Horse Lady and Monkey Girl
“Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh!”
“Go! Quick! Sweet Celestia, hurry!”
Pitter-pattering girl feet over beige carpet.
Swishing sweatpants and wrinkled nightshirts.
A billowing ripple of bedsheets against a rainbow-tinted nightlight.
“Wow, Sunset, do you really use her name in vain on the other sid—?”
“Get under the damn covers, Twilight! Jeez!”
“Sorrysorry! Snkkkt—”
“Ah hell. Hahaha—”
“Heehee! Ackies! Sunset, your hand! My... m-my hair's tangled in—”
“My bad! Just—”
“Guhhhh—”
“Stay still for a second. Lemme just—”
Bodies squirm upon the brink.
Struggling.
Orange and yellow streaks, reflected off window glass, clashing with the endless white drift of snow outside.
“You got it?”
“Yes. There. Now pull the blanket—”
“Sweet Archimedes, it's so c-cold!”
“Wait a few seconds before spitting the obvious!”
“I'm sorry.”
“Don't be sorry, Twilight. Just get warm. Good grief.”
“Heehee...”
“Haha—almost... help me—”
Orange fingers.
Purple fingers.
Both girls are a shivering tangle of goosebumps and giggles.
They dive into the mattress with the force of a collapsing star.
It takes a veritable wrestling match for them to pull the sheets over their bodies, but soon they're squirming and wriggling into place underneath—resembling in no small part an eight-legged pastel monstrosity trying to weave its cotton and wool web.
“...can't believe I had to pull out every blanket from the closet.”
“Mrmmfff—is that why this comforter smells like dust and Pine-Sol?”
“Twilight, could you grab the—”
“There's still another blanket? ACK!”
“Guh! What?! What's the matter?”
“Your f-feet, Sunset!”
“Oh crap! Sorry...”
“Your toes are like—heehee—at absolute zero!”
“They won't touch you again. Promise! Just... oh Goddess, haha... help me grab the other blanket—”
“Can't you r-reach it?”
“No.”
“But—”
“Your boobs are in the way, Twilight!”
“Oh gosh! Snkkkt—”
“Hahaha! S-sorry...”
“Heehee.”
“Twilight—”
“I got it! I got it! Here...”
Rippling.
Rustling.
Purple and yellow hands yank the fabric across the length of the bed.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank Celestiaaaaaaaa...”
At long last, the final blanket has been pulled up.
The bed inside Sunset Shimmer's upstairs apartment chamber might as well be reaching the ceiling now; the sheets and duvets are piled so high.
The two teenagers huddle beneath the fluffy, woolly dome, their voices forming an echoing cadence of giggles—vibrating from the shivers still persisting in their respective bodies.
“Just... just r-relax, Twilight—”
“I... heehee... I am relaxed, Sunset—”
“Stay close to me.”
“But your hands are cold too—”
“Stay close, and our body heat will do the rest.”
“This isn't a Jack London short story, Sunset. Heehee... we're not going to freeze to death—”
“Don't joke! You heard the news! It's going to get ten below tonight!”
“Are you scared?”
“What? No!”
“Heehee—”
“It's not f-funny! I mean it! It sucks!”
“I'm not complaining, Sunset.”
“Ughhh...”
“Why in God's name don't you pay for heating, anyway?”
“Because...!”
Sunset huffs, squeaks—only making Twilight giggle all the more.
It's getting hard to differentiate their shivers from their shakes of laughter.
Twilight smiles into the heated breaths dancing between them.
“Do horses have hotter body temperatures back in Equestria?”
“It's not that!”
“Surely you have air conditioning...”
“Well...”
Twilight gasps.
“You don't?!”
“Whenever I got cold, I'd just... did a basic thermal spell with my horn.”
“Oh Sunset...”
“Or I'd light a bunch of candles! Lickety Split!”
“Heeheehee... and here I believed you thought of everything.”
“Look, I didn't think it would get this cold when I rented the apartment, okay?! And besides... like... isn't your world heating up to the brink of an irrecoverable climate apocalypse or something? What the Hell is this cold snap, anyways?”
“Global Warming's no excuse for you not to pay a h-heating b-bill, Sunsettttt...”
And Twilight's voice cascades into incessant giggles.
Sunset merely groans, rubbing her hands together and blowing on them.
“Heeheehee...”
Twilight calms her breaths in time to murmur beneath the rustling blankets.
“What's the matter?”
“Can... b-barely feel my fingers. So numb... pfffft... almost feels like I'm back to having h-hooves again.”
“Here, Sunset.”
“What are you doing—?”
“Where are your hands? Can't see anything under these blankets.”
“Want to crawl out of the bed and fetch your glasses from the table?”
“Are you crazy?!?”
“Hahahaha—ow! Twilight!”
“What?”
“You poked me!”
“Do I-I want to know wh-where?”
Another fountain of giggles pools up under the bed, warming them, melting the frigid traces of discomfort and awkwardness away.
“There. I think I've got your hands now.”
“Awww, Twilight... they're freezing. You don't have to—”
“Shhh. Allow me.”
