Icebreaker

by Equimorto

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 993

The adventures of an overpowered, canon-breaking OC.

The adventures of Icebreaker, a mary sue super powerful and intelligent incarnation of awesomeness, as he fights dragons and eldritch abominations, parties with aliens and gods, and generally tries to see what he can break more often between the cities he visits, the show canon or the fourth wall.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-03 15:07:55 UTC

Icebraker

"You misspelled my name in the chapter title."

"I write this story, I make the rules. Now shut up or you'll end up in that other story."

"The one that's only dialogues and no one has read?"

"The one where the stars come right and everybody dies. Now please let me get this over with."

Icebreaker was walking around in the center of town, looking as awesome as he always did, spreading happiness all around just with his mere presence. Icebreaker was not his real name, for he was Stormslayer the third, the immortal, the invincible, son of the stars, he who travelled across the universe, savior of worlds, destroyer of evil. He could fly, move faster than the eye could see, use the most advanced magic known and unknown, and had fought and defeated countless enemies of incredible power. He also made everyone he as much as breathed near to act completely out of character, which explains a lot about how he did all those things. His coat was the color of dreams, his mane was like someone had turned dreams into matter and gave it form, and his eyes were deep and beautyful, like a dream, and

"You really suck with descriptions, you know?"

"You keep going like this and I'll soon be descibing a torture scene."

"Can't we just skip to the action part of the story?"

"Fine."

Suddenly, a dragon attacked the city and started to destroy every building that stood in his way. The citizens started screaming and running away as the dragon kept breaking down everything he touched and killing innocents. Also Pinkie Pie was there, cause we needed this story to have a somewhat consistent connection with the source material. She didn't really do much apart from being there. In hindsight we could have used someone else instead of wasting a main character like that. Whatever.

As the dragon turned in Icebreaker's direction, the hero did not run away, but instead merely looked at the beast, and the greatness of his awesomeness was so magnificent that the horrid creature was disintegrated just by the sight of it, while turrents of rainbow colored light erupted from the ground resurrecting the dead and repearing the city.

'Through the fire and flames' was playing in the background, too. Because it's cool.

Youtube Video

While taking a celebratory lap around town to receive the praise he deserved for being so awesome, he spotted a particularly attractive mare and took her with him in his flight towards the next city. In the middle of the trip he realised that the story does not have a mature tag. He dropped the mare and continued in his journey.

He arrived at a town built near the sea and saw that it was being attacked by weird monsters that looked like humanoid sea creatures.

I won't give a better desciption of those, otherwise this is gonna turn into a wall of text of Lovecraft inspired ramblings and I'd rather save that for when I'm actually writing something were it's required, so just think big tentacle headed green frog-monkey hybrids.

Turns out, the waves of the awesomeness explosion were so powerfull that they had caused R'lyeh to rise from the bottom of the ocean and had waken up Cthulhu. Icebreaker went and told Cthulhu that no, the stars had not come right yet, and then offered him to have tea together before going back to sleep.

'Master of puppets' started to play in the background.

Youtube Video

After the tea was over and Cthulhu had gone back to sleep a party was thrown to celebrate Icebreaker and his awesomeness, and everyone was invited, including the aliens Icebreaker had saved on his numerous travels across the galaxy. Pinkie Pie was also there. Also something about a god and the end of the world, but everybody was to drunk to remember exactly what. Not that it mattered, because as Icebreaker always said:"from great powers comes the ability to not give a fuck.".

After the party was over Luna and Celestia wanted to personally congratulate with him, so he was invited to spend the night in the castle.

Again, the fact that this story is filed under the teen category prevents me from going into detail about the events of that night, but Icebreaker would probably be pissed at me if I left it out completely, so lets just say that that night lasted longer than usual, shall we?

"What? Is that all?"

"There's only so much I can write of you being you before throw up."

"Are you just going to ignore the fact that there's no ending?"

"My endings usually involve ripping off the ending of 'Nyarlathotep' death."

"Can't you just make something up?"

And Icebreaker lived happily ever after.

"Are you happy now?"

"I hate you."

"I hate you as well."

"You know you haven't reached the minimum required number of words, right?"

"I hate my life."

In which I make this story long enough

Icebreaker was feeling bored that day, so he decided to go on a journey through space and time to save the world again. Before starting his travel he teleported around and brought Celestia, Luna and Pinkie Pie with him, becaus we need to justify the fact that they're tagged as characters in this story. He started his journey, but first made a short trip to Gallifrey to justify the crossover tag. Once in space he turned to his companions to talk to them. Unfortunately the were not able to breath in space, so they had died. This also caused the land of Equestria to fall in a state of chaos and destruction, but Icebreaker didn't care, he would have fixed that later.

As he was sailing in the cold emptiness of space, he realised he had finally crossed the 1000 words mark.

Technically we crossed in the last paragraph, but I wanted to make sure.

The End.