A Zebrica for a Human

Chapters

Chapter 1: Need more then just Coffee
Chapter 2: City in the Sand
Chapter 4: Trials and Insane Logic
Chapter 5: Finders Keepers
Chapter 6: Making It Public...That I Lost My Sanity Years Ago
Chapter 7: Smaug The Dragon Ain't Got Shit On Me
Chapter 8: First Day on the Job and Already Chaos
Chapter 9: The Problem Has Horns and Dinky Little Tails?
Chapter 10: Already Have to play Chess for the Big Boys?
Chapter 11: Tactics and Logistics for Dummies
Chapter 12: Battle on the Big Bridge
Chapter 13: Victory in War Replaces the Internet
Chapter 15: Was für eine "Hornige" angelegenheit
Chapter 16: A "CHANGE" of Plans
Chapter 17: Where is my Bloody break when I need it?
Chapter 18: The Ling of Bureaucracy (slight re-edit)
Chapter 19: The Plot Thickens...You Perverts
Chapter 20: More Stuff without the King...WHERE IS THE KING?
Chapter 21: The MAD king and the Princess
Chapter 22: Too lazy for this shit
Chapter 24: More talking less action...which is good
Chapter 25: Arranging the pieces on the board, for dummies
Chapter 26: Time to bust out the raid for real
Chapter 27: Time for the Exterminator to knock on the door
Chapter 28: War for the underworld...sounds Metal
Chapter 29: Pointless filler Time :D
Chapter 30: A lone Doe in an underground world
Chapter 31: Path of the Idol
Chapter 32: Another problems solved, hurray for a new one
Chapter 33: Planning and Integration
Chapter 34: Home return and Kinder Surprise
Chapter 35: Look what the easter Bunny brought me
Chapter 36: A Silo of stress
Chapter 37: A trip south
Chapter 38: Its going to be the Trojan war all over again
Chapter 39: I wonder who Achilles will be
Chapter 40: Building up back home
Chapter 41: I may be part within this Trojan war after all
Chapter 42: Getting carted of to Helgen
Chapter 43: These Dungeons don’t even have Toilets
Chapter 44: A Locust Swarm saves the day
Chapter 45: Well welcome to the Family George
Chapter 3: Who are you calling a Monkey King
Chapter 14: I am the Human version of Cupid, only Bigger
Chapter 23: A Kingdom under a Kingdom...not confusing at all

Chapter 1: Need more then just Coffee

/Chapter 1: Need more than just Coffee/

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade

Proofread by: Sergeant Lufthfahrer, Darkwip

“No, no, no. This isn’t it either. 234 scrolls and none of them is the one we are looking for.” A Zebra High Priestess sighed as she discarded the useless scroll on a pile next to her, like all the others.

“Well, we still have around 103,000 scrolls to go through. I am sure one of them has to be the exact text that we are seeking. It shouldn’t take that long.” Another High Priestess commented to the rest of the group.

“You could have easily left that fact out, you know. You are not making this sound any easier.” Another butted in, -this one an old stallion and a High shaman- as he was busy scanning one shelf for anything that stood out. “You there. Servant. Go fetch some more scrolls from the vaults down below. Maybe the texts that we are looking for are locked down there.” He ordered to one of the Zebra servants standing by at the entrance.

“Yes, High Shaman.” The mare, obediently responded with a bow before quickly dashing off to do High Shaman’s Akunezzar’s bidding.

“Are you sure sending ONE servant down there would be enough? The sailed vaults store more ancient texts of our ancestors than the palace archives up here.” The first High Shaman questioned, her colorful robes and jewelry on her ears and neck swinging about as she turned herself around to look at her counterpart.

Akunezzar shook his head as he went back on searching the shelves. “No, no it doesn’t, High Priestess Karkusha, but it at least gives them something useful to do instead of just standing around here.” The old Zebra answered.

“Hey… I think I found something!” The much younger High Priestess shouted with glee.

“Susara, not so loud, show some restraint. You are a high priestess now, after all.” The older mare -known as Karkusha- chided, which made the much younger mare blush a bit from embarrassment after she shushed herself.

“Anyway, you said that you have found something, yes?” Akunezzar asked as he and Karkusha looked at the younger mare questionably.

The mare in question, simply nodded before making her way slowly over to them with an old dusty scroll in her mouth, her own traditional white robes and jewelry swinging about as she moved across the large room.

“The text we have been looking for is most likely this one. I haven’t read all of it yet because this scroll is quite long, but the first-view syllables are quite promising so far.” She explained, after placing the scroll onto her hoof and offering it to the two elders.

Akunezzar took it with his own hoof before trotting over to a nearby table and slowly unraveling the scroll before him. Both Karkusha and Susara quickly joined him as he began reading through the ancient text. Raising his eyebrow slowly as he went further and further down the scroll, before eventually going wide in full realization.

“Yes this is it, these are the ancient prophecies we have been searching for all this time.” Akunezzar commented out loud, completely forgetting modestly and etiquettes for a brief moment.

The high priestess, simply nodded as her own eyes were busy scanning through the ancient writing.

“These texts should hopefully prepare us for the ever closing days of this prophecy, the arrival of the so called Monkey King who will finally bring unity to our own kind and help us to achieve more than we believe we are capable of.” Karkusha commented as she finally reached the end of the scroll herself.

Akunezzar, again, simply nodded as he sealed up the scroll once more before facing her. “Indeed, we must make preparations, then, as the arrival of the Monkey King is coming closer with every passing minute. The time is soon, my dear Karkusha, the divide that has been forced onto our kind will soon have its end and we will soon reclaim our old glory from days long past, thanks to the wisdom of the ever closer, coming of the Monkey King.” The old stallion suggested, which was answered by a nod from both the mares in question.

“I shall discuss this with all the other High priests, then. We have to keep this information a secret from the populace though. we will inform them if the time is right.” Karkusha suggested.

The three quickly parted, leaving the archives behind to do what they needed to do for the coming of their new Emperor. An Emperor they hadn’t had for over 1000 years thanks to a divide their race suffered through, during that time.

………………………………………………………………………………………

*Beep beep beep beep*

“Wha? What… what is this? I don’t have an alarm clock.” I murmured as I slowly regained consciousness from the peaceful sleep I once had.

“Oh. No, wait… that’s the alarm clock of my neighbor next door. Holy shit that thing is ridiculously loud. That bastard even wakes me up with it. Brilliant, Just fucking brilliant.” I groaned as I tried to drown the accursed noise by burying my head into my pillow.

Or I would have, if it wasn’t for the bloody morning sun immediately shining directly onto my neck. Probably because of some stupid cloud continuing its journey above my window.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Fine, I’m up. I. Am. UP.” I groaned out before eventually forcing myself to get up.

I really don’t like mornings, especially when I remember having a pretty interesting dream before my own neighbor woke me up with his bomb siren.

“Well, another day, another nickel. That’s what I would say if I could actually get one. Why is Spongebob stuck in my mind all of a sudden?” I thought to myself as I sat up on the edge of my bed and scratched my back.

“Today is going to be another formulated and predictable day again. Just the way I like it, to be honest.”

With those thoughts out of my head, I began to make my way over to the bathroom to do what any other person does when just out of bed.

Getting off my pajama pants and putting on some more "proper" leg wear after my morning rituals were taken care of, I casually made my way out of the room and into the corridors to drag myself into the kitchen.

Having the house to yourself for once is actually quite refreshing, considering that I live with some of my cousins under the same roof. They are all off on a trip, a trip that didn’t interest me simply because it would involve sitting inside the car for hours and hours on end just to get there.

I have been to many trips like these before, but over time they just eventually became somewhat stale for me, mostly because of those long LONG drives that are usually associated with them. I just got fed up with the tedious driving hours, so this time I simply decided to stay here instead. To look after the house while they are gone. Well, that was what I told them.

Maybe I will join these family trips again when those planned expressways have finally been built and completed, going throughout home province, but until then I would rather prefer to just stay here instead of having my butt muscles die out.

Living in Southeast Asia does have its drawbacks, after all. Damn, who knew that someone could miss the well planned road and expressway systems back in Europe? Not only that, but if you don’t feel like driving you could just easily take the high speed trains if you want to.

“Ah, well. Living in the tropics is nice too.” I thought out loud, as I began to make myself some coffee.

“Shit… the hot water is out. Got to boil myself some more, then. God, I know that it’s nothing but it’s still annoying somehow.” I muttered.

Grabbing the kettle and filling it with water from the faucet and placing it on the stove before turning it on, I quickly went back to my room to go grab my phone and Tablet to check what is new in Internet Land while playing some tunes on my phone.

I went back into the kitchen with them and sat myself down at the dining table to wait for the water to boil. I basically did this almost every day. Wake up, make myself some coffee, check my emails and see if anything interesting is there to see on sites like YouTube and Deviantart on my tablet. I would usually use my laptop for those, but ever since it died permanently, I am forced to use my tablet until I can get enough cash to buy a new one.

I immediately remembered something while looking at the YouTube front page. “Oh yeah, I wanted to watch that documentary about the Achaemenid empire I stumbled upon yesterday night, but didn’t watch it because I was too tired to… and it was too long. Well I can definitely do so now, early in the morning. I got nothing better to do anyway.” I thought to myself as I began to type up the title on the search bar, but before I could properly click onto the video the kettle suddenly started to whistle.

Grumbling a bit to myself, I got back up from my seat and went back to the kitchen to turn the stove off and remove the kettle from it. I poured the heated water into my waiting mug before dumping the rest of it into the thermos flask for later use.

With my Coffee now done, I went back to the dining table with the mug in my grasp. I was about to sit back down when another thought suddenly hit me. Being the cat lover that I am I was wondering If all three of my cats were at the extended kitchen outside, like they usually are. Sometimes they were there and sometimes they were down below in the backyard doing... whatever. Cat things.

I just have this habit of always going to check every morning to see if they were still sleeping or generally chilling out in the back kitchen. With that desire in my head, I simply picked my phone up while making sure that the headphone cable wasn’t in the way of anything, grabbing my tablet in my free hand before making my way toward the back door.

Pressing the play bottom with my thumb to get the video started, I pushed open the door with my right arm to get myself outside and to the backyard of my home… or that is what I would have liked to do, if the sun outside didn’t suddenly get excruciatingly bright all of a sudden, turning everything around me into a blur and forcing me to close my eyes on instinct.

“What… the… fuck?” I muttered as the normally warm-feeling morning air suddenly turned even warmer -or, dare I say, hotter- in an instant the moment I stepped out of the back door.

I opened my eyes again after the bright glare quickly faded. What I saw around me left me totally speechless and beyond confused.

“Since when do we have a giant sandbox behind the house?” I asked out loud while my eyes started to dart from left to right in.

All I saw in front of me was a huge pile of sand. A pile of sand I could have sworn wasn’t there before. Sure the backyard of our home kind of sucked, but not as bad to warrant a huge pile of sand over it.

Also why would you wanne piled you shity backyard with sand anyway? Probably can't even make a proper sandcastle with the stuff I got here anyway.

Out of strange curiosity, I decided to turn myself around to see if anything else was completely out of place... only to find EVEN MORE sand behind me. In fact, I was surrounded by sand, sand, sand, and... even more sand! And some rocks, just to spice it up.

The house, the trees, and everything else I knew and pretty much see everyday whenever I bother myself to step out of my home in the first place, has now and totally be replace by the world's largest sandbox that i'll probably never use and never will mainly because society likes dictates that I am far too old to partake in such activities.

Screw you Society.

There was only one thought running through my mind as the sun was busy trying to burn a hole through my exposed neck.

“What the actual fuck?!”

Seriously, what the actually fuck, and If this whole sudden change of location wasn’t strange and fucked up enough, I started to hear moaning close by too. Like serious moaning, the type of moaning you would expect when someone is having a good time. That kind of moaning.

“What the fuck is this?” I asked out loud to no one in particular as I traced the source of the sounds to be somewhere behind that massive pile of sand that I was standing in front of.

My brows rising ever so slightly at it.

Momentarily forgetting about my confusing situation and finding myself strangely curious as to who and what was making these out of place noises, I began to slowly climb up the sandy hill with my mug and Tablet still firmly in my grasp.

And let me tell you, climbing this son of a hot sandy bitch with just Flip-Flops on is just as hard and unpleasant as you can likely imagine. Especially when the sand is as loose and floaty as it is now.

“What sane person would even expect to be climbing a sand dune the moment they stepped out into their own backyard while still being dressed for bed? Seriously.” I hissed as the hot sand slid onto and under my feet because of these damn Flip-Flops.

Giving myself a final push with my right leg I finally made it to the top of the dune and was greeted with the same sight as the one I saw before, more bloody sand to see for Miles or Kilometers, or whatever distance measurement I feel like using. But this time with the added bonus of seeing a small Oasis down below me, a few palm trees, ferns and…two lone Zebra fucking in a cowgirl position.

“…Was?” I did a double take.

Seriously, down below, on a flat rock, right next to the Oasis and RIGHT UNDER the shade of said Palm tree were two Zebra, doing it, in a cowgirl position, just like how two humans would do.

You just can’t make this shit up.

You would think that THIS ALONE would raise some serious mental questions about the concept of reality and the fabric of the universe as a whole, but that wasn’t the only strange thing about it. What was also strange was the way these two Zebra looked. They looked smaller than normal Zebra, had larger looking hooves and legs in comparison to their bodies, had freaking rings and other accessories on their ears, tail and mane, - and talking about manes, their heads were much more roundish in shape than they have all right to be, compared to normal Zebra I know of, with much smaller muzzles too. Almost human like in features, now that I think about it.

In fact… they did have human like features on them if their expressions and behaviors were any indications. Animals can NOT mimic an expressions of pure bliss, let alone moan and squirm while doing so. ALSO, animals don’t blush either. How does that even work with fur?

If I wasn’t already confused beyond healthy mental limits, then I definitely have crossed the “point of no return” by then. Wouldn’t be surprising if I would get a brain aneurysm at any moment, or AT THIS point. Probably wouldn’t be that bad of an alternative, to be honest.

The one on top, -most likely female if her moans were anything to go by- suddenly decided to open her green colored eyes at the worst moment possible and immediately spotted me, which in turn caused them to snap open faster than you could close them. Her blush instantly deepening, most likely from both shock and… embarrassment?

The other Zebra (most likely male) below her looked up at the other one in confusion if I had to guess before he turned his head backwards to look at whatever she was looking and immediately had the same reaction as her the moment he saw me.

I, on the other hand, just raised an eyebrow at this before I randomly remembered the coffee that I was still holding onto. Looking down at the mug with indifference, I decided to simply do the next best thing I know at the moment by raising the still steaming cup of Joe up to my lips and taking a long sip from it with wide eyes, the real scope of my situation finally hitting me like a speeding truck strapped to a rocket.

“Well shit. I am definitely going to need more than JUST coffee to get through THIS.”

Chapter 2: City in the Sand

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade

Proofread by: Warlite the Human guy

“Nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE!” I constantly repeated to myself as I made my hasty retreat away from the Oasis and down the dune.

This decision might have the serious potential to bite me in the ass sooner or later, considering that I was in the middle of a freaking desert, but as of then I couldn’t possibly care less as I just wanted to get a break from all of this nonsense and get my mind straight for just a second, here.

Ironic, I know. Usually I am all about nonsense, silliness and stupid shit, but now I am giving it the middle finger and turning the other way. At least give me the very simple task of finishing my -possibly last- cup of good Coffee while stuck here.

“Hey… WAIT!” I heard the zebra girl suddenly called from behind as I continued my speed walk down the surprisingly steep dune, occasionally sipping on my coffee while doing so.

“Damn this coffee is slowly and surely hitting the spot right now.”

The power of good Caffeine in bullshit situations, Kids. Just stay away from alcohol and drugs and you should all be fine.

“Hey… WAIT up! PLEASE!” I heard her say again as I finally reached the bottom of the dune. (I.E. back where i started.)

I grumbled, looking around myself to hopefully find some kind of magical exit door that could, perhaps, warp me home, or at the very least send me to the lands of OZ if possible. Heck even Wonderland currently sounds better. At least I KNOW what to expect THERE, unlike here where I was being chased by a horny talking miniature Zebra in the middle of a bloody desert while wearing Flip Flops.

“If I ever find out whose fault all of this is in the first place, I am going to find them, drag all the way out here and force feed them sand until it leaks out from their bloody butt holes.” I thought to myself angrily as I could hear the sounds of shifting sand behind me get louder and louder.

I groaned. “Might as well play along, to see where this leads me to eventually. Not that I really have much of a choice anyway, to be honest. And who knows? Maybe these talking zebras have some more Coffee, wherever they are from. This cup really isn’t going to last me forever, sadly. Especially not in a DESERT.” I thought to myself, as I turned myself around to receive whatever was coming to me.

The Zebra mare stopped right in front of me, trying to catch her breath as her hooves dug into the sand for stability.

“Of course she’s out of breath. Just a moment ago she was busy grinding on that dick like a horny French maid on a summer day. Actually, do they speak French here as well? They seem to be speaking English perfectly, for some reason. So why not French too? Let’s go hear some French now, I am not putting it past the realms of possibilities at this point. If I can get warped to a magical sandy world filled with horny talking magical Zebras from my backyard door, then I am sure I can get some French speaking ponies, horses, zebras or whatever else here as well. Bring it on. Universe! Give me your best shot.” I mentally ranted as the mare slowly regained her breath before looking up at me with those emerald green eyes of hers.

Those comically large emerald eyes.

“I… I just wanted to…” She tried to say, but her boyfriend seemed to have other ideas entirely, as his black and white form appeared on top of the dune behind her.

“What the hay are you doing there, Nami? Get away from that THING! Who knows what it is and what that thing is capable of.” The stud on top shouted, which in turn made me even more irritated than I already was by being referred to as a ‘thing’.

I have am allowed some level of pride too, you know.

“You’re just pissed because I accidentally happened to interrupted your little “in out, in out” secession before you could finish.” I retorted back which had the desired effect of hitting a nerve in this little horsey’s mind.

“What we were doing is none of your bucking business, you hairless monkey.” Black and white shouted back with a glare.

I just furrowed my brows when he said bucking instead of fucking, finding it both corny and ironic given the fact that I am talking to TWO talking equines. “Actually, now that I think about it, what are ZEBRAS doing in the middle of a desert anyway? Shouldn’t I be talking cartoon Camels instead of Zebras? Furthermore, why am I so chill about this situation anyway? Stepping from my pretty normal and dull home out into a desert populated with talking miniature cartoon zebras who are too stingy to rent themselves a room for their love making should have easily been a one-way train ticket to lazy town.

Most people I know would be flipping their shits right about now, but not me. Why? I blame my love of watching so many cartoons, I guess. Even more so -and especially- in my young adult years. Ever since I was a kid I always had these dreams and fantasies about moments such as this one, finding myself inside a cartoon world and exploring such wacky and colorful places with my own two eyes… only, much more PG friendly, of course.”

I sipped my last drops of morning brew from my mug, savoring the taste as I was unsure how long it would be before I will ever got a good cappuccino again, now that I wasn’t on Earth any more. I know so because Earth doesn’t host any magical talking cartoon Zebras.

“I should know. I checked. Also, female zebra is still looking at me with curiosity. Almost forget her.”

“Nami, I said get away from that thing.” And almost forgot him as well. His was shouting was slowly getting on my nerves by this point.

“Would you bloody shut up, you damn talking horse and let her be, all I can hear is your damn shouting through my own thoughts. Which I don't like.” I retorted back with a heavy frown, which only caused his glare to intensify.

“What did you call me?” He shouted back in an obviously pissed off tone.

I simply felt indifferent about his attempt at looking and sounding all scary and dangerous, and whatnot. I am sure that something as small and adorable looking as these two couldn’t possibly be a threat to me, especially knowing that there was no horn, antlers, sharp teeth or any other natural cheat codes in play.

Zebras are just simple herbivores, the last time I checked.

“A Horse, that’s what a Zebra basically is, a Black and white striped horse while not being as physically powerful as one.” I casually explained to him on autopilot which had the predicted effects that I had predicted.

I must have hit some real sensitive nerve inside his little black and white Mohawk-head, as the guy out of nowhere gave off a primal -but ultimately failed- roar of anger before rapidly charging down the dune. Fast, but also somewhat clumsy.

The mare named Nami, on the other hand seemed to be momentarily unclear on what to do, as her counterpart in gender was charging down the dunes directly toward me.

I was seriously considering the idea of just throwing my now-empty mug at him before I realized that I was practically surrounded by sand, which gave me a different idea instead. The idea of just kicking sand up into his face when he was almost on top of me, watching him cry out in pain and stumble on his own legs as I casually stepped out of the way while he rolled the rest of the way down the dune and past me before comically slamming his head into a small pile of desert sand and burying it underneath it.

I smiled for the first time since waking up this morning as the mare beside me quickly snapped back to reality before galloping past my prone form and making a beeline directly to her beaten, humiliated and dazed boyfriend.

“Big brother, are you ok? Please tell me you’re ok.” The mare pleaded in concern, which had the immediate effect of dropping my smile instantly as I could have sworn that I heard someone drop and shattered a glass bottle somewhere.

Everything around me suddenly stopped as her words slowly but surely registered in my caffeine induced head. “Did she just say big brother?” I mentally asked myself over and over again.

I was stock still. From the outside I would most likely look very stoic with wide eyes, but on the inside I was actually flipping out.

“The FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! DID SHE… DID SHE SERIOUSLY JUST CALL HIM BIG BROTHER? DID I JUST LEARN THAT THESE TWO ARE ACTUALLY SIBLINGS, AND THAT I HAVE JUST WITNESSED UNCENSORED, UNADULTERATED, HARDCORE INCEST JUST A FEW MOMENTS AGO? WHAT THE FUCK!! NO, NO, NONONONONONONO. THIS IS TOO MUCH, NOW. THIS IS ALREADY FUCKING TOO MUCH AND ALREADY CROSSING THE FUCKING BOUNDARY OF BULLSHIT LEVELS. WHAT KIND OF A NIGHTMARISH HENTAI BULLSHIT WORLD DID I WARP INTO? NO…NONONONONONONONONO. SCREW THIS! ALICE!! ALICE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND YOUR STUPID WHITE RABBIT GUY? I WANNA GO TO WONDERLAND. TAKE ME AWAY. RATHER THAT DRUG INDUCED PLACE THAN THIS JAPANESE HENTAI FANFICTION SHIT.” I ranted in my head, not paying or even responding to the outside world at the moment.

Seriously, what the fuck did I get myself into? Why couldn’t the backyard door have warped me into the Star Wars universe instead? Sure, it’s dark and dangerous sometimes, but at least it’s fucking awesome. I could be stealing a Jawa Sandcrawler about now, if I got there.

My train of self-ranting was sadly forced to a halt when I felt something or rather someone tap me on my right leg. I broke my stoic gaze to look down and immediately began to get the horrible case of the twitchy eye when I found it was none other than Nami… the little sister of mister hard-head over there who has already proven himself to be a TERRIBLE candidate to participate in any cavalry charge.

“Stop with the horse jokes. This isn’t the time...yet”

“Could you maybe help me, please? For some reason I just can’t pull him out and he is slowly starting to panic from air loss, and so am I.” She pleaded in quick panic which made me raise an eyebrow at her.

Looking over at where her other half has spectacularly ended up to I was quick and also somewhat surprised to learn that he seemed to be indeed, mightily stuck in the sand for some reason, and in the verge of going into complete panic mode too if his thrashing and muffled screaming was anything to go by.

I mentally sighed. “Fine, fine. Let’s go get your BROTHER out of this mess.” I said with another twitch in my eye at the mention of “Brother”.

I wasted no time in placing my mug onto the sand below me and moving my tablet under my right armpit. Grabbing both of his hind legs I gave them a quick test pull only to find out to my slight surprise that the little guy was indeed pretty well stuck somehow.

This is sand here right? So how does THIS happen, then? Unless he managed to jam his head into more than just sand, in which case, well bad luck for him to be landing on that one and only spot, then.

“I could pull this guy out myself, but then again, I don’t want to hurt him. Not now, at least.” I thought to myself as my gaze went down to Nami who obviously followed me.

“You take his right leg, I take his left, and then we pull together. Understand?” I asked her, to which she rapidly nodded.

She did as I told her by grabbing his right hind legs with both of her forehooves, and on the count of 3, the two of us started to pull hard, which eventually resulted in him getting pulled out in an INSTANT, flying over our heads and us tumbling backwards onto the hot sand below us. Dropping my tablet onto the sand, as well.

“Fuck, I can even feel the heat of the sand through both my jogging pants and underwear.” I mentally cursed as I immediately jumped back up before grabbing my Tab and checking if that thing was still functional after that fall. Thankfully it was. That would have been a disaster. I paid good money just so I can create some digital art with it.

But then again, how useful can this thing be in a place like this? I had a distinct feeling that electricity wasn’t a thing here.

I dusted myself off afterwards as I watched Nami help her big brother back to all fours while he was busy rubbing his head and taking in some well needed air.

“You’re alright there, Najero?” Nami asked as he was busy panting.

“Najero? So that’s his name, then.”

The newly dubbed Najero nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. “Yeah. Thanks for pulling outta there, sis, I have to say, you are getting quite strong with each new day.” He praised her with a smile.

Nami quickly shook her head, which seemed to confuse him for a moment. “It wasn’t just me.” She announced before looking over and pointing a hoof at me. “He helped. I was actually having troubles pulling you out myself, so I quickly asked him if he was willing to help you. See? I told you that he isn’t as bad as you might have thought.” She explained happily, which made me roll my eyes.

“Very typical Big bro little sis cliché. Little sister is all nice and sweet while her big brother is somewhat of a hothead and not the ripest fruit on the tree. Quite literally a hothead, considering what I accidentally stumbled into earlier.” I thought to myself with another eye twitch.

“Note to self: Stop making dick jokes as well. There shall be more time for it on another day. If I survive that long, that is. Still being in the middle of a Desert and what not”

“Hey… uh… I guess I both owe you and thanks AND an apology for what I did and said earlier.” I heard someone say, which immediately broke my train of thought and brought me back to reality.

“Can I even call this reality? I might be still sleeping or somehow drugged beyond belief as far as I know. Actually… nope, nope. This is real. If I can feel the burning sensation of sand on both my unprotected feet and clothed bum then I guess this must be real. Just accepting it might save whatever sanity I still have left in my head. Not that I had a lot of it to begin with, but hey, I am not ready to go completely nuts just yet. Let’s save that part up for another time as I am sure a lot of crazy shit is going to be on its way regardless, I just know it.” i thought to myself.

“Uh… it's fine. You were just looking out for your younger sibling just like how any good brother should.” I responded with a wave of my hand.

“Yeah, but still. I have the tendency to sometimes open my mouth first before thinking.” He reply sheepishly, which I simply accepted as what it was.

“Najero.”

“… What?” I asked at this out of the blue introduction.

“Najero is my name, by the way. But am I sure that you already know that, since my sister has already called me by it. Same with hers, as her name is Nami.” He introduced himself and his sister to me which in turn made me raise my brows at them.

“Perceptive. Might have to withdraw that ripest fruit bit.” i thought.

“Well, ok.” I casually replied with a shrug. “I guess I can tell you two that my name is Alexander Becker, or just Alex for short, in case my name is a bit of a mouthful for the two of you.” I introduced myself in return which made the little sister smile up at me. That smile would most likely drop at the next question I wanted to make 100% clear.

“So …is it true, then, that the two of you are siblings?” I casually asked out of the blue, which in turn made their smiles disappear as predicted.

They both began to look off the side -one looking a bit awkward and annoyed, the other just straight up embarrassed- with a blush on both of them.

“Yes… yes, we are.” Najero replied with a heavy sigh which made my eye twitch even worse.

He was about to say more to the matter when I quickly silenced him by raising my hand and trying to get my left eye back in control.

“Don’t want to know, don’t care at the moment. What you two do in your spare time is your business and not mine. In fact…” I explained before shielding myself from the sun with my Tablet. ”I am currently more concerned with getting out of the sun’s rays and hopefully finding some Civilization. I know for a fact that at night places like this can get really, REALLY cold when the sun decides to turn off.” I suggested to them.

Nami quickly perked up ar this as she stepped up. “Actually, Achaemidas is just a couple of dunes away from where we are, just overpast the small Oasis.” She explained.

“Acheawhat?” I responded as the mentioned name was itching something inside my chaotic head.

“Achaemidas, that’s the name of the largest and only city in all of Zebrica, and also the home and location of the largest and most powerful Zebra tribe in the entire continent.” Najero filled in for his sister, which made me frown at some certain similarities here.

“Achaemidas, Zebrica? More like renamed version of Achaemenid and Africa, the first one just adding ‘as’ and removing the ‘en’ to make it different. What kind of an alternate reality did I find my way into?” I thought to myself as my expression morphed into the one you get when you see or hear something that sounded both (A) like bullshit and (B) somewhat annoying.

“Uh… hello? Equus to Alexander? You said you wanted out of the Desert, right? We can lead you to the city, if you want.” Najero tapped me on my leg, which roused me out of my thoughts.

“Yes can I help you?” I casually answered.

The stud in question frowned at my strange reply before quickly repeating himself.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s just go get out the sun before I die from a heat stroke.” I replied.

Najero nodded before turning on his hooves and climbing his way back up the dune with Nami hot on his tail before signaling for me to follow along.

I did, until I realized that my Mug was missing from my current inventory. “Oh crap. Almost forgot my trusty coffee mug, there.” I muttered, before I quickly turned myself back around to grab it where I left it.

“Can’t have Coffee without my trusty blue mug, can I?” I thought as I held it with the same arm where my Tablet was currently wedged as well. That done, I followed these two back over the dune and down to the Oasis.

This mug and including my Tab and my simple phone are the only personal things I had on me from my own world, minus the very clothes on my back, clothes that consist of Flip-Flops, a set of black jogging pants and a basic red shirt with the easy, but true words of ”Procrastinating like a BOSS” written on it. Oh, and I was wearing a set of underwear underneath my pants too. God knows what could have happened if I didn’t come here with at least a set of underwear on me. That would have been a disaster.

You know what they all say: “underwear a day keeps unsuspected unpleasantries away”. Or maybe it’s just me? Who knows? I do have the tendency to make shit up sometimes. But the point is, the idea of ever leaving my home without some underwear is a big fucking no-no, for me. Case closed.

We eventually passed by the Oasis in complete and utter silence. My left eye once again twitched as memories of what had transpired here earlier re-flooded my brain, which also prompted me to stay the hell AHEAD of the mare known as ‘Nami’ as her very, VERY short tail was doing a horrendous job in keeping her equine bits hidden from plain view. Which also made me believe that flashing your genitalia must be a pretty A-OK thing in this horsy society, if a certain fashion trend allows for tails to be nothing more than short-cut hairy stubs.

And that is not even taking nudity into consideration. This is going to be weird I just know it.

“At least now I can “somewhat” understand why this bastard over here is fucking his own little sister in the first place if all he sees 24/7 are her two glory holes flashing in front of his face… or maybe he just has a massive fetish. Who knows?“

“But then again, Najero over here does have a pretty normal looking lengthy tail that actually does its natural job that it’s supposed to do. Maybe it’s just something that females do here, or it really could just be Nami, who knows ‘again’ we just have to wait and see I guess?” I thought.

“Furthermore, what the hell am I doing contemplating about their behinds and fashion trends in the first place? Did all of this shit get into my head already?

Damn. I need another Coffee. These are going to be some really stressful first few days, I am sure. And I am ALLERGIC to stress. Actually scratch that, I need Alcohol right about this point. Too bad I left my last bottle of wine back at home. I could really use some alcohol inside my system right about now.

Screw my previous message about alcohol.”

“Hey, uh… Alexander?” I heard Nami’s voice suddenly come up, which once again had the side effect of getting me back to ‘REALITY’.

REALITY can be so jarring sometimes.

I groaned silently to myself before turning my head to the side to look down at her.

“Shoot.” I replied.

She looked up at me curiously as we continued our trek. “What were you doing out here in the Desert, anyway? Don’t take this the wrong way, but… you don’t look like the type of creature that could survive out here. For very long, anyway.” She questioned as we eventually began climbing up yet another dune on the opposite side of the water hole we just passed by.

“Oh, you know, just sightseeing and enjoying the natural beauty of the landscape and all.” I innocently answered while waving my free hand around.

She obviously wasn’t convinced by my poorly veiled lie, but somehow came to the conclusion to just take it for what it was and leave it at that. Which was good, because I seriously had no other explanations or excuses at my disposal anyway.

Typically, my brain is still somewhat asleep just after waking up, and usually stays like this for around 1 or 2 hours, max.

“That actually reminds me. Did I even turn off the stove before getting here?”

“Alright, here we are. I told you that it was just close by.” Najero announced from atop the dune, while the other two of us were still dragging our way to the top.

“This stupid sand crawling better be worth the view. These Flip Flops are horrible for this.” I growled as I pushed myself up the rather steep last few meters before eventually reaching the top.

What I saw caused me to blink a couple of times.

“Here it is, Achaemidas, home of the largest Zebra tribe in all of Zebrica.” Najero announced with a gestured hoof pointing at the distant city in front of us.

“Huh… it looks exactly like I imagined it would.” I thought to myself as I gave the sight in front of me a more detailed look.

A large green Oasis in the middle of a sea of sand was presented before me, with two very large rivers flowing through - that in no doubt are the main reason why the lands around it looked so green and fertile to begin with. In between these two rivers was the city itself, its style, architecture and overall feel reminding me a lot of ancient Mesopotamian culture, If that tall Ziggurat structure on the west side of the city was anything to judge by. Which was kind of fitting and strangely ironic, thanks to the two Rivers bordering the City’s northern and southern points.

These two Rivers reminded me of both the Tigris and the Euphrates River from my world.

See, being a heavy history buff does has Its uses after all, and some people even think that history itself is boring. Well I showed them now… I think.

Also, how do you know where east, west, north and south are? Position of the sun. The sun always rises in the east and goes ‘auf wiedersehen’ to the west, and right now it seems to be still before noon.

I mean, how could it not be? I was forced to wake up at around 7:30 am thanks to my ass-hat neighbor and his bloody bomb siren of an alarm clock next door. I guess the only good thing about my sudden change of location was that I never had to hear that dreadful beeping sound ever again. Finally I can sleep in, just like the lazy, good-for-nothing sloth I am. But only until breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast. “Let’s go down there and snag ourselves some Dates, or whatever it is that you guy are using those fertile river shores for. Coffee can only do so much before I eventually need something solid and chewable.” I announced with surprising glee as I simply began to march my way down the dune once more and towards the city.

Both N&N where not too far to follow, with Nami being the first to match my marching steps.” Wait… you drink COFFEE?” Nami asked in disbelief as if it were some kind of rarity or something.

I looked down at her with a smile. “Yes I do, every morning in fact. What did you think was I sipping from my mug when we first met?” I replied casually while showing her the now empty mug.

She just continued to look up at me in shock as we quickly reached the sandy bottom. “But… But Coffee is a luxury good here. Only the wealthy can ever hope of getting there hooves on such expensive items.” Nami quickly explained which in turn made me smile even wider.

“Huh, I never knew I was rich. I usually thought that I was just slightly above middle class or something.” I commented as the dunes slowly gave way to gravel and more solid ground.

“From where did you come, anyway?” Najero eventually asked as he flanked me from the right.

“From Deutschland. But at some point I moved to the Philippines, so I guess I am from there instead.” I casually replied, which gained me two sets of confused stares.

“Never even heard of these places.” Nami commented, which I simply ignored as the three of us were moving closer to what I would guess was a main road leading to the city itself.

“Good. I can finally leave all this loose and hot shit behind for something that my Flip Flops can actually manage.” I thought to myself as we finally reached the road.

It was then when I saw even more Zebras besides these two. “Oh, cool, they do seem to be wearing more than their birthday suits here.”

True to that, most Zebras I watched pass by us did wear something. Sure, it was mostly nothing more than simple cloaks with a hood or Bedouin headdress combo. But again, it's better than nothing. And it even makes sense as well, as I am sure that even fur can’t really protect you from the harshness that is the Desert sun.

Besides Zebras I even managed to spot a few horses here and there. Granted, they were still somewhat small compared to horses I know, but still a bit larger than the average Zebra as far as I’ve seen so far. At first I thought that these were actually more like horses back home until I noticed the cloaks and bling-bling that they were wearing and the fact that I heard them talking as well when I passed by them. Though their language was nothing but gibberish for me.

“Ok, NOW THIS is much better. Makes me feel as if I am on a vacation to a faraway land. This is it what it’s all about. Natives that can badmouth without you knowing it. Brilliant.” I thought to myself with an almost insane grin as we passed by a pair of Zebras pulling a large cart full of whatever out of the city like normal horses.

Actually, now that I think about it, do they even uses any form of work animals here, or do they really do everything by themselves, including the pulling of carts? Furthermore, why hasn’t anyone here gave me this curious or wondering look yet? One would think that a tall hairless thing that walks on two legs would be the world's biggest eye catcher, but apparently it seems that this world -or at least these Zebras- must be pretty used to seeing weird and foreign shit, otherwise they wouldn’t be as chill about it as they are now.

Or maybe they are just too busy to bother. I would certainly be too busy to bother, too busy thinking like I am doing now.

“Oh look, I see a Gazelle as well. Or are they Antelopes? Not important.”

The dull yellow and orange colors of the desert were soon replaced by the ever welcoming greens of the fertile and cultivated lands surrounding the city and river shores. With more Zebras tending them from what I could see.

A few boats were visible sailing up or down the river as we reached a large stone bridge that spanned across it. The architecture of the city now firmly mimicking the building style of both Babylonian -and Assyrian, if the walls were any indication- culture, with its side beautifully decorated with depictions of past histories and events carved into them. One image right next to the city gate even depicted something that looked like a battle.

Makes you wonder just how many ways these Zebras seem to mimic the ancient cultures of my world. Or more precise, THIS entire world as a whole.

My inner history buff was jumping for joy at this point.

“I might be enjoying my stay here, after all.” I thought to myself as we were following a caravan directly to the city gate.

By the way, did I even mention that the city gate itself was flanked by two very accurately depicted lion statues? Yes, this feels very much Mesopotamian indeed.

“Halt.” A guard suddenly stopped us from following the Caravan into the city.

I raised a curious eyebrow at the little fellow and both his weapon and armor design. Also reminded me a lot of the ancient middle east. I think ancient Persian is what the style of the armor is mimicking, with the whole scaled and mailed armor design and whatnot. The helmet too screamed a lot of Ancient Persia as well, with its shape and decorative lines carved into the metal. His face was completely covered by a large piece of mail as well, with only the eyes being visible. In fact, there was hardly a single exposed area on this little equine’s body. what was not covered in scale or mail armor was draped over by colorful fabric and a large cloak on the back.

Overall, he looked ready for a fight. Even more so with his long bronze spear beside him.

“Note to self, do not get into fight with the local military. I might be bigger than them but I got basically nothing on me rather my mug and two electronics.” I thought to myself as his gaze was surprisingly fixed on the two stunned Zebra behind me instead of ahead of me.

Actually, wait. Why are do they look so stunned in the first place?

“I know you two. I and my fellow guards have seen you steal of food from the market, including fabrics. You two may be street rats, but stealing is still a crime and will be punished as such.” The guard declared in a deep tone.

“Huh… Incest lovers and thieves as well. what a unique first encounter for a fantasy adventure in a fantasy world. Couldn’t possibly have asked for an even better start. No, seriously. This is unique.” I thought to myself with interest on what else could reveal itself out of the blue. Though I will personally admit that I was both surprised to learn that these two were poor and homeless as well.

Even the true, harsh side of civilization is present in this world as well. Poverty.

I was roused out of my thoughts when the guard suddenly began to move past me and directly towards my two companions. Nami looked ready to run while Najero looked more ready for a fight. A fight that would most likely not go to well, given who his opponent was.

“Hey, mate.” I called out to get the guard’s attention, which thankfully worked, as he stopped and turned himself around to look at me, or to be more precise, my midsection.

“Can’t you give these two a break or something? Thievery is bad, sure, but can you really blame them for the position that these two are in? Desperate times require desperate actions, after all.” I explained while leaning myself against the base of the lion statue next to me.

The guard eventually looked up to me, at first he looked both surprised and shocked, just as I predicted but soon to my own confusion his expression changed to that of realization. Even more prominent when the guy slowly removed his helmet and face mail to reveal his true form.
A typical Zebra with red -and dark red- striped mane.

“Wait, you... you look like… you look like the description and depiction of the next Monkey King that was prophesied.” The Zebra guard exclaimed which in turn made me raise my brows at him.

“The what now?” I asked naturally, only becoming even more confused when the stallion in front of me bowed down while dropping both his helmet and spear.

“Your highness, both the High Priests and Shamans have awaited the arrival of your kind for so long. Quick, I can lead you to them at the high council. From there they will judge if you are worthy of taking the long empty throne for yourself.” The guard respectfully explain before slowly raising up again.

He was quick in retrieving both his helmet and spear, placing the helmet back where it belonged before moving past me and gesturing to follow him with his hoof.

“Please, follow me. I can escort you to the high council.” He gestured.

I was, again, completely surprised and confused at this new and out of nowhere development. Same with my two companions, who were both looking at me in stunned silence.

I shook my head, mentally and physically shrugging at this new situation as I did what was asked of me. Following the Zebra guard past the gate and into the city proper with a grin on my face.

“Yup… definitely going to enjoy my stay here.” I thought.

Author's Note

Concept art of both Nami and Najero.

I also have a NSFW pic of what these two were doing in the fist chapter.
I can create a blog with a link to the pic if some of you are curious.

Also sorry for those who might not tolerate this concept of siblings...doing that, I too am against it in real life. I can fix it if its too much of a problem.

Chapter 4: Trials and Insane Logic

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade

“I meant to do that. It was all part of my master plan of mastery.” I announced openly, or I would have if I wasn’t still floored face down.

I could hear a lot of clip-clopping all around me, a clear indication that some of these fancy looking road crossings were curiously gathering around me. That idea was quickly proven when I made the effort to at least lay myself upright and was greeted with a lot of curious looking Zebra Faces.

“Wahr schon ne weile her wo ich zuletzt beim Kölner Zoo wahr.” I thought to myself as my eyes darted from one Zebra to the next.

I just ignored their curious stares as I sat myself upright causing some of them to back off again as I began to take a closer look around the place. The entire room had the same architectural nick-knacks as the rest of the Palace. The only difference is that this “council chamber” was circular with a dome shaped roof on top as well, just to finish up this whole ‘round look’ this place had.

“In fact, did Persia even have the knowledge on how to build domed roofs? Ah, who cares. What knowledge these Zebras have -or don’t- is somewhat irrelevant.”

With that thought out of the way I began to slowly get myself back up. Easier said than done with a floor that seems to be covered in jerking lotion.

No I learned that from one of my cousins. I do not use that stuff, I swear.

“Do you need some assistance?” a heavily tattooed Zebra asked beside me. A High Shaman, if his appearance was any indication.

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just that these flip-flops were made for the beach, not lose desert sand or over-waxed marble floors.” I denied before eventually getting back up and literally towering over these Zebras

“So this is how basketball players feel.”

The head honcho of this group (Just a guess, because he was standing in the center of the massive circle) eventually cleared his throat after my “ascension” to get everybody’s attention within the council room.

“Well then, as everybody mostly likely already know. This right here is….” He started but I cut him off as a thought suddenly crossed me.

“WAIT…Bakuss still has my stuff.” I casually announced before looking at the still open portal.

The stallion in question immediately showed himself at the mouth of the entrance after my call, with my junk still very much balanced on his armored and cloaked back. A sight that immediately raised an eyebrow. on my part.

“Hope the guy is good with his balance, otherwise I am going to throw him off of the cliff this Palace is built on if my Tab and mug fall off his back and break.” I thought to myself as the guard simply pointed at himself confused.

I nod before making my way back to the entrance to collect my loot from him. With my items back with their rightful owner, I made my way back to the collection of higher-ups to listen to what they all want from me. Or don’t want from me, as the case may be.

Mister Mojo immediately started once more, once my presence was regained.

“High Shamans, High Priests of our pantheon, representatives of every Zebra tribe in all of Zebrica.” He started in a surprisingly booming voice, which I didn’t imagine possible in equines that small. “Today, is a great day. For a new beginning, a new age. The prophecies of our ancestors have been proven true, the same ancestors who once served the last Monkey king in days long past. Since the fall and forced separation of our nation and race, our ancestors have prophesied with the aid of the cosmos and our gods that in 1000 years, on the day where the planets discovered by or long-passed forefathers were going to align for the first time in a great while. A great magical rift would be summoned from the cosmos above and momentarily link our world with the lands of giants for just a brief time. Just enough time for a being from those lands to be summoned to ours to lead us once more just like how so many before him have done so in the past. To once again reunite our race and lead us back to glory!” He continued, his tone and voice surprisingly mesmerizing to his Zebra fellows. Even surprising to me in just how much power his tone seemed to carry.

That’s when it hit me. “Wait… I am not the first -or possibly not the only- human in this magical land of talking animals?” I mentally questioned while at the same time Mister Big Shot here continued.

“And here it is, arrived just today. Possibly the new Monkey King of all of Zebrica. Who is going to re-unite our fellow Zebras and once again help us rebuild what has been lost to us in the past. A new age is upon us, my fellow Zebras!” He continued to boom out, even gesturing a hoof towards me from his raised platform in the center of the huge room.

All eyes was immediately fixed on me, every Zebra, large and small, old and... older, male and female, bling or... even more bling was looking at me. Anticipating my input and reaction to this with bated breath.

I looked around the delegates of this assembly, looking at each and every one of them present with in perhaps the most decisive and important gathering of black and white of their generation. Watching them all as they waited, only one thought going through my mind of how to greet the very Zebras who basically hold my fate in their very, VERY dirty (or at least sandy) hooves because they use them to walk around EVERYWHERE.

I smiled while keeping my stuff close and my stance relaxed. “Jo, wassup? I come from the land of the lederhosen.” I casually replied which caused some of them to gasp.

“THE NEW MONKEY KING HAS… wait… what’s a lederhosen?” One tried to be enthusiastic but failed in the end.

“Are these Zebras always so enthusiastic? Because if they are then things might go far south really quickly when I don’t appeal to whatever expectations they have of me. Like being extremely enthusiastic about throwing me back out into the sea of sand or worse.” I thought to myself, when I suddenly noticed Bakuss literally just standing at arm’s length behind me.

Good, I am going to need a good meat shield when things start getting TOO enthusiastic for my taste. These are the only clothes I have at the moment and I don’t want them to get ruined by dirty hooves, especially my shirt.

There was another wave of awkward silence within their ranks after the first guy’s outburst. That silence was broken when some of them started to murmur with one another, even mister big shot at the center was talking to some next to him who looked like the youngest of this gathering. Another Shaman, if of lower rank, judging by the gold rings and tattoos .

The talking stopped when the one leading the group raised a hoof to slush them before turning his attention back at me. “May we acquire your name first, if it is no problem, sire?” He suddenly asked, which took me a bit by surprise, as opposed to anything else that happened so far. The thing that surprised me was the asking of my name.

Yeah.

“Well, my name is Alexander. Alexander Becker, for the entry version. But Alexander or just Alex is fine. Far less of a mouthful for some individuals.” I answered, no jokes or quotes attached to it.

I know, right? Either it meant that I was no longer bored, or I was super bored right then.

The head guy smiled for the first time since I saw him before gesturing to himself. “Well, I am High Shaman Akunezzar, overseer of Achaemidas.“ He introduced himself before gesturing his hoof to the right. “And this here is High Shaman Gilganash of the Sand Hunter tribe. And the same Zebra who is going to evaluate if you truly come from the land of the Giants just like your distant predecessors long before you. He may be young, but he has proven greatly capable for his years and gifted in the old ways.” He explained which caused the one in question to nod.

I was getting a bit skeptical at this point, but kept quiet as the one known as Gilganash made his way over to me. He began to inspect me, circling me like a shark in water. At some point, for some reason, the alarm on my phone suddenly went off causing everyone within the room to perk up and with Gilganash to jump back in fright.

“What the? What in the god's name is THAT sound?” Someone asked as everyone within the council was now fully looking at me.

“Shit. Didn’t think that the alarm on my phone would actually activate for any reason.” I muttered as I pulled out my phone from my left pocket.

Every single Zebra within the room was immediately focused on my phone when I pulled it out to halt the alarm on it.

“What wondrous artifact is that? Is it also the same one that somehow created that strange sounding music earlier?” Another one asked which was quickly followed by agreeing murmurs and whispers with one another, the priestesses looking particularly intrigued.

I simply smiled. An idea quickly forming within the mental disaster that is my own conscious mind at how to accelerate this meeting somewhat. Mostly because I needed to go... somewhere, thanks to the coffee.

“Indeed. Behold! I have brought wondrous artifacts and devices from my homeland. Check this out.” I announced out fully while holding my cellphone out to them. The screen immediately lighting up with one tap of my thumb causing every Zebra looking at it to widen their eyes in wonder, even though it was just the password screen for my phone.

“What a strange device. Can it really play complex music without the need of a band or group of musicians?” A mare in snowy white robes asked, most likely a High Priestess, thanks to the similar attire she wore was to Susara’s.

I simply answered by flipping my phone back to face me before typing in the password to unlock it. Flipping through my songs list quickly, I eventually found something I was sure would probably sound the same as -or at least similar to- the music they have here.

Or at least so I hoped, thanks to the title of the song. I began to play Biana Ban- Spirit of Africa to them. Where I got that I don’t really remember, but at least it did the trick of doing what it is supposed to be doing by giving them all shit to the brain syndrome.

That is what I call their wide-open-mouth-and-eyes-with-straightened-ears expression.

The song wasn’t particularly long, thankfully, which meant I didn’t have to hold out my phone to them for too long.

There was nothing but shocked silence dominating this massive hall as the song finally ended. I smiled as I simply enjoyed my handiwork.

Akunezzar was the first to recover after he shook his head. “How can such a small and flat device play and perform a traditional song from our peoples which normally requires a whole group of them to do?” he wondingly asked.

But before I could even answer, another one of these high ranking Zebra types suddenly stood up from the crowd. “This is the proof. Ge IS and MUST be the new Monkey King if he possesses such wondrous feats of magic.” The guy shouted, but before I again could say or even disprove his claim, the entire room suddenly erupted into cheers of approval.

I just shrugged before pocketing my phone as they continued saying things like ‘praise to the gods’, ‘the dawn of a new age’, and -my favorite- ‘all hail the Monkey King.

Who knew winning over an entire nation and convincing them to crown you king was as easy as simply whipping out your phone.

“Alexander, you done it again. Mind fuckery vom feinsten.”

The feeling of self-pride didn’t last long, though, when the one in charge suddenly lifted his hoof to silence everyone.

I just frowned. This just meant taking a leak had to wait for a couple of minutes more than necessary. I should have gone earlier, but my excuse for this is that I was too distracted with EVERYTHING around here, and because of stupid Bakuss and his whiny ass as well.

Akunezzar continued when everything was silent. “Not so fast, everyone, although his feats of wondrous magic are quite special and entertaining, we are still missing one thing before he can be truly crowned as the new Monkey King of Zebrica.” He explained while panning his head, glancing at everyone present within the room, including Gil who was still somewhat standing right next to me. Most likely sizing me up or whatever.

Aku continued. “Have you all forgotten the one crucial artifact that is necessary for such title to even be held?” He asked out to everyone with an ‘are you kidding me?’ expression.

One of them quickly perked up at that as he stood up. “The Phoenix Crown, the symbol of power and traditional artifact of our ancestors that dates all the way back to the time when our ancestors were nothing but nomads roaming the steppes and deserts.” He called out which was met with a nod by Aku.

Another suddenly stood up. “But hasn’t the Phoenix Crown been lost since the last Monkey King 1000 years ago? How can we ever have another ruler without the one symbol that solidifies it?” He queried, which again caused a chorus of murmurs to erupt from everybody.

“Seriously, all I have been hearing since coming here are murmurs, and the worst part is that it’s quickly becoming ‘past lunch’ while I am still occupied here. I can already feel myself getting hungry by just looking at the timer on my Tab. Need to find a place to get -or even steal- food if necessary. AFTER I relieving myself behind one of those columns outside.

Stupid coffee somehow skipped through my kidneys and went straight to my bladder. Why does it have to do that NOW, when I’m not home?
Note to self: no more Coffee when leaving for another world.”

The murmurs eventually stopped, when Aku once again took it upon himself to silence the masses by literally being silent himself.

“Yes, yes I know, my kindred, that the location of the Phoenix Crown has sadly been lost over the centuries. Which is why it would make for a perfect trial for our new Monkey King to go retrieve it to truly prove his right in becoming the new ruler over all of Zebrica after one thousand years.” Aku suggested which in turned forced me to finally pay attention fully for the first time since arriving here.

“Hold on a second.” I began.” You are basically going to send me off to a fetch quest out into the desert trying to find something that has been lost for a thousand years?” I questioned just to make sure I heard him right. The idea of going out into the desert again, possibly alone… it was too insane, even for me.

Aku simply nodded. “Basically yes. Though in one stroke of good fortune we managed to acquire the vague whereabouts of the Phoenix Crown just a decade earlier, though never had the chance to retrieve it ourselves, since it’s located deep within Gazelle territory, which we have been in…. poor standing with for the last 500 years.” Aku explained. Which in turn made me scratch my head and make a mental note to learn as much of this land’s history as i could later on.

“If I can, that is.”

It was also then when something finally clicked inside of me regarding this ‘fetch quest’

“You know what?” I began, making sure that all of these wannabe wise guys were looking at me. “What’s the point?” I called out, which in turn made all of them look confused. Expect for Gil for some reason.

“What do you mean?” Aku asked.

“Simple.” I began. “Action speaks louder than words, does it not? What again was the situation of your broken up nation? Isn’t every single shaman from every tribe present here?” I asked rapid-fire to them.

Here, once again, shines my more sane and logical side. I might have the tendency to look and behave like an idiot with my random antics, immature thinking, and pinch of craziness here and there. But I am far from being an idiot. Just lazy and irresponsible at times for the sake of laying back to enjoy the more interesting aspects of life.

“Why am I telling this to myself, by the way? Am I going insane? Again?”

Aku rubbed his chin with a hoof as he answered. “Well, yes. For starters the many different Zebra tribes have been divided since the last Monkey King of this continent was present, mostly thanks to the loss of the Phoenix Crown and a power struggle at the time.” He explained to me vaguely. Again, needing to remember to stick my dick into some history books in order to keep up to date with whatever these Zebras have fucked up in the past.

He continued. “And for your second question, yes. Yes every representative of every single Zebra tribe in all of Zebrica is here and present. Though I am not sure why this currently matters?” Aku answered which me cross my arms while minding both my mug and Tab.

“It matters because… can’t you all just make amends with each other now that you are all present in one big, over-spaced room that probably no one needed? Isn’t the goal of all of this to reunite once more and re-establish the kingdom of old?” I questioned further.

But instead of Aku answering that question like how I expected he would it was rather Gil next to me to took up the honor of finally saying something besides checking out my awesome six packs that actually don’t exist but I wish they did.

As I said, I am somewhat lazy in nature.

“Nay. We may be High Shamans of old, but true control over our peoples we do not hold. It is the chieftains of every tribe and plight that decide what happens, day and night.” He answered to me in some sort of sage poetry, which I immediately started to like.

Besides history, I also LOVE some good rhymes and poetry as well. Yeah shocking on how such an individual like me holds such a great interest for things that are usually reserved to only the smart and the gifted… and the normal.

In other words, like Gil over here already. I could listen to his rhymes all day while enjoying a nice cup of morning Joe, evening and afternoon.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Aku the NON rhymer took over… “Boooo!”

“As precisely as High Shaman Gilganash next to you has dictated. We are mere representatives of our tribes in these meetings. Advisors, alchemists and links to our ancestors back our tribes. The true power and last word goes to the different chieftains and their kin that reign over these tribes, not us.” Aku explained, which made me think.

“Ahh, so it’s one of THOSE hierarchies, then.”

But that is not important. The point I was trying to aim for is mostly because I really wasn’t in the mood to go on an epic fetch quest which would most likely would get me killed before I could even find that damn trinket of a headdress.

“Still, would it not be vastly more resourceful AND also a much better testament to my fitness to rule these… lands if I -or more like WE- focus our efforts to reunite all of the tribes first and rebuild what has been lost since the last 1000 years then go on an epic hunt for a crown that is, according to you, most likely in enemy territory? I am all for traditions and whatnot, but I think we should focus ourselves on more immediate things, especially when we are considering possibly going to war, if -again- your sources on the crowns location are true and who knows, maybe they aren’t and we might find the missing piece to the puzzle during our journey in rebuilding the old kingdom. Would certainly be a much more productive and easier path to follow.” I fully explained to each and everything.

Another round of discussion quickly arose from my sense of logic, some of them agreeing to it and others not, saying that they should stick to tradition first. The discussion was halted by none other than by the good old middle player named Akunezzar who, again, seemed to be the “obermacker” of these voodoo heads.

The High Priests among them had been seeming rather quiet for the most part, though. I wondered if they were just there to observe or if there was something else going in their high minds. Maybe already planning a massive orgy in honor of their gods when I am eventually accepted to be their new Monkey D. Luffy, just like how some ancient cultures did back in my world.

“Too bad I won’t be present for that. Not interested into going local anytime soon. That would be a genetic disaster.”

“Quiet down, quiet down everyone. It seems that the votes on this matter are equally divided between us. Traditions are important indeed, but it is also true that time is of the essence as well, especially in times of great uncertainty and tension between ourselves and our closest neighbors.” Aku explained before his gaze eventually went to Gil.

“High Shaman Gilganash, your own surprising wisdom and natural skills have been able to be a great guide to all of us, these past few years. What say you? What would be the best course of action in this matter?” He question which in turn caused everybody’s attention to be focused on the youngest of their ranks, standing next to me.

He looked thoughtful at first, giving me some sideways glances as he contemplated. I, on the other hand, was just getting tired of having to stand still for so long, and I was contemplating just outright asking for a chair or just stealing a seat of one of the Zebras closest to me.

I hate having to stand still for this long. I either prefer to just move or sit down somewhere. Which again reminds me, I still have to go “party” as well.

“I must stand to the wisdom of our one to rule, as his way does seem to be much more true in this cue. There is always time to retrieve what has been lost after all, but right now it seems much better to follow his call.” He eventually announced.

His agreement on my behalf was met with relatively positive results after some of them had the time to think about this logic themselves.

The last one to eventually voice his agreement was none other than Aku as he stood back up from his podium to address me. “Gifted with wondrous artifacts and able to think and plan ahead. I would say that THIS should be enough proof that Sir Alexander Becker is truly the one of our ancient prophecy to finally reunite the Zebra nation once again under one banner and restore our past glory.” He finally announced which was immediately met with shouts of praise and rejoicing.

“Hoera! All hail to the new monkey king of Zebrica.” They all shouted, including the priests themselves.

“Well that was easy. Who know getting appointed king of a nation could be so freaking easy? Well, king of a nation full of sapient miniature Zebras, that is. But still, far better than any job I could have gotten back in my world. Best. Vacation. EVER.” I thought to myself proudly as they continued to glorify the future of their race.

“Eating right out of my hand, and all I needed to do was be a lazy pussy while adding a little bit of logic into the mix. Absolutely brilliant.”

A tap to my right thigh brought me out of it. It was none other than Gil the rhyming sage who doesn’t look as ancient as some of these others do. “Follow me, your highness, I can lead you towards the throne, which, of course, you now own.” Gil offered kindly, a gesture which I happily accepted just so I could get away from all the noise these Zebras were making.

Bakuss was surprisingly still with us as we made our way out of the council and back outside to the devastating heat under that which is the freaking desert sun.

“Fuck you too, sun. It was all nice and cool until you came along. That also reminds me. I got to go and take a leak first somewhere.”

With that idea back on track I immediately spotted to my right a nice, big, fat column relatively far away from ANY prying eyes and made my way to it.

“Sire… where… where are you go-” Bakuss tried to say before I cut him off with a wave of a mug-holding hand.

“Got to take a piss NOW. Just give me a minute.” I called out.

“But the royal bathrooms are just… oh.” Gil started to say, -or more precisely rhyme- before his speech got cut off by the sound of running water hitting a marble surface. AKA my piss glorifying its stainless features.

“Ahhh… yes, that meeting took WAY longer then I felt comfortable with. Bastards didn’t even have a chair for me to sit on.” I muttered as I was quickly feeling lighter and better in my neither regions.

“Well at least now the bloody floor has some color.” I thought to myself as I put my hose back into its holster before picking up both my mug and Tab from the floor.

I immediately made my way back to the two awkward-looking Zebras in front of the council entrance with a noticeable sense of comfort on my features. Gil was about to say something before I cut him off once more as another thought suddenly struck me.

“Man, I am REALLY forgetful today, aren’t I? Wonder if it has something to do with the sun. Maybe I have suffered some sort of weak heatstroke while getting here.”

“Hey, Gil? Do you perhaps know any good places where a guy like me can get some nutrition in his trunk? It’s already past noon, judging from the position of the sun.” I asked.

“Well, yes. If it is food you seek, then its location would be the…” Gil tried to rhyme before I once AGAIN stopped him by just being myself, and by sealing his lips with a finger.

“The market, OF COURSE! Let’s go to the market then. Actually, where is the closest market? No, wait, don’t tell me. I like to guess and find out for myself. To ADVENTURE, then.” I announced madly by channeling my inner Sheogorath and simply marching off and guessing the direction in which Bakuss here has lead me on earlier.

Damm, I am really going to miss playing another Elder Scrolls game ever again, or videogames in general, or the internet, or convenient plumbing and air-conditioning. The last one really rings true in this oven like heat-hole of a desert.

“Uh… sire? if you wish to go to the closest market, then going through the council building, existing on the other end and following the long vines and steps down the cliffside would be MUCH faster than taking the same long route we took before.” Bakuss suggested, which caused me to halt in my advance and look back at him.

“…Brilliant suggestion, there, Baki old boy. With that suggestion alone you have just fully redeemed yourself from earlier for being a no-fun-and-always-on-schedule tourist guide. And possibly earned a raise. Though this time, please let me take some photos of the locals. Even if it somehow induces panic attacks or unconsciousness.” I announced, -mostly only thinking the last bit- with a grin, before fully spinning myself a full 180* dime and trotting myself back in the direction he had suggested.

“Uh… ok?” the poor stud simply replied before he and Gil started to follow me.

Gil especially looked quite confused at my antics. Probably having never expected a possible king to act like a cartoon character, which is odd because this world does look like a cartoon anyway with its vibrant colors.

“Yup, I definitely feel right at home already. A home… with possibly no return… shit.”

"I shouldn't have paid the electricity bill last week if I knew I was going to be wisp away to another world."

Author's Note

Sorry if this chapter seems boring with it just taking in one location. The next one will be more diverse, I can tell.

Chapter 5: Finders Keepers

Author's Note

BTW. I have a Patreon open if any of you wish to support me. I will also be open for commission as well in the future.

Link to my Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/Navanastra

Chapter 5: Finders Keepers

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade

Proofread by: Warlite the Human guy, and dash446

“You two are going to sit here for a while until your charges have been cleared. Theft is theft. It doesn’t matter if you are poor or not.” The
guardstallion explained as he left the cell that held both Nami and Najero.

Without much fuss, the two were promptly placed into the custody of the Palace Guard moments after the captain heard of their alleged thievery. “Crime is crime. And, as such, punishment will be meted out without impunity ” Were his words before the siblings were herded off into a cell under the Palace Guard barracks.

The Zebra law system was very strict and does not take crime lightly, even if it’s something petty like basic thievery.

Najero simply glared at the retreating guards as he and his sister were momentarily busy rubbing their sore backs and behinds after having been literally thrown into the cell.

His scowl quickly switched into a smirk as he turned his gaze over to his sister who was still busy tending to her bruised butt.

“Pssst… hey, sis? Did you manage to grab the guard's keys while they were busy dragging us here?” He quietly whispered to her.

She eventually stopped her rubbing as she looked up at their brother with a pleased smile on her face. That smile momentarily changed into a blush and a bit lip as she pulled something out from behind her crotch with both of her hooves, pulling out a somewhat dampened set of keys and presenting it to him.

Najero made a bit of a face as he eyed the keys for a while before switching back to his sister. “Did you… really have to put them in THERE?” He asked, which turn caused her to give him a more than slightly deadpan look.

“Well, duh. It’s not like i have any pockets on me or anything. Plus that spot IS the safest and only place for me to perfectly hide them… unless they are one of THOSE guards which are thankfully rare in these parts.” She responded.

“Well, it really is better than nothing, I guess.” he simply responded as he somewhat hesitantly grabbed the keys with his hoof.

Nami simply rolled her eyes and giggled at her brother’s reaction which in turn caused him to just shake his head before making his way up to the cell door.

Nami wanted to say something snarky about it , but at the last second she decided against it, replaced by more chuckling at her big brother’s expense.

“Nami, you are NOT making this any easier, ok? We have to be quiet about this, so please stop your giggling.” Najero whispered harshly as he started making sure that they were truly alone for a moment before beginning to fumble his hooves around the bars.

Nami simply did as requested and kept her muzzle shut while her brother was momentarily struggling to get the key into the keyhole on the other side.

Nami just shook her head before slowly making her way to him and sitting down next to him. “Bro, just… just let me handle this. I managed to steal and slip the keys from the guard and into my nethers fluidly without getting noticed, which obviously means that I am vastly more nimble with my hooves then you.” She suggested, which in turn caused her brother to finally give up his struggle with a sigh, his ears reflexively folding for a second.

“It’s not that my hooves are clumsy, it’s mostly because these keys have your… you know what? Fine. Just hurry up, ok? I am not sure when one of those guards will suddenly decide to make his rounds in front of the prison cells. If one catches us, we are going to be sitting in here for much longer than expected.” He whispered as he hoofed her the keys before stepping back to give her more work room.

