Chapters The Restaurant Row Mission
“Ready to receive magic?”
“‘Nah, Starlight didn’t ruin the map,’ you said. ‘We’d know if she did because we, i.e. I, know everything,’ you said.”
“How long are you going to harp on this? I told you, it’s not like ponies meddle with powerful, ancient relics on a regular basis.”
“We could have at least double-checked, though. Luck favors the prepared, right?”
“Look, what’s past is past, the princess and Starlight have figured it out, and now we’re fixing it. Now are you ready to receive the magic?”
“Yeah, yeah. Ready to receive.”
“Here it comes.”
“…”
“Magic received. Preparing the matrix.”
“On three. One… Two… THREE!”
“Magical Matrix restocked. Calibrating…”
“Just a few more hookups…”
“…Magic successfully integrated. The map is ready to go once more.”
“Let’s test things out first, though. I’d rather not have things go wrong now that we can finally send the girls on missions again.”
“Fair enough. Let’s run the marker system real quick. Just a few markers in random locations, done so quickly they won’t have time to process them. We don’t need them going on some wild goose chase just because they saw it on the map.”
“Okay. Let’s try… Fluttershy and Princess Twilight Sparkle at Appleoosa!”
“That worked. How about… Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash in Las Pegasus!”
“Rainbow Dash and Princess Twilight Sparkle in Yakyakistan!”
“I think we got it working now.”
“Just let me try one more. Princess Twilight and Princess Twilight and Princess Twilight’s Castle!”
“…”
“I don’t know what’s worse: that you actually suggested that, or that it worked.”
“At the very least, it proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that we have full control over the map again. Notice how it didn’t shut down at the contradictory information.”
“Ugh, whatever. If you’re done having your fun, we should probably focus on getting a mission ready. The backlog has only gotten bigger thanks to the hiatus.”
“That’s what we’re calling it now?”
“Just find something for them to do.”
“Okay, let’s see here… Um… Ah! Perfect!”
“What do you have?”
“Canterlot. Specifically, Restaurant Row.”
“Hmm. While I agree that removing Zesty Gourmand’s influence would be a good thing overall, I’m not sure I’m comfortable tackling another big city right now. Even with the hiatus, it hasn’t been that long since the Manehattan Mission. The Winds of Fate weren’t particularly happy with me when I went to ask for their help then; I doubt they’ll be any more charitable so soon.”
“And this is why I’m the creative one; you take things too simply.”
“Care to explain, O Master of Creativity?”
“If we send them now, they’ll likely want to take the next train to Canterlot. By the time they arrive, it’ll be close to lunchtime. Let’s face it: you can’t solve friendship problems on an empty stomach. All we’d need to do is send the right pony and she’ll lead them right to their goal without even realizing it.”
“That… is actually quite clever.”
“I know.”
“Okay, so maybe we have a suitable mission, but how exactly will they accomplish it? Timing for a lunchbreak is one thing, but what makes now such a good opportunity?”
“Way ahead of you. A new restaurant opened up a few weeks ago, and the proprietors are… less than amiable right now. Turns out doing business in a place where success is determined by reputation tends to stress a pony out.”
“So help their business, and get them back together in the process, and the entire district will set itself on the right course by following their example.”
“That’s the long and short of it.”
“Okay, I’m convinced. And on that note, I have to strongly suggest Rarity. For one, your plan hinges on them going to Restaurant Row as soon as they recognize their hunger. Rarity, being absolutely obsessed with Canterlot, would make it her first choice just on principle.”
“Well, by that logic, Princess Twilight would be even better; I mean, she only grew up there.”
“I’m not unaware of this, but keep in mind that, even if she does suggest it, we don’t want to make things too easy. The goal here is to get the other restaurants to stop following Ms. Gourmand’s ‘standards.’ But if Princess Twilight is the one who approves of this new restaurant, everyone will only look at it as a royal endorsement, not a signal for change. No, what we need is a pony whose standing in Equestria isn’t based on culinary knowledge or being royalty.”
“I guess I can see that, but what can Rarity do that doesn’t just involve pointing them in the right direction?”
“Rarity may be a fashionista, but she also knows how to run a business. Out of the entire team, she’ll know best how to draw a crowd and make a place inviting. If Restaurant Row has any chance of getting back on track, this restaurant is going to need customers.”
“Hmm, okay you might be right. But I do see one tiny flaw in this plan. Rarity’s not exactly open to unknown factors. Thanks to Zesty’s reputation, it will take some effort for Rarity to admit that her ‘approved restaurants’ don’t serve anything great.”
“True. We need someone who will recognize this particular restaurant’s value. Rainbow Dash or Applejack, perhaps? They are the least likely to take Rarity’s suggestions completely seriously.”
“I don’t disagree, but from what I’ve seen, the menu here is very… nonstandard. Applejack and Rainbow may not follow along with Rarity, but I doubt they’ll be any more open-minded. Whoever we send has to be willing to try anything and convince Rarity to do the same. And now that I say that out loud, I’m thinking Pinkie Pie is the best choice we can make.”
“True enough, I suppose. Out of all the ponies, she’s probably the only one who won’t have any problem denying Rarity’s more extreme opinions.”
“Not to mention the fact that Rarity may ‘make the place inviting,’ but Pinkie knows how to keep others’ attention. Plus, she does work in a restaurant herself, so she’ll know the ins and outs of presentation better than any of them.”
“Very well. Shall we send them?”
“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time now. A really, really, really long time.”
“I told you to be quiet about that. Just call them.”
“Right, right. Calling Pinkie Pie.”
“Calling Rarity.”
“Your mission begins here.”
“…”
“Oh, uh, oops. Looks like that double Princess Twilight bit kinda did mess up the map a little. Give me a sec, I’ll fix it.”
“Oh, sweet deities.”
Author's Note
This was something I had planned out soon after publishing the first one. After every season, I'll write up a few more of these and post them here. Expect the next chapter next week.
“Any good ideas?”
“I’m looking through the list now, but I’m not seeing any good opportunities.”
“Not everything has to be about timing, you know.”
“Maybe not, but if anything we can use to our advantage does show up, I’d rather we know about it and be able to act on it sooner rather than later.”
“I guess you have a point.”
“…”
“Hm?”
“What’s up?”
“Hang on, let me just… There!”
“Las Pegasus.”
“Looks like Gladmane duped… I mean hired a couple familiar faces.”
“Familiar…? Wait, aren’t those… Flim and Flam?”
“Poetic, is it not? The conponies got conned.”
“Are you suggesting we could actually use this?”
“Well, when you think about it, it’s not that different from the Griffonstone Mission: utilize someone once considered an enemy to bring about true friendship.”
“I don’t know. I mean, Gilda was already friends with Rainbow Dash before their falling out. Flim and Flam have been nothing but trouble since they first showed up.”
“Nevertheless, it’s our best shot.”
“But how can we use this? I mean, what reason could they have to help a group of ponies who have bested them twice?”
“Their pride as con-artists, for one. These two don’t seem like the type to be knowingly taken advantage of.”
“Kinda hypocritical of them, wouldn’t you say?”
“Hey, the faults that bother us most are the ones we share.”
“…Since when did you get so wise?”
“Being around you, I’m surprised I didn’t pick it up sooner. My newfound wisdom aside, if we send someone who can convince them of the truth, they’ll be more than happy to run Gladmane out of business.”
“But who would they even listen to?”
“I think you know the answer already. Someone who values the truth, the very antithesis of their MO, above all else…”
“Wait, you don’t mean…?”
“We have to send in Applejack.”
“I see one glaring issue with this. And I think you know what I‘m talking about.”