Sunset lies still, feeling as Twilight pulls her hands closer to her lavender lips.
Tenderly, the once-timid egghead blows and breathes on the frigid digits in her grasp.
A lasting shudder runs through Sunset's body, and as the seconds ripple on, she starts to relax—relishing in the fact that her shivers are starting to decrease.
As the feeling in her hands starts to come back, so too do her eyes adjust to the darkness beneath the ten or twelve layers of blankets.
She sees a pair of squinting eyes: violet slivers full of mirth just inches from her face.
It's accompanied by a smile as the girl lying in bed with her finishes breathing on her fingers.
Twilight gives Sunset's wrist and palm a final rub-down before exhaling through a purr:
“There, is that better?”
“Definitely. Thanks, babe.”
“Heeheehee...”
“Whaaat?”
“I never thought I would like that.”
“What? Being called babe?”
“Shining used to call me 'baby' just to tease me. But when you say it... I dunno... I just get all tingly inside.”
“You sure that isn't the blankets speaking?”
“Sunset...”
“I'm really sorry I couldn't make it any warmer here, Twilight. I should have known better. We probably would have been better off spending the night at your place.”
“But I like hanging out here! At your apartment!”
“Are you kidding? This place is a Celestia-forsaken iceberg.”
“Heehee! So what? You're here keeping me warm.”
“Team effort, babe.”
“But you really really should try and take better care of your fingers, Sunset. Wear gloves this time of year, or something. You're no longer a horse lady, y'know.”
“I'm sorry. I-I guess I just haven't put much thought into it—”
“Heeheehee...”
“What now?”
“'Horse ladyyyy.'”
“Ugh, Twilight—”
A lavender nose rubbed a yellow forehead.
“You're a horse ladyyyyyyyy—”
“Stop calling me horse lady!”
More giggles.
Again, that lavender nose brushed Sunset's smiling cheek.
“Make meeeeee.”
“Goddess, how would you like it if I called you 'monkey girl?'”
“Whatever makes you blush! I like a rosy sunset, how about you?”
“Ah jeez...”
“Heeheehee... silly horse lady. So far away from a magical Queen with a sun on her butt. No wonder she's not used to the cold.”
“Celestia's a princess, not a Queen.”
“Uh huh.”
“And her flank doesn't generate d-doesn't generate h-heat... UGH! Are we even having this conversation?”
“Hahaha!”
“Pffft... buck me with rusted horseshoes.”
“Not on this side of the mirror.”
“I figured you would have quipped 'not without a first date.'”
“Mmmmmmmm... but we're well past that, now, huh?”
Gentle lavender hands brace Sunset's shoulders.
Warm exhales waft between them, increasing the temperature of the magical girly bed cocoon to delicious heights.
A relaxing, fuzzy silence takes over—a stark contrast to the cloud of giggles that has just now dissipated, although not for long.
Twilight pierces the satin moment.
“Are m-my fingers too cold?”
“No. They're fine. You're... so fine.”
“This is actually working.”
“I know, r-right?”
“Almost like we're rough and tough survivors huddled up in Antarctica.”
“Sure thing... uhm... which Pole is that again?”
“South.”
“Right. I knew that.”
“Need a little brushing-up on your Terran geography, Sunset?”
“Well, I got most of it down-pat... though I'm honestly as bad as Rainbow Dash at times.”
“Awwwwwww... now don't say that.”
“No, I mean it. You humans have a lot of Stans in Eurasia.”
“Oh gosh.”
“There's Afghanistan. Pakistan. Uzbekistan...”
“H-hey! Well at least you know the names of them!”
“...Wetpantiesstan.”
“Snkkkt—there is no Wetpantiesstan!”
“I dunno. At this rate...”
“Heehee... care to point that out on the map?”
“You tell me...”
And Twilight feels a playful squeeze to her pajama'd derriere.
Her lavender skin turns a purpler shade.
“Eep!”
Sunset purrs.
“Am I getting warm?”
“Your f-fingers aren't c-cold anymore.”
“I have a super nice girlfriend to thank for that.”
“Anything for you, horse lady.”
“Good monkey girl.”
“Heehee... oh gosh...”
“I'm... uh... really glad you're here, Twilight.”
“Please don't feel bad about how cold it is. I'm really... h-happy right now.”
“Yeah. I can tell.”
“Hmm?”
“T-tell me something...”
Sunset breaks into a giggle-snort but fights her way through.
“...how do you handle them being so close to your chin?”
“Huh? Handle what?”
“You know...”
“... … ...oh, you mean nipples?”
“They're like diamonds right now—”
“Haha! Oh Sunset—”
“I'm scared they're going to slice one of our jugulars or something...”
“Believe me. They're... very distracting in this world. Although, quite frankly, I can't imagine them being on the other side. Must be awkward in public.”
“You just have to keep your tail lowered. That's all.”
“That simple, huh?”
“Unless you've got a short tailcut in winter time. Lemme tell you... the hussies I've seen trotting up and down Canterlot.”
“Heehee! I can't even imagine that!”
