so happy it turned out to be the former.”
“Glad I could help. So, you wanna tell Fluttershy tomorrow?”
Twilight froze. “T-Tomorrow?!”
“Sure, why not? If you’re so worried about taking forever to muster up the courage to do it, then best to get it over with, right? I mean, you do want to come out to everypony eventually, right?”
The alicorn stuttered, her eyes darting around frantically. “Oh, uh, uhm, I-I don’t know, I’m not even prepared, it took me a week to memorize my coming out speech and the various responses to potential questions that I’d drafted, and I’d planned to tailor them to each pony I came out to, ohhh I’m not ready for this-”
“Okay, okay!” Rainbow shouted, waving her hooves in an attempt to calm Twilight down. “Fine, maybe not tomorrow. But you don’t need to memorize a speech. I told you, I’ll be there.” Rainbow pursed her lips in thought. “Maybe... next week then, you come out to Fluttershy? I’ll be there too, promise.”
“I...” Twilight sighed. “You know I don’t like just rushing headlong into things, that’s much more your style than it is mine, but... maybe you’re right this time. Just get it all over with so I don’t have to feel like I’m living a lie any longer.”
“So...”
“Next week.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure that by then I’ll be capable of saying coherent sentences, at least.”
“Oh goodness oh goodness oh goodness oh goodness-”
“Twilight, stop,” Rainbow chastised as the two walked along the path that led to Fluttershy’s cottage. “This is Fluttershy we’re talking about. How in the world can you possibly think this could go wrong?”
She immediately regretted her comment when the Princess of Friendship whirled on her, panic and fear shining in her eyes. “She could think I’m a freak of nature and never want to talk to me again and tell her animal friends to keep me away from her and she could be scared of me and stop being friends with me and-”
Rainbow’s patience with Twilight’s fantasy wore thin and she shook the mare with her forelegs. “Twilight, listen to yourself! This is the Element of Kindness! This is the pony who gave Discord a second chance! Don’t you think she’d be more than a little open-minded about something like this?”
Twilight’s mouth worked, but no words came out, until she finally groaned. “I’m sorry. I’m just terrified that it’s going to turn out terrible. I wanted to come out to my friends privately, one at a time, so that maybe I could keep control of the situation if somepony didn’t understand, but maybe this is all just a bad idea.”
Rainbow opened her mouth to object, but her words died on her tongue and she growled in frustration. She had heard some variation on “this is a bad idea” constantly throughout the past week as Twilight had planned in secret with Rainbow Dash on how exactly to go about coming out to Fluttershy whenever Spike and Starlight were out. Although “worried” was probably a better verb than “planned,” really, considering how it mostly consisted of Twilight fretting about worst-case scenarios and Rainbow frustratedly insisting that she needed to calm down.
“You can’t give up now,” Rainbow said, hooking a hoof around her neck as they approached Fluttershy’s door. “I told you, I’ll be here, and if Fluttershy can’t put her trust in either of us, then... well, that just won’t happen.”
The two finally came to a stop in front of Fluttershy’s house. Twilight gulped. “I’m still really scared. M-Maybe we could reschedule? Next month, maybe?”
“Give me one good reason why Fluttershy wouldn’t accept you for who you are.”
“B-Because!”
Rainbow rolled her eyes and knocked on the door. “You and I both know that’s not a good reason.”
Twilight let out a whimper behind her lips.
A few noises leaked from Fluttershy’s cottage, and the door creaked open a centimeter. “H-Hello?”
“Hey, Fluttershy, it’s me and Twilight,” Rainbow replied coolly.
The door swung the rest of the way open, and Fluttershy peeked around the entrance. “Oh, what a surprise! Come right in.”
Rainbow Dash took a few steps inside before rolling her eyes and turning around to grab Twilight, who was only beginning to move a hoof forward. “Fluttershy, Twilight has something important to tell you.”