“I’ll admit, Applejack will be… reluctant to help them out, let alone work with them. But once she sees what’s going on elsewhere around the hotel, I don’t think even she can deny it much longer.”
“You really are certain about this, huh? Well, I admit, the more I think about it, the more I can’t argue. After their last con in Ponyville, Flim and Flam got it drilled into their heads that Applejack won’t bend the truth for anything, least of all something that would benefit them. But she’s going to need someone with her who will pursue the Flim-Flam angle. Someone who won’t judge too harshly, given the circumstances. And I can only think of one pony for the job.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the one pony who would sooner faint than step into the party-wide city that is Las Pegasus, would you?”
“If you mean Fluttershy, then yes. Unless you can think of someone else who would give the brothers a chance.”
“…After what happened with that one cider season, I doubt it.”
“Then shall we?”
“Hm. Calling Applejack.”
“Calling Fluttershy.”
“Your mission begins here.”
“Another day, another mission.”
“Any ideas?”
“Not off the top of my head. I was just about to look through the list.”
“Hmm… Wait, stop here a minute.”
“You mean this?”
“That’s it. Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail.”
“That one? Really?”
“Problem?”
“No, not really. It’s just… I’ll be honest with you; this one seems a little out of place, you know? I mean, most of the missions we have on file and have done so far tend to be of the ‘larger impact’ variety. This one, though, it’s kinda small potatoes in comparison. It’s a bit jarring.”
“I won’t deny that, compared to everything else we had the girls do so far, this one doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But our job isn’t to save Equestria from the threat of the month; that’s the princesses’ job. Our job is to help Princess Twilight spread the magic of friendship across Equestria, whether that be for a large city or just two ponies.”
“I’m not saying it’s not important. It’s just a little weird that we’re going from a Las Pegasus resort hotel with bad business practices to just two friends who need to learn about self-confidence.”
“Regardless, it’s a friendship problem that needs solving, so let’s get to the solving.”
“Right, right. So, Sky Stinger: the guy’s become confident enough in his abilities that he actually believes he’s Wonderbolt material, not realizing that most of his ‘talent’ is really just Vapor Trail providing the air currents he needs to pull off his tricks.”
“Personally, I’d argue both of them have potential to become Wonderbolts. Sky Stinger has the drive and the ambition. And while Vapor Trail doesn’t know it yet, her willingness to help others in spite of herself makes her the perfect team player.”
“The main problem here is obvious: Sky has unknowingly relied on Vapor’s assistance for so long that he feels he doesn’t need to improve; and Vapor lacks the confidence to believe in herself, something every Wonderbolt needs.”
“If these two don’t get into the academy, it’s all too likely their friendship will end. He’ll blame her for his overconfidence, and she’ll feel like he doesn’t appreciate her company.”
“So what we need is to temper his overconfidence with some actual skill and build up her confidence to the point where she can be proud of herself for once.”
“As far as the Sky Stinger angle goes, we’ll need Princess Twilight for this. However this goes down, Sky will realize that his own skill, or lack thereof, won’t be enough. The more he knows about what he’s doing, the better his chances are of actually being Wonderbolt material.”
“But knowledge is only part of the problem. If he wants to make it as a Wonderbolt, he needs to let go of the crutch that is his best friend.”
“Might be difficult. Vapor Trail has never been one to stay too far from Sky. And part of that is her unwillingness to be the center of attention. I mean, the only reason she’s even trying out for the Wonderbolts is to keep up the charade.”
“All she needs is a confidence boost. The way I see it, Sky’s not going to believe that his abilities are exaggerated until Vapor herself confirms it for him, and she won’t do that without the confidence to stand up to him. Besides, if she is Wonderbolt material, as you say, she needs to see herself as someone to be proud of, both in Sky’s eyes and her own.”
“Sounds like the choice here is obvious.”
“Rainbow Dash is practically Ponyville’s one-mare cheering squad. She managed to bolster the entire pegasus population in preparation for that Tornado Day last year. Getting one Wonderbolt-in-training to believe in herself would be child’s play by comparison.”
“Not to mention she could teach Vapor a few tricks of her own. Let’s face it; if she’s going to be a Wonderbolt, she needs to be able to fly in tandem with them.”
“Double whammy. Confidence booster and flight coach.”
“Yeah, I think we got this one covered.”
“Well, it is a very straightforward mission.”
“Are you really still complaining about that?”
“I never was! I was merely stating an opinion.”
“Yeah, you do have a bad habit of doing that.”
“Hey, be glad I wasn’t stating the opinion that you’re just trying to hook these two up.”
“…You’re joking about that, right?”
“Are you denying it?”
“…Calling Twilight Sparkle.”
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Just call her.”
“Hmhm. Calling Rainbow Dash.”
“Your mission begins here.”
"..."
"You still haven't denied it."
"Oh, sweet deities."
Author's Note
Welp, that all from me, folks. No, the story isn't ending here. After all, the series is still going on (last I checked, anyway), and that means plenty more map episodes. I just can't write any more chapters for episodes that currently do not exist.
But fret not, for I will upload new chapters probably after each new season until such time as the mission ends.
The Royal Sisters Mission
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Even if I was known for my humor, I wouldn’t joke about something so serious.”
“This is going to have to be a priority, isn’t it?”
“It’s the princesses. If we don’t solve this as soon as possible, who knows how long it’ll be before they cause another rift?”
“Are you saying we’d have another Nightmare Moon scenario?”
“Maybe it won’t be the first thing it leads to, but I wouldn’t be surprised. And that’s if we assume history repeats itself exactly.”
“Hold on, are you seriously thinking…?”
“Even Princess Celestia has the potential to become corrupted.”
“…Yep. Definitely a priority.”
“Then let’s get to work. So, right away, we can probably disqualify Princess Twilight from this one.”
“True. She respects the Royal Sisters too much to want to speak against them, Celestia especially.”
“Perhaps we could go with Rarity. She’s calm, understanding, and she may be able to pick up on the situation faster than the others.”
“Ehhh…”
“Problem?”
“Well, Rarity has this habit of focusing on the smaller details rather than the big picture. You remember Restaurant Row, right? She was so focused on getting Zesty’s approval, she nearly blundered the whole mission.”
“Well, Pinkie wasn’t exactly helping on her end, either, but yeah, you make a good point.”
“How about Applejack? Honest, down-to-earth…”
“She may value the truth, but she’s not the most blunt, especially around those she respects. And that’s what we need: someone who won’t beat around the bush.”
“Um, okay, uh, what about Pinkie Pie? She’s the most likely to say whatever’s on her mind.”
“You’re not wrong, but it’s too risky.”
“Risky? What’s risky about it?”
“Not necessarily with long-term effects, but there’s a not-too-small chance she may not even notice. Keep in mind, the problem here is that the Royal Sisters aren’t fully aware of what the other is going through. You really think Pinkie is going to catch on that quickly? Like I said, time is of the essence.”
“Rainbow, then! Blunt, no real filter to speak of…”
“Has been shown to takes sides when a conflict has no real, immediate answer. This isn’t a case of one sister being right, after all.”
“Fluttershy?!”
“…”
“What? She’s… a peacemaker… and… she’s the most relaxed when… she’s in her… ele…”
“…”
“Give me a break! We’ve run down the entire list of ponies, and none of them work! I’m desperate!”
“I understand, but if we don’t send the right pony, this job will most certainly end in failure.”
“Didn’t you hear me? There is nopony else!”
“Nopony else… Nopony… else…”
“Um, what are mumbling about?”
“We may have one more shot. There is someone else we can send. She’s well aware of the map and what it does. She has the qualities we need to make this mission a success.”
