“Sorry I’m late Mocha, Steel told me I need to make the candy at night and I made candy at night, made Twilight blush with music about genitals, and more than I can explain in one breath!” Sketch breathes heavily as he runs in with four large bags full of the candy covered coffee beans.

Mocha didn’t seem to mind that the new employee was late, “Oh don’t worry about it, business hasn’t been slammed today cause there’s another party going on somewhere in Ponyville.” He says as he climbs across the counter, “Just glad to have a friend over!”

“I can only stay for an hour til Steel Pride needs my help… well, he doesn’t need it but it makes things go faster.”

Mocha sighs a little and he tries to hold in his loneliness, but he does understand that he has other commitments “Oh, okay, I understand.”

“Okay what’s wrong, I can hear it in your voice.”

Mocha looks nervous and stutters, “Oh, it’s nothing… I just like having you around.”

“Then you are going to want to come to an event I am planning and can you keep something a secret?”

Mochas surprised and doesn’t know how to respond, nopony had ever really tried to invite him to something special before, “Really? What is it?”

“When I went to bed last night I found out something about my trench coat, when I was crushed by the light that killed me initially it should have torn the coat and when I jumped into bed carelessly I heard it tear. I looked back at it in terror as I tore the last one of its kind in Equestria yet I saw it mend itself with my own eyes! Also, I am planning a party when I will introduce you ponies to my kind of music.”

Mocha is a little perplexed by this, he wasn’t sure how to react because he has a bad track record with trying new things… But somepony actually wants to share his personal interests with him and then invites him to a party! He can’t turn this down, “Oh yeah sure!!! Sign me up!”

“Also you’re going to be singing along with me!”

“Really?” He is more than excited at this opportunity, he has always wanted to be a famous pop singer, “I love singing and I know this spell that can make my voice do this! ” He said as his horn lights up and his voice suddenly becomes auto-tuned.

“Not bad, I’m just going to sing along with my palm top, also another discovery I made last night, and this one is a little freaky.”

“Really? What does it sound like?” He asks as he cartoonishly hops over the countertop again and goes to the espresso machine to make himself a drink.

“Ignoring your statement and assuming you asked about the freaky one, I have hammer space powers…”

“What’s that?”

“Well I reached in my pocket my hand didn’t reach the bottom until I jabbed myself on one of my knives I left back in my apartment, the only thing I can think of is that whatever force brought me here altered my trenchcoat with minor enchantments for my convenience since I’m in a new world. Of course, I’m pulling most of this speculation out of my ass and have no evidence to support my claims.”

Mocha just stares at the man with eyes wide, blinks a few times, and just nonchalantly sips his coffee… “Oh… Okay… I’m not really sure how to respond to that... “ He says nervously, “I guess the important thing is you tried?” He jokingly adds.

“Well wanna see something to prove my point?” Sketch asks rhetorically as he reaches his whole arm into his trenchcoat pocket and pulls out a long katana and places it on the counter.

Mocha gasps in excitement as he snatches the sword and starts swinging it around like a kid, “Oh my goodness that is so cool!” He says as he leaps past the counter again and acts like a samurai, “Can you do that with other stuff?”

“I tried something bigger like my laptop but I can only pull out things that can physically fit in and out of the pocket’s five inch opening so larger items are a no go but I was able to get my palmtop, a few knives, some swords and various other items to decorate my room, and apparently they can be altered to fit in the pocket. Like for example, a poster on my wall is thirty-six by twenty-four, too big to my pocket, so I imagined it rolled up into a cylinder and boom! New poster!”

Mocha carelessly tosses the sword away from him, not bothering to look where he's throwing it… And rushes right over to the human, “Okay I gotta try this!” He says as he reached his own hoof into his pocket, “Okay, I’m thinking of… Um, Uh, Oh! A packet of my favorite cotton candy flavored gum!” He says as he pulls out… Empty hoofed… “Ah man…”

“Yeah, I’m going to have Twilight study my coat and maybe we can find out through that how I got here and how I was resurrected.Hey, while I’m here wanna listen to some music or shall I make a fool of myself and do karaoke? Don’t worry, I Have no shame or dignity.”

“Oh, I would love to try that…” He says as he tries reaching again, pulls out again and was also empty hoofed, “But we may need to wait, we have a customer…” He says as he points to the door and revealed Big Macintosh walking in… And reaches into his pocket one last time… “Hold on I got something…” He says as he pulled out a pack of gum, “Hey there we… Oh man… It’s a knock off brand…” He says as he throws it away.