“Important?!” a male voice echoed throughout the house. Discord appeared in a flash of light. “I love learning important things about my friends!” Discord scratched at his goatee. “That is one of the many parts of friendship, right?”
“Yes, Discord,” Fluttershy said, trotting to her kitchen. “Do either of you girls want anything?”
“No, I’m fine,” Rainbow said. Twilight hummed a decline.
Fluttershy emerged from the kitchen and perched on a chair beside her coffee table. “Well, what do you want to tell me?”
“Yes, I’d like to know as well,” Discord added, slithering onto the sofa. Both Twilight and Rainbow grimaced.
“Er...” Twilight balked. “Do you mind if Discord not be here for this? I can tell him later, I’d just rather tell one pony at a time.”
Rainbow expected the draconequus to argue, but instead he shrugged. “Oh, alright, I suppose if you really want some privacy then it would be rude not to give it to you.” Discord got up and began walking towards the cottage’s back door. “But I do expect you to tell me sometime, Twilight. Trust is a very important part of friendship too... At least, that’s what you’ve said before.”
“I will, Discord,” Twilight answered, “I would just prefer to take it slow.”
Discord nodded sagely. “Yes, baby steps and all that. In any case, I shall take my leave. Adieu, mon freres.” With that, Discord opened the back door, revealing a swirling maelstrom of random and nonsensical objects floating and rotating in an aetherous stasis. With one last bemused look back, Discord stepped into his impossible world, quietly closing the door behind him.
“Well,” Rainbow said, exhaling. “I expected him to put up more of a fight.” He must already know, somehow; that’s the only explanation.
Fluttershy nodded. “He’s been doing better about those kinds of things. Really, you should visit more often when he’s around, he’s become quite the nice draconequus.” Fluttershy glanced back, where Discord had left their dimension. “But now that he’s gone, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
Rainbow nudged Twilight, and took a step back to give her room.
Twilight bit her lip. “Fluttershy, we’re friends, right?”
Rainbow resisted the urge to facehoof. Stop beating around the bush and just tell her, Twilight!
Fluttershy tilted her head. “Of course we are, Twilight. Why wouldn’t we be?”
“Well...” Twilight swallowed audibly. Rainbow tensed. “I’m gay, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy’s jaw dropped. “R... Really?”
“Yes.” Twilight looked down at the floor. “I’ve known I was gay since I was seven. It’s just the way I am. Rainbow’s the only other pony I’ve told about it.”
A whimper interrupted Twilight, and Rainbow turned her head to see tears tracing paths down Fluttershy’s face. Rainbow blinked in disbelief. “Fluttershy, why are you crying?”
“F-For so l-long...” Fluttershy put her face in her hooves, her body wracking with sobs. “I was so scared...”
“Scared of what?” Twilight asked.
Fluttershy leapt out of the chair, sweeping Twilight into a hug. “Twilight, I’m gay too!”
Rainbow sat, stunned. Fluttershy was lesbian all this time... and she never told me? She couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt that her closest friend had never told her, but at the same time, she couldn’t really blame the shy pegasus for not telling anypony.
Speaking of, Rainbow took a step forward and joined the embrace. “I’m really happy for you, Flutters,” she murmured between Fluttershy’s hiccups.
“I’ve tried to hide it for so long...” Fluttershy paused, wiping her eyes. “I’ve been pen pals for Treehugger for years, because we were both gay, and the last Gala was the first time we’d met face-to-face...” The pegasus’ hooves pressed tighter around Twilight, and she extracted a hoof to wrap around Rainbow’s shoulders as well. “I live out here because I’m too scared of what might happen if I lived in town and everypony found out... the animals don’t care, but ponies will, and they’d hate me...”
“Why didn’t you tell me about all of this, Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked, trying her best not to sound angry.
“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but I couldn’t tell anypony, not even you. I just couldn’t do it. Thank you, thank you both so much...”
