Quill

Chapters

Canterlot Orphanage
The Cookies
Adjusting and Readjusting
Bring In The Welcome Wagon
Home Sweet Home
Birthday Surprise
Goodbye, Until We See Each Other Again
Mentally Unprepared for This

Canterlot Orphanage

Growing up in an orphanage isn't as bad as ponies make it out to be in stories. At least, not Canterlot Orphanage. There was about twenty three of us when I was there, and I was always in the middle ages. You know, never one of the oldest, never one of the youngest. We had amazing food, good exercise, and the best education an orphanage could have. Me and my friend at the time, Summer, we had a lot of fun doing homework, playing outside, and reading stories to each other. Quill is the name I go by, by the way. My real name is Quillian Bird, and to this day I have no idea who my real parents are. I have sand colored fur, long, wavy, golden yellow mane and tail, watery blue eyes, wings, and a quill as a cutie mark the same color of my eyes.

Summer was a pegasus too, she was bright yellow with a yellow mane and dark purple eyes. Her cutie mark was ironically a snowflake, her favorite thing to do, to my memory, was create things with ice and snow. Summer and I were always known for getting in trouble. Other foals, in the off chance they didn't know our names, knew us as "the ponies who always got in trouble" if others were talking about us to them. Velvet Clearing, our orphanage manager, kept our records separately from the other foals for that reason. In fact, she usually just kept ours in her desk drawer while the others were in a file cabinet. She did that for an easier access to them so that when we got in trouble, she could just take them out and mark down in jot notes what we did.

"Quillian Bird and Summer Days," She'd say in her snooty British voice. "What is it this time?" she'd ask every we'd walk in. As we'd sit down she'd levitate our files on to the desk, always slamming them down loudly showing the mass of papers inside.

"Lily didn't think Summer could throw stones over the roof, so we tried it," I explained. This particular time, it wasn't completely our fault, Ms. Feather didn't believe a word we said.

"So, me and Quill threw as hard as we could, but it hit the dorm window and Ms. Feather caught us," Summer finished.

Velvet Clearing would then scowl at us and open each of our files to jot what we did down. As she did that, she'd always mutter the same thing, "You know this is why you're never going to be adopted, right?" We'd used to get lectures, but it had happened enough times that all three of us just got tired of the same routine and she'd just hear what we'd done, write it in our files, and send us away.

As we left her office, Summer said, "Like I even want to be adopted by some old pony with a silver mane and smelly breath,"

"I know! And it would be so boring doing chores like raking leaves and cleaning my room," I added. At this point we were about six turning seven and nothing, it would seem, would please us.

"Besides," Summer said, "Who else would I get in trouble with? Firefly!? No way! He's a total wuss!" Summer scoffed.

"We're never gunna be adopted!" I shouted proudly, going to the main entry where we were playing outside before.

Immediately Lily came running towards us apologizing for getting us in trouble. "Sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Lily was a year or so older than us, and was never really out spoken or bombastic, so we found it odd that she even dared Summer to throw rocks in the first place. Later that week I found out from a friend of her's, Lilac, that she was the one that was dared but didn't want to do it in fear of getting in trouble, so when Lilac suggested us, she was still on the fence on whether or not it was a good idea. Lilac also said that Lily teared up seeing us go in there because of her.

Now, any normal six year old filly would be angry and never talk to Lily ever again, but me and Summer had been getting in trouble since we were four. It all started with that bubble gum in Gumdrop's mane. Back then we were terrified, but by then, we were over it. "It's okay, Lily, we don't care that we got in trouble," Summer explained.

"Yeah, Lily, did you really think we'd be mad?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I guess it was silly to assume," Lily admitted.

Summer and I really were just two criminals just waiting to happen.

But that ended a few years later when we were about nine years old. A pegasus couple from Cloudsdale was scheduled for a meeting with Velvet Clearing that afternoon and there were whispers of 'adoption' all around the house. It was instructed that all colts and fillies be in their dorms when the couple arrived, and Summer and I were instructed and kept on being reminded to be on our best behavior, we weren't. We were playing pranks all day, small enough to not get in trouble, but big enough for the staff to have their eyes on us. We thought it was so funny! Looking back on it now, I guess you could say we weren't all that polite to other ponies.

When ponies wanted to adopt from the orphanage, first they would be taken to Velvet's office and have an interview to see whether or not they would be suitable parents. If they didn't meet standards, Velvet would ask them to leave, but if they did, she would continue the process. If the ponies, or pony, had met her standards of being a good parent, or parents, she would direct them to the files of every pony that was there, showing mine and Summer's last. If they picked a filly or colt that they enjoyed hearing about, they would them meet them and decide from there. Sometimes the ponies would choose more than one to adopt and every pony got excited not just the singular colt or filly being adopted.

After twenty minutes of sitting in the filly's dorm we all heard hoof steps coming up stairs. "We'll start with the colt's dorm. He should be in here," we heard Velvet say. There was an excited buzz from every pony "She said, 'we'll start'! That means there will be two adoptions today!" Summer and I were excited too because we knew that it wasn't going to be either of us. Two minutes later we heard hoof steps come closer and Chatter Box's voice too. He was a greyish blue pegasus with dark blue eyes and black mane. Before we saw the door open we heard Velvet Clearing say, "Are you sure about this one?" nervously and a hint of surprise. Every pony was looking at us, and we were looking at each other.

She couldn't have been talking about one of us, could she? Yeah, she was. The couple followed Velvet Clearing inside and they all spotted us quickly. Chatter Box looked nervous, he was four and still followed the rule of "No colts in the filly's room and no fillies on the colt's room". If he had gotten older he would have realized that no pony followed that rule because you made friends with every pony. The mare in the couple trotted politely to us and said, "Hi, are you Summer Days?" and I instantly went pale, so did she.

"N-no!" she lied.

"Summer Days, you know I'm right here. Don't lie to Mr. and Mrs. Cloud," Velvet protested.

"Okay, I'm Summer," she mumbled, all the while I sat there silently stunned. Not only was it a double adoption day, but these ponies were planning on taking away my best friend away from me!

"It's nice to meat you, Summer, my name is Storm, and thins is my husband Rain," said the mare.

"Y-you have to be making a mistake, right!? I mean, have you even seen her file!? You don't want her!" I protested, coming out of my shock.

"We have, and we've seen yours too, and we would have adopted you as well, Quillian? Was it? But you see, we can only afford two foals and the house. Adopting three would have been too difficult to maintain," the stallion explained. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! They were taking away my friend! My only real friend! "That is, of course, if Summer want's to come with us," the stallion continued. I looked at Summer expectantly, waiting for her to hug me and say 'no'! But as some would expect, she nodded and smiled at them.

"I would like that," she said. Half of the ponies cheered including the couple and Velvet. But the other half, like me, were confused.

"Wait, we made a pact, Summer! A pact, it was either both of us, or neither of us. How could you do this to me?" I questioned, tears forming in my eyes.

"Quill, I know what we said, but we were seven! And this might be the only chance I get. Don't you see? If I'm ever going to be adopted, I can't be..." she started, but trailed off.

"No, go on. Say it." I said, bitterness dripping from my lips.

"I can't be tied to a pony who encourages my bad behaviors," She said, and my heart snapped. Those were the last words I ever heard from Summer. Later I found out that she ran away from home and got pregnant by Chatter Box at seventeen. Which made me regret what I said as a response.

"I hope your life is miserable without me!" I shouted, the tears were falling all at once, and Summer herself was bleary because of them. But I didn't care. I was angry.

The trouble I caused just got worse the few months after Summer left the orphanage. I didn't only cause mayhem in the orphanage anymore, I stole from ponies, vandalized stores, "Quillian Bird" was the name on every police officer's list. Velvet, luckily, never just kept me at the police station. She always bailed me out. The last time she did it, it was just like any other time.

"Good evening, Darrel," she said to the police officer.

"Good evening to you, Velvet," he replied.

"Where is she?" Velvet asked, casually like a mother picking her foal up from daycare.

"In the back with Due Grass," Darrel explained.

Due Grass was the chief of department at the time. And as it is illegal to throw a nine-fourteen year old in jail, we'd always just sit in his office playing cards or doing something until Velvet came and got me.

"Good evening, Due," Velvet said, opening the door with her magic.

"Good evening, Velvet," he replied.

"Enjoy your stay, Quillian?" she asked. I only nodded.

"Right, we'll be off now, Due Grass, see you soon!" Velvet said, leaving.

"Bring me something to eat if it's this late! I'm hungry!" He called, as I left the room to follow.

"See you, Darrel," I said, giving him a wave.

"See you soon, Quill," He replied.

Velvet and I walked away from the police department office, and she sits on the road. "Sit, Quillian," she said. I did so.

"Quillian, you are young. And doing stupid stuff like this will only lead to a bad path. I understand that you're upset that Summer Days chose adoption over you, but can you really blame her for wanting to start her life over and become a better pony? I mean, look at you. You are stealing from purses and wallets, and stores, and honestly, I'm sick of having to pick you up from the police every time you're caught. I am on first name basis with the cops, Quillian! I shouldn't have to be. And you are showing no signs of stopping, aren't you tired, Quill? Aren't you tired of doing this?" she said. I looked at the road, and then back up at her. I didn't want to admit she was right, I didn't think I'd ever be in this position. But, then again, I never thought Summer would leave me.

"Velvet, I know you're upset with me, and I'm upset too. I just want Summer back. She has been like a sister to me for years! Ever since we put gum in Gumdrop's mane! And now that she's gone, I don't know what to do with myself," I explained, truthfully.

"Do you think Summer would want to be your friend still if you keep on putting yourself in this situation?" She asked. I looked up at her, tears forming.

I didn't want to say it, but I knew the answer to that. She would have thought it fun the first time we did something like that, but as soon as we got caught the first time, she would have said 'no' and talked me out of it too.

"I miss her," I said instead, my voice cracking from the tears.

"I know, Quill. But steeling and vandalizing is not the best way to deal with things," she explained. All this time she had been more kind and more understanding than I'd seen her ever.

"But it's all I know," I said, loud enough to voice my heart break, but still quiet enough to not shout at her.

"But it's not all you know. Look at your cutie mark, Quillian! You are a writer by trade. Use that as fuel to express your feelings in a less dangerous and illegal way. Think of Shakespony, Or Edgar Talon Poe! They used their writing skill as a fuel to get rid of their pain too! If not for their writing skill, we wouldn't know about the first Griffon author or have amazing plays like Rose Bud and Juliet," Velvet explained, excitedly.

And she was right, she was right about everything. "Thank you, and I'm sorry I caused you so much grief over the past few months, Velvet. I promise I'll do better at controlling myself," I explained, hovering in the air while giving her a hug.

"You're welcome," she said as I released her and landed on the ground again. Walking towards the orphanage, she looked back at me and said, "There is only a few more hours left, so I guess it's now or never," She smirked as I looked at her in confusion. "Happy birthday," She smiled. The then levitated me beside her and let me walk beside her the rest on the way home. I had completely forgotten it was my birthday, and the one gift Velvet gave me, was a chance for a new life.

I had spent the next few weeks writing a short story with characters that focused on the situation I was going through at the time and showed it to Velvet. She thought it was amazing and thanked me for it. To my knowledge, she still has it. The few weeks after that, I had written a poem about starting a new path in life and the fears and happiness I left doing so, again, I showed Velvet but instead of keeping it, she asked a friend who worked on a magazine to publish it. It was titled, "Becoming More" and it was the first poem in my book of poems called, "The Ins and Outs of Poetry," That only published a few weeks ago and are on bookshelves all across Equestria.

Buy thirteen, I had published ten poems and three short stories. Velvet was so proud of me and we had become really close in those years. Which put us in a difficult position.

You see, despite my popularity and money, I still lived in the orphanage and all that money I was making went to Velvet because legally I was too young to be making that kind of money. That is, until a couple from right there in Canterlot visited the orphanage. Their names? Sugar and Chocolate Chip Cookie. It all happened so fast, one moment, I was under the care of Velvet Clearing, then in the next moment I had a teary goodbye and I was given my earnings from the short stories and poems, and on my way to my new home with the Cookies.

I wish I could tell you what was said between me and Velvet, but honestly it happened so fast that I just can't remember! Mr. and Mrs. Cookie were two earth pony bakers in Canterlot that were quite popular. They owned a diner near the castle that soon Pony Joe would run. But my misadventures don't stop there, in fact, this is only the beginning.