“Don’t worry, this will be easy and fast.” She assured him as she wasted no time moving her hooves around the bars with the keys.

With a silent click and a quick twist the lock was loosened, causing the cell door to slightly push open. Nami turned towards her older half with a knowing smirk, which in turn caused him to just roll his eyes before smiling.

“Well, you really did always have the more nimble hooves of us two. And the slimmer legs, naturally. But let’s just hurry before the bucketheads can notice what’s up.” He offered.

He carefully pushed the door open before slowly poking his head past its gap to check if the coast was really clear. After finding out that the halls where clear, he slowly pushed the door open even further before quietly stepping out first. He gestured to his sister with the universal “follow me” gesture, which she did without any question as the two quickly found themselves silently sneaking away along the same route they were first dragged to just moments ago.

A good thing that the palace’s prisons were mostly vacant, otherwise the presence of other prisoners nearby would have made the escape just a little bit more difficult, mostly dealing with the issue of either having to bail them out as well or risk them alerting the guards, which meant a swift, undisputed ticket back into the cell with a much longer sentence or worse.

Specifically for Nami. A mare like her would get more than just a longer prison sentence if the guards were in the mood. Najero well knew.

Shaking these distracted thoughts out of his skull, Najero forced himself to focus on the task at hoof as he led himself and her back to safety. Sounds of chatter quickly filled his equine ears when he and his sibling quietly made their way up the stairs that lead out of the prison, no doubt some guards talking just above them behind an iron door leading to the surface.

“I told you, the rumors are true. A new monkey king has arrived from the mythical lands of the giants, just as the ancient shamans predicted in the past. I saw the guy with my own eyes, terrorizing the citizens with that strange magical tablet of his.” One of the guards above explained, which in turn caused Najero’s ears to perk up.

His thoughts immediately went to that hairless ape-like giant they found in the desert that morning… or more precisely, him finding them.

That memory made him frown a bit.

“Well that’s all well and good, but unless I see this new… Monkey King myself or hear a direct public announcement from either the High Priests or Shamans of its existence I am still more convinced of you having spent too much time in the tavern in the town’s east wing last night. That stuff they serve there can even get me a bit tipsy after just a few sips. That gryphon ale is quite the kicker.” The other answered.

Najero was brought out of his concentration when his sister tapped him on the shoulder. “Do you really think going up this way is a good idea? There are guards literally everywhere above us.” Nami asked with concern.

Najero just sighed before looking over his shoulder. “Well this IS the only way out of here, as far as I can tell. It’s either this way or no way. Maybe with a bit of luck we can manage to slip by unnoticed and get away before anyone notices.” He explained.

“Besides, we have done this before, haven’t we?” He quickly added before turning his attention back to the iron door above them which, for some strange reason was not locked at all judging by the wide open gap that was visible from his point of view.

He simply gestured his sister to follow him to the top, which they reached with relative ease as they soon stood right in front of the last door that would lead them to freedom. The chatter from the guards indicates that they were probably just around the corner. A quick peek in between the crevice of the unlocked door thankfully confirmed it, as it seemed to be visually unguarded from the other side.

He quickly turned back to the still waiting mare behind him with a silent hoof gesture, to tell her that the coast was most likely clear. Gently pushing the heavy iron door open -and praying to the gods that the thing wouldn’t squeak, which it thankfully did not- Najero dared to poke out his head out of the half open door to make absolutely sure that there was nothing watching it or him at the moment.

Once again, there was not, which Najero couldn’t believe.

“What the? Seriously? By the Gods, this has to be the greatest luck either I or my sister have ever had. I mean, this is not a proper prison, but you would think that these prison entrances inside the barracks would be guarded. Or, at least, that is what some more seasoned thieves and criminals talked about deep down in the catacombs.” Najero thought to himself.

Even more so when he noticed the tail of one of the two guards just barely sticking out from the corner to his left, which proved his previous belief that voices must be coming from right around the corner.

He looked back at Nami again with a huge grin. “I think we are home free, Nami. Just have to make sure these two bucket-heads around the corner don’t notice us and we’re out.” He whispered to her.

Nami just looked dumbfounded for a moment. “Seriously? The main door to the prison isn’t just unlocked, but also unguarded?” She queries, sounding somewhat skeptical about this, which Najero could understand.

“Yeah, I know, right? Come on, before one of them decides to actually guard the exit like they most likely should.” He whispered back before turning his attention back to the exit and daring a first step out of it.

Once again, the coast seemed to be clear when he first stepped out. He quickly -and again, silently- gestured for his sister to follow him, which she did without much hassle. Najero kept both his eyes and ears ready for anything around them as they sneaked out, especially the two still oblivious guards just behind them around the corner.

“It is overall a very good and fortunate thing that the entrance to the prison cell is actually NOT location within the barracks itself and actually more off to the side facing the outside. Otherwise this escape would have allot more difficult than it is now - or even downright impossible.” Najero thought.

“Hey, uh… shouldn’t we be guarding the door leading into the prison cells below us?” Najero could hear one of the guards suddenly say as he and Nami were keeping themselves close to the wall.

“Nah, they’re not going to get out. Especially not with the door locked.” The other answered, something which caused Najero to pause for second.

“The… the door?” The other asked with a nervous tone.

“Yes, the door. You... DID lock it, right?” The other asked with a clearly suspicious sounding tone.

“Um… well I…” The other tried to explain before he was cut off by an annoyed sigh escaping the other.

“You idiot. Were you the last one exiting the prison cells? It was already discussed many times that the LAST one existing the prisons down below should always lock them. By the gods you are going to get the two of us into some serious trouble when the captain -or any other higher than us- suddenly notices that the door is actually unlocked when they pass by. Just go lock it while the two of us go back to our post guarding it like we should.”

The other one scolded, which caused Najero to slowly feel worried as they were only on the halfway point to being perfectly home free, unnoticed. Something both he and Nami would like to keep, because them getting spotted while running out of the barracks would obviously be a disaster. They would be forced to leave the city for a long while and out into the harsh desert surrounding it just to keep away from the collection of guards looking for them afterwards.

Not a pleasant scenario at all. They might then be forced to steal from the already struggling farmers that live along the river banks outside the city, something Najero would have to admit did not sit well to him at all. The ones he and his sister mostly targeted were the wealthy merchants dominating the markets. Individuals who obviously weren’t going to lose much if some dates or bananas suddenly went missing.

“Crap… one of them is going to go check the door and we are still in the open. Quick, find a place to hide find a place to hide… wait… HA! That old sandstone well against the wall. We might get wet climbing in, but that might not be so bad given today’s hot weather.” Najero thought to himself with haste before grabbing his sister with a hoof and quickly dashing himself and her towards the little safe spot around the well.

The idea was jumping in, but having spotted a nice tight space just behind it made them figure that that was a good spot too. Especially since being wet could form a water trail behind them that could be easily noticed if someone just looked hard enough.

“Just a week in the job and you are already breaking one of the more serious protocols. If anyone else noticed this they would have you kicked out faster than you can realize.” The irritated one of the two retorted as audible metallic hoof steps could be heard getting closer.

“You mean us? We did get the left outpost just to get away from the sun. Plus, you are just a few weeks further into this job than me.” The other argued back, a piece of knowledge which made Najero smirk a bit.

“Well at least that then explains where our luck is coming from, I guess.”

The other guy scoffed. “That doesn’t matter. Let’s just drop the subject and get back to our posts before anyone notices that we left it in the first place.” The other one argued back before the sound of a metal hoof hitting sandstone suddenly stopped.

“Uh… why is the door so far open?” The annoyed one asked, which in turn caused both siblings to seize up and hold their breaths.

“Could have been the wind, maybe?” The newer wondered, which in turn caused the slightly less new one to groan.

“A big heavy metal door? Really?” He answered before sighing. “Let’s just go down there and make sure that everything is in order, especially those two prisoners we hauled in just earlier. The last thing I need would be two escaped thieves on my report.” He quickly added as the hoof clopping began to lower in volume. Mostly likely the two were moving down into the prison cells.

“This is our chance.” Najero thought as both he and his sister took this opportunity to bail out.

“Hey… where… where did my door and cell keys go?” Was the last thing that Najero could make out before he and his sister made it around the corner and away from the guard barracks.

A happy grin dominated both of the siblings faces as they galloped their way down a path leading off from the cliff and back down into the city itself.

………………………………………………………………………………………

“Sire… please wait up.” Bakuss shouted somewhere behind the sea of striped equines as I casually continued my stroll through the city market.

During our time of “getting ready” to finally depart off to the local market Bakuss somehow managed to gather a few more guards with him along the way, saying that it was for “my security”. Seriously, though. How threatening can fuzzy miniature Zebras that only reach half my height really be? I am sure that I might actually underestimate them in this, which ‘in the future’ would mostly likely bite me in the ass at some point. But until that day happened, let me enjoy my feeling of physical superiority, damn it.

Back in my world my physique is actually quite underwhelming, giving my couch potato status.

I think “future couch potato” was even mentioned in my birth certificate, but I was too young and to dumb to read it… mostly because I couldn’t even read yet as I was just 5 at the time.

Anyway, strolling through this quiet little Mesopotamian style city was quite the historical adventure, especially without Bakuss herding me around like earlier.

The market was, as expected, quite the bustle. Really acting as the social center of the city where Zebras -and other hoofed quadrupeds- of all colors and sizes -and stripes, don’t forget- came together to commute, buy and sell, and also generally be dicks to one another just because the prices seemed to be too off the scale for the other.

It really feels just like home. Well, my European home. - that, and I am also referring to the dick part of it. Those Dutch market guys can really shout their wares off into the air to try and entice idiots like myself to buy something from them for basically double the price the item is actually worth.

The only thing this place was missing was a vendor who sold some good fish and chips, then the stage will be set. What kind of stage that is, I have no idea, but it’s a stage nonetheless. Even better if they have currywurst here too.

“Your highness… please, wait for us.” Bakuss called out again. He and the other 5 guards who followed him were struggling to move past the large crowd of Zebras dominating the market.

I on the other hand don’t really have such problems, mostly because of my height and the fact that almost everyone who saw me gave me a wide berth, either because of my height, my reputation of shoving my tablet in everyone’s faces, or the fact that the guards called me sire or highness all the time, I don’t know, and honestly don’t care because hey, less traffic is always better. Especially in rush hour.

Though, on the other end, Gil over here didn’t seem to have much difficulty keeping up. I would guess that it is the guards’ heavy equipment and armor somewhat slowing them down and making it difficult to dodge incoming citizens. That could easily be the possibility here.

“But whatever. We are already at the market, so I guess I can be nice and simply wait for the iron guard to finally catch up.”

“I am still don’t understand the reasoning of travelling down to the local shops when the palace kitchens have just as many crops.” Gil rhymed his question as we eventually stopped.

“Easy.” I began while continuing to observe my surroundings. ”It’s to get myself a much better picture of the lifestyle of these citizens, the local economy structure and the overall day to day happenings if I am going to be their new king. It certainly helps to know your people personally before indoctrinating any changes to their livelihood. Wouldn’t you say?” I explained to him while once again observing a group of little foals just carelessly causing mischief in between the stalls of the vendors.

“I am not sure what it is but these foals really speak to me somehow, maybe it’s there cartoonishly adorable little frames with their big heads and huge eyes that just seems to draw me in. Who knows?”

Gil simply nods. “A very direct but effective idea indeed. Something of which more leaders need.” He casually replied as the metal band finally managed to snake their way to us.

“I know that… you are eager to interact and see more of your new citizens sire, but please give us the chance to keep up, it would be an absolute disaster if something happened to you before your highness could even ascend to the throne in a proper ceremony.” Bakuss pleaded as he and his gangbang of buckets took position behind me.

The key word here is “position” because really all they did was line up in the most non-line-up way possible. Basically not at all.

“Might also have to do something about the military then.”

I just scoffed while holding my nose up in the most dramatic way possible for extra effect. “Nonsense there, Bakuss, I am very well capable of keeping an eye on myself. It’s like… double the vision, like 4K or something.” I answered while parting my hands in front of me slowly to add even more drama to my response.

The guards -and Gil as well- we're obviously very confused at ending statement. A bit less for Bakuss, as he was surprisingly starting to get used to my randomness, that sly little bugger.

I live to confuse EVERYONE around me. If I can’t do that, then what the hell am I supposed to do? I didn’t have internet anymore or the Mall. I am really going to miss good Pizza or fast food. It’s already bad enough that I was practically running around in my single set of Pajamas, too. I should have really brought more of them. Though, to be fair, how would i have known?

Bakuss eventually was the first to recover as he shook his head, before pointing an armored hoof down at one of the stalls opposite from us. “Well anyway, your highness, over there are most of the food vendors and merchants on the market. We can find all sorts of fruits, vegetables and even some meat products over there, if your highness fancies that. I think according to the shamans -and local scholars’- information, all indication leads to the fact that your kind are actually omnivores, am I correct? Excuse me if I am not, sire.” Bakuss explained before rubbing his chin thoughtfully at that last statement.

“Well, your sources are right. My kind does mostly consist of omnivores, me included. But if it freaks you out watching someone eat meat then I can satisfy myself with some good fruits and salad as well… in public, that is.” I answered, which in turn caused Bakuss to shake his head.

“Not at all, sire. These parts of the sands are also sometimes visited by Gryphon merchants, which everybody knows are omnivores as well.” Bakuss answered.

I looked over to the other guards, who nodded one by one to confirm Bakuss’s claim, which again made me think of the concept of Gryphons existing in this world. Sapient Gryphons, no less, judging by the way he talked about them.

“Well, if there are gryphons then there are mostly likely dragons here as well. Or heck, maybe even mermaids where the only interesting thing is located on their chest. Makes me wonder if this world even has fairies as well. If yes then I might snatch myself a fairly odd parent for the magic side of things, like an unlimited supply of pizza and tortellini… jeez, has been a while since I last had some tortellini. Now I am even more hungry.” I thought to myself as my stomach made himself known in his need for some weed. And by weed I mean normal vegetables and not the rainbow inducing kind.

I don’t do drugs let alone smoke. I have stayed far away from that shit and always will, including most alcohol too. All I need is some good Tea or Coffee and I am all set.

“Speaking of Tea, do they have that stuff here as well? Same with the Coffee that N&N talked about? Furthermore, where the heck are those two?”

That thought, though, had to wait, as I was still on a quest in looting someone’s stall of all of its goods. Maybe the bucket trick from Skyrim works here as well? That would be hilarious if it did, somehow.

“Well, ok. Lead the way then, Bakuss. old house. I am sure you know your way around here. A local speaking to a local is obviously much easier and less awkward in the long run.” I answered, a suggestion that seemed to take him a bit by surprise.

“Wow… you really want me to do the leading, your highness? Well, that is a first… no disrespect, of course.” He answered with surprise, which in turn made me look at him curiously before smiling.

“Yes, I’m sure. Just lead the way then, Bakuss. If something does happen you will be the one to receive the first rotten tomato flying in the air. Which is good, because these clothes are still the only ones I have at the moment.” I casually answered with a hand gesture for him to lead the way.

He of course again sported that somewhat confused look on his features before shaking himself off and doing what was suggested. By face I mean his eyes since most of his face was covered by a helmet and a large piece of cloth over his muzzle.

We simply made our way deeper into the market with Zebras left and right giving the armored guards a wide berth and gracing me with their curious looks and stares. Gil, on the other hand, kept relatively quiet just like most of the trip, using his time to actually eye me up as well, probably in a secretive way of trying to understand me and my way of thinking or phrasing things.
Not likely to happen.

“I just hope that my antics don’t cause him to lose his mind. I have a feeling that this guy is going to be around me much longer in the foreseeable future and being a supposedly gifted Shaman for his young age means that he is obviously resourceful. I could definitely use a lot of assistance, if I am really going to do this.

Especially on weekends.”

I do have to say that having a much more in depth look at this market was quite a surprising revelation, mostly because of some of the wares these Zebras had to offer; wares you would normally not associate with a quadrupedal race of herbivores, like fish, hunting tools and weapons and even some goddamn meat. What meat? I had no idea, and to be honest I probably don’t want to know either, since I was strolling around in a world of sapient animals. I might have to refrain from eating burgers here if cows in this world are sapient too. Eating something that talks is just… weird.

By the way, talking about weapons. That one weapon dealer we passed was selling some seriously oversized and over designed greatswords. Like the kinds you would probably see in a Final Fantasy game, or that other game with gigantic hack and slash weapons that I seriously can’t remember at the moment. Starts with M, though.

Either way, as predicted, the market really had a very Middle Eastern type of feel to it, with a whole forest of cloth and fabric of all colors and patterns dominating the space above us and keeping us shaded from the harsh rays of the sun.

Not just Zebras were here, of course. A few other races were there as well, like some of the horse-like creatures I had seen that morning, and even one of the aforementioned Gryphons here and there, managing the meat stands.

Again, just makes you wonder what other mythical creatures this world harbored. Maybe Unicorns and Pegasi? I would certainly not put that possibility past it, not at this point.

Anyway, with the guards nearby -and pretty much surrounding me- talking to the vendors was just as awkward as I originally predicted. Most of them just outright felt intimidated and nervous about their presence, which in turn made them give forced smiles and kindness towards me, some even stuttering when talking. Which was sad, because trying to shove my tab down their faces now would most likely give them a panic attack. In a worst case scenario I would most likely receive free food from them... in the form of thrown projectiles.

“Actually, on second thought, that might be not so bad. Free food is free food after all.”

We eventually found a place that offered some good old hand -or, in this case, hoof- made bread and decided to just get some of that mostly because I am a fan of baked goods of all kinds.

Gil actually was kind of enough to pay for it himself after I realized for the first time that I didn’t carry any local currency on me. Which turned out to be pure silver coins, which is something that the ancient world in...my world used as well. It was either gold or silver, or doing the more ancient way of ‘you give me a potato and I will give you a carrot’ kind of system.

They didn’t even HAD potatoes in that time period so I don’t know WHY I used it as part of my example here. But whatever, in my nonsensical reality they DID have potatoes somehow thanks to the ever so kind and selfish actions of the atlanteans. So shush it.

Either way, while Gil was performing the very delicate art of Speechcraft on that Zebra mare occupying the stand, I suddenly managed to spot some strange movements out of the corner of my eye.

Turning my gaze to give it more attention I was able to spot some dancing shadows around the corner of an isolated looking alleyway on the other end of the market. I could tell that this didn’t look or feel normal, because of the shadowy outlines of what looked like a cage and the occasional hush-hush I was somehow able to hear, despite all the background noise around me.

I don’t know, but beside my vision being crystal clear, despite not having my glasses, I also suddenly noticed that my hearing was substantially better than it used to be too. I have no idea why and how, but for the most part it just seemed to escape my attention because of all this new and strange shit that had been happening around me. I was sure that in the future, when all of my wonder has come down, it would be far more prominent, but as of that moment I was far too focused on everything around me to really give it much thought.

That, and I had something new to check out. I knew that this might be a horrible idea, especially knowing what might be going on there, but my more curious side once again took control of me as I soon found myself strolling over towards the alley with Bakuss and the others most likely noticing my departure.

You know what they say, curiosity kills the cat. And boy, I was walking right into it like the idiot I am sometimes. But hey, at least I had dedicated guards on me, so it really was not that much of a risk, I supposed. Plus I have my trusty mug with me too. That thing once saved me from a ravaging Rooster and let me tell you, the claws on them are for real, especially on those cockfighting ones.

“Uh… Sire? Where are you going?” One of the guards curiously asked, which surprisingly was not Bakuss this time.

“Having a curious look at something.” I simply replied as I was almost halfway to the back alley.

The previous whispers soon transformed themselves into tangible words and sentences as I got closer and closer. Same with the shadows on the ground, as they then had a much clearer outline of something that I would guess resembles a gryphon.

“Well, we might only have managed to catch ourselves some pretty mediocre catch this time, but that ONE lone -and still intact- dragon egg we found deep inside the lion’s den is so going to make us bloody rich when we sell that thing on the black market.” I heard a raspy voice say as I stopped myself right at the corner, to stay invisible to them.

“Absolutely. With that money we might even start to reach even more diverse hunting operations further into the Savanna, which also means more gold and silver for the takin’.” Another answered with a chuckle at the end.

“Very much so. We definitely hit the ‘load this time.” The first added before both of the voices suddenly burst into fits of greedy laughter.

I know that it is evil thanks to a lot of cartoon villains I know from some of my favorite shows I watched… or used to watch because, well, no TV or internet in Zebra desert land.

“Would you two be bloody quiet?! You two seem to forget we are in the middle of a city in. Even if this alley provides some good cover until nightfall, Zebras and whatever else roams the streets nearby can still hear you two featherbrains. So zip it.” A female voice scolded, which in turn caused the previous two to immediately shut their beaks, since gryphons do have them.

The obvious thought quickly came to mind. “Did they say Lions? I always wanted to see real life Lions… well I did but that was YEARS ago back in Cologne Zoo when I was still in Germany. But hey, it also makes me wonder how THIS world versions of Lions actually look, with everything here pretty much looking like a cartoon.” I thought with a grin as my quest in finding some cartoon style lions inserted and checked firmly within my mind. My interest for cats was once again showing itself, and lions are essentially just a much MUCH bigger versions of my house cats back at home… just a bit more hungry.

Without even having second thoughts I simply -and very casually- paced myself around the corner, facing the alley. Still feeling pretty confident in my steel guard to do their job in case these hybrids were not interested in me petting the big fluffy cats of death.

Actually kind of Ironic. Gryphons hunting down Lions even though they are already half lion themselves. What a funny world we live in. This world, I mean.

“Huh… just the way I imagined. And here I thought I would be seeing something similar to Mufasa from Lion king. Still, close enough.” I thought out loud for no particular reason, which immediately hooked the attention of the 3 Gryphons within the alley as they looked at me with surprise.

“What the hell? these are all female. Where is the Alpha?” I casually question them as indeed the only lions I could see occupying the large cage behind them was only filled with Lionesses and cubs. All of which were unconscious for some reason, mostly likely drugged to keep them quiet.

So that is what they call a catnap then?

The one closest to me was the first to recover as he went down to a charging stance while glaring up at me.

“Who the feather plucking Tartarus are you?” he angrily asked, which was quickly mimicked by his comrade next to him.

I was about to respond before the female of the group suddenly answered my question while jumping down from a supply crate she was warming up. “We killed the Alpha. Bastard killed both of our Zebra guides before we could even get close to the den. Had to kill it from the air to make our raid to the Den less problematic. Now the big hairy cat is nothing but rug material and food for the vultures.” She answered while giving me a very dangerous looking smirk.

I simply scratched my chin. ”I see. And I would guess that you guys must have used some kind of paralysis or knockout poison to get all of these lions into your cage, judging by how quiet they are. Would my guess be correct?” I questioned, to which the gryphoness (I think is the term) nodded.

“Wow, you're good at guessing. Congratulations for getting it right on the first try.” She praised before getting closer.

“Uh… boss? Why in Tartarus are you telling this… weird hairless thing of what we did? He already knows what we are and what we have done. He is going to tell the city guard for sure.” Henchman One asked the Ringleader of the gang, which in turn made her smirk turn into a grin instead.

“I know that. I am just giving him the pleasure of answering his questions for him before we kill him and use his remains as food for these cats here during our long journey to Saddle-Arabia. You really think we are going to let him get away after having discovered us?” The boss explained to them before she randomly pulled out a sword out of her back, which in turn prompted the other two to do the same.

Now, most healthy minded persons would start to feel somewhat nervous in a situation like this, but the thing is here that I was NOT alone. I had a whole group of heavily armored and armed guards right next to me, which meant that this was going to be a very one sided fight while I could just stand on the sidelines completely unharmed.

With that reassuring fact in my head my smile never left my features this entire time, even more so when I turned my gaze to the side, expecting a full group of guards lead by Bakuss to be standing by my side. The only problem with that plan, though, was that there was no Bakuss or guards nearby. Just me and my assortment of goodies on me.

My smile and confidence quickly wavered after that realization hit me, as I began to comically turn my head swiftly from left to right, up and down, sideways and everywhere else before quickly spinning myself around and back in hopes of finding Bakuss and the guards somewhere else around me. Only to eventually spot them ALL the way back at the bread stand at the market where I felt them. Too far away to really see or hear anything that was currently happening here, especially from that angle facing the alley.

“I thought these bastards’ job was about keeping an eye on me. I mean, they are, but being a little bit CLOSER would definitely be more effective. Bakuss, I am going to murder you for this if I survive somehow. I thought you and your gang of noobs had followed me.” I thought to myself with a very heavy scowl aimed at him, which he thankfully noticed as he quickly ordered his men to follow him before galloping to my location.

Too far away they were, sadly, and too close to me were the three Gryphons with their sword swords pointing at me. “May I request an extra 10 seconds to explain myself?” I simply asked, even though deep down I was nervous as all hell.

“Nope. Greg, get him!” The now dubbed BITCH answered.

Before I could even blink the one closest to me suddenly began to charge at me with a mighty battle cry, while keeping the tip of the blade pointing firmly at my chest.

My eyes quickly went wide before I too gave off a much… less epic battle cry as I swiftly did the first thing that my adrenaline-fuelled brain could muster.

Throwing my mug at the charging half-bird with all my strength.

Time seemed to slow down at that moment as my blue colored Mug flew through the air and towards its target. The mug spun in the air as it flew, the derp smile icon on it facing the attacker the moment it connected with its skull, causing the Gryphon’s head to jerk back from the force with a little trail of blood following it along before taking the entirety of its body in the form of a backwards spin. The mug simply flew over the gryphon’s spinning form with his derp face proudly presenting itself to everybody, and surprisingly seeming to be intact as well, despite what it was just used for.

Time seemed to promptly return to normal the moment both the mug and the unfortunate gryphon who stood in its way crashed onto the ground. One creating an audible thud, the other creating clanking noises.

I personally could have sworn that the trololol song was playing somewhere when the mug connected with the bird beast’s skull and flew off over it.

Everybody was in shock, including me.

“What the… what just happened?” Henchman 2 asked, completely confused and looking at his downed comrade with wide eyes.

“Your highness! Look out!” Bakuss shouted from behind me, which forced me to blink and notice that the female -dubbed Bitch- had taken this opportunity of confusion to charge at me with her wings flapping to add to her already lightning-fast charge. Her eyes showed murderous intent and rage.

Once more, out of instinct, I did the only rational thing that my adrenaline fueled brain could muster, simply jumping out of the way like any semi sane person would do. Though instead of jumping and rolling off sideways like any normal person would do in this situation, my panic filled head instead had the absolutely brilliant idea to just jump straight up. A move which would have gotten me killed, if it wasn’t for the fact that I somehow managed to jump way, WAY higher than I anticipated. Like really high, high enough to see both the Palace complex up on the cliff and a large area of the city surrounding it. So high that it would even make Mario in his prime turn his head.

“What the? This shouldn’t be physically possible, especially with my lazy and non-athletically built freaking body! Talk about getting really high, and I don’t even do drugs.” I thought to myself with surprised eyes before gravity suddenly realized how I was basically giving it the middle finger and giving me its own by immediately pulling me back down.

“Oh… shit!” Was all I could mutter to myself before I found myself dropping just as fast back down as I got up, flailing my arms and screaming like a bitch before landing on somebody’s sandstone roof with a heavy and audible thud, which also forced what little air I had left inside my already depleted lungs out. That, and the fact that I landed flat on my chest, too, my face and limbs making contact second.

“Yeah… fuck you too, gravity… like seriously, go suck someone’s dick you ass.” I cursed mentally to my new nemesis as everything on me pretty much felt like I got pushed off a speeding airplane and landed flatly on a large rock.

Actually, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. What the hell am I thinking? Someone please give me some coffee… and some painkiller to go with it as well… or just straight on chloroform to knock me out.

“Ok… I think I am ready to head back to the Palace…” I groaned to no one in particular as suddenly some shouting and clashing metal echoed from somewhere nearby.

Come to think of it, how the HELL did I even survive THAT?!. I must have jumped and dropped at least… 50 meters or, something. Any normal human would have just turned into paste after such a drop, especially the way I managed to land. And that is not accounting for the surface on which I landed in the first place.

“What the HELL!? First I get transported to a magical land of talking animals from my backyard, then I get accused of being some kind of ancient prophesied king to a nation full of miniature Zebras, then I find out that both my hearing and vision are somehow even better than ever before, and now I just found out that I am somehow capable of jumping just as high as Spiderman and being able to survive an otherwise fatal fall with nothing but a really badly aching body.”

Even my worst fever dreams couldn’t possibly come up with this shit, which just also solidified my proof further that THIS was all REAL. That and the huge pain I was currently suffering throughout my front portion of my body.

“Sire? Your highness? Where are you?” I heard someone shout close by. Down below obviously.

“I think I saw him land on top of that house over there. Quick, one of you, get up on its roof and see if my sight proves true.” Another one shouted... only later recognizing that it was actually Bakuss thanks to my somewhat dazed mind.

“Yes I am pretty sure that he is talking about the right building.” I thought to myself as I heard a set of clip-clops getting closer and closer to where I was resting before essentially stopping somewhere right close to me with an audible gasp to go with it.

“Sergeant, I found his Highness up here on the roof laying face down motionless.” I heard the guy most likely next to me shout, which in turn made me cringe from the sheer volume of it.

“Could you PLEASE stop your shouting so close by? I am trying to enjoy my agony in peace, plus I apparently have some super sensitive hearing now.” I groaned into the sandstone surface below me, which in turn again caused the one next to me to sigh in relief before gasping again as if he was getting punched into the food sack or something.

“Sire? Are you alright?” He stupidly asked as I heard him shifting closer to me and mostly likely kneeling next to me, judging by the shadow casting over me.

The sun is such a bitch that it is actually was quite easy to tell the presence without having to look.

I resist the urge to grumble. “Yes, yes. I am quite alright, there mister Iron Horse… OF COURSE I AM NOT FINE! CAN'T YOU TELL?!” I responded, which must have caused the pony next to me to flinch back from my outburst, as the sun momentarily slapped me back on the neck before retreating again.

I was seriously getting frustrated with all of this, which is something, given my usual laid back nature.

“S-sorry si-sire.” He meekly replied.

I simply groaned as I quickly calmed myself down again. “Can you at least help me to roll myself over onto my back? I am momentarily afraid of moving on my own in case I should break something inside of me.” I asked.

“Oh, uh.... Yes, of course, sire.” He simply replied before doing as I asked by placing both his forehooves against my right side and gently pushing, rolling me over onto my back.

I groaned in discomfort as my back hit the literally rock hard surface of the sandstone roof below me, feeling both the heat thanks to a day's worth of sun exposure through my shirt and my overall sore body.

“What the? What happened, Private. Is his highness alright?” I suddenly heard Bakuss ask as I saw his form quickly appear on the edge of the roof.

“I think so, Sergeant, or at least that’s what it looks like. Though it seems his highness is in a lot of pain, according to him.” The first one answered, making me groan once again at how cluelessly this guy was behaving.

“A Private indeed. How long has he been on the guard? A week? Really, one of the things I need to improve in this place once my title becomes official is the guard itself, and the rest of the army as a whole.

I’m sure all of these different Zebra tribes have something special and unique only to them, which could make for a seriously versatile army. But I am just overthinking and over-theorizing at this point. I first have to get myself back on my feet without accidently dislocating something.” I thought.

Bakuss facehoofed before doing the only sensible thing of this entire group of chuckle-fucks and trotting over to my side and leaning over.

I am seriously starting to like Bakuss again, as well.

“Are you alright sire? Can you stand up on your own, or do I need to call for some medical aid?” He asked me directly, which prompted me to test out both my arms and legs to see if they were broken, despite the soreness, and if I could perhaps get back up on my own.

Feeling that the pain surprisingly lessened considerably, I slowly moved my right arm over my face to block out the sun before moving my eyes to look at him.

“Yeah, I think I can get back up, though some assistance would be nice. I am still unsure if anything one me is broken or not.” I answered, which in turn caused him to nod before positioning himself behind me and placing his hoof under my shoulders.

With a bit of a push and a painful grunt from me I was finally back on a seating up position since my miraculous jump and fall. I pushed myself even further to force myself to get back up fully and was immediately surprised to find out that I did it. Albeit hunched over with a hand on my back.

Most of the pain had managed to subside as I finally stood there, with only the soreness around my body still being present. But I was sure that that would also solve itself over time, though I was still going to feel the aftereffects of my stunt the next day, similar to exercise.

“Are you sure you need no more help there, Sire? That was quite a… well…. impressive jump and fall back there. Something I have never seen any creature do before. A Zebra wouldn’t have walked away from a fall like that unscathed, or, in a worst case scenario, even survive.” Bakuss said with concern.

I simply waved his concerns off before slowly making my way to a set of stairs leading back down to an equal level with him. “Well, I am just as surprised as you, to be honest. And yes, I am fine. Just a bit sore, is all.” I answered as I moved past the “““genius””” guard who first found me. His head hanging low somewhat, probably in shame.

Me, Bakuss and stodge made our way back to the scene of the crime, which the rest of the guards actually did a pretty good job of cleaning up, as all three of the gryphons were restrained and chained on all four of their legs with their weapons and equipment confiscated. Gil was there as well, of course, simply overseeing the work while chewing on a piece of bread he probably bought for himself.

“Huh. This guy can be pretty chill, too. And here I thought that I was the only cool one in these lands.”

Two were unconscious, while the gryphoness was the only one of the group still conscious. She was glaring up at me, which I mostly ignored, especially after finding both my tab and mug lying lazily on the ground.

“Must have dropped my Tab right before I jumped. Luckily, it still seems to be in pretty good shape.” I thought to myself as I ducked down with a groan to pick it up.

Moving over to my downed mug, which was lying quite a distance away from where the dude was when he got hit, I stopped right in front of it and simply observed it. A feeling of new found respect for Coffee Mugs was building up inside me as I slowly bent down to pick it up as well, rotating it a bit on my hand until the Derp face on its blue surface was smiling up at me.

I puckered my lips a bit before nodding at the image in both respect and admiration. “The power of Coffee and derp can NOT be underestimated.” I declared before thrusting the mug up into the air in triumph. “With this mug I shall conquer this world and all of its races. One cup at a time.” I shouted into the sky before holding it out in front of me just like a sword.

“A ceramic trinket for a weapon is fine, though I still would suggest a proper blade you find.” Gil suddenly spoke up and ruining the moment I was having like a complete dick.

I gave him a glare. “Thank you, Gil, for ruining my flow. Wasn’t it obvious to you that I was having an “EPIC moment” here?” I complained.

“My apologies there, Sire. I was unaware that my interruption would be so dire.” He responded, which in turn made me scoff and abandon my pose.

“Anyway, what seems to be the situation here?” I asked while looking around.

Bakuss was the one who stepped up. “Well, first, these three Gryphons are going to be sent to a temporary prison cell here in the city to await trials against charges such as illegal poaching and direct assault on royalty before eventually being transported to Char-Bazzard, a prison complex deep into the desert.” Bakuss explained before gesturing a hoof towards the still unconscious and caged lions next to us. ”While these lions over there are just going to be transported back into the Savanna far to the south and released back into the wild where they belong.” Bakuss finished before looking back at me, possibly for some form of input in this.

I simply nodded. “Good. Good. Anything else?” I questioned further.

Bakuss was about to respond before he was beat to the punch by one of his men. “Sergeant! We believe we found a dragon egg in one of these poachers’ bags. By the looks of it, it still seems to be perfectly intact.” He shouted before pulling out a really oversized red and white egg from one of the leathery bags he held.

“Wait… what? Seriously?” Bakuss exclaimed in surprise, which was mimicked by Gil. Not so much with me, as I casually rose an eyebrow at the potential oversized omelet.

Remember, I somehow got sucked into a magical world of talking animals from my backyard. My suspension of disbelief was almost unlimited at that point. Just give me the existence of the Care Bears in this world and my life's quest would be completed. Completed when I bring there Care-A-Lot down to earth in a burning flash of fire and make them eat their own rainbows. Maybe not.

“Sooo… what is the big deal with dragon eggs, exactly?” I curiously asked, which in turn caused Gil to look up at me.

“The claiming of a dragon egg is quite rare, and especially those who would even dare.” Gil explained in his usually cryptic rhymes before Bakuss stepped up to explain more.

“True to that, the possession of dragon egg for a species that is NOT a dragon is quite rare and even dangerous, not to mention the part of actually getting your hooves on one of them in the first place. They demand outrageous prices in shady places, specifically for those which are -obviously- still intact.” Bakuss explained.

I scratched my head with a free hand. “Well, ok then. But… where does the “dangerous” part of your explanation kick in?” I asked once more, which in turn caused Gil to take the lead.

“Owning a dragon egg is bad, because it would certainly get its mother mad. Unless the egg was found far away from its nest, which would most likely be the best guess. I presume no dragon mother had yet come to find its young. If one did you could consider your final song sung.” Gil explained and theorized at the end with his usual trend.

Hey, I did a rhyme in such little time.

I scratched my chin in thought before an idea sprang to mind, which was unique in its kind. I smiled at my third rhyme in a row.

“Well, then in that case, finders keepers, then?” I happily declared as I made my way over to the soldier carrying egg to have a much more in depth look at it.

“Wait… WHAT?” Bakuss asked shocked. “Why in the name of every Zebra god out there would you want to keep a dragon egg for yourself, Sire? Dragons are dangerous, a sheer force of destruction.” Bakuss continued to argue.

I simply snatched away the egg from the equally shocked guard holding it and turned it on my hand and raising it up to the rays of the sun for a full view, smiling as I could feel some kicking happening inside of it the moment the warmth of the sun hit its shelly exterior. Images of many possibilities washed over my mind regarding this little bugger. Plus it would just be awesome to have and raise a baby dragon as my own. Again, just imagine the possibilities, especially since I am to be King of a whole nation.

The King who raised a Dragon. That alone is a title to salivate for.

“THAT is precisely the reason I am so inclined to keep this little guy.” I answered, while still keeping my gaze fixed on this living flamethrower in a shell. “For one, it’s obviously better to raise such a beast as our own then to have it possibly used against us. And second, who wouldn’t wanna have a little dragon buddy as his companion? This is like every little boy's biggest dream.” I explained with a large grin, imagining all the possibilities with this guy. I.E., watching my enemies wither away from its flames and massive claws.

“Oh, and let’s not forget about the political leverage of having a dragon on our side as well.” I quickly added.

Not even King for a day and I already had ideas of conquest and weaponization in mind. Such is human nature. For us it’s either ‘can I eat it?’ can I fuck it?’ or ‘can I weaponize it?’

“Well… I… I am not so sure about this, Sire.” Bakuss replied, obviously still feeling somewhat unsure about my decision, despite my reasoning.

I just rolled my eyes before looking over at Gil for his input on the matter, which I got, but only in the form of an unsure shrug and more chewing on his piece of hardened flour.

I scoffed. “No sense of fun or adventure, you two. I will just follow my assumptions and keep this guy. You know what they say. Finders keepers.” I declared before looking back at the egg with excitement.

“I am going to get my own Spyro. Or Cynder if it’s a she, but those 3 Spyro games were just meh.” I thought to myself as I casually made my way out of the alley and back out into the open with chickenpox looking soccer as part of my stuff.

That’s when I suddenly felt something bumped against my side, which almost caused me to lose my balance and let go of my precious cargo.

“What the? Watch where the heck you’re…”The one who bumped into me complained while rubbing their sore snout and looking up at me with a glare, only for that glare to turn into shock and surprise.

I grinned as I realized who it was that bumped into me so rudely. “Najero du altes haus. Wie geht es den? Look what I managed to find while you two were off having fun with the local gay parade.” I greeted him while showing him the new dragon egg as the guard and his sister came closer and closer to us.

His eyes went wide. “Oh, by the Gods. it’s the hairless monkey thing again?” He exclaimed as a familiar looking Zebra mare came running around a distant street corner with guards hot on her heels.

I paid them no mind at the moment. “Nah, nah, NAH. No need for such words there Naji, I don’t call you and your sister horses now do I?” I chided before the mare known as Nami bumped into his brother instead of me. How they kept running without looking forward I have no idea, but hey, like brother like sister, is what they used to say.

Isn’t it?

Bakuss and the rest of the gang immediately came backing me up with both of their spears and swords drawn, just in time for the rest of the other group to catch up too, which eventually caused N&N to get surrounded faster than they could recover from the awkward kiss.

Gil, of course, was once again just watching from the sideline that chill bugger.

“Sire, these two were caught escaping from their prison cell before proper trials could be done to them. I am positive that these two are most likely dangerous if they are capable of escaping so easily in the first place. So I suggest that you stand back, your highness, while we take them back in.” the lead guard of the other group explained.

I gave a smartass smile while looking from the two terrified twins towards the lead guard in question. “These two? I doubt it. OR it could also be that you lot might not be as good as you all like to believe.” I claimed with an all knowing grin. My experience AND observation previously of my own guards gave me some leverage on that accusation. Granted, a bit harsh on this guys, but flaws need to be pointed out if you want to get rid of them.

“What… what do you mean Sire?” The guard in front of me asked, confused, which in turn almost made me want to shake my head at him.

I waved him off. “Never mind, just leave these two be and focus more on keeping an eye on the truly shady characters in town. If you want more info on that, then go ask Bakuss over here. I shall just take these two from here on out.” I declared.

“But… But Sire…” He tried to argue, which I stopped by rising my mug at him.

“No butts, only Buts. I already got enough of that by individuals not having a tail with the appropriate length.” I interrupted while giving the MARE in question an all-knowing glare, which caused her to hide a bit behind her sibling.

“Anyway, these two did me a solid once before when I first appeared in...the desert” I said as my left eye twitched. ”So that means I owe them this. Whatever else I may be, I repay my debts. Plus I also found them first so I can keep them as well” I finally declared, which in turn caused both N&N to look up at me, surprised.

“But Sire-” the guard tried to argue once more, before I cut him off again, just casually marching off with my egg nicely balanced on my hand.

“No BUTTS. Have seen enough of them for one day, as I said. Bakuss, Gil let’s just head back to the palace while taking these two with us.” I simply declared before stopping in mid stride as I remembered something.

“Oh, and could you also give me some of that bread you bought from that baker vendor back there? I am- OH! CHEESE! They sell cheese over there.”

Chapter 6: Making It Public...That I Lost My Sanity Years Ago

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 7: Smaug The Dragon Ain't Got Shit On Me

Chapter 7: Smaug the dragon ain’t got shit on me
Edited By: Rainbowblitz, Fistfire

“And here we are, the entrance to the treasure vaults underneath the Palace.” Bakuss announced as he and a few other guards began to unlock and open up the massive bronze doors separating us and the treasures that lie beyond them.

I was really getting a “Raiders of the lost Ark” feel in the way these underground passage halls were constructed and once again decorated.

With color this time of course instead of the samey samey sandy colored sandstone you see in the movie. All that is missing is some generic looking Nazi’s to suddenly jump up from the corners or ceilings demanding the contents of these treasures and the stage is set. Just give me a whip and play the Indiana Jones theme song in the background and I will happily fight my own people.

Because this treasure is MINE you bitches. I am going to dive in and swim in it like old Scrooge McDuck, that stingy bastard.

These thoughts were quickly halted though when the double bronze doors were finally and slowly pushed open by four struggling guards who should totally work out some more and giving us the first golden glimpses into the national treasure vaults of past histories and beyond.

“A large portion of it actually has been stayed untouched since the last Monkey King according to the records, mostly because back then the kingdom of old fractured back into the original 14 tribes which meant that most of the expenses were cut dramatically short as they all became independent once more.” I heard Bakuss talk in the background like the usual joy kill he sometimes is as I was more focused on the golden glare shining towards us.

Sorry but I just have to say this in my native tongue. “Meine augen waren entzückt”

“…that is not all, some of these relics even date back before the great…” Bakuss continued on his uninteresting lectured as I was still busy staring at the “Slaraffenland” in front of me.

“Ja, Ja, Ja that is all nice and good Bakuss old boy but I am seriously more focused at the scene itself rather than the history of it.” I proclaimed in wonder.

My legs suddenly began to have a mind of their own as I soon found myself moving forward without my conscious decent. Something that should be checked after all, if it wasn’t for the situation that this accrued at.

As soon as I entered the vault itself, was the moment where my vision finally cleared from all that golden halo I saw before. It got immediately replaced by the most eye opening scene I have ever witnessed.

I fell down to my knees and stretched out my arms in front of me in a begging or gifting gesture, all while still holding my never changing expression of wonder.

“This is the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.” I proclaimed quietly with tears running down my eyes when a set of hoofs suddenly came up from behind me.

“Only the second? What was the first?” Susi curiously asked. Seriously, I have almost forgotten that she was still with me.

“Accidentally stumbling into a full girls changing room at my local high school pool.” I answered without even thinking as I was still dazed with the unimaginable riches in front of me.

“…uh what? I heard her reply.

“D cup my dear Susi, one of them had a natural D cup sized cleavages.”

For starters this underground vault was huge, thick and naturally carved out columns were stretching high up to the vault ceiling. Below the platform we were standing on is a sea of golden treasury goodness that would even make Smaug the dragon wake up from his slumber. Though if he did then I will just use the wonders of modern science and throw a huge bottle of chloroform at his scaly face instead of shooting a certain fantasy arrow that I don’t have.

Basically just do what that one guy did in the 2005 King Kong movie.

But anyway, it wasn’t as absolutely ridiculous as in the Hobbit movie but this was still a close second contender in my book. I have no idea how all of this MULAH got hoarded in here in the first place, but I would guess that one or even some of the previous humans before me must have been some serious money hoarders if they were able to pull this off. Or really good with economics and administrations who knows.

And yes I watched a lot of movies but to be honest, a lot of people did, even if it’s from a legit source or pirated.

But anyway, money in the foreseeable future shouldn’t be a problem for whatever ideas and project I have in mind. Unless I somehow screw this up and somehow spend this shit all on stuff I don’t really need. But since that there are no games or electronics I doubt that'll ever happen.

“Your highness are you…going to keep that post for a much longer period of time or…” Susi once again blabbered which wasn’t so bad because my knees were starting to go hurt a bit.

This is a solid stone floor I am kneeling on after all.

I stood up while dusting myself off, I was about to most likely do something stupid when I mentally decided to mimic old Scrooge McDucks way of starting his day to day morning when a new disturbance in the force prevented me from doing.

That disturbance uncovered itself as an exhausted looking mare servant rushed down the long hall we just came from.

Bakuss was the most confused of all of us before shaking his focus back online and addressing the newcomer with a demanding look.

“Wait a minute. Who the heck are you and who exactly let you in here in the first place? A palace servant should have no access to the underground vaults whatsoever. So how did you get in here?” He demanded which in turn made the servant look rather nervous besides her panting, and somewhat sheepish as well for some reason.

“Well…uhm.” She began in between breaths. “The guards who used to be stationed up above at the entrance suddenly ask me to hold their post so that they can go and urinate. I was very hesitant of course as I was still in a hurry to find anyone with authority. But after asking and them telling me that both a palace guard officer and the new king were down here I decided to take up their offer before they left and made my way down here instead. So that is what happened.” She explained which made Bakuss facehoof and Susi look bewildered.

Another strike for the incompetency of the guards of this place. I guess a thousand years of just sitting on your ass all day tends to do that for someone military, but even this is just borderline ridiculous. Even towards my standards.

And my standards aren’t really impressive to begin with.

Did I just use the term facehoof? Ahh whatever.

“Bakuss?!” I called out. “Go take a HUGE sack of gold from one of the piles behind me and bring it back up.” I casually instructed.

“Why should I do that Sire?” He questioned with a raised brow.

“Simple, we are going to use that money to get the guard better training, better discipline, better equipment and if necessary better brains either through your kind’s Voodoo hoodoo or medical surgery. Whatever is available.” I answered.

He just nods before doing exactly what I ask him to do.

“Though I still believe that we are going to need more than just one sack.” He commented in which I scoffed.

“So then go take two, or three, or HECK go get your friends…” I stopped as I remembered WHO his friends really were before stealing a quick glance at the servant mare and giving myself and mental nod. “…On second thought, go get HER friends and take as many sacks of coin and colorful see through rocks as you can all possible carry. It’s not like we are short on funds or anything.” I announced by sweeping my arm dramatically at the sea of bling and glitter around us.

Bakuss, as predictable, seemed a bit hesitant. “But…but I can’t just do that. I am just your average guard officer, not even one of the high end captains or generals. I would have to get permission from the….” Bakuss began before I quickly stopped him with a raised hand.

“Then you have my utmost permission to do as you please, even more so you have full access to the treasury as a whole because I just know that you are NOT one of those characters who are corrupted and shit.” I call out.

“In fact as far as I know you are more than just you average run of the mill officer than you claim to be. You certainly have a lot more common sense in your zebra noggin compared to your shower buddies. So you’re all good.” I quickly added with a raised finger.

He of course looked a bit shocked at the level of freedom and trust I just so openly gave to him, but he managed to quickly shake it off before nodding and asking the servant next to him to help him pick up some cash from the closest pile.

And as good servant she simply complied. Though I might have the concern that she takes her dedication in her occupation a little bit too serious in certain areas.

I hope she is clean for whoever she is serving.

“So I would guess this is going to be your first plan then?” Susi began. “To bolster the guards to its original glory” She finished while looking up at me.

I just nod. “Well a safe populace is a happy populace I would say, that and giving them bread and water and whatever else a multi headed family needs in these lands. Maybe even adding a playground for the little ones.” I explained as both me and her watched Bakuss and unnamed individual number 58 do their thing.

And no I am NOT actually counting them all, I am just picking whatever random number that is going through my head at the moment and stick it at the end for some level of comedic effect.

What are the actual benefits to mentally remembering and counting them all anyway? There is none. It’s better to just ask what all of their names are and write them all down on a piece of paper. Because, let’s be honest here, I am never going to openly remember all of their names and faces anytime soon and I am certainly not going to bother trying to do so either.

There are more important aspects to focus on. Speaking of focus…

I turned my FOCUS back on the mare in question. “Hey what was the reason you came down here in the first place? You wanted to find and talk to someone with some level of authority right? Well you can’t go anymore higher in talkable authority figures than me, unless you are religious that is.” I ask her which in turn cause her expression to lighten up immediately as if she just remembered something important.

“Oh…uh…yes of course your Highness I totally forgot. “She started with self-realization before continuing. “I came down here to quickly inform you that the dragon egg you brought with you from those gryphon poachers a few days back has started to form the first few cracks on its surface. Not only that, but it has started to wiggle and move a bit as well.” She swiftly explained.

Now I have to admit, I was indeed a tad bit surprised to find out that the egg I so handsomely liberated from these hybrid wanna be bird lions was already close to hatching. Or in this case already hatching if I want to be more precise with my statement.

“Well I see…well that puts a damper on our plans.” I announced and resting my right hand under my chin to look thoughtful.

“A damper on our plans? Why is that?” Susi asked while tilting her head a bit, a thing I have quickly learned these equines seem to do a lot whenever seeming confused or left in the dark.

In fact, these equines do like to express their thoughts and emotions quite physically now that I reflect about it a bit more.

Worst poker players EVER, which is why I should challenge some of them in the future when I have the time.

“Well that simply.” I begin by holding my arms out dramatically. “Simply means I now have to choose to both stay and to continue gawking at the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Or I will have to bother carrying my ass back upstairs to be the first human of my generation to witness the wonder and miracles of life of a baby dragon. Quite a difficult choice if you ask me.” I explain before going Socrates once more.

Bakuss was about to say something when Susi so very professionally beat him to it. Good job Susi.

“I think that it would be better if we go and observe the hatching ourselves. Dragon babies to tend to be pretty unpredictable depending on what species it is. So just to be safe we better go and keep an eye on things before someone reports a fire, injuries or whatever else.” Susi suggested which I have to give it to her does make some level of sense when you think about it.

I mean we ARE dealing with a dragon here, and that egg wasn’t particularly small either. Double the size of an ostrich egg to be precise. Hmmmm that would have made a pretty KICK ASS omelet if it wasn’t for the fact that its inhabitant was still alive and kicking.

Literally kicking at the moment. But besides that joke I do have to agree with Susi’s logic.

I acknowledge her with a nod. “You know what, you are right. ‘Die bestie musst erst mal unter kontrolle sein” before we do anything else. Let’s go meet the newest edition.” I declared as I began to make my way out of the vault with both my arm and index finger pointing the way before me and not bothering to wait for the others.

“Hey…hold up your Highness.” Susi called out as I heard her follow me.

“So wait, Am I still…”

“Yes you are, just go get her friends and get as much cash as you equine legs can carry. I have a date with and egg.” I interrupted Bakuss before finally disappearing from his sight.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
(uncalled for and unnecessary 3rd person perspective)

“Oh what do we do, what do we do?” A zebra servant chanted, her nervousness and stress clearly shown in her expression and tone.

“I don't now know, it just won’t stop shaking and tilting left to right. I have dealt with normal zebra birth before but not a DRAGON one.” Another mare said as she was also on the verge of panic.

Especially when a new and much larger crack appeared on the egg's surface.

“This is not good. What are we supposed to do when it hatches? I mean, this is a DRAGON we are talking about here.” A third servant argued as she slowly began to hyperventilate when the word ‘dragon’ exited her mouth.

They have no idea that their pleas for help were finally answered, though if that help has any good amount of responsibility or even legally allowed to take care and watch over babies is highly debatable. Though what this individual does have that still makes him suitable for this task is the fact that he has a lot of common when it comes to kids. If you don’t add his lack of sanity or his unpredictability in any situation.

The doors to the royal chamber suddenly swing open, revealing both their savior and confuse-or.

“Do not fear, because your number one psychopathic Dragonborn is here. Or maybe Sheogorath, as I think his character fits me way better than the later one.” The Monkey King announced as he stood there with his trademark grin and a somewhat distant look in his eyes.

The mares just looked on with confusion at first before they realized who exactly was standing before them as they immediately dropped down in a bow.

Their king just waved them off. “No need to bend yourself over in front of me. I would save that for the studs you three secretly like if I were you.” He responded before moving towards the night table that housed the epileptic egg.

“So what seems to be the deal here? How long has this thing been protesting about its calcium prison?” The bipedal monarch ask as he leans forward towards it.

One of the maids got up to address his question. “I am not sure your Highness. Petala was the first who notice the egg shaking when she was cleaning your royal chambers. She just eventually came to us to ask us to keep an eye on it while she goes to look for anyone with any level of authority for help.” She explained as more and more cracks started to appear on the egg's surface in a rather alarming rate this time. Signaling that whatever was inside is only moments away in getting out in a free wide world.

The King just nods. “I see, well then since you three are already here you might as well go get some water and towels if my knowledge of birth is anything to go bye.” He suggested.

Another mare got up. “I can go do that your Highness. The indoor fountains are just at the end of this hall I can just….” She tried to say before she got interrupted by the sound of loud cracking and crunching filling the room.

Everyone’s attention immediately fell back on the egg. Cracks were now basically covering almost every surface as some gaps started to appear on some of the larger ones, giving everyone who looked close enough the first few glimpses of its inhabitant.

It looked red, with a mix of purple.

It was also the perfect moment when Susi suddenly came trotting into the room herself looking both exhausted and completely out of breath as she passed by the three servants.

“Why…did you run like that…your Highness? You should know that…your legs are far longer than mine…and that I have trouble keeping up because of….” Susara said in between breaths before she was quickly silenced by the glorious and very, VERY gentle king by clamping her muzzle shut with his fingers.

“Pssst, be quiet. We are in the process of witnessing the birth of an intimidating and very powerful….”He stopped as he first lay eyes on the mighty beast of nature as it finally broke through its calcium made prison.

He leaned forward raised with his left brow in both surprise and intrigued. Everybody within the room followed his example as they all stared at the presumed malice of nature.

“Susi?”

“Yes your highness.”

“Are you sure this is a dragon?” Alexander ask as he continued to stay hunched forward towards the newborn drake. Occasionally poking it on its red and purple scales.

“Well…uh yes…yes it is sire. Why do you ask?” Susara responded as she looked up at her King with a curious expression.

He straightened himself and looked down at Susara. “Because it’s too ADORABLE to be monster of fire and war like how I originally imagined it to be.” He gestured towards the little red, orange and purple bundle of scaly joy.

Speaking of joy, the aforementioned dragon somehow found the entire spectacle really funny as it started to giggle.

The little drake simply sat there in the middle of its eggy remains with its big puffy cheeks, oversized baby eyes and stubby little tail as it gazed up towards the mentally challenged monarch with the most coma inducing expression a baby can ever do.

The dreaded puppy dog look of doom.

“LOOK AT IT!!” The king announced while grabbing Susara off the ground with his left arm and holding her against his side. “The future terror of our neighbors is nothing more than the cutest little baby lizard I have ever seen in my life, which says a lot for someone who grew up watching cartoons in his youth and still continued doing so in his young adult years.” He announced out at random before clutching his chest with his free hand.

“Huff* huff* huff* Level two…LEVEL TWO DIABETES!! He posed dramatically with two fingers.”I hope you guys have some good pharmacy going on here because I am certainly going to be needed ALL of it If I am seriously going to keep it as my own.” He declared dramatically which in turn made the little baby dragon giggle in joy at his silliness.

“Awwwwwww.” All three servants chanted at the same time.

Something Alex mostly ignored as his focus went back to Susara dangling right next to him.

“Very expensive Susi, it is very expensive. That is, if this place has any medical insurance or not.” He continued to babble on.

Susi on the other hand (because Alex was using the other to get his point across) was just as confused about her monarch’s antics as she usually is before just shaking her head and getting her mind back to the issue at hand.

Hoof or claw or whatever.

“How about we focus more in finding out what gender this baby has before jumping to anymore conclusions about possible health problems?” She suggested which in turn caught Alexander’s attention.

He had a look of realization. “Ah yes, yeah I forgot about that. That IS a very important problem that needs to be solved and determined as quickly as possible. I mean…we don’t want to suddenly buy it the wrong clothes and toys now do we?” He casually answered before comically dropping Susara from his grasp by just...letting go of her and focusing back at the little baby bundle.

Susara yelps as she hits the ground before giving the focus diverted monarch a bit of a sore look. Alexander decided to just wing it and gently picks the babbling baby up with both of his hands to have a better feel and look at the creature.

It was still surprising to him in just how light the little thing was despite its size and looks, but then again it is still just a baby so weight shouldn’t really be that much of an issue.

A smile swiftly formed on his face. “Es ist eine Uschi,” He declared which got everyone’s attention.

“Uh…a what?” Susara ask, a question that everyone within the room shared.

“It means it’s a girl.” Alex casually answered while not diverting his attention from the baby drake in his hands who at this point started to play ‘the motorboat’.

Susara tilter her head. “Really, how did you figure that out? I haven’t seen you CHECK its gender.” She asks.

“Simply.” Alex declared as he switched his gaze down towards Susara. “She has EYELASHES.” He declared while showing the baby off to everyone before holding it out in front of him again. “Cartoon logic dictates that individuals with eyelashes are always recognized as females in that world. And since this world does look cartoonish in nature and the fact that you and every other mare or female I have come across, so far, does have prominent looking eyelashes. I it just makes sense to assume that this dragon baby here is actually a dragoness. So no more of that IT nonsense this my friends is a she through and through.” He finished in which the newly duped dragoness began to giggle happily while trying to reach out with its stubby little arms to try and touch Alexander’s smiling face.

Susara smiled. “Well in that case it’s good to know that we finally know what gender it even though I have no idea what a…cartoon is.” She said with a bit of confusion in the end.

“But on the other note she does seem to have taken quite a liking towards you already. Maybe having a dragon in the city might not be such a bad idea after all.” She added happily, a statement in which alexander can only agree upon.

“Indeed but still one question still reminds.” He said while looking thoughtful.

“What kind of question?” Susara asked.

“Easy.” He declared before once again presenting the newly born infant to everyone in the room.” Who of you lovely ladies has the time and honor to babysit this new infant for me?” He announced which in turn caused everyone to look up at him with questionable looks on their muzzles.

Alex crooked an eyebrow. “What? I am the king here remember. You all know very well that I have a lot of work and responsibilities on my hands, especially now and in the upcoming future. I obviously won’t have a lot of time to look after this thing while doing all the kingly stuff that everybody wants me to do.” He explained before holding the infant against his side with one arm.

“Plus I am not very good with kids anyway. My attention span is too short for that.” He quickly added.

One of the servants got pushed forward by the other two.

Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait, you can blame games like Civilization 6 and Stellaris Utopia for that.

But anyway, as some of you can tell I updated the cover art with the new Dragoness that everybody wanted, and to add to that a proper character sketch of her as well.

Chapter 8: First Day on the Job and Already Chaos

Author's Note

Finally, a new chapter depicting the adventures of our great and glorious Moneky King of Zebrica.

Hope its all to your liking. Also what do you think of the dragons name? Is it fitting?

Chapter 8: First Day on the Job and Already Chaos

Chapter 8: First day on the Job and Already Chaos
Edited by: Chrome Masquerade, Fistfire

“You know, it’s not really that bad when you think about it. So... Why are we exactly trying to escape? I mean, we have the opportunity to live better than most zebras down in the city, so why throw that away?” Nami asked as she watched her brother pace back and forth in front of the huge bed she was currently occupying.

“Simple.” Najero began.” It’s because I have no idea what this… this biped really wants from us. King or not, you know just as well as I do that this guy is more or less insane and far from normal, judging by the way he acts and behaves. Plus, I can’t really believe that someone would just randomly offer a bunch of street rats and thieves like us a place in the freaking palace.” He explained to her.

Nami just rolled her eyes. “Come on, you worry too much Naji. I mean, sure, he isn’t particularly what you can call normal, but he isn’t really that bad either. Plus, once again, just look around you.” She said while gesturing around their surroundings with a hoof. ”This is the most luxury and comfort we will most likely ever see if we continue to cause trouble. This is finally the chance that we have been waiting for; to finally stop living in the streets and to finally stop stealing and running away from the guards all the time. Isn’t this the break we always wanted?” she continued to push on, which in turn made her brother stop his pacing as he lowered his head and sighed.

“I know, I know. It’s just…” He began before looking over at her. ”I just want to protect you, and basically... being in a place filled with guards is just keeping my nerves on the edge, regardless.” He explained.

“Plus, I still don’t really trust this new ‘king’ much at all. Not just because of how unknown his species really is, but also because of just how erratic his behavior is, most of the time.” He quickly added, before making his way to the closest window to gaze out from.

The view of the entire north part of the city greeted him, with the large ziggurats towering above most buildings with great ease. A sight which he could previously only enjoy whenever he and his sister were camping on top of some of those large dunes outside the city.

Najero supposed that his sister was somewhat right. This sudden change of events really had lead them to the one thing that both of them have been dreaming about ever since they were foals: A chance to no longer live on the streets and to finally have a proper roof over their heads. Maybe he really should just accept this fortune for what it is and not worry too much. If not for his sake, then for hers.

“Hey Naj?” His sister suddenly called as a set of hoof steps began to come closer to him.

Nami gave her worried brother a gentle and caring nuzzle, which Najero had no choice but to return instinctively. He eventually began to smile at her once they broke off, which she happily returned in kind.

“Brother?”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Want to relax and cuddle a bit on our new king-sized bed? Better take advantage of that while we still can… plus, we are alone now too, sooo…” Nami began, but didn’t really need to say more on the matter as her brother already knew exactly what she was going to suggest.

He just nodded. “Sure. To be honest, I kind of need it, one way or another. Just to help me cope with all the stress and weirdness that has been happening around us lately.” He responded, which made Nami smile even more.

“Sweet!” She cheered before galloping back over to the bed before literally throwing herself on it with an audible thud.

Najero simply chuckled as he followed his sister’s example and casually made his way to the bed as well.

His sister was already laying on her back, with her legs spread wide and a seductive look on her muzzle.

………………………………………………………………………………………

“Habba habba.”

“No, no habba habba. Big Daddy has to go to work now. I mean, Rapture isn’t going to build itself now is it? Plus, Aku and Susi are never going to get off my back if I don’t get out of bed pretty soon.” I explained to the little dragon baby, as she was happily occupied her little playpen.

Well, not really little. More like a sizable playpen, since my room, or should I say “my chamber” is pretty large with nothing else really occupying this space too much. So I went ahead and ordered up an extra-large playpen for little Penelope to crawl around in freely.

Ahh yes, I called her that. Mostly because I was just thinking about King Odysseus of Ithaca and his 10 year long journey through bullshit after the the Trojan War. So the name of his supposed wife quickly came to mind and I immediately fell in love with that name.

Mostly because I couldn’t get it out of my head at that point, for completely different reasons.

Stupid Barbie movie.

But anyway, talking about Rapture here. I”m pretty much in the worst possible location for that concept to take root, that, or I will just have to wait for a few million years for that idea to finally be viable. But then again, my attention span isn’t really that long anyway, so I will most likely forget about it until then.

“Now what was I going to do again?” I thought to myself as I had lost my train of thought.

“Ah, yes… work time. Something I would rather have forgotten about altogether, to be honest.” I said with a snap of my fingers, which quickly got Penelo’s attention as she once again looked up at me with those big baby eyes of hers.

“Habba habba habba!” She babbled on in her baby language, which is quite adorable, I have to say.

“No. No habba habba today as I already mentioned. Both Chambika and Ashika are going to be babysitting you today while big ’ol me has to do a lot of king things to appease the masses. To not give them the idea of storming the palace with manure covered pitchforks and a badly singing Disney villain wannabe. Why am I telling you all of this? I have no idea. But at least it makes me feel smarter than I actually am in reality.” I explained to her, which in turn made her giggle.

I kind of like it, you know. Whenever I do something out of place or talk complete garbage, it always makes her happy somehow, which to be honest inclines me to just do this shit more often, just to see that.

But anyway, as if scripted, a knock on my front door got my attention as the voice of unnamed guard number 245 followed up afterwards.