They stayed in their hug for the next several minutes. Rainbow did her best not to fidget; she understood it was important for Fluttershy and for Twilight, but she never really liked being in contact with other ponies for too long. Unless they’re guys. And I give them my permission.
Eventually they broke the group hug. “Thank you, Fluttershy,” Twilight said, wiping away her own tears. “I’m so happy for you.”
“And I’m happy for you, too,” Fluttershy responded in kind, reaching for a tissue box and offering it to Twilight even as she pulled one for herself. “Knowing two of my friends here in Ponyville are gay too makes me feel a lot less lonely.”
“Uh,” Rainbow interrupted, rising a hoof, “I’m not actually gay. But I’m absolutely one-hundred-percent supportive.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said. “Well, thank you for that, too. You’ve always helped me be the best I can be, Rainbow Dash, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”
Rainbow smiled. “It’s the least I can do for such an awesome friend.”
The three spent the afternoon enjoying each other’s company.
“Hey, you’re not a nervous wreck this time,” Rainbow commented as she waited with Twilight in Pinkie’s room in Sugarcube Corner. She had been more than happy to talk with her friends about something serious, but said she had a few things in the oven she needed to take out and let cool before she could spare the time.
Twilight let out a short, clipped laugh. “I wasn’t nervous about Pinkie accepting me so much as I was nervous that she might tell everypony else before I had a chance to stop her, but at this point even if it got out publicly then having over half of the Elements of Harmony be okay with it helps a lot to calm me down.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed. “And I’ll bet that AJ and Rarity will also be fine with it, once we tell them. Because they will be fine with it.”
Twilight quickly nodded, and Rainbow Dash allowed a small smirk at brooking no argument. “Maybe you’re right, Rainbow. Of course, maybe the positive experiences so far have been spoiling me.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Well, I doubt Pinkie’s going to change that now, at least.”
Twilight nodded again, but before she could say more Pinkie burst through the door. “Sorry! Everything’s a-okay down in the kitchen now! What’s the secrety-secret you wanted to tell me about?” The pink pony plopped down in front of the two, looking between them eagerly.
Twilight took another deep breath, but Rainbow knew this one was of confidence, not of fear. “I’m gay, Pinkie.”
Rainbow didn’t think she’d ever heard such a loud gasp before, even from Pinkie, as her pupils dilated and her hooves rocketed too her cheeks. “Oh em gee! This is the greatest no-longer-secret of all time!” Pinkie glomped Twilight, nuzzling her hard. “I’m so happy for you!”
“T-Thanks, Pinkie...!” Twilight rasped, weakly wriggling in Pinkie’s death grip. “Can’t... breathe!”
“Oops, sorry!” Pinkie loosened her grip before kissing Twilight on the lips. “I’m just so happy!”
“Wait,” Rainbow said, trying to register what she’d just seen, “Pinkie, are you gay too?”
“No, silly!” Pinkie turned to the pegasus. “I’m pansexual!”
“...Oh,” Rainbow said, trying to collect herself. “G-Great, Pinks!” She attempted a smile to cover up her shock.
Pinkie continued babbling to Twilight, but it went in one ear and out the other as Rainbow fell into thinking. First Twilight’s gay, then Fluttershy, and now Pinkie’s pan... That can’t be a coincidence, can it? I mean, being gay isn’t all that common, is it? I’m pretty sure it isn’t. Rainbow laughed to herself. Maybe I’m just really good at making friends with gay ponies or something.
Shaking off the surreality of it, Rainbow joined in the private celebration.
“Oh, darling, it’s okay,” Rarity said, taking Twilight’s hoof in hers. “I don’t mind who you love, you’re still the same Twilight to me.”
“That’s right,” Rainbow Dash said confidently.
“Thanks, Rarity,” Twilight said, smiling. “It means a lot to me that you’re so accepting. I was afraid you’d think less of me for it.”