The Cookies

When I got settled into my new home, a few blocks away from the bakery, Sugar, my new mom, didn't take long to explain the rules and expectations of the house. "You can stay out for as long as you want as long as your home before supper. Supper is at 8:00, and I expect no sweets after that, as long as it's not a special night. Also, we expect you to attend school and work in the dinner when you're not out with friends or in the middle of writing. We expect you to be on your best behavior around gets and us at all times. You have to have your manners in check too. We have seen your record that Ms. Velvet Clearing gave us and though we are surprised at its size, we understand that you have improved so we expect just that. Understand?" she explained. I blinked and stuttered an answer that resembled the word 'yes', but I am unsure that's what I actually said.

Despite everything Sugar said about manners and behavior, both Chocolate Chip and Sugar were amazingly lax parents. I assume it was mainly because I was already thirteen at the time and any impact they would have had on my emotional and intellectual growth would have been little, if any. I got to admit, it was fun working at the diner, sometimes I visit Canterlot and take a day where I work free for Pony Joe. It was a really great atmosphere and a lot of ponies were really polite when I served them. Plus, I got to use roller skates. Those who recognized me always wanted an autograph. Most of the time it was unprepared so I signed paper napkins at their tables.

School was okay too, it turned out that I was more popular with the older ponies, so starting school the only ponies who recognized my name was the principle, the my English teacher, and one of the Phys Ed teachers. Most of the schools in Canterlot are privet schools and range from kindergarten to eleven, when all ponies graduate and become adults. I was thirteen so I was in grade six when starting in the school. I did make friends with two unicorns named Heather and Honey Dew. Heather was a white unicorn with dark green eyes and messy lilac mane, her cutie mark was a bouquet of flowers and later became a wedding designer. Honey Dew was a golden yellow with teal eyes and light brown straight mane. Her cutie mark is a honey comb. Honey Dew, Heather, and I are still are really great friends of mine. We don't see each other very often anymore, but we're always sending letters.

How we met was kind of funny, really, it was my first day of school, and the teacher walked in late. Ms. Penelope was greeting the class excitedly, and the thing that every pony wanted to know was who I was, because they hadn't heard of me. "And class, I am excited to introduce you to our new class member. She is the youngest author we have ever seen, she has published several poems and stories, she has won two golden stickers, welcome Quill Bird!" she said. Excitedly, she clapped her hooves and I saw her being oblivious to the fact that no pony else clapped as well. After that awkward introduction, Ms. Penelope started talking about stanzas in poems and I doodle on my paper, not paying attention. When the bell rang for lunch, every pony put away all of their belongings and left the classroom. Ms. Penelope wishing us a good rest of the day.

I was heading to my locker, which just so happened to be across the hall, and was stopped By Heather and Honey Dew. "Hey there, new filly! How are you?" Heather asked, clearly the leader of the two of them.

"I'm fine, I was just heading to my locker," I explained, nonchalantly.

"So, you're some kind of 'famous author', huh? How come we never heard of you before?" Honey Dew persisted.

I rolled my eyes and said, "No pony said I was famous, generic bully one and generic bully two. And if you want me to 'kill myself' or 'stop trying so hard to be popular', then you should turn around and look at your cliched plots in the mirror because I am not affected and you should stop trying. Got that, generic bully one and two?"

They looked at me stunned and Heather responded with, "I will not take sass from the new filly who thinks she knows me! Get lost loser!"

"Look, I don't have time for these tropes right now, so let me just eat my lunch in peace and we'll all have a nice day," I explained, a little annoyed.

"Hang on, famous author, who told you that it's okay to come to a new school and act like you're superior than us?!" Honey Dew demanded.

"Girls, just stop. You're not intimidating, and you're not going to break me. I've written characters that have more dimension than your sorry plots. You maybe unicorns, but I don't think you'll use magic on me. Got that, generic bully one and two?" I said, getting mad. "See you tomorrow," I said, pushing past them.

We only had that one period together when we first met, and I was glad for it. Not because I was scared, but because I just didn't want to see their annoying faces for longer than I had to. A few weeks after that first exchange, they come up to me again. By then we all knew each other's names, so we could actually address the other in conversation. "Quill!" Heather shouted, catching up to me in the hallway, Honey Dew close behind. "We were just thinking about what you said to us, about us being generic and bullies," she explained.

"So? I'm busy. I need to ask my math teacher a few questions before he leaves for lunch," I explained, irritated that I was having a conversation with these two again.

"Wow, rude. We came to say that you were right, alright?" Honey Dew explained.

"Heather, Honey Dew, I got to go. you can have your reformation scene later, alright?" I said, sassy.

"No! We want to apologize! We felt intimidated, okay? We heard Ms. Penelope talk about your accomplishes and we got jealous about how much you've done with your skills already that we kind of tried to make you feel bad about yourself, but clearly that didn't work," Honey Dew explained.

"Girls. I know. I am busy, and I don't want to deal with you right now. You're cliched, over done, and repetitive to about all the other bullies in stories and real life. As I said, I need to catch Mr. Bisect before he leaves for lunch," I said. They look at me with wonderment.

"How do you keep doing that?" Heather asked. "We came up with that speech ourselves!" She explained further.

"Look. I've read a lot of books. I can name so many characters with the same goals as you two. 'bully some pony to make them feel inferior to you'. It's been done so many times," I said.

After that, we became friends. Our favorite hang out spot was the diner. We loved it there. I served them when ever I worked and made sure their meals were the best. They quickly became original and their own ponies after I became friends with them. I quickly learned, too, that they bullied a lot of the younger fouls, the twelve and eleven year old mostly, so I got them to be kinder and apologize to them. Over all, us three were and still are inseparable.

Sugar and Chocolate Chip were over joyed that I made friends so quickly and they soon made friends with Honey Dew's parents and Heather's parents. I remember every fall we'd all go on a trip to Baltimare for a few weeks. And Every winter we'd pick a special weekend and we'd all have hot cocoa in the diner when it was closed for the night. And every summer we'd all stay at Heather's cabin. I met her little brother Dragon Snap on the first summer there. He is several years younger than Heather and has a cutie mark in gardening. Every birthday was celebrated in a huge way! Once on my birthday, we had a scavenger hunt throughout the entire city of Canterlot and the prize was a huge party! And on Honey Dew's seventeenth birthday our parents bought us train tickets and we spent a week traveling Equestria. All our parents were pretty wealthy so we could do stuff like that.

Overall, life with the Cookies and my two best friends was awesome! So you can imagine my surprise when Heather's and Honey Dew's parents didn't allow them to talk to me anymore. Sugar asked them about it, and Honey Dew's mom, Sweet Tooth, explained that they didn't want her daughter to hang around a criminal. Heather's dad said the same thing. I was so confused, I wrote Velvet about it and the next week I got a letter replying, "I wouldn't know how those ponies would know about your record unless you, or your friends, told them. And since you mentioned that not even your friends knew, I have no explanation for it, I'm sorry, Quillian." My friends and I still spoke at school, we were all in pretty much the same classes then so unfortunately for their parents it was unavoidable.

We were all seventeen so we were all in our last year of school anyway. Soon after graduation Heather would be starting a bridal business, and Honey Dew would be employed into a cereal company and later she'd be the manager of a bakery in Manehattan. Anyway, long story short, our family vacations and birthdays together were halted pretty abruptly. Heather and Honey Dew would apologize for their parents' behavior, but I honestly didn't care, "Let them think what they want to think," I'd tell them, and soon enough, they stopped caring too. They'd sneak away to meet me at the diner and we'd walk hours around Canterlot. And if we got caught by one of their parents, they'd blame me for it. I admit, it did hurt seeing ponies I once trusted now discriminating me because of my background. I never let Sugar or Chocolate see me sad though, I always sent letters to Velvet explaining my situation. Some times, I was crying and the tears hit the paper as I wrote.

One time, she sends me a notebook and quill and ink with one sentence. "It's time you start writing again." So I did. I wrote about my pain, about my sadness, about the injustice, I wrote about all of it. Four poems came out of it, and I mailed it to my publishers right away. Within a month, those poems were out to the public. Sweet Tooth and Fruit Juice, Honey Dew's parents, came to the diner personally and called them, 'An attack on their family,' and they demanded them to be trashed. But since there was no physical evidence that the poems were specifically about them, no pony could do anything about it. Heather's dad, Sage, claimed the same thing a few weeks later, but still there was little evidence to prove that it was specifically about him.

Ms. Penelope ended up assigning one of them, "A Walk Down the Road of Hate", and analyze it. I, of course, didn't need to do it because I wrote it, but she did give me a different poem to analyze instead. That lunch I explained to my friends all the answers but told them to make the answers into their own words so that she didn't know that they cheated off the author. It felt as though I was more devious at seventeen than I was at thirteen. And the best part was, we all got away with it too.

And then, that evening, I was working in the diner when Chocolate walked up to me concerned. "Quill," he said. "Is there anything you're not telling us?" he asked.

I didn't know what he meant by that, "No," I responded, confused.

"Are you sure? About your old caretaker?" he asked again.

He lead me to the back room and continued. "Because I was going over the mail and saw a letter addressed to you from her," He explained.

"I - I'm sorry, Chocolate. It's just, I'm having a lot of insecurities right now, and I didn't want to inconvenience you and Sugar about it," I explained.

"Quill, even though we are not blood, we are still your parents. You can talk to us about anything and we wouldn't judge you," Chocolate explained.

"I know, Chocolate, but Velvet is the pony I always came to with my problems, when I wasn't getting in trouble, and it feels weird just trusting other ponies with my problems. You know?" I said, and he looked at me understandingly.

"I get it. When I was about ten, my parents had died in a factory accident, so I had to live with my uncle. The thing is though, that I had trusted my parents with everything, and when they were gone, I felt as though I had no one to talk to. But one day my uncle came up to me and said, 'moy mal'chik, I know that you are hurting, but what ever you need to say, say it to me. I am here for you.' I know it is not the exact same for you, but the offer still stands," Chocolate explained.

I looked at him, slightly surprised, slightly happy "You're an orphan too?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, "But as I said, it isn't quite the same for you," He explained, smiling.

"Do you still miss them?" I asked, curious never knowing my parents.

"From time to time, but I always go to my uncle or Sugar if I need comfort. I suggest you come to me or Sugar as well, krasivaya," he said, and kissed me on the forehead.

He let me continue my shift without any other distractions and when my shift was done, I checked out, and walked home. Sugar and Chocolate were already there waiting for me. I then told them everything. About how Sweet Tooth, Fruit Juice, and Sage made me feel, how they banned Honey Dew and Heather from talking to me outside of school and how it really made me feel, how I was angry all the time and didn't know how to be happy again, and that the only thing I could do about it was write in the notebook Velvet gave me a few months previous.

It felt good to actually tell someone instead of just sending letters. I've found over the years that vocalizing problems is a better healing tool than just writing them down. Sugar and Chocolate hugged me for the first time in a long time that night, and it felt good. "We can deal with this, don't worry. You won't have to worry about them any more," Sugar said, and I still don't know what she said to Heather and Honey Dew's parents, but they let Heather and Honey Dew hang out with me outside of school again! A few years after that Heather told me that she discovered that their parents had hired a professional spy to dig up dirt on me. "They didn't trust you at all! Not even when we were that young!" she claimed. I was stunned. I told Honey Dew right away and she confronted her parents about it. They confessed to it as well. Honey Dew hasn't been in touch with her parents since.

"I couldn't believe it!" she told us. "They just admitted it! No avoiding anything! Just straight to the point!" she explained as we sat in her new apartment in Manehattan.

"Yeah, my Dad as well. It was so casual too, he said, 'hey remember when I told you not to talk to Quillian anymore?' and then he told me why!" Heather explained.

"Whatever. I'm over it. I just want to finish my tea and go meet Honey Dew's colt friend," I explained, sipping said tea.

"He's not my colt friend!" Honey Dew explained, she and Violet Sky started dating a month later.

So yeah, life with the Cookies was awesome. Too bad it had to end.

Author's Note

Before you ask, Chocolate Chip is Russian. Or at least the Equestrian version of Russian.

Adjusting and Readjusting

The years I spent with the Cookies were the best years of my life. Like Velvet, I keep tabs on what they are up to. I was in grade eleven and graduation was coming up soon. Honey Dew, Heather, and I were all so worried about grades and our lives after school. Heather was already working for a bridal dress store and was getting ready to work full time, but as for me and Honey Dew? We had no clue. I mean, sure I had been writing ever since I was about ten, but I had no idea if that would last! And Honey Dew was like a jack of all trades. She could do a lot, but didn't know what to settle on. Not to mention final projects, papers, exams, we were stressed. Not to mention Bell Hop, Heather's boyfriend of four years at the time, broke up with her those same months when nothing but panicking was happening.