“Your highness, the two babysitting servants are here.” He called through the thick wood.

I smiled at this. ”Perfect. Right on time. Bring them in.” I called back.
The door gradually opened before the two servant mares stepped in. They immediately bowed, which I waved off with a hand gesture, as I personally find this kowtowing a bit strange and uncomfortable. Especially knowing that these two managed to snatch up a relationship with two of my guards within the palace.

Which ones, you may ask? Well to be honest, I don’t know. And to be more brutal, I honestly don’t care either. I am certainly not going to TRY memorizing all of the faceless, helmeted guards within the entire city. That would just be a ridiculous feat in and of itself. I let my tablets handle that for me. Just snap some pics and add their names down below. Easy!

Also, it seems that both my phone AND my tablet have been charging nonstop, according to the battery indicators. But as long as they don’t explode, and they continue to function... I really don’t give a shit. But I will be needing my tablet a lot more often in the near future, simply because in it I have managed to hoard up all kinds of information about all kinds of ancient civilizations, their history, architecture, cultural equipment and even overall strategy and history of warfare and battle as well.

Why? I love history, that’s why. And thank God for it! Now I will be able to use all of that info to basically do the thinking for them which will leave me with a lot of free thinking space to just daydream and generally not really pay much attention for most of the time.

Because being the boss can be stressful. I should know, thanks to all the strategy games I’ve played.

“As requested, we have come to look after miss Penelope as usual, your Highness.” Ashika suddenly announced with gusto, which in turn removed me from my internal monologue.

I just like to do them sometimes, simply for fun and for the sake of distraction.

“*cough* *cough* Sheogorath! *cough”

“Your highness? Are you well?” Chambika asked with worry after I seemed to scare her with my random cough thing.

I waved her off.” Yes, yes. I am fine, no worries here.” I quickly replied before getting back on topic.

“Anyway, thanks, you two, for having volunteered to babysit her from the very beginning. I am sure that without your generosity finding another Zebra willing to watch over a baby fire breathing dragon would have been a bit more difficult than I would have liked.” I openly declared with a raised finger which in turn forced the two mares to look up at me with confusion.

“But, we didn’t openly volunteer, your highness. You openly chose the two of us after we pushed Lylo up in front.” She explained, which made my grin disappear for a moment.

“Oh yeah. I did do that, didn’t I?” I pretended to look and sound confused before my grin quickly return with full gusto.

“Yeah, but anyway.... Have fun trying to put out the fires that she may or may not set to my “königliche gemächer”. Fire extinguisher is somewhere behind the toilet.” I casually pointed out, before making my way to the door to leave the two mares with their duty.

I could hear one of them gulp nervously after I exited my chamber and stepped out into the “oh so confusing” halls of the Royal Palace.

That’s when a new challenger stepped in. ”Greetings, your highness. Are you prepared for your first day in court?” Susi suddenly materialized from behind, which almost scared the living bejesus out of me. Almost.

That or I was just too busy monologuing, once again. Look! I am doing it again! Note to self: only monologue when bored.

“Well, yes and no.” I simply replied as I started to walk down the corridor.

Susi just nods before her gaze switches over to the familiar looking red and black attire that I am wearing at the moment.

“Well, I see you are once again wearing the... regular clothes in which you came to our lands. Are the robes made by our top tailor not to your liking?” Susi asked while keeping pace with me as we rounded a corner.

I momentarily look down at myself before focusing back on the path ahead of us. ”Well, the robes are nice, but nothing really beats a good set of Pajamas in the comfort category.” I answered as we kept on walking, passing by the same set of guards like always.

Susi just nods. “I see. Well, if you want, we can order the palace tailor to make copies of your… uh… ‘pajamas’ if you prefer them so much.” She suggested. Unbeknown to her, I’m already WAY ahead of her with this one.

“Already did that.” I responded as we rounded another corner.

“Oh! ok. Then… excuse me for my unnecessary suggestion then.” She apologized, which I waved off as not needed, before Susi seemed to realize something.

“Wait a minute, this isn’t the way to the throne room. Why are we going this direction?” she asked.

I simply kept on going while answering her. “Easy.” I began. “One, I have no idea where this ‘Throne Room thingy whatchamacallit is actually located, and TWO I am going this way because I wanted to give Nami and Najero a little friendly visit in their dedicated chamber, to see how they are coping. IF they are still there, that is. They could easily be doing their shenanigans again, like yesterday before the guard managed to corner them and herd them back into the room I openly gave them. Doesn’t matter either way, to be honest, as they are free to stay and leave whenever they see fit. Though the guards seem to think otherwise.” I explained as we finally reached a hall that was lined with lots of doors, each of them leading into a guest room, if you take the time and effort to even poke your head in.

Normally at this time of the day I would be heading to the kitchen to get my most important drink of the day, but thanks to the ever so vigilant mindset of these Zebra servants I don’t even have to get out of bed any more to stain my shirt with the blackness of pure caffeine. Now I can do it in bed while also staining the bright white bed sheets as well.

Those guys working in the washrooms are so going to curse their vigilance.

What was I talking about again? Ah yes…go visiting the two fuckers to see if they have finally decided that running away is just going to get everyone exhausted and then will lead to their recapture.

Or maybe I should just let these two go, for them to do whatever? Nah, I mean someone has to pick up the responsibility of birth control. The last thing I want to deal with is yet another fire breathing infant within the Palace, and if I know anything about the possible backfires that incest can produce then I am sure a fire breathing zebra would not be out of the question.

Especially since this world loves to function with cartoon logic at times.

I am far from taking any chances, especially with my free time on the line.

“Um…we already passed the guest wing of the Palace.” Susi suddenly piped up.

I stopped almost immediately. “Wait, we did?” I queried while moving my eyes left and right.

I have a feeling that this constant zoning out is eventually going to be the death of me.

I can see myself face planting on a wall already.

“Well then, let’s turn around and head back.” I declared with confidence as I did just that, only for my enthusiasm to drop somewhat as I quickly noticed that I have no idea where we are.

I mostly blame the architect of this place.

Susi, on the other hand, just chuckled as she moved ahead in front of me. “Well, luckily I pretty much know the layout of the palace like the back of my hoof. Just follow me.” She declared, and I can swear that I even noticed her smirk smugly for just a split second.

“Oh, already getting clever with me, are you? Well in that case, I will just have to crank my nonsense up to eleven.” I mentally noted while following her.

Thank God that she is actually one of the more DECENT minded mares I am forced to be around with. Her tail was actually a tail and not straight up cut short or overly styled to the point where it basically makes bunny tail seems more acceptable. But then again, it could also be just a cultural difference, same with the Japs and their under aged Hentai shit.

Which I avoided like the plague. Seriously. no joke this time… which is rare.

“I do believe this is their room!” Susi exclaimed as we eventually stopped in front of a door.

“Oh, ya think?” I announced sarcastically while gesturing at the two guards stationed in front of it. Who were bowing, by the way.

Susi just ignored my comment as she immediately went to address the two bucket heads. They got off their bow and nodded before stepping away to the side to allow us entry.

That’s when a sudden sense of déjà vu rushed through my senses. But I ignored it as I was more excited to give the two siblings a surprise greeting.

“Well, let’s just see if the two are happy with their living style upgrade. Street fuckery is no way to live, after all.” I casually declared as one simply opened the door without remembering to knock first.

Not that I ever bothered to do so back in my world.

I open the door with full enthusiasm... though that enthusiasm quickly dropped as I finally got my answer for my sense of déjà vu.

“TALK ABOUT FUCKERY!!!” I shouted which in turn caused the three Zebra’s behind me to dare a peek, only for all three to instinctively look away at what they were seeing.

I couldn’t believe this shit. “NAJI, YOU DISHONORABLE AND LAZY BASTARD. YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN FORCING YOUR SISTER TO DO MOST OF THE WORK FOR YOU WHILE YOU JUST WATCH HER LIKE AN OVER OBSESSED PAPARAZZI. AT LEAST DO SOME WORK TOO.” I chided which forced both of them to immediately stop what they were doing and look at me with wide and shocked eyes.

“Wha-what the… how is it possible for you to just show up or be there at the worst possible moments?!” Naji complained after his shock wore off.

I just shook my head while holding a frown. ”More like the best time, THIS IS NOT HOW YOU FIX UP BED SHEETS AFTER USE. YOU DON’T FOLD THEM LIKE THAT.” I pointed out as they were indeed in the middle of trying to fix up the sheets as best they could.
I was taught very early to properly make my bed, so I can get a bit OCD when I see a bed not properly made.

What? You think I somehow managed to ONCE AGAIN catch them in the middle of their act for the second time? Oh, thank god NO, because from THIS angle I would have been able to see EVERYTHING, unlike the first time. A scene I want to avoid at all cost just for the sake of not losing my innocence anytime soon.

Well, any I still have left, that is…

It’s already bad enough that I was forced to gaze upon Nami bent over position, which was the main reason why the other three behind me were so quick in looking away.

Just let your goddamn tail grow, girl! How can this be socially acceptable? Even if everybody else here runs around nude for the most part.

At least with FKK back in the DDR, EVERYBODY was openly exposed and not just a selected few.

I am mentally rambling again, aren’t I?

“Anyway, let me show you two how it’s do-” I tried to suggest before out of nowhere a new challenger appeared. That Challenger was none other than one of the two servants I left with Penelo, and she looked rather out of breath and somewhat panicky as well.

I wonder why.

“You… your highness…” She began, before sliding to a hold. Which didn’t work that well, simply because the janitors who are in charge of this section of the Palace did a damn good job in waxing the marble tiles and mosaic flooring.

I didn’t even bother to turn my gaze away from the two still-frozen siblings as I heard a loud thud and an “ow” coming from behind me. Something I should have done If I wasn’t so busy on gazing on Nami’s, “Full moon.”

That girl is going to need a chastity belt if she refuses to properly grow her tail.

I just licked the insides of my teeth as I finally made the effort to turn myself around to greet the newcomer and to find out what exactly got her jimmies rustled.

She was still in the process of getting back up and rubbing the sore spot where she’d made contact first with that pillar over there. But she soon found her footing -or hoofing, to be precise- as she quickly bowed respectfully at me the moment she managed to clear her dazed mind.

I gave her the hand sign that it really wasn’t necessary, which in turned caused her to go into panic mode once more.

Seriously though! Chill, girl. It’s early in the morning and the day has just begun. What can possibly so urgent for you to act so….

“Your highness, your room is on FIRE!!!” She shouted which in turn caused everyone to freeze up for a moment.

Ironic, I know, given the “hot” topic.

I was more confused though then shocked. “Huh… how in the hell did that happen?” I automatically asked before it quickly dawned on me.

“Wait…Penelope, am I right?” I queried out loud, which in turn caused
Ashika to nod furiously. I think it is Ashika, because both her and Chambika do kind of look similar to one another in a lot of aspects and features.

Maybe they are actually sisters? I don’t know. You can only have so many black and white patterns before it just starts to all blend in. At least they all tend to have different hair and eye colors though, otherwise I am going to need my glasses after all.

I just scratched my head.

Now why am I not panicking at the news, you may ask? Well, simple. For starters, I know for a fact that dragons have a natural resistance to fire, so Penelope should still be safe and sound. As for my room, well… this is a freaking place. If one of the rooms gets unfortunately ruined by a living flame thrower who suffers from the hiccups then all I really have to do is to just pick another one to sleep in. I mean really, this place has more rooms than a downtown hospital. Plus it’s not like I am bleeding out of money either. I can easily raze this entire city and then have it be re-constructed from the ground up with all that Gels I have safely stored away in the underground robber’s den below the Palace.

So really, just go grab a bucket of water and it should be…

That’s when it hit me.

“SHIT… ALL MY STUFF IS IN THERE, INCLUDING MY PHONE, TABLET, NOT TO MENTION MY NOVELTY CUP TOO!!!” I screamed as I too got grabbed with the heeby-jeebies.

“You two did pick up the aforementioned fire extinguisher I pointed out this morning did you?” I questioned quickly.

She just looked confused for a moment which I immediately picked up as a sign that the two most certainly did not and just probably ran out in panic to look for help instead.

How can you fail so hard? But then again, the aforementioned fire extinguisher was just a silver bucket of water so I doubt it would have really helped much if the flames were too intense.

Heeby-jeebies intensified! “FUCK! MY STUFF! Penelope too, but still… MY STUFF!!!” I screamed before dashing off to the direction of the royal chambers like a madman.

Pretty accurate elaboration, I might add.

Both Susi and… the servant quickly followed, accompanied by the two guards as well, who I swiftly halted like the two dumbasses they are. “Oh, no. You two will not mess this up. Be sensible and keep an eye on the two siblings. This place has no shortage of guards to run after me. So just stay here.” I commanded, which thankfully did the trick in stopping them.

“Also make sure to help them make the bed as well.” I quickly added.

With that out of the way I continued my run through the halls as fast as I could. I paid a lot of money for those items after all.

Now you may be wondering: How the HELL is it possible for me to find my way back to my room even though I almost managed to get myself lost when I was first trying to make my way to both Naji and Nami’s fancy prison? Well… just follow the smoke trail and the distant sound of panicked individuals. Which I am one of for completely different reasons.

I could already see the flickers of fire coming from the smoking entrance of my room at the end of the hall the moment I turned the corner. What I saw was quite predictable, a whole bunch of zebras passing buckets of water to one another and a certain servant standing off the side like a bystander with Penelope still happily jabbering on her back.

Well, at least Penelope is safe. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY STUFF?

Also the baby savior of the day quickly revealed themselves to be one of the two nannies that I left behind to look after the dragon infant, whose names I still cannot differentiate because of their clone-like appearance.

These two are most likely twins, I am sure.

“Oh… your… your highness! I am so, so sorry for what happened to your…” She tried to desperately apologize before I quickly interrupted with a hand wave while trying to catch my breath.

I am a couch potato, after all. Stamina is something I was sadly not born with.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But… please, tell me that you at least saved both my Phone and Tablet that were literally just sitting on my nightstand next to the bed?” I question, in between breaths.

She just nods before pointing a hoof at a small pile of things to our right, three of which I immediately recognize as both my Phone and Tablet and -my most important item- the novelty mug I got from a Korean store. The one with the derp face.

I was relieved beyond belief to know that at least someone has a brain that doesn’t shut down when things... “heat up”. That tablet is essential, especially since I most likely don’t have the internet anymore.

I haven’t bothered to check yet, but I am sure that the Wifi bar is going to keep itself blank for the foreseeable future, which is ok, I guess, as I no longer have to constantly wipe my browsers history every once in a while. That quickly turned out to be a hassle with my cousins living under the same roof as me.

Wonder if they already noticed that I got warped to another plane of existence? Eh. Probably not. Those Barkada trips do tend to last for a couple of weeks whenever they are organized… or disorganized, to be more precise, if Alan and Jack are the ones planning it… which they usually are. So in that case I at least have a week or two before someone finally notices that the house is empty and clean.

Anyway, back on topic.

With those self-monologues done I immediately made my way to the pile of junk that Ashika or Chambika had the intelligence level to save before the flames got out of control.

I still don’t really know how in the hell the fire even began in the first place. But I can still ask either of these two later AFTER I have made sure that nothing in this pile is amiss.

I nod to myself as everything seems to be ok and undamaged. My cousins once broke the LCD connector on my Tablet when he dropped it. So I already know how frustrating it is when basically the main section for control on a tablet is suddenly not working.

What does this have to do with anything? I don’t know. I am just happy that my tablet is undamaged and that I don’t have to rely on my shitty memory to recite all the information I have hoarded inside its dingy 16gb SD card ever since I bought it.

What’s inside of it? Well, information of course, and totally not porn. If it was porn I would have dug deeper into both my -and my cousin’s- wallet and bought a 64gb SD card instead of just a 16gb. But I wasn’t flustered enough at the time, so I didn’t really thought that far ahead.

Mostly because I wasn’t really the one who bought the SD in the first place. I actually sent my cousin while I was busy losing the rest of my money in a local arcade.

Funny how in the late 2010s arcades are still a thing. But then again, if you can’t find it in the west then you would most likely find it in Asia because Asians are just that crazy and childish.

Look who's talking.

“Um… your… highness?” I heard one of the Servants behind me say, which got me right back to the present.

Yeah, I seem to like zoning out a lot, something that any casual observer would easily notice.

“What?” I coolly asked while turning my head to look at its source. It was Susi, this time.

“How can you still be so absent minded in a disaster such as this? I mean… your ROOM is burning down as we speak!” Susi asked, obviously completely confused as to how a normal individual can act so casual about a situation comparable to someone being forced to watch their home burn.

That’s the problem. I am FAR from normal, but there is also a much more logical reason as to why I am feeling so casual about it.

“Simple.” I began as I crabbed both my tablet, phone and my trusty mug as well before getting back up. ”I’ll just pick another.” I announced with a grin, before I started to make my way over to Penelo who immediately started to reach for me while blabbering on.

“This Palace has a ton of rooms already, so all I have to do is pick the one with the most panoramic view of the city below us and then we can pretend that this fire never even happened in the first place.” I explained to them while I used my free hand to scoop up Penelo from the mare’s back.

She immediately started to continue with her Habbas and Daddas while sometimes flailing her stubby little baby arms at the blazing inferno in front of us.

I just smiled at her. ”Yes, yes you did that, Penelo. You did that.” I cooed which also made her smile bigger. “Daddy is very proud of you, in a way. Just imagine the REAL damage you can do once you get just a little bit bigger. Those enemies of the state will think twice before ever ruining my weekends with their bullshitery.” I quickly added which in turn made her giggle happily.

It’s a good thing that this place is mostly made out of either sandstone or marble with the only flammable material being either furniture or decorations, otherwise this fire would really be a problem.

“Anyway, while this poor room is going to get deleted by uncontrollable burps, hiccups or whatever else. Let’s go and see what Uncle Bakuss is doing with all that Zaster he personally hoarded from my personal hoard… that hoarder.” I told her before simply marching off from the still raging inferno as if nothing had happened.

“Actually… it was her sneeze that caused the fire in the first place… your highness.” The mare with the brain called out from behind, sounding both confused and nervous at the same time.

My grin just widened. “The Sneeze of Doom. It’s PERFECT.” I declared as kept on my march.

“But… but your highness, you… ugh. Wai-wait up!” Susi called out, more than a bit frustrated, before she started to chase after me.

Who knew that a first day on the job can be so… eventful? If I knew that I would have bothered to get myself a job back in my world long ago. But alas it was not to be, especially since I practically got the best paying job now, one that would even making Donald Trump turn his blond head.

“But anyway, I guess today is ‘bring your dragon daughter to work’ day. Since it seems like you are going to be sticking with me for the rest of the day. And maybe -just maybe- help put some fire on those city guards I am planning to have a closer look today.” I cooed to her as I was already looking forward to the many things I can do to confuse these guards… while trying to make them more competent, naturally. That’s what my tablet is for, of course.

“I just hope Bakuss is able to read, because I am not going to be dictating everything for him. Too lazy for that.”

And with that I was off to be the best -or the worst- Monkey I could be. One thing was for sure, antics and confusion included. Living the dream of being in a cartoon world is the best thing that ever happened to me… right next to that girl’s changing room accident back in high school.

Wer hätte gedacht dass man so früh reif kann? Was für titten.

Chapter 9: The Problem Has Horns and Dinky Little Tails?

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 10: Already Have to play Chess for the Big Boys?

Chapter 10: Already have to play Chess for the big boys?

Edited by: Rainbowblitz

“So, obviously now there are factions out in the world that want to get rid of me. I thought this place doesn’t have any News networks or Internet?” I asked out loud while trying to find a comfortable spot on my new oversized bronze throne with three Lion heads on it. Two on each side and one BIG one right on top of the royal fart cushion/silencer.

“Well you did announce you present and purpose to a big public audience a while back. There were a lot of other races present on that day then just the Citizens of this city.” Susi answered while watching me moving and rolling all over the damn throne sit.

This thing needs more pillows in my opinion.

Funny how I so casually try to make myself comfortable on this new seat of mine that looks like something belonging to Zeus and not a puny mortal. It also doesn’t help that I was also literally sitting in the most open ended area in the entire fucking Palace.

The throne room, which I also like to call “column city”. Why? Well have you ever seen or heard about the palace of Persepolis in one of the dozens of documentaries out there, and have you ever heard about the high king’s throne room there as well?

Well long story short, this is exactly what MY throne room looks like too. Only taller, wider and with a long open strip of missing ceiling above the walkway that leads up towards the throne, letting needed sunlight in during the day and star light at night. Aaaand any sharpshooting assassin butt stabbers as well, brilliant, not to mention the huge fucking windows on each side of the grand hall as well, but then again those aren’t really important.

If any Ass-sassy wants to get in through those then he or she will be forced to do a lot of noise while doing so. Giving everybody enough time to react and for me to hid behind Susi for protection.

Bakuss did insured me that the roof above the throne hall is patrolled by Palace guard but to be honest I wouldn’t entrust my life more with these clowns then I would with Penelope instead. You can’t beat a flamethrower after all, except for the BFG 9000 which I honestly wish was in my possession right about now…Or on second thought maybe not for EVERYBODY'S sake.

I might miss and then blow up one halve of the Palace with one shot. Not to mention of the many food storages and kitchens as well. Never really enjoyed the thought of wasting food like that, especially cheese.

I was about to give up on my attempt in trying to find a comfortable spot on this bronze throne when suddenly a new challenger appears.

It was a Palace guard, galloping towards us from the throne hall entrance. She stopped right at the foot of the throne before bowing.

“Your highness. We have managed to capture the two culprits responsible for the assassination attack earlier. They are being hauled and kept deep within the Palace dungeons as we speak.” She informed which in turn just made me smile for a completely different reason.

Can’t help but find the concept of mares being part of my army rather cute, giving their size and more slender design and what not. Pussy in a can is what I like to call it, makes you wanna grab a can opener from the kitchen and get down on that teasing pile of food container.

Not me, because bestiality is NOT my fetish. Well…for the foreseeable future at least.

Susi perked up at that. “Really now, was there any difficulty?” Susi asked, basically doing the talking for me.

This can be both good and bad at the same time. Can’t tell jokes and confuse people's anymore if Susi steals my need to speak all the time, plus I doubt Susi is any good at the arts of joshing knowing her background.

The female guard nods her head. “Kind of, luckily it was the more seasoned members of the guards who found and subdued them. Besides a few bruises and even a burn mark thanks to the one with the gem on her head, nothing too serious to report.” She reported.

I just blew a raspberry. “Well of course, if it were any of the more run in the mill guard they would have most likely gotten themselves PAWN NOOB or something.” I commented while laying myself horizontal on my throne which…actually works well.

There was no retort or comeback comment from either of these two, probably because that my statement was somewhat true, even in their eyes. I know it’s somewhat harsh and unfair to criticize the larger majority of guards out there. But really, a problem can only be addressed if you acknowledge the problem in the first place. In this case, drill these motherfuckers so hard until it comes back out of their mouth…and then reverse it the other way.

Sex jokes make everything better and makes everything with kids angry. Why. Because old school parents are like robots. They can’t take jokes.

I just clapped my hands. “Well then, let’s go meet our wanna be Hitman’s then shall we? No need to keep our wonderful guests waiting after all” I declared before hopping off my throne.

Susi didn’t seemed very supportive with my idea. “Do I still have to remind you that these two just tried to kill you?” She reminded before following me.

I just waved it off. “So, which is why I want to personally see them myself. Get face to face with these brownies and to maybe find out WHY they are after my very hide and who sent them. Maybe we can come up to terms with something without having to send these two off into one of those nasty back alleyway businesses that exist in some shanty parts of the city. All tied up of course.” I explained.

Either they will say that such a fate is worse than death…or the greatest thing to ever happen in their young and dinky tail lives. Depends on them.

The nameless guard quickly followed as well before leaving the throne hall.

Right at the portal I stopped and turned my attention to the newcomer. “Well lead the way then. I certainly don’t know where north and south is in this place.” I gestured, in which she just nods before doing just that.

I am still convinced that if I ever dare to explore this place own my own and walk down some unknown corner never seen before corner of this maze, then I would certainly find either the lost city of Atlantis or El Dorado…or maybe a portal to the Land of Oz.

The last one would certainly be interesting simply because it would give me the chance to find the Emerald city, conquer it and then deconstruct it to get my hand on all of that shiny emeralds for Penelope to feast on. Because apparently dragons eat gems in this world according to one of her caretakers.

The grand wizard can kiss my ass because I know that he isn’t a wizard. Just a smart ass with a lot of mirrors, fireworks and a voice synthesizer. And what about the wicked witch? Well just go ahead and spit in her face and watch her wax melt off her skin. Spit had traces of water as well after all. Only much more disgusting.

Anyway, a lot of turning and passing by later we finally made it down into the Palace dungeons. A place where the electric bills were totally ignored in favor of IMMERSION.

This place is so moody it would make the mind of an Emo kid look more enthusiastic, or a realistic lightning mod for Skyrim where shit just gets too dark to see. Thankfully one of the guards guarding the front gate followed us inside with a torch, which meant…nothing too be honest.

Still moody as fuck.

The prison was exactly…how you would imagine a prison from this particular time period would look like. Iron bars, rough stone walls, Rats, that kind of Jazz.

Apparently these two Gazelles were stuffed much deeper into the prison then I imagined. Passing by a quiet number of cells on our way that where either empty or held you’re a simple wanna be burglar and criminal inside of them. Either way the trip didn’t last long, and after ascending some steep stepped we finally arrived at the cell housing the to two horny assassins inside of it.

I say horny because Gazelle have horns and apparently so do they, which is weird because being horny is normally only a Stag thing the last time I checked. Doe’s shouldn’t have horns but then again this is magical fantasy land with fairies and miniature talking everything.

Even more intriguing was the blue colored gem that of them had imbedded into the front of its skull which was either jammed in there at a later time, glued on or actually in born. If it is the later then it certainly is time for me…FOR Susi to investigate further. Because this could be interesting.

Or I can just ask her after she stopped glaring at me. Which I doubted would be anytime soon.

Time to work my charm and abuse my powers.

“Well here we are, these two are the culprits who tried to take your life your highness. Don’t get to close because those magic cancelling bars only work one way.” The female guard informed, which I guess, is useful to know.

The gem less doe immediately perked up after that. “But…but we didn’t. I already told you multiple times that we didn’t do anything. We weren’t even trying to kill him. It was more of a kidnapping than anything else. I swear.” She pleaded, looking and sounding quiet desperate.

The mare guard didn’t looked too pleased. “And I already told you that I am not buying into your lies. The timing and you're intruding presence within the Palace just speak against you. Not to mention your ‘sister's’ ability of range magic.” She accused.

She didn’t budge though as she was about to say something when her “Sister” stopped her. “Would you stop already? This is obviously not going to click with them and frankly, even if it does then we are still going to be stuck in her for attempted assault. We are prisoners either way.” She explained before just sitting down and ignoring all of us by turning away.

A moody one isn’t she. Maybe I should give her some cheese. That would certainly brightened the mood…for me at least *troll face*.

Since neither of my companions were in any level of open-mindedness I simply decided to step up and talk to the not moody one myself.

This immediately got the not moody one's attention. “You say that neither you nor your other half had no involvements or plans regarding what happened this morning? Why should your saying be true or panicky one?” I question, doing my best Arthur impression from “quest of the holy grail”

Why that Arthur? Because the other Arthur is too serious for my tastes.

She kept her position though, knowing that if she stood up or even dares to move closer to me, imprisonment would be the least of her worries judging by the readiness of the guards around me.

She stayed seated. “Well because me and my sister here were in a completely different area within the palace when this…assassination happened somewhere outside. We couldn’t have attempted the assassination, simple because the two of us were in a completely different area of the Palace.” She explained again.

She did had a point there after all. The attack did came from north wing of the Palace and if my sense of directions where to be trusted then the hallways these two would have come from after we bumped into each other was actually from the complete opposite direction. The hallway that lead to the south wing to be precise.

“Quite a good alibi.” I thought to myself while stroking my chin and puckering my lips.

Well, that changes everything I guess.

“Guards. Let the not moody one out.” I casually ordered which got everyone by surprise. Even the moody one.

“Wai-wait…what?” Everybody exclaimed in sync.

I just nod. “You heard me right, release the gem-less one. I wish to talk to her in a more…less shitty environment. I mean really, I think a total a 3 rats already ran past me ever since we got here. Absolutely disgusting.” I frowned at the end, even more so when I did spot another rodent just momentarily appear in the corner of my eye.

I have no interest in contributing to another Black Death. Let someone else do that.

The female guard was the first to recover after she shook her head. She looked up at me. “Your highness…with all due respect, I think that order of yours is…founded in really foolish ideas.” She announced in a total calm and respective tone.

Well this is knew, never knew you could insult someone so…respectfully. Could have almost been my idea if miss unnamed guard didn’t showed it first.

I really should start learning the names of underlings…if I ever feel like it that is.

I just crossed my arms behind my back and smile. “I know, you must be new here.” I exclaimed. “If you knew me then you would know that I am ALL about foolish, silly and downright nonsensical ideas. Not just for the sake of entertainment but also to keep everyone, especially my enemies constantly guessing and in a state of confusion.” I finished with a raised finger.

Everybody just looked at me from, even the moody one as she bothered to lift her head and gaze up over her shoulder. The only one who isn’t particularly surprised is of course Susi. She already seems to get or understand my erratic nature.

Good for her I guess because I can easily find other ways, a lot of other ways to also keep her on her toes, or in this case tippy hooves.

The guard still looked unconvinced unsurprisingly. “Even if that is the case. My duty is to guard you and keep you safe from all harm’s way, even if I have to endanger my own life to do so. Therefore I am sorry to say that I am not approving of your decision in letting one of these Gazelles out from their cell. The risk outweigh the benefits.” She exclaimed, looking and sounding quiet determined in her believe.

Noble, touching, inspiring but such a joy kill nonetheless.

I crossed my arms once more before leaning forward. “If that is your agenda then where the heck have you been when the attack actually happened?” I pressed on, unnecessary but still giving me the result that I was looking.

She flinch a bit back, her eyes widening for a moment before returning to their previous stoic look. “I…I was actually part of the training you and your captain conducted with us before the attack. I was personally in one of the most rear end ranks to be honest.” She explained while keeping herself tall.

I just scratched my chin at that. “Ok, well she does seem to know what to say then.” I thought.

“By the way, what is your name anyway?” I ask which again caused her eyes to momentarily blink.

She kept steady. “Sergeant Liuanda of the third companions. Your highness.” She answered.

I nod before smiling. “Well then Liuanda, would you then be so kind and tell that one guy behind you to open the cell door? I still wish to take ‘not moody one’ with me for some personal coffee and biscuits.” I asked once more.

She just shook her head. “No can do your highness, as I said your safety is more important, if you want, we can just continue with the interrogation for you.” She continued to resist which was both commendable and somewhat of a buzz kill.

“Well in that case the safety of the entire STATE is in risk here, and judging by the fact that neither you, nor anyone else has the patience and state of mind to get any info out of these horns, then I guess it shall fall onto me to do the Job, because unlike you a lot, I at least have coffee and biscuits to offer.” I announced politely with a raised finger, before getting serious.

“That, and I am your fucking king so let the not moody one out so that I can finally have the aforementioned Coffee and biscuits. Its past snack hour as it is.” I ordered this time which again caused a momentary glitch in her system.

She was obviously still unsure about all of this but in the end she just sighed. She knew that she can’t openly reject a direct order from her king, self believes and what not. So that’s how being bossy feels like then? Those teachers back during my school days might have actually be onto something. Especially Mister Herberg my fucking gym teacher during high school.

She turned over to guard and gave him a nod. He returned the gesture before pulling out a key from a satchel with his hoof. Again, no idea how it works but also again, I don’t care. Conveniences are conveniences and should not be questions.

“Wait a second.” Liuanda raised a hoof which in turn caused the guard to pause. She suddenly pulled out a small crystal thing out of her own satchel, very rough and wide in nature. No idea what it is or for what it's for but I am sure she is going to openly announce it either way without anyone needing to ask.

The moody mare thought looked especially dreadful at the thing at Liuanda’s hoof.

“If anyone ask or doesn’t know. This right here is a nethicite, a unique and rare type of crystal with very effective anti-magic properties. Any magic user nearby on a certain perimeter will be unable to use any kind of magic or spell as his or her mana just gets automatically attracted and absorbed by the crystal. Basically a magic magnet/sponge.” She explained out loud before giving the guard another nod.

“Nethicite? Have I heard of that name before?” I mentally wondered as I watched the guard open the cell door.

“Well you heard the king. You are free to come out and will be escorted with him wherever he wants to take you.” The still nameless guard instructed towards the doe in question.

She of course looked hesitant and nervous. On the other hand her other half in comparison looked more ready for an actual fight as she immediately stood up with her gem glowing in sync with the markings on her horns.

This though didn’t go unnoticed by Miss Liuandas keen focus as she immediately presented the familiar sounding crystal towards her direction. “I wouldn’t even bother if I were you. I know that you know what this crystal is, so how about you stay away from her and the door and keep low. Otherwise whatever magic you have still in you will be sapped out of you.” She threatened.

The message was reached, especially after the crystal suddenly began to blink for just a moment. The aggressive Doe though sighed in defeat but not without giving Lui a death glare before lowering herself.

“Still feel like that this name is somehow ringing some distant bells inside of me.” I continued my thought as both the guard was stepping in to fish out the non aggressive doe and Susi stepped up behind Lui.

“May I require where in the god's name have you gotten you hoof on such a rare stone? As far as I know, these magic negating minerals are only native to the Bronze Canyons far down in the south west.” Susi questioned while looking down at the stone.

Lui kept her attention fixed on the cell as she answered. “Old family heirloom lady Susara and a gift to my grandfather by a local tribe member that resides closely to the aforementioned canyons when he used to work there. Got gifted to him after he saved the Zebra’s life after a major mining accident by tending his wounds and personally carrying him back to a more experienced shaman. Since then, the nethicite has been with our family ever since.” She explained.

Susi nods as the entire thing continued.

The doe I picked eventually complied as she moved out of her cell.

“Do anything provided as hostile or uncooperative and you will meet the end of my Blade. Do I make myself clear?” Lui threatened which didn’t really help the doe’s nervousness.

“Ah just let her. The way she is acting I doubt that she is really going to be doing anything.” I assured her which in turn gave me a sideways glance from her.

“How would you know that?” She asked while keeping her eye’s on both of them.

I smiled. “Cousins, have lots of them back from where I come from and when I mean a lot, I mean A LOT.” I pointed out verbally. “One of them actually was quite similar to the none moody one over, I say ‘was’ because now she is in high school and such characteristics are being stumped out in such a dreadful place rather quickly.” I explained.

She just nods, probably not really getting the whole “high school” part, as the doe finally took her position next to her and the other nameless guard that I don’t know. Just like 99% of the guards here.

She kept quiet, staring down at the floor and avoiding everyone else. A typical reaction for such a typical behavior. I am defiantly wasting time now aren’t I? But then again, time has already started to be wasted the moment it even came into existence. So really, what I am doing to my own time on a day to day bases is really nothing new or unique in a universal scale.

Just look at E.T for example, wasting his time bonding with a human child instead in finding a way back home. Or how Anakin was wasting his time in pursuing a woman that is way older then him (that creep) only to almost choke her to death later and throwing away everything he had accomplished prior all because of him drinking his sorrow away after his mom bit the sand.

See, we are all wasting our time one way or another.

“Uhm…your highness?” Susi suddenly tapped me on the chin.

I blinked before looking around and seeing almost everyone (except for the timid doe) looking at me questionably. I mean the two guards still look as stoic as ever but I know for a fact that they are just as confused and curious as the high priestess next to me.

Come to think of it, I really haven’t seen her do or act very religiously ever since I met her. Huh. Wonder what she does when I am not looking.

I scratched my head. “Sorry did I missed something.” I questioned almost automatically.

Susi nods. “Well…no. Just that Luianda just announced that we can depart whenever you want too.” She explained which in turn made me hum in satisfaction.

I clapped my hands. “Perfect, lets then get out of this dark hole and finally get back up to the surface for some coffee and biscuits. Oh and of course have little friendly chat with our guest, slash, prisoner who is being framed for attempted murder on a capital level which can or cannot lead to a public executions.” I rambled in one breath which, in turn, caused the does attention to spike as she looked up at me with side eyes.

I just grinned before leading the way out of this prison hole with a new addition in tow.

I think sprucing up this prison with some flowers would certainly do wonders. I mean sure, prettying up a prison would totally defeat the purpose of a prison being a place for punishments, guilt, sorrow, and crappy plumbing. But who cares, I’m the king, if I want to feminize my own prisons then who the fuck can tell me otherwise? Certainly not the prisoners.

I think I shall call this added project, “Prison Nation Feminization”. Just another thing to add on the ever growing list of things to add.

The life of a king is very hard, not to mention dangerous to your health as well. Assassination and French style food with WAY too much butter in them.

“Uhm…your highness. The royal dining room is that way.” Susi pointed out the moment we left the dungeon.

My enthusiasm shattered, once more pulled back down into the realms of reality. Like still having no idea where to go and where generally everything is in this place.

I pressed my lips together before turning to Susana. “Well then Susi, why don’t YOU lead the way while I follow. Very close behind. In case of more assassass or trespassers.” I gestured.

She didn’t respond as she did just that, leading me and my new set of luggage back to an area of the Palace which I have only visited once if memory serves me well. Why? Because of my laziness and the actual distance it would take for me to walk three times in a day just so I can eat.

The kitchens themselves are actually closer toward my room then the dining room is in comparisons. A whole extra door further, just imagine the distance.

No really, the distance between these two rooms is the same as the length of my whole house. A ridiculous realization when you think about it.

“May I acquire what these biscuits are your highness?” Luianda suddenly ask midway through.

A question that brought in one important realization to mind. “Wait, do they even have biscuits in this world?”

Short answer is…they didn’t.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I was right, these Zebra don’t have or even know what biscuits are. Which is a shame as I was really in the mood for some this late afternoon. Though they do have these chocolate encased Dates which I guess work just as well with Coffee as biscuits would have. So not all hope is lost in the end.

Again, it’s better than nothing while also ordering some gems from the national vault for Penelope to chew on. Talk about being the most expensive food in the world, go throw your truffles at a local back alley hobo you delicacies dealers because my adoptive daughter is literally eating gems for dinner. Gem stone the size of baseballs no less. Basically eating someone’s yearly salary in a daily bases.

Talk about eating money, but then again according to Susi, gemstone of this kind aren’t actually not as uncommon as someone would think. They are still not so common to make them completely worthless, but at the same time they aren’t particularly rare either. Just need to know where to look and you should be able to find a couple of them rather easily.

Besides that, the whole coffee and…NOT biscuits break turned out to be a total success. Penelope is quietly sitting beside me and munching on some minerals while I was enjoying a good mug of coffee and some…NOT biscuits, and Ms. Not moody was sitting all awkwardly on the opposite end of the table with two guards closely flanking her from both sides.

I was feeling a bit insulted to be honest, mostly because of the fact that she hasn’t touched or even attempted to both try out her coffee or her NOT biscuits she was provided with. Talk about a lack of enthusiasm towards your “Gastgeber”. This was supposed be a interiga-CHAT with some Coffee and biscuits in mind. Which is not happening at this moment.

What where are the table manners? If I was British I would seriously feel offended, but since I am not I couldn’t possibly give less of a shit…almost.

“So, do you feel comfortable enough to eat and talk now…or should I already order my 3rd mug before this chat can even start?” I asked out loud before taking another zip.

Her head rose almost immediately afterwards as she looked at me and stuttered.” Bu-but…you haven’t told me or even ask me anything ever since we got here.” She clarified, which may or may not be out of fear or just an unhealthy dose of shyness on her part.

I know what she feels but I laid out the question anyway. Why? Just for the sake of wasting time.

But besides that she was more or less correct. I really haven’t ask or giving her much attention or general direction to go with ever since we got seated. That and one of the servants came in with Penelope on her to seat her down right beside me afterwards.

I guess a large part of that was Penelope’s fault as she immediately began to babble something to me which in turn ended up being just another set of undecipherable nonsense to me. Just like pretty much every time she tries to talk to me, or everyone else.

To be honest, I could listen to that baby talk of hers all day, even more so when watching her nipple on those Microsoft paint minerals.

But then again, there are a lot of things that make me listen or watch something all day just to escape the responsibilities of being an adult.

Adult in quotations.

I hummed. “Well, how about from the beginning then.” I announced while stroking my chin.

“What were you and your…sibling really up to here in the castle? You said that the two of you had nothing in common to what happened prior before the three of us (well me and a couple of others) bumped into each other.” I started in hopes of finally getting somewhere...for once.

She fidget a bit on her seat before looking up again. “We-well yes…for starters I nor my sister had nothing to do with what happened in general. As I have tried to explain many times before, me and my sister were in a completely different part of the castle when we heard the echoing noise of what happened.” She recites before looking down at the table. “As for the reason why...” she her ears folded.” We were scouting the interior of the Palace for a vault or whatever else that is holding a very important item belonging to our race, while at the same time trying to find you so that we or more like my sister could enchant you to make kidnaping you a lot easier and bring you to the south eastern steppes so that our father and elders can use you as leverage towards the Zebra’s to give them back our ancestral lands and more. What our father and the others would have done to you afterwards is honestly unknown to both me and my sister…maybe even for the better.” She finished her confession before slumping back down against her seat.

This certainly is thought provoking. For one, if her claims are true then their attentions were nothing to nefarious, just a mission of revenge and to reclaim something that had been taking away from them a very long time ago. Still the whole aftermath of what would have happened to me after that is still somewhat disturbing to me. But that really can’t be their fault, they are just following orders like every good soldier.

The true villains are the ones above after all, which in this case, I am one of them. Especially in their eyes.

Also she is very weak willed and minded for spilling out all of that information without even having to use force.

Furthermore I am pretty sure that, whatever she is talking about is something that happened a thousand years ago. The time of the last Monkey king before everything went to shit.

This just obviously proves that I got my work cut out for me. The thought alone makes me want to stay in bed, but not this time, oh no. Enough lollygagging, it’s time to pull up my pants and kiss my ass goodbye. Because my ass is in my pants, which I can’t see it because it’s covered in fabric.

Yeah enough lollygagging.

I fixed my purple toga before sitting up straight. Need to look professional after all, well as professional as I can keep it.

“Your kind desires the return of your ancestral home? If that is all I don’t see no reason why I shouldn’t let a piece of someone atlas to be return to its rightful owners. What kind of land are we talking about anyway?” I questioned in the end while leaning forwards in a business man like fashion.

The doe again didn’t meet my gaze as she just looked off the side. I just have this feeling that it’s not going to be as simple as I originally intended.

“Well, it’s not as simple like that.” She answered which pretty much confirmed my feelings.

I groaned. “Well of course it isn’t. Well in that case just tell me how high and thick the wall that I need to cross so that I can groan some more.” I said with a forced smile that I just know is going to leaving me very much soon.

She nods while keeping her gaze fixed on the table. “Well, the reason as to why isn’t so simple is because…the land has been occupied by one of the many Zebra tribes from old since the collapse of your ancestors civilization after the last king. Not just any tribe, one of the largest and powerful ones in the entire steppes. A tribe my own spices had many disputes within the past regarding land and the rights to natural resources.” She explained.

Well shit…from simple to tiring, to downright difficult. This just also reminds me of my expected goal in re-unifying all of the different tribes that exist out there back together into a new and reborn nation just like how it used to be a 1000 years ago.

I always had the feeling that things aren’t going to be simple from the get-go but having to now openly deal with conspiracies against me, past blood that I have to pay for, and the concept of a possible internal unstableness regarding all of the different Zebra groups and their ideology is sending it WAY close towards home for my comfort.

Still it’s something I have to get passed while at the same time looking so orderly dashing handsome while doing it. Actually come to think of it, it still might be a lot more easier then it naturally feels at the beginning. If I managed to somehow weasel my way through fucking college for 4 straight years without failing then something like this shouldn’t also be too hard to weasel through.

It’s just like how my father used to say. “Stell dich doof dann gehts dir gut”

If it works for school and real life politics then it should most likely work here as well. Confusion and wit can be a powerful weapon after all, especially when that wielder is mad man-child with a caffeine addictions.

Well that’s what my cousins used to say, but I just like to call it essential morning brew.

“Talking about brew, should I really order a third refilling?” I thought to myself as I gazed down at my quarter full mug.

Well those thoughts got quickly quenched the moment one of the doors leading into the dining hall suddenly burst open with a stallion standing between them.

“Your highness, we just received a declaration of war from one of our neighbors.” He shouted

Everybody was shocked even Penelope as she just casually looked over at the panting guard while still nibbling on her rock.

I was more surprised than shocked. “What? But I haven’t even ended my turn yet.” I shouted back.

Author's Note

It finally begins. From this point forth the slow climb and Legacy of Alexander the Gre-MAGNIFICENT and his empire will finally start to take shape. From here the Achaemidien Empire shall rise and become the LARGEST empire this world has ever scene.

The pony world...not our world. Duh.

Chapter 11: Tactics and Logistics for Dummies

Author's Note

Well remember when I stated in one of my comments that the next chapter is going to feature the first battle of this story? Well I couldn't do that, simple because if I did this chapter would have been WAAAAY long and would also have taking allot more time to finish it up.

So instead its going to happened on the next chapter while this one focuses on logistics.

Chapter 11: Tactics and Logistics for Dummies

Edited by: A random person (No really that’s his name)

“The new specialized Legion renamed “The Desert Phalanx” have already been fitted with the new Pike weapons that you request. Unfortunately there were some…difficulty when the guards started handling them.” A random messenger reported as I sat in my new pillow fort converted throne.

Seriously, it kind of undermines the GRAND nature of the throne in how ridiculous it looks but at the very least I feel allot more comfortable sitting on it then I previously was.

Whoever thought that making the throne out of pure bronze has obviously a numb ass, otherwise all bets are off with that brain teaser.

I scratched my chin, while leaning back against my great wall of pillow. “Well that is nice to know, especially with a looming hostility over our heads.” I responded before focusing on the aforementioned problem. “Besides that, what is this ISSUE the new legion of guards have with it?” I questioned which in turn caused the guy to look down towards his note.

I have to say that his method of entrance was quite…interesting to say the least. The moment this guy entered the throne room hall he immediately managed to slip and slide himself over to me. Not sure what the servants use for waxing these marble floors here, but that shit has to be some really good wax if it transforms the floors into an ice skating surface, or they are just generally good in rubbing int that wax in the first place, which could mean all sorts of things as much as my ideas are concerned. Normally the path to the Throne –according to susi- would be laid down with a wide and very long piece of decorative carpet, but that thing -according to Aku this time- is still in storage and is somewhat of a hazel to move out and to bring all the way up here for very obvious reason.

When she mentioned that the thing is in one piece she seriously meant one piece. And no she wasn’t making a reference on that one anime thing that just seems to go on inevitably with no real end in sight for it, or at least when I last checked it. Some people just don’t know when to place a stop sign on something…unless it’s for the sake of milking money from its fans and sponsors, in which case it totally answers EVERYTHING.

Pretty positive that it is option number two here.

“Well…” The dude began before looking back up towards me.” According to almost all of the guards. Wilding these super long spears is quite a difficult task in its own right, especially in combination with such a large rectangular shield. Some even started to suggest that maybe they can just use both on their fore hooves to operate the pike while attaching a small round shield on their left foreleg for added frontal protection if need be.” The guy stated which really got me thinking.

To be honest, it's quite surprising that I managed to overlook that specific detail. The Macedonians did practiced a similar technique, operating there long ass pikes with both hands while a sizable round shield was attached on the left arm in case of long range pussies.

The fact that I still managed to overlook that very important detail is almost insulting to myself. I always did played as the Macedonians in both Rome Total war 1 and 2 and then some mod for Atilla that sends the game back to the BC era.

A very noobish mistake on my part. I blame the cheese I had at the time…before…it exploded into a quintillion pieces in front of me. I swear I will find those jackasses who ruined my Cheese like that, going to personally chain them up before throwing them into that one before mentioned alleyway with all of that hot illegal stuff going on in there. Of course this would also be in retaliations for trying to kill me, but losing such a perfectly proportioned wheel is just as bad. If my coffee was spilled on that day as well then it would be Armageddon for whatever species they belonged to.

Except if they somehow happened to be Zebras of course. Feeding your own citizens to the fishes is obviously not a very good political slogan to have. Not to mention very…dictatorial, a level I have not reached yet.

I hummed in thought. “Well in that case refit all of them with smaller round shields for now. Tell those blacksmiths to make some kind of harnesses for them so that mares and studs can strap them onto their left forelegs….Actually wait…”I stated before getting off from my pillow mount and causing the pillow that was on my head to fall and tumble down in front of the guys hooves. An idea just rushing into my mind.

“Why not add similar harnesses to the pikes as well? But add some kind of mechanism that can hold it tightly in place but can also be easily snapped off if needed.” I announced to no one in particular.

Personally I am not ready to fully abandon my original concept, especially since I am in a world where cartoon physics are a thing sometimes and where actual voodoo hoodoo actually exist.

Sure what may be considered dumb back in my world could probably work here instead…with a little bit of tweaking here and there of course, this world is populated with mostly quadruples after all. In fact this might work even better because of it.

“Hmmm I wonder…”I WONDERED while scratching my stubby chin beard.

The Stud in front, or more like blow me look up at me questionably. “What is it your highness?” He questioned which in turn just made me smile a bit as a joke suddenly took main presence in my mind.

Yes I am certainly a “Highness” now. I mean I am standing on elevated platform which means…ah whatever.

I looked down at him.” Ah nothing. I doubt that there is any time now to implement it, especially now that we might have hostiles closing into our position as we speak. Minotaur to be exact if my read the report correctly.” I stated.

Quite a surprise I have to say when I found out the aggressors were in fact Minotaur’s coming from the Far East. The fact that this world even has Minotaur’s at all was a real mind stopper. But then again anything is possibly so far, I mean this world has freaking dragons and Gryphons as well, so who knows what other mythological creatures are not so mythological here.

The existence of Mermaids would be nice, at least then it would give me the chance to enjoy some good boobies again that don’t just exist on some species crotch. Yes, please give me something that doesn’t go straight into bestiality territory when I want to touch it.

I straighter myself. “Anyway, time to prepare. Are Aku and some of the other higher ups already present in the council chamber?” I questioned.

The Stud nods. “Yes your highness. They are waiting for your presence as we speak.” He stated which just made me look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“They are already waiting for me this entire time while you were here reporting all of the new ounces. What kind of a constancy is this?” I questioned with extended arms.

The stud fidget a bit. “Well I am not sure your highness but that’s just how things are here…I guess…” He answered while looking back down at the scroll thoughtfully.

“Well it doesn’t matter now anyway. Let’s us go to the council room and see what the cracks have to discuss with me.” I announced before wide stepping down the stairs.

” Uhm your highness?” he replied questionably with a tilted head.

I stopped mid step to look at him. “Yes?”

“Well, did you meant US in WE?” He asked while pointing to himself.

I nod. “Well yes of course WE, I obviously still don’t know the way and layout of this damn Palace, which means that I still need a guide to guide me over to whatever destination the guide knows to guide me…in other words yes I would love for you to guide me to this, council hall.” I clarified.

He just looked off to the side awkwardly while rubbing the back of his head to solidify his feelings even further. “Well…” He began.” Sorry to say this your highness but…I have no idea the way to the council chamber myself, as I am still very new to this job.” He replied before quickly looking up at me in a bit of panic. “Bu-But I am sure that one of your Palace guard would know the way…I-I am sure we could ask them for directions.” He added.

I just looked at him suspiciously. “Well if that is the case, then how did you lot even manage to find yourself into the throne room in the first place, if you yourself have no clue about the Palace layout?” I questioned.

He just looked off at the side again awkwardly. “Well…that’s because I actually asked for directions when I was ordered to bring this message to you your highness.” He replied before perking up again. “Also the throne room building isn’t that hard to miss given its size and dominance within the compound.” He quickly added which in turn just made me look at him funny.

“But so is the council building, not just that, but it's located right at the outskirts of the Palace since the last time I have been there. How can THAT be so hard to miss?” I perused with wide, gesturing arms.

“That’s because we are in the hearth of the Palace, and not in the outskirts of it. In here pathways and hallways just looked allot more confusing to navigate, not to mention the high walls obscuring most of the view too.” He almost immediately answered.

This though got me thinking. I think I now understand the reason for the Palace confusing layout and structure. This is obviously some defensive engineering in case of enemy invaders or infiltrators, dumb for day to day live but honestly great if things for some reason hit south.

The city itself also shares a similar idea with the exception for the city walls, which don’t look that majorly impressive when comparing it to other well defended cities from either ancient or classical era. Another topic of upgrading if I ever get the chance to remember those.

I just grumbled. “Well time to go ask for directions I guess, and maybe for a hitch ride as well if he or she is strong enough to carry us both on their backs.” I mumbled before scouting the halls for any unlucky lot to perform this specific unnecessary deed.

Hey, I am king now. Sometimes you just gotta take full advantage of your status just for the sake of fun…and laziness.

“Ohhh…that guy looks especially buff…and that one too. I think I found our guides.” I thought with a grin.

“Come on then nameless messenger that I have never seen before in my life mostly because all of you kind of tend to look similar no matter how you paint or style your manes. We have a meeting to attend to.” I declared in one go much to the utter confusion to the affirmation nameless guy.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“The two of you, keep up. Just because you two are somehow in a favorable position towards the king doesn’t mean we have to be as tolerable. You two are still criminals regardless so any wrong move will give us the reason to make one as well. So at least keep up.” A random guard ordered.

The two mentioned criminals where none other than the two Gazelles that were caught after to the attempted assassination on Zebrica’s new Monkey King.

The magical one just grumbled while the normal one just kept to herself while following the guard’s orders. Both of them were surrounded by guards and escorted to a new location somewhere within the Palace by the King's orders. One of which was actually Sergeant Liuanda herself, keeping close to the magical Gazelle with her Nethicite to drain her magic.

One of the guards sighed. “Does anyone particularly know why we are escorting these two to a specific private location by the king’s orders? I thought these two are charged for trespassing and attempted assault towards the King?” He casually questioned as the group rounded another corner just to end up in another long hallways.

Liuanda was the one to pick up the torch. “No idea, but I am sure that the king has his reason none the less, even though most of us, not even the high priestess herself can understand him.” She answered.

The lead guard grunted. “You two back there. No talking. Keep your attention focused on the prisoners instead of your small talk. You can all partake in your normal conversations after we ported these two to their new locations.” The lead guard barged back which in turn did its effect.

Both her and the random guard kept quiet from this point forth as they continued their trek, with only the sounds of their collective hooves echoing through the large halls.

After rounded up yet another corner, Liuanda and her group finally reached their destination as another pair of guards greeted them in front of large wooden door to their left.

They all continued one as one of the two guards immediately intercepted them.

“Halt, these are the personal living quarters of his royal highness. State your reason and business.” One of the two demanded.

The group stopped as the lead guard took charge of the situation. “I am Officer Samit from the newly formed Desert Phalanx of his Royal highness. Me and my companions here are escorting a pair of Gazelles to his personal chamber according to his orders.” He stated before gesturing to the two prisoners in question.

The guard followed the officers gestured, his head dress flailing back and forth as he slowly shook his head in a hence of pity. He already knew why these two were sent here. The same as to why the two street rats were brought here as well earlier under the same orders. The same two Zebras who are currently waiting inside the King rooms…for a social experiment as a called it, and as an excuse to give the current caretakers a “Vacations” as he named it.

The guard eventually nodded before stepping aside and allow the officer and his companion’s entrance. He nods back in thanks before moving towards the heavy double doors and knocking on them.

A muffled shoving could be heard from the other side before the voice of a mare rank out.

“Who is it?” The mare questioned, her voice barely audible thanks to the reinforced wooden portals.

Officer Samit fixed the postured of his bronze sword before replying. “This is Officer Samit from the newly formed Desert Phalanx. I have brought the two prisoners in his highness request.” He replied.

There was another set of muffled shuffling before one of the doors finally creaked open. The faces of both Chambika and Ashika exposing themselves through the gap.

The two mares smiled as they eyes finally fell on the two clueless Gazelles behind the Officer.

“Oh perfect, I knew that his highness would keep his word. These two would certainly be perfect for the job.” Ashika exclaimed which caused both of the prisoners perk up.

One was immediately feeling alarmed and suspicious while the other just looked nervous or even downright fearful as to what was to come.

Everybody else ignored her statement as they kept their attention firmly fixed on both the Prisoners and the two Servants respectively. Samit nods before gesturing to the guards behind him to escort the two into the room.

Both Ashika and Chambika made way as the guards and the two prisoners were herded into the room. Both Gazelles looking at the scene in front of them with utmost confusion.

“Uhm…excuse me but…what are your names?” Chambika questioned as the two turned their gaze away from the scene to look at her.

The timid one was first to answer.” My…my name is Steppes, or Little Stepped in full.” She responded which would give the turn over to her sister.

Only problem, she didn’t looked or felt in the mood to openly give her name to her captors. That mentally though quickly changed as a little peck on her ass by one of the guard’s spears showed her the lack leverage she has in this current situation.

She grumbled at first before raising her gaze to meet with the servants.” My name is Mystic Gem…or mystic for short.” she mumbled, thankfully loud enough for everyone to hear.

Both Chambika and Ashika smiled before one of them began to gestured back at the scene with a hoof.” Well anyway, Miss Little Stepped and Miss Mystic Gem. Let me introduce you to both Najero and Nami over there, and to also Lady Penelope who is currently sleeping peaceful in her crib between these two ~though not for long.~” She introduced while mumbled the last part to herself.

Thankfully no one heard her as the two just stared at the aforementioned Zebras who just stared back with an equal level of curiosity.

Ashika waved a hoof in front of the sisters to get their attention once more. “Well first things first, just make sure to feed and play with her in the exact same hours listed on this parchment. “She explained before hoofing over said parchment to the timid one who automatically took it in both confusion and curiosity.

Ashika continued. “The parchment also includes allot of other things that the four of you need to do in case of a fire. Oh and it also includes the location of the “fire extinguisher” and some other safety means in case a fire is unavoidable. Also make sure that you take Lady Penelope with you in such an emergency as washing out ruse from her scales can rather be tricky if not even dangerous given how sharp some of them can be in certain areas. Other than that you should be good, and please don’t bother using your magic on her, as dragon, and especially her species poses high natural resistance to magic in general, not to mention it might also increase the likelihood to create another fire.” She finally finished before giving the two overly confused does a last kind smile before she and her partner filed out of the room.

“Again remember to follow the list to the letter and everything should be just fine for the four of you. Miss Penelope is quite the little sweetheart so basically you four don’t need to worry too much in her spewing fire on any of you.” She called back one last time before both finally disappeared around a corner.

To say the two were completely and utterly lost would be an understatement. The Officer eventually nudged both of them to move which in turn brought them back from there perplexed trance.

“Well you two heard the ladies, you two are hereby task to watch over his highness adopted daughter while he is busy tending to the emergencies the state has found itself in. For the sake of the two of you…or rather four in that matter, I would suggest to follow the instructions given to you to a T if you don’t wish to contribute to another fire which in turn would just worsen you sentence and overall situation even further…or even worst, get cooked on a stick by a little baby dragon with hiccup problems.” He explained casually to the two shocked does. Even mystic finally looks her composed mask at that point.

“Wha-wha-what?” Mystic responded which in turn just made Samit smirk under his face guard.

“You heard me, you and your sister are hereby sentenced to act as Penelope’s temporary babysitters until Miss Chambika and Ashika’s vacations is over.” He answered with amusement hidden in his tone.

“Oh and in case the two of you would get the idea about bailing when nobody is looking, just forget it. The royal chambers are watched and guarded all around and Sergeant Liuanda over here is lending her crystal to one of the guards stationed here in case your get all magicky in here. So overall you might as well picture this task as a much more fancier version of a prison with some work attached to it. ”He added before giving the others guard the go to leave the room.

The doors closed which only left both the two confused and shocked sisters in the room, with two Zebra sibling and a still sleeping baby dragon of course.

“You two might as well make yourself comfortable here. When the guy said that the room is being guarded and watched twenty four seven then he seriously meant twenty four seven. Every corner, every window and every slit is being closely watched from the Palace guards, both inside and outside.” Najero explained before leaning himself against the back of a couch.

He suddenly perked up. “Oh and by the way. The closet over there is filled with all kinds of different foods and drinks in case the two of you ever feel the need to do so. Free of charge as far as I know, and also the bathroom is behind that door over there in case the four of us need some quick water for the obviously unavoidable. I really don’t expect miracles from the four of us, considering that both me and my sister used to be market thieves and while the two of you are prisoners for something. At this point I am just waiting for her fiery hick-ups to start so we all may get separated again for the ‘failed experiment’.” He quickly added before going back in making himself comfortable.

What have they gotten themselves into?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“The more we delay the closer these Minotaur’s will be on our lands. What is the king taking so long?” An officer complained as he and two other of his peers were patiently waiting around the council table at the center of the hall.

A map of the surrounding lands that encompasses most of the ancient city laid on top of it. The map may be coming from the time of the last Monkey King but its legitimacy is still unquestionable despite its age. Nothing major really changes within the northern sands of the Zebrican Deserts. In fact, how can the lands themselves even change when the only thing that happened during those 1000 years was the steady decline and depopulation of a previous wealthy and prosperous nation? And really, nothing ever really changes within the timeless sands of the Grand desert of Zebrica, beside the slow moving dunes of sand here and there, contributing to the steady burial of an age long past.

Despite the sands now sporting nothing but ruins, the old maps are still quiet helpful in that regard. Highlighting previous regions within the land that used to held the locations of towns, bastions and even ancient temples.

Its ruins can still serve as strategic gathering point, for building up defenses or to take shelter from the harsh sun and sand storms of the desert.

Both Susi, Aku and another member from the temples are seated around the table, waiting patiently while Bakuss was busy pacing back and forth around the table. His unrest clearly showing within his movement.

“Well, he did had to first evaluate the new equipment’s the new Legions of Guards received while also tending on the new issue his original idea brought up.” Akunezzar commented while stroking his braided beard.

One of the random officer nodded. “Indeed high Shaman, what is the point in going off to war when the equipment isn’t ready yet. All of our planning and information gathering would mean for naught if our soldiers don’t have the means to properly defend themselves.” He elaborated, which many within the room had to admit makes allot of sense.

The same officer who first spoke up looked at him. “Well that may be true but I would also like for plans to be laid out as sooner rather than later, we may have the chance in intercepting the incoming army in a much more favorable location for our troop if we could quickly come up with a plan. A natural chokepoint or a River would be desirable.” He laid out which again allot of the military personnel had to agree on.

Engaging your enemy in favorable terms to yourself is something all great commanders can agree on. It’s all about make it as unfair towards your enemy as possible.

Bakuss was about to say something himself for the very first time when all of the sudden a loud knocking on the huge double doors stopped him from doing so.

Every thought and every possible discussions were immediately halted as every Zebra around the Table had their gaze fixed firmly at the entrance itself.

One of the officer sighed. “Finally.” He muttered quietly for very obvious reasons.

The door slowly opened with a guard poking his head through its small gap. “His Royal Highness is here.” He announced as two more guards appeared from the outside to help in pushing up the massive portals. “His Royal Highness, Alexander the Gra…uh I mean Alexander the MAGNIFICENT has arrived.” He Shouted as the doors were finally opened with a shadowy figure standing tall and proud within the Halo of the bright outside world.

Though what that shadowy shape turned out to be immediately left everyone within the room in a state of pause and completely utter confusion.

It was their king, but the way he was entered is what left everyone so perplexed.

He was riding in, literally riding in on the back of one of the guards, a very exhausted guard to be precise, seating sideways on him while holding a rather elegant pose and holding a mysteriously small but very stylized parasol above him.

Where he suddenly found such a Parasol is everyone’s guess but really most of the focused was fixed on the fact that he was riding into the throne on one of his guards, not just him but a messenger Zebra as well riding on top of another guard looking all embarrassed and awkward.

This was certainly a scene you won’t see every day. Let alone being performed by the re-incarnation of a long lost legend.

The poor stallion huffed and heaved before finally collapsing onto the floor with the king still plastered on his back. The king opened his eyes and blinked, seeming to realize that he has finally reached his destination before unsheathing his Parasol and throwing it away to the side with a smile.

He released himself from the over exhausted guard before dusting himself off. “Well that was certainly faster than I anticipated. I think there actually might be a plausibility for a black and white taxi service in the future.” He commented before looking down at the still heaving stallion.

He pulled out a large sack of gold, also seemingly out of nowhere before placing it in front of the stallion’s muzzle, giving him a few pats on the head before straightening himself once more. “Because of your service you are now hereby allowed for a whole month of a vacations. A PAID vacation none the less, for you service to the crown you have definitely earn it.” He declared before grinning and finally focusing his attention towards the ensemble of higher-ups for the first time.

“So what did I miss?” He casually asked, like he always even in the most ridiculous of situations.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………......

“Well, this is certainly one way to make a unique entrance.” Aku commented while stroking his Assyrian style beard.

I grinned. “Always pleasing to know that I can entertain my audience. To be honest, I did consider acting at some point, long before I even got dragged to this world from my backyard with my pajamas still on me.” I explained while making my way to the center of the room where the massive circular stone table is.

“But enough lollygagging it’s time we get down to business, we do have the seriousness of war in out mitts. The very lives and future of this nation is now at stake.” I added which in no doubt pretty much everyone agrees upon.

Just because I am somewhat of a brain child does not mean I am disconnected from the more serious aspects of life. Like this one, where the very life of my own man…or well stallions are at stake. If I mess up then that easily means they will lose their lives because of me.

No pressure, no pressure at all. But then again, panicking in a moment like this would not only be bad idea, but it would also be a hinder to any planning or thinking we have to do here. Not to mention making me look like a pussy.

