The groans and cheers echoed through Canterlot High School because it was report card day and currently all the students were having lunch and going over their grades.
“Delightful,” Rarity remarked, “I have achieved straight B’s!”
“Ah raised mah D in English to a C+, Granny’s gonna be happier than a bee in a flower field!” Applejack announced.
“I got the highest grades in the school!” Sunset Shimmer announced. “Well,” Sunset added with a grin, “second greatest, no hard feelings Twilight congratulations!”
“Thank you,” said Twilight Sparkle quietly.
“I got a B in P.E.,” Fluttershy announced her voice barely above a whisper. “Thanks for the help Rainbow Dash.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Rainbow Dash responded with a scowl while Pinkie Pie looked like she was going to cry.
“Oh, I’m sorry I’ll try for an A- next semester,” Fluttershy promised.
“Don’t mind them Fluttershy,” Sunset Shimmer remarked.
“Yeah, them’s dead girls walkin right there,” added Applejack.
“Oh man!” a voice cried from across the room at the Crusader table, “I’m gonna have to sleep in the yard after my parents see this!” Scootaloo told her friends as she looked over her grades.
Applebloom looked over Scootaloo’s shoulder, “Oh ouch, three D’s and a C-, that’s rough Scoot’s.”
“If it makes you feel any better I failed my cooking class,” Sweetie Belle told her orange friend.
“See!” Rainbow declared angrily, “they have bad grades, but they get to take them home while some back stabbing, low-life, jerk is hand delivering ours right to our parents!”
“Life can be so cruel!” Pinkie added.
“Well, maybe you would have your grades too if you hadn’t been forging your progress reports all semester,” Sunset lectured.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find improving your grades to be an excellent new challenge,” Twilight remarked not looking up from the table.
“Let’s see your grades Twilight,” said Rainbow with a daring look.
“Oh umm no, I, Ummm would like to discuss them with my parents before sharing them with my peers,” Twilight exclaimed nervously.
“I bet there here in your bag,” Pinkie said as she began digging through Twilight’s backpack.
“When did she?” Twilight questioned.
“You’ve got a lot to learn kid,” Sunset remarked.
“Found it!” Pinkie remarked handing the piece of paper to Rainbow before continuing her search.
“Yep, straight A+’s except for a B+ in P.E.,” Rainbow read, “don’t tell me you think your parents are gonna flip over that do ya?”
“Ummm no, but I need my bag back!” Twilight exclaimed nervously.
“Hey Twilight, you must be doing good, you got three report cards, but the other two have mine and Rainbow’s names on them!” Pinkie announced. All eyes were on Pinkie for a brief moment before they shifted to Twilight who seemed to shrink in her seat.
“Give me those!” Rainbow demanded, looking over the report cards before glaring at Twilight. “So you’re the backstabbing little…”
“Why, Ummm no,” Twilight remarked nervously, “but perhaps I should hang onto those for safe keeping.”
“Oh no, you don’t, traitor!” Rainbow exclaimed.
“May I?” Pinkie inquired, “I bet I’m doing really good! Oh, oh listen to this,” suddenly Pinkie was wearing a pair of glasses and had her hair in a bun, “Pinkie Pie struggles with her ability to concentrate for even the shortest period,” she quoted.
“The teachers got you pegged, Pinkie,” Rainbow announced with a chuckle.
“Deplorable grades do not a joke make Rainbow Dash,” Twilight responded.
“Who's got deplorable grades?” Rainbow countered grabbing Pinkie’s hand, “come on!”
Rainbow and Pinkie ran to Rainbow’s locker, “here we go” said Rainbow taking a cardboard box from the bottom, “the good old report card changing kit!” The package contained a large jar of white out, a book entitled “forging for Dummies,” a pen, and the stencils of A, B, C, +, – among other things. Rainbow chuckled as she handed the large jar of white out to Pinkie Pie, “get cracking!”
“On it,” Pinkie announced putting the white out on one of Rainbow’s grades.
“The usual A’s and B’s Pinkie, but throw in a C-, wouldn’t want my folks getting suspicious,” Rainbow instructed.
Pinkie began using the pen to mark the white out, “lookie, a C, I see!” she said cheerfully.
However, at that very moment, the shadow of Principal Celestia fell on both girls, “we’re busted Pinkie,” Rainbow whispered nervously.
“Not good, Rainbow.”