“I hate most gum...except unnecessarily large amounts of bubble gum, then I can blow huge bubbles.”

“I have a bad habit of swallowing after only thirty seconds of chewing.” He says as he lunges back behind the counter and rubs his mane to straighten it for Big Mac.

“Let me see if I can pull out some condoms from my pocket…”

“Condoms? What are you talking ab…?” He nervously questions until he saw Big Mac come in, “Oh hey Big Mac! How was the trip outta town?” He says as he started making Big Mac’s usual order, looking annoyingly at the human for what he just said.

“Eeyup.” He says as he takes the drink and was completely oblivious to the tension between the two. “I met a special somepony.”

Mocha’s face widens in surprise… “Oh really…?” He says as he turns on the steamer on the espresso machine, “Got a name? Or is it one of those hipsters who chooses to identify only using the pronoun ‘I’?”

“Sugar Belle, Eeyup she’s pretty and sweet like sugar cane.” He says as he wipes the steam from the air.

“Good for you big guy, when’s the wedding?”

Mocha bumps him on the shoulder for making that comment, “Ignore him, he’s crazy and likely to fall into a never ending vortex in his pants…” He says as he turns the steamer off, “Well, I’m, well, I’m glad you found your special somepony, you deserve it.” Mocha says as he looks down and scratches the back of his mane. “Maybe we could meet her someday.” He says with a clear tone of his voice that he is disappointed.

Sketch leans down to Mocha’s ear and whispers “Maybe he might consider a three-way.”

Mocha rolls his eyes and shakes up a can of whip cream and points it at Sketch, “Your next move will have consequences…” He whispers back.

“Does talking count as moving?” Sketch quotes.

“So Big Mac, remember when I invited you to maybe go ice skating later, you never answered me, but I’m guessing the answer is gonna be…”

“Nope.”

Mocha sighs, “Saw that coming.”

“Sorry there Jon, I got plans with ma sisters then we gots ta make plans for Sugar Bell’s visit Sweet Apple Acers, maybe some other time." Big Mac replies as he takes his drink, waves goodbye and leaves.

“Hooray…” Mocha cheers as he takes a deep breath, “Okay hold on one moment, I need to get something from the walk-in fridge…”

“Maybe you can you can find another guy, ah who am I kidding this place is the exact opposite of a sausage fest.”

Mocha does not hear what he said as he closes the walk-in door, at first there is complete silence until suddenly a loud, ‘AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!’ can be heard through the walls… Following, Mocha walks back out with a more straight face, “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“Damn man, loud much?”

“I’m sorry but everypony I think is cute never finds interest back in me!” Mocha yells as he takes out a jelly packet from the bagel shelf and places it on the counter, “Is it too much to ask for a nice stallion to want another stallion for once!?” He asks as he smashes his hoof on the packet and purple goo flies across the room.

“Trust me I know the feel bro, one example of my affairs ended after 3 years, she got her friend to break up with me for her through a letter and then I never saw or heard from her again. Ever since that day I have been alone...Life sucks.”

“At least you had a marefriend, I can’t get a stallion to even notice me and I’ve been trying for moons…” He says as he cartoonishly bangs his head on the counter, “Okay I want to change the subject, are you and Twilight still getting along?”

“Yup, but I wanna prank her so bad her foals will remember it.”

“Okay pause!” Mocha yells as he flips and turned around, “There’s a prank going on, tell me everything!”

Sketch leans down and whispers the details in his ear and a huge grin appears on his face as he does so.

“Okay, Pause!!!” Mocha says as he flips over the counter and grabs the katana and somersaults back, “Okay I want NO part in this!”

“Man, you are one acrobatic party pooper, you still up for singing in the concert before hand though?”

“ You know it! “ Mocha says, again using his horn to auto tune his voice.

“Yeah plus the ink will stain your coat something awful, plus how would I fake both of our deaths?”

Mocha swings the sword around to silence Sketch, “I said I want NO PART in it!” He says as he lungs back behind the counter and starts blending a frappe, “Seriously, Twilight barely knows I exist, if she knew I helped you with THAT, she would never let me hang out with her and her friends.”

“Eh, I’m just in this for the lulz.”

Mocha rolls his eyes in response, “Fine, just leave my name off everything, I have nothing to do with it.” He says as he pours the frappe into a cup, “And also, please don’t mention to anypony, especially Twilight and her friends, that I’m a Colt Cuddler, I just know they’ll think I’m a freak.”

