The Voices (In My Head Again)

“Morning sleepyhead, wakey wakey eggs and wheaty!” Twilight chants as she opens the curtains in Sketch’s room.

“Noooo the light, it burns us!”Sketch says in his impression of Gollum and Smeagol.

“What are you talking about?”

“Movie reference lost on a talking farm animal, why didn’t I see that coming.”

“I am not a farm animal, I am a scholar.”

“Still the joke has failed to reach you.”

“And what was that voice you said it in?” Twilight asks.

“I have a few movies I need to show you later.”

“What kind of movies?”

“Awesome ones.”

“Fine, but first I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Your species is unknown to our world and I want to learn all about it, not just it’s accomplishments but its downfalls as well.”

“Well To sum it up we were the dominant species on the planet and the only sentient species as well, meaning ponies like yourselves were nothing but pets for little kids.”

“And I take it the putting them out to stud was a real thing, not just something you made up on the fly?”

“Yup.”

“Wow, that’s so...wrong.”

“Yeah but the animals didn’t care, to them it was just another way of having foals that were later used as racing horses, we did the same thing with dogs. No animal was safe from our kind.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Wait til you hear what we did to each other, that will make the animal killing look cute and fluffy.” And so Sketch explains the whole of the history of the human race from a scientist’s point of view and focuses on the most recent years, eighteen hundred to twenty seventeen.

“You elected a businessman ruler of your country, and by extension, the most powerful military in the world?” Twilight asks incredulously.

“I didn't vote for the guy, but hey, he is a businessman so he knew how to sell himself to the American people.”

“I guess, I just hope that never happens here .”

“With Luna around I doubt it.”

“Why her, why not Celestia?”

“Cause Luna, from what I saw, dealt with the worst of it, weird ponies come out at night and she’s the one who deals with them and all the other nobles who think their petty little problems matter but when in the grand scheme of things nothing they do will matter, we all die, and that’s about it. Except for Luna, she’s awesome.”

“Celestia's better.”Twilight mumbles.

“Anyways, so anything else you want to know?” Sketch asks now fully awake due to the impromptu history lecture.

“Well I was interested in the video games you mention, so you created worlds and controlled people and made them do things like drive cars-”

“Or drive the wrong way on the road and cause a seventeen car pile up.”

“Why would you do that?! You’re crazy!”

“It’s a video game, everything in it is fake, nothing is real, there are no repercussions for what you do, no one really gets hurt.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am, plus if causing car accidents in games did affect living things I doubt they would’ve been legal.”

“Good point.”

“Sorry I didn’t mention that first.”

“It’s okay, I should’ve asked.” Twilight points out

“Yup.” Sketch replies.” So can we have eggs for breakfast again?”

“Fine… But you’re cooking them this time.”

“I can live with that.” He says as he stands up, popping his back as the blanket fell off of him.

“I’m kind of glad your people wear clothes twenty-four seven, I don’t think I want to know what you got down there.”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, stallions don’t exactly hide their junk you know.”

“You look?!”

“Bad habit, seen a few things I wish I hadn’t and others, well, let’'s just say there are a few that keep me up at night in terror.” Sketch adds “you guys really should wear pants too.”

“Fine, just don’t look at me.”

“Don’t worry, no interest.”

“And why is that?” Twilight for some reason takes offense to this.

“Simple, you may be sentient but to me, you are still a spitting image of a pony from back home, minus the color pallette and human-esq face. I’m only interested in making friends with you guys while I’m stuck here, example one, Luna.”

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“It’s okay, you just stay adorkable and you will find somepony who thinks of you like that.” At this Twilight blushes slightly. “Now for food!” Sketch shouts as he picks up Twilight by her barrel and carries her to the kitchen.

“Why do you pick me up every time?”

“Cause you are like a soft stuffed animal except for the fact that you're sentient, plus I like cute things.”

“Aww, thanks.”

“No problem, after I make the candy for Jon wanna build a pillow fort?”

“For someone older than me and just as smart you are highly immature”

“Yeah and it is really really fun to be immature, I’ll help you build Bookfort One.”

“Really?! I er- mean, no we have experiments to run and-”

“Too late, we are building Bookfort One and Pillowfort Alpha.”And so the candy had to wait for they were building their epic domiciles from which they would rule over their respective kingdoms and govern their people as they see fit. For years to come the regality of book fort one would be known through all lands, and the military might of Pillowfort Alpha would cause even the most fearsome dragon to cower in their wake. But alas Bookfort One and Pillowfort Alpha could only last so long before a war broke out and-

“What are you doing in here?” Spike asks as he watches Twilight hurl novels at sketch who retaliates via a pillow to the face at Twilight.

“Fighting a war that will be known throughout the ages as Pillowfort alpha and Bookfort One wage an epic war beyond the scope of common man.” Sketch dictates.

“Weird, cause all I see is you throwing pillows at Twilight and her throwing novels at you, just clean up when you’re done, I am not cleaning this mess up.”

“You can be the leader of Dragon Keep and rule over the people of your land with comics.” Sketch points out.

“Okay, I’ll play along…”

And so the war between Bookfort One and Pillowfort Alpha was ended as Dragon Keep entered the world stage, peace was made, lives were spared and a lot of cider was to be had by all