“Who are you…!”
“…”
“You’re not serious.”
“Again, this is no joking matter.”
“You talk about Pinkie Pie being risky, but Starlight Glimmer is a disaster waiting to happen.”
“You’re not still upset about her time-travelling scheme, are you?”
“I’ve long since gotten past that. But when you think about it, she’s only changed so much.”
“Her skills with friendship have improved considerably, though, especially given the time she’s spent with Princess Twilight.”
“And yet she still feels the need to resort to magic to solve all her problems. None of which have worked all that well. Let’s review: friend falls out of contact, take everyone’s talents. Princess screws up that plan, screw up the timestream. Can’t make friends with anyone, use magic to expedite the process, with less than amazing results. Do a whole bunch of friendship lessons at once, mind control. Constantly getting angry, literally bottle it up. Starlight’s first answer has always been to use magic for everything, and it’s almost always blown up in her face.”
“Perhaps, but it’s that kind of attitude we need.”
“What?”
“Think about it. Neither Princess Twilight nor her friends will be willing to confront the princesses about this, if they’ll even recognize the true problem at all. But Starlight has been shown to do whatever it takes to accomplish her goals. Even if her methods are… questionable…”
“Understatement of the millennium.”
“…her most recent misadventures come from a place of wanting to do the right thing. You said it yourself when we all made it back from that whole time travel debacle; she’s regretful. She’s been turning over a new leaf ever since. Every time she messes up, it’s because she wants to be a better pony, to keep her new friends close. But she’s spent years being the next despot-to-be with magic as her only tool; you don’t just get rid of that tendency all at once just because your goals are more altruistic.”
“I’m not saying we shouldn’t go with this. I’m just pointing out that Starlight has a tendency to make things worse before they get better. Don’t be surprised if we end up needing to send someone else later on.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it. For now, though, this needs to be taken care of soon, and Starlight’s the only pony we know who won’t waste time trying to beat around the bush.”
“I guess. Our only real issue now is figuring out how to call her. I mean, Princess Twilight and the others were easy; they were built into the map through those thrones. Starlight didn’t show up until much later.”
“Any ideas?”
“Hmm. Well, her magic is still somewhere on this map, both from the time travel and when she helped Princess Twilight repair it. Maybe… if I take this… is there some… yeah, that’ll do… just a little tighter… Done.”
“Starlight marker. I’m impressed.”
“Please, I’m the creative one. If I didn’t look at every problem as a challenge that needs solving, we wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far as we have.”
“If you say so. Ready?”
“Not really.”
“I’m going to assume that’s sarcasm, so let’s do this.”
“No, I’m serious. I’ve been meaning to work on this new feature for a few weeks now.”
“Wait, what?”
“Just a little something to keep big cities like Canterlot from becoming a navigational nightmare… Okay, there. We should be able to pinpoint just the castle as opposed to the whole of Canterlot now.”
“Um, okay then. Shall we?”
“Here’s hoping.”
“Calling Starlight Glimmer. Your mission begins here.”
“…Deities help us.”
Author's Note
Wow, am I late on this one.
Originally, Red's concerns about Starlight Glimmer were much more... vindictive. It was kind of my attempt to vent some of my frustration on people who hate her a little more than they should (please note that Starlight is not one of my absolute favorite characters in the show, but the level of hate she gets is far more than is reasonable). Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and I decided that "vindictive" just didn't work in this case.
BTW, just to forewarn you, I won't be doing a chapter on the events of "Triple Threat." Personally speaking, I'm having a hard time merely justifying it as a map episode; if anything, the map only made things worse. So my next upload will just go straight to "Shadow Play." My apologies to anyone who might have been looking forward to that.
“Hmm.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Really? Princess Twilight plans to free Star Swirl the Bearded and his fellow Pillars from Limbo, and you ask what’s on my mind?”
“I mean, obviously, this is a big deal; we’re both thinking about it. But knowing you, you’ve already considered every possible outcome of this scheme.”
“One stands out as the most likely, though; as soon as the Pillars are freed, the Pony of Shadows won’t be far behind.”
“That… would be bad.”
“Undoubtedly. However…”
“‘However’ what? How can you possibly turn this into a good thing?”
“We could use this as an opportunity to correct what is, quite possibly, the biggest friendship failure in history.”
“…Okay, see, you lost me.”
“I’m talking about Stygian. I know what happened between him and the other Pillars was well before the Tree of Harmony, but the fact that Stygian fell at all never sat right with me.”
“You can blame Star Swirl for that one. The guy never did put much stock in the intricacies of friendship.”
“My point still stands. We now have the chance to repair a friendship problem that effectively altered the world.”
“A bit hyperbolic, don’t you think?”
“Not when it removed six of the most influential ponies from that plane of existence.”
“…I still think you’re exaggerating a little, but if the Pony of Shadows does come back, it’s only going to be bad for everyone. This should be taken care of.”
“Okay, then, what’s our first step?”
“You’re asking me?”
“This isn’t like the other missions we’ve sent them; technically, Stygian doesn’t even exist right now. It’ll be hard to call anyone for a friendship mission if the pony in need isn’t around. So we need to think outside the box for this one.”
“As subtle as ever, I see. But I get your point. The obvious answer would be to actually have the Pillars, and by extension the Pony of Shadows, reenter this plane.”
“The princess already figured out how the spell works, so we don’t have to worry about that.”
“Refresh my memory, though; how did Star Swirl open a portal to Limbo in the first place?”
“Simple magic, really.”
“…”
“Well, simple for him, at least. After working with that portal to the realm of… humans, I think they’re called… opening a portal to a space between worlds was easy by comparison. The real trick was pulling the Pony of Shadows into it. The Pillars would have to work together, using powerful magic from their own souls to fully accomplish this plan.”
“I’m no expert in the more technical aspects of magic, but wouldn’t power on that scale leave some kind of impact?”
“Hmm. You may be right. We both saw what happened when Princess Twilight set the book down at Ponehenge; Star Swirl’s leftover magic was just enough to show what had happened all those years ago.”
“If that’s the case, maybe the Pillars’ other possessions would have magic just as strong?”
“That’s certainly plausible.”
“If the girls could obtain those items, combined with Twilight’s reverse engineering of the original spell, the combined magic might be able to reopen the portal to Limbo. Do those items still exist?”
“We already saw Meadowbrook’s mask a few weeks back, so I’d have to imagine the rest should be somewhere.”
“Hang on. Princess Twilight’s reading from the journal.”
“Sounds like an entry on the Pillars.”
“Woah, woah, woah. I think I just got an idea.”
“Do tell.”
“Give me a moment. If I can sync the map’s magic with that of the journal, focus on that journal entry… Okay, next, we take the memories embedded into the page…”
“I thought you said you didn’t know much about magic.”
“First off, I only know as much as a Watcher of the Map should, and that’s still enough to know how to manipulate it. Second, this is actually pretty complicated, so don’t interrupt me.”
“Well, sorry.”
“…now for the magic-shaping… and presto!”
“…Wow. And here I thought making Starlight’s marker was impressive.”
“It was a little more difficult, given the magic energies I had to work with, but my creativity never fails.”
“You know, it’d be nice if I could give you a compliment without you letting it go to your head.”
“Just as well. I haven’t even finished yet.”
“Wait, what?”
“Pillar markers are nice and all, but they won’t do us any good if we can’t place them. Fortunately, I managed to tie Star Swirl’s latent magic memories to these markers, so they’ll immediately fly to whichever magic signal most closely resembles their intended Pillar.”
“…I’d compliment you again, but I know how you’d take it.”