“Oh, I could never!” Rarity broke her touch with Twilight to drape a hoof across her forehead. “Perish the thought of judging others for something so silly! Although...” Rarity put her hoof to her mouth. “I suppose I am a bit biased; I am bisexual, after all.”
Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Okay, wait a minute, hold up!”
Both Rarity and Twilight looked over at the pegasus. “I’m sorry, Rainbow, is something wrong?” Rarity asked.
Rainbow heard the slightest of accusatory undertones, but ignored it. “Sorry, but this is just weird now. Isn’t this weird, Twilight? Come on, you have to think that this is weird now.”
“Well...” Twilight hesitated. “It’s certainly unexpected.”
“What’s weird?” Rarity asked, more insistently this time.
“Okay, so Twilight first comes out to me as gay, and then we find out that Fluttershy’s gay, and that Pinkie’s pan, and now you’re bi.” Rainbow felt a pang of regret that she hadn’t asked for Fluttershy’s permission before letting it drop, but it was too late now. “That can’t be a coincidence, can it? That none of you are straight?”
Rarity looked back at Twilight. “Is that true?”
“Well... yes.” Twilight rubbed a front hoof against her other foreleg. “It is slightly unusual, isn’t it...”
Rainbow huffed. “Don’t tell me, is Applejack going to be gay, too?”
“No!”
“Ha!” Rainbow pumped a hoof in the air. “Finally!”
“I mean, there ain’t nothing wrong with it,” Applejack corrected, “but I ain’t gay.” The farmpony raised an eyebrow. “I assume there’s a reason you asked me that kind of question?”
“Well, darling,” Rarity said, “we’re trying to clear up a rather unusual situation.”
“What kind of situation?”
“A lot more of our friends are gay than we expected,” Twilight admitted.
“...How much more?”
“Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy,” Rainbow listed, again wishing she was able to ask permission before naming them, but this was a very extenuating circumstance. “We needed a sanity check.”
“...All y’all are gay?” Applejack asked, looking between her three other friends.
“Well, I’m bi,” Rarity said, “and Rainbow Dash is straight, but Twilight is, and I believe Rainbow said Fluttershy was too.”
Applejack was silent.
Rainbow’s scrutiny quickly turned to horror. “Applejack... are you lying to us?!”
“What? No!” Applejack yelled, punctuating it with a stomp. “I told y’all, I’m not gay!” Her angry stance shifted into a much less confident hoof shuffle. “I’m just, uh, what’s the word... curious? Yeah, I’m curious.”
“Oh come on!” Rainbow Dash shouted, running her hooves through her mane in exasperation. “Are you serious?!”
“No, she said ‘curious,’ dear,” Rarity called out, flinching away from her pegasus friend’s eruption.
“Alright, that’s it!” Rainbow flew towards the town hall, and pulled hard on the rope connected to the massive bell in its belfry. Powerful gongs vibrated through the building, and ponies began opening windows and peeking out of doors, wondering what was happening.
“Everypony, front and center!” Rainbow yelled. “Everypony, come to Ponyville Square, right now!”
Ponies began trickling out of their houses and collecting in the plaza, murmuring amongst themselves.
“What’s going on?”
“Is there an emergency?”
“Look, it’s Rainbow Dash! Heeeeeeeeeey, Rainbow! What’s going on?!”
“She must have an important announcement to make!”
“Ooh! Maybe she’s going to tell us something about the Wonderbolts!”
“Maybe there’s going to be a show here!”
Rainbow stopped pulling the rope after all of the Ponyville populace had congregated and flew up above them. “Alright, we’re going to get something settled once and for all!” Rainbow pointed at the crowd. “Who here is not gay, raise your hooves!
Despite initial confusion at the seemingly random question, eventually every single hoof went up. Rainbow looked around for a moment before noticing Twilight with the other Element bearers, her hoof up amongst all of theirs.