“Dude, they probably care about that as little as I do.”

“Okay, so if I told your friends you liked dating men, they wouldn’t make fun of you?” Mocha asks with a mixture of sarcasm and genuine concern for his self-esteem.

“Mine didn’t.”

“You told them you’re gay? I thought you’re straight?”

"Nah I go both ways I keep my options open, but if I had to be with a guy they would have to be feminine or androgynous and human, no ponies.”

“That’s… Good to know…” He says while thinking about how another male isn’t attracted to him at all, “Just know I wouldn’t date a human either…” He sarcastically adds.

“Good to know you won’t take advantage of me when I’m drunk, speaking of which…” Sketch says as he pulls out a flask and drinks heavily from it.

Mocha rolls his eyes and takes the flask, “No drinking on the job please.” He says as he dumps the liquid out of the flask into the sink.

"Haha! Jokes on you!” Sketch says as he pulls out another flask and this time keeps it out of the stallion’s reach.

“Haha, jokes on you, I’m a unicorn…” He says as his horn lights up and the flask begins to fly away… Only for the magic to short out much before the flask could get very far… “Dangit, curse this small horn…”

“Suck it, I got more, let me tell you how this happened…” Sketch says as he takes a swig of vodka from his flask and leans down to pony level. "I was digging through my coat and when I reached in I could feel a lot of stuff so I grabbed and just started pulling stuff out, and and I have an infinite amount of things I can pull out so hence infinite vodka.”

.”Okay, Pause!” Mocha says for the third time this hour as he lifts his hoof up like he's giving the pause hand, “You already told me that.” He says as he reaches back into those pockets and cartoonishly falls into them arm deep…

“Going in arm deep aye?” Sketch narrates as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“I know what this looks like… But this was an accident…” He says as he pulls back. “And I know all about accidents, I myself was one.” He jokingly says, once again not being afraid to make jokes about himself.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Also wanna hear something you will like?”

“No, I was hoping to hear that my pet badger has rabies and had to be put down by means of electric shock…” He sarcastically responds.

“Reach deep in my pocket and go for the lower left-hand side and push aside the vodka bottles and grab the first thing you can.”

“Uh… Okay…?” He says as he reaches again… cartoonishly falling in again… “Woah…!” He yells, but eventually after rattling, he did manage to find something and pulled it out… “Okay… if this is one of those spring snake can pranks I’m gonna be mad… Then laugh.”

“I promise it is something that you specifically will like.”

Mocha finally pulls it out and looks at the mysterious object…

“Open it up and take a whiff.”

Mocha is afraid the thing would be a bag filled with old socks or something when he was told to smell it (which admittedly he would like…) But when he finally sniffs it, he recognizes the sweet flavor and knows it is one of the hardest to find, “Oh my Celestia! You have White Chocolate Coffee!?”

“Yeah my friend worked at a coffee shop and I had him order it special for me, they would add in a few extra bags to their order every month and I would pay for the bags at wholesale value and the shipping cost, way cheaper than ordering it direct.”

“So you’re saying I can get free White Chocolate Cappuccinos whenever I want now?” He inquires as he takers the bag and instantly starts a batch, “Okay you’re never getting fired!”

“Ha and like I said it is an infinite supply so before I’m late navigate your way through my pocket and pull out as much white chocolate coffee as you can.”

“I don’t know which parts of that offer sound better!” He jokes as he reaches again… This time reaching down so deep that he completely falls into the pocket yelling in shock, before bouncing out completely from the other pocket in a cartoonish manner, knocking over a chair upon landing.

"You fell in...the pocket isn’t even that fucking big, how the hell did you manage that? Pony physics?” Sketch asks scratching his head…”What was it like in there?”

“All I can say is…” He says as he stands back up and brushes himself off, “I can finally understand how Pinkie Pie works now…”

“Oh yeah, Pink pony...Please don’t tell her or anyone else about this yet. I have plans for this.”

“Don’t worry, I’m worried if SHE finds out about those, she’ll go mad with power!” He says as he jumps back behind the counter, “Hey, I gotta ask, does Twilight or her friends ever, you know, talk about me?”

“I don’t hang with them much, I do my own thing, plus I wanna prank em so the less I’m near them the less they will suspect anything, it will be out of left field.”

“But you live with Twilight, I mean hasn’t she ever at least asked anything like, ‘That sounds fun, you should invite Mocha Jon’ or ‘Hey that reminds me of when Mocha once…’ or anything?”