"Relax, girls. You have your whole life ahead of you," Sugar would say when we walked in my house with hysteria written all over our faces.

"But, Sugar! My grades are low, Heather's boyfriend broke up with her, and Quill is sitting over here like the world is going to burn if she doesn't hand in the psychology assignment on time next week!" Honey Dew exclaimed, probably more frantically than she intended.

"I get that, I was seventeen once too. In fact, my parents were so controlling during this time that me and your Aunt Ginger couldn't even think about friends without them yelling at us," Sugar explained simply.

"Oh," I thought. "Is that why Aunt Ginger is so traumatized as a mare?" I wondered.

So, the stress continued. We tried everything in our power not to crack under the massive amounts of pressure we were under to get good grades and graduate! It was hard, and we barely made it through, but in the end, we all graduated. And I can tell you proudly that Chocolate, Sugar, and Velvet watched as I walked up on that stage and took that diploma from the principal's hoof. Honey Dew and Heather's parents were there too. And we all took pictures in front of the school. After graduation, our lives split apart for a while. As suspected Heather's job at the bridal shop started full time, I got busy with job finding myself, and Honey Dew was moving out of her parents' house.

We lost contact for a while, and that got me down for a bit, but I got over it. I knew that since we were all out of high school, our lives had to get hectic before they got normal. As I was looking for a new job, I was still working part time in the diner, training Pony Joe the ins and outs of what to do. We became really close friends right away and around the time I got my first full time job at a Art Gallery, we started to date. We kissed and cuddled like all new couples do, and it seemed right, but something deep inside me told me something was off. I had no interest in dating colts in school, which I thought was weird and so did my parents, but no pony really thought about it too deeply. When I and Pony Joe got together, every pony thought that it was just meant to be. That is, until, I met some pony else.

I was still quite young, nineteen maybe? And Pony Joe and I had been dating for several years and that thing was still there saying how wrong it was. But I liked Joe, so I just ignored it. But there lies the problem, I liked Joe. I didn't love him the way a special somepony is supposed to love their partner. But Lilac Shimmer changed everything. She changed my entire life.

Lilac Shimmer was a Pegasus like me! She had a magenta curly mane, dark purple body, and dark pink eyes. Her cutie mark was a referee whistle and mainly worked local soccer games. She got me into loving sports! Base ball, soccer, Wonderbolts, air hockey, I was hooked. I still am! Lilac and I met at the art gallery I worked at, she was there with her sister-in-law and she looked too bored to be there willingly. As the two of them were walking around, I made it my business to make her at least a little amused.

"Hello, I'm Quillian Bird! Do you need help finding a particular piece today?" I said, cheerfully, reciting what all employees are told memorized.

"Hi, I was just wondering if you had any pieces by Pony Picasso or even Free de-Color," her sister-in-law asked.

"We sure do, but I don't know where they are or who those painters are," I said, lying. As expected, Lilac chuckled quietly.

"I thought you worked here," her sister-in-law said, confused and a bit irritated.

"Oh, I do," I explained simply.

"Then shouldn't you know the artists?" she asked.

"Sure, but I didn't pay attention at the orientation," I explained, lying again, but I got Lilac to laugh out loud. I would learn to love that laugh.

The reason I don't say Lilac's sister-in-law's name is because I asked her if she would be okay if I put her in my book, and she said, "Yes. As long as you leave my name out," I asked every pony the same question.

She got angry that now both me and Lilac were laughing. "I'm sorry, please come with me. I'll show you the artists you want to see," I said. I lead them to the hallway where it just so happened that both artists she was looking for was featured.

I decided to introduce myself properly to Lilac. "Hey, I'm Quill, what brings you here against your will?"

"She wants to start painting, and wanted inspiration," Lilac explained, watching her sister go from painting to painting.

"What's your name?" I asked, as casually as I could.

"Lilac Shimmer, but I go by Lilac," she explained. "Only the ponies that are important to me call me Lil," she added, and I blushed. I wanted to be important to her.

"Since we're just standing here, why not tell me what your cutie mark means?" I asked.

"You first, feather butt," she said, teasingly.

"Well, I'm a writer, I'm pretty popular here in Canterlot, but it's okay if you don't know my work, I don't expect you to," I explained simply.

"Nah, you'd be surprised how many books I've read and didn't know the author's name," The more she spoke, the more I could hear a faint Manehattan accent.

"Well, I haven't written any books, but I did write a short story titled, 'A Mare's Eternal Winter'," I explained.

"Huh, cool! I never read it, but my brother Whirl Spin had! He told me he really enjoyed that one," Lilac explained. "You live around here?" she asked. I was shocked at the question and I didn't know how to feel.

"Huh, a few blocks away, why?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Alone?" Lilac asked.

"With my mom and dad, but that's why I have this job, to save up for an apartment ," I explained.

"Awe, how cute! Tell you what, I can hang around the ice cream shop across the road, and when your shift is over, we can hangout at your place, how about it, Quill?" she said. Now here I had two options. Option one: squeal up and down like a crazy pony because she just met me and wanted to be my friend, or option two: play nonchalance and pretend that it's just an ordinary offer from Heather. I picked option two.

"Sure, sounds cool!"

"Awesome!" she said, excitedly. We stayed there in silence for the rest of the five minutes her sister was looking at the paintings.

Her sister walked up to me and asked, "When is the next auction?"

"Next week, Wednesday afternoon," I explained. She nodded and left, Lilac fallowing her.

I had about a twenty five minute time frame until the end of my shift. I was so excited that I worked faster than my co-workers just wanting the shift to be done! I had no idea why I was so excited, why she was so beautiful to me, or why she made me feel so happy! But, being nineteen, emotions are still everywhere, though evening out. I didn't know then, what I know now. I was in love with Lilac Shimmer! Soon after we started to hang out, she confessed to me that she was bisexual and that she actually had a really big crush on me. I wanted to say that I was gay too, but I was scared. That night, I got the courage to walk up to my parents and tell them.

"Sugar, Chocolate," I said, with purpose.

"What's wrong, Hun?" Sugar asked.

"What do you want to talk about?" Chocolate asked.

"Okay, I have something to tell you. It's really hard for me to say, and I hope that you don't kick me out of the house for this," I explained, nervously now, without looking at them.

"What are you talking about? Should we be worried?" Sugar asked, worriedly.

"What ever it is, you can tell us!" Chocolate insisted.

"Well, you know how I've been hanging out with Lilac a lot?" I asked.

"Dear Celestia, you haven't been stealing again, have you?" Sugar asked, panic in her voice.

"No! I promise, it's nothing like that," I explained, looking at her.

She put her hoof to her chest and sighed in relief.

"Sugar, Chocolate, I think I love Lilac. More than a friend," I explained, waiting for them to shout at me.

"So, you're a lesbian?" Chocolate asked. "You kiss other mares?" He asked again, getting confused.

"Oh, Quillian! I know that, sweetie! I've known for years now," Sugar said, sweetly and joyfully.

"You knew?" Chocolate asked.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked, relief in my voice.

"It wasn't my say, Quill, it was yours!" Sugar smiled at me. "How you doing over there, Chocolate?" Sugar asked slyly.

"Good, I think," Chocolate said. He wasn't against me being a lesbian, he was just really confused at the concept that his daughter was one. Confused, but supportive none the less.

Lilac and I started dating right away, after I explained the situation to Pony Joe of course, he was heart broken, but understood. You can imagine how Canterlot deals with mares as a couple. Again I was discriminated against, and again I wrote about it. It took month, but I was finally done a novel about a gay couple, two stallions. It was banned from Canterlot, Los Pegasus, Dodge Junction, and Baltimare. Not because of any erotic sex or anything like that, it was just a simple love story between two stallions who despite all who say it's wrong, love each other and don't care what every pony else says. I actually had to take a train to Manehattan to get it published because my publisher didn't want anything to do with it. Lilac loved it, of course, even appreciated me dedicating it in her honour. "How did I become so lucky?" she asked, kissing my cheek.

"I wouldn't know, but I'm the lucky one, Lil!" I responded, nudging her shoulder.

And so, we went on for almost two years, basking in the hate we'd get! We didn't care, we were in love. She'd take me to soccer games and air hockey games, and in return I'd bring her on book tours and signings. Though my publisher didn't like the novel, he didn't know that I was lesbian so he still worked with me, at least for a little bit longer. That's actually how me, Heather, and Honey Dew reconnected! I was in Manehattan signing books at the Show Theater and it had already been a really long day. Then, I heard a familiar voice. "Wow, look at you, Ms. famous author!" I looked up and I saw Honey Dew. I shrieked with joy seeing the unicorn in front of me. I wrapped my hooves around her and she did the same.

"Honey Dew! I missed you so much!" I said, nearly crying.

"I missed you too!" she said, nearly crying too.

"Did you want me to sign the book?" I asked, whipping formed tears from my eyes.

"Yes! I'd love that!" she exclaimed.

So I did. We hugged goodbye as I whispered, "Write to me, I'm still living at my parent's house!"

"Okay!" Honey Dew whispered back.

So, we set up a time where all three of us could catch up, and we did. A few months after the visit in Manehattan, I was twenty one, Sugar got really sick and had to go to the hospital. Once there we found out that it was a severe case of pneumonia and they didn't know if we got there in time or not. She died a few weeks later. The funeral was small only a few close family members and friends came, and I finally got to meet Chocolate's uncle. Heather and Honey Dew came as well, I'm glad they did. I can't remember much of the funeral. All those years of repressing those memories makes it hard to recall exactly what happened. But I was sad, of course, we were all sad. And I did something that I never thought I would do. Cry. I hadn't cried since I lost Summer, and I swore that I wouldn't cry again. But there I was. Sugar was dead, and I cried.

I tried writing stories and poems, explaining the pain, but it didn't come easy and I scrapped all of the ideas. Even now I have no memory of any thought process I had. I also went to the orphanage where I grew up. Hoping that Velvet would let me talk a while about my problems. I arrived there on a very cloudy day, and there was rumors of rain. It rained during Sugar's funeral. I entered the yard where a few of the fillies and colts were playing. they ran up to me, excited to see a real famous pony even though I wasn't known very well yet. "Ms. Quill! I want to be just like you when I grow up!" a young earth pony colt announced. I looked down at him. He was burnt orange with a dark green mane and dark purple eyes.

"What's your name?" I asked, sweetly.

"Red Raven!" announced the colt proudly.

"Red Raven, I'll look for your name on book shelves," I said. That made him jump in excitement.

"What's all the commotion outside?" I heard and elderly British voice call.

"Wow, Velvet, still here after all these years? I thought once you got rid of me, you would have retired to Los Pegasus or something," I say, loud enough for her to hear me.

"Quillian! It's good to see you again! I understood from your last letter that you didn't need my help anymore, I was upset but very proud of you for moving on," Velvet said, walking up to hug me. I hugged back.

"I thought so too, but, my mother died recently, and I wanted to have a talk with you. Chocolate would just start crying, and Honey Dew and Heather would try to avoid the topic all together," I explained.

"Oh, yes, I read it in the obituary. I'm so sorry, Quill. Although, I am happy you are still friends with your fillyhood companions," Velvet offered, giving me another hug.

"Yeah, they've been helpful, but honestly, a little over bearing. I love them, but I think I need time away from everyone and just have a nice, quite, conversation," I explained.

"I understand, please, come to my office," Velvet said, leading me away from the foals. "Come now, my little ponies, don't crowd!" Velvet asked. immediately they all disperse and go off playing again.

"Wow, so well behaved," I commented. "Have you gotten any pony like me and Summer here?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, there has always been times where I had a few misbehaved fillies and colts. You'll find that a filly named Daring Danger and a colt names Electric Buzz are the two hooligans this time. They are both about ten years old now," she explained. "But I pray to Celestia that neither of them end up like Chatter Box," Velvet said, lowering her voice and sounding concerned and panicked.

"That was awful, wasn't it? I saw it in the paper one morning and just thought of the fact that he was a colt once, living here, with all of us. Who would have guessed that he would one day be capable of... rape," I explained, walking into her office.

"Do you know if she kept the foal?" Velvet asked, worried.

"No, it didn't say in the paper and it would have been too awkward for me to see her after all those years. Besides, that was right about the time my life was starting to feel normal again and I was focused on graduating," I explained, regretting that I didn't go anyway. I later discovered that Summer indeed birthed the foal, but didn't keep it. Instead, she gave it to Ponyville orphanage.