“Uggggh,” Rainbow said, smacking her face. “Look, it’s alright to be gay. I have two gay dads. We don’t judge here. Those of you who are gay, you can put your hooves down and we will accept you.” Rainbow crossed her forelegs. “And we will accept you.”
After a moment, Lyra and Bon Bon’s hooves came down. Then a couple more. Then a few more. Then several others.
Rainbow watched, dumbstruck, as about half of the several hundred ponies in attendance finally dropped their hooves. “Wow. Really? That’s just... Wait...” Rainbow noticed that Pinkie and Rarity still had their hooves up. “Bisexuals don’t count! Or any of that other stuff! Just... anypony who’s straight, heterosexual, whatever, keep your hooves up!”
More hooves came down, slowly and steadily, until nopony in the crowd had their hooves up except Ruby Pinch. Berry Punch swatted it down and admonished her for lying when she knew perfectly well that her daughter was gay.
“Really?!” Rainbow shrieked in disbelief, her voice cracking. “Not a single one of you?! Come on, at least somepony here has to be straight! Besides me!” Rainbow shook her head before pointing at one particular pony. “You, Carrot Top! You have a husband!”
Carrot Top winced, glancing around at the ponies around her. “W-Well, I... I was scared that if anypony found out I liked mares, they’d hate me, so I just... accepted Written Script’s advances, and we got married, and one thing led to another...”
“Ugh! Well then, Written Script! You didn’t have your hoof up either!”
“I was doing what I thought was expected of me!” Written Script yelled back. “I thought, you know, maybe nopony would call me gay anymore if they saw I had a marefriend!” The stallion’s expression turned unsure, and he hoofed at the ground. “Of course, they were right about it in the end I suppose...”
“But-! B-But...” Rainbow huffed out a few breaths. “But this doesn’t make sense! How can everypony in Ponyville be gay?” The thought crossed Dash’s mind that maybe it was something to do with Ponyville specifically. But then why would Fluttershy and Twilight be gay? “I don’t get it!”
The crowd was silent.
“You know what?” Rainbow said, whipping her mane out of her face. “I’m done. I’m just going to go back to my house and pretend I didn’t get out of bed today.”
The pegasus zoomed off, leaving the crowd to uncomfortably face the new paradigm they’d just inadvertently revealed.
“Is she still in there?”
“Yes, Princess,” Twilight said.
Celestia shook her head. “I told you, Twilight, you need not refer to me by my title. ‘Celestia’ is fine.”
“Sorry, Celestia.” Twilight broke eye contact, looking around Rainbow Dash’s home. The pegasus hadn’t come out of the house in several days. “We’ve tried everything to get her to leave, but she refuses to go outside.”
“Well, considering the truth that Equestria has recently learned about itself, perhaps her reaction is not entirely unwarranted.” Celestia knocked daintily on Rainbow’s door before turning back to Twilight. “I must admit, I’m rather surprised myself that it had not come to light earlier. It pains me knowing that all these years we’ve been upholding a charade we didn’t even know was false, and that so many ponies were pressured into marital arrangements that they had never wanted...”
Twilight nodded. “At least we know now. And, er, Celestia, you might want to tell Rainbow it’s you. We’ve tried knocking already.”
“Alright.” Clearing her throat, the Princess of the Sun raised her voice. “Rainbow Dash? I would like to speak with you!”
“Go away,” was the reply, muffled by clouds and by the second-story window.
“Please, Rainbow,” Twilight interjected, “we just want you to come out of your house!”
“Don’t wanna,” Rainbow’s voice said. “Too busy questioning my sanity.”
“Rainbow, that’s ridiculous!”
“I know! This whole thing is ridiculous! And that’s exactly why I don’t want to go outside!”
“Rainbow Dash,” Princess Celestia said, “If you don’t want to go out, can we at least come in? We only want to speak with you.”
The air was quiet for a minute until a sigh filtered down. A few moments later, a latch clicked behind the door, and Rainbow Dash curtly gestured them inside.