“I’ll just be flattered anyway. But enough of that. We’ve got Pillars and Ponies of Shadows to free.”
“Here’s hoping, then.”
“Calling everypony. Your mission begins here.”
“They’re back. And they brought company. Glad to see the Pillars are all healthy. How are things on our end?”
“I’m still working on finding the Pony of Shadows. You’d think it wouldn’t be this hard to find a creature of all-consuming darkness.”
“Try focusing on naturally dark areas. He’ll want to be somewhere with as little light as possible to regain his power.”
“Got it.”
“…”
“Maybe if I tr… What the—?!”
“What’s going on?”
“Some kind of external magic is infiltrating the system. I can’t keep the map focused on the search.”
“Let me get a good look at the throne room.”
“…”
“It’s okay. It’s just Star Swirl.”
“Wait, what? Star Swirl?! What is he—?”
“Give me a sec… It’s an origin revelation spell. He’s trying to find out what the map is.”
“I don’t care what spell it is! It’s messing with the search!”
“Just let him do his thing. Better to work with Star Swirl than try to fight him.”
“Ugh. Fine. Accessing image of the Tree of Harmony. That should keep him off our back.”
“…”
“You know, I really shouldn’t be surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“Star Swirl always was the type of pony to act first and ask questions never. I mean, when you stop and think about it, this whole mess was basically his fault.”
“…That might have been a little harsh.”
“Oh yeah? Stygian may have been jealous of the Pillars, but Star Swirl didn’t even want to know why. He was all, ‘I’m a genius, so I know what’s what. He’s turned evil, therefore, he must be evil forever. No, I won’t question why our friend turned to darkness, because he’s evil and that’s all there is to it.’”
“Okay, okay, I get it.”
“I mean, not that it was preferable, and this may really make me sound terrible, but I’m sort of glad he sent himself to Limbo; imagine if he’d been around during Luna’s corruption.”
“…I… don’t know if I like your tone… but I can’t say you’re wrong, either.”
“Just stating the facts.”
“Well, the last thing we need is to worry about hypotheticals; we’ve done enough of that to last for an eternity.”
“…”
“Oh, finally, the map’s back online. Now we can…! Oh, what now?!”
“What’s wrong?”
“Apparently, Star Swirl’s not done messing with our map.”
“Looks like he’s marking a few places. He’s saying something about dark places where the Pony of Shadows might be.”
“Then… why does he have a mark above Manehattan? I mean, they call it the ‘city that never sleeps’ for a reason. Actually, come to think of it, all of these places are pretty, um, light on the darkness. I swear that pun snuck up on me at the last minute.”
“We’ll worry about your bad jokes later. Let me take a look.”
“…”
“Hmm. Okay, this is just going from my memory, but it is a pretty good memory. These places may not be dark now, but Star Swirl’s going off his own recollections; these areas were dark during his time.”
“You see? This is what I was talking about; he just assumes something and doesn’t admit to the possibility of being wrong until after the fact.”
“I get it, already. Luckily, this marking spell is not as intrusive as the revelation spell; we should be able to continue our search for the Pony of Shadows.”
“Small miracle, I guess. Hey, can you carry on without me?”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m applying what we learned from past mistakes. After what happened with Starlight, I want to make sure the map will still work after this.”
“As bad as you say Star Swirl is, I doubt he’d intentionally harm our map.”
“That’s what you said about Starlight, remember?”
“You do realize that her intentions were not so pure, right?”
“Regardless, I’ll feel better knowing for sure. No harm in checking, right?”
“Fine. You have fun.”
“And as we figured, the Pony of Shadows was nowhere to be found. Us, one; Star Swirl, zip.”
“You can’t blame a pony who’s been gone for a thousand-plus years for having outdated information. How’s the magical matrix?”
“Well, you were partially right about Star Swirl. Most of the stray magic I found barely did anything to actually corrupt the map. Although, I would like to point out that his markers are still slowing us down.”
“I figured that already. Fortunately, Star Swirl has already removed most of them. It won’t be long until he gets rid of the last one.”
“Let’s hope so. Did you make any headway in finding the Pony of Shadows?”
“I’m getting close. I’m hoping to use his dark energy to act like a compass.”
“Better than nothing, I guess.”
“…”
“Hey! The last marker’s gone!”
“And the system is running at full magical efficiency. And right on cue, I think I may have found something.”
“I realize you’re probably tired of hearing me complain about Star Swirl at this point…”
“Not that that’s stopped you…”
“…but doesn’t this just prove my point about him never thinking about these things?”
“Like I just said; Star Swirl doesn’t know any better. This map, this plane of existence, is beyond any mortal comprehension, even his own. I wouldn’t be surprised if even Princess Twilight considers this map nothing more than a soulless entity that just so happens to pick up certain problems that need taking care of.”
“…Well, when you put it like that, it sounds nihilistic.”
“Just putting things into perspective… Hold on. I have something.”
“Finally.”
“I picked up the Shadow’s dark energy around Hollow Shades. I haven’t confirmed it yet, but the odds are pretty likely.”
“Just keep looking. As soon as we’re sure, we’ll…! Oh, come on. Seriously?”
“What? I’m not seeing anything wrong with the map.”
“No, Star Swirl’s not doing anything to the map, thank the deities. But Princess Twilight just came in with a plan to minimize the risks of Star Swirl’s plan, and he just tossed it aside without so much as a glance!”
“Hey, calm down, alright. I’ll admit, given the circumstances, it’s not the most fair thing he’s done today, but at this point, you’re starting to get upset over something we have no control over.”
“I realize I’m beating a dead horse at this point, but part of me thinks he could use one. I mean, he just snubbed an alicorn princess, for goodness’ sake!”
“A princess whose friends have seemed to have it handled by now, so let’s focus on our task.”
“…”
“Sorry. I guess seeing Star Swirl after all these centuries has brought up some old feelings. You know I’m the more emotional of the two of us.”
“I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be angry at him. Star Swirl disregarded friendship in favor of his magical studies, a trend I’ve noticed does not end with him. But your outbursts are hindering our ability to do our jobs. Besides, if this mission ends in success, perhaps it’ll change Star Swirl for the better.”
“Not to be more of a downer than I’ve been all day, but that’s a big if. Princess Twilight’s been hanging on his every word and seeking his approval since he got back. I wouldn’t be too surprised if this ends with ‘Shadow’s Banishment: Part II.’”
“Well, Starlight seems to be the one thinking outside the box, right now, so there’s still hope.”
“…”
“Hey, wait. Try looking down there.”
“Where?”
“That well. Hollow Shade is pretty dark already, but there’s something about that well that seems… darker still.”
“Hang on… Oh, I remember this place: the Well of Shade. It was a popular hangout spot for forces dedicated to the rise of darkness. If memory serves, it’s where Stygian first accepted the power that turned him into the Pony of Shadows.”
“And if we tracked him to Hollow Shade…”
“There he is. His power is building. We need to send them now.”
“I hope you’re right about all this.”
“If you want the truth… I do too.”
“Calling everypony, your mission begins here!”
Author's Note
Remember how, in the last chapter, I said that Red's original attitude towards Starlight was a lot more vindictive but how it ultimately didn't work? I had no such qualms when it came to Star Swirl. I don't like people who hold a black-and-white view of the world, nor people who take their own assumption as indisputable fact to the point where any other information isn't worth considering. For a time, I even considered him "Worst Pony" (I don't now, partly because he seemed to have a genuine change of heart at the end, and because Neighsay is now a character).
Anyway, that's all for this season. And with the episodes we have so far for Season 8, I'm looking forward to what comes next as the mission continues.