I am not an idiot, but I am also no genius. Again, it takes a certain level of madness to be conscious of your own short comings. Time to test of my love for history can save my ass here. It would also quince all of those naysayers that say history is boring, dumb or pointless.

I will show them, I will show them ALL.

With my mind set and my pajamas pulled up high, joined the assembled of duded who have a much bigger voice compared to all the others to get this show on the road.

Or I would have, if I didn’t forget about a certain messenger and the guardsmare I picked for him to ride one. Yes, I intentionally picked a chick for him because even a lonely messenger needs some joy in his life. Or in his case, embarrassment and for her some suspicious level of enjoyment.
“Uhm…what about…me and him your highness?” The guardmare perked up while still standing at the same spot with the same stud still seated on her back.

I just waved her off. “Eh you two can go and do whatever. Have fun on YOUR vacations respectively.” I responded before looking back at the table in front of me.

Call it intuition but I bet one wheel and a halve of cheese that she actually smirked at this while giving the now nervous looking messenger and kinky look. The only indications I got that the two were making their exit where her hoof steppes and the closing of the main doors.

Now with these two lovebirds out of the way the war meeting can begin.

War, war never changes, and apparently same as here.

“Now that we are all assembled let us begin with the discussion as to what we know of our enemy thanks to our scouts. Their size, position and overall path towards this city.” Aku began, even though I had someone on my radar, a certain zebra I swear I had not yet seen before standing right next to Susi.

The get up he was sporting pretty much gave it away on what his occupations might be. But asking just to be sure doesn’t cost anything, especially for the king.

“Wait, wait Aku. Hold on a minute.” I announced before turning myself to the newcomer. “Who is this guy?” I ask while pointing at him.

The old stallion in questioned smiled before giving a small bow. “A good observation your highness, and yes, you are right to assume that neither of us have meet one another before, well at least not face to face that is.” He answered before rising back up.

I puckered my lips and rubbing my chin in interest.

“Is that so?” I casually added. “If that is the case, then who may I have then the pleasure of meeting face to face this fine day?” I questioned, diving back into my British side.

Even though I am not British, I am actually from a country Britain should normally hate, same with the France.

“I am high priest Akadar. Listener and head to the Temple dedicated to Zakahr. The deity of Metal and Warriors.” He introduced himself while giving off another bow.

“A mortal representation for a god of Metal and Warrior? Makes sense I guess. I mean you being here at the meeting.” I commented which in turn just made me realized something.

“I am surrounded by Pagans.” I thought to myself. But then again magic IS a thing here so why not all powerful and vengeful gods? Better not annoy them…too much. Not until I can find the MacGuffin and bring them down to earth, muhahahahaha.

I grinned evilly at the thought while rubbing my hands together, not really registering the fact that everybody was giving me confused looks.

“Uhm…you highness.” Susi whispered while poking my side.

I blinked, before looking down at susi and then everyone else.

I coughed. “Anyway, as I said let’s get this show on the road. Aku you were about to say something?” I announced before gesturing over to the old Assyrian to my left.

He nods before taking the ropes and gesturing to the laid out map in front of us. “Well yes, as I was about to announce. The scout we have sent out to find and keep an eye on the enemy's movements have come back with allot of useful information in their hoof.” He began.

I rubbed my chin in thought. “Scout? I don’t remember ever sending out scout into the fields.” I commented, more to myself then to all.

Aku just smiled. “And you may not be so wrong with that your highness, it’s because I ordered them to be sent out the moment this dilemma was brought to my attention.” He explained.

I Ahh-ed to that before something else came up to my mind that also required an answer.

“Who were those Zebra’s that willingly went out to the middle of nowhere to scout out a bunch of buff dudes with horns?” I questioned once more which didn’t took long for me to get an answer to.

“Do you remember high Shaman Gilganesh from the Sand Hunter tribe?” He asked me back in which I nod.

He smiled before continuing. “Well those Zebra’s came from that tribe. Send personally by their chieftain when I sent a scroll to request them. Besides being deadly archers by trade they are also masters in the art of tracking and stalking their prey. Professional scouts and knowing our lands like the back of their hoofs” He explained.

I ohh-ed this time instead of Ahh-ed. “Ah yes, I remember that guy. A living talking poet that one.”

Aku nods to that before returning to the matter at hand. He gestured back to the map. “Again, as I was about to explain, our scouts have managed to find and track down the Minotaur’s position and path from the east. Apparently they have moved along the cliffs and passes along the Mushroom coast from the north, outside of Saddle Arabia’s sphere of influence. In other words, a clear neutral zone for any moving army to exploit.” He announced while moving his hoof along a coastline to the Far East side of the map. No doubt being this drug trip coast he was talking about.

The way this strip of land is named I imagine that this coastline is literally populated with oversized shrooms, but until I can get a confirmation or a vacations card from that region, all I can do is hope that my assumption to that idea are correct.

I do love a good mushroom soup after all.

“This is what is bugging me the most.” A random officer (I think he is one judging by his bling on his gear) perked up which got everyone attention. “Why don’t the desert horses of the east just take that thin region on their northern coast? It most certainly is in range of their borders and could give them easy access to the sea. So why not claim it?” He inquired, which is a pretty good question.

Aku sights. “That is because at certain seasons during the year the entire coast will be surrounded in a thick mist of spores emitted from the large mushrooms. It’s both irritating and sometimes poisonous to inhale. So it’s better to leave that coastline to the forces of nature and not waste so many resources in clearing the coast.” Aku explained yet again, making me think he might be some kind of a bookworm or something.

Well he is the high shaman slash custodian of this city before I showed up. It’s his job to know all of these things. But besides that my ideas were quickly confirmed. Just imagine all the mushroom soups I can have in the future. Maybe sprinkled some cheese in as well to spice things up.

The officer though still didn’t looked too convinced. “Then what about Minotaur’s? Are they kind of immune to these spores or am I missing something?” He continued one which just made me groan internally.

Didn’t you pay any attention as to what braided beard over here just said?

Aku was allot more patient than that.” Not at all, as I mentioned before. The spores only surround the region at CERTAIN seasons during the year. If you know the monthly cycles in which the fungus releases its spores then it’s very easily to avoid those seasons and travel safely through the narrow passageways that make most of the coast.” He answered.

The stud looked finally satisfied after that, which was good because I still have not enough information about the enemies target and CURRENT whereabouts. If I want to go and steal their exotic shit for myself then I need to know more than just these two first.

Also get a good recipe for mushroom soup. Great, now I am hungry again. Can’t stop thinking about those mushroom now.

“But what about the enemy’s movements?” Bakuss this time asked which is good.

In my eyes he is still the most trustworthy guard around.

Aku nods. “I was getting to that.” He began before moving his hoof away from the coast and to a completely different area on the map. South west from the coast to be precise.

“According to the scouts the Minotaur’s have continued to move along the Saddle Arabian border and are now currently moving through the white serpent’s coast east from the main continent of Zebrica itself. They will be reaching the only hoof made bridge connecting both Zebrica and the eastern continent. Giving them direct access into the wide open deserts and eventually a path directly to this city.” Aku pointed all the locations which was closely followed by everyone on the table.

To be honest for me the map was just a splash of scribbles and many shades of brown colors. I have no real references of what is what or where is where. But that of course does not matter the moment Aku mentioned a Zebra made bridge that connects the east and west.

“You mentioned that these Minotaurs are moving towards that one particular bridge. Is it really the only safe and easy path for an army to take to reach the Zebrica continent?” I asked while leaning forward and resting an arm on the table.

This time though it was the newcomer to provide that answer.” Well yes it is. It is the closest and only passage into Zebrica from the north east. A natural land bridge does exist between the two continents much further south, but that would mean travelling through more inhospitable heat and terrain to get there. A not very efficient path if you have a large army in tow.” Akadar explained.

I guess priests here are allot more than just religious fanatics. They can certainly contribute to a more…mortal level.

That changes everything though as I already knew what need to be done.

“Perfect.” I shouted which surprised everyone. “I pointed back at the spot Aku has pointed out earlier.” This is the spot that we need to fortify. March our troops to our side of the bridge and wait for the enemy to show up from there.” I declared.

It was Bakuss this time to raise his hoof.” That would be fine but then what? Minotaur’s are physically allot more impressive compared to a Zebra. One Minotaur equals to five adult Zebras in strength alone, not just that but they tend to wield rather large weapons to. How would you intent to equalize that without the assistance of the other tribes, like the mentioned desert hunters and their deadly aim?” He brought up which allot of his other peers could only agree on.

I grinned as for me the solutions was pretty obvious. “That’s where the newly practice and introduction of the Phalanx comes into handy.” I began. “Not sure if I managed to explain it properly during the first day but a Phalanx is typically very, VERY good in holding a choke point and keeping a much more impressive force at bay. A well-formed and well-disciplined Phalanx can stand its ground with almost any opponent, the continuous row of long pikes will make sure that no enemy can get into striking distance of your own men while giving your own man the reach advantage. And it’s obviously not just one pike a Minotaur has to worry about, there are allot more Zebra’s next and behind the first one also equipped with the same weapon, which means that poor bastard is going to be spending the rest of his life trying to keep the water he drinks from leaking out of the many holes on his body…if he survives that it.” I summarize.

Pretty much everyone at this point was thinking and processing the information I laid out for them, not to long I could tell that one by one, they started to understand my plan.

Bakuss was the first to approve, well he was with me during the exercise after all.

“That could seriously work. With such a tactic and with no treats of getting flanked this plan could easily give us a huge advantage.” He commented.

Another officer perked up though. “What about the threat of range fire?” He questioned which personally didn’t bothered me too much.

“Simple, that what the strapped on shields are for. Given not as protective as the shields I originally wanted to use but still enough for a Zebra to huddle behind if they are being massive pussies.” I answered before aku stepped up.

“Plus Minotaur’s aren’t known for using ranged weapons during their campaigns. It goes against their warrior pride and battle ideology.” He added which just made things a lot more easily.

There ideology is going to bit them in the ass, If only I have warhounds as an option.

I clapped my hands. “Well then it’s settled then, prepare the…” I was about to say before something else quickly entered my head.

“Wait a minute, before we go any further what about logistics? You know what they say ‘an army marches on its stomach” I elaborated.

One of the random dudes looked thoughtful at first before looking at me. “Well in that regard I can safely say that logistics are covered. After the message reached us all we immediately ordered for the storage rooms and silos to be opened. Those Silos have been storing excess food during every harvest season and should easily hold enough to feed our entire army many times over.”

“Well that covers logistics.” I thought before something else entered my mind...again. Seriously what is it with my head actually staying focused and bringing up cohesive thoughts?

“And what about time. Do we have to time to reach the bridge itself before our enemy does?” I continued on while scratching the tiny beard on my chin.

It was Aku again. “I would believe so, we personally know these lands much better than any other species living outside this continent after all. The scouts in particular would be able to show us the easiest path to the east and avoiding all the traitorous terrain of the Zebrica Desert. Saving you and the army a lot of time.” He answers which basically and finally answered all of the questions that needed to be answer for today.

I clapped my hands together in satisfaction. “Well in that case, operation ‘Darm Verstopfung’ is hereby on the go.” I declared with a slam against the table. “Wir werden diese ausländer schon das fürchten lehren. Für das fatherland.” I added in a shout and a raised fist.

The Zebra’s of course where confused on my use of German but still followed through by raising their own hooves and declaring that this victory will be the start of many more in the foreseeable future. A declaration I can only agree upon.

With my smarts, tablet smarts and everybody else’s smarts who are smart enough to be considered smart. I may be going off into a real battle for the first time of my life but that won’t deteriorate my….

I stopped as the realization suddenly hits me.

“Shit, I am going to be leading an actual battle. Where is an adult when you need one?” I thought to myself, the gravity and expectation fully settling in.

“Lampenfieber lampenfieber LAMPENFIEBER. ICH KRIEGE LAMPENFIEBER!!!!”

Chapter 12: Battle on the Big Bridge

Chapter 12: Battle on the BIG BRIDGE

Edited by: TheShadowOfZama

“Sometimes it’s easy to forget in just how HOT the desert can be outside the city.” Susi commented as the sounds of marching hoofs echoed behind her.

I just grumbled. “Well at least YOU don’t have to suffer the mistake of wearing Flip Flops in the middle of the desert. Just image how it feel for my feet.” I retorted.

Susi looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. “But you are seated here with me in the same chariot. How can you complain about the hot sand when you are not even walking across it?” She pointed out which caused me to look down before focusing back on susi.

“I was talking about BEFORE I hopped into this chariot.” I pointed out myself before looking back at the marching army behind us.

By the way, just for information, the chariot that I am currently residing on is being pulled by two Zebras…mares in fact. Why? Because someone thought that maybe, the MALE king, would be pleased if he had a duo of mares to stare at. The backside of mares mind you.

Too bad for this guy that I have strong morals, otherwise his idea might be somewhat justified in regards to sex appeal. What I will be crediting the guy for would be the fact he actually had the sensibility to strap on a pair of mares with actual tails instead of that bunny tail nonsense that Nami has.

I can do a trip through the heat without having an image of Zebra ass and vag in front of me thank you very much.

The other two Zebra’s that went with me where of course Bakuss, and to my surprise the new high priest dude as well with his god smash and own chariot. The reason why he is with us on this fine day is simple because of the fact that he wishes to observe and record the battle himself for records sake, and to also present it to his acolytes back in the temple when the deed is done, not to mention offer spiritual guidance as well or whatever.

If he wants to be a spiritual support to his troops then so be it. Believes and moral go hand in hand after all.

“You know what I should have brought with me?” I randomly announced which got Susi’s attention.

“No, no I do not. If you mean your requested supplies of Cheese, coffee and a…soap bowl of all things then I have no idea on what could possibly be missing of your personal belongings on this campaign.” She recalled before the chariot suddenly of a bumped into a bit of rock which caused both of us to jump and jerk on our seats.

“Note to self, need to introduce the concept of suspension to these Zebra’s” I mentally noted while fighting off a curse from yet another bump that rocked our cart.

I think adding a better road system would also be a thing to do.

What can I say, I got spoiled by the modern norms of my home world.

I steadied myself onto the railing of the Chariot as I replied. “Well Penelope of course.” I answered which in turn caused Susi to look up at me weirdly.

“You want to take a baby dragon with you to a battlefield? Why in the gods above would you want to do that?” She questioned.

I just grinned. “Simple, just imagine the physiological effects of fire. Just tickle Penelope on her nose and she will be sneezing fire in no time. Just aim at the general direction where the enemy is coming from and let it rip. Easy and simple.” I explained before raising finger. “Plus she would also act as a good distraction, which means that I don’t have to feel the weight of responsibility as much as I do know.” I added solemnly at the end with my head trooping down at the railing.

Susi patted me on the back. “Hey it will be fine your highness, most of the planning and ideas were already discussed back at the meeting, which means most of the actual dirty work so to say, lies now in the Hoof of Bakuss and his Officers. So really all you need to do is watch and occasional step in when you feel the time is right. According to your proposed plan I am sure that victory should be certain.” She tried to re-ensure which was kind of helpful.

That is her job really after all. To make me forget things.

“How about some Coffee to calm your nerves?” She suggested.

It was then when a servant suddenly came galloping from the back ranks. She held a silver tablet in her mouth with my mug of coffee on it.

I perked up at that, forgetting all of my woes and taking my novelty mug from her. I thanked her which made her smile and return somewhere at the back. I was about to take a sip from it when another pebble decided to stand in our way which caused the chariot to violently jerk up.

The end results were predictable.

Some of the coffee spilling directly onto crotch and doing wonders for my already sweaty boxers underneath.

I screamed. “AHHH HOT, THIS DESERT IS ALREADY HOT ENOUGH AND NOW I AM GETTING A DICK FULL OF HOT COFFEE INTO MY BOXER. NEXT INNOVATIONS FUCKING SUSPENSIONS, LIKE SERIOUSLY.” I ranted which caused one of the mares pulling us to look over her shoulder towards me.

Susi just frowned before ordering a parasol behind us to get some shade in.

Yeah did I ever mentioned that we had NO sun protection this entire time? I am either going to suffer from sun burns or a sunstroke when all of this is over. All because of some buff horny dude had scratch himself on the balls and has decided that someone else should receive his load of bull instead of his wife.

What a dick, first threatening my realms and its peoples, and not also contributing to a night of puking my guts out in someone else’s toilet.

My “lampenfieber” at this point got swiftly replaced by a healthy level of anger and annoyance, forcing me to go into the desert on nothing but flip flops. The nerves.

I guess today I am going to add a new set of trinkets for everyone back at the dining halls. The horns of Minotaur’s, Celtic style.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Back in the Palace something else is happening. A certain baby dragon getting the hiccups thanks to overfeeding and a lack of patting her back, which results in some of the hottest hiccups that a person can turn one about…or off giving the fact that we are dealing with actual fire here.

Four individuals began to panic as a large decorative curtain within the royal chamber are set on fire thanks to a hiccups.

“I told you not overfeed her.” Little stepped shouted as her sister tried to point the dragon at something else that isn’t flammable.

“You did NOT. All I heard was you instructing me on how to feed an infant in the first place. I never fed a baby dragon, or any other infant for that matter.” She shouted back, not really helping the situations these two got themselves in.

Najero was just laughed at this whole ordeal while Nami was trying to get the aforementioned “Fire extinguisher” in their guide to put out the curtain, otherwise they will be all in a much deeper hole than they already are towards the higher ups.

Except for the king, he seems to not give a shit most of the times.

Alexander would just go ahead and pick ANOTHER room for himself if déjà vu was repeating itself. Which is why he first vacated the room of all of his personal belongings before even leaving the city.

He is clever after all.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

“Your highness…YOUR HIGHNESS!!” I heard Susi shout through my earbuds.

I removed them from my…well ears and looked down at her. A look of leveled irritation on her features.

I shrugged. “What? Sorry I was listening to the “Hell march” while pretending that I was leading the red army or something. Did you say something?” I responded which in turn just made her pucker her lips a bit like a child, which by the way looked super adorable on her.

“Yes, Yes I was. Like many times over” She stated before pointing a hoof at something.” We have finally arrived at Serpents Bridge, and just over at the other side our scouts have just sighted and reported that the Minotaur army is marching around the cliff side as we speak. Both our army and theirs are literally facing each other now with only the Serpent sea separating us.” She explained mostly likely having been the tenth time in a row judging by her tone.

I turned off my phone and removed my ear buds completely before starting off into the pointed distance. She was right we have finally reached our destination. Down below the large cliff we are overlooking was indeed the coast of the Serpent Sea and most importantly the wide and long bridge that connects the east to west. On the other side, or should I say, the Saddle Arabian side where a lot more…cliffs compared to ours with more greenery as well like Palm trees and what not. Our side was a lot more shitty, dry, rocky with large overhangs. Granted we are a lot closer to the grand desert we just crossed through but still.

I want my shit to look good too.

“Well here we are. Better to put our forces into formation quickly before the enemy can even see us. Perhaps then by seeing our forces blocking the bridge they might reconsider their assault on Zebrican soil.” Bakuss stated as he suddenly came up next to our chariot.

I scuffed. “And I think that you are having delusional wishes. As if it would be THAT easy.” I countered with a gesture at the incoming enemy.

Bakuss sighed. “Yes I know your highness but…one can dream.” He said before looking behind him. “DID YOU HEAR IT, WE MARCH DOWN TOWARDS THE BASE OF THE BRIDGE AND FORM OUR FORMATION. MOVE!” He commanded while pointing the bridge below.

There was a loud and almost in sync “HUA” before the sounds of thousands of marching hoofs echoed through the canyon. Soon though rows upon rows of five thousand heavily armored and cloaked Zebra guard marched past me and Susi. There super long pikes raised high and vertically into the heavens and there strapped on shields gleaming in the desert sun, with their head dresses flowing through the desert winds.

Come to think that sights like these very previously only possibly in games like Total war, but seeing this for myself, right in front of me with me being the king is practically faint inducing.

No really…Susi was actually forced to support my form from completely collapsing onto the floor. The key word here is forced because I literally leaned right on top of her, attentional or not is open for debate.

“By the love of Tzerath, I knew you were heavy but not THIS heavy. “She grunted as she tried to keep herself from being floored.

I shook my head before getting back up. “No time for silly shit, it’s time to get serious, a battle is about to happen, a battle of rights and bragging right.” I told myself while fixing my purple toga and bling.

Yes because a leader must always look his best in public while blood gets sprayed all over his robes. Hope it won’t actually come to that…because I don’t want to attract whatever version of aids these anthropomorphic bulls have on them.

I still want to hook up with some mermaids if those exist here.

A second chariot suddenly pulled up next to ours, a certain priest of war looking over the assembling forces while holding a parchment and quill in front of him.

“Well it seems like this is it then. I can already spy the enemy from over here. They have just arrived at the other end of the bridge.” Akadar pointed out which caused all of us the look. True to his words there was movement happening on the other end of the sea. My much sharper eyes giving me the confirmation that we are indeed dealing with Greek mascots.

I can barely see the outlines of horns from here.

So that is what seeing like an eagle feels like.

Seriously ever since I got here I just somehow got a boost on many aspects of my physic. Monkey like acrobatics, enhanced reflexes with those Gazelles, prototype style wall running, and certain senses like sight have gone up too, in this case way up as I can vaguely make out the Minotaur’s on the other side despite the fact that it must be like 2 or 3 kilometers from here and the other end.

Me and the rest watched as our troops got into formation with Bakuss barking the orders. Soon, our side of the bridged was completely plugged off by our studs and mares with their pikes still pointing upwards, but that can quickly change let me tell you.

But still, the large line of Zebra guards wielding long pikes is truly a sight behold, especially with the waving insignias of their legions and the Cities crest held by banner carriers. Equally impressive was how all non-combatant personnel immediately started the construction of the medical posts. Should we win then it would be our first and foremost concern to get the wounded treated. After the battle was concluded the soldiers could start helping with setting up the camp. It would have been preferable if this could have been done a day or so before the minotaurs showed up to also give the men some time to regain their strength, but you needed to work with the cards you were dealt.

It’s like playing total war in real life…with all the real life repercussions of course.

But I felt confident, both in their abilities and mine. Well mostly theirs because I can’t possibly be bothered to go down there to risk my life. I am crazy but not stupid. Especially when I have ZERO training in the arts of fighting.

“Shouldn’t we be moving a little bit further down to be closer” I wondered as a couple of supply wagons stopped behind us and took position on the overhang where we are standing at.

Akadar shook his head. “Not necessary. As High Priestess Susara stated, most of the work will now be in the hoof of your trustworthy commander and officers. We can’t have you in harm’s way for many obvious reason. Even if things to go south your survival will mean a lot to the populace back home. They might always be a second chance, especially since our enemies do not know the sands as well as we do.” The old stud explained.

I scratched my head as a response. Honestly he is right, whenever a leader falls in battle it usually kills moral if the troops know or in another scenario it can creates a power vacuum if a suitable heir isn’t present to fill that gap, and a heir I obviously don’t have and probably won’t for a very long time.

So really, naturally there is still a lot at stake here. Especially since my rule hasn’t been that long and I haven’t established anything that can guarantee stability for future representative. So again his worries might be well placed.

But I am just getting distracted again, not a very good moment to mentally wander off especially when I can literally see the army of horns moving forward and occupying the eastern side of the bridge.

Yes occupy, as in stopping with only one of them continuing along the path towards our army.

I don’t know why but I am getting some serious Troy vibes here. The Movie I mean. I already knew that this guy moving along towards our troops must be some kind of leader figure towards these Minotaur’s. A feeling which got confirmed when the guy began to shout.

“LISTEN HERE AND LISTEN GOOD. I AM GENERAL THUNDER DRUM, LEADER OF THIS MIGHTY ARMY AND EXTENDED VOICE OF KING MINAS THE STRONG. I WISH TO CONVERSE WITH YOUR LEADER PERSONALLY BEFORE ME AND MY HORDE WILL CRUSH ALL OF YOU. PERHAPS BY TALKING WE MIGHT COME TO SOME KIND OF AN AGREEMENT WHICH WILL SPARE YOU ALL UNNEEDED BLOODSHED BY YOUR IMMEDIATE SURRENDER. I HAVE SPOKEN.” He shouted, his voice just leaking of testosterone in just how deep it was.

The reaction of my studs and mares was of course not pleasant as they took his taunt to themselves and delivered their own taunts and shouts at this wanna be tough guy. As far as I know, he might actually be a tough guy judging by his frame and obvious size.

But besides that his requested of an audience still reached me, which means that I am obligated to obliged, or rather forced to accept his challenge. I am a civilized man after all, plus I do want to get a much closer look at the guy to determine what kind of culture these Minotaur’s are mimicking.

With that set in stone I fixed my toga and pulled up my pajama pants before looking down at Susi. She looked back at me, having a knowing look in her eyes.

“You are going to accept his request aren’t you?” She questioned in which I answered with a simple nod.

Akadar had its own words to say however. “You do know that you will be at the mercy of that hulking Minotaur if you accept his request. We have no archers with us, which means that nobody will be able to assist you when it turns out to be a trap.” He explained which I guess is the same thing that Susi here was thinking as well.

I just scratched my chin. “He may have a point there.” I thought while re-evaluating my plans some more.

I could bring in some guards to accompany me on this meeting but that would most likely be seen as a sign of weakness given the fact that their leader had the courage to step up alone with all of his forces stationed and waiting at the other side, and judging by the knowledge of these guys so far and the overall vibe they get off by just looking at them I would guess that these Minotaur’s value strength and courage above everything else. So of course for the sake of imagery I must not show any signs of weakness and present myself alone the same way as he did, and to also make sure that he doesn’t get any more ammunition to throw back me…verbal ammunition that is.

Plus I don’t want to be seen a pussy on the first and perhaps most important engagement of my new carrier. I mean, I am somewhat of a pussy, an ass hat, and a massive troll but nobody needs to know that, especially those that have aligned themselves against me.

Image is everything in the world of Politics after all.

Well it is decided then. I go down and listen to what this furry brute has to say and maybe get a chance to kick him on the crotch when nobody's looking.

I don’t care how many muscles you have that are stealing blood from your brain, a good Jap on the balls bring any man down, most likely even anthropomorphic bulls.

“I am going.” I simply declared while given the two mares the go ahead to move down the cliff.

Susi of course was still somewhat sceptic but kept her cool as she stayed on the chariot with me.

“Hope you know what you are doing.” I heard her silently comments as we reached the rear lines of our forces.

A chorus of cheers echoed throughout the ranks as my chariot approaches. The lines immediately parted, giving me and Susi a clear and straight path onto the bridge where the big tough guy was waiting for us.

I could see him cross his arms while holding a amused smirk on his muzzle. Mostly likely of the fact that I am riding onto the bridge on two mare which Is why I gave the two the call to stop as I wanted to just walk the rest myself to, again, give him less to chew on.

The chariot stopped and I hopped off, with Susi being close behind as the two of us made our way towards this hulking titan. I can already smell the high level of testosterone from here as we approached him…no really, there is some kind of really musky stench in the air that just seems out of place for a bridge in the middle of a Desert. Susi seems to smell it too but her reaction was a lot more…obvious on her end as she first reeled back a bit while holding a faint blush on her cheeks. That just solidifies my idea that these are MAN genes I am smelling, not a surprise considering just how buff this guy is under all that scale armor of his.

The big Minotaur lost his smirk as we approached, a look of surprise and curiosity on his fat nose feature.

“Well then, I would guess that you must be this Legendary Monkey King that the Saddle Arabians are talking about. I guess the messenger of our king must have seen things correctly when he saw a hair and tailless ape in front of the old Palace.” He commented.

I of course felt insulted, simply because I was more than just a hairless and tailless ape. I was THE APE. The title of “Monkey King” must mean something after all.

I crossed my arms. “Bold words coming from guy who doesn’t smell so different in comparison to a hairless ape.” I retorted, which of course got the big dudes attention.

“What did you just say?” He demanded with a scowl, a scowl I equally returned in full force.

“Listen here…SIR, you started this game, so I am just returned the favor in regards to my race. An eye for an eye if you will. I am sure your kind might be aware of such a fair trade, especially when you seem to value honor above everything else. At least on first glance.” I stated.

He relaxed of course before going back in crossing his arms and standing proud in front of me. Did I ever mentioned that his set up kind of reminds me of the Mycenaeans? Like the helmet, the design of the armor, just basically everything. Even some of the shields I see off in the distance have this cow like pattern on them. A very odd mixing of cultures in this world especially given the fact that the Mycenaeans were a Bronze age civilization. But then again who cares especially since I am in a world full of talking animals and voodoo hoodoo.

I said this before and I am saying it again, my sense of disbelieve in on an all-time low here. I am pretty much expecting EVERYTHING at this point.

He eventually just scoffed before resting his arms on his hips rather than crossing. “Well it matters not in the end anyway. In case you aren’t aware of this we are here because of YOU.” He pointed out. “Legend or not, we and a lot of other factions out there would love to keep things the way they are and a re-united Zebra nation would just mean another player in the fields of power. A new player we honestly have no need for. So in order to prevent this from happening King Minas has decided to just tear out the roots before a full blown tree can form from it. And those roots are YOU.” He stated while once again pointing a rather rude finger at me.

It was my turn to scoff. “Well if I was a root then how in heaven's name am I standing right in front of you? Aren’t roots supposed to be immobile?” I trolled back which in turn just made him confused for just a moment.

He frowned. “You have some weedy quirks, but believe me they’re not going to save you from a ten thousand strong well trained army. Surely you must know already you are terribly outnumbered. Our army is one of the finest of the world, whereas I can’t even remember the last time a Zebra army fought against a minotaur or any trained army for that matter. When my army crushes yours and it will then I will drag you in chains back to the Minos isles, not to mention taking your lands as an added price. I offer you this. You surrender to me and I will swear you will get a fair treatment and your people will be peacefully annexed as opposed to the ‘rougher’ way we normally do annexing.” He shot back which in turn caused me to blink, turn around and to see nothing but the desert behind me before looking back at the dude with a raised eyebrow.

“Seriously?” I began with a thump pointed over my shoulder.” You seriously want THAT? The world’s largest sandbox?” I questioned with again my best British expression I can muster.

I returned to my normal pose with a shrug. “I mean, if your goals are to construct the largest sandcastle known to time and space then by all means. But other than that the lands offer nothing in return besides sand, rocks and a serious case of heatstroke. Not the best place you want to conquer to be honest.” I added casually.

The big guy just grunted, slamming a hoof against the old stone before pointing another rude finger at me. “Enough talk, your mockery has gone far enough even for my taste. Either accept my offer or go ahead and prepare you forces. Choose wisely because if you take the second option we will only meet again when you’re in chains. I have spoken.” He declared waiting patiently on my reply.

I rested my hands on my hips. “What a load of BULL-shit.” I commented before turning around and walking back to my forces with Susi following close behind.

Her look filled with worry. “So this is it then. We are at war. I guess certain prices must be paid in order to rebuild something that has been lost.” She commented, a statement which I have to agree on.

At least now I know that there ARE outside powers that would love for the Zebra’s to stay fractures. I mean I already knew that something more complex was in the works when I was first attacked, but this just makes it even clearer. Though the question still remains. Who or what tried to kill me on that day. I don’t think it was the Minotaur’s as it does seem out of character for a race that values battle and the honor of their warriors, not to mention they would make terrible assassins given their natural size. Anyone would be able to notice big buff Minotaur’s running around the Palace or down at the city.

But I am once again removing myself from the current issue. I have a war to get through before I can even think about investigating this case further. Hopefully winning this battle would either send out a clear message or throw more wood into the fire. Spite alone can be enough to fuel a war after all, not the mention all the small and mundane things too.

The troops were shouting and taunting in all eagerness as me and Susi made pushed our way back to the rear lines after we boarded the chariot. I implore their enthusiasm but this is still a war. They soon will soon be fighting for their lives -which is on its own- would be a great motivator on its own. It’s really all in their training and discipline, if these guys hold true to the training and cooperation we have taught them then everything should -in theory- be fine. But you know how the old saying goes, no plan ever survives first contact. So again all I can do now is wait and crossing every finger and toe I have that this will work.

Bakuss immediately approached us the moment we returned to the safety of the rear. He also looked ready and eager to kick some ass and to proof himself. Probably literally, since he is basically part horse.

“Your highness, I would advise you and High Priestess Susara to retreat back on the top of the cliff for your safety. The First Line of Minotaur’s are already moving across the bridge as we speak.” He instructed before pointing a hoof at the aforementioned direction.

Both me and Susi looked back towards the Bridge and truth to his words the first line of Minotaur’s were indeed moving forwards, stomping and hitting their war axes against their chest plates in an act of strength and intimidations.

Not sure if Mycenaeans used war axes but whatever, not really the moment to get all historical on this things.

Bakuss of course wasted no time, returning to his fellow guards and barking his orders.

“DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED, REMEMBER YOUR ROLES AND TRAINING, ON MY ORDERS LOWER YOUR PIKES AND BRACE YOURSELFS.” He shouted as he returned to the front most row where he most likely wants to be.

I have to say I have never seen or imagined such a side of him even existing. Sure he seemed a lot more dedicated then the lot but still. Maybe it’s some kind of ancestry thing? To be fair I have never even wondered or personally ask about his or his family history. Never felt the need or had the idea to ask him in the first place. But even so, if this truly works out the same way how I imagine it to be then I should certainly give this guy some more respect and perhaps even a raise if I can even remember to do so.

“Your highness we need to return to the hill. Staying down here is too dangerous for us.” Susi urged.

I could only agree. Telling the two mares to hurry back up the cliff where Akadar was waiting for us. I immediately hopped off the Chariot the moment we reached the top and quickly made my way over to the edge of the cliff that overlooks the bridge and the sea below us.

I would like to imagine that this was some kind of all-round 3D Cinema with all round sound, but for the sake and respect for the Mares and Stallions down there who are literally risking their lives for their families, honor and their nation I will force down my inner antics and be serious for once.

“Some Coffee your highness?” A servant suddenly came up as I was about to engage serious mode.

I blinked, before scratching my chin in thought “But then again, I still can’t say no to a good cup of joy, even in front of an upcoming battle that basically dictates the fate and future of everyone. In fact caffeine at this very moment wouldn’t be that bad of an idea, especially when this is probably going to be the most nerve racking moment in my entire life. Right next to my final college exam.” I thought to myself before taking the offered mug from the servant.

Certainly only caffeine can help me to get through this.

“Wonder if I should play “Battle on the big Bridge” or not. Seems both appropriate and inappropriate at the same time.” I wondered as my gaze slowly and surely travelled down to my right pocket where my Cellphone was.

“Nah.” I announced before just taking a sip and placing my trust on Bakuss and my guards.

You better not fuck this up Bakuss, because if you do we will all be fucked.

Dead I mean, not in a sexual way or whatever.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Bakuss and his guards were all ready and eager. He and his entirely line where patiently waiting as a front of big, armored, and war axe wielding Minotaur’s where charging down directly towards there them.

Shouting, taunting, eager and thirsty for battle, like a hungry hunter charging down towards it’s prey. Bakuss knew it, his fellow guards knew it. This was war, this was it, now there was no more turning back. They are the very first and perhaps the most critical line that stance between them and the final chance in regaining their heritage and glory. Not to mention all the families and loved ones that are waiting and hoping for them back home.

This was all the motivation they needed, they could not lose, and by the gods and all the ancestors above they surely won’t.

Bakuss gaze hardened as the charging horde came closer and closer. A plan quickly forming in his head.

“LOWER THE PIKES ON MY SIGNAL, NOT A MOMENT EARLIER OR LATER.” He shouted, his mares and stallions responding with a collective “hoi” as there tightened their grips.

The Minotaur’s were getting closer, the details and carvings on their bronze armor becoming clearer and clearer to see with each passing second. Even there stench became much more noticeable for some.

This was it, they were almost on top of them.

Realizing that this was the moment Bakuss sharply turned to his fellow Zebra’s with one quick order in mind. “NOW, LOWER YOUR PIKES NOW.” He quickly barked, his voice easily echoing through the air despite the loud battle cries of the Minotaur’s.

Almost like a well-oiled machine, all of the pikes lower in complete sync with one another as both mares and stallion supported one another on their shoulders as they stood on just their hind legs and using both their front hooves to hold and keep the pikes steady and in line with one another.

This sudden and unexpected move was meant with fatal success as those leading the charge where both unable to react in time as their speed and combination of their great weight meant that they were unable to stop themselves before unintentionally impaling themselves on the pikes before them.

The first spurts of blood were drawn with the grounds of ancient white stone bridge being tainted with it. The unlucky first began to gasp and choke in their own blood as there impaled abdomens were leaking of their needed life fluids.

The Zebra’s responsible for their first kills retracted their pikes from its beddings as more blood spew out, causing those fatal first to fall over lifeless and onto the now crimson stained blocks below.

The after effects where imminent. Some of the Minotaur’s were shocked, not having anticipated these little Zebra’s where even capable to put up a fight. But that shock immediately gave way to unrelenting anger as those that managed to halt themselves were now more than eager to crush those that stood in their way.

This was just the start of the Battle.

They all moved forward, Axes swinging with vengeance in their eyes, only to be quickly halted and pined by the wall of sharp pikes presented towards them. If they get any closer they would easily meet the same fate as their fallen comrades. The Zebras now have the distinct reach advantage, even despite their bigger frames and double handed weapons. Direct force will just get them killed.

Their commander watching this from afar noticed this problem as he growled silently to himself in dissatisfaction. He never imagined that a fractured race like these Zebras were even capable to put up a fight. For the first time for centuries he is forced to approach this battle a bit more tactical. Their strength and size advantage obviously being out of the picture thanks to the tight formation and cooperation of the Zebra’s.

“You there, Captain, call you fellow berserkers back. If they wish to cover behind their long spears and round shields then let them, we might as well stay out of there reach as well and pummel them from afar. Send in the skirmishers.” He ordered.

The aforementioned captain nods before taking a horn from his belt and blowing the signal for the Berserkers to retreat, only to be swiftly replaced by a more lighter armed and armored force.

The key word here being lighter, even though these are still big muscular Minotaur’s we are talking about.

Bakuss immediately recognizes the new incoming threat as he once again turned towards his fellow Zebra’s.

“DUCK DOWN AND SHIELDS UP, QUICKLY NOW.” Was all he needed to say before the very first waves of Javelins left there owners, and just in time too as everyone within the first and second line managed to present their guard towards the incoming projectiles with the strapped on shields they were provided with.

Some managed to do their Job while others only barely managed to keep the hardened tips to even get through, while others even succeed in passing by the view gabs that presented themselves and hitting those behind it. Two Stallion’s immediately were unlucky enough to be in the direct path of those Javelins despite their best efforts, there carefully crafted steel armor doing nothing against the sheer strength of a Minotaur’s throw. They both cried out, as they both got pierced in both their shoulder and right hind leg respectively.

Not necessarily fatal but enough to get them out from the battle for sure. The mares and stallions behind them just managed to quickly drag these unlucky first back to the safety of rear lines before another volley of Javelins came raining down upon them.

Right now, it was nothing but a volley after volley as the brave Zebra guards were unable to do anything other than to keep close and maintain their defensive position. More got hit, some just in places like the shoulder or legs but some even managed to hit true by piercing through the helmets and killing those unfortunate enough in an instant.

Again, well-crafted Zebra amor was doing very little against the sheer physical force of the Minotaur’s

There was no time to even move their bodies, especially for those who didn’t get fatally hit in the first place. Some of those tried to still keep the shield up despite their pain and injury while for others it was too late. A second missile wave finally ended their struggles with those around them being forced to only watch as their fellow guards got impaled right in front of them.

Despite this dire situation all that Bakuss and his brave guards could do was hold out. The only sounds that could be heard around them where the constant hits of metal of metal, metal to stone or metal to flesh as some still managed to pass through their defenses. The cries of those unlucky were part of the sounds, same with the grunts and panting of those still holding out behind their shields.

The air was getting thick in the stench of sweat and blood, but beside that all they could do was wait, hoping that the enemy would run out soon.

For them it felt like an eternity, but despite their deadly situation the waiting eventually paid off as the continued onslaught slowly but surely started to wither. Soon the ammunition on the enemy’s side was exhausted with the skirmishers slowly treating back.

The Minotaur’s watching this were in complete surprise that these Zebra’s even managed to stay strong. Except for their commander who was more aggravated than impressed.

“Unbelievable.” He commented with a frown on his muzzle. “From pests to downright cockroaches. I hate to admit this but these sand-dwellers actually know how to take a beating.” He muttered as the depleted skirmishers passed by his line.

He growled, his patient having completely left him at this point.

“ENOUGH OF THIS, NOW THAT WE HAVE SOFTEN THEM UP IT'S TIME TO MOVE THE MAIN FORCE IN. CAPTAIN BLOW THE HORN FOR THE MAIN CHARGE. I WANT ALL OF THEIR HEADS AND THEIR KING IN A CAGE AT THE END OF THIS DAY.” He ordered.

The Minotaur holding the captain status did as his superior asked and blew his own horn. Signaling a full scale charge of ten thousand strong.

The large horde of well-trained Minotaur warrior didn’t falter as they all cried out there battle cries before charging down the bridge towards the well battered Zebra Guards. There spears and cow patterned shields held forward, hungry for blood.

Bakuss of course noticed this as he reattached his shield on his back before drawing his own sword in its place.

“HERE THERE COME, ALL FRONT LINE REFORM, CLEAR YOUR SHIELDS FROM THEIR BURDEN OR DITCH THEM ALL TOGETHER IF YOU HAVE TO. PICK UP YOUR PIKES AND REFORM THE PHALANX. QUICKLY NOW.” He ordered, something his fellow guards didn’t needed to be told twice as they all saw the incoming horde.

Despite being battered and bruised physically, their spirits and courage were still strong as they quickly did as they captain ordered. Picking up their pikes and quickly reforming their ranks, and with a loud in sync stomp and an equally in sync formation the Phalanx was formed once more. Ready to defend and to repel the incoming invaders.

“KEEP STEADY.” Bakuss instructed as the charge was getting closer and closer.

“REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR. IT’S FOR US, OR HONOR AND FOR OUR FAMILIES BACK HOME. SHOW THESE MINOTAUR’S THAT WE ARE NOT WEAK. MAKE SURE THAT THOSE WHO WILL BE SPARED THIS DAY WILL BE ABLE TO SEND A CLEAR MESSAGE TO THEIR DAMN KING THAT ZEBRICA IS OURS AND TO ALL WHO CALL IT HOME AND THAT NO ONE SHOULD EVER UNDERESTIMATE US. WE SHALL CRUSH EVERYONE WHO DARES THREATEN OUR WAY OF LIFE OR STANDS IN OUR WAY IN RECLAIMING THAT, WHICH HAS BEEN LOST TO US. WE ARE THE HAIRS OF A MIGHTY LEGACY AND JUST LIKE THEM WE SHALL SHOW THE WORLD THAT WE HAVE THE MEANS TO BE STRONG AND BE MORE VICIOUS THAN A THOUSAND DRAGON WHEN CHALLENGES. SO STAND TALL AND STAND MIGHTY BECAUSE WE WILL NOT LOSE THIS DAY, NEVER AND FOREVER.” Bakuss screamed the last word out, in a way he has never done before or even imagined to be capable off. Something inside of him has awoken something he didn’t knew that he had.

The spirit of a true warrior.

The entire army of Guards also erupted into screams after Bakuss heroic speech, all of them shouting and boasting their courage and vengeance into the heavens and curses towards the invaders.

Then it began, the final clash on the big bridge. Now the real slug was beginning.

The first Minotaur’s clashed onto the pikes with their shields causing those at the receiving end to be pushed back a bit. Though this initial show of force didn’t last long as the once leading the charge were soon forced in the defense. The long pikes of their enemy smashing and praying against their shields for any openings.

The Minotaur’s were used in fighting large scales battle with close and personal one on one engagements. This was just something they have never dealt with before. A Well-coordinated and packed force wielding oversized spears. It certainly didn’t help that they were also unable to get around this obstacle. The natural chokepoint of the bridge forcing them directly into the Zebra’s waiting pikes with no other possibly direction to take beside backwards. An option that would certainly cause a few heads too role by their commander’s hands if any of them would be stupid enough to even try.

So really the only path for them all was forward, right into the waiting wall of thorns and steel.

“What in the king’s name are they DOING?! Why aren’t they slaughtering these pesky equines and pushing on further.” The commandeered demanded, his anger and level of inpatient clearly visible and audible.

Their physical prowess and battle hardened nature is famous among those that have clashed with the Minotaur Isles before. So how come a disjointed, backwater nations of quadruplets is capable in besting itself with some of the finest and most physically intimidating race on this side of the world. The mere thought of this was just infuriating to the pride stricken and battle hardened commander. Even bother line insulting in certain levels.

The commander snorted. “Tell these calves to push in and double their efforts or I will make personally sure that the king is going to cut each and everyone’s horn CLEAN OFF. I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS, NOR WILL THE NOBILITY BACK HOME.” He demanded.

The message was immediately relayed to the forwards officers which got the intended effect. The Minotaur’s immediately started to be more aggressive on their push with both positive and highly negative results. With being ordered to use nothing but brute force to try and push through the Zebra’s defenses, meant so many things. Granted this more aggressive tactic could work in their minds when regarding their physical and numerical superiority, but that would obviously leave the warrior’s wide open for the defending Zebra’s on the second and third row which either end in his retreat or a swift death through impalement to the head or chest.

It also does not help their lack of experience that charging a well-organized and coordinated Phalanx from the front is an easy death sentence.

Overall their more aggressive efforts only promoted a more chaotic and of course costly attack. For every Zebra they managed to stick a dozen more Minotaur’s have to fall in price.

Even still, the Minotaur’s had numbers and size on their side, and it is clear that a Zebra’s endurance is far from endless, but unbeknownst them there spirits almost where.

At this point it was really just a battle of endurance for the Zebra’s. The Battle was hot and loud in between their ranks as their sweat and blood was stanching up the air while they all tried their best to block incoming stabs with their shields while also trying to keep other Minotaur’s at bay or help one with bringing a bull to the stick.

The line was starting to bend inward in the ever aggressive push of the Bulls. A rather dangerous development for the defender, but also for the attacker as well, as it meant that instead of having only to worry about their fronts, their now also have to watch out for their flanks as well. Places their large shields don’t protect or rather couldn’t.

Bakuss himself was busy trying to jab those closest to him. Having a couple of successful kills under his belt while also showing some cuts and bruises himself. In situations like these it's actually is quite advantageous to be physically smaller as it usually promotes easy passage through the tunnel vision and heavy focus from the bigger opponents, to cripple them on the legs or hit them on the lower abdomens. Others who have lost their pikes in this chaos also adapted to this tactic is trying to cripple those who aren’t paying them any attention. Easier said than done though, especially with more bulls backing up those behind them.

There really wasn’t anything else Bakuss could give orders about. This battle was now all about endurance and to make sure that the Bulls don’t break through. If that ever happens then the battle would be easily lost.

Some of the Minotaur’s even resulted in throwing their spears at the defender with immediate results, either getting blocked by the shields or hitting their mark and dropping another Zebra, forcing those behind to quickly fill the gap. That of course left the attackers with nothing but there backup weapon like a simple sword or war axe which has far less reach than the spear does.

At this point the Minotaur’s were beginning to have a rough time as there loses steadily increased, their dead piling up onto the pavement in front of them making precise movements rather difficult and awkward, even causing some to trip and fall with serious continuances.

The commander’s demand for a more aggressive push was now slowly and surely biting him and his forces in the rear. Their stubbornness to adapt and just use force on a strongly trenched in army was causing huge amount of unnecessary casualties on their side, and at this point it was even slowly speeding up as frustration started to kicking in.

A previously known battle hardened and strong race was being beaten by a weaker and smaller force.

The captains overlooking this battle were in a state of shock, watching as their forces were steadily killed off and pushed back. Even their traditional and prideful commander was looking at this chaos in utter disbelief.

“By the elders, what sin have we committed to receive this curse?” He muttered as the slaughter continued.

Though his disbelieve didn’t last long as it soon gave way to rage instead.

“No, I DON’T CARE IF THIS HAS SOME KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IN IT. IF MY OWN WARRIORS INCAPABLE IN DOING THEIR JOB THEN IT'S UP TO ME TO PICK UP THEIR HORRIBLE SLACK. I WILL BREAK THIS ARMY MYSELF IF I HAVE TO.” He shouted in absolute rage as he drew both his sword and axe from there holsters.

His pride was being challenge, and for a high class noble and warrior like himself there was nothing more important than his pride and honor, and as of now his pride was being heavily challenged and mocked for all the world to see. An insult his ancestry can NOT ignore. He can never return to the Isle as a loser, a disgrace which would forever relinquish the king’s faith in him and the respect of the nobility. He will finish this one way or another.

“Commander by all respect, we have to…” One of his underlings tried to suggest before being forcefully interrupted by a hand around his throat.

“You will all keep an eye on the situation, send in the rest and yourself if you must, either we end up killing every single one of those pesky Zebra’s or die here and now. Today there is NO middle ground” He retorted before marching off onto the bridge and towards the ensuing chaos.

Back in the battle things were slowly developing into the defenders favor.

“Captain behind you.” A fellow guard shouted. Bakuss didn’t even needed to turn himself around at the pointed threat as he instinctively rolled off to the side and narrowly avoid a strike from an especially large bull with a piece of a ripped of pike sticking against his side.

The Bull roared in utter fury as he quickly reeled his arm back for a second strike, only to be momentarily halted by a mare pushing her blade in the bulls back. That of course only enraged the massive bull even more as he tried to swipe the mare behind him, only this time receiving a sideways cut from a battered captain caused him to bowel in pain but still left standing. He immediately sweep his arm against the side of Bakuss head, causing the captain to be send backwards for a couple of meters before landing forcefully against a few of his fellow guards.

Bakuss quickly shook his head to get the pain and dizziness out his cranium, only for his dazed eyes to go wide when he saw the brave mare being held up by the throat from the same bull.

The mare was choking and badly struggling against the strong grip of the badly battered pull. Nobody was in a position to help her, everybody, even the once he just crashed into had other problems at their minds with their own fight to deal with.

With no time to even think, Bakuss forced himself back onto his hoof. Spying a recently slain guard with his pike still gripped in his hoof he quickly pushed the carcass away and silently wishing him a save journey to his ancestors before grabbing the still intact pike from him.

The bull was about to completely crush the mare’s windpipe when Bakuss with a large battle cry thrust the razor sharp end as hard as he could into the upper side of the Bulls torso, passing through the ribs, going through the lungs and eventually piercing its might hearth.

The bull’s eyes went wide as blood suddenly started to fill its maw. The grip around the mare lessened before completely dropping her. There was no cry or scream from the massive bull as its huge body just fell over with a loud and noticeable thud.

The mare was saved and he was dead. Not sure who this bull is or what his status was, but many that saw this might warrior’s demise enticed a sense of panic in those around him, causing them to abandon their post and started to back off. They were about to turn around for a full on retreat when a wealthy armored and royally pissed off Minotaur didn’t stopped them.

Without even saying a words he decapitated the closest Minotaur dishonorable enough to try and flee with one powerful sweep of its axe.

Bakuss knew exactly who this bull was. It was there leader who previously conversed with his king before the battle even began.

He looked obviously very unpleased in how the battle was developing for his forces and even less so that some had the audacity to turn tail and run. Even worse, after he executed his own bull his attention quickly fell on the still coughing mare. His rage filled eyes immediately going deeper at the sight of these pesky Zebra’s as he tighten the grip on his still untarnished sword.

Bakuss immediately knew the danger she was in and was about to intervene, but the fact that he was slowly sinking into exhaustion thanks to the constant fighting and the fact that the commander hasn’t even began to exert himself yet meant that he was far quicker on his strike then Bakuss was.

The mare’s eyes went wide in absolute horror when the finely crafted blade was bearing down upon her. Even more so when it finally ripped through her unprotected throat.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” Bakuss shouted as blood immediately began flow out from the mare’s gaping throat, adding to already crimson colored pavement below her.

She gasped and coughed for a couple of seconds before the last drops of life finally left her for good. Her body going completely limp as her eyes just stared off into nothing.

Bakuss was in complete shock, having just saved this brave mare’s life only for it to be taken away so easily right in front of him.

The one responsible just snorted, kicking the lifeless body away as if it was nothing.

Something inside Bakuss finally snapped when he saw this disgusting level of disrespect and disregard to someone who was just trying to defend her home. Hatred and anger quickly filled his vision as he glared death and vengeance towards the still oblivious commander in front of him.

He is the cause and reason for all of this carnage. He is the very head of this accursed snake, a head that MUST be cut off in order to finish this.

In his mind Bakuss was quickly turning from a Zebra to a roaring lion.

Picking up a nearby sword from another fallen guard he snarled and growled silently at the commander. The Minotaur commander managed to notice his challenge as he own rage filled eyes meets with Bakuss. Both knew that from that point on there was only one possible outcome. Only one will walk away from this alive while the other will meet their end.

Despite the continued fighting that was happening around them, the world mysteriously began to mute itself around these two as the only sound that was present for them was the audible breathing from one another.

It was just Bakuss and the Commander at this point, both eager to kill the other.

The one to make the first move was the Minotaur commander. Summoning in a large battle cry before charging directly at the lone Captain with both his sword and axe at the ready.

Bakuss did the same, charging down the bull with his words firmly griped in his teeth’s.

The Commander was the first to strike. Reeling the war axe on his right hand to strike down at the charging Captain. Unbeknownst to him though Bakuss mind wasn’t as blinded by rage as his was.

Spying a large wide enough gap between the commander’s legs he instinctively ducked down to avoid the sweep and slid the rest of the way on his back. Quickly letting his sword go from his mouth and snatching it in midair with both of his hoofs, before performing a vertical slice above him the moment he slid under the commander’s form.

The effects were immediate. His eyes widen as he stubbed forwards. The large gash Bakuss had given him immediately starting to bleed uncontrollably. His entire underside and inner parts of his legs were covered in his own life fluids as he fell down on his knees.

Bakuss of course took advantage of this by bouncing of the back of an oblivious Minotaur in mid slide and giving him some impressive air and pushing the bull off his hoofing and directly into the path of two fellow guards.

Rising the blade over his head with both hooves, landing on the commander's back and slamming the blade down as hard as he possibly could into the exposed neck, punching through his neck spine before easily going through the rest of the thick bull's neck, the tip eventually coming out the front end with a sick wet sound.

All the Minotaur leader could do is give off a grunt as he stared off into nothing. His beautifully ordinated armor being ruined in his own red fluids.

Bakuss huffed, holding onto the handle of the sword and keeping himself steady on his back with his back legs. His muzzle moving close to the commander’s ear.

“And so…the mighty have fallen. Go tell your king from the afterlife…that he ever thinks of moving his armies…towards Zebrica’s soil again…we will do the same thing… as we have done to you… Bakuss panted into the slow twitching ears of the Commander.

“Fair well then.” He whispered before retreating his blade and jumping off the bulls back.

The commander gave off one last gurgle before falling forward. His body giving off a loud thud and splash thanks to pool of blood under him.

This action alone finally broke what little moral was left inside the Minotaur’s army as many have witnessed the quick and humiliating death of their commander. With nothing left to really fight for and knowing that their losses were already too great at this point the surviving Minotaur’s simply abandoned their assault and retreated back to the east side of the bridge, only for the first line of Zebra to quickly put on the peruse, just to make sure that they do leave their lands while at the same time stabbing those to slow.

Knowing that this was finally the end of the battle, the remaining Zebra’s began to healthfully shout and cry out in celebration at this glorious accomplishment. Not only did they manage to hold their ground against a numerical and physically superior foe, but also managed to defeat them in an almost legendary level.

Many of them raised their pikes, swords, shields or just their bare hooves and began celebrating their victory. Shouting and laughing at what was left of the retreating Minotaur Army and encouraging those who were in peruse.

The level of Joy and relief the remaining Zebra army was feeling was indescribable. Many have never even experience true warfare before. So actually surviving and winning the day was nothing short of astonishing too many of their minds.

Despite his overwhelming exhaustion, Bakuss could still produce a small smile as he collapsed backwards onto the ground. Huffing and gasping for air as he just stared up into the cloudless blue sky above him. Even forcing what little strength he has left inside of him to remove his heavily battered helmet and casting it aside, letting his surprisingly long mane rest freely onto the bloody pavement below him.

He closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment of rest despite the celebration that was happening behind him.

He was just too tired to do anything else at the moment. He fully accomplished his duty for his country and its king, there is nothing left for him to do besides rest.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Up here on the cliff side was just as high as a celebration as it was down there. The moment the entire Minotaur army began to retreat was the moment when everybody began to cheer. Especially Susi, as she immediately went over to Akabar to give him a death hug while singing the praises of the gods and ancestors.

Akabar on the other end just smiled and let the mare be.

The simply servants and commoners who were in charge of the supply caravan also cheered. For everybody this was just a titanic achievement. So why the heck was I not partying alone with them?

Simple…because I was TOO BUSY BLINKING THE OVERDOSE OF CAFFEINE OUT OF MY EYES. That or I just forgot to blink at some point. Again, something that 27…or what it 34…mugs of coffee can do to you.

I rubbed my eyes. “For fuck sake…did I even drink so much?” I wondered trying to get rid of my 144p vision and trying to get it back up to 4k

This is what I get for not reading the manuals.

A servant suddenly came up to me, holding a tray with my novelty mug on it filled with coffee. She gave me a smile, asking me if I was interesting in another cup of coffee.

I just gave her a “are you fucking serious” kind of looks while knocking my index finger against my skull. She thankfully (for her) immediately got the message and quickly retreated with an awkward smile.

Normally I would be unable to say no to such a nice gesture but I obviously I was obviously on the brink of madness…well TOTAL madness to be more precise, that not even mentioning the problem of sleep that I will most likely encounter later tonight.

Wonder if these Zebra have Chloroform?

That’s when Susi had to show her hyperactive face. “Isn’t this amazing your highness? Despite all odds our forces still managed to pull out a win thanks to your training method and weapon designs. If this won’t send out a message like you have planned then…” Susi began before I interrupted her.

“Yes, yes I know. I can hear it in your tone and celebrations that the Battle was a total success. Too bad that I kind of spaced out somewhere in the middle of it duo to an overdose of Caffeine.” I explained while rubbing my eyes again.

The only thing I vaguely remember was an image of Willy Wonka the Cookie monster and some talking Mercedes…that’s it. Not sure what they accidentally mixed into that Mug of mine, but…I won’t complain if they gave me that mux again. I always wanted to visit that Chocolate Factory for myself, just so that I can try and steal it away from Willy.

I am going off topic again aren’t I?

I blinked a couple of times before giving myself a well-deserved slap in the face. Need to focus here.

“Anyway, I think it’s about time to go down there and access the damage.” I declared with a raised finger.

I didn’t even bother to wait for a response before I simply walked off, passing by the two mares still strapped on my chariot and shooing them off. I just feel that in a sign of respect of those that have most likely fallen in battle that I should approach them by foot rather than wheel.

Plus I am suffering from a serious case of pins and needles in my legs for standing still so long. Need to pump some blood in my already under trained legs.

Akadar quickly hopped off from his cart and approached me at the beginning of the slope. Telling me that he wishes to have a closer look at well so that he can start counting the casualties. Susi of course being to ever so vigilant mare that she is was obliged to follow the over enthusiastic Monkey king down to the planes of Hades.

Why Hades? Well dead bodies.

Thankfully the path down the cliff wasn’t really that long otherwise my natural senses of laziness would have kicked in and I might have actually called for two pulley mare to come and get me. We eventually made it down to the still celebrating force at the foot of the bridge. Some managed to notice us and quickly stopped what they were doing. Others around them eventually noticed this and did the same. A lot were of course confused at the sudden presence of both their king and tenders to their pantheons, but besides that they all somehow knew what was going through our minds as they all parted, giving me and the my two companions a straight path into the mass body pile that practically decorated one fourth of the bridge.

It was only then when the reality of war kicks in.

Susi predictably flinched at that sight while Akadar just stayed stoic. I on the other hand just kept casual as I walked through the path that was provided for us. The guards curiously looking at us as we passed by them, all keeping silent.

The further we moved past the ranks the more obvious of their struggles became. Perfectly shined and well-kept armor and equipment were steadily sporting more and more bumps, cuts and even of course blood stains, most noticeable on their pikes swords and even shields. We even passed by a couple of guards were here supported by one or two of his or her colleges thanks to a bloody or broken limb.

I was slowly feeling guilty for having…mildly passed out in the middle of their life and death situation. I should have at least shouted “Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole” for a sign of support.

What? I am part German which means Football is the very first thing that would come to mind. And yes I am referring to the one sport where they ACTUALLY use their foot.

Then we finally reached what was left of the front lines, and it was only then when the carnage finally became one hundred percent clear. Not just by look but obviously by stench as well. Dried and fresh blood, mixed in with the sweat of both living and decomposing bodies. The heat of the desert doing incredible wonders on freshly slain carcasses.

The massive losses the Minotaur must have suffered were blatantly obvious, even more so when personally standing in the mitts of it. But what quickly got my attention the most where of course the dead of our own guards and just how many there were.

Not as overwhelmingly numerous as Minotaur’s but still noticeable.

Akadar immediately went to work in trying to get a number out in just how many casualties we have suffered while Susi was busy giving off save journeys to those she can recognize within the dead. I on the other hand just looked at the aftermath of the battle.

Honestly, I would have never imagined it to be THIS bad. I have only ever seen such images in either games or movies, but actually seeing something like this with my own eyes can be quite thought provoking. I mean I am probably just beating around the bush here but really, I got nothing to directly say to this without making myself sound really cheesy and unoriginal…or disrespectful to those that scarified their lives.

I am an ass but not THAT kind of an ass.

These are just a real life consequences of war. Unlike in games or movies people's will actually die while fighting.

War, War never changes, and I don’t care if I am ripping off Fallout because that statement is still true.

While wandering around a bit my gaze eventually fell on a particular Zebra body. This one being a mare if her smaller muzzle and obvious eye lashes were anything to go by. Her throat was slit, an immediate recognition and cause of her demise, but what was really draw my attention where the lifeless open eyes staring up into the heavens.

Kneeling down beside her body I did the very first thing that flashed through my head, gently closing her eyes for her. She looked fairly young, certainly younger than even compared to Susi, which makes her death even that more tragic and also somewhat more heroic than it normally would.

Being so young and still volunteering yourself for the defense of the nation deserves nothing more than the highest level of respect, even more so when considering the fact that I would have most likely be facing the other way instead, because going yolo in real life is just too crazy and stressful, even for me.

Also dangerous.

“Your highness?” Akadar suddenly called out as he walked up to me.

I got up and dusted myself off, giving him my full attention. He just handed me a scroll which I curiously took. I opened it and…just frown. “Note to self…need to learn their alphabet.” I thought to myself before handing it back to him.

“Can’t really read your Zebra alphabet.” I pointed out as I gave it to him.

He just nods in understanding. “Forgive me then. Let me just tell you what the casualties numbers are.” He announced which caused me to rub my chin in interest.

“Already? Well that was quick.” I commented.

He just looked down at his notes before replying.” With the help of some of the other guards I managed to get an estimate of around 900 dead. What the death count of the Minotaur’s are is still unknown though. But by just looking around I can easily tell it’s a lot higher than ours.” He explained before gesturing to the pile of fallen bulls further down the bridge.

I moved my lips from left to right and hummed. These must be the dead of the first who charged head on into the Phalanx. Not sure what enticed these bulls to charge dick first into a wall of pikes but whatever. Their pride, inexperience and idiocy towards a Phalanx is our win for the day.

Do not question the convenient.

My gaze fell back on the mare I just gave my last regards too before looking back out into the carnage, from Zebra bodies to bulls. For starters it was obvious that we are going to take the dead with us so that they can all receive a proper ceremony and burial with their families and love one by their side. Though what about the honored dead of the Minotaur’s? Granted their where the enemy and a major part of the reason why these 900 brave soldiers of ours lost their lives, but just like ours they are just soldiers too. Trained to follow the orders of their superiors. They just did what was ask of them and so they did, it’s really not their fault but rather their duty. In fact, the true blame always belongs to those higher up on the food chains, not just for their aggression but also for their incompetence of letting them charge head first into a Phalanx in the first place.

Or at least that’s the impression that I am getting here when just looking around myself. Again I was high on Caffeine for most of the Battle. Which also just reminds me.

“Where Bakuss of the capital B?” I asked out loud.

“I am here your highness.” I heard him reply from somewhere.

I of course began to look around myself, only to eventually spot him getting up behind a rather large and rather recognizable bull.

I puckered my lips and mild surprise when I first saw his hair. “Damn, thats some Fabio level hair right there. How did he kept that shit tuckered in inside his overdressed tin can?” I thought to myself as he fully got up.

He too had a lot of cuts and bruises here and there, not just his armor but his skin as well. It clear that he too was very active during the battle, especially when seeing all those blood stains in his fur.

He rubbed his head tiredly before ducking down and picking something up. His helmet from the looks of it before trotting around a couple of bodies and making his way over to us, although a bit clumsy.

I can tell from just looking at him that he was utterly exhausted. His half lidded green eyes and his access breathing, and of course, that long Fabio hair, seriously I cannot get over the fact that he hid all that hair under his helmet this entire time. How come he hasn’t suffered from a head stroke yet, his brain must be cooking in there.

This might be the wrong thing to focus one, but whatever, it’s better to focus on THAT then all of those dead bodies around me.

Talking about dead bodies. “Akadar, could you please go ahead and instruct those from the rear most lines to start collecting all of the bodies for transport. You should be able to understand the reasons as to why.” I instructed while looking at him.

He nods. “No problem, I was about to suggest that course of action myself. All of these fallen souls do deserve a proper ceremony back at the city for their heroic sacrifices.” He confirmed.

I stopped him before he could trot off though. “Oh and also tell them to collect the Minotaur’s as well.” I added which in turn caused Bakuss to look up at me in both confusion and…slight anger?