Velvet looked at me seriously, "You grew up, Quill, faster than I'd like to admit," she said.

"All thanks to you, Velvet. If it weren't for you taking me in, and giving me the chance to better myself, I don't know where I'd be," I explained, smiling at my old caretaker.

"Have I ever told you how you came to the orphanage?" Velvet asked.

I nodded, "My parents were too poor to take care of me, barely enough money to take care of themselves. They died soon after from the cold that winter," I explained.

"Good, I couldn't remember if I had or not," Velvet said.

"I miss her, so much," I said, tears falling.

"I know Quill, I felt the same when my parents died a few years ago," Velvet explained, coming towards me for a hug.

"I hurt, and the pain won't go away! Poor Chocolate is just beside himself with sadness!" I explained, crying into her shoulder.

"The pain didn't go away for me either, Quill. But I did what I'm about to suggest to you," Velvet said. I said nothing, just continued to cry. "I left, I left the city to clear my head. I didn't leave forever, as you can tell, but I left until I felt better about the situation I was in," she explained.

"Where did you go?" I asked, but muffled by the fact I was in her shoulder crying.

"Me? I went to Appleusa. But you don't have to go there if you don't want, I have family friends who live in Cloudsdale, their daughter lives in Ponyville, do you want to live with them?" she explained.

"If I'm going to heal, I'd rather live alone. You said their daughter lives in Ponyville? Do you think I could get a house there? To rent I mean," I explained. I wanted to do this on my own, though I did know that having support was the right thing to have in that situation. So that's what I opted for. So, I told Chocolate my plan, packed, placed him in Heather's home, closer to the middle of Canterlot, said goodbye to them, and left the next day. That all took about five months to plan and do. I was on my way to Ponyville. To the house i had gotten a deal on to rent three months before. Little did I know that my life would be a lot more involved in doing so.

Bring In The Welcome Wagon

On the train ride there I remember a deep feeling of melancholy. Not only was I still grieving over Sugar, but I was starting to feel guilty leaving Chocolate like that. He knew it was for the best, and supported me, but still. And I had to leave poor Lil by herself too, not that I didn't want her there, but Velvet said if I wanted to take on this on my own, I didn't want some pony who reminded me of home, so Lil couldn't come with me. Though she protested, along with Heather, but eventually they gave in. Only because the train was leaving and I had to get on, but still. I watched as the world went by, the view, the ponies out the window, and the ponies in the train car. There were several. Mostly stallions, a few foals and mares, including me, but mostly stallions. I don't know why I remember that specific detail though, maybe it was my depression. A mare, about my age, walked up to me while on the car.

"Are you Quill Bird?" she asked, nervously. I simply nodded, not in the mood to even look at this poor mare. "Oh! Celestia! I knew it! Please, I have a copy of Windward Bounds here, will you sign it?" She asked, nervously but excited.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't have anything to sign with," I stated, looking back out the window. The poor mare was simply devastated that I had nothing to sign her book with. I felt bad, but I just wanted to get to Ponyville, and was too busy thinking of Chocolate. The mare walked back to her seat. Minutes passed, and the train finally arrived. I grabbed my saddle bag, filled with clothes, tooth brush, and other essentials, and I walked out on to the plat form. I will admit I was pretty excited, considering my outward appearance. This was because Velvet's friends' daughter, was Rainbow Dash herself. The Element of Loyalty! When I discovered them in the news paper, I was amazed at what they did. You see, during the Summer Sun Celebration, I was drunk off my plot because Sugar and Chocolate loved to party, and I didn't even know what was happening until I read it in the papers. I waited on the plat form for a good thirty minutes before deciding to find my own way around the town.

I made it to almost the middle of town before I got crashed into with immense force. I was on the ground, covered in dirt and coughing. "Oops! Sorry! I'm really late!" I heard a voice say, the dust cleared and it was Rainbow Dash herself.

"Oh... my..." was all I could say. For once, I was the one who was star struck. She stood me up, brushed me off, collected some of the things that fell out of my bag, and zoomed past me. I slowly accepted the fact that that just happened, then I started picking up the rest of my stuff. It wasn't long before Dash appeared again.

"You're Quill, aren't you?" she asked. I nodded. She looked so angry with herself and she kept on saying, "Rainbow! What the hell!? You promised you wouldn't be late! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

I couldn't help but laugh, "Hey! It's okay, I sometimes forget important stuff too!" I lied, but I never told her that.

"Oh, okay, but the reason I was so late was because I was helping Pinkie with your party!" she explained, confidence now restored.

"Pinkie? You mean the Element of Laughter!?" I asked, nervously. She was the one I looked up to most. Always happy, always cheering up her friends, she was everything I wanted to be. Instead of being straight forward and occasionally panicked.

"Yeah! Why? You a fan?" Rainbow asked. I nearly fainted. I was about to meet Pinkie, who had thrown a party just for me.

Reality comes back to me. "Wait, how did she know I was coming?" I asked.

"Because Velvet told me you were coming and I told Twilight, which in turn told Pinkie, and now the whole town knows you're coming!" Explained Rainbow Dash.

I, again could not believe it. I was feeling dizzy and was close to fainting. "Anyway, I'm taking you to Sweet Apple Acres, that's where the party is," Rainbow said, forcing me out of my daze.

"Huh? What?" I asked.

"Sweet Apple Acres, my friend Apple Jack's farm. We were going to have it in Sugar Cube Corner, but once word caught wind that it was you, an author who is extremely popular in Ponyville, it was clear that Sugar Cube Corner wasn't going to be big enough," Rainbow explained, simply. I nodded and followed her through town, now taking notice that there was barely any pony around.

I never new I'd be so important to so many ponies in one town. In contrast in big cities like Los Pegasus and Even Canterlot my name as an author was very small. I followed the mare through the rest of town, noting that it really did kind of look like some kind of ghost town. I'll be it, with a few ponies still around town but very, very few. One of them, though, caught my eye. I mint green unicorn with white in her mane and tail and golden eyes.

"Who is that?" I whispered to Rainbow Dash.

"Who?" she asked.

"That green unicorn back there," I explained.

"Oh, that was Lyra. C'mon, Quill! We're almost on the road to the farm!" Rainbow Dash explained.

I started to hover nervously. "Close?" I thought. "To Pinkie Pie!?" If only Lilac could see me right then. She used to comment all the time how she'd never seen me with nerves on edge, but right then, she would have been fascinated. Soon enough though, the fragrant smell of those sweet and juicy apples calmed me down, at least enough to stop hovering. Then, I saw them. Avast field covered in hundreds and hundreds of apple trees. I hadn't seen one apple tree before that day, and to see that many all at once was breath taking! They looked fresh too, like they just became ripe enough to pick that day. And the density of them. I only say that the Ever Free is denser because I've walked in both now, but on that day if i would have seen the forest too, I wouldn't have guess that it was denser and thought it was the same.

We walk up to a huge fire truck red barn I've read about in books but again, never saw in real life. Despite Rainbow's insistence that the party would be there, I saw no pony and made me a little discouraged. "C'mon, Quill! It's in the barn," Rainbow Dash said, hope rising in my breast. We get to the doors and I can kind of hear whispering. "In here," Rainbow Dash said. "Oh! And please act like you're surprised, I kind of told Pinkie I wouldn't spoil the surprise," Rainbow said.

"I'll try my best," I said.

Rainbow opened the door, I walked in, and was bombarded by a whole bunch of "SURPRISE!!!" And as instructed, I acted like a filly on Hearth's Warming, full of happiness and excitement. And there she was, bouncing towards me excitedly. "Hi Quillie! I'm Pinkie Pie!" she exclaimed. "Welcome to Ponyville! Will you be staying here long?" she asked, happily.

"Uh, well, I'm not planning to, I'm just here to clear my head of a few things that's all," I explained.

"Well that's not what they think!" Pinkie explained, the joy never leaving her face.

"The one writing this, silly!" Pinkie giggled, I never understood that. I was still shocked that she was talking to me, let alone that we were having a conversation.

I soon got introduced to every pony. There was Bonbon, Derpy, Big Mac, Mayor Mare, Granny Smith, Cheerilee, Thunder Lane, Carrot Top, Roseluck, Zecora, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Matilda, Caramel, Berry Punch, Cloudkicker, Raindrops, and of course the Elements of Harmony.

"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said, kindly holding out her hoof. I took it hesitantly. It was my first time seeing an Alicorn up close and I didn't know how to react.

"Hello, I'm Rarity, and I must say I am a big fan of your work. All the drama and passion in everything you write just gives me goose bumps! I must insist you come to my boutique and I make you something amazing," Rarity said.

"Howdy there, Quill Bird! I'm Apple Jack! This here is my family farm! I'm sure you've already met my brother and granny," Apple Jack introduced.

"Um, Hi, I-I'm Fluttershy. Nice to meet you, Quill! I love your poems, I think they're so sweet!" Fluttershy, barely at a normal volume.

"Hey, Quill! Come drink with me!" Rainbow called from the other side of the barn. I thanked each of them for speaking with me and raced to Rainbow. I'm awfully shy when I meet idols. I mean, I was prepared to meet Rainbow Dash that day, but to meet the rest of them on the same day? It was nearly overwhelming. "How you holding up?" she asked, taking another sip of beer.

"Fine, I guess, I'm still trying to get used to everything and meeting so many ponies at once is a little hard on me," I explained.

"You look like you need a cider," Rainbow said. "Hey! Granny! Can you get us a cider for our guest of honour here?" she called, and the old mare behind the make-shift bar nodded and poured a glass.

"Thanks Granny," I said, taking a sip. And just like that, I was downing a glass of beer, cider, martinis, anything I could get my hooves on. Rainbow and I played a game of beer pong, and won, against Berry Punch and Thunder Lane, there was drunken banter between me and Twilight about books and dewy decimal system, I took shots with Rarity talking about dresses and Canterlot, I had a long quiet conversation with Fluttershy about social standings and anxiety, and I think the best part of my night was talking with Pinkie Pie.

"Hey! Pinkie!" I slurred, probably spilling cider or beer everywhere. "You're really, really really pink, you know that?" I asked, leaning all of my weight on to her.

She giggled and said, "Of course I'm pink! I'm Pinkie Pie! How's your night, Quillie?" she said, she sounded sober and I didn't like that.

"Hey! Pinkie! Have the rest of this!" I said, shoving my drink into her face.

Again, she giggled, "Okay! Thank you! You're too kind!"

"N-no! You're kind!" I hiccuped. "And I like you you're my favorite pony in th-this barn!" I said, my censor in pieces. "I like that you're pink!" I said, giggling.

"Thanks! I like you too, Quillie!" She said.

""Hey! Every pony! I have an announcement to make!" I shouted, everyone quieted down to hear what I had to say. "I like Pinkie the most and she's pink!!" I said, slurring everything. I got cheers from every pony and they all cheered to it. But just before blacking out, I remember talking to Apple Jack, I can't remember what I said, but I remember being angry. She was angry too. And ever since that day, he didn't like each other. We don't hate each other, we just don't like each other.

In the morning, while every pony was getting over their hang overs, Mrs. Cake walked up to me and told me what happened between me and her. Apparently, I was accusing Apple Jack of having everything I wanted. When I asked for specifics, Mrs. Cake told me, "You said 'Apple Jack you lucky plot, you have a family who loves you and I have nothing. My mom is dead, and I hate my life!'."

"And what did Apple Jack say?" I asked.

"She said, 'you know nothin' about losing the ones you love, you can't possibly understand my life!' to which you said, 'try me! I want nothing more to punch you in the face right now!' and Apple Jack said, 'Not before I kick your head in!' and then you tried and failed to hit her because you were drunk, and Apple Jack responded by bucking you in the face, which failed, and ended in Twilight separating you two," Mrs. Cake explained.

"Why was she so violent towards me? And me to her?" I asked.

"I don't know, dear, maybe you should go and talk to her," Mrs. Cake suggested.

"Good idea! Though, I should wait until my hangover is gone," I said, holding my head.

Fluttershy came over to us just then, "You snore, you know that?" She asked giggling.

I laughed too, though quietly and said, "I'm sure I heard you neigh in your sleep a few times." all three of us laughed.

"Welcome home," Mrs. Cake said, smiling at me.