“I think it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“Just a little something I’ve been thinking about for a while now.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”
“For the past few months, I’ve been looking into some areas further outside the Equestrian border. Manehattan and Canterlot may be rife with friendship problems, but there are places beyond Equestria that barely even grasp the concept.”
“So we just saw. Between some of the outskirt towns and even the hippogriffs, I think Equestria is probably the only country in the world where the whole idea of friendship is a given. I mean, the whole nation was founded because ponies figured out it was better to get along, for goodness’ sake.”
“Anyway, I’ve been compiling all that I’ve observed into a… let’s call it ‘secondary map.’ Something to add to the existing map when the appropriate time comes.”
“And you think that time is now…”
“While the circumstances were… less than ideal, the Storm King’s invasion did force Princess Twilight’s hoof in exploring the outside world. I don’t even think she knew half as much about the world as she does now.”
“Fair point, I guess. Not that I’m planning on sending His Storminess a thank-you card anytime soon. For more reasons than the obvious, of course.”
“I can imagine. At any rate, now that Princess Twilight and her friends are more aware of the world, I think it’s time we gave them a… larger scope for their missions.”
“…Wow. Princess Twilight’s going to have her hooves full with this.”
“It won’t be any different than when we send them on any other mission. It’ll just be outside our previous borders.”
“I realize that… Hmmm…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, I’m looking at these modifications you’re making and, well, I don’t think we have enough room to put this on our current map.”
“I was thinking we could compress the magical image and scale it appropriately.”
“Nope. Not gonna work.”
“What?”
“Look, after Starlight and Star Swirl messed with our map…”
“Are you still sore about that?”
“Not as much as I’m making it seem. But back on topic, after all that, I decided to look into how the Magical Matrix works, and, to make a long explanation short, compressing that much imagery would make the whole map unrecognizable.”
“Unrecognizable how?”
“At best, the image would be hard to identify, even when looking directly at it.”
“Wait, really?”
“Mhm.”
“…”
“So now what? Even putting aside my own bias toward this expansion, we can’t just leave a literal world blind to the true potential of friendship.”
“Well, if making the image smaller isn’t the answer, the next logical step would be to make the map bigger.”
“I… suppose we have enough room… except for maybe the thrones. They’re pushed up right next to the table.”
“Ooh, good point.”
“…”
“Wait. Those thrones grew out of the ground when the Harmony Seed was planted, right?”
“Yeeeeeaaaah…”
“Could we maybe reverse that growth for a little bit and then regrow them once we’re done?”
“…I guess that could work.”
“Let me just… adjust the temporal magic field… zero in on the thrones… try not to reverse the whole darn castle… aaannnnndd… There. That was easy.”
“I’d hate to see your definition of tricky. You barely made that work.”
“It’s called ‘sarcastic levity.’ Just do what you gotta do while I get the thrones in place for the regrowth.”
“On it. Expand the size of the table, fill in the empty space… Now that was easy.”
“Har-diddy-har. Almost got it. Going up… And done.”
“Huh. That actually looks a lot better than I would have thought.”
“Considering you didn’t really have a plan until a minute ago, that’s not saying much.”
“The point is we now have a bigger map and more missions to call for.”
“Because the backlog wasn’t big enough. Okay, where do we start?”
“Actually, I was thinking we don’t.”
“WHAT?!”
“And here I thought you weren’t nearly as excited about this as I was.”
“Keep in mind, I had to reverse time down to a single point in space, a process which is not easy, mind you, to make this happen. And you’re saying we’re not doing anything with it yet? Is there no justice to my exhaustion?!”
“…You finished?”
“…Sure. But in all seriousness, why not?”
“We have to give them time to adjust after seeing this upgrade. Maybe wait for them to make a move of their own accord after realizing the scope of the mission has changed.”
“Oh, of course. Just like we did when we first showed them the map oh, waaait…”
“That was different; we needed to let them know immediately what the map was and how it worked. Even with this upgrade, they’ll already know what to expect. And after their last adventure, I think they’ll need some rest before we start sending them out beyond Equestria again.”
“…Yeah. I mean, I know Fluttershy’s probably had enough of life-threatening adventures for the time being.”
“Or until the end of time.”
“…Okay, we’ll do it your way for now. But this ‘upgrade’ better be worth the headaches.”
Author's Note
I wish I had a good excuse as to why I waited through half of season 9 to start uploading this next set.
But it's here now.
This season was actually a lot of fun to work with, given the amount of things that happened involving the map, such as this bit right here. Be sure to look forward to some really interesting dialogues between the Watchers of the Map with these next few chapters.
“Sooooo, what are you doing right now?”
“Just going over a new mission. I think it’s time we utilize that upgrade.”
“Really? You sure you don’t want to wait a few more weeks?”
“You’re a comic genius. But it’s our duty to help Princess Twilight spread the magic of friendship. And now that her School of Friendship is getting along, I think it’s safe to say she and her friends are mentally adjusted by now.”
“Alright, then. What have you got?”
“Right here. On Mount Aeris.”
“Mount Aeris, really?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Well, it’s just that, after all that talk about 'spreading friendship across the lands beyond Equestria,’ this… kinda feels like retreading old ground. Keep in mind, the hippogriffs have restored relations with Equestria now that the Storm King is gone, and one of their own is at the school. I doubt they need to be shown friendship that badly.”
“Maybe, but I still don’t want to needlessly overwhelm anyone just yet. Much of the land is still largely unknown to most ponies, and I’d rather let them all get comfortable with working with newer species before challenging their lack of knowledge.”
“…Whatever you say. So what’s the mission? I… admittedly haven’t spent that much time looking at the new backlog.”
“Meet our target: Terramar. A hippogriff youth just a couple years younger than Silver Stream, who also happens to be his sister. Purely coincidence, I assure you.”
“So, what’s his problem? Missing his sister? Trouble adjusting to post-seapony life?”
“That last one’s actually not that far off. Do you recall what happened when Queen Novo let the hippogriffs return to the surface world?”
“Something about some ‘griffs having gotten used to life underwater?”
“As well as the queen giving them the power of the pearl to switch between forms if they so choose.”
“Right. Are you going somewhere with this?”
“At the moment, Terramar is in a fairly odd position; his father returned to the hippogriff village on the mountain, but his mother is content to live underwater. Add to this the pressure of most everygriff else having figured out where they want to live, and he’s very much torn between two worlds.”
“Hmm. Is there a law that says he has to choose?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“And what about his family? What’s their situation like?”
“Separation aside, it’s all pretty cordial. Neither his father nor mother bear any real animosity toward each other.”
“Well, there’s your answer; no consequences, no actual outside pressure, no reason to stress. His family doesn’t seem to mind overall, either. Just pick the ponies best suited to explain that to him, and he’ll be just fine.”
“I agree. The catalyst to help him understand that is his family. As they say, ‘Home is where the heart is,’ and it doesn’t get much more heartful than family. So maybe we send Applejack, possibly Rarity too. I can’t think of two ponies more dedicated to the concept of family.”
“…”
“You’ve got that look on your face. You have doubts?”
“Not with the idea, but the reasoning is… Okay, look, this is only the first time I’m hearing about this mission, which I’ve already made clear is my fault, but it sounds like his problem is more about wanting to find his place in society rather than his relationship with his family. From the looks of things, he already knows both parents love him, and that’s all either pony could offer. All he really needs to understand in that regard is that they’d have no problem with him switching back and forth on the regular.”
“…Okay, so let’s just shelve that idea for the time being and discuss other options.”
“Well, looking at Princess Twilight’s itinerary, she does seem to have some business there for Silver Stream. Maybe she could pull double duty?”