Twilight tried not to cringe at the mess strewn about: Random books here and there, laundry haphazardly flung everywhere, furniture reoriented around the rooms with seemingly no rhyme or reason. The three ponies stopped in Rainbow’s den, which was only slightly less disorganized than the rest of her house.
Rainbow snorted. “Here’s the room where everything first went wrong.”
“Rainbow, please,” Twilight said. “I didn’t know it was going to turn out this way any more than you did.”
“Certainly,” Celestia added. “I doubt anypony saw this coming.”
“How could they?” Rainbow asked, irritatedly flopping onto her couch. “It’s so stupid. Nopony could have predicted it in a million years.”
“It was sudden,” Twilight said in agreement, not sure what else she could offer. She felt like she should apologize, but she wasn’t sure for what.
“Princess Celestia,” Rainbow began, “are you gay, too?”
Celestia locked eyes with Rainbow for a moment before nodding, a sad, understanding smile on her face.
Rainbow moaned, covering her eyes with a foreleg. “This sucks. Everypony in Equestria is gay except me.”
Celestia opened her mouth, but closed it after a second. Twilight considered mentioning that there were many bisexuals out there, but decided against it.
What Rainbow Dash had said was true; of all the ponies that had suddenly been confronted with the fact that gayness was the new norm in the past several days, not a single one had come out as solely being attracted to the opposite sex. In that sense, Rainbow really was alone.
“Well...” Twilight struggled to think of what to say. “If you need us, you know, we’re always there for you. We’re your friends, Rainbow, no matter who you love.”
“I know, I know,” Rainbow said, before a bemused snort escaped her. “I guess now I know what it feels like, to be in the minority here.”
“Not everypony believes what happened in Ponyville, you know,” Celestia offered. “There are still many ponies who don’t know that being genuinely heterosexual is now unusual. Perhaps... there might yet be another straight pony in Equestria.”
“You know,” Twilight said without thinking, “It’s my understanding that ‘straight’ comes from closeted ponies acting ‘on the straight and narrow,’ so if being gay is normal now, maybe that means it’s the new straight? And that being straight is the new gay?”
“Thanks, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “That makes me feel a lot better.”
Twilight winced as her ears drooped. “S-Sorry...”
“It’s okay. Just... I just need some time, okay? Some time to come to grips about all of this.”
The two princesses reluctantly nodded, and began to leave the room. “If you ever want to stop by the library...” Twilight said uncertainly.
“I’ll let you know when I’m out and about, Twi.”
Twilight gave one last smile, and departed with her mentor.
Rainbow Dash waited until the last wingbeats of the two ponies faded away before sighing and getting off the couch. Deciding she felt like a soda, she trotted to her refrigerator and opened the door.
She shrieked and jumped away, rocketing backwards and upwards only to slam into the cloud wall as Discord casually stepped out of an angrily swirling miasma of purples and blacks, gently shutting the fridge door behind him. “Ah, Rainbow Dash. Has it been sufficient time yet for me to pester you about that secret, now?”
“D-Discord!” Rainbow flew up to his face. “Don’t do that again!”
“My apologies,” Discord said, putting a paw on his chest in mock regret. “I had not realized you were so skittish. Next time, I’ll choose perhaps a less frightening entrance, like standing in for one of your trophies or something. That might damage your pride, but it probably won’t scare you. Then again, I must admit, it’s rather difficult to imagine something that is less scary than a refrigerator, unless you count the stench of mayonnaise when you leave it inside one past the expiration date.”
Rainbow groaned. “What do you want, Discord?”
“I told you, I wanted to know if you were safe in telling me the big secret!” Discord rested his chin on his hands as he levitated beside the pegasus. “I’d like to know aaaaaall about it.”
“You knew, didn’t you?” Rainbow accused, thrusting a hoof at Discord’s face. “You knew that everypony was gay, that’s why you didn’t make a big deal out of it at Fluttershy’s!”