“Imagine what?”
“Pony sluts!”
“Twilight!”
“Haha! That's what you mean, right?”
“Yes, but I wasn't going to use that word!”
“Heeheehee!”
“And here I am trying to be all prim and proper around a demure little scholar like you!”
“Oh Sunset... don't you think we're past that too?”
“I-I'd say we're past a lot of things right now. Our diamond collection can prove it.”
“Oh goodness... haha...”
“Hmmmmmm...”
Sunset leans her head forward, reveling in the scent of the other lady with her.
Her every breath is full of Twilight's, and it summons a moment of mirthful silence—which is soon again broken.
“Do you think it's time, Sunset?”
“Hmmm?”
Sunset's heart freezes, as if the snow outside has wormed its way in to stab her in the back.
“Time for what?”
Twilight's voice is earnest, and yet melodic.
“Time to tell the other girls that we're dating?”
Sunset's heartbeat resumes, and it's a soft beat.
“I'm... pretty sure they know by now, babe.”
“You think so?”
“Mmmm... yeah.”
“You don't suppose we're... uhm... th-that obvious?”
“We've been sitting together at lunch every day for the past week.”
“So? It's not like that would give them reason to imagine we're snuggling it up every weekend—”
“And we're drinking from the same thermos.”
“Yeah. Okay. They got us there.”
“Hahaha—I'm fine with them knowing one way or another, Twilight. But if you wish to be formal about it and—like—corral them into the science lab one day and just tell them straight—”
“Uhm...”
“You... don't want to do it that way?”
“I mean... only if you wanted to. Which is why I asked—”
“Or did you ask because you don't want them to know yet?”
In the shadow of the thick covers, Sunset makes out Twilight gnawing on her bottom lip.
“Twilight...?”
“I... uh... I kinda like this...”
“Like what?”
“This...”
Twilight gives Sunset's shoulders a gentle squeeze with her fingers.
“...having you here... in secret like... like...”
A songful breath escapes Twilight's smiling lips.
“...like you're the only woman in the whole world... and you belong to me... and just me alone.”
Sunset smiles back... but soon sticks her tongue out into the body heat.
“Your horse lady you mean.”
“Oh hush.”
“Hahahaha...!”
Sunset rubs her cheek against Twilight's and murmurs.
“We can keep it a secret a little bit longer, Twilight, even if it turns out that it's not so big of a secret any longer.”
“So we can just... pretend it's a secret.”
“Yeah... just like we can pretend that we won't be uncomfortably sweating in the next few minutes.”
“You're right. It... is getting awfully warm now, isn't it?”
“We could... uhm... pull some of the blankets off?”
“Then how will we stay warm?”
“I'd say we play it by ear.”
“It'd be better if we had a system to keep the thermal levels between us regular.”
“It's not rocket science, Twilight.”
“Still—you ever cuddled to stay warm in Equestria?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhh... we have our methods.”
“Like how?”
“Well... I mean... our back ends are bigger than our front ends... soooooo—”
“Go on...”
“Siblings growing up learning... y'know... to cuddle each other in reverse during the winter.”
“In reverse?”
“Like... our fuzzy bodies form... form... what's that symbol for the 'Taoism' religion called again...?”
“Fuzzy pony yin yangs?”
“Yeah. That.”
“...you mean you and your brothers and sisters sixty-nine, Sunset?”
“What? Huh? No! Damn it, Twilight—”
“Heeheehee—because if you really wanna, I'm not sure now's the time—”
“No, I don't want my head wedged up against your butt right now!”
“Heehee...”
“Besides... I like your face waaaaaaaaay more than your butt. I'd rather be close to that than the other.”
“Awwwwwwww... that's sweet.”
“Pffft... if you say so.”
Lavender fingers reach forward, caressing.
“You're my sweet, thoughtful horse lady, Sunset.”
“... … ...you do know you're picking my nose right now?”
Twilight's finger retracts in a dark blur.
“Ack!”
“Heh... maybe you should crawl out and grab your glasses after all.”
“Not on your life! They'd just fog up!”
“Heheh... then how else will you see me?”
“I don't need to see you.”
Twilight hugs Sunset harder, resting her head against the other girl's.
“You mean everything to me, Sunset. You know that, right?”
Sunset gulps, her voice slightly shaky.
“It's... certainly occurred to me.”
Twilight rolls her legally blind eyes.
“Remind me to lend you one of my romantic books. I've got at least a hundred of them.”
“Knowing you, they're all written in binary.”
“Oh come onnnnnnn...”
“Heehee... I love you, Twilight.”
The river has been bridged, and someone sniffles.
“That's much m-more like it.”
Sunset smiles back at her.
She strokes Twilight's face, only to feel moisture.
“Starting to sweat?”
“Y-yeah... let's just say that.”
“I can live with it.”
“Same here.”
Sunset dries Twilight's cheek once more.
The two girls lean in, lips brushing briefly, warm and toasty and tender.
And then, for a long time, there is no movement.
Only smiles, breaths, and the hush of a snowy world outside.