“Wouldn’t work. Whole new species, no threat of adventure; she’d be more focused on learning all she can about hippogriff culture.”
“You mean she’d geek out over it. Or maybe even use it as an excuse to take a little vacation. But yeah, I see your point.”
“Maybe Fluttershy? Perhaps a calm, soft-spoken approach would get to him?”
“Hmm… Maybe not…”
“Pardon?”
“It’s a weekend, yes?”
“What’s that got to—?! Ooooohhhhh.”
“One round of that screeching contest, and she’ll be heading for cover faster than you can say, ‘Where’d she go?’”
“Yeeeaaahh… Probably should take Pinkie Pie out of consideration too. With a full-fledged festival going on, she’ll be too busy having fun to help. Should I even bother asking about Rainbow Dash?”
“Weren’t you the one who said she has a tendency to pick sides in an otherwise nuanced conflict?”
“Oh yeah, right, back when you considered her for the Royal Sisters Mission… Maybe we could bring out the Starlight marker for this one?”
“Nah. We had Starlight go that time because of her bluntness and willingness to do whatever it takes. This is something we need to approach with a bit more tact.”
“…”
“Sooo, I guess we go back to Applejack and Rarity?”
“Hmm…”
“Okay, now you’re getting that other look on your face.”
“I may have an alternative solution…”
“I’ll probably regret this, but let’s hear it.”
“Well, after making that Starlight marker, I kind of… experimented a little bit.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m well aware of one of these ‘experiments.’”
“Yeah, well, Spike wasn’t the only one I worked with; he was just the next logical choice.”
“‘Logical.’ Riiight.”
“Drop it, will you? I said I was sorry. Anyway, I came up with a few more markers, just on the off-chance we’d need those particular ponies.”
“And which ponies would you be speaking of, specific to this moment?”
“Voila!”
“The… Cutie Mark Crusaders? Okay, first question, how’d you even manage that? They haven’t had that much direct contact or experience with the map.”
“Remember when I made those Pillar markers for the Stygian Mission by using Star Swirl’s latent memories? Let’s just say I had some practice.”
“Alright, then, next question: why?”
“Simple really: Our main problem is that Terramar doesn’t know where to fit in, that he doesn’t know his place. The Crusaders got their cutie marks by helping someone find her place, and they continue to do so to this day.”
“…There is… some merit to this…”
“Any other criticisms you wanna levy right now?”
“…Honestly, not really. I mean, it’s like you said, this is a case of someone not knowing where he belongs. I still say Terramar’s family will be the deciding factor in the success of this mission, but I suppose there’s nothing stopping the Crusaders from helping him to see that.”
“I still stand by my earlier statement: all Applejack and Rarity could offer would be the usual platitudes of the importance of family. But Terramar’s young; simple words won’t do much on their own, especially when he already agrees with the basics. With the Crusaders being young themselves, they’ll be more likely to take more direct action and bring the experience of family to the forefront.”
“Might take them a while, though. As you just said, they’re young, younger than Terramar, even.”
“It’s not like they’d be going alone; like I also said, Princess Twilight was going to have to go to Mount Aeris eventually. If the Crusaders get stuck, she’ll probably sort them out.”
“…I have to admit, I’m finding fewer and fewer reasons to disagree with this.”
“So we’re good, then?”
“We’ll try it. I’m still keeping Applejack and Rarity on standby, though. If nothing else, they would certainly be willing to help their sisters.”
“Fair deal. Let’s do this.”
“Your idea, so I’ll let you have the honor of starting us off.”
“Okay then. Calling Applebloom.”
“Calling Sweetie Belle.”
“Calling Scootaloo.”
“Your mission begins here!”
The Sire's Hollow Mission
“Hmmm…”
“Something wrong?”
“Just looking into something.”
“Do you mind?”
“…”
“Sunburst?”
“I’ve been keeping an eye on him ever since Flurry Heart’s Crystalling. I mean, anyone with a connection to two, possibly three, princesses is probably worth keeping an eye on. Anyway, I’ve taken note of a… somewhat troubling habit.”
“Which would be…?”
“Allow me to direct your attention to this obscenely large pile of letters, all addressed from the same pony, one Stellar Flare.”
“And from the looks of things, all unopened.”
“I mean, I can sympathize with the guy to an extent. But I don’t think I’d leave my own mother hanging for that long.”
“Ah. That would definitely be a problem. You happen to know why he’s avoiding her?”
“Oh, Mrs. Flare has this habit of trying to push him into planning out his entire future, with little respect for his own feelings on the matter.”
“So, it’s a case of mutually assured unfriendliness, then.”
“Well, whatever you call it, it’s not a unique problem. Starlight Glimmer seems to have some parental issues too.”
“Amazing how those two are so different yet connected by similar fates.”
“I wouldn’t call it like that; her problem with her father, Firelight, is that he seems to be stuck in some phase where his daughter never really grew up in his eyes.”
“Hmm. Let me take a look at this.”
“…”
“Well, the good news is the parents are still acting like proper parents. I mean, if you squint hard enough, but it is there. It’s just the methods that are off.”
“Still doesn’t address the problem at heart: Both families are straining right now, and neither side is making the first move towards reparation.”
“Is it really that important, though? Sure, it’s a problem, but I’m not sure why you’re so invested in this.”
“Call me a sympathetic fool. I’ve been keeping an eye on these two for a while now; I’m just looking out for them.”
“…”
“…You’re not thinking…?”
“I know what you’re going to say, but this is different.”
“Oh, really? Well, let me refresh your memory, just in case. I go to the Cosmosymposium to meet and talk business with all the other entities, leave you to keep an eye on things, and when I come back, I find you’ve not only started a friendship mission without discussing it first, but said mission ends up being the fault of the one you called, and it just makes everything worse than if you’d left well enough alone.”
“…We could argue that last statement all day…”
“The point is, the last time you called someone who started their own problem, it just barely succeeded, and only by a fluke.”
“Look, I’m not going to say it was the smartest idea to have Spike’s first friendship mission basically amount to saying, ‘Get your act together.’ But I assure you, it really is different this time.”
“Aside from the number of ponies, how is this any different?”
“Well, for one thing, the town both parents live in, Sire’s Hollow, is suffering from a large case of anachronistic feuding.”
“…Okay, what?”
“Turns out Firelight and Stellar Flare weren’t satisfied with just subjecting their kids to their behaviors. Half the town is so preserved it’s collecting dust, and the other half won’t sit still for two minutes with all the innovations going around. Firelight wants to remain stuck in the past, and Stellar is all about moving forward. And neither side will compromise.”
“I… guess that’s something that should be addressed soon.”
“Oh, look, someone’s opening the gate.”
“Welcome to Sire’s Hollow.”
“And it does that…?”
“Every time someone opens it.”
“…Okay, putting aside the whole parent thing, this needs to end now.”
“And speaking of the parent thing, are you really going to tell me that their relationships should end because of something like this? Yeah, Firelight needs to see Starlight as grown up, and Stellar should probably stop trying to control Sunburst’s life, but is either case really a legitimate excuse for children to never speak to their parents again?”
“…I’ll say this much: it’s a lot more logical than the Spike Mission.”
“I take it I have your blessing this time?”
“This is why we needed to discuss it the last time, so we could come to an understanding. And right now, that understanding is that everything concerning this town, both in and out of it, needs to be fixed.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I do have one more concern, though.”
“Knew it couldn’t be that easy.”
“What about Sunburst? We already have the Starlight marker, but we don’t…”
“…”
“You already made one for Sunburst, didn’t you?”
“Compared to the CMC, this one was much easier, given how much time he spent around the map during the Stygian Mission.”