“What why?” He demanded. “Why would you care for those that kill so many of our kind?” He continued with a stomp of a hoof.

Bias much. I was kind of expecting such a response to come up from someone but certainly not from him, or that kind of tone. Guess this battle did more than just exhaust him. Not sure what he did or what he saw while I was out…beside a lot of peoples getting killed left and right. But still, turn down your Bias here.

I raised both of my hand in a calming gesture before answering. “Well simple, I doubt that their men are ever going to come back for them, so instead of leaving them all here and stinking up this bridge, we might as well collect them all and give them their own proper rites as well, via bonfire of course.” I explained which seemed to do nothing to calm him down.

“Rite’s? I saw their leader kill an injured and defenseless mare in front of my very eyes after I just saved her. Not just him, but I observed the same act of heartless murder being done by many of his bulls as well. I don’t know what kind of honor they seem to uphold, but what I saw where warriors turning into nothing but brutal killers.” Bakuss ranted, his tone getting louder with every word.

“Well not sure in what world you live in but when it comes to survival a lot of instincts will kick inside someone's mind, instincts that easily undermined all kinds of self-honor and fairness.” I thought to myself. But at the same time I can kind of understand on what he is getting at here.

He just wanted to do his best in protection those who needed it, and watching that fail or get snatched away from despite his best efforts does summon up some physiological effects in someone's mind. Especially for someone who has never seen war before. The first time is always hard, and that logic doesn’t only extend to war. I mean, having sex for the first time is hard too…for a woman at least.

I rest my hands on the hips. “Bakuss, you seem to forget that these bulls here were just ordinary soldiers like you. Soldiers who are just following their orders and believes that has been pumped into their brains from their superiors. Granted they did eventually began to fight more desperately, but really who wouldn’t try to do everything just to survive when their very lives are on the line. A lot of morals go automatically out the window when such scenarios are presented themselves to someone.” I explained, but I obviously wasn’t done as I continued. “Also, if you truly need to be pissed off at someone then aim it towards their leaders. King, generals and so on. They are the once responsible giving out the orders and placing these ideas into everyone's head. Again, all they ever did was follow orders.” I finalized by crossing my arms.

Bakuss after that looked rather thoughtful, before calming down and sighing. My logic having clicked inside of him. Yes, yes I know that there is vastly more complexity in play when it comes to the true bad guys in a war, but really all I wanted to do was calm the stud down. Plus I also wanted things to develop quicker so that I can finally leave this god forsaken desert and get back to civilization.

All I can hope for is that this victory has managed to send out a message to the known world and that I…or rather we can enjoy some peace and quiet for a while. Well especially for me as this has most likely ruined my weekend.

This still leaves one pressing issue unsolved though, the still ongoing project of re-unification. When that is done it would certainly be a lot dumber for an outside force to try and Challenge us. If I can create such convincing results with just five thousand dudes and/or gals and one simple military intervention, just imagine the military power house I can ejaculate out of the sand with a whole race under one banner.

These guys have already proven themselves to be excellent in fighting, cooperation and discipline. I am not saying that I am already dreaming about glorious conquest and campaigning to extend our sphere of influence, but still, one can just wonder.

With nothing else to do I just clapped my hand as a sign of finalization. “Well then, with all of this resolved and done let’s just get to work shall we? First off put everybody who isn’t ready to drop death from exhaustion to work on setting up our camp. We don’t need walls or a ditch around the camp as I doubt the minotaurs will be back, but just to be certain put sentries around the camp, send some patrols to scout the area and put some on the bridge. Send the wounded to the medical posts. After that give the soldiers some food and give them some off time. Starting tomorrow morning I want the soldiers to start collecting the honored dead. Ours first and after that we will do the same for the deceased minotaurs.” I declared, before kneeling down to Aka to whisper something. “Also to get an accurate number in just how many have died on the enemy side I want them counted before they get burned on the pyre’s as well. I would love to have a comparison’s in just how effective my plan was.” I added in which he just nods.

With everything said and done I casually made my way out of this murder field and back into less tainted ground, not just because of the smell but also just for the sake of getting away from it. Again, seeing a pile of dead bodies in game compared to actual real live is a major difference. Certainly a good enough reason as to why I left Penelope back at home in the first place.

Talking about a certain red and orange dragon, I wonder how many rooms she has put to the torch already now that her two normal caretakers are on vacation?

Chapter 13: Victory in War Replaces the Internet

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Chapter 15: Was für eine "Hornige" angelegenheit

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Chapter 16: A "CHANGE" of Plans

Chapter 16: A “CHANGE” of plans

Edited by: Samellan

“Well, this is it.” Aku announced as we all halted in front of a blank wall.

I scratched under my lower lip at this. “Let me guess, is this one of those secret door thingies that every Indiana Jones movie has?” I questioned, which in turn made Aku nod.

“Well, I may not know what an “Indiana Jones” is, but yes, you guessed right.” Aku answered which made me purse my lips in interest.

“Ooh, a perfect moment to play the Indiana Jones theme then… oh, wait, I don’t have that song in my cellphone. Curse past Alex and his inability to remember downloading the Indiana Jones song.” I randomly commented, flailing my fist angrily in the air.

Aku, on the other end, didn’t waste any time in feeling out the surface of the sandstone wall in front of us, for some indentations, most likely.

He began to mumble to himself as his hooves moved over the rocky surface. “The first stone must be here somewhere.” I heard him quietly mutter.

He eventually managed to come across exactly what he was looking for as his ears perked up. He pressed down against a sizable block, which caused it to recede into the wall. A couple of clicks and clanks echoed through the hallway afterwards.

He repeated this action a couple of times in some kind of a pattern. Each and every block he pressed made the same mechanical clicks and grinding sounds as the first as each and every block slowly receded into the wall. Making it look like a giant block of cheese with rectangular holes instead of circles.

Now there is an idea for the future. Cheese made with square holes instead of round ones. This idea will surely make me rich.

Either way, soon the entire wall shook and rumbled as dust and debris were shook off of its cracks. Nothing happened afterwards, then the entire wall began to recede into itself before splitting in the middle and sliding away to opposite sides. Similar to your basic sliding doors at your supermarket, only more primitive and a lot dustier.

The sight that greeted us just made me frown. “More bloody stairs?” I exclaimed with two outreached arms. ”I already had to climb a bunch just to get here.” I complained, waving my hands above me.

And that was just for DESCENDING the stairs, mind you. Imagine me having to CLIMB all of them back just to reach the kitchen or bathroom up at the above ground floors.

Elevators. Elevators shall also be on the to-do list of innovations to introduce to these horses. How will I power them, someone might ask? Easy! Magic, that’s how. No confusing science or overengineering required, just whip out magic wand from your pocket and spray some well needed magical goo on it. BOOM, working elevators finished.

Bakuss, for the first, time could only agree. “I have to agree with His Royal Highness here. These underground dwellings have a very unhealthy number of stairs just to reach all of the underground vaults. Try to carry some Idols, relics and whatever else treasures placed down here on a daily basis with nothing but stairs to lead you. A bit inconsistent in terms of practicality.” He commented, which in turn made me think.

“Never really thought about those interesting issues myself, but whatever, in either case, he actually has a point here to point at with his big pointy point.”

That is one good pointy point, I tell you, better than any knife tip or needle.

Aku just raised an eyebrow at the captain. “Well, if not stairs, then how would you try to get to the lower levels, then? Ramps, lifts?” He questioned.

Bakuss immediately shook his head. “Never mind, my apologies, High Shaman Akunezzar, for my inappropriate comment. I guess, I have still a lot going inside my mind, thanks to the Battle. I really haven’t had enough of time to just sit back and reflect on myself and my actions back then.” He explained with a low bow at the end.

Aku just waved it off. “It's fine, I understand. Taking so many lives for the first time is never easy. Even if it is your duty to do so.” He reassured, which in turn just made me mentally note to give poor ol’ Bakuss a vacation too.

AFTER all of this here is done, of course. Then I will send him off to a tropical island to gather his thoughts just so he can return later with a much more focused mind and a much better desire to do all of my work.

It’s all about scattering the responsibilities, peoples. The less I have to do myself, the better… for me and Penelope, who has at some point fallen asleep in my arms, not to mention dropping her pillow somewhere on the way here. Which is good, less nibbling and more focus on watching my steps. I almost tripped and fell because of her.

I would have clapped my hands right about now, but I obviously couldn’t, so I just opted to be the first to move down this foreboding descent into the abyss, forcing everyone else to follow. Even the two Gazelles we blindfolded and took with us to the vault.

Why blindfolded? Well, because Aku didn’t want a pair of outsiders to know the locations of the underground vaults. I was far too occupied trying to keep Penelo from nibbling my good nice shirt to really pay him any attention at the time.

Priorities, peoples, priorities as they are dictated.

“Wait, Your Highness, won’t you be needing a torch to go down there?” Bakuss quickly called out as I took my first couple of steps into the unknown.

I just scoffed. “Nonsense, just follow the stairs down, and you don’t have to worry about getting lost. It’s one way, anyway.” I casually responded while continuing my descent.

“Plus, a torch won’t really do much good for two blindfolded Gazelles, anyway. So, just follow me, so that we can find this whatever doohickey, and be one our way for the next assignment. Time is money, after all.” I quickly added.

I could hear Bakuss groan behind me, before a set of hooves quickly followed suit. Him and his guards herding the two Gazelles down the set of steps much to sisters’ displeasure.

“If you all didn’t want us to see where this super special vault of your is located, then why the heck didn’t you just left the both of us back in our rooms? That would have been way better than this stupid nonsense.” Mystic Gem complained as I continued my lone descent.

I simply grinned.” Well, then it wouldn’t be nonsensical and funny.” I thought to myself.

“Well, okay, I shall just wait up here and wait for your return. I am obviously not the young fellow anymore to be climbing so many steps.” Aku called out, which sounded like a really basic excuse to me than anything else.

You can’t fool the king of excuses, my dear old Aku, no, sir.

Either way, the trip down into the underworld was certainly a little bit darker then I would have personally liked. Seriously, who designs underground passageways and NOT adds any serious methods of illumination in it? “pfusch am bau” is what this is called.

Eine anzeige, Eine anzeige an der bau agentur ist fällig.

“Well, here we are, I would guess that this is the vault door.” Bakuss suddenly perked up.

This, of course, brought me back into the moment, as I was swiftly greeted with another of those big metal doors that looks way too heavy for anyone to pull but this Zebras, anyway. I didn’t really paid as much attention back during my first vault trip to see how opening such massive doors would actually work. So, maybe NOW I should do that and see if this metal door is shit that can actually be moved physically.

“Alright, you two go and pull the doors open, I will keep close to the king and the two prisoners.” Bakuss instructed.

The two appointed guards nodded, before stepping over to the huge ass door and grabbing the handles with both of their hooves.

I was fully focused, with Penelo just snoring away on my arm, and with Bakuss actually lightening up some wall torches with a flint, there was nothing that shall prevent me from focusing on the door and learn all its “Eiserne” secrets. No, wait, I am doing it again… focus, damn it!

And not a moment too soon, as the two studs immediately began pulling on the door handles which caused a… ahhh, so THAT’S how they can open these huge ass doors. From all the clanking, grinding and springing, it obviously sounded like that these doors are mechanically assisted.

That very much explains the hidden strength of opening these thick metal doors. Now I want to know the mechanism as well. Wonder if Aku has something is his big ass library of his. I need to ask him when all of this crap is done and when I can finally enjoy my break before the next ass has to come by and ruin it.

Anyway, the anticipations were all sky high as the doors were slowly pulled open. Images of more gems, gold and the last resting of the Arch of the covenant were flashing through my already giddy mind. You can never be too rich, in my opinion, more loot means more room to breathe and more “experiments” to do and to fund. Not to mention improving infrastructure, trade, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea.

My enthusiasm immediately shattered when I was allowed my first glimpse into this new and unknown vault.

I think I even heard actual glass shattering somewhere within this room. How strange indeed.

“What the heck, this bloody thing is just as poorly illuminated as the rest of this place.” I openly complained which in turn caused little Penelo to stir in her sleep.

Bakuss stepped up next to me with a light held in his hoof. How this works with hooves I will most likely never know, but hey, I have completely different problems to fry at the moment than questioning the physics of a creature’s stub ending appendage. Like… how about the fact that there is a good chance that nothing golden or shiny is stored within this underground bunker? If there was, then this entrance wouldn’t be as depressingly black as it is now, all of that gold would have started to shine and shimmer at this point. Similar to the treasury vault up above when we first opened it. Granted, the halls above were WAY better illuminated than this whore’s dark asshole, but still, at least a tiny twinkle of gold would have been nice, or anything that can make me feel even more future proof than I already do. I can be quite horrible with money when I see something that I so desperately want.

Just look at my mug and this shirt as an example.

“Well, seems just as dark as the rest of this tunnel.” Bakuss threw out the obvious, which in turn caused the less mature side of me stir.

“Indeed, that’s what she said.” I answered before stepping closer to this dark mess.

It was just nothing. Nothing was even remotely visible from where I stood. Again, killing any notions that this place is harboring more gold for me to make it roll. But I digress, there are many more aspects of valuables that can be considered besides just hard on coin. Like secret scrolls or more of that magic sapping crystals that Liuanda first had. The possibilities are endless here, especially when it involves things that would make life a lot easier for me. Maybe I will find a dwemer like robot butler in there, built by the previous Ape kings.

“Wait here. I shall check this vault out myself and see if we can bring some more light into this matter. You two, on the other hand, keep an eye on our two friends here and His Highness.” Bakuss first suggested and then instructed, which in turn caused a certain doe behind us to scoff.

“Friends? Well, if this is how you Zebras treat friends then I clearly wouldn’t mind skipping to see what in Tartarus you would do to your enemies. Certainly nothing as pointless and degrading as this, I am sure.” Mystic Gem complained as she rattled her neck chain a bit to make her point.

Ah, yes, they were also linked together with those neck chains besides JUST blindfolded, forgot about that.

Anyway, the two appointed guards again just noded at their captain’s request, while Bakuss did his thing and directly challenged the darkness with his dinky little torchy.

At first there was nothing, until a very ominous click sound echoed through the halls, followed by the turning of gears or any other mechanical doo-dads. Everybody froze, especially Bakuss as he looked down at where his left hoof landed in front of him.

I, on the other hand, just shook my head. “Tch tch tch, rule number one, always watch your steps when exploring long forgotten places. Something I always knew thanks to Indiana Jones, Tomb Rider and the Uncharted series.” I openly criticized.

I was seriously expecting some kind of spikes or a massive turd ball to roll out of from the shadows, when something unexpected happened instead.

Lights suddenly began to appear from the far end of the vault, some kind of lamps, if my sharper eyesight isn’t joshing me. One source of light eventually became two, before becoming three and rapidly continuing on as row upon row of lamps began to light up in sequence, getting faster and closer towards the entrance before one final flash forced all of us to shield our eyes. Not the Gazelles, though, for obvious reason, and not Penelope too, because for an infant she is quite the heavy sleeper.

Again, no fucks given from her.

Brilliant, I wonder what other similarities she will learn next. Maybe a deep love for cheese or coffee like her old man? The cheese would be fine, but coffee would have to wait until she hits puberty, or something. Last thing the staff needs is a hyperactive flamethrower.

“Well, that certainly solves the light problem.” Bakuss openly commented as we all, minus the drake and the does, opened our eyes to have a first proper glimpse into this new world.

And wouldn’t you know it, it is exactly how I originally imagined it to be, minus the piles of gold and gemstones, of course.

“Oooh, es ist eine rumpelkammer” I commented out.

Truth be told, it really was more or less your basic storage room, only WAY bigger and with much more natural looking walls that looked more chiseled out then mined.

The chamber was full of shit, ranging from pedestals upholding something behind a glass dome, ordinated boxes, trunks, crates, or just random clatter on the floors and huge ass shelves lining up the walls that were stacked to the brink with either scrolls or ancient looking tomes. So many scrolls, in fact, that I am pretty sure that this room was first conceived as an underground archive before someone had oh so clever idea of using this space as his personal hoarding ground. The mess is clearly visible, even from here, and ESPECIALLY from here.

I certainly required a much more in depth look at all of this dusty junk, in hopes to determine which of these countless crates and boxes are holding either ancient secret weapon, or maybe even the launch codes for some hidden hydrogen bombs.

In fact, what the heck I am waiting for, it is high time to finally let the dogs loose as well.

I turned my attention to the still lost and confused sisters behind me. “Well, this is it, the secret underground vault under the other secret underground vault, which is secretly hidden underneath the Palace. Let these two loose and guide them into the vault. It’s their Idol so let THEM search for it. Plus, they might actually know what that thing looks like, unlike us.” I instructed two guards.

The aforementioned guards just gave me a quick bow before executing their given task. It was then when I heard the telltale sign of Bakuss’s hooves stepping closer to me, right as these two were in the middle of unlocking their neck braces.

“Not going to lie, I am not really into this idea of yours in letting these two outsiders roam free inside a super-secret vault that hold gods knows what.” Bakuss commented to me.

I just scoffed. “You worry too much, Bakuss old house. When has any of my previous decisions and choices ever backfired?” I answered which in turn made Bakuss just sigh.

“That’s the thing, how long will your blind judgments last before something DOES eventually backfire on you? You cannot keep the fates challenged like this forever.” He explained.

He might have a bit of a point there. Wonder how long I can keep this train rolling without having to shovel more coal into the boiler.

Yeah, I am going with the old style trains here.

The blindfolds and chains were removed, which in turn finally gave the two sisters the freedom that they so demanded. Well, mostly Mystic, as Steppes hasn’t said or complained even once since this whole trip started.

Their eyes immediately went wide as they, for the first time, gazed at the now opened and fully illuminated grand “Rumpelkammer”. That’s what I dub it now, similar with the treasure vault above, being now dubbed as “the stationary wallet”.

I grinned before gesturing towards the large mess. “Well, go crazy, you two, it’s your Idol, so that means it is YOUR job to go and find it. I certainly won’t bother to do it myself.” I announced with a raised finger.

That didn’t do much for their part, though, as two simple continued their goldfish like impression for a couple more moments, before both of them seemed to reorient themselves back to their mammalian state.

Because a goldfish isn’t a mammal.

Mystic Gem was the first to fully collect herself as her gaze pretty much fell onto me. “Wait… so let me get this straight.” She began while stealing a quick glance back at the vault before focusing back on me.” You are telling us that we can just choppily doo freely inside that oversized storage cave of yours in hopes of finding the lost Idol that have been stolen from our tribe almost a millennia ago?” She questioned.

I just nodded, while Penelo unconsciously began to nibble on my shirt again, which I also unconsciously thwarted. "Well, yes, as I stated, I can’t possibly be bothered to sniff through all of that junk myself. I am a far too comfortable individual to be bothered by such a time killer. It’s your doohickey, so go fetch it.” I answered, being fully and brutally honest about my thoughts for a change.

Seriously, just the thought alone just makes me want to crawl back into my bed. Just look at the size of that room, let alone all of the shit that occupies it. I can’t be bothered to search through all of that. I still have to give a certain baby dragon her late afternoon dinner. Not to mention getting mine as well.

I am in the mood for some Mushroom soup today, a desire that has been blatantly ignored after I came back from that battle. Had to get all of the soldiers back to the city with their fallen comrades piled on large wagons, even though I wanted to first visit the mushroom cliffs myself and grab a couple of samples for me to take home.

Even I am not immune to the “Think with your stomach” syndrome.

The two Gazelles seemed a bit hesitant at first, before Bakuss pulled one interesting idea from his sleeves.

He sighed. “Listen here, if you two go search through the vault yourself and possible find your missing piece, then there would obviously be no more reason for you two to be imprisoned here. You two will be free to go, even with some added compliments of rations and gifts from the king to take with you on your journey.” He suggested which in turn caused me to quizzically look down at the stud.

“I am?” I asked, which in turn caused Bakuss to nod.

“Well, yes, I mean, it’s part of your usual random and unorthodox ideas, is it not?” He curiously asked, looking up at me.

I just rubbed my chin and pursed my lips in thought. Truth be told, this does sound like something I would do.

Bakuss is learning, dangerously quickly. I need to dial up my nonsense to 44 if I want to keep him on his toes, or hooves in his case.

Why 44? Because I like the number 44, followed by the number 8.

I raised a finger. “Indeed, as Bakuss has stated, you shall receive all of that and whatever else he has cooked up in his little tin can of a head. Your ticket to freedom is your own Idol, so skedaddle.” I instructed.

Little Steppes continued to seem a bit unsure, but her sister seemed certainly a lot more enthusiastic. She didn’t waste any time in trotting past us and directly towards the vault. Steppes swiftly noticed that as her eyes and ears went high.

“Wait, sis, we can’t just trot into the king’s vault like that. Hey, sis!”

I simply grinned before turning myself around on one heel and casually making my way towards the vault myself. Bakuss, of course, followed me as vigilant as ever, after he instructed two reminding guards to watch the entrance. To be honest, I am not even sure if the Idol was even in our possession. I just wanted to have an excuse to further dodge my responsibilities before dinner. Plus, and I just figured it out, these two would secretly do me a favor by searching through all of this junk and seeing if there was anything interesting down here that might pique my curiosity.

I will most likely just look at a couple of crates and pedestals before getting bored again. Remember, I still can’t read any of their shit here, so those scrolls might as well be worthless to me.

Where is Google Translate when you actually need it?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
(Somewhere in one of the Guestrooms inside the Palace.)

“I can’t believe that we have to keep guard while a mare and the thing are having a… intimate relationship in there.” A random ass guard commented with an annoyed sigh.

The faint and muffled moans penetrated the thick wooden door, despite the fact that his ears where pretty much covered up by his own helmet.

He turned his head towards his colleague for any input on this, only to find him still standing next to him as if he hadn’t heard him.

The stallion frowned before giving his better half a soft clang against his helmet. This did the trick, as his partner finally turned his head to look at him.

“Huh… was there something you said? Sorry, I have stuffed my ears full with some cotton while you were trying to listen in into the action.” He answered casually.

His partner’s frown just deepened before he shook his head, letting him know that there was nothing to say.

It is hard to be the only single one of his division.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Don’t worry, Princess, your mother might be the Queen, but we are personally loyal to you. So don’t worry about us selling you out when you still decide to leave your room.” A changeling guard instructed as he and a couple of others escorted the young Princess to her chambers.

The Princess, on the other hand, has mostly kept to herself while still rubbing the sore spot on her cheek.

She knew the risks, but it still didn’t reverted her belief after her confrontation that what she did was the right thing. She just felt the need to sympathize with those who have been forced to abandon everything that they ever possessed under her mother harsh policies. They obviously had nothing to gain anymore within the hive, so allowing them out to try their own luck up in the outside world just felt sensible, and who knows, maybe by letting them roam freely up above might get them some well needed inside of the ongoing events in the upper world. Such insights would certainly help when trying to slowly introduce her hive to the races that live above.

For millennia her species has been living deep within shadows, deep underground, hidden and isolated from the rest of the upper world, only ever interacting with the upper races with the use of drones to collect food and resources for the Hive. Her kind has been constantly seen as nothing but animals, monsters with no sense of intelligence or culture. A great misconception that can be easily debunked by just looking around.

Finely carved and chiseled walls, banners hanging from the ceilings and artistic paintings on the walls and pillars that depict the tale of this hive. These are all obvious signs of an advanced and sophisticated society.

They were far from savages. They are a very interconnected and cultural bound people. They may be feeding on the emotions of others, but still, she wanted to prove the world that they can also be reasoned with, and the opportunity of a new major ruler up above might grant her that. She knows that her people were in a desperate need of food, and only the upper world could provide that. If first contact goes well, then she could certainly build a relationship with them and maybe even ask Zebras for help with the ongoing tyranny of her oppressive mother. She may be her daughter, but even her own fealty towards her mother’s was slowly deteriorating from her ever decreasing sanity, which only got worse when she tried to tap more magical energy from a strange looking statue that had been in the Hive’s possession ever since she was a nymph.

It wouldn’t take long for her to connect the dots. The dots of her own slowly lead to treason.

The Princess finally looked to her guards as they reached her chambers. “Thanks you for your understanding, Sergeant. But I don’t want you or your fellow changelings to risk your position or even your lives just for me. I know what I am doing.” She explained as a yellow hue enveloped the stone made door handles as they approached.

The door slowly opened which finally gave the Princess access to her own chamber. She stepped in, giving her escorts a kind smile before closing the door. Once she was all alone, she could finally let her mask fall.

She slumped down against the door and began crying. The pain in her bruised cheek finally registering within her clouded mind. And it wasn’t just physical suffering, her own emotions were branching from this heavy burden she now has to carry around as well.

The burden of having to go against her own crazed mother. All because of some weird and unknown Statue that was thought to be able to generate magic from nothing, a statue that her mother needed to overthrow the previous Queen.

She continued to cry for a couple of minutes before she finally managed to collect herself. She needed to stay collected, if not for herself then for at least her own changelings. Granted, her say so in the eyes of her own mother and even the nobility were extremely limited, but that doesn’t stop her to at least try. Try to make a difference and try to do what is best for her people… for the common changelings as those are the only ones for whom she is more than just a trophy.

All of those different courting encounters she had to suffer through with some nobles, just cringeworthy.

She got up from the floor, wiping her eyes and brushing her wings clean of some dust before looking around. The many moments she had to spend here thanks to her mother were just depressing, but not discouraging.

The fine chiseled rock walls, the decorative carpets hanging from them, and the smooth stoned and also carpeted floors. There was also her bed at the center, as well as a desk with some personal knick knacks she collected over the years behind her mother’s back. Items that are mostly came from the outside world far above her. A world with open skies for a changeling to fly around with no care in the world.

It was then when she realized once more how truly isolated she was right now, with her mother getting madder and more paranoid every day, with all of the changelings she came to know and shared some love with having either been cast out by her mother for alleged treason or were forced to escape to the above world. She even heavy heartedly assisted one of them to the exit of the Hive. A childish, but still simple male drone named Talltale. Named as such for his constant rambles of made up stories and explorations.

Some thought that he was just crazy and acting out of his age and position, but she kind of found his attitude charming. Certainly something completely different compared to the more common changeling.

But anyway, with all of this, it was pretty clear that she was all alone now, more so when she finally became of age only for her mother to deny her honor. Which is why she still has the same simple changeling eyes every changeling has instead of the pupils of a future Queen.

What was even her position now?

She just sighed, moving over towards her desk and plopping her flanks down on the large pillow in front of it.

She reached out to one of her personal items and examined it like she always would just to pass the time. The item she plopped of its resting place was nothing more than a small stone carving of some upright looking ape, but to her it was more than that. She always harbored a healthy interest and curiosity of other cultures other than her own. The sheer diversity of the outside world always intrigued her. Especially since she had only been up there for at least 3 or 4 times of her entire life, and now, with unexpected events happening up above, this particular ornament was of the greatest significance to her.

She knew the name and looks of many races that populate the upper world, thanks to her tutors and moments spent reading scrolls and even having personally seen some of them during the few times she sneaked up to the surface. But this, this certainly is a creature that she had never read about or ever seen before. Neither personally nor in any illustration. The local Zebras up above seemed to know the most about it, though, similar to her mother, as she tried to get rid of one of such beings in fear of his presence alone ruining all her plans.

She didn’t know how a single creature can move the wheels of change so dramatically, but who was she to know. The locals above are (or so she heard) very keen about this creature. Claiming it to be some kind of a leading figure of their past. Truth be told, she does know that during her great grandmother's rule the Zebras possessed a much larger domain then they have right now.

She is just generally in the unknown about these beings, what powers they might possess and what role they had to play in Zebra society. None of these questions even remotely diverting her fascination with all of it.

She sighed again before returning the small statue back to its resting place. Granted, she had more items and tiny pieces of art from other races cluttering her desk, but considering her current situation, the ones related to the Zebras are obviously the most interesting right now.

As much as she wanted to look more into her own theories and ideas, she obviously had other things to do first. The first ever physical hit she received from her mother was very much a sign that a point of no return has been reached. Not for her mother, but for herself. She might still be her mother, but even she isn’t blinded by the path that her mother is trying to steer the Hive into.

If she isn’t restrained or downright stopped soon, then there really wouldn’t be any victors, and certainly not the Hive. The above dwellers would just get an even greater reason to shun and hate her kind, something that would make getting food even more difficult.

She knew that Changelings feed on love and love alone, but her mother’s idea of permanently fixing the whole food issue forever just seemed unethical at best. Such sudden… emptiness of a land would surely involve other cultures and races noticing, which in turn would eventually lead back to her Hive and possibly its destruction. There is a clear reason why her kind has been “secretly” hiding in the shadows for as long as recorded history existed.

The Princess once more felt the fresh scar that her mother gave her. The pain, the denial of her honor and the ever growing threat of a possible civil war? At that point she made up her mind. She needed to somehow confront her mother without risking the lives of more changelings. She needed to do something, and she needed to do it quickly.

She may be little in power, but she was still the traditional heir of the throne. Most of the nobility might be entranced by her mother’s ideology, but she knew one changeling noble that would listen to her pleas.

“Cyrus” She thought to herself before getting back up.

She immediately cleared her desk, stashing her collection into a hidden compartment behind her desk before making her way back towards the door. She opened it with her magic, allowing the rock heavy handle to unlock itself before pushing the door open. The guards stationed on the other side gave her a curious look.

“Well, this didn’t took too long, now did it? We heard you cry in there, Princess Palmyria, was everything okay in there?” The guard questioned, which caused Palmyria to shake her head.

“I am… fine, Sergeant.” She responded before continuing. “I need to talk to Cyrus, any idea as to where he might be confined at?” The Princess questioned.

The guard tapped his chin in thought, before looking back at the Princess. “Well, I think he is momentarily occupied back in the Hive Archive. I know so because he usually go there after every throne room meeting.” He answered.

Palmyria smiled. “Thank you, Sergeant, I shall be on my way, then. Just act as if I am still inside in case my mother strolls past these halls. I won’t be gone for long, I am sure.” She assured.

The guards just nodded before resuming their usual guard post.

Not wanting to tempt fate, Palmyria immediately took to her hooves and made her way directly to the Hive Archive as pointed out.

The halls were eerily empty as the Princess strolled through them. Besides a few guards stationed here and there, there really weren’t any other changelings traversing these halls. It was, again, quite depressing to see just how lifeless things have slowly became here. She still personally remembered how ordinary changelings and drones just used to traverse these tunnels on a daily basis when she was just a nymph. Those days, though, seemed to be long gone, as most of the common citizens are just too afraid of the Queen’s ever increasing anger and madness to step out of their dwelling. This is just further proof for the Princess’s mind that things need to change or her Hive might truly end up starving itself to death if no emotions besides fear and depression are being circled around.

The trek to the Archive took a lot longer than the Princess would have liked. Having spent most of her time making sure that none of the loyal nobles were nearby, or, even worse, her own mother. Going as far as to mask her mental signature to not accidentally enter the hivemind which her mother has full control of twenty-four seven.

Her own thoughts would be as open as a book if that ever happened.

She eventually reached the mentioned Hive Archive after having to descend a long and wide set of stairs. The Archive halls themselves were separated by a rather large set of two granite doors that again can only be opened by magic.

Palmyria lit her horn up and focused her attention firmly on the double handles. She gently pulled on them, which caused certain runes to light up around it before the two sets of doors began to rumble and shake quietly. The doors began to slowly part ways and recede into their respective sides of the wall.

Once it was all done, the Princess continued on and finally entered the Archive. The room was looking as grandiose as an Archive should. The walls were all carved out into shelves filled with scrolls and old tablet stones with all sorts of records.

Again, there was nobody here as well, which was to be expected. The Archive was generally only accessible by either the nobility or the Queen and those related to her. Which is good, as finding the changeling she was looking for would make it a simple breeze. Not that there are any breezes felt deep underground, anyway.

Truth be told, she did manage to quickly spot a single changeling. And judging by its mane and longer tail, it certainly was a noble if she ever saw one… and she damn saw a lot of these ‘lings in her entire life.

She approached with care at first, trying to determine if this was truly Cyrus or not. She could have also used her hivemind link to probe his consciousness but that would obviously risk her getting noticed by her mother, so the more traditional method was her only option.

When the changeling suddenly turned and revealed a scar on his left eye, she sighed in relief. There was only one Noble she knew of that has a scar on his face, and that was none other than Cyrus.

She knew from his stories that he once used to be a forward Obsidian guard during his younger years. Exploring and exploiting the deeper cave system that lead further into the underworld that is rich in precious minerals, but also housing some of the nastiest creatures that you can find in these parts of the world.

Cyrus got his scar by covering his squad’s retreat.

She approached the early middle aged changeling as he was busy reading a scroll that he held in his magic. Palmyria almost jumped out of her wings in surprise when Cyrus suddenly began to speak.

“I am truly sorry for what has happened back in the throne room. I heard the scolding and slap from our Queen. It must be hard to be treated like that by your own mother.” Cyrus commented, still keeping his gaze focused on the scroll.

Palmyria shook her surprise out of the system before focusing back on the old ‘ling. From his tone alone, she knew that she could trust him.

“Sir Cyrus, I… I have came here to talk to you about something.” The Princess began, which ust caused the veteran to roll his scroll further down to the next section.

He nodded. “Sure thing, what can this dear old changeling assist you with, Your Highness?” He responded while again keeping his gaze fixed on the scroll.

The Princess sharply inhaled through her nostrils. This was it, this was the moment to decide, if she does this, then there would obviously be no more turning back at that point. She would be dedicated, losing everything if it somehow backfires on her. But really, what was more for her to lose, anyway? She is just seen as a trophy for most, and she would just have to spend the rest of her life living in depression and existing in this awkward situation of being a royal changeling… but not really, at the same time.

And then there where all of the common ‘lings… still hungering despite her mother’s grand goal to eliminating that issue for good.

No, she has to give this a shot.

“Sir Cyrus…” She began. “I want to somehow stop my mother from causing more damage to our Hive. I need help to do it, though. I obviously can never even dream about standing up to my mother alone. I know that you are noble, Sir Cyrus, so please… if my decision goes against your ideology, then please, just keep this situation between us.” She pleaded, already imagining some form of rejection or downright criticism from her nymphhood godfather.

She was almost at a brink of panic when Cyrus immediately froze after she explained herself. She thought of the worst, that she made a mistake, that he was still going to sell her out to her own mother simply because he was secretly loyalist, after all.

All those thoughts, all those ideas and feelings of dread immediately evaporated when she saw him slowly turn his head towards her with a curious, but, surprisingly, also knowing look in his crystal like eyes.

He lowered his scroll. “Well… well, then. Seems it already has gone so bad that even her own daughter is starting to fully turn against the Queen. To be honest, I was actually just patiently waiting for you to finally come around after having seen you help all of those changeling escape the Hive after it was decreed to be in maximum lockdown. A quite noble and courageous move of you, I have to say, Princess. You certainly have grown to be quite the changeling when I was still looking after you at the Queen’s behest.” He chuckled, which just made the Princess look at him all surprised and confused.

Then it hit her. “Wait a minute… does it… does this mean that you…”She stuttered which again just caused the old ‘ling to chuckle.

“Well, yes, those rumors everyling are hearing about of a staged incursion are certainly not false. You do seem to forget that I used to serve under your grandmother’s rule during my guard days right before her own daughter took power by challenging her for the throne. I certainly miss the more simpler times of the past, I also have been actively helping some of the oppressed out to the surface while also still keeping in touch with them from time to time. They have all disguised themselves and are just living normally among the outside dwellers.” He again explained which was just becoming more shocking to the Princess then it already was.

She would have never guessed that someone as noble and loyal as him would be secretly plotting against the crown. But then again, thinking about it more carefully does make this concept plausible. Especially given that he used to serve under the previous Queen prior the sudden succession.

Plus, he was known to be the common changeling’s changeling as well.

Palmyria took a few moment to think this over once more. One part of her was still hesitant, but a much larger part was finally ready to spring into action and finally contribute or at least try for a possible change. Because what’s happened right now can only lead to more fractures in their already dire situation. The Hive needs food, and right now the one changeling that is, ironically, preventing that, is her mother and her madness.

The choice was clear for the Princess. “I’ll do it, even if it is my mother, I can fully understand that her ambitions and demands are too great of a strain. She focuses all her efforts for power, but completely neglects what makes the Hive truly function.” She explained with a look of determination and final resolve.

Cyrus just nodded, proud of the little nymph he once knew. She has came a long way in his opinion. From the dreaming and naturally curious nymph to a strong and possible contender for the throne, someling who truly understands the nature of changelings.

He eventually returned the scroll back to its previous resting place before giving the Princess a gesture to follow her. She just nodded, following her old father figure.

The two eventually disappeared around a corner as a yellow flash illuminated the space for just a brief second. After that there was just silence, the room devoid of any life.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“No, No, and no again. I don’t even know what all of this junk is.” Mystic complained after having searched through another chest for like the hundredth times of the day.

She was obviously getting frustrated, a feeling that only increased when she looked around herself and still saw thousands upon thousands of chests and boxes to look through.

I was personally to busy looking at a rather interesting looking depiction of something that looked like a giant Scarab, I say giant, because it also had the depiction of a Zebra right next to it as some sort of scale. The Zebra was tiny in comparison to this insectoid.

Might have found myself a replacement for War Elephants if I could ever get my hands on those Starship trooper like beauties.

The original, not the god-awful sequels later on.

I could hear yet another chest being kicked open right next to me as I stashed the scroll into my pajamas for safe keeping. I turned my gaze to the source of this commotion and was not surprised to see that it was Mystic who smashed herself through the old locks. Ever since she opened the fiftieth chest open and was once again disappointed to see nothing that even remotely matches description of their missing Idol, she had begun to simple force her way into the boxes for speed and efficiency’s sake. Bakuss was, of course, against it, until she responded by giving the Captain the most malice filled death stare I had ever seen on her face.

Not sure if she knows, but Bakuss actually managed to forget to bring that Final Fantasy rock with him after he escorted the two over to the throne room. An epic fail on his part, but also a clear indication as to why he quickly backed off afterwards and let her do her thing.

I curiously watched her rummage through this chest as well, before her movement suddenly froze with her eyes going wide. I was honestly thinking that she had finally managed to find that old doohickey of theirs when she pulled out something long and golden.

My own eyebrows rose as I immediately noticed its overall shape and suspicious curve.

“Well, look at that, they do have dildos in this sand infested land. Even the superb expensive type as well, if it’s truly made of gold like how it looks.” I commented out loud which in turn made Mystic Gem’s cheeks go red as she viewed every girl’s best friend resting in her hoof.

It was even modelled after an equine dick as well. Must have been some kinky Queen or Princess that once owned it.

Mystic Gem, on the other hand, immediately threw the item away while going back to searching in the same chest she just found it in.

Her bad mood and overall frown fully disappeared from her features.

She can have it, if she wants.

Chapter 17: Where is my Bloody break when I need it?

Author's Note

Just a little heads up before hand. I want to apologize for the "Ramble-ness" of this chapter. But I just couldn't help it, I just head so much BS in my mind. Though I will promise that the plot will continue to go forward in the next chapter.

This one here just establishes something that will be focused on for the next one. Now I am not sure when Alexander can finally start in dealing with the Gazelles and continue his search for the crown, but I guess that we could all kind of agree that the changeling are a much bigger problem right now. Fix that one first before dealing with the other.

Hope you guys still enjoy it...I mean you all probably do given that the main character is all about rambling anyway.

Chapter 17: Where is my Bloody break when I need it?

Chapter 17: Where is my bloody break when I need it?

Edited by: Samellan

“Your Highness, Your Highness!” I heard someone call in a muffled tone, accompanied by some good old fashioned door knocking that just makes you to want to rip the door right off its hinges.

I groggily began to stir in my king sized bed as the fabrics of “Awake-ness” are once again blanketing over my own sheets of mental fantasies and delusions, or simply called dreams for people that don’t like mouthfuls.

I tiredly opened my eyes, feeling the grime parting from my eye lids. Once halfway open, I looked over at the bronze made clock next to me for some better orientation as to what century this is. The rather stylish clockwork was reading 30 minutes before 12, which, in my opinion, was WAY too early for me to even get up, thanks to yesterday’s debacle.

I somehow managed to misplace two baby bottles that were specifically made for little old Penelope, which meant that we either had to find them before dinner or just go ask the guy who made them for a second batch.

Knowing how life likes to operate around me it’s not too hard to imagine which option was eventually taken in the end.

Anyway, after a long back and forth to find those gosh darned glass cylinders, a new set of bottles were quickly made and brought to me, which finally allowed me to bring Penelope back inside, as her grumbling stomach was producing flames with every rumble.

She really is a living walking flame inferno, which is why I even decided to keep her in the first place.

I always wanted to have flamethrower as a kid… for no maniacal reasons, of course.

Either way, I digress. It seems that despite my own body’s protest, duty still calls, as I forced myself out of my cocoon. I sat upright on the edge of my bounce castle and smacked my lips before scratching myself first on the back and then on my ass, in that order.

We all have our morning rituals to uphold, after all. A very important exercise to perform every day, followed only by breakfast in terms of importance.

I would have loved to continue scratching my sitting muscle some more as it had a very specifically nasty itch this morning, but the constant knocking persisted despite that.

I groaned. “Yes, yes, I am up. Don’t smash your head through the door… that’s usually my cousin’s job. He likes rollerskates, but sucks at them.” I called out much to the satisfaction of whoever was abusing the poor woodwork.

Because it stopped, which, in turn, allowed me to focus on the still sleeping dragon in front of me. Penelope was adorably chewing on her blanket, wrapped up in a nice ball.

The concept of soccer immediately entered my mind when I saw her like this, but quickly banished it as it came.
I doubt kicking scales is as smooth as kicking a rubber ball, plus, I still have some more morning rituals to perform before I can even start with such activities, also, changing my Pajamas for another pair of Pajamas would be required as well.

“Got to lay an egg.” I told myself before dashing off to the bathroom.

My personal toilet still needs upgrading, which is thankfully planned for today while I am off too fuck about for the day.

Because, like every other day, I might actually come across something, or someone, to do the work for me, which, in turn, allows me to fuck about in the first place.

I like my coffee stirred, not shaken. What this has to do with going to the toilet, I have no idea, but, I guess, it’s because that coffee is generally brown. The same color as shit, when you think about it.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Mystic Gem was not a happy doe as she continued to pace around the room, which had been their place of stay ever since they were let out from their cell by that crazy and nonsensical monarch.

But none of that really offered any level of relevance to her, as she had completely different problems to worry about.

“We searched EVERYTHING, the entire damn Vault, and yet all we have managed to find were a bunch of old Gazelle art pieces, ancient weapons, and some old horn duster, but not the very item that we have been sent here for in the first place… minus getting that crazy King back to our father for… whatever reasons.” Mystic announced as she continued to pace around the room as if she had a bee stuck up her ass.

Or something similar, who knows.

Little Steppes, on the other end, just kept to herself on her side of the bed, mentally reflecting on the things they have found so far in that underground Vault. So far, as her sister stated, it were mostly just hoarded items that really didn’t offer any significance to either them or the rest of the tribe as a whole. Those small crafted gold statues and accessories depicting their race in many artistic forms were just that, accessories or decoration you would see in Chieftain’s halls or ancestor caves. Though, one particular item did catch the young doe’s attention, which she also brought with her by the Captain's permission.

It was an old scroll, written in old and traditional Gazelle hieroglyphs. A type of stylized writing that has been lost to her kind for almost a millennia, with only the lore keepers or grand elders still keeping its traditions alive.

If this particular map has any significant secrets described on it, or some other form of long forgotten knowledge, then her tribe’s Lorekeeper might be able to decipher it. If not, then such a find would still be highly appreciated, since a lot of these old scrolls have found themselves lost from the ages.

Most of which have been taken or destroyed by the Zebras in the past, when they still dominated the lands, her race’s included. This was also one of the reasons as to why they were sent here in the first place, to get the new King, stop a potential reunification of the Zebra tribes, and to prevent such an act of genocide on someone else’s knowledge and culture to ever happen again.

From what her tribe’s Lorekeeper had taught her, her species used to be more than just simple nomads and tribes wandering around the great Savannahs of the south east.

They actually possessed cities their own, along the east most coasts of the continent. Cities that no longer stand, thanks to the ever present decay of time.

She just continued to reflect on those pools of past knowledge herself, while her sister, on the other hand, just continued to grumble to herself for having wasted all of that time and effort in a cold and dusty looking Vault, only to come up empty hooved.

Well, almost empty hooved. She at least has this scroll that still needs to be brought back home.

Little Steppes eventually sighed. “Why don’t you just lay down and doze off how you normally do ever since we got moved to a much nicer environment compared to the cell. Beating yourself up about this now won’t make the Idol magically appear out of thin air.” She suggested, much to Mystic’s already annoyed demeanor.

Mystic just snorted. “And then what? Do I need to remind you that we CAN’T really return without either the King or the Idol tied behind us? The level of disappointment and shame that will follow afterwards would be almost beyond repairable. Even if you personally don’t care about viewpoints, you know very well that our tribe is highly traditional.” Mystic retorted, which Little Steppes only has to agree on.

Returning back to the tribe completely empty hooved would certainly raise up a lot of problems for these two. Especially given how proud of a stag their father is.

But, they had an ace, an ace that she was holding onto.

“Maybe, but we still would have something almost as equally of importance as getting the King or the Idol.” She announced before presenting the scroll. “This ancient scroll, written in our forefathers language is just as valuable. A relic from a times where things weren’t as black and white as they are now.” She explained.

Alas, her older sister seemed unconvinced by Little Steppes’s statement that this simple piece of paper could still be used as a ticket back home, because, despite their failure, they were still given their freedom back, and the permission to leave the city whenever they wanted, which would have been great, if the whole “Idol still missing” debacle still wasn’t a thing.

Again, returning with none of the two requested items that her father and the rest of the elders demanded from them would still be disappointing at best, and downright shameful at worst. Especially in regards to the Idol.

No, she will not go back without at least having the Idol strapped on their back, and that is final. That piece of tissue can uphold the very secret of immortality itself, and it would still be not as important as the Idol itself, an item that was almost at the very center of Gazelle culture when it was still in their possession, not to mention the honor and acceptance of their father.

Its situations like these when traditions can really be the bane of everyone’s existence. This whole situation just reeks on all corners, and given how smell sensitive Gazelle noses are, it ESPECIALLY reeks top grade.

In fact… it was literally reeking inside the room, when Mystic actually took the time to give this suddenly appearing stench a curious sniff.

She immediately gagged. “By the GODS, what in our father's name is this horrible smell? Smells like an army of Rhinos suddenly decided to defecate all at once on top of a long rotten carcass of a dead Giraffe that has been steaming too long in the hot Savannah sun. What could possible produce something so spicy?!” She complained behind her hooves in a vain attempt to keep the stench away from her nostrils.

Curse their sensitive noses. The stench can still be easily recognized behind her hooves as well.

Little Steppes was confused at her sister's sudden gag and outburst, before her own inbuilt radar managed to detect the attacker as well. Same with her sister, the results were almost imminent.

“What the… where the heck is this stench suddenly coming from? How did it even got in here in the first place?” She gagged as well, before her eyes quickly spotted and opened window in the far left corner of their room.

It must have been opened by one of the Palace servants when they were most likely cleaning this place, while they were out and off in an underground chamber.

She immediately pointed at the open window. “The window. Quick, close the window before more of this spicy reek can get into this room. I am sure that the smell must be coming from outside.” Little Steppes instructed.

Mystic Gem didn’t needed to be told twice, as she immediately rushed for the window to close it. And, true to her sister’s words, the stench really did came from the window. The stench almost becoming unbearable the closer she got to it.

She swiftly punch slammed the window close and even took the time to close the curtains in front of it. Mystic sighed, the smell was obviously still inside the room, but now, with the shutters closed and its source basically cut off, it meant that it had finally some time to naturally dissipate on its own. In fact, the entire air inside the room immediately felt a tad bit lighter the moment Mystic slam-dunked the window.

Crisis averted, for now. But one question still remained within the sisters’ mind.

“Where and how in the ancestor's name did this stench come from?” Mystic wondered out loud, which her sister could only agree on.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I sighed with a huge and satisfied grin on my face as I exited the bathroom.

“Ahh, already feeling 5 kg. lighter. Note to self: Don’t eat baked beans and cheese for dinner. Such consumption of dairy and bean based products at the same time can lead to some horrible gas production inside your intestines.” I told to myself as I rubbed my hands together with glee.

Also, yes, I have used “Kilograms” instead of pounds to guess my current weight loss. Why? Because the metric system rules, and the outdated and horribly optimized Imperial system that the land of the Mormons and scientology still uses SUCKS!!!

Oh, it suck so hard. Why their thick headed and arrogant government is not actively changing their jarring measurement system, I have no idea. These guys might possess the most powerful and most advanced military in the world, but their tiny population of over 300 million is just laughable in comparison with the rest of the world’s 7.3 billion. Over 7 billion of them use much more convenient and simple to understand metric system. So, go take your armies and nukes with you to the corner, cry your little baby and thick headed eyes out, while we go smash that Imperial system you love so much to tiny little pieces.

Don’t force me to come over there once my epic empire building days are done. Your nukes are NOTHING compared to the power of magical rainbows and skittles, mudahfukers. I have it all in spades over here, even Donald Trump’s cheap blond toupee he bought from a cheap one dollar store isn’t going to shield you from my metric system inquisition.

My hair might not be blond, but at least it’s REAL, in comparison to his. Plus, brown looks great, too. ALSO, early “mornings” are a great time for my erratic and unrelated thought process to do what it does best. Be bloody erratic and unrelated. Something I would have LOVED to continue, if it wasn’t for the knocking to once again return to the forefront of my psyche, which, of course, sucks, as it automatically forces me to remind me of my ever important responsibilities of being the freaking King.

I grumbled to myself, before looking back at the door from where I stood. It’s actually a pretty darn good thing that I remembered myself to open up the bathroom window to let my aftermath wash out. Such nasty surprises might have come in handy for scaring off my duties.

Either way, I simply resigned myself to MORE work, and made my way over to the door to begin the day. I unlocked it, opened it, rose a curious eyebrow at the sight, before finally remembering what all of this was about.

Besides a guard, there were also a pretty happy looking mare and the bug horse thing next to her, who, in all sense and purposes, looked off to the side a bit awkwardly.

All if it became clear though, as the mare next to him gave him a loving smile, which he was forced to return, with a blush, of course. I grinned, while stroking my chin, knowing that my “experiment” was a total success.

Enemy spy made talk-able through sex. Suck on that load of sausages, you CIA noobs.

Plus, I might have also gained myself a new underling as well, judging by the momentary spark they both shared. YES, more cogs for my GRAND machine. An Empire needs a whole bunch of people to build, after all.

I already knew what the obvious subject was, but I still decided to openly question it anyway, just because this guy in front of me was still “NEW”.

“Well…?” I questioned with extended arms.

The guard bowed before replying. “Your Highness. The servant that you have instructed to “pacify” the intruder for questioning has accomplished her task and brought the assailant back to you for questioning.” He announced, all of his explanation being painfully obvious.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. I can see both the bug and the mare myself, standing right behind you. Great job.” I responded, leaning a bit towards him.

The guard beamed up at that. “Oh, well… thank you, Your Highness!” He smiled, which just made me frown.

“I was being sarcastic.” I replied.

“Oh...” was his response before he looked down at his hooves.

I just shook my head, then went back inside to grab a cookie from the cookie plate that was brought in a day prior, and placed it onto his hoof as I returned. He looked at the cookie first in complete confusion, before looking back up at me with a questioning look on his armored muzzle.

I placed my hands against my thighs as I responded. “Well, it’s a cookie. Take it, it’s yours. Also, you can go ahead and take the rest of the day off, if you want. If anyone from the upper food chain ever asks, just tell them that the King gave you a cookie. They’ll understand.” I casually explained with a raised finger in the end.

He just tilted his head in further confusion, before just nodding and trotting off down the hallway with the cookie still firmly balanced on his hoof.

I just let him be as he was, while finally switching my attention back to the still waiting wannabe couple in front of me.

I clapped my hands to get things started, as I usually do. “So… about the bug horse…” I began, before the mare suddenly interrupted me.

“A-actually, Your Highness, his kind are called changelings, not a bug horses.” She informed, which was a rather useful info, I guess.

“And…” I leaned forward, giving her the “go on” gesture.

She did not disappoint. “Also, they are capable of both flight and magic at the same time, with their horns basically acting similar to a unicorn ones. In fact, their magic is actually mostly specialized in changing their appearance into almost anything that is similar to their size or overall autonomy. Like, being able to morph into a Zebra, including the change of size and shape of… certain body parts.” She explained, her cheeks turning a bit red when she mentioned the last part.

Her companion didn’t fare well, either… which went completely over my head, as I was more surprised about the fact that a simple servant like her was capable of speaking and understanding so many biological phrases about autonomy and whatnot.

Hmm… I think, the whole monarchy thing is slowly getting into my head at this point. Already starting to think like a pepped up aristocrat, which is fine, because I will most likely forget about it, anyway. Like everything else that is not deemed really important for my overall grand plan.

But, I am just thinking myself back into a corner here, and besides that, it really doesn’t take a genius to determine what she meant about “Certain body parts”. Or, maybe, I am just a dirty minded individual? Who knows? But, then again, who secretly isn’t in this modern age?

The Internet, people, the freaking Internet.

Either way, back up onto the roof and out of the gutters. “Very good job there, young…”

“Oh… uhm… Dahla, Your Highness.”

I puckered my lips a bit in satisfaction. “Well, anyway, good job there, Dahla. You're surely did the crown a great service in making this… changeling, was it?” I questioned, which Dahla nodded to confirm. ”Well, yes, as I said, you did a great service in making this changeling here talk and “extracting” a lot of necessary information out of him. I am sure that you wish to tell me all of your unique experiences yourself, but I wish to talk to this changeling in person. You can just confirm if what he is telling me is true or not.” I casually explained.

She, again, just nodded, while her companion just kept quiet beside her. He seemed rather awkward, but at least not as hostile as he was when I first met him. Which is good, less boners and more serious talk here.

Need to find out who this guy is working for, and if I can convince his boss to work for me instead. The grant machine needs more cogs, after all. The more cogs, the smoother the overall machine will run. On the flip side, it would also mean that said machine would be needing a lot more oil to run smoothly and a lot more maintenance to run correctly. But, whatever, let this be future Alexander’s problem, and not mine. For now, give me all the cogs you could muster.

Anyway, I was momentarily thinking about going over to the throne room to continue with this subject there, until I realized that the walk over there was somewhat long and tedious, and that I also just remembered how BIG this place really is.

After for, like… honestly I didn’t paid attention HOW long I have stayed here. But, besides that, I must have… maybe only explored 40% of the Castle in total, which obviously means that there was still a whole lot of rooms and halls I haven’t been to yet, which, again, just punctuates how BIG this compound really is. And I have been doing A LOT of walking around in here already, mostly aimlessly, mind you, if I don’t have an escort to escort me through this escort-able Palace.

But I am just getting distracted again… as usual. Just go ahead and ask the questions right here in my room, and do not worry about pulling my lazy ass over to the oversized heavy bronze couch which is also elevated on another short set of stairs that I don’t wish to climb right now, for more personal reasons rather than practical ones. Plus, court is now being handled by the High Council instead of me, so, really, only the most important decisions and news are ever being brought directly to me.

…No, I had absolutely NOTHING to do with implementing this kind of system just for me to be lazy some more. Nope, never transforming this into a constitutional monarchy.

ANYWAY, BACK TO BUSINESS!

I moved away from my door and made a hand gesture for these two to get in. Of course, both of them seemed hesitant at first, just like everyone else I tried to tell or invite into something. Which, in turn, always forces me to be more “verbal” about it to get my ideas across better.

You know what they say, a King’s word is Law if there really isn’t anyone else to uphold power or law.

“Well, just get in. Or do you two prefer we discuss his, or, rather, YOUR…”I pointed at the changeling. ”…race’s secrets and whatnot right here?. It’s either that, or step into my office, which is also my bedroom, by the way, but you get the idea.” I pointed out with a rolling hand gesture.

This, of course, finally did the trick, as the two love doves walked past me into my humble abode. I suspiciously looked left and right from the hall, just for the heck of it, before retreating back myself and closing the door behind me.

Both Dahla and the Change-a-ling were looking around the room in shameless curiosity. The changeling in particular seemed to be the most interested in his new surroundings, even more so when he eventually spotted the still sleeping drake in her crib.

He seemed a bit uneasy at first, but all of that quickly changed when his girlfriend decided to step closer to Penelope.

The aftermath was quite obvious, because nothing happened as the mare simply stared down at Penelo with a smile on her face. Really, what the heck do people expect?

I made my way over to a desk with a chair and turned that thing around to face the couple. I sat myself onto the artistic butt-supporter and began to clap my hands… quietly, to get their attention.

Time to start this, just so that I can take Penelope out in the garden to annoy some Palace guards later on.

What can I say, I get easily bored sometimes, especially with no Internet or cousins to entertain me. Or, heck, even an egoistic neighbor to flare up my mood.

I decided to open up this discussion myself, because why the fuck not. Especially when, from the looks of it, neither her, nor boner raising gay face seemed to be in any interest to starts this verbal back and forth anytime soon.

So, let the crazy one start first, because that automatically makes the most sense, especially for me. “So, tell me, Mister Changeling. What is it with you and your race’s presence within the city? Are you all in some undercover conspiracy of overtaking the city? Are you, perhaps, just gathering information for another faction that I don’t know of but still hates me and the Zebras for whatever reason? Or are you all just a bunch of dumb tourists that first saw this place in someone else’s vacation card and then thought to yourself “Man, I want to go there too, it looks very hot and… sandy over there”, or something like that?” I rapidly questioned, before leaning back, reminding myself to breathe.

I did just that, taking in some well needed air to prevent myself from experiencing oxygen deprivation within my noggin. Not that it would really do any damage in the first place, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

“Well, which of these three options it is? I bet it is option number three, just for the sake of simplicity, of course.” I quickly added, leaning forward a bit.

The Changeling in question gave his other half a curious look, which, in turn, got him a rather kind and encouraging smile from the mare, which, in turn, AGAIN caused the ‘ling to sigh, before looking back at me.

Those blue and pupilless eyes are just so refreshingly different, I have to say.

“Well, I was actually a spy working undercover for our glorious Queen, and also hunting down deserters that have abandoned their Hive and are now, more or less, dwelling with you, upper worlders. My job was simply to either take them back to the Hive, or quietly “dispose” of them, if they ever caused too much trouble or risked our operations up here.” The ‘ling explained, which, at the end, caused his wings to buzz a bit awkwardly on his back.

Why? I don’t know, probably because of the fact that he is somehow being so chill about getting all of that information out of him, despite the fact that he normally shouldn’t.

I mean, I certainly don’t care what the heck he feels. As long as he tells me everything what I wanted to know. It’s all homie in the hood, yo. So very good and shit.

Getting my black gangster vibe going here, for no real reason whatsoever.

ANYWAY… this, obviously, isn’t all I wanted to know from him. There are obviously issues about this Queen of his, the possible location of this underground dwarven kingdom that they have going, and also as to why there are ‘lings defecting from whatever government they have going on down there in the first place.

Couldn’t possibly be as bad as the DDR or…,God forbid, North KKK Korea, but hey, beggars can’t be bloody choosers, after all. Beggars rather steal, and secretly act as both the eyes and ears of both the Thieves Guild and the Gray Fox himself. But I am just thinking of a different franchise here, and, in fact, a whole different universe entirely.

Back to topic.

I scratched chin in thought, while said arm that was doing the scratching is resting on top of another hand in a rather “Sherlock Holmes” detective style. All I would need is the hat, a monocle, and a pipe, then the overall theme would be complete. Plus, I would have something new and exciting to wear for the next German style Carnaval next year.

If they even have something similar to a Carnival here, if not then I should seriously introduce this concept to these black and white Zebras just so that I can have an excuse to request such a costume and wear it during the festivity. But again, going off topic.

I focused back at the changeling, keeping my detective thinking pose. “All very interesting. But do tell me, why are there so many ‘lings leaving your underground dwelling to live with the outside worldlers in the first place? There obviously must be a reason as to why such mass defections are taking place. Also, how many of your kind do actually live up here amongst the populace?” I continued to question.

He, again, seemed a bit hesitant and thoughtful, just like the first time. I can tell that he is having a serious mental debate as to why he was openly telling me all of this, and if he should keep spilling the beans or not.

Not a very easy decision to make, I have to say.
Again, if he does choose to tell me me everything, then he would pretty much be bound to my service. His interaction with me alone could easily be stamped as treason for whatever Queen he is working for. In fact, he could pretty much just start telling me everything, as returning now to wherever he crawled out would be rather pointless at this point.

I could easily house him, let him keep fucking his newly acquired girlfriend, and have myself a nice living encyclopedia about his nation and his race overall.

Knowledge is power, after all.

He, again, turned his gaze over to his companion for answers, which he got in the form of another lovely and encouraging looking smile and even a small nuzzle this time, for added bonus. He, as a response, just blushed yellowish around his cheeks and gave her a somewhat dopey smile in return.

Man, she is good, I really should start incorporating these mare servants as interrogators, as their attitude and overall sex appeal seems to do wonders for them. Not to mention getting them something in return, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, with all of that done, he finally looked back up at me, with his blush firmly gone and a look of finalized determination in his eyes. His blue, pupilless, eyes mind you. Baby blue, in fact.

He coughed lightly before starting. “Well, for starters, the reason as to why so many changelings and simple drones are abandoning the Hive in the first place is because of the every growing madness of our Queen and the harsh rationing she is putting onto the population. You see, the Queen is basically the heart of the Hive, and in the distant past — even the mind, thanks to the natural hive mind link every changeling shares with one another. So, if the Queen herself is going mad, then the entire Hive will suffer from her mental state in the form of fear, confusion, and paranoia. This mostly affects the normal changelings and certainly the drones, as the Noble changelings possess a much greater level of mental independence compared to the rest.” He openly laid out, which was certainly interesting to hear.

So, these guys actually operate in a Hive like environment then. Basically, similar to bees or other group oriented insects. Quite fitting and somewhat predictable, given their outward appearance. I like it to be honest, certainly something new and fresh.

Bug horses basically operating in a bug like society. Certainly haven’t seen or heard of such a concept before, or if I did, I most likely have forgotten about it.

But again, more info is required to fully draw a much better picture for myself, not just for security reason, but also if I could personally capitalize on this or not.

More cogs, give me more cogs. Also, options, having an army capable of flight and shooting lasers from their crooked head accessory would certainly give me more options and a greater range of versatility when marching off to war. Building an air force, now there is something to plan for.

A Biological air force, to be precise. Sounds somewhat kinky when you think about it, but whatever.

This also finally leads me to the final question of the day. How many changelings really do live up here on the surface, and most importantly, in between the local populace. If he could give me a number of even help me route out these straddles, then I could maybe offer them all a much better life under my flag and get myself some more of these flying bugs on my side. If all of that doesn’t work, then I could always go back to my previous plan in sending in some mare servants to “interrogate” them and convince them otherwise.

If it worked once, it can work again. Just lift that tail and wiggle those flanks, and any male with sufficiently sized testicles will become instant butter within their hooves, while at the same time becoming butter within my hands as well.

Man, I am certainly going to have a lot of butter in the future. My personal cook won’t be running out of butter anytime soon, I can tell you that.

Either way, back to topic. “Quick!” I announced while swiftly pointing a finger at the now startled bug. “How many of your deserters do exist on the surface and how many of them actually reside here within the city? Hurry up and tell me!” I rapid fire at the poor guy as he flinched back a bit with wide eyes.

He took a moment to think before finally regaining his composure. He gave me a sad look as he replied. “Well, sorry but… one of my missions was to root out these deserters. I have no idea how many there are or where they are, besides the one I removed, that is. Though, I have been equipped with a spell that can help me detect and dispel disguise on any changeling that is nearby and expose them. I can certainly catch them that way, if you allow me to.” He explained and offered.

This, of course, was a rather intriguing proposal. Though, at the same time I shouldn’t really trust his offers, as I am still feeling a tad bit unsure where his allegiance truly stand. He might have told me everything I wanted to know, but that still doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t use his proposal to eventually stab me in the back. Go find his ‘lings, continue his previous job, but just hunt them down and then fuck off back to his Queen, leaving me stranded here like a fucking idiot.

No, I shall not be stranded on a lonely island with just one coconut tree being my only source of shade and nutrition. I will have to make sure that this ship is truly seaworthy before allowing myself to leave port.

Need to apply some super glue one those cracks, first. Also, attach an oversized anchor on it’s stern, just to be sure.

I rubbed my chin in thought as I gave the ling a cautious look. “What’s the catch?” I simply started, trying to probe his thoughts with a rather simple and straightforward question.

It was his turn to give me the raised brows, even though he doesn’t have any, or at least none that I can see.

He seemed confused, but also curious at the same time. “There is no catch, I have received more love in a single day than I have ever received in my entire life. I am so energetic and full of life that I have no desire to give all of this up for a cause that might very well be doomed to fail regardless from what I know of. The Queen has gone mad, and there is that. Up here, I am free and no longer have to worry about my next meal of love or positive emotions. This is practically heaven for me.” He openly explained, which lead to me being both confused and curious.

I did the “Timeout” gesture with my hands. “Wait a minute. Did you just implied that you, and, to a greater extent, your entire race are feeding on love and emotions? Is that what you meant?” I asked.

The changeling nodded. “Well, yes. I know it must sound strange, and, maybe, even somewhat disturbing to you surface dwellers, but we changelings do feed off the love from others, and other positive emotions, to some extent. “ He confirmed.

This pretty much explains everything, then. “Like the boner that I accidentally gave him. I was literally feeding this guy with my affection and the emotional substitute of Viagra. A strange concept, indeed, but at least one that now makes sense… kinda. Well, making sense in a magical world filled with talking animals kind of sense. A cartoon, first and foremost.” I thought to myself as a new curious idea entered my mind.