Home Sweet Home

Author's Note

Before any of you ask:

Home Sweet Home

Dear: Lilac Shimmer,

"In the light that falls at moon rise, in the rhythm of the rain. In the merical of ordinary days, in the hush of night, I will be in the whisper of lovers. Everywhere, you will find me there. In the rustle of a curtain, in the bustle of the world, in a thousand of unexpected ways! When you lift your gaze I will be the shimmer of one small star out there, shining everywhere! I will be there, beside you through the lonely nights that fall, so close your eyes, remember my embrace. I will be there, like mercy, I will find you through it all. This do I swear, I will be there!"

Did that catch your attention, love? It should. I took you to that musical the last time we were in Manehattan together... before everything. And even though I chose to o this alone, I hope you still know that I love you and miss you. And I mean it when I say, "This do I swear, I will never love any pony as much as I love you," I hope you can write back soon!

Love, forever yours,

Quill.

That was the first letter I sent to my Lilac the day after the wild rager in the Apple Barn. I was home sick, but I knew what I walked into and I also knew that there was no turning back. I rented a house owned by Noteworthy, who wasn't present at the party. He was also renting the house to Carrot Top, Red Heart, Bulk Biceps, and Thunderlane including Noteworthy. The house was big enough to fit every pony, the only problem was, we had to share rooms. I had to share with Carrot Top, which seemed fine at first, seemed fine. Though I felt a little left out because every pony seemed super close and I was just imposing on their space. So, as soon as I got unpacked and settled, I wrote to Honey Dew and Heather, suggesting that we hang out when we all had time to spare. When I was finished, Carrot Top walked in and asked me what I was doing. When I told her, she said, "You? Friends? Yeah, sure."

"I have friends, Carrot Top. They live in Canterlot and Manehattan. I've known them since I was about thirteen," I explained.

"Sure, if you guys are friends, then why didn't they come with you to Ponyville?" Carrot Top asked, smug.

"Because they have lives, Heather works as a wedding designer in Canterlot, and Honey Dew is building a rapidly growing business in Manehattan. I can't expect them to drop everything and come live with me to live somewhere that wouldn't be beneficial for their futures," I explained, reasonably but with growing irritation.

"Show me a picture of them," Carrot Top insisted.

"I'll do you one better. I'll let you meet them when they come and visit," I said, sass in every word.

"I bet they aren't real. I mean, you're not that good of an author anyway," Carrot Top snarled.

"Watch what you say, Carrot Top, because I might use this conversation against you someday, and if you think I'll just forget, you're sadly mistaken. And I will be relentless," I warned. She just glared and left our room. That's when I decided to buy a house as soon as I could. And clearly, I kept my promise.

The weeks that followed didn't get any better. Carrot Top was relentless. I'd sit quietly in our room, writing a poem, or reading, or something, and she'd walk in, blatantly insult me, and walk out like she said nothing. And she forced me onto the floor because she absolutely refused to sleep in the same bed as me, and the feelings were mutual on my end. I hadn't been this confused and this mad since Honey Dew's and Heather's parents were after me. And I haven't this kind of hurt and anger since.

One morning, at breakfast Noteworthy, Thunderlane, Bulk Biceps, and me were sitting around the table eating oat cereal and Carrot Top walked in. "Morning, boys!" she said, sassy.

"Uh, Quill is here too, why didn't you say 'hi' to her?" Thunderlane asked, confused.

"I thought I did! Colts like Mares, right? At least that's what I was taught anyway," Carrot explained.

"Quill is a mare, Carrot Top," Noteworthy explained hotly.

"No, Quill is a stallion because she clearly never shuts up about her girl friend back in Canterlot," Carrot explained. The venom falling off her tongue now visible to every pony who was present.

"Okay, Carrot Top, I'm going to explain this once. Quill has only mentioned Lilac a few times. Quill is a lesbian, not a colt. Nor does she have any body parts suggesting that she might be. So I politely ask you to back off or I am evicting you from this house and you'll have to go back to your parent's place," Noteworthy explained, getting dangerously close to yelling.

"Wow. You are being really rude, Noteworthy. Maybe I was just telling a joke!" She explained, hotly.

Bulk Biceps, who had been completely silent up until this point, practically ran to Carrot Top screaming, "If it were a joke then we would all be laughing! But we're not so back of Quill or I will not hesitate to force you out of this house myself!"

"Me too! You are being really rude and just awful to Quill's sexuality. She is a pony and deserves to be treated with love and tolerance!" Thunderlane added, screaming too. "What is your problem?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't have a problem, Thunderlane! Quill deserves everything I say to her," Carrot Top stated.

"Why?" Noteworthy asked, his face set in an unbelievably confused way.

"Because she thinks she's better than me!" Carrot Top shouted.

"Hang on!" I stepped in, walking towards her threateningly. "When have I ever said that I was better than you?! The first words I said to you were, 'I'm writing to my friends' and you said rude things to me!" I yelled. "So please, enlighten me on how you think I said that I'm better than you," I challenged. Silence. "Or is it because I'm a lesbian?! is that it? You don't like that I love mares, do you? Oh wait, you didn't know I was a lesbian until last week so that couldn't be it. So tell us, Carrot Top, why do you think I think I'm better than you," I challenged further.

"Yeah! Tell us!" Bulk Biceps and Thunderlane said in unison.

"Go ahead, tell us," Noteworthy said, challenging her as well.

To this day, I still don't have an answer.

Soon after that exchange, they all had to go to work. Noteworthy to the music store, Carrot Top to the market, and Bulk Biceps to the gym. Red Heart was already at the hospital by the time the rest of us woke up and ate breakfast. So, I was home alone. With only my thoughts as company, as I usually was when every pony was off to work. But that day, I chose to do something different.

I walked out of the house, making sure to lock it, and headed left towards the castle. Twilight had promised me a tour of her large library, and I was going to take up her offer. On my way, I ran into Lyra Heartstrings! We had seen each other around town, but that was the first time we'd actually said 'hi'!

"Hey, you're, Quill, right?" She asked, holding out her hoof.

"Yeah, I'm Quill, and you're Lyra!" I said, holing out my hoof. We shook. "Where are you headed to?" I asked.

"Oh, my girlfriend Bonbon is expecting me at her house, we're going to the park!" Lyra explained.

"Bonbon? I think she's a fan of mine, we met at my 'Welcome to Ponyville Party'," I said.

"Yeah, I know that she absolutely adores Love of an Undying Heart, you know the one about those two colts falling in love?" Lyra explained.

"I'm well aware of it," I chuckled. "It's almost like I wrote the book," I said, laughing.

She blushed, "Heh, yeah." "Any way, Bonbon is waiting for me," Lyra explained.

"Okay, cool! Tell her i say 'hi!'," I said.

"If I did that, she might faint, best to keep this exchange to ourselves," Lyra explained, blushing.

"So, what you're saying is, 'I'll keep you my dirty little secret!'," I sang.

"Why does that sound familiar to me?" Lyra asked, puzzled.

"I don't know, it sounds familiar to me too, and it seemed right for the situation we're in, but I just can't place where I heard it from," I explained, confused.

"Eh, it's probably a Neon Lights song," Lyra said, shrugging.

"Couldn't be, I don't listen to techno," I explained.

"We'll have to continue this conversation later then," Lyra commented, walking away.

"Sure! See you!" I called back to her. I then continued my journey to Twilight's castle.

I get there, and I realized, I didn't know how to knock on a palace. But I didn't want to be rude and walk in, it was my first time there. So, I kind of just lightly tapped my hoof on the door hoping that some pony could here me and I didn't ruin the paint or anything. A purple little dragon opened the door. "Hello! I'm Spike!" he greeted. I stared in confusion. I had never seen a dragon before, let alone a baby one, I didn't know how to react to this either. "And you are?"

"Oh! I'm Quill, I'm actually looking for Princess Twilight! She promised me a look at her library!" I explained, cheerfully.

"Oh yeah, Twilight told me about you, and it's just Twilight. She doesn't like to use her princess title other than royal affairs and meetings," Spike explained. "Come in!" he said, guiding me in the palace.

"She's actually probably in the library right now, I'll take you to her!" he offered.

"Wow, thanks! You are so helpful! I would have gotten lost trying to figure out this huge palace!" I said in relief.

"It's really no problem, after all, I am Twilight's number one assistant! And I may have saved the Crystal Empire twice, but who's counting?" Spike boasted.

I laughed, "Wow, Spike! You really are something!"

We reached the library, and my heart almost stopped! It was a huge cylindrical bluey purple room made entirely of crystal and shelves filled to the roof of book after book of all different sizes, widths, and colors! The carpet was soft and a pretty purple. I was speechless. I could not believe what my eyes were taking in. I stood there, my jaw open, and just looked at all of those beautiful books! I thought I died and went to heaven I swear! Twilight was at one of the top shelves on the opposite side of the room reading a book as she hovered there. "Twilight!" Spike called.

"Yeah, Spike? Oh! Quill! I wasn't expecting you today," Twilight said, putting the book back and flying down to me. I bowed.

"I thought I'd come surprise you, Prince- I mean, Twilight," I explained, sheepishly standing up from my bow. "I was really eager to see this place!" I explained further.

"It's amazing, isn't it? This is the one place I spend the most time in my home. I've read every book so many times, and reorganized it at least twice already," Twilight said, looking around proudly.

"I can see why, it is beautiful!" I agree, looking around too, agast.

"But, of course, you probably have a bigger collection than me, you being an author I'm sure you have thousands," Twilight said, brushing her collection off.

"Actually, as a filly, I never read anything I didn't have to. I mostly got in trouble with Velvet Clearing and caused my teachers all sorts of traumas just doing something remotely dangerous," I explained, again a little sheepishly. "But I do have one bookshelf in my room at home, along with a bookshelf in the mane sitting area in the house that I live in," I said.

"Wow, I just assumed that you have been reading since you were two because of how flawless your writing is," Twilight explained, stunned.

"I have an editor, Twilight, and I've only been writing since I was ten," I said, a hint of obviousness in my tone. "Thank you though, I will admit that my editor, after reading the work I did, sometimes will hand it straight to the publisher because he could find nothing wrong. I guess you could say, I'm more of a natural than I give myself credit for," I added.

"Would you like to take a closer look at my library?" Twilight asked.

"Could I?" I asked, as if I were a filly meeting Santa Hooves for the first time.

"Be my guest!" Twilight announced. I didn't need her to say it twice. Instantly I was at the shelves, reading cover after cover occasionally opening on up and scanning the insides if a title didn't sound familiar. I absolutely adored every moment of it, and totally brushed off what happened that morning. Twilight, meanwhile, was watching me from the ground probably giggling at how foal like I was acting. "I don't mean to be rude, Quill, but how did you get your cutie mark if you never wrote until you were ten?" she asked.

I floated down from where I was and looked at my cutie sadly. "It's a long story," I said, walking towards her.

"I didn't mean to oppose!" Twilight started.

"No, it's alright. No pony has ever really asked about it before, and honestly, it should be said," I explained, taking a deep breath in, and releasing it as if I'd been holding my breath for my entire life.

"I was three," I began. "I was brought to the orphanage a year before. Velvet, admittedly, didn't know what to do with a filly so young. So, she'd usually just give me Hayons and paper to draw on. Only, I didn't draw. Velvet told me that I told stories of my parents with those Hayons. And that I was good, really good. She told me that I got my cutie mark, not because I was writing, but because I was telling their story. I pride myself on being an honest and loyal pony. But in all reality, I've been lying to myself. I know that my parents were too poor to take care of me, but the part that I want desperately to forget is what Velvet told me about them.

"She said I wrote about them as villains. In perfect sentences I described in detail what they did to survive and how they achieved it for so long. Is it any wonder to you why my poems and stories are so depressing and, at times, lonely? It's because my cutie mark isn't in creative writing. It's in writing about the brutality of ponykind and how to survive it. Velvet said that I spent days writing down about my parents; and that when I was done, that is when I got my cutie mark. She took it from me and hid it until I was six when I actually learned how to read because I was writing since at least three. I have no idea who my parents are, or if they are still alive, but I know what they went through. And I know what I've gone through to be the mare I am right now. And Twilight, that is everything that I am meant to be," I finished my story and looked directly into Twilight's stunned and, frankly, frightened face.

"Quill," she said, barely above a whisper. "I had no idea a pony could be destined with something so cruel, and at three years of age! I mean, I recognised stuff like discrimination and segregation in your writing, but I simply thought it was just your emotions at that point in time, not that it was your destiny!" She explained, in shocked realisation.