At that moment Twilight quietly crept between the two girls and picked up the report cards. “Ummm Principal Celestia, I hope your day is going well,” said Rainbow turning only to find herself facing a small cut out of Principal Celestia and a flashlight made to cast her shadow.
“I surrender!” Pinkie cried dropping to her knees.
Twilight quickly returned the report cards to her backpack before sprinting away but she was nowhere near as fast as Rainbow who was quickly in front of her, “and what are you doing?” Rainbow demanded.
Twilight cleared her throat, “I have been entrusted with a very important task Rainbow Dash, and neither sleet, nor snow, nor you, nor Pinkie shall deter me from my appointed rounds. I’m sure your parents will be very understanding and…”
“Maud’s going to send me to live with my Aunt; she has a mustache Twilight!” Pinkie shouted.
“Give me those report cards!” Rainbow demanded.
“Her cat makes me sneeze, and she never lets me have sugar!” Pinkie added.
“The cards now!” Rainbow continued.
“She smells like cabbage, and she makes me use toothpicks!” Pinkie shouted.
Twilight ran off before stopping when she heard a bell, “math class, yes sanctuary.”
“Math class, yes, we’ve got her!” Rainbow told Pinkie.
Twilight managed to slip into the classroom a split second before Rainbow and Pinkie narrowly sliding into safety. As the day continued Twilight made sure to stay very close to the teachers while Pinkie and Rainbow stayed close to her Rainbow with a devious grin and Pinkie resembling a begging puppy. The day rolled on, and soon enough the clock was only minutes away from dismissal time, and Rainbow and Pinkie were edging closer and closer to Twilight.
“Ummm… Pardon me, sir!” Twilight announced as the teacher known as Mr. Don looked up from the board. “May I be excused to the facilities?”
“Whatever,” Mr. Don responded.
“Thank you,” Twilight said as she ran out of the classroom.
“Suck up,” Rainbow whispered.
Twilight ran as fast as she could, “now all I need is to get outside before the final bell.”
*Brinnnnnng*
Students ran over Twilight to freedom. Twilight headed out as quietly as she could, looking behind her for her two friends.
Suddenly Twilight bumped into someone. “Where do you think you’re going?” demanded Rainbow Dash with Pinkie Pie right behind her.
At that moment, the sound of an engine revving filled the air, and Sunset Shimmer arrived on her motorcycle placing herself between Twilight and the other two. “She’s going to deliver those report cards! Hop on.” Sunset threw a spare helmet to Twilight. Twilight was apparently scared to death over her method of transportation, but she didn’t have any time to complain.
Twilight jumped on the back of the motorcycle. “Sunset, I never thought I’d say this but burn rubber!”
Sunset obliged, and the two took rocketing off before Rainbow and Pinkie could stop them. Rainbow Dash growled. “Come on Pinkie; we’ll use my bike to catch them!”
Twilight clutched her bag as tightly as she could as she looked back at the quickly shrinking Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie before breathing a sigh of relief. “Thanks for the rescue Sunset.”
“Happy to help you Twilight,” Sunset responded.
“So, do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
“Totally, don’t get me wrong Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are two of my best friends but you and I both know actions have consequences.”
“Sunset, look out!”
Sunset looked ahead and saw three familiar girls crossing the crosswalk they were currently rocketing too. Sunset slammed on the breaks as the three girls took defensive positions, luckily Sunset’s motorcycle stopped just in time. “Are you trying to kill us?” Adagio Dazzle demanded.
Meanwhile Rainbow and Pinkie Pie were speeding along on Rainbow’s motorcycle. “I don’t see them Dashie.”
“They’re right up ahead!”
Twilight looked back as the former sirens took off. “Get going Sunset!”
“Don’t have to tell me twice!”
The chase was on! The four speeding teens zoomed through town.
“Now Ms. Rarity I hope you’ve organized your schedule for making three different dresses over the weekend.”
“Of course, Mr. Toity.” Rarity assured her manager. “I can guarantee that I enter this assignment with the utmost seriousness.”
“Hi, Rarity!”
“Oh, hello Pinkie Pie!” Rarity responded as the two motorcycles sped past the store window. “Now as I was saying…” Rarity ran out watching four of her friends rushing away. Rarity raised a finger as though to speak, “I don’t want to know.”