“So, does overfeeding causes boner within the males and the serious case of the heats to the females? In that case, remind me to never show any affections to these ‘lings, unless I want to keep my dignity intact… or at least what’s left of it, that is. Don’t need a harem of bugs chasing after me, after all. Too much distractions and constant running, and I hate running.” I mentally noted, before focusing back at the two in front of me.

The ‘ling in question was once again looking over to his “interrogator”, which caused him to blush again when she just continued to be all affectionate towards him.

This confirmed his loyalty in my eyes. It’s pretty much the same with either the East Germans of the DDR, or also with the North K-pop peoples, as well. Once these individuals had tasted the sweet, sweet nectar of something that would have been impossible to obtain from wherever they are from, then turning back now would sound like a really stupid thing to do. Especially when these places would immediately turn hostile to them after their successful escape.

So, really, I might just have found myself a new possible source of new potential citizens and soldiers, just for the price of letting him fuck one of my servants, and unintentionally even creating a new couple.

Spy work and interrogations, whoever said that both of these things are hard is a fucking wanker. Look, I am a complete amateur, and I still managed to succeed faster than most professionals could… well, minus the physical and mental tortures. I, at least, did it peacefully. Like a bloody hippie.

Flower power and all that stuff. Love, tolerance, and some weird fucking rainbow. I blame the existence of the carebears for those phrases.

Either way, the overall path seemed to be clear now. While Bakuss is off to his “forced vacation”, Aku is tending to the overall council and Susi is… actually, I have no idea what the heck is she doing, but whatever. The point is, everybody is marginally busy with their own expected responsibilities. Same with this fellow ‘ling here, who is going to be finding more of his ‘lings to intoxicate them later with boner inducing love and future girlfriends to put said boners into.

Not me, as I still have some dignity to hold onto, and I don’t have a pussy. It’s a good thing that the Palace if full of female servants, which means I will have no issues to choose the next unlucky, or, in this case, lucky individual to throw under the wagon.

Because I have my own priorities and responsibilities to take care of. Like, being a somewhat decent father figure and giving the local Palace guards something else to do besides just standing still all day and pissing themselves into oblivion.

Man, I feel like playing Oblivion now, but, yet again, no Internet or access to a good PC. I will most likely never get used to this, but, hey, variety is the spice of life, after all, and considering the loop I have been thrown in with this whole dimensional travel into a magical cartoon land type and shit, I must be reaping the really good stuff right now. The kind of spice you can only get by some shady ass character from an isolated back alley.

So I really can’t complain here.

Overall, this pretty much concluded today’s “before breakfast meeting”, and right on time, too, as I could hear a certain red and orange scaled infant slowly waking up from her normally long slumber. How do I know that, some might wonder? Well, simple, a poof of flames ejected from the crib.

This prompted me to get up from my chair and walk over to Penelope’s crib to pick her up. She immediately began to babble in her baby talk when I removed her from the fabricated cocoon and held her up on my left arm.

I turned around to address the two. “Well, then, I certainly had a lovely chat with the two… well, mostly with mister changeling over here, whose name I still don’t know…” I exclaimed, which caused him to open his mouth ready to say something, before I cut him off just as fast. “…which is fine, as it’s not really important as of now. Just go out there and properly list yourself with both the guard and the civilian related part of the Council. One of the guards or representatives are still going to inform me of your name regardless if I have personally ask them for it or not.” I raised my free finger in a dramatic pose with my eyes going wide. “EFFICIENCY!! Can be both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Stop telling me shit that I didn’t ask for, it’s confusing and more distracting than it usually should be.” I announced loudly to no one in particular.

Both the ‘ling and the mare were just giving me both some really strange and confused looks, while Penelope just went back to trying to munch a hole through my shirt. Which is semi fine, as this isn’t the original shirt anymore that I wore when I got warped into this world. It’s just one of the many countless clones that I ordered from the local tailor with both the same color and the same slogan printed on the front.

But, alas, I still thwarted Penelo’s efforts, because I didn’t want her to make a habit out of it. Well, at least not with my stuff.

I walked past the two still confused quadrupeds and made for the door. I still haven’t had my breakfast, which needed to be addressed as I was slowly feeling its effects. Same with Penelope, as she started to burp tiny flames out of her mouth.

I opened my overly fancy door and was ALMOST surprised to see (almost being the key word here) Bakuss of all people standing in front of my door mid knock.

Silly old Bakuss, such a terrible workaholic, this one. Again, not really surprising to still see him roaming through the Palace despite the fact that I gave this poor fool a vacation the previous day that he couldn’t refuse, mostly because I am his boss and I kind of made him take it.

The young but still rather dedicated stallion has been quiet, in and out about himself ever since the battle. So I came up with the jazz to give him some needed off time to better reflect on his experiences and actions he needed to make, while I was busy being high on too much caffeine. Literally.

Who could have thought that caffeine can get someone high, or at least send a person through a trip of time and space to visit the intergalactic chocolate factory?

Not sure if such an overly self-conscious trip is healthy? But then again, who cares, my mind already got long warped, thanks to all of those fever dreams that I get on almost weekly basis. A world filled with complete nonsense and unadulterated madness.

Oh, yeah, there is still a Bakuss to deal with.

The stud was about to speak as a quick excuse quickly entered my mind. I grinned before pointing over my shoulders at the still standing couple.

“Good that you are here and not off to your extended break… like how I told you to!” I exclaimed with clinched teeth at the end, which… did nothing to him. He was again about to say something, when I YET again beaten him to it, just like how I pretty much beat everything in this game, as you cannot outtalk a hyperactive guy with a few screws loose in his head.

I re-engaged my grin. “Anyway, besides your blatant disregard to your own mental health, and believe me, I am VERY WELL VERSED in that field, you just showed up just in time to give this little ol’ changeling a bit of a guideline tour of the Barracks and overall rules and regulations of your regiment. Because he will be used as our personal bloodhound to sniff out and expose more of his kind, and to, hopefully, get more hounds of the blood from them in the future. Now, quick, time's a wasting, and I have a personal breakfast table to catch if I don’t want to completely fall out of my figure. Isn’t that right, Penelo?” I explained before looking down at my partner in crime to get any input out of her.

All she did was mumble gibberish, before going back to munching the upper corners of my sleeves.

The girl will never learn, but neither do I, so, I guess, she is taking quotes from her old man, which is nice. Personally so, but probably not in the great scheme of things.

Chapter 18: The Ling of Bureaucracy (slight re-edit)

Chapter 18: The ‘Ling of Bureaucracy

Edited by: Scornas, Samellan

Bakuss just sighed, watching as the King and the baby drake strolled off to the royal dinner, leaving him, a mare and the bug standing alone in the hallway.

For starters, he wasn’t really keen on openly showing a previous assailant around the Palace grounds. But it was the King’s wish, and he already knew from the accounts of others and from self-experience that trying to argue with the King is virtually impossible. Even if you add common sense into the mix, he would just twist the argument around somehow to still get the same thing that he originally wanted, only somewhat altered in the approach.

But then again, his ideas have pretty much worked so far, so personally he really couldn’t complain about that too much.

It’s just like how the King always used to say “When it’s stupid, but works — it ain’t stupid.” or something like that.

Either way, he now had a job to do, a job that consisted of showing this new creature around and explaining in detail what all of the rules and regulations are for both the Palace and the City Guard.

It was actually somewhat frustrating that the King hasn’t personally informed him about his plans and reasoning for this, otherwise giving this creature a tour wouldn’t sound as frustrating as it does now.
But then again, he could always ask the servant for answers.

“Hey, you.” Bakuss immediately pointed at the mare.

The mare in question perked up, which allowed Bakuss to continue. “Do you perhaps know the reason as to why the King wishes for me to show this… this…” He gestured towards the changeling, which she immediately understood.

“He is a changeling, sir, or so he told me.” She quickly answered.

Bakuss nodded and cleared his throat to continue. “Well, anyway. Do you know the reason as to why the King wants me to escort this “Changeling” around the Council grounds and the barracks? Normally individuals like him should either be cast out or imprisoned for murder and attempted assault on one of the guards. So, again, why is he so friendly with him?” Bakuss clarified, gesturing back the ling.

The changeling in question simply kept to himself despite the somewhat aggressive gestures. Any input or dispute with the one Zebra that managed to singlehoofedly defeat him wouldn’t be the wisest of choices. Plus, he was in good graces with the King, so throwing that out now would also be a really dumb move on his part.

The mare, thought, couldn’t, especially when personally asked by the captain himself.

She scratched her red colored mane, giving her counterpart a quick sideways glance before answering. “His name is Farries, and the King wishes to properly house him in exchange for him helping out to root out more of his disguised kin, which are scattered all over the city. You see, the Hive that Farries here is from is suffering from some serious authoritarian problems, thanks to the ever increasing hostility of his Queen. That in turn is causing a lot of fear, tension and even food shortages, which is also why many of them are escaping the Hive for food and a chance of freedom from their Queen’s slow descent into madness. How many are truly out there is still somewhat unknown, even to him. But the King wishes for him to still try and find some of those deserters in hopes of convincing them to join us and offering them freedom, a place to stay, and, of course, food and protection… or so I have understood from their conversation.” She explained.

Bakuss took this moment to rub his chin in thought, while letting all of this information sink in.

For once, if her account is accurate, or, rather, if the changeling’s presented information is to be believed, then there is certainly a positive interest to be had in tracking down all of those runaway changelings that are hiding among the populace, and judging from his experience with the Bartender, then really anyone could be a changeling in disguise at this point.

A rather unsettling realization when you carefully think about it. If these changelings had any form of malicious intents in their minds, then chaos and confusion they would be able to cause would have the chance to become beyond manageable. Most of the other tribes are still seated out there in their respective regions, which also means that Zebra power to try and contain such a massive insurrection is still very much limited.

So, really, the King was actually pretty much right with his assumption of trying to quickly root out these refugees before things could potentially create a disaster. If not for the sake of possible allies, then for the sake of the national security.

Especially with old enemies taking notice of their slow build up and just waiting for the perfect moment to strike once more.

So, yeah, Bakuss now sees the logic here, but he didn’t have to like it. This changeling still killed one of his kin and assaulted his guards, so as far as Bakuss is concerned he is still dangerous.

But hey, at least he gets to personally escort this changeling around to all the sources he needs to talk to. So, in a way, he can still keep a very wary eye on him while the changeling tries to actually redeem himself.

Bakuss just nodded to himself as his decision was made. He now needed to get this ‘ling up to snuff in regards to standards, while also accompanying him in his given task to find more of his kind.

Peacefully, if possible, of course.

Bakuss looked over at the ‘ling. “Well then, in that case, let us just get started. You, though…” He looked over at the servant. ”…Can go home until your next scheduled shift. Just be safe, and please, do not tell this to ANYONE. The last thing we need is a full-blown panic about shapeshifting equine look alikes within the populace. The time will come when we shall inform the citizenry as a whole about this situation, until then just keep quiet.“ Bakuss instructed.

The mare just nodded before giving the changeling a quick peck on the cheek, which, in turn ,caused the changeling to blush and smile sheepishly at her.

Bakuss just decided to ignore it as there were more serious issues to focus on at the moment.

He trotted past the changeling and gave him a gesture to follow. The ‘ling complied as he tailed Bakuss down the hallway.

Bakuss decided to personally get more information out of him while the two trot. He looked over at the ‘ling next to him.

“So, your name is Farries, then?” Bakuss began, just for the sake of easing him up a bit.

The changeling just nodded, keeping his gaze fixed forward.

Bakuss accepted his rather vague response as he too focused back at the path at hand, or rather hoof in his case. Actually, now that he had the chance, Bakuss went back to observing the Changeling’s features in much greater detail now that the sense of a threat is momentarily quelled. Primarily how such a hard outside shell is capable of equine-like motions.

He personally couldn’t see any division or obvious joints on its chitin, which was strange given his personal knowledge of bugs in general. In fact, he noticed that the chitin around his legs, shoulders and flank was stretching and contracting the same way as skin does. Which, again, is just unnatural given its obvious carapace type look.

Bakuss own curiosity needed to be quenched, so he looked back at the ‘ling next to him. “Say...” He began, which got the changeling’s attention. “How come your joints and legs move and contract the same way as a normal Zebra’s does? I thought that your skin was chitin, similar to a bug. Hard and solid from the outside. So how come it behaves more like normal skin with visible muscle contraction under it?” He questioned, which somewhat surprised the changeling next to him.

He looked down at himself to see what Bakuss was questioning about, before gazing back at the Captain.

He paused at first to collect his words, before starting. “Well, it's quite easy, really.” He said before pointing at his left shoulder with his right hoof. ”In normal situation the chitin on a changeling body is soft and malleable for most of the time. Only when he or she are in dangerous situation, the chitin hardens, obviously, only in areas that are not used for much movement, like our backs or the areas between the joints of our fore- and hind legs. Besides that, it stays pretty skin-like, how most mammals have, though a bit thicker and harder on key areas, of course.” Farries explained before focusing back at the road ahead.

Bakuss, again, just nodded to that as he did the same. Reflecting on this strange biology that his race possesses in comparison to what he knew so far. Having your personal ingrown armor whenever you find yourself in combat or any other dangerous situation is certainly something. Though, the obvious question still stands as to how dense and protective the chitin actually is. If it is on par with either bronze, iron, or steel.

Granted, Bakuss would still trust a hardened plate of steel more than naturally grown chitin. But that is just his opinion.

The rest of the trip was spent in relative silence as both of them just continued on. A few Palace guards here and there to give the unusually looking changeling a curious look, but other than that, they did nothing else.

After a bit of trotting through the marble and mosaic encrusted paths of the tall and expensive hallways are carpeted with, Bakuss and his follower eventually reached their first and closest destination.

The compound of the Palace that houses the Council chambers.

The scene was quickly changed from heavily armed guards to simple servants, personal bodyguards and representatives of the other tribes roaming through the open courtyards that divide the rest of the Palace with the Council halls.

A few representative of the different Temples could also be seen mingling about, with their white and well decorated garments and traditional accessories adorning their bodies, representing whatever deity that they are serving.

One of them was a well-known High Priestess of Tzerath, Susara the High Priestess of the God of knowledge and magic, accompanied by another head figure of their Pantheon, Akadar the Head Custodian of the Temple of Zakahr, the Zebra deity for Warriors and Metalworks.

Both of them immediately noticed the duo approaching as they stepped closer towards the main building of the Council chambers. Susara was the first to react to his presence as she stepped forward to meet Bakuss in front of the main entrance.

She smiled at the Captain. “Greetings, Captain Bakuss. What brings you to the Council on this fine and sunny day? Well… actually, it’s always sunny in the desert, never mind that last part.” She greeted with a small chuckle at the end.

Bakuss couldn’t help but give a small smile before bowing respectively to the High Priestess. “Greetings to you too, High Priestess Susara, I hope your time in both the Temple and the orphanage have been going well for you?” He greeted before rising back up.

Susara just kept her smile before ushering Akadar to come over. She looked back at the Captain. “Well, yes, though my still expected duties to the pilgrims and the parentless foals may have kept me busy outside the Palace grounds, but I have been doing quite well over these past few days after the battle. Though, I do hope that you too have been doing well both mentally and physically since that day. I have heard that you have been somewhat in and out of yourself ever since the Battle. I hope you are coping with the experience well enough, your leadership was phenomenal, same with your fighting prowess. It would be a shame to see such a talented stallion like yourself to succumb to depression in such needing times.” She responded with a more worried tone and look at the end.

Bakuss shook his head. “Do not worry, my lady, I am doing well enough, and I am far from thinking about quitting. In fact, I have never been more dedicated in helping to rebuild this nation than I have been after my first taste of war. I will gladly pick up my sword once more if the need arises.” He responded with pride and full dedication that could easily be heard and seen through his eyes.

Susara just smiled at that, while Akadar, who has just arrived, simply gazed at the Captain with a somewhat curious and critical eye. He obviously knew something, but most of the individuals around him didn’t notice that as they were all busy with their own thoughts. His gaze eventually went up towards the silent and withdrawn looking changeling behind the Captain. His brows raised in interest and quiet recognition as his eyes scanned the bug-like equine.

Again, he knew something, but the others didn’t gave his obvious expression any attention or just flat out didn’t noticed it. Well… except for the ‘ling.

It didn’t take long for Susara to notice the strange looking creature herself, as she gave the cCaptain a curious brow.

“Captain, do tell, what and who this curious looking creature is that you have behind you? Is this one of those… Bug-like equines I have heard whispers about back in the Temple? He does look rather unique, I have to say.” She pointed out, which caused Bakuss to look over his shoulder.

“Well, yes, yes, it is.” He began, looking back at her. “This right here is the very changeling I captured in the lower districts of the city, and by the King's grace, I am instructed to indoctrinate him into our rules and customs, so that he may help us in rooting out more of his kind.” Bakuss explained.

This, though, got Akadar’s attention as he focused back at the Captain. “So, you are saying that there might be more like him? If that is the case, then accounting them all and separating those who are just trouble makers would certainly be a top priority, especially when everything still seems calm and manageable.” He commented, which Bakuss had to nod to.

“Well, yes, that is obviously the idea. Something the King himself firstly proposed. Having an unknown number of shapeshifters living among the population is certainly a path for trouble.” He added.

“Actually…” The changeling spoke up for the first time. “I doubt most of the deserters are really trouble makers. The main reason for their escape was to find a better life, I doubt they would risk their chances in actively causing trouble. They are refugees, not a band of criminals.” Farries clarified.

Akadar rubbed his chin in thought. “Well, in that case, it would still be best to get an accurate number as to how many are out there. If they prove themselves truly humble, then it wouldn’t be difficult to properly integrate them into our society.” He suggested, much to Susara’s surprise.

“But why integrate them so quickly? The city has barely enough to hold the current population, let alone a whole herd of refugees. That’s not even mention the rations and access to fresh water?” She brought up a common concern among them.

Since the recent victory and the appearance of a healthy number of tribe leaders, there has been a slowly increasing influx of Zebras from all the continent, wanting to return to the “ancient capital” for commodities and a new place to call home. And to also help with the restoration, as some openly voiced out.

It really does seem that there is a great desire within their race to rebuild what has been lost, mostly thanks to all those lorekeepers and shamans that are spread out throughout the land and different tribes, keeping their ancient past alive.

Commendable, yes, and also a very strong sign of how dedicated the Zebra race as a whole can be. But it also brought up logistical problems that need to be resolved sooner than later, and if this whole Changeling gist holds any merit, then overpopulation would come sooner than later. Especially when integration is set upon the table.

The fertile river banks outside the city can only do so much. It won’t be long when the city would be unable to independently provide for itself, and soon it would either need to expand or try to import goods from other places, and given that the old trade routes have been neglected since the last Monkey King, it would be difficult to use them again.

First, they needed to be repaired before any sophisticated trade network could be reestablished, which again would take time and resources to do. Time was slowly running out, that much was true.

This was certainly another matter that needed to be presented to the Council, or even to the King himself.

The changeling was about to say something again, when Akadar quickly beaten him to it.

“That is fine, changelings only feed on emotions and love in general. Just give them affection and they shall be good to go.” He explained much to everyone’s surprise.

Bakuss was the first to voice out. “How do you know what changelings feed on? Until now, I personally didn’t know that such a race even existed.” He questioned, which was mentally shared by everyone else.

He just kept casual look as he looked at the Captain. “Easy, I have encountered one as a colt when I used to explore the caves far outside the city. My parents were farmers, so I was living outside the city walls and had easy access into the open sands beyond the river banks.” Akadar explained.

“Also, I have access to the City Archives, too. You won’t believe how old some of those scrolls are.” He added, which overall seems to make sense for all.

Though one matter was still unresolved. Something that Bakuss quickly realized. “Anyway, if you two would excuse me, I have this changeling over here to present to the Council scribe before moving on to the Officer’s wing. I bid you all a nice day.” He announced with a short bow.

“Come, Farries, let’s get you filed up before you are even allowed to actively help us and settle down for residency here. It is tedious, but it’s something that just needs to be done.” He explained to the ‘ling, who just nodded.

Both Susara and Akadar followed their departure, with the changeling giving the equally curious Akadar a quick look before disappearing behind a set of doors.

Bureaucracy, it’s a thing even in a desert-dwelling city.

“Well, what a strange looking race indeed. Kind of reminds me of some beetle species that reside on the edge of the forest in the far south,” Susara commented, rubbing her chin.

“Well, yes, quite.” Akadar casually responded with a bit of a sigh.

This got Susara’s attention, though. “What is it, Akadar? Are you feeling unwell all of sudden?” She questioned with concern in her voice.

Akadar just shook his head. “No, it’s nothing like that, I am fine but… just had a sudden thought cross my mind, that’s all. Nothing too major, in case you are wondering.” He dismissed.

Susara was still skeptical, of course, but decided just to nod and accept the High Priest's answer as it is. It certainly is none of her business anyway.

“Actually, now that this issue was brought up, I kind of remembered something that might find itself useful with all of this. I might just excuse myself, too.” He suddenly announced, which again took Susara by surprise.

Susara was about to question what he meant by that, before he quickly began trotting off, leaving her with nothing but her question to stand in front of the Council hall.

Susara just shook her head before stepping into the building to await the start of the meeting of all the High Priests of the city. She was supposed to convince Akadar to join too, and get him out of his little study back at the Temple. Now she has to somehow explain to the other representatives as to why he wasn’t here to attend the meeting as suggested.

Especially with the ever enclosing Festival of the Flames — a highly important festival of their culture.

Chapter 19: The Plot Thickens...You Perverts

Chapter 19: The plot thickens…you perverts.

Edited by: pahnazd

Akadar entered his tiny study next to the main hall that holds the statue and Altar of Zakarh. He carefully closed the door behind him before making his way over to a closet in order to get himself out of the heavy robes and jewelry that was bestowed to him as a speaker to the divines.

With his fur free of clothing, he made his way over to his desk and sat down in front of it. The surface of the desk was a mess; letters, scrolls and ancients tomes from all across the ages where blanketing the surface of the fine woodwork, reminiscent of his lust for old knowledge and the study of the past that he loved to conduct in his spare time.

It is quite unknown to most outsiders, but the dedicated representative of each god within the Zebra pantheon also served as the keeper of a lot of functional infrastructures within the city.

Some outsiders may begin to question as to why certain establishments such as schools or libraries were devoid of any normally hired or trained teachers or custodians from the local population - that’s because all of these responsibilities were mostly kept and preserved by the local priests and priestesses of the Temples.

What deity they serve depends on what their secondary profession is, like how a priest of Tzerath would be tasked to tend to the knowledge within libraries and archives, or how a custodian of Damalath was also tasked in keeping the stock in local granaries in check and how they keep local shamans supplied with the rare herbs they needed, a task reminiscent to the Goddess of nature and fertility.

There were, of course, certain exceptions to these roles, like with Susara being the added head maiden of the city’s orphanage, and Akadar being a scribe and a historian at the same time.

It really all depended of the individual talents that the Zebra had, but overall it’s them that maintain a large portion of the city’s infrastructure. Mostly thanks to the higher level of education and a sense of responsibility required to live in the Temples.

Akadar began to scout out his desk for a very specific note that he had received a while back. Failing to do so on his first try, he just groaned to himself in annoyance before becoming rather physical about his approach, swooping away all of the other letters, books and scrolls that were not of interest to him at the moment.

This continued for a while before his desk eventually became clean of all of the mess and clutter that decorated its surface previously.

This left the middle aged stallion in a bit of a fizz as all of his priceless scrolls were now unprofessionally scattered about across his marble floor.

“Need to remember to clean this up later.” He noted to himself as he began to rub his head in thought, trying to properly remember where he had stashed that letter away when it was first brought to him while he was busy resetting the altar.

He just frowned again, as the lack of remembrance was reeking its ugly head from around the corner.

He scolded himself. “Damn it, Akadar, you are the local scribe and head priest of this temple, and you are still unable to remember where exactly you placed a piece of paper? This is ridiculous. This would be made even worse if I was actually a high priest of Tzerat rather than Zakarh.” He ranted to himself as he got up.

Almost on queue, the spark of his needed memory quickly ignited within his mind as he said that.

He gave Zakarh a quiet thanks for his assistance before moving himself to his personal wall shelf where he kept most of his written letters and scrolls.

He personally remembered having stashed the letter up on a wall shelf to keep it hidden from any curious eyes or servants that tended to come by to tidy up his study whenever he was doing his duties within the temple or strolling around somewhere.

It would be a disaster, and most likely the end of his time within the temple, if his long-forgotten secret was found out via a simple letter given to him buy an equally enigmatic source.

He made his way over to the far left of his study and began to browse through the upper stacks of his shelves in search for this letter. It took a while to scout through his stacked-up papers, but he eventually found the very letter that he has been seeking for in between a bunch of others.

He smiled, making his way back towards his desk before sitting back down on his haunches in front of it. He carefully placed the letter down onto the desk and began to unbind the threads that kept the folded paper sealed.

He began to stare at its contents when he finally opened it. It was made not of actual paper, but rather of some organic substance that was reminiscent to some hardened goo, quite noticeable when you viewed its detailed structure up close. The soft layers of spiral waves could be seen within its semi-green texture.

Akadar ignored the obviousness, as he focused rather at the written print above it. Long-forgotten memories flashed back into his mind as its content was giving him a healthy dose of nostalgia… an unnecessary one, to be honest.

It was written in an alphabetic system he hadn’t seen for a very long time, but still very familiar given his own origins - the traditional letters and alphabetic symbols reminiscent to most changelings.

Akadar looked down at his right hoof, a sudden flash of purple flames enveloping it, revealing a jet black and shiny surface instead of the black and white fur it used to have.

He sighed again; he had always considered himself more Zebra than changeling, mostly thanks to the fact that he was born here after his parents migrated from whatever land they originally hailed from, and now, thanks to transpiring events that were happening all around him, it was time to finally accept his true origins and to get involved with something that he previously tried to ignore after he first received this letter.

Granted, it wasn’t really from the hive that he was from. But still, he and his parents did come from a similar hive just as this one from a land that was a lot greener and also a lot more mountainous than this one.

Or so he has been told when he was just a colt.

It all didn’t matter to him though, as there was still a decision to make, and giving the content of this letter and the now-obvious problems that this particular hive seems to be facing, it seemed to be pretty clear that the city and, to a much greater extent, his home, might be on a path that could easily prove itself a lot more problematic than even the invasion attempt of the Minotaurs.

He is a changeling, which means that he should possess the natural means to help with being able to sense other changelings, the same way this Farries stud did when he first laid his eyes upon him.

But now it seemed that the situation was escalating even further, and that the choice doesn’t seem to be much up to him as much as he previously thought.

He needed to somehow get into contact with this Cyrus guy the letter named and get more answers from him. Akadar will have to make the right choice in seeking out the place that this letter described. He may not be fully knowledgeable about changelings, but judging by his parents, himself and now Farries as well, despite their somewhat sinister look, changelings couldn’t really be all that bad despite their somewhat alien feeding needs and natural profession for stealth, replacement and espionage.

He may be one of them, but at heart his is more Zebra than changeling. This is his home, and he will help defend it, even if it means going against his own kin.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Farries groaned. After having gone through these Zebras’ scribes and gotten through the Palace barracks to fit him with the appropriately sized armor to protect him other than the very chitin that he was born with. He was basically done with all of this complicated bull and was finally on his way to do the one very thing that he was instructed to do if he wanted to keep his new position, life, lover and more or less new home in exchange for his services and expertise.

It’s actually kind of crazy to think that just a couple of days ago he was still loyal to his queen and in a more malicious mission to hunt down changelings by her orders. That is, until he got captured, sent in front of the king and then receiving some of the most delicious, plentiful (and also physical) love that he had ever seen, tasted, felt and experienced in his entire life.

Call him a traitor and a backstabber, but when it comes to love, a changeling, especially a desperate one, will be capable of doing ANYTHING to receive that love, and given the fact that up here, he was given a chance to not only receive all of this love and found a mare that is not completely scared or repulsed by his race’s look and diet, the choice was pretty obvious for him.

Plus knowing that he isn’t really alone with this train of thought is also somewhat good to know. Certainly made his choice overall a lot easier to swallow… literally.

Actually, now that he is here he just can’t stop thinking about Dahla at this point. The Zebra mare that somehow managed to fill up his hungry heart in a single day. She seemed so curious, but also so very honest and caring when he finally allowed himself to open up on her. One thing lead to another and it wasn’t long when the two started to… feel something for one another.

The love she eventually spilled out for him tasted amazing, which he was forced to return as his… member at the time started to show. But instead of being repulsed, she actually took it as a compliment, especially when she first kissed him and showed her more beautiful side to him.

He already knew the amazing taste of love she irradiated, but having felt it as well… now he just can’t stop thinking about her. Not as a food source, but rather as a mate. Someone he could trust and be with, someone to share the love and to protect.

And who knows, maybe both a Changeling and a Zebra can reproduce after all? Only time will tell. That one night surely was a long one.

This was his reason why he’s doing this and why it felt so morally right to him.

“Hello? Earth to Farries! Not sure how changeling eyes work, but I doubt staring at the sun is good for any eye.” Bakuss called out.

This brought Farries back to reality as he shook his head. He blinked his eyes a couple of times to get the sun's glare out of them, but other than that there really weren’t many issues.

Changeling eyes are a lot more resilient than most know.

He gazed at Bakuss. “Excuse me, just had a momentary monologue or something.” He replied while rubbing the back of his shiny neck.

Bakuss gave him a look before just ignoring it. “Well, anyway, since I don’t trust you yet, I will you accompany you today in scouting out some potential changelings down in the city. You lead and I shall just follow.” He instructed while Farries was busy in pulling his chain mail skirt around his flank.

Wearing armor for the first time was awkward and difficult, but that might just be him, and the fact that this armor was made for furred equines and not carapace-layered changeling.

His chitin might be soft right now, but how would it be once it hardens?

Farries just nodded. “Sure thing, I guess. Not that it would make much of a difference, given how simply you disarmed me. Which, by the way, I am still irked about.” He responded which in turn made Bakuss just roll his eyes.

Before he could lead, Bakuss said one more thing. “Also, remember to disguise yourself. No need to cause a scene or panic by just trotting through the city as you are” He added.

Farries stopped and sighed before letting his flames consume him and changing him into a normal Zebra with a white and purple striped mane and tail.

He looked over his shoulder. “Happy?” He responded, sounding quite annoyed.

After having gone through that long bullshit bureaucracy thing… which, by the way, according to the young scribe, was introduced by their king, Farries was more than happy, or rather impatient, to finally get this thing going just so that he ceases to be so bored out of his mind right now. And also to finally return to Dahla.

Either way, with his disguise set, the two finally made it out of the barracks and went down a long set of wide stairs that would lead them down the cliff and into the city below.

The trip down was met with silence. Given how highly elevated the Palace really is,it took them a bit of a while to reach the lower gate that basically marked the line between the upper levels and what is considered the city proper.

From that point on it was basically Farries’ choice to pick a direction and go with his instincts. He obviously had no idea where to begin, and neither did Bakuss, so simply aimlessly wandering around was there best option for now.

The city was as busy as always during the day. Zebras of all ages, genders, sizes and mane colors were trotting and cantering about the sandstone streets and alleyways that made most of the city’s walking paths. Both Bakuss and Farries eventually reached one of the more prominent boulevards that acted as the expressway that allowed chariots, carriages and simple wagons to quickly cross the city from point A to B, more or less connecting all of the different districts of the Persian and Mesopotamian styled city.

The streets were used not just by Zebras, there were also other races, like Gryphons, Horses, some Ponies and Gazelles, and even some Diamond Dogs here and there acting either as visitors, travelers, or even merchants.

Funnily enough there were no Minotaurs though, most likely thanks to the previous political events that have transpired.

But alas, the city was bustling, with no obvious worries or issues in sight. Well, until Farries suddenly stopped and froze in the middle of the road, much to Bakuss’ surprise.

Bakuss’ senses were automatically on high alert as he trotted next to the frozen changeling. “Farries, what is it?” he questioned.

Farries just blinked before his head and eyes started to inconspicuously move from left to right in an attempt to find something that Bakuss couldn’t see. He didn’t need to, however, as it was pretty obvious what it might be.

Either he somehow managed to sense another changeling nearby, or perhaps something else entirely. But then again, he needed to ask Farries to be sure.

“What is it, Farries?” He question while looking at the ‘ling.

Farries just narrowed his eyes as he continued to look around. “Nothing serious, just thought that I… felt a sudden sensation of the hive link.” He responded, much to Bakuss’ confusion.

“Hive link?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Farries just ignored him as he continued to scout around every individual that was around him, eying them all carefully in hopes of re-discovering this one fundamental biological trait that every changeling alive possessed.

The ever-present, but now rarely used, hive mind link.

Every changeling has it, and depending on what hive they are from dictates how much of this evolutionary aspect was still used.

In comparison, the hive Farries hailed from has long abandoned this notion of a single, linked mind when individuality and conscious independence slowly became a mainstay within their hive many millennia ago.

It was never recorded when it actually started, so that’s all they have to base their theories on beyond vague guess and suspicions.

Farries eventually relaxed after his search ended up fruitless, which of course didn’t mean that there wasn’t anything there to begin with. That only meant that he needed to be more direct with his search. In other words, using his magic.

Bakuss was about to ask again when Farries suddenly grabbed his hoof and began to drag him to the closest side alley that he could find.

Bakuss, of course was surprised as all hell.” What the… what are you doing?” He demanded as the ‘ling continued to pull on his arm.

Farries quickly shushed him. “Nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry. Just need a secluded place to momentarily drop my disguise and use some basic sensory magic to try and locate this possible changeling or changelings nearby that I just sensed.” He carefully whispered as he, with Bakuss held by his hoof, were dodging a couple of curious looking bystanders in order to reach the alley that Farries spotted.

“Ugh… never was a fan of the same-sex relationship concept.” A random stallion in a pottery shop commented, which in turn made Bakuss blush in embarrassment underneath his face guard.

Come to think of it, the way Farries was holding and leading him towards an alley did imply something suggestive to anyone who saw it, that is, if they were mature enough to even notice, much to Bakuss’ dismay, of course.

That didn’t bother Farries the slightest though, as he eventually let go of Bakuss’ hoof after they reached the alley in question.

Bakuss rubbed his hoof against his armor’s cloak as Farries turned around.

“Now…” Farries began as his body under the mail began to change back into his true form before continuing. “… that no one can see us, I can try and use some magic and hopefully get a clue to support my senses. This might take some time and concentration though, so could you perhaps make sure that no one enters this alley while I work my magic? Again, this might take a bit.” Farries explained, not even bothering to inform or directly ask Bakuss what his option on this matter was, much to his annoyance.

He inhaled sharply before just nodding and agreeing to keep an eye on the entrances after his terrible pun was said.

Farries powered up his obsidian horn and started to concentrate. An invisibility pulse extended from his horn and began to pass through and scan pretty much every living thing within a limited radius. The mental information that Farries was getting was staggering, though he needed only the main source in order to find the one signature which he was searching for.

He shut his eyes tight as he started to feel out every single Zebra and whatnot close by in hopes of finding something unusual.

It took him several minutes of non-stop concentration when he finally hit his first mark. An aura from a certain group of two was feeling somewhat different and off in comparison to everything else that was around them.

He wasn’t particularly sure that these two signatures were that of a changeling, but it was certainly better than nothing and something that a more personal and focused scan could fix.

He just needed to follow his senses to these two signatures and use his magic on them again in person.

With that decision made and set, Farries powered his horn down, re-engaged his cloak and opened his eyes with a strenuous sigh.

This got Bakuss’ attention though as he turned around to look at the re-clocked changeling behind him, this time determined to get some much-needed information out of him.

“Well, what did you find?” Bakuss questioned while giving the ‘ling a hard look.

Farries first readjusted his flank skirt before replying. “Well, I managed to locate two odd signatures off to the east from where we are now. I am not a hundred percent sure that they are changelings, but the spell that I used was more of a broad aura detector, only good in differentiating certain individuals from one another.” He answered.

Bakuss just rubbed his chin at that as he let Farries’s explanation sink in a bit. If he was right, then he might have actually located the first two changelings nearby… or maybe even something else if the inaccuracy of his spell was more drastic then he gave it credit for.

Either way, it was a hint, and certainly better than nothing.

Bakuss nodded. “Well then, no need to waste time and follow this “pulse” that you managed to pick up, I guess. Better that than nothing.” He commented.

Farries nodded before the two began to exit the alley.

“So, is your emergency lovemaking in the alley already over?” The same random-ass pottery stallion suddenly commented.

This, of course, caused the captain to groan while Farries looked over at the middle-aged stallion with confusion.

“Uh… what does he mean by…” Farries tried to question before Bakuss quickly quieted him.

“Nothing, nothing of significance and value.” He harshly announced before trotting both past him and the potter looking at them in suspicion.

“Come, we have a pair of fugitives to catch while they are still oblivious to our presence. Move your flank.” Bakuss added, which in turn quickly prompted the changeling to follow him, even though he was going in the completely wrong direction.

The middle-aged potter just shook his head before focusing back on his work, pressing down at the pedal with his right hind leg and causing the small round surface above it to spin with a half-made pot sitting on top of it.

“Youngsters these days.” He casually commented before continuing with his work in molding his clay into beautiful and workable pottery.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

(Somewhere else at the same moment)

Akadar looked around himself, just to make sure that nobody followed or even recognized him as he exited the city from the east gate. He made sure a couple of times that his dusty brown cloak was doing its job in concealing his form before passing past the gate guard.

The trick seemed to work, as Akadar casually managed to exit the city proper and was trotting along the bridge that would lead him out into the fertile banks of the east river, and also directly out into the desert if he so wished.

But he didn’t, or rather didn’t have to, given the meeting place and description of the letter. If the piece of biomass was anything to believe in then the changeling that could lead him to this “Cyrus” fellow would actually be tending one of the rice farms that dominate most of the east river sides.

After crossing the bridge and following the instruction that he memorized from the message, Akadar eventually came to a stop in front of one of the farm houses in between the fields.

He re-adjusted his cloak once more before carefully knocking on the door. There was a momentary pause before a voice could finally be heard from the other side.

“Who is it?” A mare’s voice asked, her voice muffled.

This was Akadar’s queue to make himself known. “I am Akadar, the one named Cyrus mentioned. A changeling’s hearth is without plight, since love is its only light.” Akadar answered, rehearsing the phrase that was mentioned in the letter in changeling alphabet, to make sure that it truly was him and not some random outsider that managed to get its hoof or claw at something that they shouldn’t.

At first there was nothing, that is until a set of clanging and falling clutter could be heard from the other side as a set of hooves quickly hurried towards the door. The door quickly opened, revealing a pink mane and a brown-striped Zebra mare on the other side.

She immediately looked around, making sure that nothing was nearby or close to them before quickly ushering Akadar in.

“Please, come in, no need to risk for anyone spotting us, especially loyalists of the queen actively moving about the rice and wheat fields.” The mare whispered.

Akadar nodded before stepping into the farmer’s home and closing the door behind them.

Chapter 20: More Stuff without the King...WHERE IS THE KING?

Chapter 20: More Stuff without the King…WHERE IS THE KING?

Edited by: pahnazd

Bakuss followed Farries towards the direction he assumed was the source of whatever it was he felt minutes ago. It was quite the trot, breezing through many pedestrians and streets, squeezing through tight alleys and crowded places.

Bakuss was slowly questioning Farries’ accuracy as they continued to go through yet another side alley, which must have been the 6th one in row as far he was concerned.

Bakuss panted. “Are you aware of where you are even going? How far was this aura anyway? I thought that the spell of your only has a limited pulse range, yet we have been cantering through these streets for over 15 minutes.” He complained.

Farries just looked over his shoulder with a frown. “Well, if you haven’t been leading the two of us in the completely opposite direction for the last 5 minutes then we would most likely have been at the source by now. Especially when the target suddenly began to move the moment we trotted back to where we started.” He fired back as they rounded another corner.

Bakuss just grumbled to himself. Truth be told he was kinda right, if he didn’t feel too awkward and embarrassed by the old potter’s comment then the two might actually have reached their target long ago, a situation that was only made worse when Farries suddenly proclaimed that the source was moving around. Rather quickly as well.

Again, Bakuss wasn’t really sure if Farries was just leading him into a wild goose chase or actually doing what he was supposed to do. He still didn’t trust the stallion to save his life, let alone go against his own kind.

Granted, he really isn’t, but still. Why suddenly help the very enemy that he was supposed to go against in the first place? Sure, the tradeoff for that was pretty apparent and rather enticing on his part, but he even killed one of his own kind before Bakuss could subdue him for the gods’ sake.

Either way, he was stuck with him, whether he liked it or not… which he didn’t, to be honest.

Farries eventually halted. “Wait. I think they are just around the corner.” Farries exclaimed much to Bakuss’ surprise.

“Really, now? Well, that is quite sudden, I have to say.” Bakuss replied, sounding a bit skeptical to those who paid attention.

Luckily for him, Farries wasn’t. “Well, that is because they are galloping right towards…” He was about to say more before a mass suddenly smashed into him, causing both him and the object to fall down on the ground with both an audible thud and groan from both parties.

Bakuss, on the other hoof just looked at the unexpected development with surprise before he suddenly realized who this stallion that bumped into Farries was.

“Wait a second. Najero, is that you?” Bakuss questioned, both surprised and somewhat agitated.

It was then when a second Zebra suddenly came running from around the corner and almost stumbled on the two downed stallions. She managed to halt herself just in time, enough for Bakuss to notice her well as he frowned.

“Okay, what the hell is going on here and what the hell are you two up to once again?” He demanded from the shocked mare in front of him.

“Well?” Bakuss pressed on as he was getting impatient with all of this.

Nami was about to reply when all of the sudden a third set of hooves came clopping closer in break neck speeds, before yet another body crashed into the scene, this time right on Nami as the two tumbled and rolled past the still-disoriented studs before crashing into an opposite wall of another alley to Bakuss’ right.

To say that things were starting to become rather ridiculous and confusing would be an understatement, especially when a fourth figure suddenly showed itself galloping from around the corner.

At this point Bakuss had enough and immediately confronted the newcomer, grabbing him by the neck with his hoof and forcing him against the wall with one mighty shove. The stallion grunted, before opening its eyes and staring down the angry eyes of the captain, which was all he could see thanks to the helmet and face guard.

“Okay, one more time. What in the gods’ name is going on here? And I am NOT going to release you until you start telling me EVERYTHING I want to know.” He demanded which in turn caused the Zebra’s eyes to go wide. The sudden scare that Bakuss gave him was apparently enough to engulf him in yellow flames and to revealing his true form to him.

Bakuss blinked in surprise before his gaze returned to the full steel glare it had since the beginning.

“So, a changeling, huh? Seems Farries was on the right track after all.” Bakuss commented out loud.

That comment was laid on deaf ears though as the rest of the party were still struggling on the ground. Farries trying to push the stallion on top of him off while said stallion was busy trying to get his spinning head under control.

Same with the mare and the second changeling most likely, both having rolled off into another alley and out of sight from the rest of the group. That didn’t matter though, as Bakuss had his hooves full.

He focused back at the changeling at hoof, quite literally in fact. “So tell me, who are you and what is this commotion all about? You better tell me now before I increase the pressure to your throat.” Bakuss threatened.

The changeling was shocked, nodding his somewhat restricted head before replying.

“We… we caught these two stealing oranges back at the stall, we just ran after them after we caught them doing so. We swear that we had nothing else in mind. We just wanted to catch these thieves and then perhaps hand them over to the guards.” The changeling answered quickly.

This caused Bakuss to think. “I guess the account of a changeling living among the populace is actually true. Two changelings casually working as orange vendors at the market, certainly something I would have never guessed if this whole changeling debacle didn’t start back at the run-down pub.” He thought.

With this information out of the way he began to lessen his hold on the changeling for the sake of calming him down, though not fully as he still had other questions to ask and things to get straight. Though not until looking back to the now-recovering Farries and Najero behind him. The latter was actually giving the changeling a heated glare which Farries returned in kind.

Bakuss decided to grab their attention before things could get ugly. “Quit it, you two! “He shouted which did the trick, as both lessened their glares and looked up at the Captain. ”Farries, just go into that alley over there and make sure that the mare and the other changeling are doing fine. Also…” Bakuss began before his gaze hardened at Najero. “… the two of us still need to have a little talk. You may be in the King’s grace, but that doesn’t mean the two of you are above the law. Not to mention the fact that the two of you just randomly disappeared after the capture of Farries over here. You certainly have some questions to answer when this is done.” Bakuss added with a visible frown.

Najero just kept his glare, not feeling the slightest bit intimidated by the young captain. Farries on the other end did as Bakuss requested and quickly went over to the side alley the captain pointed at.

With Farries doing his thing, Bakuss went back in addressing the still-intimidated changeling in front of him. He allowed the changeling to get back on his haunches as he released his grip on him, though he still kept a close eye on him.

The changeling rubbed his neck before looking back up at the captain with fear in his eyes. “What are you going to do now? We are not monsters, if that’s what you think. We have been living up here with your kind for over two years now. Both me, my mate and my little nymph daughter.” The changeling explained, trying to plead to the captain for his mercy.

Bakuss quickly shook his head. “No need to worry, I have no ill desires for you or your wife and child. I just want to have some information from you, how many of your kind perhaps exist within the city and how most of you changelings live among Zebra kind. If none of it is ill founded, then you have nothing to fear from me or the rest of the guards.” He assured calmly.

The changeling relaxed with a sigh at that before fully getting back on all fours while continuing to rub his sore neck. His wings buzzing a bit, thanks to the… unexpected excitement.

Bakuss continued while he still could. “Anyway, about your side of the story.” He requested, which again caught the changeling stallion’s attention.

He looked back at the captain. “Well… uhm. “ He began, sounding quite young, just like himself now that Bakuss was at ease enough to recognize that. “As I said, my partner and I have been peacefully living among your kind for over 2 years, acting as simple orange vendors back at the markets to make a living, even though most of it really just goes into more merchandise, tools and furniture rather than sustenance. If you already know of our kind then you probably know how we changelings sustain ourselves. Not quite similar to most surface dwellers, I am sure.” The changeling explained, which in turn made Bakuss nod to his question.

“Well yes, your kind feeds off the positive emotions of others such as love and things like it. Quite a… unique diet to have, but who am I to judge the course of nature?” Bakuss responded.

The changeling just awkwardly gazed over to the side and rubbing the back of its chitin-covered head with his hoof. “Yeah, pretty much. Again I am sure that this concept might sound very alien for you surface dwellers, maybe even scary or revolting to some.” He commented, which again caused Bakuss to shake his head.

“Not really, it’s just that it is….” Bakuss was about to respond when Najero found it wise to intervene.

“I think that it’s pretty strange, if you ask me. How can something even feed on emotions? I can certainly imagine how someone could feed of love though.” The elder sibling commented, adding a somewhat sly smile towards the changeling which in turn made him blush a bit.

Bakuss rolled his eyes. “Yeah, quite the interesting insight coming from someone who fiddles around with his own sister.” He rebuked.

This triggered something inside Najero as he glared over at the captain. “Hey, for one, she actually had some of that nasty changeling goo stuck up her rear that your new friend over there encased us with, and second, me and Nami had NOTHING but each other for pretty much most of our lives. We trust one another, so far in fact that we are perfectly fine in helping each other with more… personal matters. It also helps that the two of us are obviously very close as well, something that you can’t comprehend as you don’t have any siblings of your own… or rather haven’t gotten through the lifestyle that the two of us had to endure.” He retorted before looking off to the side with a grumble.

“Relax, relax. I wasn’t particularly critical about the relationship between you two, and you are right, I do have no personal experience when it comes to siblings, let alone a life of poverty.” Bakuss answered with a sideway glance towards him.

“But that still doesn’t mean you two are off the hook for again being little market thieves. In fact, what the heck is taking Farries so long?” Bakuss added.

Najero just shrugged.

Bakuss, in turn, just mumbled something to himself before focusing back at the ‘ling in front of him. “You come along. I am obviously not risking myself by leaving you unwatched, not matter how true your story is. Go up in front and I will follow, just head into that alley over there where your other half and the mare have disappeared to.” Bakuss instructed.

The changeling nodded before doing just that, leading the way in front the captain.

Bakuss followed the changeling, passing by Najero and entering the side alley where Farries disappeared.

What he saw left him a bit annoyed. “Farries, why have you been standing there this entire time without doing anything?” Bakuss questioned as he and the other ‘ling approached him.

Farries looked over his shoulder. “Well, what the heck I am supposed to do when both of them are knocked out on the wall over there? I certainly don’t know any medical or healing related spells if that’s what you are thinking.” Farries responded, which caused Bakuss to sigh.

“Ugh… for the love of…” He mumbled as he looked over at the two still, mangled and unconscious forms.

How could you run and crash into someone so hard that it caused both parties to be knocked out cold in the first place? Well, hitting the end of a wall might be the trick. Plus both where mares as well, easily distinguishable from the somewhat suggestive posi…

Bakuss blinked, before looking away with a facehoof. “You know, it’s rather perverted to stare down at two unconscious mares’ flanks like that. At least now I bloody know what actually took you so long.” Bakuss commented out loud.

Farries just rubbed his head awkwardly with a sheepish smile while the other changeling was glaring at him with great disapproval, especially given that it was HIS mate that this random changeling was staring at. His best source of love, both literally and for food.

“Hey, stop staring down at my sister, you freak of nature.” Najero also added after hearing Bakuss’ comment himself.

This caused both of the two still-standing changelings to glare at him instead.

“What?” Najero flinched back, which in turn just made Bakuss to hold his face with a groan.

“Even without the king around, chaos and utter nonsense still seems to find its way regardless of his presence. I wonder what else could just go ridiculous for no good reason.”

Chapter 21: The MAD king and the Princess

Chapter 21: The MAD King and the Princess

Edited by: pahnazd, Samellan

Because I am to lazy to search for more editors.

“Your Highness, wait for us!” I heard one of my guards shout as I casually strolled down the steps that will lead me into the city proper.

I just ignored the clambering of hooves behind me as I continued my descent. After a long day of basically doing jack shit, I decided to maybe take a personal stroll through the town because… why the fuck not?

I didn’t have access to the Internet anymore, which basically meant that I needed SOMETHING to entertain myself with my lack of YouTube and all that kind of crap. I mean, reading books if fine until you realize that most of the Zebra Alphabetic system is still as unknown as it always had been since day one.

When would I finally get to learning the native’s alphabetic system I will never know, but I am sure that I will eventually learn it sooner or later when the shit hits the fan… again.

Need to be able to read the logistic and victory reports, after all, when someone else decides to test my ire and my limited span of attention. Need to remember to NOT drink myself silly with caffeine next time so that I can get a chance to see some of the action myself. I bet actual warfare beats any filmed adaptation ever created by Hollywood or anyone else by a long shot.

Either way, here I was, going down for a stroll into the town with Penelope on one arm and my trusty mug in the other. Oh, and, of course, with someone tailing my sorry ass with her ass and a tray full of coffee-filled kettles balanced on her back.

It’s actually Ashika, one of the original dragon sitters that I have hired in the beginning. Such a good girl, isn’t she? And, apparently, quite a beauty too, in the eyes of the Palace guards. Such horse steak caned perverts.

Hmm… I wish I had a good piece of schnitzel right now, with a squeeze of lemon on top of it and french fries. Yep, I’m impersonating Homer Simpson’s gurgling and drooling right now.

“Your Highness, please, wait up!” I heard the same guard shout as the cantering of hooves came closer and closer towards us.

I just mumbled to myself before heeding them by stopping and turning around to see a set of four guards cantering down. One of them immediately caught my eye as someone I quickly recognized.

“Ahh, hey, Liuanda. How is your period going? Hope it’s well and isn’t too much of a distraction to others.” I casually greeted, which caused the mare in question to skid to a halt and look up at me with wide eyes.

The rest of the guards did as well, before switching their gaze onto their fellow guardsmare in a combined and team-oriented effort.

She immediately shrunk back, blushed, or so I guess. Can’t really see many facial features with these fully-enclosed helmets and faceguards that these guys like to use. Well, in her case, it’s a chick, but whatever.

She began to stutter. “Wha-what? No! I am not on my monthly…” She tried to clarify before I calmly raised a hand to silence her.

I pointed behind her. “Well then, please explain to me what those red spots behind you on the stairs are? Strawberry jam? Do you guys even have strawberry jam or strawberries in general? Because I could seriously use some strawberry ice cream right about now, thanks to the never ending summer this place has. Hmm, strawberry ice cream…”I questioned after finishing another Homer Simpson-style drool impersonation, going completely off-topic again, as usual.

Both her and the guards looked back to see exactly what I was talking about. To my mild amusement, they immediately spotted what I was talking about, which didn’t exactly bode well for poor old Liu over here, as she seemed even more embarrassed than she was before.

“What… that’s… that’s not…” She tried to explain herself before one of the guards beside her suddenly perked up.

“Oh, wait… I totally forgot.” He announced before shoving his hoof inside a saddlebag on the right side of his armor, pulling out a somewhat cracked corked vial with a red liquid inside.

“I was supposed to bring this red ink to my wife yesterday after I bought it in the market. She is a vase painter, but apparently I forgot to bring it to her and most likely the vial got cracked in my bag when I threw my armor down at the barracks to get washed up. Sorry, but those red spots must be coming from this, especially now that I can see the ink leaking from my pouch as well.” He explained, looking down at the obvious spot in the fabric, much to Liu’s relief.

But she obviously wasn’t out of the woods yet. My inner troll demanded MORE. “Even so, I know for a fact that you Zebras are practically naked under all that steel. No undergarments or thongs to speak of.” I raised my mug in the air in a dramatics pose. “The day shall come when stuff starts dripping from your crotch simply because there is nothing there to stop it. And then… AND THEN.” I paused. “…and then…” I began to think. ”…and then…” I took a sip of coffee. “Ah, yes… and then I will be the first to see it… and do absolutely fucking nothing, because it’s disgusting and too much effort to point out again. Too lazy for that jazz and uncaring for the second time.” I announced before taking another sip from my mug. “Or too busy drinking some coffee, just like now, to really give a damn. I don’t even remember what I was talking about.” I finalized before turning around and continuing my descent down the road to Purgatory… or something like that.

Ashika, of course, followed, staying quiet, while Penelo was too busy munching on her gem that I gave her prior to leaving for the city.

I, obviously, left the group of guards confused and speechless behind me as I only heard the clip clopping of Ashika’s hooves following me, accompanied by baby talk and the footsteps coming from my flip flops-wearing feet.

Well, you see, wearing them in the city is fine, but out in the desert it obviously isn’t. But don’t worry, I already ordered a batch of… enclosed flip flops for such occasions. I guess, the proper term would be Crocs? Half shoes? Whatever.

After a while, I finally heard the telltale sign of more quadrupeds running down the stairs to catch up with me. Right in time too, as me, Penelo, and my coffee-maid reached the lower-most gates of these steps that separated the path up to the Palace with the rest of the mortals living below.

I said mortals because I have already gone MAD with power… well, okay, not really, just want to spice up my monologues a bit, that’s all.

I gave the guards posted at the gates the signal to let us through, which they did in a heartbeat, while at the same time my followers arrived behind me to… well, follow me.

Liuanda was huffing a bit through her faceguard as she came up to my side. “I still think that taking a stroll through the city streets is a bad idea, especially with this whole changeling debacle still being marked as unsolved.“ The young Sergeant commented as the gates were opened.

I just scoffed her off, like how I always do. “Nonsense there, Liu. The ‘ling already said that almost all of them out there are just refugees, which means that they are as harmful as newborn iguana without any teeth. Besides, I have you tin cans to keep an eye on things as well. Everything will be fine.” I assured her before taking my first few steps into a chain of events that will leave me both giddy and questionable towards the luck lottery that I must have drawn when I first got conceived into this world through the mixing of two liquids.

I must say, it could be quite possible that I have somehow stolen some of the luck from others who were born the same moment I was. Too bad for them, I guess, because I am NOT giving it back. Not that I would know how, but then again, who cares.

Finders keepers, I guess.

But I am not foreshadowing anything now, am I?

Either way, with the gates open and basically nothing standing in the way of my fantastic adventures that will make me even richer and everybody else tremendously confused as to how I managed to do that, and basically do what I have always been doing whenever I took a pointless and really nonessential stroll through this town at the very beginning. See everything, touch everything, and make one or two individuals really uncomfortable with my presence alone. Mostly antics related, of course. If you think that this was physically related, then shame on you. You all must be forgetting that I, too, have morals.

Liuanda just sighed next to me. “Well, still. You are still in the safest care up at the Palace, instead of just randomly roaming around the streets of the city with nothing but four Palace guards tailing you. Even without the changeling problems, the streets can still be somewhat of a danger for you simply because of your status, Your Highness.” She added.

I took a sip first before replying. “Well, in that case you four better do a damn good job in keeping my ass safe from any crazed butt-stabbers that may roam these streets even in a full freaking day. See this as… training when shit really hits the old Desk Fan in my cousin’s basement.” I answered casually before taking another sip of coffee, finishing all what was left in my mug.

I gave Ashika my mug for refilling, which she did rather quickly before giving back my mug with a full load of bug… uh, I mean, coffee. Thinking about that changeling again… actually, not again, I never thought about it, besides now after mentioning it myself.

See, once more a perfect example as to how the truly mad ones are the most self-conscious of a society.

Liuanda still seemed conflicted about this, yet nodded to my way of reasoning, before keeping her gaze and ears forward.

The city was as busy as ever. Zebras where cantering around the Persian styled houses and buildings, most of them noticing our presence and giving me bows of respect as we passed.

I am not a particular fan of guys bending over for me, but hey, what can you do, really. The mares are also a problem, for obvious reasons.

Either way, strolling through the city is as eventful as it could be, but that is the point. I want a casual little stroll through the streets and not some hair-raising adventure that will send me off to a world that looks more outlandish and alien then this one.

Anyway, reaching the Market was also nothing to write home about. Zebras of all colors and ages were cantering through the many shops and stalls that the vendors had built up, ranging from simple bread to shiny accessories. The colorful forest of carpets hanging above was a wonderful relief for anyone who wished to escape the never ending onslaught of the evening sun, blanketing the entire Market, or, should I say, Bazaar, in a sea of shadows to walk under.

It was here where my sense of random adventures and the never ending trolling of the universe once again took its toll. Me and my guards managed to come across a very unusual sight, a semi-collapsed building at the end of the Plaza, with many Zebras circling around it. Not sure what the gist of this was, but I obviously had my own childish curiosity lead me to it, so asking questions was silly and pointless at this point.

Because I would obviously receive the answers anyway when I get closer. I am the motherfucking King, after all.

Me and my guards began to hear the ongoing commotion as we got closer.

“… yeah, our shop just suddenly began to show cracks before collapsing for seemingly no reason. We have no idea why, and going back to collect what is left is obviously too dangerous. We only managed to get out just in time before everything began to shake.” I heard a random stallion explain as we finally reached the back most row of this semi-formed circle.

A lot of Zebras at the back immediately noticed our presence with surprised eyes before respectively parting ways and bending over in front of me. Again, not the biggest fan of this submissive cult that these Zebras have going up here, but who am I to judge their lustful needs and culture? I am just a stupid white persona, after all. Plus, it's already bad enough that some of these mammals follow the same short-cut tail style that Nami loves going with, giving any poor or lucky soul behind them a front view of whatever jewels or accessories these kinky little Zebras carry.

Most of them being mares, again… of course. These chicks take the FKK culture movement to a whole new level.

“Everyone, part ways. The King himself has arrived.” One of my stud guards shouted, which, in turn, did the trick in getting EVERYONE’S attention.

All of their collective ears went stiff before copycatting the ones at the back as if they lacked any sense of originality inside of them to do so in any other way.

More bending over, more asses up in the air for all to see, and more things for anyone to stare at.

I just leave them as they were, making my way through the path towards the ruin that these lovely citizens provided for me. All of my guards swiftly followed me, of course. In front of the home were a pair of Zebras, one dick and one chick respectively, looking somewhat messed up and on edge.

The pair also bowed, pointing their collective rears directly at the collapsed home.

“Your Highness… your presence is quite unexpected. We are honored to have you here.” The mare greeted, her face still kissing the dirt.

I just waved her off. “Well… yes, of course it is.” I replied before noticing that the two were still mimicking the pope. “You two can rise, by the way.” I added.

The two did just that, rising from their bows and looking up at me with very expectant expressions. They were obviously confused as to why I was here, but before they asked, I quickly pointed a hand at the direction of the broken home.

“Well, tell me what happened here. Why has this two story building been demoted into a one story one? Or is this perhaps the second floor that I am looking at now? Kind of hard to judge with the half sunken entrance at the front.” I questioned.

The pair looked over their shoulders before turning back towards me. The stallion nodded. “Well, yes, that IS the second floor. The entrance that you see is actually the exit towards the balcony up front it used to have, Your Highness.” The dude answered.

I rubbed my chin, only now noticing the rubble of stone and wood in front of the door.

I looked back down at the two, after taking another sip, of course. “Has anyone already investigated as to why this building suddenly began to sink into the ground?” I questioned further, while Penelope finally finished her third gem of the day.

The stallion shook his head. “No, Your Highness. It is far too dangerous for anyone now to…” I cut him off with a raise of my mug.

“Then I shall do it. For the safety of my people and the obvious brownie points I will receive for doing so.” I declared, before turning towards the shocked expression of Liuanda. “Take Penelope off me, will ya? Don’t want to endanger an infant, after all, who still has a whole life ahead of her. Not to mention, being the heir of my throne.” I requested before placing Penelope on top of her back, which caused her to babble.

Liuanda was, of course, against this idea. “Your Highness, you can’t possibly be serious!” She demanded, quite literally in fact judging her voice.

I just took a sip. “Of course I am serious, little ol’ Liu. Just imagine the political bonuses and support I could receive for doing this myself. Nothing will stay in my way towards the road to victory.” I explained before strolling towards the sunken shop.

Liu quickly followed me. ”What political bonuses? YOU ARE THE KING! Your reign in absolute with political rivals being basically nonexistent!” She retorted as I ducked through the sunken doorway of the balcony.

I just grinned back at her. “Does that mean that one couldn’t possibly arise at any moment? You need to remember that the world of power is always on the move, and just like the natural desire for greed, someone might eventually get the idea of upstaging me and undermining me for a chance to the throne. Power is addictive, after all.” I announced, standing tall inside the second floor and looking around.

Liu simply groaned. “Well then, at least let one of us perform this obviously dangerous task. You are too valuable to be put in harm’s way, Your Highness. You are the only symbol of reunification after a…” Liu tried to explain, before a very ominous sounding rumble swiftly cut her out. Not just audibly, but physically as well.

Everybody, including me, froze, as the rumble seemed to come directly under me.

I automatically looked down to the ground. Cracks were slowly forming on the very floor I was standing on. It doesn’t take a genius to understand the implication this turn of events makes.

I abruptly had a sudden case of the “Shit for brains”, as I dumbly stared at the ominously forming cracks that were circled around my feet. Liu was the first to recover from her shock as her head immediately snapped up towards me. Her eyes wide as dinner plates without the dinner.

“YOUR HIGHNESS, GET OUT OF THERE!” She shouted, which was a tad bit too late for her efforts.

The ground immediately gave way, causing everyone to freeze in absolute horror as I followed its path.

”AHHH, SHIT FOR BRAINS!” I shouted in panic as I quickly grabbed for the closest thing that my adrenaline powered arm could reach. Which, unfortunately, was Penelope herself, as I grabbed onto her tail.

She just laughed and clapped her stubby little hands together in blissful joy as she unintentionally fell into the hole with me. Especially when the ground finally decided to fully disappear on us, causing me and Penelo to fall down into the dark abyss below. Screaming and laughing respectively.

“YOUR HIGHNEEEEeeeeeeesssssssss!” I could hear Liu shout from above as me and my little bundle of joy were disappearing into the darkness below.

I looked up at Penelo, who was still laughing her giddy head off despite the serious situation we found ourselves in.

I pulled her closer with a grin. “You know, you have the right attitude here. If I am going to die, then I might die while laughing my ass off. No need to scream when you can give both death and fate a big fat middle finger.” I exclaimed with the rushing air and falling debris around us. “For Madness and zero fucks given! Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!” I laughed alongside Penelope as we continued to fall.

And who knows, maybe this hole is actually a gateway to the realm of Wonderland, similar to the famous book. That would certainly be a trip worth going, the second best in my opinion, right after the Shivering Isles themselves. Two places that truly reflect my interest for nonsense, stupidity and insanity.
Wonderland, here I come!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

(At the other end of the abyss)

Palmyria couldn’t believe how quickly her mother managed to find out her true allegiance in the current situation. She should have known that her own mother would be keeping a keen eye on her, especially when she was first caught aiding those who she shouldn’t be.

Her mother had sent a changeling infiltrator to tail her when she was escorted back to her room on that one fateful day. Spying on her own flesh and blood, another perfect sign of her mother’s growing paranoia and steady descent into her own self-inflicted madness.

The infiltrator must have seen it all, including her journey into the Hive Archives and her interaction with Cyrus. This scenario certainly made sense in the Princess’ mind, while she was being cornered by her mother’s own bodyguards.

The Princess herself had her own, though, but her’s were swiftly cut away by the surprising and more brutal nature of her mother’s own personal guards.

One by one, they fell trying to keep their dear little Princess safe from their own Queen, until nothing but her two servants and herself were left standing against five highly trained elites.

This was a disaster, not only has she been spied on and intercepted without her even knowing, but now she was cornered without even a chance of an opening to escape. She was this close, this close to reaching the surface herself and finally leaving this chaos behind to plan a much more organized rebellion against her mother’s tyranny with the help of Cyrus.