“Okay, then, no more questions. Let’s do this.”
“Calling Starlight Glimmer.”
“Calling Sunburst.”
“Your mission begins here!”
Author's Note
When I first saw this episode, I had two thoughts in regards to this story:
I think I made a pretty good attempt, all things considered. For those of you who were disappointed with no mention of the Spike Mission, I hope this provides a hint of closure. And for those of you who think this is a cheap cop-out... Well, at least you can't say I didn't try.
“WE’VE GOT A BREACH!”
“Whoa! What… Don’t startle me like that!”
“This is an emergency! Someone’s using the map from the outside!”
“…To what extent?”
“Currently, Princess Twilight and all her friends are on their way to the map because they think we called them.”
“Wait, what? Are you serious?”
“After the last two times someone tampered with our map, you really think I’d joke about it?”
“Let me see that.”
“…”
“Well, I have good news and bad news.”
“Give me the good. We already know the bad.”
“The good news is it isn’t actually the map.”
“…What?”
“There may be six markers floating above… somewhere. But it isn’t our magic that’s doing it. Whatever it is, it’s an outside influence one hundred percent, right down to the magic that made these markers.”
“Then why can we see it?”
“Whatever we do here affects the map on their plane of existence. It’s only natural that the reverse holds true.”
“…Okay. So, what’s the bad news then? I mean, I thought it would be something like, ‘Something’s tampering with the Magical Matrix.’ But if what you’re saying is true…”
“The bad news is, because it’s not our magic, we can’t do anything about it.”
“…That might actually be worse… Do we know what kind of magic it is?”
“Without much evidence, I can only assume it’s some form of a glamour spell. But I’m having a hard time figuring out where it’s coming from.”
“Maybe Chrysalis is back? This wouldn’t be the first time she’s tried to get back at everyone, especially recently.”
“Nah. She’d have to have knowledge of the map and how it works, and I don’t think she knows anything about that.”
“That… really narrows the field. A little too narrow. How many ponies, or whatever, really, both know about the map and would dare use it like this?”
“Hmm…”
“What about Discord?”
“I mean, I guess it’s an option, but…!”
“…”
“Please tell me that was you who said that.”
“I was about to ask you the same thing, actually.”
“…”
“Hellooo.”
“…”
“…Excuse me. I’m just going to go over here for a second. Maybe bang my head against the map until I wake up from what is clearly a bad dream.”
“…”
“Cheerful sort, huh?”
“In all fairness, we’ve had… issues with outside forces messing with our map before. This is just the most extreme it’s gotten.”
“I’d ask how you got here, but I know it’d be a lost cause.”
“So, Discord, you mind telling us what you think you’re doing?”
“Well, if you must know…”
“We must. Believe me, we must.”
“…I’m planning a little something for Twilight’s School of Friendship, and such a plan involves her and her little posse not being there for it.”
“…Wow. That answer was so vague, I can hardly believe you think I’d accept that. What exactly are you ‘planning?’”
“Oh, must you be so suspicious?”
“We must. Believe me, we must.”
“Repetition is not an attractive quality, I’ll have you know.”
“Just stop avoiding the question, Discord. Let me warn you right now; your tampering with the map, even if not in so direct a fashion, constitutes a crime of a higher order than most mortal creatures would dare to imagine. You may be the Spirit of Chaos, but that doesn’t protect you from forces more powerful than myself enacting what they would see as proper punishment. And let’s not forget that your history with Equestria is sketchier than a magic kindergarten art project. So, if you want to remain on our good side, you’ll tell us why you’re doing this now.”
“You truly are persistent, you know that?”
“…”
“Fine, fine. Truth be told, the fact that Twilight has yet to include me in this little school of hers just doesn’t sit right with me. After all, I am a friend, the friend of a friend at the very least. You’d think I could make for a substitute or a guest teacher. But no, instead it’s, ‘Discord? Why I’ve never heard of such a fellow. And even if I did, I see no reason for him to be here.’”
“…”
“Okay, three things. One: never put the princess’ face over your face again; that’s just creepy. Two: you’re exaggerating her thought process on the matter, and you know it. And three (and this is the important part): that is the textbook definition of petty!”
“Maybe it is. But can you honestly say it’s right for a ‘friendship school’ to not include all your friends, especially if it would add some variety and diversity to the mix?”
“…I mean, you’re not wrong…”
“Not right, either.”
“Well, it’s not like we could do much at this point anyway. And I guess it’s an explanation, at least one that won’t lead to heavy repercussions for you. Provided, of course, that Princess Twilight and the rest will be safe.”
“…Well, I can’t promise they won’t get roughed up a little…”
“This is not filling me with confidence.”
“…but I can promise that they will all arrive back to Ponyville alive and well.”
“And we have your word on this?”
“Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a scout.”
“I believe this says otherwise.”
“…What’s this, a picture?”
“We had it painted just before the end of the summer. A good 500 years before Luna and Kay-Kay came along.”
“Never knew you had younger years. Hm. Pony Scouts, Troupe #83.”
“Wait, 83? Let me look at that.”
“You really expect us to believe this?”
“My, my, aren’t we doubtful of everything today? Very well, then consider this: Fluttershy is also going to be there; do you honestly think I’d let her come to harm for my own pettiness?”
“…I guess I can’t argue with that, but…
“…”
“Um, why are you looking at him like that?”
“Yes, I must admit, it’s making me very uncomfortable.”
“…”
“…Where is the stash hidden?”
“…Where the full moon howls at midnight.”
“…Okay, he’s clean.”
“What?!”
“Why thank you. It’s so nice to see that someone knows my word is worth something. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a school to attend. Ta.”
“…”
“What just happened?!”
“Let’s just say that only a true member of Troupe 83 would know that answer.”
“Wait, you were in the Pony Scouts?”
“Part of my mortal immersion training. Weren’t you?”
“…I just took art classes.”
“…”
“So, what was that about a stash?”
“Sorry, troupe secret.”
“…Discord, I hate you.”
Author's Note
As you can probably tell, I had a lot of fun writing this.
Also, apologies to any Scout Troupe identified as 83; I was never a scout in any capacity myself, and this was merely written as yet another joke for this chaotic occurrence.
Edit (9-2-19): I added the purple text for Discord's Twilight impression, which is something I forgot to do in the original upload.
“This… is a development.”
“What’s up?”
“I noticed some kind of magical anomaly, so I’ve been looking into it to try to find out what it is.”
“Is it going to affect the map? Because, after the last incident, I don’t think my heart can take any more of that.”
“Which one? Star Swirl or Discord?”
“Yes.”
“… Fair point. Well, to answer your question, the map only detected the anomaly, and given what I’ve just learned of its source, I doubt we have to worry. Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Between Starlight’s time travel plot and Star Swirl’s magical interference, I’ve learned to be a little cautious.”
“And yet you still think we have nothing to worry about?”
“Again, given the source, I can’t say there’s any immediate danger.”
“And that source would be…?”
“Here.”
“The… Tree of Harmony?”
“It certainly explains how we detected the anomaly in the first place. I mean, it makes sense, right? When the Pillars first planted the Tree, we’ve since coexisted in a sort of symbiotic relationship; we use the Tree’s magic to observe Equestria and the rest of the world to send the girls on missions, and we provide it with the power it needs to sustain itself.”
“I guess. Still, Tree or no Tree, I’m gonna give the Matrix the once-over just in case.”
“Your call.”
“So, do we know what this magic is doing?”
“Well, I couldn’t figure that out until I knew what we were dealing with. So, with that step out of the way…”
“…Okay, now I’ve seen everything. And I’ve traveled through time and space.”