"That's why I don't tell my cutie mark story to anyone. I feel as though ponies would treat me differently than before. And yeah, it was partly because of my cutie mark, but it was partly the situation I was in at the time as well. I can't write if I don't have proper motivation. Hence not writing again until I was ten. When I came to terms with my only real friend leaving me," I explained, full on embarassed.

"Well, do you want to know the story of my cutie mark?" Twilight asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Well, I would, but I already know," I explained.

"How?" Twilight asked, curious.

"Rainbow Told me during one of our hoof ball games. We play frequently," I explained, casually. "It's weird how we never really talked until today though," I said.

"Do you often talk to Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Apple Jack too?" she asked.

"Pinkie? I'm still too nervous to talk to her. She is my role model, and it's way too awkward for me to talk to her. I sometimes tag along with Rarity and Fluttershy to the spa though, even though I grew up in an orphanage, it was still in Canterlot, and I am used to the finer things in life," I explained.

"I get that, I was born and raised in Canterlot too, I know what it feels like to spend a weekend at a party where only the nobles are invited. Though, I preferred a good book over a social gathering back then, that's for sure. Though I still, on occasion, prefer a book over socialness. Bad habits die hard, I guess," Twilight explained.

She offered me a glass of wine and I accepted. We drank as we talked about our favorite books and characters. "Daring Do," she explained. "I love the intensity and the problem solving. Rainbow likes the adventure," Twilight added.

"I'm a casual fan of Daring Do, but honestly, I know this may sound weird, but I love plays and biographies. Back in Canterlot, I used to spend all hours of the night reading Shakespony's plays," I explained, taking another sip of wine.

"I prefer spellbooks and history books. I read Daring Do when I need a break reading all those books," Twilight added, sipping wine too.

It was red wine, and it was smooth and just the right amount of sweetness and bitterness. I finished my glass first, and Twilight asked if I wanted more, not wanting to be rude, I said yes. She poured mine and then topped her's off too.

"Geez, Twilight, I didn't expect the Princess of Friendship to be a regular drinker," I teased.

"I'm not, but I saw how much you drank at your party and me being the Princess of Friendship, I like to take notes on how ponies like to socialize. I kind of took a stab in the dark with you," Twilight explained. I blushed.

"Yeah, both of my parents were regular drinkers. Not alcoholics, just having a few glasses of alcohol during lunches, suppers, and celebrations. They kind of got me into it when I was about fifteen," I said. "In fact, during last year's Summer Sun Celebration, when Nightmare Moon returned, I was so drunk that I didn't even know what was happening until the next day when I was hungover and dizzy," I explained.

She giggled at what I said. "Honestly, the Summer Sun Celebration is a really big deal in Canterlot. Even though my family never drank during it, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that a lot of ponies do," Twilight grinned.

"You know, Twilight, you have a pretty smile," I sighed, looking into her face.

She had a face of mocked surprise, "Quill, are you flirting with me?"

"Mayyyyyybeee, I mean, I am drunk enough that flirting is always my go to!" I explain, taking another sip of wine. Twilight finished her glass and filled it again.

"Ha, I'm not surprised. But I have to warn you, I am into Stallions, not Mares, so all your flirting will be in vain," Twilight explained.

"Doesn't matter to me! 'Cause you're really cute, and III'mm really gay!" I slurred.

"Uh, Twilight, it's getting late and I think Quill should go," Spike said, walking in. I flirted with Twilight, and he was getting defensive of his caretaker.

"Oh! Look at the time! Here, since you're drunk, I'll walk you home," Twilight offered.

"No, no, it's fine," I objected, reading Spike's disapproving face. "I'm not that drunk that I can't find my way home. Finding a way out of this castle might be a problem though. I'm starting to see double!" I laughed. "Spike, would you be a dear and lead me back to the entrance?" I asked, as politely as I could, given the circumstance.

"Sure thing!" He said, in fake politeness. Twilight couldn't tell, but I could.

I left the castle and walked home as sober as I could. When I walked into the house, every pony was already home.

"Where were you?" Thunderlane asked, smirking.

"At Twilight's castle!" I said, trying not to slur.

"And you had a few glasses of what kind of alcohol?" Red Heart asked, cheerfully.

"Red wine. We had at least like five each. Maybe more," I giggled. "Where's Carrot Top? I wanna rub in the fact I got drunk today and she didn't," I say, walking towards the kitchen table.

"I kicked her out as soon as we got home," Noteworthy explained.

I went sleep and woke up, a bit dizzy but not hungover, in my own room and I loved it.

Two days later I got a letter from Lilac.

Dear, Quill Bird.

"In a language never spoken. Live the promises we've made. In the endless love that owned me heart and soul, in the certainty I will always be true and as near as my next prayer, you will find me there. In the echo of the ocean. In the haunting of the wind, in mysterious extraordinary ways. Through the darkest skies. I'll be the shimmer of one small star out there, shining everywhere. I will be there beside you through the lonely nights that fall. So close your eyes remember my embrace. I will be there, like freedom I will find you through it all, this do I swear I will be there."

Did you think I forgot, Love? Of course I didn't! And sorry you're just receiving this letter now. I have been really busy for so long and as soon as I read your letter I wanted to write back but I had soccer game after soccer game and those foals need all the refereeing I can give. But I finally made time and I'm writing back to you. It seems like forever since I've seen you, I miss you, how's Ponyville? Everypony treating you good? They better. No one messes with you unless they want to deal with mt wrath. Anyway, I love you and I miss you every day.

Love, Lil.

Birthday Surprise

The library in Twilight's castle soon became a second home to me. I used to spend hours upon hours in that library. Often helping Twilight finding certain spells in books for her projects. She would explain what they were, but she always used scientific words that I could never understand. I have never read so many books before, in that short amount of time. And Twilight was always so accommodating to me. I never wrote in that library, I was too happy all the time! That is if I wasn't reading a dramatic story or something. I'd often bring a notebook too, rereading my works and making notes on how I could have done better, you're always your worst critic. I was lying before, I did write a lot while in the library, I wrote to Lilac a lot in those moments. She was always a little jealous that I became such fast friends with the Princess of Friendship, but she was happy for me.

After the whole debacle with Carrot Top, Thunderlane and I have become really close friends. I was so excited for him to meet Honey Dew and Heather, and especially Lilac because they were both really sporty. Him and me were like two peas in a pod. He never stopped doubting me. Neither did Chocolate, Honey Dew, Velvet, or Rainbow Dash. Luckily for me, everyone was coming to Ponyville for my birthday! All but Velvet, of course, because she had an orphanage to run.

"Not going to lie, I'm a little nervous," Thunder admitted.

"About meeting my friends? Why? Because their unicorns?" I asked, teasing.

"No, because they've known you longer. They might get all protective of you," he explained.

"Ha! You're making it seem like I'm your marefriend or something, ease up, would you?" I told him.

We were lying in my bed our heads staring up at the ceiling, I had just told him my birthday plans. "Besides, Lil is the protective one," I added.

"Oh geez, what if they don't like me!? What if I make a huge fool of myself?" he asked, freaking out. He jumped off my bed and started pacing the floor.

"Why are you so stressed out, Thunder?" I asked, leaning on a foreleg looking at him.

"I don't know, I just want their approval I guess,I just don't want them to have the wrong impression of me!"

"Thunder, chill. Now are we meeting Rainbow in the park or what?" I said, changing the subject. He was a real drama queen back then.

Little did I know, that moment was the start of my new life. If only there was some way to reverse it.

We met Rainbow in the park, a full twenty minutes after we said we would be there, and Rainbow was not happy. "Late. I can't believe you're late!" she complained.

"Sorry, we had a situation that we had to deal with, Dash," I explained.

"Yeah, sorry," Thunder added.

"C'mon, let's just do this!" Rainbow said, forgiving us.

Thunder and Dash were having a race, I was to be the one who called the winner. "Ready, set, go!" I called, and watched them speed off. In the corner of my eye, I spotted something green and something beige. I turned and saw Bonbon and Lyra. "Oh, hey, Lyra!" I called, waving my hoof at her.

"Hey, Quill!" she responded, Bonbon in minor shock.

"What's up?" I asked, walking towards them.

"We were planning on having a picnic," Lyra explained, showing my the picnic basket in her magic.

I noticed Bonbon's shyness and decided to do something about it. "Hi," I said, holding out my hoof. "I'm Quill Bird. But, I guess you already knew that," I explained.

"I'm Bonbon," she squeaked.

"Hey!" Shouted an annoyed Rainbow Dash.

"What?" I asked.

"You were supposed to tell us who won! What happened?" Rainbow asked.

"Sorry, I saw Lyra and walked over to see her," I explained, Rainbow walking towards me.

"Oh hey, Bonbon, Lyra! What's up?" Thunder greeted.

"We're having a picnic," Bonbon explained, sheepishly because I was still there.

"Cool, well, we should get going. Red Heart promised to make lunch and is expecting everyone to be there," Thunder explained, grabbing my foreleg.

"See you Lyra! Nice meeting you, Bonbon!" I called.

Back at home, Note and Bulk were waiting. "Hey, you two!" Note greeted, seeing us walk in.

"Hey! Is Red in the kitchen?" I asked.

"No, she's still at the hospital. She told me she'd be late but promised to be home before 2:00," Note explained.

"That's fine, I'm not hungry yet anyway," Thunder explained.

"In the meantime, why don't you two come join us in the dining room! We're just talking," Bulk added. He was never good at keeping secrets and he looked particularly suspicious.

"Bulk, did you take the candy I was saving for Honey Dew in my room?" I asked, like a mother to a child.

"No," he said, avoiding my eyes.

"Awe, you bought me candies!?" I heard behind me, coming from the kitchen. I turned and saw both Honey Dew and Heather standing behind me. I screamed I was so excited to see them.

"Oh my Celestia! Why are you here? My birthday isn't until another three days!" I exclaim.

"We wanted to surprise you!!" Heather explained, as I wrapped them both in a hug.

"Well you did a great job! I wasn't expecting either of you so soon!" I said, beaming. "Is Lil here too?" I asked, eagerly.

Both of them looked disappointed. "No, she couldn't make it out this early, she promised to be here by your birthday though!" Heather explained hopefully.

"Yeah, she was really upset she couldn't make it today," Honey Dew added.

"It's fine, a life of a referee is always busy," I said, a little disappointed.

Some pony cleared their throat behind me. I turned and saw Noteworthy pointing his hoof discretely to Thunder. "Oh yeah! Girls, I'd love for you to meet my new best friend Thunderlane!" I said, guiding him over. "And of course you know Noteworthy and Bulk Biceps. They let you in!"

"Actually, I did, Noteworthy was at work," Bulk pointed out. No pony heard but me. The girls were all over poor Thunder in an instant, he had no chance of escape.

"Wow Thunderlane! You look fit!" Heather commented.

"And your eyes are gorgeous!" Honey Dew added.

"Have you been taking care of Quill?" Heather questioned.

"You better have been, or else you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Honey Dew threatened.

"Okay, girls! For the love of Celestia, let the poor boy breathe!" I insisted.

"We just want to make sure that he has been nice to you in our absence. I got the letter about Carrot Top and I wanted to be thorough about this one," Heather complained.

"Hush, you're scaring him!" I pointed out, pointing at him. His face filled with fear and the rest of him shaking and eyes facing forward. "Now apologize to him," I instructed.

"Sorry, Thunderlane. We were only trying to protect Quill," Honey Dew said.

"Yeah, we really didn't mean any of it, I swear," Heather added.

"Okay, c'mon, I want to show you guys around!" I said, leading the unicorns out the door. I showed them everything! And as I did, we caught up. Heather was promoted to manager of the bridal store, and Honey Dew's business was booming in Manehattan. I was so proud, still am. I saved the best for last. Twilight's castle. They stood there, gawking at the beauty and massiveness of it. I just looked at them, smirking. "I know, right? It's amazing!" I say, walking up to the doors.

"Wait! Hold on, what are you doing?" Heather asked, a bit nervous.

"Well, I was about to knock on the door until you stopped me," I explained.

"You mean, those letters that said that you're friends with Princess Twilight weren't just to make us feel jealous?" Honey Dew asked.

"When have I ever lied to you to make you feel jealous?" I asked, a bit hurt.

"Remember your sixteenth birthday party?" Heather said, blatantly.

I giggled, "Oh yeah, forgot about that."

I knocked on the door three times before Spike answered. "Oh hey, Quill!" he said, as he forgave me for flirting with his mother figure a while before.

"Hey, Spike! Is it alright if I take my friends on a little tour around the place?" I asked, sweetly.