But now, all of these dreams and ambitions seemed to be on the verge of death, just like her’s, if her mother hate was concerned. Even she, her own daughter, wasn’t safe from her mother’s murderous rampage.

“Well, well, Princess.” The leader of the guards chuckled darkly as he walked towards the frightened princess and her followers. “Seems like your little spree of treason is at its end before it could even begin. Your mother, the Queen, will be most pleased with me and my comrades if we bring your little dainty flank over to her for interrogation. And let me tell you, she was FAR from pleased when she heard that YOU were actually part of this “rebellion” that is constantly being talked about. I do not envy you, Princess, I have to say.” The Guard Captain commented, his smirk never leaving his fanged muzzle.

The Princess’ fear was obvious, yet she still found her voice to reply. “Why… why are you doing this? Can’t you all see that she is clearly not well in her mind, if not from sheer physical appearance, then from the Hivemind itself? Haven’t you heard the mad whispers and strange energies coming from it?” The Princess asked, trying to reason with these changelings.

Her efforts were in vain, however.

The lead guard just shook his head. “Nice try there, Princess, but we are fully aware of your mother's desires in re-introducing the Hivemind back into our society. To have more control and to sense all the little stragglers who still defy her. That’s why we are following her orders, because she feeds us with this delicious energy through it and promises us great rewards for hauling you back to her hooves. Either with or without force.” He threatened before he and his guards finally began closing in, cleavers drawn and ready to strike if necessary.

Palmyria knew what that statement meant, an obvious sign that told her that her mother must have used the Hivemind to subtly brainwash some of her closest. But all of that didn’t matter anymore, the guards were closing in, ready to do what was necessary to send her back to her mother where there would most likely be no more escaping for her.

She began to silently cry, simply submitting to her fate. Maybe if she let them, these stallions might spare her two equally terrified servants next to her. Too many good changelings have already died today, in her opinion.

Or she could try to make a stand, bet all of her chances of escaping, and fight her way through this. She may not be particularly experienced when it came to the art of combat, but she did possess a healthy amount of knowledge when it came to combat magic instead, accompanied by a very high manapool to draw from as well.

She was still a changeling Princess, and being one had its advantages after all.

She was ready. With her mind made up and her will firm, she began to lower her stance in preparation of what was to come. She knew that she had to confront her own mother sooner or later. So why not start to actively fighting back now, while she was still able to draw breath? If she couldn’t, then what good is she towards the insurrection and her future position as the Queen?

She will not be forced to return to her mother, especially when so many of her subjects have already placed their trust in her when it was known that she was ready to actively work against her own mother for the sake of returning everything as it was.

It was now or never for her.

She was about to charge up her horn when an ominous rumble interrupted her.

A few rocks fell from above, hitting some of the guards’ helmets, forcing them to halt and look up.

Both the Princess and her servants did so as well, as more rocks and a very ominous sounding scream came from the collapsed ceiling above. Every ‘ling below had a look of confusion and curiosity plastered on their muzzles, which quickly changed into full-blown panic as the pebbles suddenly turned into huge ass boulders suddenly emerging from the never-ending darkness above, accompanied by the sound of… laughter?

The Princess and her servants immediately fell back, while the guards just stayed rooted, staring up dumbly at the approaching danger, similar to a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car.

The first to react was their Captain. “You two, quickly get out of the…” He tried to call, but it was already too late.

The massive boulders were faster than expected, starting to make ground fall around the now frightened party, causing dust and debris to be kicked up, which caused both irritation and more panic within the group.

Both the Princess and her two followers automatically huddled together as some of the rocks came dangerously close to hitting them as well. Not so lucky for some of the guards, though, as two huge thuds and some sickly sounding splashes could be heard within the chaos, followed by the two voices becoming quite clear and distinct.

“woooooooooooooooooooondeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND” The scream said, accompanied by the out-of-place laughter that followed it.

As the rocks finally ceased to come, two figures quickly followed, one landing directly onto of a guard’s back, while another crashed firmly onto another guard's head, knocking both out and probably breaking the other's back, if the cringe worthy crack was anything to go by.

The cute laughter continued to persist as the dust finally settled. Both the remaining guards and their victims looked up from behind their forelegs, only to be confused and firmly shocked at what they saw. A small giggling dragon and a strange… bipedal, sitting on top of what was left of the Queen’s Obsidian guard.

“So, instead of Wonderland or the Shivering Isles, I just ended up in a dark dank place? If this is what a night with a hooker looks like, then please, sign me out. I at least want to see who I slapped, but instead I see nothing.” The tall creature groaned.

The little baby dragon just continued to clap its stubby little claws as it laughed. Despite the situation, the Princess had no choice but to smile a bit at the young bundle of joy in front of her, too young and innocent to fully understand what was happening around her. Or she thinks it’s a her.

The creature looked over at the laughing drake, before carefully picking her up from its position, or rather his position if his voice was anything to go by.

“You little daredevil, you. Well, probably literally, given your species. Laughing at the face to death like that. From a Flamethrower to a BADASS Flamethrower. You will make a fine drake one day… if my guards somehow fail me, that is, and I would need something better instead. Yeah… yeah. that would work.” The creature cooed. much to the baby dragon’s joy.

She just giggled. before curiously munching on the creature’s clothing out of nowhere. The creature on the other hoof ignored it as he was more focused on the colorful trinket he was holding. In fact, this trinket had a very happy but strange looking face on it with some alien text underneath it.

It was clear that the sense of danger has long was replaced by a sense of curiosity, especially in the Princess’s mind.

“Huh… I could have sworn that there was still coffee inside before I fell.” The creature wondered. Being quite oblivious about the Captain that was now glaring daggers at him. Something the Princess herself saw, thanks to the creature.

“You foul beast, I don’t know what in the Queen’s name you are, or where you’re from. But you shall pay for your disruption and the murder of my…” The captain tried to bark, before being interrupted by a brown liquid that fell squarely on his face from above, and, judging by the steam coming off of it, it seemed to be pretty hot.

And, judging by its reaction, that certainly was true.

“AHHHHHHH, MY EYES, MY EYES!” The Captain shouted, much to everyone’s surprise.

Except for the creature, though. In fact, the Captain’s scream startled him, and with a reaction speed that would put even a well-trained changeling battle mage to shame, managed to bang his mug directly at the Captain’s armored head, making a loud clanging sound and sending the poor stud flying at the nearest wall, either dead or just unconscious.

Either way, two dead, another two dead or unconscious, with the Captain himself also knocked out, all of which has happened in a span of just half a minute, five times faster than her own well-trained guards could have managed to hold off a small group of elites.

Either Palmyria is seeing things, or this might actually be the luckiest day of her life.

Unbeknownst to her, it was actually the latter.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jeezus bloody Christ, first I barely survived a fall to god knows where, and then all of the sudden this changeling starts screaming like a pig that is about to be brutally murdered by a butcher.

I should know, because I heard it.

Granted, he was about to stick me with his jet black cleaver, but still, a guy like me has some pretty sensitive ears, especially when all I have been hearing so far were high pitched giggles from small dragon baby and the added noise of rushing air passing through my ears drums.

Overall not a very fun time to fall into a hole.

Either way, everything hurts and feels sore thanks to the landing, and I am also currently feeling pain inside my soul as well for having lost a good cup of steaming coffee on the way down. Not to mention towards this dude too, who, instead of drinking it like a semi normal person, simply decided to rub it all into his eyeballs instead, like the uneducated beast that he is. No sense of culture and respect.

Rubbing coffee into your eyeballs. Where the fuck are we?

But, anyway, now that I am here, with all of adrenaline from falling to my demise having long disappeared from my system, it more or less gave me perfect opportunity to reflect on the physical impossibility of me having somehow survived this fall. Granted, I did manage to land on something soft enough to absorb most of the stopping force, but that still didn’t make much sense given how far I actually fell, let alone on what I landed.

“Actually, what did I land on?” I thought to myself as the realization quickly crossed my mind.

I looked down, only for me to press my lips together. “Well, looks like I squished a bug. Not a first in my life, I have to say.” I told myself, scratching my head with the mug… which, by the way, didn’t work that well.

I was about to get lost in my thoughts once more when I suddenly noticed something else in the corner of my eye. It was more of those ‘lings, though looking somewhat terrified, unlike that one joker with the stick.

The one in the center looked especially intriguing, it had colorful robes, bling to make even some of the Pimpest Pimps lower their 1000 euro novelty glasses in curiosity, and, judging by its figure, those obvious eyelashes, and even more obvious hair, I would guess that this is a chick.

A chick-ling, as I like to call it. Though, it is nice to see that she at least has what can be considered as a freaking tail. At this point I have become super paranoid and critical to every mare I came across. I have seen way too many naked quadrupeds so far with tails that put a bunny’s one to shame.

Maybe it’s about time to introduce the concept of undergarments to these sapient animals. Or maybe just a thong, so that males of the same species still have something to stare at. With the way their privates just stick out from their flesh, it shouldn’t be too far-fetched to assume that they are still going to be visible through the fabric. So in that sense, the sex appeal of these mares should still be intact.

I immediately stood up, ignoring the soreness in my… well, everywhere, and forcing myself to grin. I kept both my mug and my drake close to me, before raising my empty mug again, which made my previous statement a waste of words.

“Greetings, I came in peace and to bring a message from the above world. It is very bright up there and unbearably hot. So better bring some shades, or sun cream if you’re visiting. Also, I wish to speak with your leaders now, if that is okay. Because in every alien meets human story, they always wish to speak to the world leaders.” I greeted, raising my mug at them, Bavarian style.

Just imagine it’s a mug of beer, and you get the gist. Even though I am actually from Nordrhein Westfalen and nowhere near Bavaria, or Bayern, as it’s called in the native language.

You racist English speakers.

The ‘lings just looked up at me in confusion, which was totally my intention. It took them a while to defrag their processing cores, but eventually they did. They looked at one another with questioning looks. The first one to brave the unknown was the chick with the kick. Because I am sure that flank of hers must be a real eye catcher for anyone capable of catching something.

I suck at catching balls, so there is that… no, actual balls, like tennis or rubber balls, you perverts.

As I said, the chick without a dick spoke. “Well, uhm… that, that kinda would be me… I’m… I’m kinda the Princess of this Hive that sits deep below us.” The self-proclaimed Princess responded.

I just puckered my lips with Penelo doing the same after she was done drenching my right sleeve in her spit. Disgusting, but nothing I can really do about at the moment.

Though, before I could speak, the mare in front of me beat me to it. “Wait a minute, are you… are you this new King that I have heard about? I think, I have a few artifacts of the above world that depicts your kind in a more royal, or godlike, status. Is any of that true?” The Disney Princess questioned, looking up at me with both curiosity and wonder.

Not sure what she meant about the god part, but I know for a fact that she at least did the King part right.

I just nodded, much to her widening eyes. “Well, yes, apparently I AM the new King of these white a black striped equines. But, between you and me, I am sometimes too comfortable to do any King stuff, I just come up with the ideas while the others do the actual dirty work. It’s good to be the King, sometimes.” I answered with a distant smile on my face. Just imagining myself procrastinating on the throne, surrounded by all the cheese.

Funny, but after many, many trials and errors, the throne somehow managed to become somewhat comfortable. Either it’s just my sitting muscles adjusting to the crap factor, or maybe it’s because of the ridiculous overuse of pillows that basically hide most of the throne below them at this point.

Pretty sure it’s the latter.

Either way, her eyes immediately went wide in surprise, as expected. She quickly gave me a respectful bow, a move that I have explained many times doesn’t work well for sense of morals. But then again, it was kinda traditional back then, for everyone to bend over and beg to get shafted up the rectum by their rulers… or, maybe, it’s just my imagination.

Stupid overexposure to the Internet. If you can’t find anyone else to put your blame on, then just blame the Internet instead. It always works.

Anyway, thankfully, it was just a quick bow. She rose back up as quickly as she could, though with a smile on her face that immediately sent off all kinds of alarm bells inside my head, made even worse considering that I have a kid with me.

I steeled myself for what was to come as she opened her mouth. “Oh, this certainly has to be the luckiest day of my life. This immediately opens up so many possibilities!” The little Princess exclaimed with glee.

I looked at her, skeptically. “What kind of options?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

She just kept smiling. “Well, the possibility of talking to someone who can teach me all about the surface world’s culture, customs, and overall lifestyle!” She answered.

This, though, confused me a little bit, as it obviously wasn’t the outcome I was fearing just a moment ago. But before I could say anything again, she continued… again.

So, this is how it feels to NOT be me, then… I don’t like it.

“You see, I have always been so fascinated about the life, cultures and art of all the other races that live in the outside world ever since I was a nymph. I have been reading a lot of ancient scrolls, talked to a lot of changelings and scholars that have actually been there, and even visited the outside world a couple of times myself, bringing back some of their artifacts and trinkets in these brief visits. But now that I am standing in front of the new Zebra King himself, this opportunity should certainly be better than any scroll or story I have read and heard so far. I just can’t wait to learn personally more about you culture.” She rambled, basically rapid firing her memories in one single breath.

Well, I am not really sure if changelings even need to breathe in the first place. But then again, who cares. Couldn’t possibly be as outlandish like breathing through your own rectum. A certain turtle species actually does that.

I personally just let her ramble on. Not sure how long or how extensive her fangasm was, but judging by the awkward looks that her two flankers were sharing, it certainly must have been long enough.

She thankfully stopped though, as she began to breathe heavily. At least, that answered that question.

She looked up at me sheepishly. “Sorry… I, uh… got a little carried away there.” She apologized, which in turn made me shake my head.

“It’s fine. I am quite new with the “Girls going nuts about me” kind of feeling myself.” I responded truthfully.

She just nodded before rubbing the back of her head. She looked over at something that was behind me and sighed. I followed her gaze and saw more ‘lings scattered about behind the collection of rubble. Not sure what the story of all of these dead bodies is, but then again, I kinda don’t care about it. Cruel, I know, but at the same time, none of my business. Especially, when I just fell through a hole.

That reminds me. “Hey.” I called out to get her attention. “Do you maybe know a way back up to the surface? Me being gone, or rather them thinking that I might have bitten the bucket thanks to my previous fall, might not yield any favorable results the longer I wait down here. So, me getting back up to the surface might actually be a good idea in this regard.” I explained, which caused the Princess to perk up.

“Uhhhh, yea-yeah, I do, actually. I was making my way up to the surface as well, before… well… me and my escorts kinda got ambushed and attacked on the way there. Lost so many good changeling because of it.” She answered, looking and sounding quite sad while looking down in front of her. Her right hoof pawing the ground, too.

I pressed my lips together at this knowledge as I looked back at the carnage behind me. “So, I technically saved you ass by just dropping from the sky?” I asked, looking back at her.

She nodded before smiling. “Yes, you did, and you have no idea how thankful I and my two servants are to you. I think, leading you towards the surface would be the very least I could do to thank you. Plus… if you’ll allow me, I would also like to have a much more proper audience with you once we reach the destination. There is something very important I would love to ask you, King… uh…” She replied before looking up questionably.

“Alex, or Alexander Becker as a whole. But for simplicity’s sake, just call me Alex, everybody does it.” I introduced myself.

She again smiled before lowering her head once more. “Well, it is an honor then to make your acquaintance, King Alex. My name is Princess Palmyria of the changelings, but you can just call me Palmyria instead if the added title is too much of a mouthful.” She replied before raising up again.

I nodded before stepping off to the side. “Well then, lead the way, my dear Princess. Time is money, after all… or morality, in my case.” I gestured with my mug.

She, again, just nodded before leading the way.

Not sure what I managed to get myself into by falling from a collapsed building, but I am sure it will all sort itself out eventually. Plus, I might just have gotten my chance of getting myself a new Race under my banner.

More cogs for the grand machine. Can’t have enough cogs.

Chapter 22: Too lazy for this shit

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Chapter 24: More talking less action...which is good

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 25: Arranging the pieces on the board, for dummies

Author's Note

Another chapter done, technically I can release a couple of more, but both my laziness and the speed at which my editors work sometimes prevents me from doing so.

A few more are long done, but either need some proofreading first, or a sketch to go along with them.

Chapter 25: Arranging the pieces on the board, for dummies

Edited by: fistfire

“So it’s settled then. We are going to be assisting these Rebels in trying to move against their queen and basically place her daughter in her place?” Bakuss questioned as I was busy sipping on my brew like how I always do. Long, loud and way too much of this stuff in a single day.

But then again, you cannot possibly have too much coffee in your entire life. Especially with a job that is so stressful like this one. One problem follows after another, which is also one of the reasons as to why I drink so much coffee in the first place. Trying to recreate the scene I had during my caffeine induced trip I had during the battle and see if I could visit that one illusive chocolate making factory or not.

I mean I love chocolate, who the fuck doesn’t? Lizard people who are running the government that’s who…or at least that’s what all those tinfoil wearing hobos back home like to scream out of their lungs while also holding out a crudely written sign that even has some of the letters drawn backwards.

But alas, I am not saying that I haven’t tried wearing tinfoil hats myself. Mostly just for a shitty self-made costume for a holiday I couldn’t possibly give two ounces of fucks about because I am originally European and not American.
Talking about Halloween by the way.

I once again like to blame my cousin for this catastrophe by dragging something that I didn’t care about before. At least I had half of a mind to not waste my money on an actual costume. But the end result in making one instead of buying one like a normal person was…interesting to say the least. I just ended up exposing way too much skin than would be ethical allowed for kids to see. Because the damn thing kept falling off whenever I took a step which was really annoying.

Where was I? Ahh yes, I have some coffee to sip and some political faction crap to explain to everyone present within this room. My room in fact, which consisted of Aku, Susi, the Zebra form of Akadar and of course my trusty little captain as well.

Plus there where the two Gazelle sisters as well since this is THEIR idol that this campaigns will be mostly aimed for. Minus getting a whole new race and nation under my flag for helping the princess bitch slap her mother into space and beyond, before she finally ends up in a Galaxy far, far away where everybody wiggled around colorful light sticks and some of the most boring voodoo hoodoo I have ever seen…O rather not, minus the force lighting which is cool and one of the only things that is actually visible.

Well that was a thoughtful.

Anyway (I seem to say that a lot) I just nod after having taken yet another unnecessary long sip from my novelty mug.

“Well yes, it’s obviously within everyone interest that this issue get dealt with sooner rather than later. Having another potential war going off so close to home is really to no one's interest. So we shall strike swiftly and decisively before any real damage can be done. According to Cyrus, the queen has gone more and more mad with each passing day, with audible voices now echoing through the hive link. She is now beyond negotiations and probably needs an exorcist instead.” I replied, setting the mug down and repurposing my attention back to Penelo on my lap by feeding her some cheese.

Akadar nods to that. “Indeed, having such a crazy ruler with a whole loyal army of shapeshifting magic users on her side is to no one’s desire. Cyrus has told me that his underlings have managed to successfully make connection with those loyal to the princess and are ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice. All they need is the added support of both the city and palace guards in case things go wrong. Adding our forces with their own would mean that we automatically have the numerical advantage. Which is a good edge to have over the enemy.” Akadar commented, which in turn caused a couple of murmurs to erupt within the room.

I hummed to myself before replying. “Well that is all fine and good but you should know that having a numerical advantage alone doesn’t win battles or wars alone. As the very history of my world has proven time and time again. It’s all about the training and discipline of the troops, the equipment that they use and the very tactics and command structure they follow is what decides a battle’s outcome.” I added before taking yet another sip out of my mug.

Bakuss nods. “Indeed, though I like to personally admit that I and most likely a large majority of the guard have little to almost no experience when it comes to fighting magic user. And as we know so far, the changelings are a race that possess both passive and active magical abilities. Similar to unicorns and the such.” Bakuss added which again caused a couple of murmurs.

“Actually, I got that problem covered if some of you are wondering.” Liu happily announced as she suddenly entered the room through the front door.

Because how else would you enter my room anyway. Through the windows? Through a hidden passage behind a closet that I swear I don’t have?
Well anyway, back on topic.

“Oh and what solution will that be?” Bakuss asked.
Liu just continued to grin through her helmet less head which was a fresh sight. Though she still kept on her armor on so there was that.

“Well quite simple really.” She announced before pushing the door open even further, revealing a certain stallion that I have never seen before. But most curiously some of the heavily looking saddle-bags that he was carrying on his back.

My curiosity was peaked. “Oh, gifts from another tribe? Well I do hope that it is more exotic coffee beans similar to the first round of tributes I received after out first major victory on the big bridge. I could always use more to spice up my tastes and mornings.” I excitedly hoped. Clapping my hands in short glee which Penelope quickly mimicked.

Liu sadly just shook her head. “No, but at least you were right about the gift part there Your Highness. Because this is very much a gift from the tribe that occupies the area close to the bronze canyons after I sent a quick letter to my uncle who lives there.” Liu answered, her smile creeping back up onto her face afterwards.

I was even more intrigued now than ever. “Liu actually has an uncle.” I wondered to myself.

This completely out of context thought was missed by everyone…because, it happened inside my head so how would anyone know.

Bakuss actually took over my job to ask the proper question while I was mentally imagining how an uncle of Liu looked like.

“Well, tell us then Sergeant Liuanda. What is inside these bags that this stallion is carrying?” He asked while eying the newcomer curiously.

Liu nods before moving towards the bags to open one. She immediately sticks her hoof within its plump form and pulled a strangely simply and recognizable colorless crystal out of it.

The identity of this rock was at first unknown to me when my memory for once actually did its damn job by checking on all the hard drives connected to the main CPU and managed to pull out some information that has actually been stored.

But before I could openly speak the name that came into my mental forefront, Aku too it up to himself to beat me to it with his infinite old man wisdom and character.

“I would believe that this is Nethicite. Quite a rarity to find, unless you know where to look.” He babbled which caused a certain doe to immediately frown at the sight of one of these stones.

Liu again nods before quickly pulling out a second nethicite out of the bag, followed by a third and so on.

She grinned before looking back at the group. “See, all the nethicite we could possibly need in order to counter the magical abilities of the queen’s guards. Still not the most optimal solution, given the estimated numbers of hostiles down there, but still enough to significantly cripple the biggest advantage these changelings have. Their magic.” Liu added before stowing the few crystals she pulled out back into the bag.

I heard Mystic Gem huff behind me. “Well of course, it's not like you zebras possess any from natural affinities to magic yourself, so you only rely on items and trickery to solve your magic related problems for you. Basically, cheating and sleazing your way out and away from the established natural order from which our realm operates from. A big weakness if you ask me.” She openly criticized.

The outcome of her outburst was pretty predictable in the end. Liu was quietly glaring at her for her insult while Bakuss seemed more annoyed than anything else, with Little Stepped looking more disappointed in comparison.

The only three that looked a lot more critical with the doe’s bold statement where of course the one of the head honcho’s of this well-established hierarchy of the zebra culture. Including Aku, Susi and Akadar as well.
Aku was the first to open his mouth, in a calm and open-minded manner.

“As much I can understand your viewpoint about us young Mystic, I have to respectfully disagree with your statement. We zebra do make use of our own form of magic. Mostly revolving around alchemy and magical constructs in the past, which sadly have been somewhat lost over the passing of the centuries. Though Alchemy itself is still a very big part of zebra culture, being primarily practiced and studied by many zebra shamans both young and old. Especially those carrying the status of a High Shaman such as myself. The reason as to why nobody of you have seen me practicing or even studying alchemy in an open fashion is simply because of the lack of necessity for me to do so. Smaller independent shamans living in and around the city already fulfill that role in local shops and hospitals, which then only leaves me with the task of keeping the alchemical secrets and recipes alive and well kept for, while also acting as this cities custodian until the arrival of the true successor of the throne…”

“Which is me.” I interrupted him with a grin and a self-pointed finger which Penelo mimicked.

Aku nods before continuing.” Well yes, as I said. I was in the end mostly acting as this city’s steward before the true owner of the Lion’s Throne would arrive to take my place. So overall that was really my only main responsibility within the old capital, and to also act as the host for any council that would be held here within the palace.” Aku finally finished with a long sigh.

Again, can’t really confirm any of this knowledge he just spouted out, simply because I don’t know any. But I can still agree that he is at least telling the truth on one thing.

I have never seen him brew or stir a potion since my arrival. Either brew me some coffee or some poison would be my active moto here. Either help me relax during the day or help me smite my enemies in the most quiet and secret way possible. Though a decent massage will fulfill that as well, something I should seriously add to my ever-growing bucket list of things to request while still being the king.

Not particularly sure as to how effective a pair of hooves are when it comes to massages. But couldn’t possibly be any worse than that oversea cousin of mine used to provide.

His massages felt more like punching than anything else.

Anyway, Mystic Gem simply stayed silent from this point on afterwards. Little Stepped even openly provided sincere apologies for her sister’s behavior. Which in turn allowed the main topic of this meeting continue post haste. Revolving around these nethicide thingies and how she really got them all so quickly.

Apparently a large vein of nethicide was already discovered long before my appearance onto these lands was actually a thing. Residing around the same area that Liu previously mentioned. Bronze Canyon.

The only problem was that the actual existence of these veins was kept secret from everyone else for quite a long time. Because prior to my arrival, many of the different zebra tribes that primarily dot the northern and mid parts of this content have viewed themselves as rivals since the start of the Empire’s collapse. Which they still are by the way, only this time with the added benefits of having a single head figure to follow instead of just looking out for themselves before that.

Quite interesting to hear how a single thing can somewhat rekindle the need for some mutual cooperation and understanding in some of them. Like this one tribe who actually gave up their kinky little secrets to everyone in order to help the resurrection of the greater nation at large.

Quite inspiring to see how dedicated these striped equines are to reclaim their lost legacy. A large imposing empire, rich, wealthy and far reaching.

Well it’s a good thing that they have me, because I am definitely planning to do just that. Just so that I can have an excuse to finally play a total war game in a much grander scale.

Whoever said that video games stay in video is clearly mad.

I regain my outside perception after the wonderful gentleman’s…and woman’s let’s not the sexist here…were done with their discussions about this nethicite thing. Wondering if capitalizing more on these magic sucking rocks would be a possibility in the foreseeable future.

A concept that I could only agree upon because having an almost never-ending supply of soul gems can only be a good thing. For us of course while sucking for anyone else born with a horn…or a set of horns…or a dick that pisses out rainbow or whatever. Either way a lot of magic sucking shall take place within this new empire of mine, just to prevent any unfortunate experiences of receiving such magic up our asses. Well their asses, because I will be sitting on my ass most of the time.

Sex jokes, so many sex jokes lately and most likely more in coming if my track record is anything to go bye.

He, he, coming.

“Not sure or really care of what the princess has told me. But I still wish to personally throw this mother of hers against a bloody wall for holding onto OUR Idol for all this time. Possibly even misusing its intended use if the stories about her degrading insanity as anything to go by.” Mystic suddenly sprouted, which again took everyone’s attention within this large bedroom of mine after her long silence beforehand.

Bakuss himself was about to get up from his sitting position on the floor and protest to Mystic’s insane wishes, until he and the rest of the room seemed to realize something else that she just sprouted.
Even Penelope, as she stopped for just a second from nibbling on my shirt, before continuing with much gusto and little care in the world.

Bakuss arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean by misuse?” Bakuss questioned.
Little Steppes was also looking at her sister curiously before an invisible light bulb seemed to go off inside that little doe’s head.

“Oh yeah wait a minute. What where the stories that our elder told us about the rituals require to tap into the magical essence of the physical from of our deity?” Stepped curiously asked while looking to her sister with the same expression.

Mystic on her part just kept to her frown as she looked to her sister. “Well I am not really surprised that you already forgotten that sister. The way you always kept staring at the young stags around you during our lessons, pretty much says it all what your attention was really focused to.” She replied, much to Little Stepped’s dismay as her wide eyes and prompt expression were anything to go by.

She immediately went red all over her face after she said that. Looking awkwardly down onto the ground while pawing it with her hoof.

I scared her even further when I called her out. “Hey, no scraping the carpets, they are very expensive…I think, and I don’t feel like having to replace them myself at some point in my life after all of this is said and done.” I pointed out, raising an accusing finger at the offending doe while the other was being sucked upon by a small baby drake.

She had somehow, at some point abandoned my shirt for something more fleshy and alive. Close to the verge of talking and already trying to have her first taste in blood…I am getting more and more proud of her development with each passing day.

Yes, be fearsome while still staying adorable. Feardorable, the most effective combination of all time. First “aww” them with your eyes, and then punch them when they least expect it. Go straight for the jugular or face, or just spew them alive with your flames of resolutions. Warhammer 40K style, only less Emperor and more Monkey King at the end.

Either way, this comment was enough for Susi to finally break her silence from this conversation. “Why would you worry about that in the first place Your Highness. Even if you forget to get it replaced the servants that clean your room everyday will most likely not.” She commented.

“Plus these carpets aren’t really that expensive anyway. They are made by local weavers outside the city walls, along the twin rivers.” She added.

This of course almost caused me to gag out my coffee when I was trying to take another sip from my mug. I was about to comment on the insult of ME having been walking upon cheaply made carpets for all this time when I noticed the anonymous look Little Steppes was trying to give out.

I knew that she was keeping quiet in hopes of changing the open topic on everyone’s mind. A move that I obviously can’t condole as my inner troll demands it.

I diverted my attention back at the doe who was looking back at me in kind. “Anyway, who were these “young stags” that your sister mentioned? I am quite interested about them now that is has been brought up. Should be quite the love filled story in my opinion.” I openly announced with a grin.

The reaction was almost immediate as the poor little girl once again went red all over her muzzle while Mystic Gem just looked at me with the “huh” face.

She eventually seemed to understand my intentions (to my surprise) as a smirk formed on her muzzle as well. A very devious looking smirk if I had to be honest. Seems that even she had a little troll bone inside of her. Though being a little bit more mischievous compared to mine.

“Well…” She began. “I can certainly tell you who some of them where but for some…”It was then when her sisters shoved her off her hooves in a fit of panic.
A move that was surprising to most but mildly entertaining to me.

She was still red around her cheeks when she began to babble, quite literally in fact.

“It was really, really a long time ago, ok? We were still young fawns back then and I was obviously still quite naïve and dreamy at the time when it came to stags and what not. Everything is quite different now and I don’t even remember who some of them were in name and person. Some of their families even left the tribe to go out and live on their own out in the open savannas when me and Mystic just reached adolescents. So again, it really has been a long time” She explained, somewhat rapidly in fact.

After that little outburst she quickly retreated back with a little whimper. Her cheeks still quite red.

Bakuss on the other end just groaned to himself while rubbing his guard covered face. What this actually accomplished I have no idea. All he is rubbing really is just his faceguard instead of the face that he is supposed to rub when feeling frustrated.

Alas in the end it pretty much served the same purpose as well before he glared at everyone around him.

“Could we PLEASE just return to the actual topic instead of just discussing things as to who used to love who when they were young, or what these carpets are even made of? We still have some actual planning to do before the engagement with the changeling queen forces becomes downright unavoidable” He stated, trying to be the word of reason.

I nod. “I agree, Susi, Mystic and Steppes, you should be ashamed of yourself for turning this rather serious situation into a joke of gossip and useless topics. We have possible another war at our hands here, and all you little girls can think of is all about yourself and you equally related girly needs. For shame I have to say, for shame.” I chided, sounding and looking very disappointed.

The three mentioned, or rather the two mentioned (because mystic couldn’t possibly give a damn) females in question where both utterly bewildered. Opening and closing their mouth like gold fishes while trying to say or protest to my accusation.

Alas, I cut them off with an air swipe before focusing my attention back at Bakuss and the now long entered Liu and her companion with the bags of juice sucking soul gem on him. The stallion in particular was suddenly interesting me the most as she just awkwardly stood there, avoiding everyone’s gazes.

I would bet that this guy is just some random, run in the mill poster boy who was just tasked by Liu’s superiors to carry the bags of offered gifts over here.

Only one way to be sure, and that is asking him or Liu about him and continue to circle jerk around the actual issue here. Why? Because it’s fun, annoyingly fun for others and very much reminiscent to my character.

Already starting to talk and think to myself in third person. The only thing that would be missing as of now would be for me to start speaking in old English while constantly using the royal “We” to describe myself.

Might actually consider doing that, should be fun.

But anyways, I looked over at the pair with open curiosity. Even going so far as to rubbing my chin with a finger and raising an eyebrow for extra effect.

“Say, before we go any further. Who exactly is this stallion anyway? A family member perhaps or maybe possible your poor and lonely fiancé who was forced to marry out of his will beause someone else on your or his family said so? Which is it?” I openly asked, which in turn got Liu’s and even the stallion’s immediate attention afterwards.

Primarily Liu of course because she is the mental focus of this trolling. “Wha-what? N-no he is neither a family member nor some fiancé. He is just a young poster colt who delivered these bags into the barracks before being redirected to me to so that I can escort him into the palace post haste. Can’t really carry these on my own after all, I am still just a mare despite being part of the guard.” Liu answered, which the stallion next to her confirm with a nod before going back in looking off to the side.

I just hummed. “Well ok then, anyway back on track then.” I announced which was just that.

Us returning to the actual reason of this meeting and not diverting from it. Well almost. Mystic once again had to of course open her big boastful mouth to once again received a sucker punch from her sister and a couple of glares and groaned in the end.

Such is the nature of Alexander's court, and frankly it can never be more chaotic in the future.

Maybe I should try introducing this court to my own personal version of both the “Golden Saints” and the “Seducers”.

My own little Shivering Isles outside the Shivering Isles. Something that I always wanted for myself ever since I played the Shivering Isle DLC for old dusty scrolls of the other term for void.

Should be also on my to do list, if I can remember adding it that is.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Are you sure it is wise for the zebra’s to basically know everything that is to know about our plan? What if after the queen is defeated and your ascension to the thorn, the king and his zebra guards would suddenly turn on us. Taking us as their slaves or outcast us away from the hive and claim the undercity, and the rest of the established underworlds for themselves? How can you trust a nation of surface dwellers who previously didn’t even know that our kind even existed?” The changeling Captain of the Rebel Force asked. Sounding quite concerned about the information he was given so far. Maybe feeling even somewhat nervous since this is practically the first time he has ever been to the surface.

For him the air around him felt al ot more warmer and…drier than he normally was used to down below. Not even mentioning the fact that the light levels up here were basically of the charts. Forcing his invisible irises to shrink further than they have ever shrunk before.

The fact that he, the princess and some of their own loyalist where occupying the interior of a very large and abandoned granary outside the city walls, shielding them from the outside elements and oddities of the outside world was really doing nothing in forcing him to feel totally out of place. Even though both certain section of the palace and the majestic zeniths of the city’s ziggurats were quite visible from the few cracks and holes on the upper walls and roof.

Either way, Palmyria just nods her head at the Captain’s concerns as they continued to observe the commotions bellow them from the catwalk.

Changelings from both the guards, drones and basic civilians were carrying supplies into the warehouse while some of them even engaged into some quick and basic training for the noncombatant as well. Showing them basic stances and the uses of spears while also tutoring them in some basic arts of combat magic as well.

Though obviously not enough to go against the still loyal and seasoned guards of her mother. Not to mention against the feared Obsidian guards themselves. Those changelings where on a completely different level when it comes to skill and sheer brutality in the face of combat.

Something that the princess personal feared and hoped that the Zebras could handle themselves with their better experience and expertise in the art of war. Something that the Princess has to hold heartedly rely up if they massive cue against her mother shall be meant with any degree of success.

Palmyria sighed. “Yes captain, do not worry. I have the utmost confident that our new established allies will honor our cries for help and stay true to their words. Plus…”She sighted once more.”…I already proposed towards their local ruler that I would gladly engage with him in order to secure a long lasting relationship between our peoples.” She admitted, which in turn caused the stallion next to him to looked at her in shock.

He was certainly not informed of that.

“But my princess. Is that…is that really the wises of choices. By engaging with a foreign leader, you would basically sacrifice one half on the hive towards him. Basically making it part of his realm and his will to do as he wish.” He stated. Sounding and looking even more concerned than he previously was.

Again, the princess just sighed. “Once more Captain I am very much aware of the implementations that such actions would entice. And just for the sake of calming you down somewhat…” She turned her gaze towards the captain next to him. ”…he hasn’t exactly accepted, or even openly acknowledge my offer. Which obviously means that the offer is still up for debate in term of its legitimacy. So again, don’t worry.” She answered before looking back down below.

“But his is somewhat right though. I should have really thought this more carefully before even starting to suggest these things towards a foreign leader. But then again, I was feeling quite desperate and fairly pressured at the time. Something that hasn’t really changed much, to be honest.” She thought to herself.

She knew that backing down now was pretty much impossible at this point. She has made her will clear, both in the eyes of her supporters and those that still follow the Queen. She will either succeed with her plans or die trying. Quite literally in fact judging in just how far away her mother has gone so far.
From her own experience nonetheless.

She just recently had tried to link herself up into the rarely used hive link that every changeling still shared, only for her to discover for herself that the stories about these illusive whispers dominating the link were actually true. She was never more disturbed and/or scared for her life when she was exposed to the unadulterated form of what the hive mind has now become.

A never-ending wave of distant chanting and the every threatening allure was present. The images, the chaos, the rage, the never-ending hunger for someone’s sanity and self-conscious. She was basically screaming out loud to herself at that point to fight the pull it was having inside her mind. Eventually become too strong to bare as she was threatening close to be pulled away. Cyrus was even forced to physically slap her out of it which in turn was the reason as to why her left cheek was somewhat swollen today.

All thanks to her curiosity.

She actually subconsciously started to rub the sore spot on her cheek, which in turn forced her to hiss in pain and flinch back. This of course garnered the Captain’s attention next to her.

He was about to ask when a sudden set of hooves told him otherwise. Forcing both him and the princess to turn their attention to its source.

To the Captain’s mild surprise, it was none other but the well-respected noble Cyrus himself who was also being accompanied by a certain changeling which in turn, made the Captain frown.

Palmyria on the other end just perked up. “Oh Sir Cyrus. I thought that you were busy down below, scouting out the catacombs and tunnels for any of these old abandoned passageways that you mentioned to us this morning.” She greeted, before cantering over to the arriving pair.

Cyrus quickly noted the still somewhat visible spot on the princess’s cheek where he basically punched her. Still feeling somewhat sorry for his action.

He simply pointed at her scar while giving the princess an apologetic smile. “Before I answer, I just want to say that I am again very, very sorry for hitting you so hard Princess. That nasty cut on your cheek is certainly going to be visible for quite a while, ruining you otherwise well-kept chitin. I should have thought of less…barbaric methods when trying to pull you out from your trance.” He commented while again looking at the sizable gash he had caused on her.

Palmyria on the other end just smiled. “Oh, don’t fret yourself too much about it Sir Cyrus. It was mostly obviously my own fault for daring the devil himself and willingly expose myself up to my mothers’ hive link despite the many warnings not to. I should have obviously known better than to just blindly jump into something that I have very little knowledge of, so the blame isn’t entirely on you.” She answered.

Cyrus just nodded. “Still, should have warned you before hoof before even allowing yourself to witness its current horrors yourself. The fact that a lot of changelings have to suffer through these themselves down at the hive, just puts the priority of this rebellion even more to the forefront than it had been before. A lot are now at the risk of losing their minds quite literally if we don’t act soon.” Cyrus commented, which Palmyria could only agree.

“Indeed, which is why I am hoping that the King and his zebra will be there to help us. As dreadful as this may sound, we are severely under armed and under skilled, not to mention outnumbered as well in terms to actual fighter and specialist on our side.” She comments before looking off to the side sadly.

“Well which is why I have been personally started to scout out the tunnels down below with the help of previous working infiltrators and spies…” Cyrus gave Farries a side look before continuing.” …from the Queen to help us determine the location of them. With these long forgotten and abandoned tunnels uncovered and cleared, we would be able to have a somewhat more tactical advantage against the Queen’s guards. Being able to come in and out of certain tunnels and locations of the hive without stirring up too much of a fuss. Basically, performing guerrilla tactics. Something that I personally used to do a lot with my team, when we were exploring and trying to claim the deeper levels of the vast underworld and the monsters it harbors. With mixed results of course as you should know.” Cyrus added.

Mentioning Farries, this caused the captain to finally speak up himself while giving the mentioned changeling and untrustworthy glare.

“Speaking of spies, are you sure that this just “previously” defected spy of the queen herself is not here just for that? How can anyone be sure that he is truly what he says to be. Out of the queen’s clutches for a chance fortrue love or whatever. As cliché as it sounds.” He stated, which in turn got him a glare in return from the aforementioned ex-spy himself, before turning into a rather challenging smirk instead.

“Well, sounds like somebody might be jealous? Believe me when I say that once you had a taste of what true, genuine love taste like, it will more or less blow your chitin mind, especially when compared to the feedings that you previously used to get. Either from the caretakers or from feeding on someone else.” Farries announced cheekily, much to the Captain’s annoyance.

The Captain just huffed. “Me, jealous? Ha perish the thought. At least I don’t possess a personal track record of me abandoning those I am expected to be loyal to. I have always stood true to the Princess since the very beginning, even when the actions of the Queen began to slowly become more questionable with each day, and since then, I have never faltered in my beliefs in her. “He stated, causing Palmyria to blush a bit at the comment before he continued.” Not like you who has more or less committed treason towards the entire hive for some “true love and affection”. Never knew that the once famed Farries of the Queen’s personal spy and infiltration brigade could fall so low just for the promise of one of these surface dwellers. Says alot about your previous “dead silent and serious” reputation now does it?” The captain mocked back, holding a smirk himself while Farries glared.

He was about to say more when a certain Noble quickly stopped by stepping in. The glare he was giving both sides quickly forced them to shut up immediately.

“By the love of our foremothers. You two suddenly act like a herd of pre-fresh nymph’s who have just gone past their first moment of adolescents. This is a time of serious endeavors and you two start your first meeting with one another by arguing on Love and loyalty? Two very important topics for sure, but topics that help us with anything in terms of helping us to survive the next day.” Cyrus argued, causing both parties to flinch at his volume.

He eventually signed. “With that said, I would like to expect nothing more then to act upon your illegit expertise that the two of you are famous for. Which is something that I expect, and also even rely upon if our cue against the queen is going to be meant with success. So, if you could just pull yourself together, that would be highly appreciative.” Cyrus added, giving the now shunted changelings one last glare each before finally calming down.

Palymria on the other end just kept quiet, watching the display unfold with little else to add or to say. Besides the obvious.
“Uhm…anyway Cyrus, about your excavation down in the tunnels?” She openly asked, bringing the conversation back in track and to the point of interest.

Cyrus nods. “Of course, well for starters…Cyrus began before a sudden set of, and very loud sounding knocks erupted all throughout the interior of the warehouse. Knocks coming directly from the front doors themselves if their senses could be trusted.

The collection of lings perked up at that, and so where a couple of changelings down below as well, at least not those who were busy practicing or carrying crates around.

Though a group of seasoned changeling guards immediately sprung into attention at that, buzzing their way over to the large double doors with their weapons and horns firmly trained at the doors.

“Huh, funny. I wasn’t really planning any visitors to suddenly come by, if at all, given the fact that this warehouse is fully abandoned and far outside the city limits for any of the locals to care.” Cyrus commented while curiously rubbing his chin.

The knocking though persisted, even going harder and rougher as time passes.

“Hey, I know for a fact that you bug equines are all in here. I can remember your scents from anywhere, even as far away as from the city gates.” Someone shouted. The voice and tone of this individuals immediately summoning up memories of who this person could possibly be?

“Is that, Mystic Gem? One of the two Gazelle sisters that currently live in the Palace?” Palmyria question, more to herself then really anyone else around her.

Cyrus on the other hand just raised a curious eyebrow as the knocking continue. Looking down at the catwalk they were standing and pointing at the closest ling below him.

“You there, please open the doors. Let’s see what our unsuspected visitor wants.” He requested. Receiving nod from said changeling before acting on his given task. Buzzing over to the door and removing the large blanks of wood keeping it closed, with the added help of another changeling nearby.

Once opened, the previous prediction of their princess was quickly confirmed as the ever-frowning visage of a well know (or rather infamous to some) doe made herself know. Strangely alone, with neither of her other half or any of the Zebras accompanying her this far out of the city limits.

This caused both Cyrus and Palmyria to raise their brows as the does entered. Keeping a close eye on every changeling around her and even shining both her gem and horns a bit to show that she is not afraid to use them.
Which was already made clear on their first encounter.

“Better go down there before she starts slamming changelings into one another like she did last time. Don’t need another scene after all.” Cyrus commented, before buzzing off the catwalk and down onto ground level to address this unexpected visitor.

So did Palmyria, and the two changelings behind. Once there, they were meant with the ever-present frown and un-intimidated look of Mystic Gem. An incredibly feisty young doe that doesn’t seem to fear or worry about anything outside her own kind and her tribe.

Which could be both good and bad given the situation, but then again, she seemed to have some incredible luck on her side as well. Especially considering the King’s overreaching tolerance.

She just kept her unimpressive look as the group of four approached her.

Cyrus spoke. “Well this is certainly a surprise. Miss Mystics Gem was it…?” He questioned, which she confirmed with a simple nod.

Cyrus was about to continue when the Gazelle swiftly stopped him by speaking first. Somewhat rudely in fact.

“I have heard that you guys were planning to search for some secret tunnels down there that could even lead into the main Hive itself and presumingly even further. Is that correct?” She immediately asked, getting straight to the point and causing some brows to be raised because of that.

But more for the reason that she somehow knew of their task rather then the bluntness of her question.

The captain looked VERY suspiciously at her. “How in the forefathers names do you know of that?” She naturally questioned, even going so far as to subtly reaching for his obsidian blade next to his belt. A move which was thankfully not noticed by the Gazelle, otherwise she would have made good use of her magic once more, though this time more lethally most likely.

Either way, Mystic simply stayed casual as she replied. “Simple, I overheard some of your…changelings was it? Yes, changeling talking about something like that. So I just came here afterwards to confirm if their words where true or not. And judging from your reaction, it seems they are.” She replied, holding a somewhat noticeable smug tone as she said that.

This caused the captain to groan. “By the Ether, can’t even trust simple civilian changelings these day to keep more to themselves.” He muttered before Cyrus stepped up.

He gave the doe a somewhat reluctant nod. “Well, yes, yes we are.” He confirmed, even though it wasn’t really necessary anymore at this point.

Mystic also nods to that before finally getting to the point as to why she tracks them all the way here in the first place. She took on a more neutral look as she began.

“Let’s just get straight to the point then. Whenever you guys finally find these elusive tunnels down below and start whatever operation you are planning to use them for, I want to join in. Go down there with you all and find the idol of our ancestors. Oh and by the way, I am NOT taking a no for an answer.” She laid out, stomping her hoof onto the sandstone covered floor to emphasize her point.

This of course caused pretty much everyone to stop and stare at her, with the exception of the princess.

The first to recover was the captain himself as he scoffed at Mystic’s request. “What?! Are you even aware what you just requested ?” He called out, sounding not particular amused at the Gazelle’s request.

Mystic just nods, matching his glare with her own. “Of course. I know exactly what I am getting myself into, and frankly I don’t care either.” She again boldly stated.

But before anyone could reply or retort to her response, she continued. “I don’t care, how insane my idea is or how much you changelings think that I might end up as a liability or whatever. This is far more than just a personal fetch quest for me, not just for selfish reasons as some of you might think but for more…family related issues that I won’t spew out because…you are all just strangers to me who don’t even understand the norms and costumes of our peoples. And beside…” She pointed up at her gem and horn.” …this opportunity will also finally solve one of the biggest weaknesses that our kind has been cursed with ever since the gift of our god has been taken away from us many generations ago. The lack of magic and the ability to effectively survive and maintain a world that our ancestors used to be thrive in many generations ago. A forgotten civilization of magic and mysticism, and the ability to keep our lands safe from the ever hunger presence from the far south, by keeping its expanding clutches at bay with our long lost abilities. A fight which our ancestors obviously lost thanks to the slowly descending absence of our natural adept abilities. Snatched away by the zebra’s…or so we thought.” She looked at the changelings in front of her with great suspicion.” Or, it could have still been taken away by the ancient zebra’s, only to be repossessed by your kind at some point. Who knows, and honestly, I don’t care either as the hour of finally retrieving a piece that once made us what we used to be is finally drawing near. I MUST retrieve the Idol and finally end the one thousand year exodus from our original homelands. This piece of chance has vastly more to do with US then it has to do with me and my sister. This is our ancient history, and a chance to finally retrieve it, and relive it.” She finalized, allowing herself a small break after her long rant with a loud sigh.

“Also, you still might actually want ME to be present with your team once one of your changeling actually comes in contact with the physical depiction of Shahr-Mukahn. For you own mental sake that is.” She added, which in turn caused Cyrus to look at her with a raised brow.

“What? What do you mean by that?” He naturally questioned.

“Simple…”She began before trotting about. Moving to the right side of the group and away from the more seasoned looking changeling guards that stood behind her this entire time defensively.

The group obviously followed her with their eyes. The captain in particular keeping a still untrustworthy look at her.

She continued after she stopped. “Well for starters, to keep the spirits that are meant to represent Shahr-Mukahn gift from aiming their ire towards you as well, feeding off the memories and personalities of those not worthy of their magic, or so the story goes at least.” She added, looking rather thoughtful at the end while rubbing her chin.

This only made Cyrus more curious, though this time it was Palmyria who spoke up after she stepped closer. “Spirits? Wait…is that what I may have heard when I tried looking into the hive link myself? The allure and whispers of spirits?” She asked, which in turn Mystic just shrugged.

“Not sure about the hive link part but still could be possible. The anger of those inside for having been mistreated and misused for who knows how long.” Mystic answered before getting back on track. Evident on her usual frown and seriousness that she sports.

“Anyway, as I said, you might be better off if you have me with you when you get down there. You changelings obviously possess a more adept sense of mentality then most other races. Which could make you easy targets to reach for the ancient spirits. I could possibly calm down when they do however for just being there. The idol would surely recognize the presence of those it was meant to bestow blessing upon. Possibly attempting to call out to me and in hopes of me finding it, thanks to my inborn magical ability that is normally only associated with those the idol gives. Being and Charbakat and what not.” She again stated, more added information that the Changelings are mostly unaware of for obvious reason.

But one thing was sure. “If you truly think that these dangers and reasons are justifying the need for you to take part in the upcoming infiltration then I guess I have no issues in letting you join up after all.” He decided, allowing himself a certain level suspension of disbelief.

Again, he wasn’t really sure if the doe was telling the absolute truth or not. But given that this was THEIR idol and that some of her points had some striking similarities to the stories that he heard so far, especially regarding the whole
“alluring whispers” part associated with the hive link issue, it’s not too hard to make some connections. At least it also now explains the ever increasing hostilities of the queen, if her mind and personality are being sucked dry by whatever the idol harbored. Allowing its magic to be used for the queen’s endeavors, while unknowingly feeding of her mind.

Nothing is for free after all, and sometimes the price easily outweighs the rewards which seemed to be the case here. But how the Gazelles seem to be getting around that is still somewhat a mystery towards Cyrus.
But then again, it was personally given to them to whatever deity they aligned themselves with. So they could easily be the exception to the rule.

Either way, Mystic just nods and triumphantly smirks at the victory she managed to achieve before just cantering off. Probably to just have a closer look around the happening of the warehouse and to await Cyrus call out for either another expedition down below, or for the infiltration to finally begin.

The captain tapped on his shoulder to get his attention.

“By all do respect sir Cyrus, but I still personally think that she won’t have staying power down there, given her most likely poor eyesight in the dark and added weaker mental signature for us changeling to keep tabs on.” He criticized, keeping her tone low just for Cyrus’s ears.

Cyrus just gave him a smile. “Possible, but you can deny that her kind must have some pretty sensitive noses if she was able to track us down all the way out here with nothing but out natural scent. I am sure she will do fine down there even without any artificial lights guiding her.” She stated before turning around and trotting off as well. Leaving the princess, Farries and the captain to their own devices.

“Well, I guess nothing better to do then simply prepare. “The captain muttered before heading off too. Followed by the princess and the infiltrator as well. Because why not, these two also have nothing better to do before the next event.

All the necessary preparations were being conducted at this point. To finally end the madness and bring things back to normal. Oh…and to give a certain king more room to expand as well.

In power and territory, not talking about the side effects of consuming to many dearie products.

Chapter 26: Time to bust out the raid for real

Chapter 26: Time to bust out the Raid for real

Edited by Mr Salespony

“Well alright, you all know what is to be expected either today or tomorrow. We will be engaging yet another foe very soon, a very unfamiliar foe on even more unfamiliar grounds. Some of you might see it as a lost cause, suicide, or a fool’s errand, but I like to personally see it more as an opportunity to test ourselves, and to see if we are truly worthy of the titles that our ancestors used to have. Being a steadfast race, being a headstrong people, bred for war, a knack for riches, and destined to rule empires. So fret not, keep your training in mind and experiences to hearth. For this is just another test for us to face, a challenge for us to pass before truly trudging towards the road of glory and everlasting fame and respect. We are the offsprings of a might culture, so let us go out there and proof it. Both to ourselves and the enemies we shall face. For Zebrica and it’s future.” Bakuss screamed like the good little propaganda machine that he is while also sounding damn good in doing so.

If he keeps this up, I might actually consider hiring him to do just that. Spreading and shouting never ending waves of “in your face” with Joseph Goebbels’ style of propaganda for any future plans and war efforts. Pinning a prime enemy for the people to hate collectively does go a long way for any potential youths who will inevitably decide to in joining the military. Though then again, I probably don’t need to resort to such an extreme strategy of propaganda anyway, as simple words and wave of my hand are enough for these Zebra’s as a whole to start picking up pitchforks and crudely made shanks to march right towards whatever enemy I have pointed them at.

That and the also ever present dedication and tenacity they expel in regards to their lost legacy. Who knew that convincing a nation to build an empire is so damn easy? If it were so easy back in my world I could have easily succeeded in rallying up a bunch of school kids and hot tittied cheerleaders to start following me with crudely made paintball shooters and snatched chainsaws as weapons, to march against the common evil that is the government, and to only replace it with another. BUT, with the added benefits of providing free cheese and free coffee for anyone under the age of 21. So it really can’t be that.

Either way, besides that little mental derailing of usual never-ending nonsense that I am known for, the entire barracks ground immediately erupted into undeniable approval and war cries from every guard around us. Primarily being the same barracks right next to the Palace where I personally introduced them with the concept of the Sarissa and the Phalanx that goes with it a couple of…I don’t know, weeks back or something.

I am very terrible with the passage of time, so don’t judge me.

I on the other hand, just casually sat on my parasol provided seat and table, fanning myself off with Penelope on my lap and Susi herself standing to my side with little care in the world. Who which, was holding a rather prideful smile on her face as the unavoidable display or dedication and fearlessness that the gathered guards rubbed off of her. All thanks to a little speech from a certain Joseph Goebbels in Zebra form. Who is also very damn good in fighting. So basically an even better version of Joseph Goebbels.

I let the cries for war play out uninterrupted in the background as I was personally more focused on the idea of who to essentially demonize in the case of a propaganda needed for an emergency.

“Well the Minotaur seemed to be the best prime target so far. Being the first aggressors of my reign while also being the most hostile and arrogant towards the Zebras. Hmm, arrogant, look who’s talking.” I mused to myself while scratching my chin for no good reason.

There are seriously a lot of things that I simply do just for added effect. I always dreamed of becoming an actor oneday, which is sorta, kinda fulfilled in the end, as I have basically taken up the biggest and most important role an actor could possible receive.

The role of a nation’s leader. Yes, I am considering all of the world leaders and politicians as actors. Because it’s kinda true and everybody knows it. Well, almost everybody.

Looking at the tinfoil wearing wankers and newborns.

Either way, the shouting eventually stopped, which in turn caused a certain someone to suddenly tap me on the shoulder afterwards. I turned my head to look at the offender and found none other then Liu and a random dude who I was told was the local blacksmith of this barracks waiting behind me.

“Was diese baracke alles nicht hat. Es ist schon erstaunlich” I thought to myself before giving the pair a welcome smile.

Liu on the other hand, just stayed professional as she always does despite my constant teasing. Which I can respect, most people would have long given up or just stopped giving a damn at some point.

But she will break, like all of them. How do I know? Well, because my own tenacity knows no bound. Or at least, that’s what my physiatrist once told me.

She just nods before gesturing over to mister hammer and anvil himself, and frankly, he does kinda look the part in how wide the dude is, and that is not even including the obvious sweaty nature that his fur displayed on the open sun.

Quite sticky and disgusting. Wait, can horses actually sweat? Would be quite the annoying body function to have thanks to all that damned fur. The good thing about MAN is that we just have skin, so it doesn’t end up to be that sticky, but still smells just the same.

Either way, with the very important subject of bodily leakage out of the way, I just focused back at mister T in front of me, giving him a hand gesture that he can speak.

He responded with a quick bow before opening his snout. “The nethicite stone are all flawlessly integrated into the guards shield as requested. I even did a couple of test hits against them to make sure that they are all as robust as can be inside their housing. The shields are now ready for use and distribution your highness.” He reported, giving me another courtesy bow after he finished.

Don’t even want to imagine how drenched his rear must be. Those poor guards behind him.

Siming, I gave him a thumbs up. “Great, that should certainly increase the survivability of those poor chops down there…don’t tell them that though.” I leaned in and whispered at the end, which in turn just caused him to raise a brow in confusion.

Not so much for Susi though, as she did what she always do. Open her mouth like pretty much everybody here.

“You know your highness, the guard’s moral alongside their performance could increase if you would stop criticizing them so much on a daily basis. You would be surprised with the results.” She criticized. The irony of her suggestion is as thick as a Wiener bockwurst from Frankfurt.

Now I am hungry again, but anyway, back on topic.

I gave Susi a strange look. “I was? What are you talking about? I wasn’t criticizing them. I was simply pointing out the flaws just like all good critics do.“ I sat up straight and pointed a finger up to the air. “Where will this society be without someone pointing out the flaws and dumbass ideas that someone makes? Criticism is part of our development. Without it, we could all die dumb without having made any improvements at all, it’s criticisms like these that help us to evolve and improve on our standards. Why being such a well educated individual yourself, you should know this type of logic and thinking. Once more…you disappointed me there susi.” I explained, trying to look and sound as disappointed as possible.

This time though, it didn’t work. She simply rolled her eyes before shaking her head. “Well, I do know that your highness, but I was just suggesting that a little spirit towards your guards would go along way for them. You are the king after all. Bakuss might be their captain, but you…” She pointed a hoof at me. ”…are the very figure of hope and believe that these Zebras hold onto. You are the very future of this nation, and any generation that will proceed them.” She added.

This caused my mask to break for the first time. “Well shit, seems like Susi is actually starting to take her job more seriously. Or at least, trying to.” I thought to myself.

“You know what Susi? I think you are right.” I openly announced which made her smile. Good for her, because I just grinned. “Which is why I shall give Bakuss these personally, so that he can handle the distributing of these new toys by himself. I think it was like…a hundred and fifty shields or something?” I trailed off before looking over at the smithy for any conformations.

I noticed Susi lost her smile. but I of course, just ignored it for the moment.

The stud just nodded, which in turn, made me look back at the mare next to me. ”… Oh and of course, to openly show myself to the guards for their spirits and shit. I will still take the giant Parasol with me though. Can’t have my white, Caucasian skin be exposed to the ever glaring sun, now can I?” I added.

She simply responded with a face hoof, while the stud behind me just scratched his head in mild confusion. Liu on the other hand, has been quiet this entire time, staring at Bakuss the whole time with a certain level of trance to her.

I woke her up by throwing a tiny piece of cheese that Penelo couldn’t finish at her. Because I was certainly not going to eat that anymore. I find eating something that has already been eaten disgusting, even when it involves cheese…sadly.

She blinked after the cheese related assault glanced off of her armored muzzle.

“Liu, could you please go and inform Bakuss down there of the new toys he just received? He was quite impatient about them when the news of enemy activities underground were brought to him this morning.” I casually requested.

This again, forced Susi to butt in. “But you just stated that you were going to do that yourself and not her.” She pointed out.

I just sighted. “Fine, just let me get off from this chair so I can go down there and do it myself. But I am taking both the fan and Parasol with me, so don’t start complaining about me making myself look ridiculous. It also obviously means that you will be taking Penelope off of me for a while.” I stated.

She just nods. I quickly got up afterwards, placing Penelope from my lap and onto Susi’s back and grabbing both my swatter and sun shield before making my way down the platform.

Liu and smithy of course followed. Once there, I quickly tapped Bakuss on his back with my fan to get his attention. Which it did.

He turned around to look up at me expectantly, only somewhat raising a brown as he noted the huge ass Parasol I was carrying above my shoulder. You know, the ones that you see in front of bier gardens or even on outdoor café’s and restaurants.

But hey, comfortability has no price in my eyes, especially when it means keeping the bloody sun away from my skin. I might have originated from a tropical region before getting here, but even there it doesn’t compare to the blade piercing heat of the dry desert sun. There is a reason as to why these areas are so void of any vegetation or water in the first place, and I am not talking about, climate changes, the differentiation of air humidity, or geological reasons. Because that would just be silly. I am trying to keep this explanation on the layman’s side of things. Not trying to write a damned essay for college. Been there, done that.

Either way, after another awkward look and tap from Bakuss, I was once again just standing there like a tree and creepily staring off into nothing. I cleared my throat to get to the point.

“Anyway, I just personally came down here because I made a promise to Susi up there, that I would do that.” I stated, much to the added confusion of Bakuss.

But I quickly added. “And to also tell you that the nethicite incrusted shields are all finally finished and ready for use. Ready to be distributed to those who are ready for the job, or rather, ready in your eyes to be honest. The point is, it’s done. We are finally ready to go down there with the Rebels and to personally take the fight to the enemy ourselves. Or so I was told. ”I added while scratching my chin.

This immediately caused Bakuss to perk up. “Perfect, and not a moment too soon as well. The faster we can land a hoof, the better. According to Cyrus, it won’t be long until the changelings be loyal, or rather, affected by the queen’s control, we will get wind of the operations that he and the lings were conducting. Timing is of the essence as far as I am personally concerned.” Bakuss stated before switching his gaze over at the stud behind me with great expectations.

“Where are the badges of nethicite infused shields stored?” He asked the stud.

“Already sent them off to the local armory up here. All cleaned up and polished, and ready for use, Sir Bakuss.” He answered with a nod.

Bakuss nodded too. “Excellent, you shall be perfectly compensated for your services then. In fact…” He looked over at Lui. “Sergeant Liu, I think that that this is your field of dutie and expertise? Would you kindly take some of your time to offer this stallion the payment that he was promise? I will take care of the rest.” He added.

Liu nods. ”Of course, I shall personally make sure that he gets fairly paid for his work.” She responded before looking over at the stallion. ”If you would follow me please?” She requested, which he nods before moving out of the scene with her.

Leaving pretty much Bakuss and I standing alone in front of the eager looking guardsman, or guard-studs with a decent number of mares sprinkled in between.

I looked over at him after a few moments have passed, fanning myself with my fan as the heat forced me too. “So, it’s once again time isn’t it?” I asked him nonchalantly.

He just nods. “Yes, your highness. Once more, another problem to deal with force. But then again, this is just how it is and the world we are living in. It’s always either you or him in the end. The rules of the sand, as they like to say.” He sighed, a little tip bit of real life philosophy that I can quite easily get behind by.

The world can truly be one ugly looking son of a bitch when it really wants to. Which is why I have personally been staring it down all throughout my life, and giving it my own sets of mental and physical middle finger the same way it does to me. An eye for an eye mentality, which strangely does kinda work when you just ignore its own antics with your own.

Why bother, when you can join the fray.

Either way, I just hummed to his answer while keeping my fan doing its job. If this keeps up, I might eventually start getting some muscle build up around my right arm, which certainly would be useful for a lot of ‘other things’ in the future. As I said, comfortability has no price for me. Even when I am required to start fapping with a fan as if they was no tomorrow. Today was especially hot for whatever reason.

Or I could easily just find myself some mares to do it for me, and save the bodybuilding act on my right stinger. I know for a fact that they will most likely send me a bunch of mares to do this job instead of studs. Because I am a dude, so I must like having females around me at all times to stroke my dick and ego, which would be true, if the’re wasn’t the very obvious problem that these females were actually not the females that I wanted, they are mares and not women. My morals were once again, putting a huge wall over they otherwise good intended offers.

With that little thought process out of the way, I just nod. Somewhat late but better late than never, I guess. Also, the giant ass Parasol I had over my shoulders was starting to become somewhat heavy as well. Reminiscent to my lack of obvious exercise.

I looked over at the still collected collection of guards standing at the ready in front of me. Noting some of their faces and equipments, knowing that it might be quite possible for these faces to never be seen again for obvious reasons.

This is once again, the obvious consequence of war, something that can’t really be avoided, only minimized as much as possible.

“Well, better get over to this elusive armory of yours…where ever that is, and get the distribution done and finished. As you said, time is money here.” I announced in which Bakuss nodded.

He then led the way, but before I could even get a foot moving from my spot, a sudden random encounter appeared. An encounter that took the immediate shape of a certain doe as she suddenly came galloping down the stairs that I just came from.

Huffing and panting as she skidded to a stop. She was followed by a bunch of guards, probably thinking that she was here to cause some kind of trouble one way or another before I quickly fanned them off to avoid any more issues. Quite literally in fact, I waved my fan at them. Stopping them and allowing Little steppes over here to explain herself for the interruption.

Well, the guards think it’s an interruption, but I am just happy to always have something else to distract me. No internet, remember?

She huffed and puffed for a few more moments before starting. “Have…have you seen my sister anywhere your highness? I…I haven’t really seen her since yesterday. She hasn’t even came back to the room after she said she was just taking a little stroll down into town. I know for a fact that she can handle herself quite well in a serious situation…but still, I worry for her regardless because…well, she is my sister.” She explained, taking a couple more air breaks in between.