“It certainly is… interesting…”
“Really? The Tree of Harmony takes on a life force of its own to magically project an image of Princess Twilight, and you call that merely ‘interesting?’”
“Let’s just see what it’s doing before we decide if we should worry about this or not.”
“…”
“…I don’t know about you, but I’m still confused.”
“Looks like it’s testing the students on their friendship mettle.”
“Why, though?”
“My guess is, as the harbinger of peace and harmony throughout Equestria, it wants to…!”
“No no no, I mean, why those six in particular? And how did they even get in this position in the first place?”
“…I don’t know.”
“Let me try something. I’m just gonna rewind the view a little bit…”
“You can do that?”
“I may or may not have experimented with time magic since the Upgrade. Small scale stuff, though, not enough to affect the physical plane… Okay, here looks good… Ah, study groups. The ultimate strain on the brain.”
“And tensions running just a little higher than normal…”
“…And Cozy Glow.”
“Ah.”
“Look, I get that she’s just a kid, but doesn’t that make it all the more urgent to set her on the right path?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t see a situation where we can do anything about it. Even if we call Princess Twilight, or anyone really, the last place they’re going to think to check for a friendship problem is a school devoted to friendship. And Cozy does play off the innocent act very well.”
“If you say so. Personally, I think she lays it on a little thick. It’s a wonder nopony’s even looked into it.”
“There is one more thing: I honestly think, and I hate myself for even daring to consider this, she’s probably beyond help at this point.”
“…Wow. And here I thought I was the one for hyperbole.”
“Bear in mind that her pen pal is Lord Tirek himself, and she’s young and impressionable. She’s also at just that age where she thinks she’s got it figured out, and woe to the poor soul who would try to say otherwise.”
“So, that’s it, then? We just give up on her?”
“Again, I don’t like it either. But there are too many factors against us. Maybe things will work out for the better, maybe not.”
“You ask me, I’m leaning toward ‘not.’ But you are the one who usually has the answers, so I guess I shouldn’t push this further. Let’s just move the clock forward now.”
“…”
“And this explains how they found themselves with the Tree at all; it came to them.”
“I didn’t even realize these tunnels existed. For all we know, the Tree has been gathering magic for something like this for a long time.”
“Wait, if these tunnels exist, and these students just happened to find it by accident…”
“Actually, it looks like it sort of… called them there.”
“Maybe, but do you really think it’ll stay a secret for long? Imagine if Cozy gets wind of this. And given how approachable she makes herself, it’s all too likely.”
“…You… might have a point there. I’ll… look into some options. But I can’t promise much, if anything.”
“Just do what you can. I’d just feel better knowing that, if things do go south, it’s not because we didn’t attempt anything.”
Author's Note
On the one hand, I'm glad stuff like this happens; it gives me more to do than just the usual "here's how we justify this friendship mission team" bit.
Oh, and while we're on the subject of the Tree of Harmony, I can't really come up with a way to incorporate the events of "School Raze" into this story, seeing as how the Tree was the real focal point, rather than any connection it has to the map.
The Peaks of Peril Mission
“Sooooo, how’s the Matrix looking?”
“Well, you were right. Even between Discord’s plot and the Tree’s sudden sentience, everything looks pretty good.”
“You say that like I’m supposed to be surprised.”
“You asked, I answered. Either way, though, I think we should probably get another mission going, partly to make absolutely sure it works, and partly because I want to do something with the backlog before we get any more surprises.”
“It has been a while, I’ll agree with you on that. And I can’t say these maintenance checks have done much for us in that regard.”
“I know, I know. But given everything that’s happened to the map in the past, can you blame me?”
“Maybe not, but there is such a thing as too cautious. Let me just pull up the backlog…”
“So what looks good right now?”
“Well, I want to send the girls somewhere different this time. By now, I think they’ve adjusted to life with non-pony species, so exposing them to newer creatures wouldn’t be an unwelcome prospect.”
“Might as well.”
“…Hmm. I might have something.”
“What’cha got?”
“The Peaks of Peril, home to the kirin.”
“‘Peaks of Peril,’ huh? Who came up with that name?”
“Oh, you know, one pony gets into a bad experience with a nirik, and suddenly the whole mountain is dangerous.”
“Ah, a case a of ‘accentuate the negative.’”
“You can say that again. By the time the Pillars were active, all anyone knew about the place was the mere existence of kirin and nirik.”
“But back to the present…”
“Have you actually read up on some of these missions?”
“I’ve skimmed the basics. The entire kirin village has gone completely silent out of some self-imposed mandate to prevent them from going nirik. Talk about your overreactions.”
“Like you said, a case of ‘accentuate the negative.’”
“And doing so has caused not just total silence, but a nearly complete inhibition of their emotions. I mean, I can get a little riled up from time to time…”
“Starswirlthebearded.”
“Hush, you. But even I wouldn’t want to just not feel. Life’s just more worth it if you can appreciate what it has to offer, and even the negative emotions help to define what makes us feel good.”
“Preaching to the choir. Now we just need someone to preach to them.”
“Okay, so, right away, I’m thinking we need someone who won’t beat around the bush. This is something that needs to be said directly.”
“You’re not wrong, but there does need to be some nuance. Telling the kirin they’re wrong is one thing. Telling them why they’re wrong will make for a more convincing argument.”
“So, off the top of my head, I’ve got it down to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, possibly Pinkie Pie.”
“And out of all of them, Applejack is the only one who has the best chance of getting the message across without being overbearing about it.”
“That’s one down. Do we need anyone else?”
“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have someone on backup. Applejack can still be a little hardheaded, so having someone to temper that attitude could be helpful.”
“There’s also one more thing we need to consider: how to fix the problem. If what I’ve read is true, this isn’t just some professional quiet game; it’s magically induced.”
“You’re probably right. Let’s take a look around the mountain.”
“…”
“Hold up! I think I saw something.”
“…Looks like another kirin. What’s she doing this far from the village?”
“According to our files, her name is Autumn Blaze. Hang on, I’m gonna rewind the clock.”.
“…”
“Exile, huh? Do you see why?”
“Rewinding a little farther… Sweet deities, she can talk.”
“We have our solution, then. How’d she do it?”
“Let’s see here… Found it. Looks like an herbal remedy.”
“Using foal’s breath flowers. Of course, it’s so obvious.”
“Foal’s breath? What’s that?”
“A rather uncommon flower, and not well known unless you’re a botanist or a medical specialist. It has an innate magic to it that, essentially, reverses an afflicted patient to their original state.”
“So, the silence was the affliction…”
“…And the flowers reversed it. It’s our best bet. If the kirin are going to talk again, they’ll need those flowers.”
“Let me look around… And we’ve got a hit. Turns out they make for great nesting material too.”
“Sounds like the choice here is obvious. And it solves our other problem.”
“I guess Fluttershy would be the best voice of reason we could hope for. I mean, it worked out for the Las Pegasus… Oh my gosh, I just realized; this is the first repeat group we’ve ever had.”
“Is that really important?”
“I’ll bet you bits to broccoli I won’t be the only one who notices. Or cares.”
“Whatever. The point is we now have our group. I think the kirin are in good hooves.”
“Then let’s do it. Calling Applejack.”
“Calling Fluttershy.”
“Your mission begins here!”
Author's Note
Only one more season to go folks. Hopefully we get more map related episodes, though, otherwise, this last set of chapters will be rather lacking.
And of course, I still have to find a way to end this thing. I mean, barring the series ending on "the friendship mission to end all friendship missions," I can't leave it on the last mission, now can I?
And so my streak of chronically challenged uploads continues, it seems.