Spike looked behind me and noticed the two nervous ponies behind me. "Are you sure they will be alright with it?" he asked, a little concerned.

"Oh yeah, Heather and Honey Dew will be fine! Once they warm up to the fact that they are in the Friendship Castle," I explained, somewhat unsure.

"Uh-huh, well, Twilight is busy in her room, so as long as you don't in there, I'm sure it'll be fine," Spike explained.

"Thanks, Spike! You're a real pal! C'mon, girls, we're losing daylight!" I announced, and the two unicorns walked cautiously, but excited towards the castle as I trotted with a casual bounce through the doors.

I've got to say, I miss those moments. The moments of pure joy, the moments of perfection. Those are the moments I remember most. I don't care about the fame, I don't care about the books, all I've ever cared about was moments like this. And now that it's gone, these are what I miss the most.

I showed them everything. Every corner, every crevice, anything that they wanted to see, I showed them. As predicted Heather liked the throne room with the table and the chairs, and Honey Dew really enjoyed the kitchen. It reminded me of the first day we became friends, and I showed them all around my house and the diner. It was so long ago, and it still is. A lot has changed.

"Oh hey, Quill! Are these your friends?" I heard. Turning I saw Twilight standing behind me.

"Yeah, Spike said it was okay if I gave them a tour, you're not mad, are you?" I explained. "I was just about to show them the balcony," I explained further.

"Of course it's okay. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine!" Twilight replied. "Though, can I just say that your friends really don't have to bow in my presence," she said. I turned to see that Heather and Honey Dew were both getting up from a bow.

"Sorry, Princess," Honey Dew said, a bit sheepishly.

"It's alright, and please, just call me Twilight," Twilight explained.

"Sure, we can do that Prin- I mean, Twilight," Heather said, nodding her head nervously.

Twilight nods back and continues her way through the castle.

After the tour, my friends and I went to Sugar Cube Corner. At first I was nervous because I was afraid that we'd run into Pinkie, but as we walked in, I over heard Mr. Cake talking about Pinkie Pie on her deliveries. I pointed to one of the tables and said, "Meet me over there, I'll take the order."

"But you don't know what we want," Honey Dew protested.

"Trust me, you're going to love it! And besides, you really think after all these years I wouldn't know what you like?" I asked.

"Prove me wrong," Honey Dew said.

I rolled my eyes. "Heather likes sweet and fruity things. Her favorite treat at home was a strawberry banana and blueberry smoothie. You, on the other hoof, likes tangy sweet things. You always got lemon tarts and, when we got older, a margarita," I explained.

"Okay, I trust you," Honey Dew explained.

"Ouch, I love your ever flowing fountain of trust," I said sarcastically. Heather giggled and covered her mouth.

I walked over to the counter and I got greeted by Mrs. Cake. "Hello, Quill! Who were those ponies you were talking to?"

"Hey, Mrs. Cake! Those are my friends from Canterlot, they are here because my birthday is in a few days," I explained.

"Oh! Happy early birthday, Quill! What can I get for you?" Mrs. Cake said, and I took our order.

I walked over to them, or at least Honey Dew, as Heather was at the table next to ours flirting with an Earth Pony Stallion. I knew it wouldn't end the way she wanted because that pony was what ponies here called 'The Doctor' but his name was Time Turner. And it wouldn't work because he is very famous around there for being single and not knowing how to mingle. He and Derpy, a mailmare, are pretty close friends, but that's it.

"How's it going, Doc?" I asked, sitting down next to Honey Dew.

"Splendid! I am on the breakthrough of another experiment! I'm just here killing time before I go back to see if my hypothesis was correct!" He explained, excitedly.

"I'm very excited for you, how long do you have to wait?" I continued, Heather giving me a glare that I was interrupting her flirting.

"Well that's easy!" He explained, while glancing at the clock in the shop. "Why I had to leave two minutes ago," he stated resolutely. "Great whickering stallions! Two minutes ago?! My experiment!! Gotta run ladies!" he said, panicking out the door.

"Awe, Quill, why'd you do that?" Heather complained, getting up from the table and sitting next to me.

"Trust me, you weren't getting anywhere with him," I explained.

"Why? Is he gay?" she questioned.

"Not that I know of, he's just mostly oblivious to most romantic interactions. I did hear that he and Rose, a local gardener, had a thing at one point though," I explained, and Heather grumbled.

"Awe, it's okay, Heather, you still got us!" Honey Dew chimed in.

"Honey Dew, Quill has a marefriend and you own a business. Plus, both of you are mares. And I love you both, just not in that way," Heather explained.

I started to snicker and said, "What about the last time we hung out? Didn't you and Hun-" I got cut off with Heather, almost violently, covering my mouth with her hoof.

"We were all drunk, you dared me to kiss her, and I thought we agreed never to mention it again!" Heather hissed through her teeth.

"Geez, Heather, it was just a kiss on the mouth, and you barely used tongue," Honey Dew said, before being shushed by Heather.

As if on cue, Mrs. Cake came to give us our treats. "One Pinkie Pie Puff, one Cocoa Shake , and one Very Berry Muffin!" She announces.

"The cupcake goes to her," I said, pointing to Honey Dew. And the blueberry and raspberry muffin goes to her," I said, pointing to Heather.

"Which makes the chocolate shake yours," Mrs. Cake said, giving each of us what I ordered. "Enjoy!" She said, excitedly.

"What is this?" Honey Dew said, levitating the cupcake.

"You'll love it!" I explained.

"It's pink with white frosting and what looks to be a yellow balloon stirring straw as a decoration," She said, spinning it slightly in her magic.

"Just take a bite," I insisted.

She did. "Mmm! It's lemonade!"

"See, told you," I said.

"And mine?" Heather asked, more cautious than anything.

"Exactly what I said it was, a blueberry raspberry muffin," I said, a bit annoyed at her tentativeness. I go ahead and start sipping my chocolate milkshake.

They happily nibbled at their new favorite treats as I thought about my birthday, narcissistic, I know. "So, what are we doing for my birthday?" I asked.

"Not sure, is there a good bar here?" Heather asked.

"Yeah, The Salt Lick, but you know I don't fancy going to the bars as much as you and Honey Dew," I explained.

"Oh! What if, we get you drunk somewhere else!" Honey Dew suggested.

"Wow! You two are really keen on getting me drunk, aren't you?" I asked, giggling.

"Oh, come on, when was the last time you got hammered drunk?" Honey Dew asked, and I got flashbacks to my 'Welcome to Ponyville' party.

"It's been a while," I explained, trying not to cringe remembering that night.

"Then that settles it. We are going to get you so drunk that you won't even remember your age!" Heather said, resalutly.

Goodbye, Until We See Each Other Again

The thought of adoption was in my head the rest of the day, I had to come up with a way to tell my roommates I wanted this to happen. Plus I had to tell Lil too! I decided that I needed to tell Lil first so I left a note on the fridge that said "Won't be back for a few hours, Quill" and was off to Canterlot. I bought the last ticket available for that train at the time slot. For those who don't know, it takes about five hours to get from Ponyville to Canterlot in good weather. But that day, it felt so much longer. I felt sweaty, my mouth was dry, I felt hungry (I eat when I'm nervous) and I had this thought of "what if she doesn't approve?" It was a familiar thought, to say the least, I have been known to be quite impulsive and sometimes that has landed me in a deep water situation with Lil. Especially when one of my impulses distracted me from important things like meeting her parents, or a birthday, or anniversary, but I was sure that this wouldn't be any different than all the other times!

I got off the train and headed towards the dinner first, to test my luck if Lil was there. Nope. Joe was there though, and we quickly said hello and bye before I went to her apartment to see if she was there. To my luck she was! "Hey! Oh my Celestia! Quill, I didn't get a letter saying you were coming!" Lil exclaimed.

"I didn't send a letter," I explained, excited but sheepish.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, embracing me with a hug.

"Well," I started.

"Well?" she asked, a little stern, she knew that tone of voice.

I told her everything. The night before, Thunderlane, Rainbow Dash, but I didn't say anything about the adoption. I didn't want to come out with it right away.

"Oh, my poor dear. Come, I'll brew you some tea," Lil offered.

"Thank you, Lil, you brew a really good pot of tea, but what I told you wasn't everything," I explained.

"Go on," she said.

"Well, you remember me telling you about Summer Days?" I asked.

"Your filly-hood friend? What about her?" Lil questioned.

"You might want to sit down," I stated, and begrudgingly, she did so.

"So?" she asked.

"I'm kind of adopting her... foal..." I said, hesitantly.

"What!? Quillian Bird you have got to be kidding me! Making a decision like that without my approval is completely uncalled for!" Lil started. "When I decide to do something, I go to you first before I make any kind of decision. Am I Wrong!?" She shouted.

"I guess that's true, but with was kind of unplanned," I tried to defend.

"Oh! So it's another one of your impulse decisions!? This is exactly like the time with my parents. I can't believe you would do something so reckless!" Lil shouted.

"It's not like I've actually adopted the foal!" I protested, raising my voice.

"I know you, Quill. You probably gave your word to that foal that you'd adopt it by some crazy time like in two days. Am I right!?" I was silent. I didn't want to tell her it was the next day. "Well!?" She shouted expectantly.

"Tomorrow," I muttered.

"Oh, Quillian! Now why on Celestia's green Equestria would you promise something like that without coming to me first!" she said, frustrated.

"I felt like I owe it to Summer Days," I muttered again.

"Quill, you don't owe anyone anything! Especially me," Lil explained.

"What do you mean by that, Lilac?" I asked.

"I mean I'm doing what I should have done after the second time you forgot our anniversary. I'm breaking up with you, Quill," Lilac stated simply.

"So, after two years, you're just going to drop me? Just like that?" I ask, tears forming.

"I guess I am. But don't worry, I'm not taking any money out of your birthday surprise," she stated simply. "And, Quillian? I don't hate you. I wish you the best in raising that foal," she finished.

And just like that, I didn't see Lilac Shimmer until years later.

On the train ride home I thought long and hard about our conversation if you could call it that, and she had a point. I did ruin the meeting with her parents by being over eight hours late, and I missed both our anniversaries, and I did promise to adopt Storm by the next day. I was at fault. And she did the right thing in breaking our relationship off, but I couldn't focus on that, I had to figure out what to say to Bulk Biceps and them. I got off the train and flew and walked at the same time to my home where every pony would be curious as to where I was.

I walked in, and I was greeted by Red Heart putting a box labelled 'Quill's stuff' on the carpet. "Red Heart!?" I exclaimed. I looked around and saw several boxes, in Noteworthy's writing, that says 'Quill's stuff' scattered all around the floor. "Guys! What are you doing! Is it because I yelled at Thunderlane? I'm sorry, Thunder! I was just upset that's all," I said, frantically, seeing the boys bring down more stuff. I then see Rainbow, Twilight, Heather, and Honey Dew do the same. "Why is every pony moving my stuff?" I said, slightly heart broken.

"Quill, your birthday is tomorrow, so we wanted to surprise you!" Twilight explained.

"With kicking me out of the house I live in!?" I asked, tears forming. I couldn't believe what they were doing.

"No, Quill! Here, follow us!" Honey Dew said, walking up to me and taking my hoof.

"Where are we going?" I asked, broken for a second time in a row that day.

"You'll see," Thunderlane said, slightly pushing me out the door as Honey Dew led me out of the house.

And they led me through town, I had no idea where we were going, but we were getting close to Twilight's castle. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"We don't want to ruin the surprise!" Heather said.

"Should we blindfold her?" Red Heart asked.

"I didn't bring a blindfold," Bulk said, a little sad.

"We don't need one, come on," Noteworthy said, taking the lead.

We soon stood in front of Twilight's castle. I looked very puzzled. "Uh, thanks, guys, but I know where Twilight's castle is, I've been here more than I can count," I said, blatantly.

"Not that," Twilight explained, walking up to a house next to her castle, "This," she stated.

"Yeah! We all pitched in and bought you a house!" Bulk Biceps announced.

"What? Really!?" I asked, my chest filling up with excitement.

"Yeah! I mean, you are certainly not the only one moving out, but we did make sure you were the first for your birthday present," Red Heart explained.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Heather asked.

"Go into your new place!" Rainbow instructed.

"Yeah! Look around!" Thunder added.

Eagerly, I walked towards my home. Thunder opened the door and let me take a look inside. It has greyish blue walls, a beige carpet, a brown leather couch, a window to the kitchen, two bedrooms, a bathroom in the master bedroom and in the path way to the two bedrooms on the left and kitchen to the right. The living room is fairly big too, which I loved because I could invite friends over. "Wow," I said. "You did this for me?" I asked, my eyes welling up.