The draconequus laughed. “Anyone with half a brain knows it. Except the ponies that live in Equestria, apparently. The ‘love that dare not speak its name’ is now out-and-proud... so to speak. I suppose you could say that it’s not really all that big of a secret anymore.”
Rainbow allowed herself a mirthless laugh. “Guess so. I guess that means that the real big secret is... that I’m straight.”
“Oh, my!” A talon flew to his mouth. “You, straight?! My goodness, they’ll never let you live it down! You know, I’ve heard they persecute breeders quite harshly in rural towns like Ponyville. What would the Wonderbolts think, if they knew they’d allowed a het into their ranks! Why, Spitfire would discharge you in a heartbeat!”
“Discord, stop it!” Rainbow Dash yelled. “I really don’t want to hear about it right now!”
Discord paused to wipe spittle off his face. “Oh, I see. You really are taking it hard, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I sort of am!” Tossing her mane back, Rainbow sighed. “I mean, I’m obviously totally okay with gay ponies. I just... I can’t wrap my head around it. It feels like it’s all a dream, and that I’m going to wake up any day now and none of this will have ever happened.”
Discord nodded, a sympathetic frown on his face. “Yes, it’s tough knowing that your orientation isn’t a common one. It can be quite isolating, and even when your friends understand what it’s about, it’s another thing entirely for them to understand and sympathize with the unique problems you face because of it. Yes, tolerance is only the first step to acceptance, and that’s a lesson that everyone should learn from this.”
Rainbow stared at Discord uncomprehendingly before shaking her head. “What are you talking about, Discord?”
“Oh, terribly sorry, I was just musing about nothing important,” Discord sniffed. “To rephrase in terms you would understand, perhaps this is all just a phase. Have you tried not being straight? Perhaps you just haven’t met the right mare yet. Or you could be bisexual; it’s perfectly normal to merely have a preference for stallions. Really, you should just try it once with a girl, see if it’s a latent sex drive.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes before flying back into her den and lying on the couch again. “If you don’t have anything serious to say, then goodbye Discord.”
“Oh, of course, you want to be left to wallow in... whatever it is ponies wallow in.” A flash signaled the appearance of Discord sprawled out on a cloud chair’s hoofrests, his snakelike body draped on the seat. “But it might comfort you to know, I know of at least one other straight pony.”
Rainbow’s head perked up. “You do?”
“Yes, I do.” Discord brought a claw to his face, stroking his beard. “Commander Hurricane most certainly only liked mares. In fact, if I remember the times correctly, it was his absolute intolerance of and crackdown on homosexuality that solidified the case against ponies acting openly gay... until now, of course. Perhaps you are a distant descendant? I’m not trying to imply you’re nearly as homophobic, of course. Merely the teeniest, tiniest bit homophobic.”
Rainbow groaned, thrusting her head against the couch. “Go away, Discord.”
“You know,” Discord rambled on without acknowledging her, “it’s also my recollection that ‘breeding season’ came to be because ponies were so disgusted at the thought of constantly having sex with their partners, that they quietly made it a thing to only have sex one week out of the year so that they could get it all over with and not have to worry about it until next season. Babies have to come from somewhere, you know.”
“Discord!”
“Alright, alright, I can see you’re uninterested in hearing the rich history of pony sexuality.” Discord got up from his chair and walked back towards the fridge in the other room. He paused, turning back towards Rainbow. “If I may be frank, while males most certainly do not interest me, I am attracted to females...”
“Discord!”
The draconequus yelped, disappearing out of sight behind the entryway to the kitchen.
Discord’s voice reverberated around Rainbow Dash’s walls. “Don’t worry, Rainbow. I’m sure you’ll find somepony to love you for who you are. And remember: it gets better.”
Rainbow only spared a groan of annoyance, clamping a sofa pillow over her head and trying not to feel so impotent.