“Oh yeah! Hello, students of CHS, report cards came out today, and if you’re here you’re ready to party!” Vinyl Scratch announced to a group of cheering students as she prepared her turntables. “Prepare to get wild!”
At that moment, the speeding group of friends circled the park once before returning to the road. “Whoa, that’s a little wilder than I had in mind.”
“It’s no use Pinkie; I can’t catch up to them!” Rainbow reported. “We’ve got to find a way to slow them down!”
Pinkie Pie reached in her bag. “Cupcake catastrophe!”
“They’re pelting us with baked goods!” Sunset told Twilight.
“We’ve got to shake them somehow but how can we stop them?” Twilight quickly responded.
Up ahead Sunset noticed an automatic car wash, “that’s it Twilight, we’ll stop!”
“What? No, I didn’t mean.”
“Sunset’s headed for the car wash Rainbow!”
“Even I’m not that crazy!”
Sunset sped closer and closer to the car wash. Rainbow Dash blasted the accelerator right behind her friends. As the four were but feet from the car wash entrance an employee signaled for them to stop before running for cover. The two vehicles were, but inches from each other and Pinkie Pie reached for Twilight’s bag. “Just like our report cards, you fail!” Rainbow blurted out.
Suddenly Sunset slammed on her breaks, and her bike stopped an inch before the car wash. Unfortunately, Rainbow wasn’t as quick, and she and Pinkie were sent through the establishment.
Sunset let out a breath of relief. “You okay Twilight?”
Twilight took several asthmatic breaths. “I don’t know, let’s wait a sec for my stomach to catch up, shall we?”
“Sorry about that.” Sunset apologized, “they should be in there for a few minutes, let’s go!”
“Slowly!” Twilight shouted.
Sunset sighed but obliged first throwing ten dollars to the employee. “keep the change.”
Minutes later Rainbow and Pinkie came out on Rainbow’s now sparkling motorcycle, their hair blown straight back by the car wash's blow-drying feature. “They’re too smart Dashie!” Pinkie announced fixing her hair. “We’ll never catch them!”
“Don’t count your chickens yet Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash assured her friend. “Those two might be smart, but they’re weak, and they’ll never deliver those report cards alive!” The two took off with Rainbow laughing like a maniac.
“That’s Rainbow’s house up ahead,” Sunset announced.
The motorcycle came to a stop, and Twilight eagerly jumped off. “Good try girls, but as always the sanctum of education champions the day!” Twilight went to knock on the door, but at that moment Rainbow Dash jumped from the other side of the door and tackled her as Pinkie restrained Sunset.
Rainbow Dash picked up Twilight’s bag and held it in victory.
“How’d you two get here before us?” Sunset demanded.
Rainbow opened her mouth to speak but paused. “You know that’s a good question, how did we do that Pinkie?”
“Well, ya got me.” Pinkie responded pulling out a map of the city that charted the chase, “I mean, by all accounts it makes no sense!”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “back to business.” Rainbow began digging in Twilight’s bag. Sunset and Twilight looked at each other worried for a moment before grinning. “What the hey? Where’d the report cards go?” Rainbow demanded.
“Hey!” A voice called.
The former Dazzling’s walked by as Sunset managed to free herself from Pinkie. “We delivered those report cards as you asked.” Adagio Dazzle reported.
Sunset nodded. “And Twilight and I will put in a good word for you with Principal Celestia and Vice-principal Luna.”
“Pleasure doing business with you,” Adagio said as she and Sunset shook hands.
“Our report cards?” Rainbow questioned.
“I am sorry about this,” Twilight responded as she picked up her things. “When Vice-principal Luna gave me the assignment I just couldn’t say no, I just hope you’ll realize we did this for your own good.”
Rainbow Dash approached Twilight angrily until a large dark blue hand grabbed her by the ear. “Ouch! Dad? Oh wait, the grades are in Greek this year. I did good, I swear!” Rainbow was dragged off by her angry father.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie” a monotone voice announced as Pinkie’s older sister came up to the young party planner. “We need to talk about these grades right now Pinkie,” Maud spoke in her monotone voice.
“What have you done?” Pinkie demanded. “I’ve never seen Maud so angry! Maud, no auntie for Pinkie, no auntie for Pinkie!”
“They’ll get over it,” Sunset assured her friend.
“I hope so,” Twilight responded returning her bag to its proper home.
“You want to catch a movie?” Sunset inquired.
“As long as there are no car chases.”