“I dunno. Wait...I think I know what’s going on here.” Sketch says as a grin forms on his face.

“What? I don’t have a crush on Twilight! I’m more likely to have a crush on Spike!” He says rather defensively.

“One that’s creepy, and B you wanna be her bestest friend don’t you?”

“What? No! I mean sure I would like it if she and her friends would maybe I don’t know, invited me to hang out with them and maybe go out bowling or ice skating or rock climbing or… Okay yes, I imagine being part of her group all the time!” He says as he defeatedly slams his head on the counter.

“I’m not in that group either, right now she is just studying me like I am some exotic animal, we aren’t really friends.”

“But she’s the Princess of Friendship and she’s been spending more time with you in your few days being in Equestria than they ever spent just even being in this shop! I mean how can I make friends if the Princess of Friendship doesn’t think I’m friend worthy…?”

“Talk to her during the cultural exchange concert I’m hosting in two weeks, get drunk and party with her.”

“What should I bring up? I doubt she’d be interested in some nerd who loves comic books and can only sing by autotuning his own voice.”

“I have no musical talent either, I use a voice changer and mix it with the singer’s voice to get it to match the pitch, technology kicks ass.”

“I mean I write to her brother all the time but we aren’t that close, he didn’t even invite me to his wedding, and it’s a shame cause I was totally jealous that he got controlled by those bug things!”

“Why?”

Mocha responds by taking out one of his comic drawings that shows a different changeling, presumably a king, using the same spell in Mocha… “Speaks for itself.”

“It turns you on...what the fuck?”

“Wait, what!? No… Okay well yes, but not enough to actually make me want to try it, I meant it just would have been kinda fun to have a bad guy try and use me as a weapon and have that special somepony who loves me bring me back to reality.”

“My god you are a kinky bastard, well on that note I’m gonna head out, I’m going to be late for my other job if I don’t leave now.”

“Bye, have fun…” He nervously says, while inside thinking ‘Dangit, I just ruined that friendship…’ After all, he didn’t choose to have that fantasy, he was always kind of ashamed of it and thought Sketch would be understanding…

“Also don’t look so down, I have heard worse, I had a girlfriend with a really weird one I’m not even comfortable talking about.”

“The sad thing is Shining Armor also knows I’m a Colt Cuddler, so it was awkward when we write.”

“Want me to make it more awkward when he meets me? I can think of a way to make you seem more normal.”

“Uh… Do I want to know?”

“I could wear assless chaps and a cowboy hat and not give a fuck, I have done worse.”

“If you do that I will be unable to resist you…” He jokingly responds.

“Sorry, no ponies for me, also what the fuck is a changeling? Are they like mimics that eat people?”

“I’m not really sure myself, but they’re like these half pony half bug things who have the ability to shapeshift. They don’t eat ponies, they eat love… Though honestly, I’m not really sure how that works, I mean all they do is scare ponies which kinda takes away their love, honestly, I say Changelings should be pets, we treat them nicely, they treat us nicely and we naturally feel the love that they can eat.”

“Are they sentient? If so they shouldn’t be pets, also they eat love? Do you mean the emotion or…”

“I don’t mean like obedient slaves, I mean kind of like roommates that are not afraid to do favors every now and again, I mean they’d be living rent free so they gotta do something nice, and I never really knew, though the queen was apparently able to hypnotize Shining Armor when they were just talking so I assume emotion.”

“That makes it a lot less pervy,” Sketch adds as he looks at his phone, unfortunately, he is now ten minutes late to his other job and Steel Pride will have his ass, and not in that way you perverts. ”Shit...Can you teleport me across town real fast? I am late for my other job as an apprentice.”

“Well I can try, but I’m not very good at magic…” He says as his small horn lights up…

“Lol your forehead is like a mini glowsti-” And before he can finish his quip he is gone.

“Oh my gosh! How did I do that?” He says as he looks up and sees smoke coming from his horn… “Oh…” He tries lighting it up but it won’t light up… “Huh? What’s wrong?” He questions as he tries again, but it still wouldn’t light… “Oh boy… This will be fun…” He sarcastically says.

The voice says as he lands in the forge of Steel Pride's smithery and lands in the molten metal upon contact with the forge, as he tries to climb out in desperation only one metal covered hand makes it to the surface before he dies again and sinks to the bottom.

And then Sketch never made it to his next job with Steel Pride and a voice echoes throughout Sketch's head right as he dies...

"You are a reckless one aren't you?"

Author's Note

Yup, he's dead, have a good night everybody!