"It was Thunder's idea," Noteworthy stated.

"Well, Twilight and Heather helped with the decor," Thunder admitted.

"Do you like it, Quill?" Red Heart asked.

"Oh, you guys! I love it! If I could wrap my hooves around all of you at the same time I would!" I said, tears falling from my face. And for one of the only times in my life, they were happy tears.

"I'm so glad you like it," Heather said, placing boxes on the ground. I now realized that she and Twilight were levitating my stuff to my new house. "Now let's help you un pack!" she said, opening a box up.

And for the rest of the day, my friends and I put my house exactly how I saw fit. And that night, Heather, Honey Dew, Thunder, and I crashed in my living room while all the others had enough energy to go home. I loved that home, and Strom loved that home too. If I had a choice, I would have stayed there forever. I was the proudest home owner ever, and the next day, I would have a son who joined in my pride. I'm repeating myself, I know, but even remembering that place makes me excited and I can't help what I write about it. I miss it too much.

Mentally Unprepared for This

Author's Note

This is just a warning that there will be mature themes that will not be glanced over, like in the past, in this chapter and coming up chapters.

Mentally Unprepared for This

It was very close to my birthday when things started going south. It was just a normal morning, only, something felt off. At first I couldn't place why things were off. I got out of bed, looked out the window, and saw it was dark outside. Panicked, I walked over to my side table and saw that my clock said 4:32 a.m and I got concerned. And then, something in my head shifted and I could feel tears fall from my eyes. I thought about Sugar, and how she used to rub my back when I couldn't sleep at night. And I realized too, that this was the first time I truly thought about her since she passed. I just cried, and cried on the floor not caring how loud I was being and who could hear me. And some pony did.

I felt a foreleg wrap around be and I jumped. "Sugar!?" I said automatically. But it wasn't Sugar like I secretly hoped. It was Thunderlane. He looked down on me with pity. But something else was in those eyes. Understanding? Sorrow? I was too distraught to ask. He laid beside me, wrapping his wing around my back. This action, he did it so gently, as if to say, "It's okay. I am here for you." I don't know how much longer I cried, or when I fell asleep. I remember prying my eyes open from the salt that laid around them. I felt the warm sun and remember how alien it felt compared to the cold moon. My ears twitched subtly and I could hear the faint snores of Thunder beside me.

I tried to move slowly away from him, trying not to wake him, but I did so anyway. "Good morning, sleep well?" he asked, sleep still in his voice.

"I guess so, what time did I fall asleep?" I asked, my voice quiet and my throat slightly sore from the night before.

"About 6:00 a.m," Thunder explained, sitting up. I blush from guilt.

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't be. If I can't be there for a friend then what kind of a pony would I be?" he asked. "A crappy one, that's for sure," he assured.

"I- I just don't know what came over me," I explained. "I was fine until last night," I explained further.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Thunder asked.

"Not really. All I'll say for now is that I came to Ponyville to get away from something, and now it seems to have followed me here," I said, sighing a little. I know what I was doing. I was hiding the truth from my friend. I didn't think that he would be able to understand, so I didn't tell him the complete truth.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, as if knowing he was about to go into personal territory.

"Sure," I said, barely above a whisper.

"Who is Sugar?"

My heart clenched when he said that name. I didn't say anything. I just spun my head around and glared at him. I thought that he had no right of knowing who she was, or even saying the name. I was furious. So furious, in fact, that I went to my window, opened it, and flew off to the bed and breakfast Heather and Honey Dew was staying at. Though flying to my friends, all I wanted was Lil. I missed her and just wanted to hear her soothing, pretty voice telling me everything was going to be alright.

"Quill! Why the rush?" I heard behind me.

Thinking it was Thunder, I shouted, "I don't want to see you! Go away!"

"Geez, what did I do, Quill?" I heard.

I turned my head to see Rainbow beside me looking puzzled. "Awe, I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge this morning," I explained, hovering in the air.

"Hey! That's okay! Where are you headed?" Rainbow said.

"To the bed and breakfast. My friends came here yesterday for my birthday and we planned to spend the day together planning my party," I lied.

"But, Pinkie has already planned a party for you, she's been planning it since she found out your birthday. Didn't she tell you?" Rainbow questioned.

"Yeah, about that..." I said, trying to come up with an explanation.

"You still haven't talked to her, have you?" Rainbow asked bluntly.

"I can't help it! After my 'Welcome to Ponyville' party I've been too embarrassed to even look at Pinkie Pie!" A practically shouted.

"Why? Because you got drunk in front of her?" Rainbow asked.

I nodded in shame.

"But, you drank wine with Twilight, and you go over to the castle all the time!" Rainbow explained.

"Twilight is different! Yeah, she's a really great friend, but I don't look up to her as much as I do Pinkie! Ever since I read the news article about you guys, Pinkie has been my inspiration! She is the one who got me to decide to come here, and now that she knows how much of a drunken mess I can be, I can't go near her! I'm so embarrassed!!" I shouted.

"Hey, pro tip, Quill. You gotta be careful what you say and do. Because Pinkie is known for teleportation and good hearing. And yelling like that, might get her attention," Rainbow said.

"Teleportation? But... she's an Earth Pony," I said, puzzled.

"It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it," Rainbow said, and again I looked at her puzzled. "No, trust me. It's not worth it," she explained.

"Well, thanks, but I should be going, don't want to keep them waiting," I explained.

"Hang on, I'll come with you!" Rainbow said.

"Oh, no, you don't have to. I can manage on my own," I stated.

"Well, yeah, you're a full grown mare, of course you can 'manage on your own'. I want to meet your friends!" Rainbow explained, excitedly.

I screamed internally once I realized that I almost slipped out the real reason I was going to Heather and Honey Dew. "Okay, I'll lead you to them then," I said, awkwardly.

"It's getting pretty chilly," Rainbow commented. "I always hate the winter and always crave those warm summer days," she added.

My chest compressed and I couldn't breathe. Summer Days. I hadn't thought about her in a while, and I mean really think of her. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her voice, after that morning hearing her name was just too much for me. I started crying again. Loud, heaving breaths that betrayed all compossier I had around Rainbow. I flew down to the ground and laid in the soft, coolish grass. "Hey, was it something I said? I-I'm sorry," Rainbow Dash said, flying down next to me. At the time, I had no idea what was with me that day. First Thunder and then Rainbow? I was a complete mess!

Looking back, I realize that it was because I suppressed everything I felt for an unhealthy amount of time; and that day, my mind just couldn't hold all of it in. This was a different sadness from Sugar's funeral, it was a different sadness from when Heather and Honey Dew's parents left us for that while, it was a more internal sadness, a painful one. I can't explain more than that, because it is very hard to. A sadness that is unknown to those who haven't felt it. That brings hopelessness and loneliness and won't let go until your tears stop and you're left with melancholic peace and mental exhaustion. That is the sadness I felt that day, it wouldn't be the last time I felt it either.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Rainbow asked in a stage whisper.

"S-Su-ummer," I stuttered through a never ending waterfall of tears.

"Do you miss summer too?" Rainbow asked in confusion, not really understanding.

"N-No, my childhood friend. We were in the same orphanage to-together," I sniffed, barely keeping anything together.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I know what it feels like losing somepony who you thought you were close to," Rainbow explained. Her voice never losing a tone of sadness and understanding. Not the same sadness I was experiencing at the time though.

At that moment, I had an epiphany. Not because of what Rainbow said, but because of Summer's memory. I was in Ponyville! The same town where Summer had left her foal! I got up suddenly, startling Rainbow, and ran to the busy part of town. "Where are you going?" Rainbow asked, flying after me.

"To the orphanage!" I shouted back excitedly.

"Why!?" she said as she caught up.

"I want to make things right," I said simply, a slight smile as I said it.

We ran through the town. Passing buildings, dodging ponies, I was determined to get there. I was determined to make things up to Summer. And we get there. A cozy little place with a posted sign in neat fancy letters "Ponyville Orphanage a home for the lost ones". I looked and saw through the windows and saw little fillies and colts up to the age of ten staring through the window at me. I gulped and looked if Rainbow Dash was beside me. When I confirmed that she was, I trotted towards the house and the little fillies and colts left excitedly towards the door to greet me and Rainbow.

A stoutly old mare with a grey mane and turquoise body waddled towards us as we walked in. "Good morning Quill and Rainbow," she greeted.

"Good morning to you too, Ms. Veil," I said politely.

"Morning," Rainbow added.

"I wasn't expecting you two, do you need something?" Ms. Veil asked.

"Uh, actually, I would like to talk to you, but maybe somewhere a little more private? Like your office?" I asked.

"Of course, follow me," Ms. Veil obliged. I nodded to Rainbow, signalling to her that she could leave, and she did. Ms. Veil brought me to the back of the small house to a small, cramped room that held a single desk, chair, and filing cabinet beside the door.

"So, Quill, what can I do you you?" Ms. Veil asked.

"Um, well, I was hoping to adopt a colt or filly, but the qualifications of this colt or filly is very... well... specific," I explained.

"Let's hear it," she stated, reading her pencil and paper.

"Well, this colt or filly needs to be at the most four years old. Because about four years ago my old friend had the foal and put the foal here. You may remember her. Summer Days?" I explained.

"I do recall a young filly by that name. She was yellow, yes?" Ms. Veil asked.

"Yes! Is her foal still here?" I exclaimed.

"Indeed he is! I'll go fetch him. Wait right here," Ms. Veil explained.

With a sudden dropping of my stomach, I realized what I was doing. I was going to adopt Summer's foal. Without Lil's or Noteworthy's consent. I had a mini panic attack as I waited for Ms. Veil's return with the little colt. The doorknob turned and I jerked around to see Ms. Veil and a colt that was blueish grey with dark purple eyes and a yellow mane and tail with a strip of black in them. He looked so scared and unsure. For a moment, I didn't care about the consent of those I needed. I wanted that foal. But common sense quickly came back to me when Ms. Veil introduced him to me. "Storm, this is Quill. She wants to adopt you." Hope rose a little in the colt's face as he shyly looked up at me.

"Well, uh, the thing is, I'll have to talk it over with my marefriend and landlord, but it won't take much convincing," I explained sheepishly.

"That's fine. Go talk with them and come back tomorrow with the answer," Ms. Veil explained, understandingly.

Storm walked up to me and said, "It's okay, Ms. Quill, you don't have to come back," and my heart broke.

I kneeled down and tried to look him in the eyes, but he didn't want to meet my gaze. "I promise you, Storm. I'll go all the way to Canterlot to get my answer if I have to. I will adopt you by morning."

He still avoided my gaze, but his body language told me that I had gotten through to the little pegasus colt.

"Thank you for visiting, Ms. Quill, we will all wait eagerly for tomorrow with your reply," Ms. Veil said, coming towards us. That settled that then. All I needed to do, now that I was more clear headed and rational, was to go to Thunderlane and apologize for that morning.

"Thank you again, Ms. Veil," I said, shaking her hoof.

I walked out as briskly as I could and when I got outside, Rainbow was waiting for me with Heather. "Hey, Rainbow, you didn't have to wait for me," I explained. "Hey, Heather! Where is Honey Dew?" I greeted.

"She's in the market talking to a stallion she met," Heather explained.

"Hey, I know I didn't have to wait for you, but you looked pretty beat up, so I wanted to wait here to see if you were okay," Rainbow said.

"Beaten up? I don't see any bruises or anything to suggest a fight," Heather said, confused yet worried.

"Not really beaten up, I just had a melt down, that's all. But I'm fine now, thonk you, Rainbow," I explained to both.

"Oh, are you sure? You don't want to talk about it?" Heather offered.

"Later today, okay? Really, I'm fine," I explained, half lying half telling the truth. I wasn't actually okay, I was thinking of how to explain the adoption to Noteworthy and Lil, plus I was still a little upset from thinking of Summer and Sugar, but I really did want to talk to my friends about it.

"Come on, your birthday is in two days, and we all have a surprise for you!" Heather explained, changing the subject.

"A surprise? For me?" I questioned. I looked over at Rainbow, she shrugged. "I was not told that I would be getting a gift," I explained, quite confused.

"That's the surprise, silly!" Heather explained, getting behind me and starting to push me. What was going on? Why was this happening today of all days. I was stressed, depressed, anxious, and was not prepared for what was about to happen. Plus, I didn't think that anything the girls would give me would help me at all. And I was right, somewhat.