I just shook my head at her question. “Nope, haven’t seen, or rather, seen her never ending frown all this morning. If she really was just taking a stroll through the city below, I can only imagine three things that could have happened.” I emphasized that by rising three fingers.

“ONE, she got lost and somehow still hasn’t managed to swallow up her pride to go ask someone for directions. Even though the Palace itself is quite impossible to miss, simply because it is literally visible from every angle of the city thanks to its location. But hey, no one is perfect after all.”

“TWO, she might have actually went out to get herself smashed in one of those pubs down there to drown her Idol related woes or has either ended up in some alley with the worst…or best hangover moment given the aftermath she went through when getting smashed in the first place. You might bring more than just the two of you back home if that is the case.“ I added that last one with a crazed grin before dropping the second finger, leaving the third and last finger.

”THREE, she actually went over to the changelings and somehow managed to convince them to take her along with their crazy plans while also getting a chance of retrieving the Idol herself. Something that she has been constantly quacking about, ever since the previous meeting. She just couldn’t shut up about it. We all heard it, even from the bloody kitchen and the dining hall.” I finalized, dropping the least finger before letting my whole arm flop down against my side.

This long response caused the doe in front of me to change into many expressions during my explanation. The first was, confusion, followed by surprise, then shock from the hangover part, before finally settling down to confusion, and eventually morphing to a look of realization in the end.

Horrible, horrible realization.

The last one was actually kind of funny to be honest. Mostly because it was just a guess of mine which actually in turned out to be true in the end.

I always knew that I was a “Seher”. Genau wie bei Asterix und Obelix.

“Yeah…the last one actually sounds like something my sister would do.” She responded with wide, but still casually looking eyes before quickly starting to panic instead.

Sweet, sweet panic, and much to my amusement too as she started to circle me in a frantic fit. Much to the guard’s nervous, watchful eyes.

Again, that is what I am paying them for to begin with. And yes, I am paying thanks to Susi’s and Liu’s insight with the matter.

“Oh dear ancestors above, she did it, she actually did it. She finally allowed her stubborn pride to get the best of her, and now she might actually be sticking her hoof into something that she has obviously no knowledge off. She is going to go down there, with a bunch of changelings. Somewhat good, but mostly very bad, in an environment that basically favors these changeling’s natural affinity to the underground damp and darkness on every turn. It would be like sending a fire golem to take on a fight with a bunch of sirens, underwater no less. What in our forefathers’ names was she thinking? How in Steppe’s names, am I going to explain this to our mother when the worst becomes THE worst? Why did I even allow her to leave the room in the first place?” She ranted, circling my standing, fanning, and parasol carrying form a few times as she did so.

Did I ever mentioned that the fan was costume made? Well it is, and it even sported the very same color patterns and logo that my mug has. They even managed to get the slogan underneath the logo right.

Quite impressive when you consider the fact that these Zebras have their own alphabetical system. But I am just getting distracted again as I always do.

“Back to reality Alex, back to reality despite how “stressful” it can be.”

I quickly stopped the fawning doe by grabbing her horn and forcing her to somewhat bend over. She yelped, a very curious looking blush adorning her face afterwards.

This of course, caused me to raise a curious eyebrow as she just stood there. Her horn in my hands and all.

Bakuss too seemed to be somewhat curious, though, also clearly impatient.

I quickly noted his impatient nature, before quickly letting go of the now flustered girl. Why is she now flustered? I have no idea. But I do have the feeling that I will eventually find out about it sooner than later. Until then, we very much have much more important things to worry about. Like getting the party geared up and shit while I comfortably wait on the throne room for the inevitable news of our victory.

Why victory? Because failure is not an option.

Bakuss again, took the lead as I followed. Leaving the still entranced Steppes standing on her spot with a bunch of lined up guard Zebras still copying the ever-vigilant looking soldiers of the old soviet union.

Why them? because picking the queen’s royal guard in England would have been to obvious of a pick.

“Say Bakuss, what about your dudes and gals still standing ‘STRAMM’? Certainly would be a lot more comfortable for them to stand in the shadows instead of an open field where their tincan outfit is most likely boiling them alive. Those poor, poor soldiers.” I questioned, as I followed double S over here towards a building that I have seen, but never entered before personally.

Just like every other building here in the barrack grounds really.

He kept his gaze fixed forward as he replied. “We Zebra’s are a bit more heat tolerant than you might think, your highness. What might be hot for you, could just be simply warm for us. We are generally a desert folk after all.” He answered.

I just scratched my chin in understanding of this new information. Fanning my fan into oblivion. As I did so, the topic of heat just reminded me just how dry and warm today’s day really is.

“Either it’s slowly getting close to summer, or they might be suffering from their own version of global warming. Who knows? Or maybe just a simple dry front?” With these thought out of the way, I didn’t realize that Bakuss and I finally ended up at the place he was leading me.

A large, rectangular block of a building with just a simple level of carving and paint colors adorning it’s outside walls. Quite bland looking, especially in comparison to everything else around the barracks. Even more so with the Palace nearby and all of its architectural luxury and glory.

Either way, Bakuss just casually opened the front gate with a key that I didn’t knew he had on his form. Stepping in first before ushering me to follow. If I didn’t knew him as being one of my closest guards, I might have took this gesture as a big no factor given in just how dark the interior seemed from outside.

That, and the obviously dirty fantasies that were going through my head at the sight of this situation. But then again, he is my guard captain and this is just the armory after all. Well at least that what he says, still need to step in myself and see it with my own eyes.

And step in I did, didn’t took that long for my eyes to adjust to the more depressing looking light levels in here before allowing myself a first good look on everything that was in display here, and really, there was a lot.

This place was every murderer and weapon fanatic’ dreams.

The large storage space had everything. From the previously introduced Sarissas and shield combo from yours truly, to you more basic looking spear and sword the simple city guard down below like to carry around. There were even a large set of Palace and city guard armor pieces all neatly stacked on shelves. There were even a couple of bows and quivers here and there with fully loaded arrows.

Why I haven’t personally seen any of the equipments themselves? I don’t know. But then again, I just kinda get the vibe that every tribe in these lands pretty much have their own specializations when it comes to fighting styles and preferred weapons. Like the sand hunters being superb archers for example. With that knowledge I would guess that the Zebras of Achaemidia have a natural affinity with preferred melee weapons instead of ranged once, and acting as simple foot, or rather, hoof soldiers as well.

The basic grunts of any strategy game I have ever played.

Pretty much turning this whole situation into a video game itself. Something I have stated before. But still within my field of expertise, which is good.

I like Video games.

Either way, Bakuss himself began looking around while I was busy once again, wasting everyone’s time in a mental level. Probably trying to find exactly where the smith has sent all of his magic resistant shields to. It was at that moment, when another guard suddenly came galloping in, giving me a quick short bow before beelining towards the captain afterwards.

He saluted. “Sir, I have been personally instructed by Sir Sephon the smith to inform you of the shields location and lead you to them. Something he forgot to add to you which is why he requested me to message that instead.” He announced.

Bakuss nods, before allowing the guard to lower his hoof. “Well, fair enough. Where are they then? Because I sure as hell can’t see them here.” Bakuss responded, sounding somewhat irritated and impatient at the same time.

The guard just nods before trotting off towards a far corner of the large storage space. He ushered for us to follow. We did, before he eventually stopped in front of a curious looking rag filled with rather old looking swords and wooden shields.

I turned back towards us with a bit of hesitation. “Normally, someone like me shouldn’t be allowed to know this, but I pretty much swore life oath to keep this a secret from both Sephon and High priest Akadar’s requests. But…” He place his hood behind one of the wooden shield and began to feel for something. ”…there is actually another hidden storage compartment within these walls which used to house some of the magically enchanted weapons and gear that our ancestors made heavy use off during the glory days. It’s empty right now, but still very much intact, and the place where the smith hauled over the finished shields under High priest Akadar’s orders just to make use of it once more.” He pulled on something which produced and audible click. Some hidden gears could be heard spinning and grinding from behind the wall before the entire thing started to buckle, kicking off dust, sand and debris as it did so.

The guard stepped back, looking up at his handy work before the entire rag suddenly moved away alongside with the wall behind it. Causing me to raise a curious eyebrow and fan away some of the kicked-up dust and dirt that where send my way thanks to this procedure.

“Quite the paranoia driven ancestors you have there. Having build secret doors leading to even more secret vaults, or leading to some underground tunnels and sewers systems that were used more than just transporting shit from A to B. I have to say, I quite like your ancestor’s mentally. Truly keeps away all of the nasty people from playing around with all with the illegal toys and dildos that your old folks like to use.” I commented, smiling a bit to myself at what Mystic managed to find down in the vaults.

Bakuss ignored my comments, as his eyes were primarily fixed at the newly exposed passageway in front of him.

“Huh, even I wasn’t aware of this. I have came in and came out of this armory many times over my years, and not even once noticed anything odd or out of the ordinary within all this clutter. I was at least aware of the treasure vaults under the Palace, but not this.” He stated.

The newcomer nods to his comment. “Well, with all due respect sir, there wasn’t really much need for this to be known by anyone, simply because It hasn’t been in use for many decades. The very purpose of THIS vault used to have been lost the moment when more and more of the ancient weapon and artifacts that were stored down there had either been lost or stolen during the passing of generations. It’s location only having been preserved in carefully kept records and scrolls from way back. Which is why High priest Akadar knew about them in the first place. Being one of the keeper of the ancient past.” The guard explained.

Bakuss simply hummed to this information before finally being the first to boldly go where no one has gone before in decades. At least stated by this unnamed stud over here.

I looked over at him and nodded, before pulling out a small notepad and pencil and jutting him down as “unknown guard number 1324” for reference. Much to the stallion’s intrigue.

“Uhm…your highness?” Bakuss called out from inside the open passageway.

I looked up from my pad before quickly stashing it back in my pocket, wasting no time in following him. Another surge of the Indiana jones theme song played inside my head as I entered the curiously looking passageway that was perfectly sized for someone my size.

Again, solidifying the constantly brought up topic that my predecessors were all pretty much humans, just like me. Or maybe I am just pulling random assumptions out of my ass just to find something.

I tend to do that for no real reason.

Once inside, Bakuss quickly lit up a torch with a piece of flint that he must have be carrying inside his armor, before doing the same with another torch. He grabbed the first one, offering the other torch to me which I quickly decline. Showing him the Parasol that I was still holding on to with one hand while fapping the fan with the other.

In fact, I should obviously close this thing to prevent myself any future complications related to it. The passage way might be tall enough for me to go through, but sadly, was just as wide as it’s height. The bloody thing could barely fit inside, and that’s not even accounting for the two torch rags mounted on either side of the walls.

So I did just that, with Bakuss just placing the torch back where it belonged and leading the way. You would think that they would actually try and keep the light on after the first adventurers made it down here. But no, even though it was stated that it would be in use once more. So why not keep it illuminated to prevent any unnecessary issues and flint related problems? Just like how they did it back down in the treasure vaults.

Consistencies is the word here, something that seems to be lacking with some of these Zebras. But hey, that’s what I am here for, to try and fix it. A thousand years of just sitting on your ass and doing absolutely nothing at that time while being busy pointing the blame on each other, can do that on a nation. Or in this case, a whole race.

Either way, we eventually ended up at another steel door that pretty much mimics all the others I have seen so far. Only a lot smaller and a lot less bombastic compared to the others.

The guard from before quickly joined us, before casually handing Bakuss a large silver key tied to an equally silver looking necklace around his neck. Bakuss took it and nods before looking around the door for a spot to place the key in, finding it rather swiftly. He placed the key into the keyhole and turned it. Causing another chain reaction of hidden mechanism to sprung to life with the door shaking a bit. Soon, the door unlocked and creaked open, though not as much as expected, which pretty much forced both Bakuss and the random guard to do the rest instead.

I just watched them, carrying to most important burden of them all. The responsibility. That, and I already had my hands full anyway.

It didn’t took long for these two to finish the deed, despite how thick and heavy the metal door looked.

Once opened the pair huffed and wheezed a bit on the side after their duty was done. I on the other hand, took this opportunity to be the first to step into the unknown and see what this new hidden chamber had to offer, and to my NOT surprise, it was mostly void and empty with the exception of the mentioned shields which were piled up against and empty standing pedestal on the far left side of the room.

In fact, the entire chamber had nothing but empty standing and quite dusty looking pedestals, basins, podiums, shelves, rags, and so on. All carved out of white marble or stone. The rest of the chamber was simply made of the same sandstone like material as the rest of the building above.

Only less decorative, with most of the chiseled markings and artistic depictions have long been eroded away at some point.

Either way, the entire hall was comparably disappointing in comparison to the ones I have visited before. Bland, empty, dirty, and pretty much run down for the most part.

Well then again, you can’t really have everything now can you?

Bakuss was not too short in taking his time his time though, as I soon found himself standing right next to me before a moments notice. He too, quickly spotted the shields to the far left side, which also drew the unnamed guard’s attention as well.

“Well, finally.” Bakuss muttered as he made his way towards the shields. The newly added nethicite crystals and somewhat refreshed paint job is easily noticeable from my spot. The limited light inside this room easily reflecting upon the surfaces of the crystals. The guy even went as far as to add some silver lining and trimmings along the edges of the shields, which was a nice touch.

Just because for the silver’s sake really. Silver aesthetically always looked a lot more clean than gold in my opinion.

Bakuss quickly picked up one of the shields with his hoof and began to expect its handiworks. Taking a closer look at the linings, both on the metal and the leather beneath it, and also testing out the straps that came with it. Hauling it over his left foreleg and holding it out front of him. Testing if it is just as functional as it is comfortable to hold.

Man, those are a lot of observation I am making here. I would be immediately flagged as a stalker if I was acting like this over at the Internet. Which I did, and which already happened. So why bother?

Online confusion and trolling are my specialties after all. That and shit posting on forums.

I heard Bakuss hummed to himself, which pretty much brought me back from my never ending antics of self-monologues and momentary stillness. He continued to inspect the shield before laying it back down with the rest of them. Nodding to himself afterwards.

“Perfect, with these nethicite infused shields. Magic shouldn’t really be that much of an issue so long as the zebras holding them make sure that the crystal is always pointing at the enemy at all times. Better safe than sorry I would say” Bakuss stated, while rubbing his armored chin with his equally armored hoof.

The random guard nods to this as he stood beside me. “Very true, sir. At least now we will have a much better fighting chance against those born with a high natural affinity to magic. Something that our kind is weak against.” He pointlessly added.

Seriously, what is it with these Zebras, and pretty much everyone else around here constantly spouting out expositions or the obvious? It was as if we are in story or something. Simply following a script that has been laid out by some poor, jobless asshole that is invisibly dictating everything that happened, or will happen to me and my ongoing quest for world domination.

That surely doesn’t sound too crazy of a theory does it?

Nah, I am most likely just thinking way too ahead of myself or just spouting a bunch of random nonsense. Anybody that ever said that madness should be considered sane in first place.

Now that, that’s true and unadulterated madness right there.

Either way, I was once again brought back to the confines of sweet, sweet reality when a certain bucket head of a captain suddenly tapped against my chin to get my attention. I shook myself off of my dream-like state and casually looked down at him as if nothing was wrong. Interestingly so did he.

I would guess waking me up from my self-induced mini coma, have somewhat become of a mandatory job for this little stud here.

Which I could see to be either a good thing or a bad thing given my moods and situations. But for now, I will just let this slide as it is, and focus back at the task at hand.

Beating the cogs before repairing them and adding them to my overall grand machine to becoming the most successful leader in history…well in this history at least.

I began to look around myself afterwards, swiftly noting that the stud from before was strangely missing. I immediately looked back down at Bakuss for answers, which he provided before I even had the chance to assert myself with asking.

“I send off the private to go fetch up some more of his division so that we can all get these shields out to their respected guard stallions and mares at once. Again, the faster we can start drafting those who volunteer, the better.” Bakuss answered.

I again, just nodded. Not really needing or knowing of anything that I can add to his statement. We just waited for a while afterwards, a rather normal, but still somewhat awkward silence dominating the chamber around us. Thankfully though, it didn’t took too much time for a decent number of guards to finally arrive into the room and start picking up all of the shields in a neatly mannered fashion.

I did kind of remembered that unnamed guard’s number, 1324 wasn’t supposed to be telling the location of the vault to anyone, which he kind of did when he brought some of his friends to come alone and bring those shields back up to the surface. Something that should have registered to Bakuss, which it obviously didn’t.

But then again, what really is the point of keeping a chamber that is meant to house enchanted weapons armor still a secret at this point? The treasure and artifacts vault I can kind of understand, but why also for something that a guard would kind off need to have access to in an almost regular basis. Or maybe not THAT regular, but at least common enough that would make such a hassle to keep it secret in the first place simply down and void pointless.

“Well let’s go then, I guess. Time determines who gets to go and who gets to stay. Hope you know your guards just as well as you claim to be. Your fellow Zebras will be fighting in a completely unnatural environment after all. A place no other Zebra, as far as I know, will walk in. I can still remember the mass funeral ritual that took place after the first battle. All of those poor crying Zebras.” I commented, watching the last guards disappear with the shields.

Bakuss nods. “I know your highness, I know. I will personally make sure to only pick those who truly qualify for this task. Those I personally served with and more.” Bakuss responded.

“Well, better go up there then. Let’s see if your claims are as worthy as you say. Time to get this show on the road. Terminator style.” I announced.

Bakuss again simply nods before following me back up the stairs to ground level to get the job done.

Let’s hope that this will truly be the last military involved situation in a row. Because all of this back and forth is really hitting me in the Mojo.

Can’t even have my single moment of Zen while trying to build up the city a bit.

Well, let THEM build up the city’s new infrastructure while I simply do all of the drawing and sketching.

I am obviously no engineer or mathematician here. Never really paid that much attention in school to begin with. But at least I became very good in drawing because of it. Doodling and what not.

Chapter 27: Time for the Exterminator to knock on the door

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Chapter 28: War for the underworld...sounds Metal

Author's Note

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Chapter 28: War for the underworld...sounds Metal

Chapter 28: War for the underworld…sounds metal

Edited by Mr Salespony

“Alright, this is it.” Farries shouted out as he stood right in front an old stone door. Well more like a loud whisper really, but still certainly louder than the average changeling.

The changeling captain looked up towards the door, raising an eyebrow under his helmet at the site of this ancient portal. “This certainly is one ancient looking door. Most likely carved out before the beginning of the Zasamar dynasty from the looks of it.” The captain casually commented while tapping his chin.

A common history knowledge for most changelings, but obviously not for a certain Gazelle decked out in a jet black changeling armor with added padding underneath.

Granted, it was still somewhat uncomfortable to wear, but at least it wasn’t stinging or grinding in all the wrong places like it previously did.

Besides that, Cyrus just shook his head as his much more educated mind quickly kicked in at the mention of past dynasties and history.

Spending most of his later years in a library does have its perks, even though it wasn’t as exciting as fighting underground dwelling monsters or demons down below. Palmyria’s grandmother had always thought that the changeling’s future was further down underground. Only because she was feeling unnaturally paranoid of the surface world above. Something most changelings don’t even know about.

“No, this door actually stamps from AFTER the Zasamar dynasty, not before.” Cyrus commented as he pointed a hoof at some of the runes and hieroglyphs dotting the edges of the door. “These markings were first used during the new reign of the newly founded Nebanerii dynasty. Which began with Palmyria’s great, great, great grandmother almost a millennia ago. In some case, some of us aren’t particularly well educated in our hive’s history.” He added, allowing his superior knowledge and age shine through.

The last realization actually making him internally sighed, just a little bit.

This information was worthless to most, especially towards a certain doe as her magically infused gem and horns illuminated the surface of the stone door in front of her.

“Well, that is all well and good, but do I have to remind you all that we are here for a very specific reason, and with it not being history lessons?” Mystic Gem stated, not looking particularly impressed by this rough looking slab of rock.

“Well, of course. Farries, Captain.” Cyrus ordered quickly.

The two aforementioned changelings just nodded in response, before both started to channel magic through their horns, causing them to shine in a yellowish aura. Runes and hieroglyphs mimicked their magical aura as they too began to glow, responding quite visibly by the two changeling’s attempt of communicating with this old language.

Afterwards, the door finally opened as it started to slide down into the ground, disappearing from view and allowing those with good enough night vision to see past its previously unknown passage.

Mystic didn’t have a good enough night vision to see through it clearly, as she swiftly casted a firefly spell into the cavern to illuminate it. Or at least a portion of it.

“You know, I wouldn’t necessarily advice to do that.” Farries criticized, in which mystic scoffed at.

“Oh please, as if anyone could even see us in this long, forgotten, and constantly mentioned to be abandoned tunnel. I should know, because you three keep bringing it up ever since we left the warehouse.” She countered, being as impatient as ever.

The captain just sighed, while Cyrus simply shook his head.

“Nobody really, but it’s better safe than to be sorry. Especially when Obsidian Guardlings are somewhere close by on separate tunnels. They have many magical abilities, one of which is tracking magic and spells which have been casted nearby. Even through solid stone and rock walls.” Cyrus added.

“Well, at least I have to give miss Mystic credit for one thing she is correct at. We got to move while it is still quite. Let’s just hope that the Zebras managed to do their part of this attack, and diverted the majority of the changeling guard’s attention away from us. The less we have to encounter inside the hive’s expansive halls, the better.” He announced, before leading the way.

Again, the party just nodded, before following Cyrus’ lead. Including the entire small army following behind them, which consisted of both previous members of the Changeling guards and even some veterans of the previously mentioned famed and feared Obsidian Guard. Highly valuable additions to their little army if not anything else.

The tunnels were both long and wide, snakeking around solid granite rocks and branching off into different tunnels and passageways leading to gods knows where. As Farries said, the tunnels were only just recently excavated, but not fully explored.

The long forgotten style and method of carving, alongside the old architecture and decorated pillars, were all new and awe inspiring for those less educated with their hive’s history. Though, even those with more history in their heads were still just as curious as the rest at seeing all of these old, long forgotten architecture themselves.

“Well, there is a reason why these tunnels were abandoned in the first place. Those support columns doesn’t look particularly sturdy enough to upheave the much heavier rock ceiling above us. Some have even long been collapsed due to erosion by the looks of it.” Cyrus openly commented, as the small army started to pass by a large pile of rocks and rubble. One of which looking suspiciously similar to one of those supports dotting the cave in all directions.

“And we are trudging through this obvious death trap because?” Mystic asked as she shined her horns up towards one of the collapsed ceiling above her. The damaged going so far up, she wasn’t even able to see what was even beyond its ominous darkness.

“Well, simple.” Farries began. “For the same reason as to why no sane changeling would ever dare trudge through these tunnels in the first place.” He answered, not exactly enticing confident or safety through his terrible reasoning.

“Wow, how comforting.” Mystic answered, sarcastically if some of you didn’t get that.

The rest of the trip was pretty much silent from that point onwards. Only the occasional mutter echoed through the group from the younger members.

It seems that their trip was mostly met with eerie, but still nerve racking serenity at what was to come.

Unlike for another group of intruders moving through these ancient tunnels. Who will soon find themselves in the short end of this operation stick.

………………………………………………………………………………………

“Is everything ok up there?” Liu loudly whispered at the changeling above her, standing on top of a large overhang and scouting the large open chamber in front of him.

The silent, but slow march into the under city was dark and foreboding, with no sight or sound of any changelings nearby…well, until now that is.

The buzzing of wings were eventually starting to enter everybody’s ears as they ventured deeper and deeper into the catacombs. Having long passed the Zebra made tunnels, and have now entered unfamiliar territory.

Unnatural looking caves and tunnels crudely cut or chiseled from ages of past.

Now was time for Liu and Isdar’s escorts to do what they are here for. Scouting ahead and leading them through this maze of tunnels and passageways, while also helping them out with the use of their own magic when things eventually start to go real serious really fast.

From what Liu’s escorts have managed to deduct so far, is that a good portion of these changeling guards were actually wearing jet black armor. Very distinct sign that the much talked about Obsidian Guard were here as well. A guard who is alleged to be very effective in magic craft and full on frontal assaults.

Something which Liuanda did not focused much on, especially when it was made clear in just how hopelessly outnumbered they really were. Only their dedicated experience can help them out now. Especially for those who participated within the battle for the east bridge, where the Zebras had also been heavily outclassed and outnumbered. A situation which they still managed to come out on top of, thanks to their training, discipline, and over all courage.

Well, that and the help of some new tactics and toys.

“But even so, it was certainly a much more ‘traditional’ battle than this one. No magic, no flying enemies charging from above, and no deception.” Liu suddenly thought to herself, a sense of doubt quickly entering her mind, before she swiftly dispelled it.

She forcefully remembered herself that they were carrying their special nethicite encrusted shields that should give them an edge against these magic casting changelings. Nullifying their magic, and giving them a fighting chance.

“ARGH!” Liuanda’s thoughts were swiftly interrupted when that scream entered her ears.

She didn’t even had the time to properly yelp or flinch out of her armor when the yellow burning mass of the previously known changeling scout came crashing down next to her.

Lifeless and still very much burning under the intensity of whatever magic had hit him.

The next thing that came were the very distinct sound of someone shouting, before a massive orchestra of buzzing wings swiftly drowned out everything else within the tunnels. Both the Zebras and rebels knew what was coming, and they didn’t need to see it in order to believe it.

Liuanda’s training immediately kicked in when the realization dawned on her.

“QUICK, EVERYBODY FORM A DEFENSIVE LINE, SHIELDS UP AND IN FRONT OF YOU, AND KEEP YOUR SPEARS POINTED AT THE ENEMY AT ALL TIMES. BACK ROWS, HOLD YOUR SHIELD ABOVE YOU AND KEEP CLOSE. NO GAPS SHOULD BE VISIBLE FOR THE ENEMY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF! HURRY!” She quickly ordered, to which had an immediate effect.

The guards under her command didn’t need to be told twice before they all quickly formed up in front of their officer, and presented themselves as a deadly wall of shields and spears towards the enemy.

Isdar’s branch was practically doing the same thing as well. Effectively choking off their side of the tunnel perfectly and preventing anyone on the ground from passing through. Though, not so much for the airspace above them.

That’s where the changeling escorts came into action, keeping an eye for anything above while also providing fire from behind their covers.

This is it, there was no turning back now. It was either hold the line and fight, or die for the Zebras above them. At least if this fails, the entrances to this underworld could easily just be sealed off by many different means. Preventing any of these changelings, or at least for a time, from invading the outside world.

Or at least, that is what Liuanda is hoping for if she, and the rest of her troops, are going to meet their end in this underground cave system.

“It's a good thing that Little Steppes eventually decided to join up with a different group of changelings that were heading off towards the hive quietly. Better follow them into the excavated tunnels than us.” She thought to herself as things were starting to develop themselves rather quickly.

“Invaders! Surface dwelling invaders! just as we have been warned. Kill or capture them before they can make it deeper into the cave system. By order of the queen!” One of the changelings could be heard screaming at the onslaught of buzzing wings and chatters.

Though, soon these noises were promptly accompanied by the charging of many horns and the immediate flinging of deadly spells directed towards the mass of Zebra guards.

“Here it comes, brace yourselves!” Isdar shouted as he too raised his shield and prepared himself alongside with his fellow guards for the incoming bombardment.

The nethicite crystals inside their shields immediately started to glow when the first couple of projectiles were just meters away from their targets. One by one lighting up the tunnels with their ethereal glows, forcing some of the closer changelings above them to shield their sensitive eyes from this unexpected surprise.

Even more so when their magic attacks swiftly found themselves absorbed by the unique magical properties of these unknown stones. Barely even leaving any scorch marks or scratches on their surface as every bolt harmlessly dispersed on top of these shining crystals.

The plan worked, and the changeling’s biggest strength was swiftly nullified. Now, the playing fields are a lot more even for the Zebras. Minus the flying ability that still can give them problems.

The swarm of changeling guards above them were understandably confused by this sudden turn of event, before many of them simply decided to fire again, and again, and again, only to be met with the same confusing, and for some infuriating, result of their magic having little to no effect on these surface dwellers.

Surface dwellers that doesn’t even possess any active magic on them.

It was almost immediately clear that their magic, at least from range, were no use on them. Unexpected, shocking even, but still nothing to give up upon. These were still enemies of the hive, invaders who are trespassing into their underground dwellings, threatening both the hive and the crown living within it. And just like any enemy, it has to be stopped, the queen demands it. Literally, in their heads, in fact.

The Zebras however, were as tense as they can possibly be. All huddling behind their shields and spears, just waiting for these bug equines to do their next move. Not even daring to peek out of their steel and crystal encrusted shells as they kept their stance.

Though, to the Zebra’s confusing surprise however, the next move that these changelings made was anything but expected. The mass of normal changeling guards suddenly retreated. Buzzing backwards out of the light one by one while still keeping their glaring eyes trained at the guards below them.

Liu on her end, was particularly intrigued by this sudden change of events. Peeking passed her shield to make sure that she wasn’t seeing things.

“What the…was this…really that easy?” She whispered to herself while still watching the retreating mass just disappear behind the shadows. Their ominous blue eyes passed on them one by one while fading away into the darkness, before nothing was left for the Zebras to visibly see. Only the continuous sound of buzzing wings was the only thing still indicating that they were still there. Simply hiding in the natural shadows of the tunnels, watching them, much to the their nervousness.

The changeling rebels behind them were equally perplexed by this. Also peeking out of their covers to see what was going on. The only one who wasn’t as confused as the rest was actually the changeling officer himself. Being a veteran of the Obsidian Guard himself, he knew with great dread what this tactical retreat meant.

“Don’t be fooled. They are only making way for the more experienced soldiers to take the helm. This is far from over.” He called out to the two Zebra leaders in front of him. Readying his horn with potent magic, to which the changelings near him mimicked.

They can feel the tenseness their leader was feeling. Quite literally in fact, thanks to their changeling biology.

Both Liu and Isdar could also feel the dread on this situation as they both steeled themselves. Same with the rest, and not a moment too soon, as new eyes suddenly emerged from the shadows in front of them. 10 became 20, 20 became 30, and 30 quickly became hundreds as the seconds ticked by, with the glow of horns suddenly accompanied these bodiless eyes, before a sudden flash illuminated everything in front of the intruders’ vision.

It didn’t took long for many to immediately scream out in pure agony as a large portion of the front row fell on the ground, squirming and screaming their lungs out as they were engulfed in an unexpected sea of a green lit inferno, same with the very earth in front of them. Everything was suddenly burning in a wall of green fire, a literal firewall.

Whatever massive spell these changelings had performed must have somehow gotten through their nethicite shields. Actually, it didn’t, as many were still glowing and crackling with magical overload at the same greenly aura that the flames where roaring with. Most likely still having done its job, but not as fast and efficient enough as liked.

If it wasn’t for the presence of these stones, the casualties might have been much, MUCH worse. In fact, they might have had actually, and most likely, wiped out the entire branch of the Zebra guards completely. Alas, the first row of guards still perished nonetheless. But again, it could have been much more devastating.

Liu thankfully managed to be one of the few lucky ones to still somehow come out of this attack unscathed, despite being right in the midst of it all.

She coughed and hissed from both the pain and the intense heat of the flames in front of her, forcing her to back up with her shield still raised, which was pretty much mimicked by all the other guards behind her. Nobody could do anything for the poor souls which were now being burned alive within this inferno.

Their screams slowly, but surely calming down one by one with the crackling sound of the fires still being present.

As if this devastating loss of a quarter of their forces wasn’t enough, an ear piercing shriek suddenly entered everybody’s ears, which was soon followed by a mass of shadows rapidly stomping through the very wall of fire in front of them, only for them to reveal themselves to be the same black clad changeling guards they have previously spotted. All of their horns glowing with spears held in front of them.

Liuanda miraculously managed to notice this within the midst of the chaos, and immediately called it out to her fellow guards to brace themselves while sharply forming up with the still intact second line.

For some, there wasn’t even enough time to form up with the rest, and simply present both their shields and weapons towards the charging enemy. Some quickly fell at the blinding speed of these elite changelings while some still managed to hold them back, if only barely.

The clash was quick, but fierce. With the entire line being somewhat pushed back towards the allied changelings behind them that were still recovering from their own shock. The ones in front immediately found themselves in a deadly melee with the vicious Obsidian Guards as spears hit shields and armor. Even Liuanda was busy fending off two changelings at once, managing to stick both of them through the eyes, before focusing her attention on another pair who were fencing off with two other Zebra guards.

The sudden and unexpected onslaught had its effect, the front lines were slowly breaking. For those at the front, it had basically become a massive slug fest.

The changelings who retreated before returned, and were trying to snipe off any Zebras who were too busy to take notice of the menace above them. That’s where the changeling rebel escorts came into effect, as they fired their magic at the airborne foes, keeping them occupied and disrupting their own focus.

The entire cave was now just a chaos of ongoing fighting and the flashing of magic projectiles. The sounds of steel hitting obsidian and the shouts and roars of those participating in the melee.

Liuanda on her part, was once again overwhelmed by multiple changelings focused on her, but thankfully she now had the backup of some of her fellow guards to help her out, after she, and a large number of guards, had been forced to break off from the rest of their line, and be a part of the a more chaotic slug fest in front of the still raging flame wall.

The changeling officer in the back was trying to keep his focus intact while sniping off as many changelings as he could from his position. Though sadly, his mana reserves were slowly running out. Not to mention giving him a sizable headache as well. Plus, the ever increasing number of changelings taking up into the air to join their brethren to try and snipe as many Zebras as they could was making their strategy no longer sustainable in the long run.

To make it all worse, he wasn’t the only one who was getting close in depleting his magic reserves. He dreaded this idea, but it was slowly getting time for him to take a more ‘personal’ approach to things, even though it might eventually lead to his certain death.

But it was fine, he had made peace with that concept long ago, if not by the nagging teeth of time, rather at an end of a spear, spell, or a claw by performing his duties as a defender of the hive.

Or liberator in this case.

He sighed, coming up with a decision in his mind, before sharply turning his gaze over at the closer rebels around him, who of which, were actually veterans themselves, though not from the same elite rank of guards that he was once part off.

But alas, it is certainly better than nothing, especially in a situation like this.

“All of you, come follow me. We are going to charge the guards head on, and keep them busy. We need to give the Zebras more time to stand off against the elite’s down below so that we have at least a margin of a chance to get through this. This is either all or nothing.” The changeling officer ordered. Casting one last spell from his horn, which in turn summoned a perfectly good looking obsidian spear similar in shape and look to the ones the Obsidian Guards used on the Zebras. Another wonderful proof of what he once used to be an elite soldier during times long past.

The rebel changelings in question, promptly stopped their spell firing, and turned their gazes collectively to their leader with surprised expressions. Some of them even sported looks of disbelief at the officer’s mad request.

“But sir, we would be heavily outnumbered if we charge them head on. Such an attack would be suicide. Especially for such a small force like us.” One of the changelings argued, sounding and looking quite outraged that his leader would even ask them for such a bold move.

Though his defiant demeanor was promptly silenced by a very hard and sharp glare from the aforementioned ex-elite. Even going so far as to point his newly summoned spear at him for threatening effect.

“Back in MY days, such tones and disobediences would have easily gotten you cast out of the hive, forcing you to fend for yourself in a world where most surface dwellers would have seen you as nothing, but a monster.” He angrily stated, before giving another sigh, and forcing himself to get back to the point.

There was no room for arguments right now.

“And yes, I am fully aware that such a request on most normal circumstances would be downright ill-advised. But, this is NOT one of those normal circumstances at all. We HAVE to do this in order to give the Zebras down there more time, and lengthen the potential for reinforcements to finally arrive. Remember, there are more than our team scouting through these tunnels. The ongoing echoes of actual battle would surly summon up all the other changelings and Zebra guards nearby to come for the aid for their endangered brethren, I am certain.” He openly shouted within the midst of this ongoing chaos. The never ending screams of war easily drowning out everything else, making simple conversations with one another difficult.

“Now, follow me and don’t lag back. I at least, have an ace up my sleeve on how I can increase our survivability chances while flying into the fray. You just have to trust me on this one.” He finalized before spreading out his insectoid like wings from underneath his armor, and taking off with all of his called out companions following him. Mostly because they really don’t have much say in the matter.

Besides that, the small force of changelings swiftly unsheathed their curved blades with their magic and mentally steeling themselves for what was to come.

It was rather difficult for them to think on what they were about to do. But, it wasn’t as difficult to remind themselves that there is still a job, giving those who carry the true chance of success with the diversion they needed in order to slip by unnoticed and do what needs to be done.

They needed to give them time, as much time as they can in fact, even if it meant throwing their own lives away for a bigger cause. Many changelings, from the citizens, to the loneliest of worker drones were depending on them to succeed so that the madness from the queen can finally meet its end. To hopefully turn things back to how they were before the Queen murdered her grandmother, and took over the crown for herself.

It is that thought, this sense of responsibility, that quickly kicked out any ideas of doubt and fear out of their hearths, and replaced it with a sense of finality.

In the end, this was exactly what they were trained to do, even if it meant going against their own kind to reach their goal.

Their leader screamed out a war cry as he pushed in as much muscles power as he could into his wings while charging the mass of changelings ahead of him, holding his spear out in front of him with both of his hooves. Not with his horn, but physically holding it.

The simple guards behind him mimicked his tenacity, feeling their own fill of adrenaline coursing through their changeling veins, causing them to roar as well.

This was now the point of no return for them, especially when the guards closest to them noticed their bold charge, and were ready to intercept them with both magical bolts and actual weapons at the ready. What they didn’t account for however, was for a blinding flash to immediately overload their light sensitive eyes, causing them to shriek in pain. With some even dropping their weapons and canceling out their spell while clutching their eyes.

The ex-elite, allowed himself a quick smirk, before powering down his horn, and aiming for his first incapacitated victim. Wasting no time in ending his life, he rammed his razor sharp spear right through a gap in this armor, and pierced his chitin.

The poor guard didn’t even had the time to flinch, as his life was swiftly draining away from him. Having been pierced right through his green beating heart, and fell from the air like a loose rock falling off a cliff.

Fortunately for someone down below, the newly added carcass landed right on top of an Obsidian Guard who was about to give his final strike at an injured Zebra in front of him, giving the lucky Zebra enough time to pick up his own spear and finish off the job that the dead changeling started, turning the number of dead changelings laying on the ground from one to two.

The random Zebra in question, allowed himself a second to look up above and saw the allied changeling above him sticking a spear into his hostile brethren while they seem to be struggling with something.

He just nodded to himself, before diverting his attention back at the battle, not minding the large gash on his right hind leg, and simply limped back into the fray.

Casualties were piling up at this point, most notably on the enemy’s side thanks to the Zebra’s more natural gravitation to a more traditional and melee focused battle. Something the changelings neglected in favor for their magic and shape shifting skills.

An advantage which they had lost, thanks to the Nethicite shields. But still didn’t prevent those above and those fighting on the ground from casting magic. Some even going past their defenses and hitting true.

“By the gods and ancestors above, please preserve us when the time of judgment arrives.” Liuanda prayed as she only barely managed to dodge a bolt fired by a distant Obsidian Guard who was towering above the battle from a vantage point.

She was feeling exhausted, her body in the verge of shutting down despite her mind telling her to keep on fighting. Never before had she been in so much strain in both physically and mentally.

She was coated in both red and green blood, proof of her skills having been keeping her alive for this long. Both her weapon and shield looked even worse, the steel and decorative carvings barely visible under all of its gore. The nethicite on her shield having long given up on protecting her from incoming spells, forcing her to dodge and weave whenever a spell was fired at her.

It seems that at the worst of situations, these magic negating crystal do have their limits after all. Reminiscent to the discoloration and the tiny cracks visible on its crystalline surface. Not a hopeful sign, especially with it making tiny arcs of sparks shooting off of it occasionally. And to make it worse, she wasn’t the only one who had the unfortunate displeasure of discovering this previously unknown limit at the worst time, with many having lost their lives because of that.

The magic bolts coming from the changelings hovering above might be dangerous, but the ones coming from the guards were downright deadly. Any hit from them, even it just glance, with their magic bolts is enough to immediately ignite any sad victim in a flash of green fire.

Their cries were just downright horrific to listen to. Something which Liuanda had to listen to lot of while preventing herself from suffering the same unmerciful fate as well.

Liuanda was heaving heavily under her helmet, out of breath, and exhausted beyond as can be. She was hot, unbearably so. Not just because of the large wall of fire still roaring in front of her or the occasional unlucky Zebra around her who gets hit by the aforementioned changeling’s spell. No, she was feeling genuinely hot inside her plate and scales. Her robes long ditched because of that, or rather ripped off of her instead, leaving nothing but the bare plate underneath and the few exposed patches of fur here and there. Despite that, she was still exhausted and sweating as if there was no tomorrow. It might just be if she doesn’t put her focus back on the battle instead of just lazily standing there in the middle of all this chaos.

She wanted to go on, but again, her body was just too incapable in responding to her commands. Her senses were slowly starting to fail. Everything around her suddenly started to sound muffled and distant, accompanied by her vision getting blurrier and blurrier with every passing breath. The sound of her constant heaving was all she could hear.

Her throat was dry, aching, and begging her to drink something despite it being the worst of time to do so.

Her head was starting to buzz too. It might be because of the heat, the overall exhaustion, or the risk of dehydration after having sweated off most of her moisture out of her body. Or, it could even be from some of the large bleeding gashes she practically had on all of her legs.

She was feeling tired, so very tired. Not even realizing that she had unconsciously let go of her spear as she drifted further away. It’s muffled thud and clambering sounds after hitting the ground only mildly recognizable by Liuanda’s ears.

She wasn’t even aware that the same changeling who was standing on top of his outcrop was now aiming up a second shot on her. Liuanda allowed her eyes to momentarily close themselves, feeling just as heavy as the rest of her body.

It felt good, oh so very good.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Liuanda’s eyes immediately flashed open after that ear piercing scream entered her system, despite everything else sounding so muffled. She promptly raised her gaze up towards the source, only to see a new changeling standing on top of the very same rock where her would be killer was. In fact, the would be killer’s body was in the process of crashing down with the still burning inferno his brethren casted.

Her eyes and ears immediately perked up when she realized who this changeling was.

It was none other than the rebel changeling officer himself, covered in green stains of his own slain brethren, with the tip of his horn sparking unnaturally. He seemed to be in great pain, flinching every time his horn gave a spark, but still nonetheless showing true dedication and unwavering resolve in his expression.

She could tell that he was far from done, even though he seemed to be looking worse off than she did when she was looking back at herself.

“LOOK, REINFORCEMENTS! BY THE GODS ABOVE, REINFORCEMENTS!”

This snapped Liuanda out a second time as she looked around herself in both confusion and panic on what this new commotion was all about. For a second, she thought that another wave of guards had entered the battlefield, but it seemed to be the other groups of the Zebras and rebels that had came from the opposite ends of this wide open tunnel.

The Zebras of both Liuanda’s branch and Isdar’s branch have put up one hell of a resistance, despite the having been outnumbered 3 to 1 from the start. But now that there was a whole new force of Zebras arriving at the scene, alongside with even more of these rebellious changelings in tow, pretty much told the badly battered changeling guards everything they needed to know. The odds were suddenly more in favor for these invaders than on them. Something some of the guards’ leaders swiftly realized when they noticed the whole new set of Zebras and traitors arriving at the battlefield. All perfectly equipped, fresh, and ready to step in.

Plus, this tunnel is just too much of a chokepoint to really take advantage of their numbers. So to prevent further losses right now, it is wiser to turn around and seek better opportunities to let their numbers flex its muscles, not to mention calling for reinforcements themselves back from the hive.

One of the changelings, probably one of the leaders, suddenly started to shout something in a very undecipherable chatter that none of the Zebras could even make sense off. But it was made very clear quickly what these orders meant when the entire front of both the Obsidians and regulars suddenly abandoned the fight, and took off into the air in the masses. Leaving both the carnage and the literal firewall behind as the retreated back into the enigmatic darkness of these caves. Even the echoing buzzing of their wings eventually subsided from everybody’s ears as the seconds ticked by.

The surviving guards and rebels immediately rejoiced at this outstanding victory, despite against all odds. Some were confused at this sudden retreat of their enemy. But, a victory is a victory nonetheless.

Especially after having suffered so many losses on their part.

Liuanda just sighed, before allowing herself to finally collapse onto the floor, giving her body the badly needed rest it craved for. She even went so far as to remove her helmet and throwing it off to the side with little care in the world, allowing her sweat drenched and messy mane to hang freely from the sides of her scalp.

“Maybe keeping my mane this long as a guard might not be such a good idea after all.” She thought to herself while looking down at her striped, doubled shaded red mane as it was being soaked by someone else’s blood.

She ignored it. Because really, how much more red can her mane really be when adding some more blood into the mix? But then again, she is far from really caring at this moment.

She was just happy to still consider herself to be amongst the living, despite the many occasions where she could have easily not be. Though, many of her fellow guards were sadly not as lucky as her. Even more depressing when she lifted her head to look around, notting all the dead bodies around her. A good portion of them even being unrecognizable. Black, and more or less burned to a crisp, minus the armor.

She just silently prayed for those unfortunate souls to at least have an easy pasture towards their awaiting ancestors. At least now they can finally rest and know that their deaths weren’t completely in vain.

“Officer Liuanda?” Somebody suddenly tapped her on the shoulder.

She immediately looked up, greeted by another Zebra guard. An officer just like her judging by the color of his robes obscuring most of his flank and barrel.

“Y-yes?” She automatically responded.

The stallion saluted. “Officer and branch leader Harkin here. I must say, what you, Isdar, and the changeling rebels managed to do here is just downright impressive. To hold out so long, with so many disadvantages is pretty much a miracle.” He congratulated, which Liuanda accepted somewhat bitterly.

She just sighed. “Perhaps…but still, many good mares and stallions have lost their lives today. Most of them weren’t even prepared for what was coming to them. For them to just be burned alive faster than most of us could blink. Just horrible.” She depressingly responded.

The now named Harkin nodded, before turning his gaze around the carnage that surrounded him.

Liuanda did the same, though this time her focus was swiftly drawn to something else. Noticing a group of changelings off into the distance, who were casting some kind of spell which subdued the magic created inferno, making the ground underneath it traversable on hoof once more. Many guards and rebels took advantage of that, as they all started to cross and directly towards the cave where the guards disappeared to.

She looked at the scene with confusion, before looking back at the officer beside her.

“What the…why are these guards and changelings perusing the fleeing changelings? We already won.” She naturally asked.

“Well, simply to keep on the pressure, of course.” He responded.

Liuanda wasn’t particularly convinced though. “Well sure, but what if these retreating changelings are actually just leading you and the rest to an ambush or much more open grounds where their numbers and skills can be even more advantageous? Remember, these tunnels are changeling made. So it would be easy to assume that they now knew every nook and cranny that these underground domain provides.” She pointed out, sounding and feeling quite worried thanks to this possibility.

The officer in return just smirked, to her surprise. “Well, that may be true. But, so does our changeling allies, and from what they have informed us so far, the cave systems from this point on are just generally straightforward with only minor junctions and crossings. Minus the large hall which house one of the four main entrances of the hive.” He responded.

“Oh…well, I am still not sure.” Liuanda replied.

Harkin just smiled. ”Do not worry. You and your zebras already done much more than what was previously thought possible. In fact, one changeling has already been sent of and tasked to fly back to surface to request for more supplies and pickups for you, your guards, and dead as well.” He assured, before looking back at the passing guards ahead of him.

“I think I have to go now too.” He announced, before turning away.

He swiftly followed a band of guards just standing in place. Most likely his branch if she had to guess. Soon after a few inaudible talks were exchanged, he and his guards started to move. Following first group of Zebras and rebels through the now extinguished path into gods knows where.

Well, she knows, but not how long and exactly how to, in this maze of tunnels

She just sighed again for the third time, before interrupted once again by another set of hooves coming towards her.

“Miss Liuanda, are you alright?” A random mare standing behind Liu asked, forcing her to turn her head once more to look at the newcomer.

“Yes, yes, I am fine, besides my obvious fatigue and… my injuries.” She replied, hissing a bit at the mentioning of her wounds. Only just now noticing that she had injuries pretty much on all of her legs.

The guard mare stepped closer, and sat on her haunches, offering both of her hooves towards her. “I can help you up and act as your support if you want.” She offered.

Liu looked up at the offered hooves, before gazing up at the mare once more. She too wore battle scars all over her from, such as bloodstains, bumps on her armor, and even some wounds on the exposed sections of her armor, particularly the legs, as was the case for most. But besides that, certainly far better off than she was. She most likely must have been part of the back lines, the ones that actually managed to keep their formation after this whole chaos began.

Liuanda eventually nodded. “Yes, sure, why not. No point in allowing pride to get the better of me at this point. Plus, I really don’t care about my pride right now anyways.” She responded, taking the offered hooves with her own before being pulled back on all fours.

Or rather two, as one was draped around the guard mare’s neck while keeping her left hind leg off the ground as its wounds were the most severe.

She simply gave the mare a thankful smile. “Thanks, what is your name by the way?” She asked, simply out of curiosity.

The mare smiled back, an out of place action compared to the situation that they are in, but why display more gloom and doom around you when you can try and carry more positive feelings with a smile? A little ‘pick me up’ after what everybody had been through is certainly welcomed.

“Private Jabella of Isdar’s branch…or well…was.” She responded, her smile twisting into a sad frown after she said that.

Liuanda tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean was?” She naturally asked, despite already having a really good guess as to what this foreshadowing applies.

But, she needed to be sure.

“Well…” The mare began. “He was actually one of the first who got struck and killed by that devastating fire attack those guards did in the beginning. We managed to confirm that, as his personalized custom sword which he liked to show around prior to this was actually lying next to his presumed remains. The attack was just so quick. Who knew that the magic negating nethicites have their limits? This was just…if only we have known before.” She answered, questioning it to herself rather than anyone else in the end.

Liuanda’s eyes widened at these news before she simply lowering her head, quietly morning for the lost officer and wishing him a good passing to his afterlife far above.

At least he served his duties, same as Liuanda did. Though for her, she at least managed to survive.

“No matter how many battles someone, or rather I, participate in. Watching oh so many of my fellow guards fall is never going to be easy. But alas, this is the cost in order to make your mark on the world. In the end, only those with the will and tenacity shall prevail while the others get conquered. Such are the rules of the worlds stage, if you like to or not” She thought to herself as she was carried over to her aforementioned fellow guards who were currently busy identifying the dead and mending to those just as heavily injured as she is.

“Liuanda, by the ancestors are you alright?” The sudden voice of Little Steppes called out to her, giving this otherwise grim sounding situation a bit of a pep into it.

Though not that much of a pep. Even the sudden presence of a Gazelle wont make her day any better at this point

Liuanda lifted her head. Just in time to see the shocked little Doe come in front of her broken form.

Liuanda just frown “Little Steppes, you lucky bastard.”

Chapter 29: Pointless filler Time :D

Chapter 29: Pointless filler time :D

Edited by: Miles Skywalker

“Your highness, your highness!” I heard someone call into my room while I was busy sitting inside my wardrobe closet.

Why am I inside my wardrobe some might ask? Well no real reason, just for the idea of doing it and also because that THIS wardrobe is so freaking BIG that it can almost be qualified as its own room rather than just a wardrobe, that it can perfectly fit a full grown human adult without any issues. Because, duh, I just explained why and how.

But seriously, I just wanted to see how far this closet can actually go before I would eventually end up in Lord of the Rings rip off land with talking furry animals and a monarchy system that somehow prefers unprofessional teens as their rulers instead of more aged and wise individuals. Look who's talking, but alas, it was not to be. But at least I got compensated for the fact that I can actually lay myself down horizontally and casually relax my day out in between my neatly folded pajamas, shirts and bed sheets while being surrounded by curtain of purple colored togas.

This takes me right back to my childhood when I used to build caves or forts out of pillows and sheets, or crawling in between the tight spaces of my old closet.

Ah, yes, the good old days, where everything was just as black and white for me as it is now in my adult years. Good times, good times.

“Your highness! Are you here?...I think he is either at the bathroom or somewhere else.” I heard this newfound voice say while I was busy flashing backing to a flashback about my lost childhood.

Ah yes, I still have a visitor looking for me, don't I?

With that realization out of the way, I simply rolled myself out of my pajamas and bed sheet cocoon before rolling right out past the door and landing onto the rug covered floor with audible oomph and thud. Much to the surprise of whoever it was that was interrupting my well-deserved flashback.

“Your highness? Where you really inside that closet this entire time?” The voice of Susi quickly asked, sounding quite surprised at my sudden appearance.

I didn’t reply, mostly thanks to the fact that my face was kissing the carpet floor below me, which obviously makes replying somewhat difficult when your mouth is momentarily covered up with something which I am sure is more valuable than my own two kidneys. But it’s nothing that a little “Roll dich” move can fix.

Though I was always preferably a cat person. At least I don’t need to micromanage them as much as dogs. Having cats allows you to be a lot lazier as a pet owner. But only if they are outside and not inside the house causing a ruckus.

But besides talking about dogs, I managed to get myself facing upwards, which in turn allowed me the verbal freedom I need in order to answer a surprised and frantic looking Susara.

Wow it really has been a while since I last addressed her by her full name. Times have changed man, times have changed.

“Yes, yes I did, and it certainly was the most comfortable wardrobe I have ever slept in. Truly a wonderful call back to times long past. Time’s where I had zero responsibilities and even less shit to care about until…well… to be honest nothing has changed on that part. So never mind what I just said and just roll with the first two sentences.” I casually answered while raising a finger.

“So wait, you mean to tell me that you have been sleeping in that closet over there this entire time while I was frantically looking for you? I even passed through your room twice, even going so far in asking all the guards I could come across about your highness whereabouts. And you have been inside the closet all this time?” She rambled on completely flabbergasted. Sounding more and more annoyed and…do I say pissed off with every passing word.

It seems I have finally managed to troll her to the edge of the cage. It was bound to happen eventually to be honest. But wasn’t expecting it to be related towards sleeping or wardrobes.

Ah yes, such is life. Un-expecting and also a total turd himself when it comes to picking up random causes for random events that are completely unrelated or unexpected.

Why am I now surprised.

“Yes.” I casually replied while finally looking at her more properly. “BUT, I also managed to get a lot of things done before doing that. The evidence to my claims can see is right on that desk over there.” I pointed out, which of course, Susi followed.

Zebra’s and generally everyone else are quite susceptible towards my index finger or thumb whenever I am pointing something out. Which can be quite bad when considering poor little Penelope into the mix. Risking the risk of pointing something out which is not meant to be seen by little fire breathing toddlers.

Speaking of toddlers.

My eyes perked up almost immediately when I realization hit me. Susi over there was about to say something again before I swiftly cut her off with my swift reflexes on getting back up from my cocoon before dusting myself off.

“Wait just a second.” I announced before peeking back into this gate sized closet that I just rolled out off.

Pushing myself past all of those shirts and toga’s up above and digging my way through those bed sheets and pajamas, and a very curiously and completely out of place pair of pink panties in between, I eventually started to feel around for anything scaly, clawy and breathing. And there and behold, there she was, or rather there she was, tucked away neatly in between the aforementioned panties and a small collection of plushies which are actually the same once she usually has inside that little crib of hers, was little Old Penelope. Babbling around to herself while moving a human looking plushie around with her claws.

She immediately let go of her toy and started to clap her tiddy widdy claws the moment I reached out to grab this little bundle of fire and barbecue from her own cocoon.

“Dadda Alesh.” She loudly babbled. Causing a certain mare behind to quietly gasp in surprise.

“Wait, she can talk now? When did that happen?” She question as I straightened myself with Penelo in my arms.

I smiled. “Just now, after she received that her plushie version of me this morning.” I replied.

“But…but I don’t remember her ever talking this morning when you and Bakuss where outside at the Palace Barracks before the troops were sent off. Why didn't she try saying anything then? Newborns usually start repeating their first words over and over again after they manage to learn it” She again questioned. Being as confused as she always is when around me.

Well, most of the time at least. But recently not because…she had her own duties to do before all of this.

But hey, at least being the King means never having a shortage of people, or rather Zebras to troll when my main cast of background characters aren’t here to fill in the space. Just look at all those newly recruited Palace guards slouching around within the compound.

“Anyway back on topic.” I announced, completely ignoring her question.

Susi blinked at this for a couple of times before she quickly managed to remember whatever it was she wanted to talk about in the first place.

Not sure if she realized that I dodged her question, or simply decided to just ignore it and focus more on the important aspects of her visit, which I am sure I shall find out sooner rather than later.

She stood up straight, well as much as a quadruped can of course but…bla bla bla time waster.

“Anyway, I came here for a very important and urgent report your highness.” Susi began while I was once again busy in trying to prevent Penelope over here from ruining yet another shirt of mine.

I still fondly remember how she managed to chew through the royal attire that NOT Karl Lagerfeld made for me before my first public speech. I of course showed it to him and even requested him to make a dozen copies of those just to keep myself stocked.

But that only lead to a massive existential epic proportion. Causing him to faint a couple of times on a single sitting, and almost forcing me to lose both my lunch and dinner if it wasn’t for my army of personal servants to wonderfully bring me both my lunch and dinner to NOT Karl Lagerfeld’s studio in the noble district right next to the Palace.

These guys can be some real life savers, f they aren’t so keen on constantly trying to ask me if their wasn’t “anything else” they could serve me with.

Those swaying tails don’t lie, and neither do those nervous sounding or eager tones when asking me such questions.

I am surrounded by horny little…

“Your highness…have you heard as to what I just said?” Susi asked which again brought me back to the stressful and rude reality of…well…reality.

“What? Uh, nope sorry I was spaced out there for a moment. Per usual, as you should know.” I replied casually while still trying to keep Penelope away from my right sleeve.

Which by the way, was already half way from being chewed off, thanks to Penelo's ever growing teeth and stronger jaws.

Darn, this was my favorite copy shirt number 39. I will forever remember you number 39, same with 23, 12, and 52.

Susi on the other hand just sighed. “Well…as I just said, I came here to personally inform you on the report that two of the 6 batches of Zebra guards have unfortunately made contact with the enemy a lot earlier than planned, which in turn forced them to confront this changeling force alone, or rather be forced to confront them as the changelings attacked them according to the reports. Thankfully our guards managed to hold on just long enough for reinforcements to finally arrive and managed to force the changeling army to retreat deeper into the cave with the just arriving changelings and guards hot in perused. Though what the overall damage and casualty ratings were is still unknown to us. Which is also leads me to the second reason as to why I have personally been seeking you out your highness as Palmyria was requesting for your presence as well back in the dining room. I would say that she has a lot more detailed information at her hooves then I can personally provide. I am not a military expert or personal sadly.” Susi explained pretty much on one go.

Not on one breathe mind you, but more without me blanking out in the middle of it or getting interrupted by something else. Either by me or by some random event that usual likes to show its ugly face whenever something important is being said or done.

Because that is how life works, or rather at least around me and most likely only around me…right?

Either way, I just nod, before giving Penelope on my arm a quick simple glare before the rest of my right sleeve can be made un-reversible.

“Well, yes, yes of course. If the little changelings princess wishes to converse with me then who am I to deny her request.” I replied, before realizing just exactly on what I just said and grinning to myself thanks to said realization. “What I am talking about? I am the freaking king after all. I can be as late or tardy as I want. I am the freaking king, aren't I?” I announced loudly with a large maniacal smile on my features.

Again exercising, or rather announcing the OP status I have and just how far I am willing to just abuse the ever living shit out of it…when I feel like it…in a reasonable way of course… towards my peoples and allies.

To my enemies? Well the cards tend to be quite limitless in those regards.

Well, Susi was not particularly impressed, mostly worried. But she knew what she needed to focus on to keep this train from wrecking itself. Good for her, because trains are expensive after all. All of them.

“Well uhm…yes. But anyway, follow me your highness and I can personally take you to Princess Palmyria herself. She has been waiting for you for gods knows long.” Susi announced before making her way to the door.

I of course followed, because why not. Keeping close behind the traditionally dressed mare in front of me in all of her white robed glory and a healthy amount of bling in all the right places.

“So, what exactly have you been working on after you decided to take a nap inside you dress closet… If you don’t mind me asking, your highness.” Susi suddenly questioned along the way.

I just smiled before pulling out a random piece of paper that I just remembered I had inside my pajamas and handed it to her.

“Actually, I was working on some expansion plans for the city. You know, like, drawing out new districts, lining up some new walls and sketching up a new set of aqueducts and canals to compensate this expansion. Not just for the newly panned districts and moved farming fields further out from their original locations, but to also add them for the old city as well. Improving both the access of fresh water for the populace and the already improving the already existing plumbing even further. Overall, making the city bigger and better to live in at the upcoming further. All those new Zebra’s and potential changelings residence need a place to live and work after all. The current infrastructure of the city is not really capable of handling that as it is sadly.” I replied, also in a single and uninterrupted move, which is just a bit strange giving my usual chain of events or distractions.

Either way, Susi over here was firmly impressed by my words, before she took a look at my offered piece of paper and just looked at it with total confusion.

“Those…those are just some really rough drawn out lines and some crudely written words which I can’t understand.” She replied still looking at the schematics I made.

I shrugged “Well there is a reason why I decided to take a quick nap after climbing into the closet.” I replied, taking the drawing back and putting in somewhere within my pajamas to forget about it later.

Besides that, the trip over to the dining hall was casual and uneventful. Which is strange, given the usual shit that likes to happen around me on an almost daily basis. First the two long and uninterrupted speeches, and now this. I am certain that something will happen sooner or later, but what that might be is obviously still a mystery, and to be honest, has always been since the very moment I was conscious enough to be conscious.

Like when I was around 3 years old and so, which I can confirm with almost picture perfect lucidity. Whatever that meant I don’t know, but didn’t matter anyway as this simply gave me the chance to kill off some time and eventually find myself right in front of the dining halls door without even me noticing it.

But one thing was curtain, somebody needed to open this almost 10 meter tall door and allow us entry into the great beyond that lies behind its wooden frame.

Luckily, that job quickly fell over to the Palace guard’s station right in front of them. Pushing open the doors for us and bowing their heads as usual.

Some things will never change it seems, even though I have stated numerous times that my Castle doors don’t swing that way, and even if they did I would still be held back by my racist agendas to really do anything. I prefer humanoids over feral’s after all.

You cannot beat boobs that are located on somebody's chest, and not the crotch area like on most of these four leggers.

Once inside, both me and Susi over here where immediately greeted by both Palm Tree and a random looking changeling which I have never seen before. Though despite that, this changeling still managed to stick out somewhat, especially towards the run of the mill changeling I have mostly seen so far that are no Princess or Cyrus related.

This ling actually sported a form or markings or tattoos that snaked its way all through the back of her head and down to her neck. Most likely going even further if the small cloak on her back wasn’t covering her…well… back.

Besides that, she was also sporting her own set of bling on her changeling ears, which is a nice touch. Overall a bit of a rarity so far, though still looking like your typical changeling from afar, with her boldness and lack of pupils.

The princess smiled as she approached us from the other side of the table.

“Thank the foremothers that you are finally here, your highness. I have been personally requesting for you presence for quite a while now, with great urgency.” Palmy greeted before giving me a short bow.

I mimicked her, giving off a small bow as well in return. We are both royalty and leaders of our respective nations after all. I may be a manchild, a madman, and sometimes a total asshole for selfish fun, but I am of course not THAT selfish. I know when to act, quote/unquote “normal” when the need arises and when to revert myself back to my old self to keep everybody around on their toes on a physiological level.

Or tips of their hooves for that matter. Right now, I have only been conversing with creatures all related to a hooved family. Minus the gryphons but those don’t count because they were trying to kill me the moment I showed myself.

Plus it was a while back too, so it really doesn’t count anymore.

After the formalities where done I quickly decided to get straight to be point, which the princess must have thought so as well before she started to gesture a hoof towards the newcomer behind her before I could even get a word out.

See, I knew that the uninterrupted flow is going to get interrupted eventually.

“My I introduce you to Shimmer, one of the fastest flyers and most nimble flyer I know off. She may seem like a normal drone at first glance, but I can promise you that she is far from that. All thanks of the heritage she shares with her foremothers and forefathers. Both known for their flying skill and talents of being excellent scouts and infiltrators in the past. Or at least, that’s what the records described them to be…the last time I checked.” Palmy introduced, which in turn forced the aforementioned ling bow his or hers head respectively at me after the introduction where done.

“It is an honor to meet you in person, your highness. As the princess has stated, my name is Shimmer, and I am going to act as your personal messenger and spy if your highness accepts my offer.” The changeling greeted, or rather stated. Sounding quite feminine from her voice alone and making her sex even more distinct when I notice the now very obvious looking eyelashes on her…well eyes and the somewhat slender body she had. Similar to Palmy in fact.

In fact, do all changeling females have such obvious and slanders body forms?

In fact, it’s not just them. All equine looking races (and also the Gazelles) have such characteristic features of sex appeal. Mystic, Steppes, and even Susi if she isn’t covering herself with those robes of hers. All of them share the same type of hips and rears that pop out quite distinctly for pure sex appeal.

Those lucky stallions and males of this land, but utterly horrible for me if they are all bending over me and demanding me to see their “full moons”.

Again, morals and also a healthy dose of “guarding the children” and a little bit of racism are what are holding me back, both mentally and certainly physically too. Because as I said before, I prefer my boobs on chest and not on the area close to their hind legs.

I have standards of course, and those standards must be uphold in order to keep this story as family friendly as possible, while still also offering enough mature content.

Well, we just have to wait and see I guess, and also see in just how far my morals are willing to take me in regards to every female in the nation trying to get into my pants or bedchambers.

For both credit, and bragging right to friends. Or in Palmies case, diplomatic reasons.

Also did I said story, silly me.

Either way, Shimmer afterwards was looking back up at me with waiting eyes and great expectations as she awaiting my answer of her offer.

I on the other hand looked over at Palmy for any confirmations on her offers, in which she nods before smiling and gesturing back at her.

“She was actually the one who flew all the way from the caverns down below and to report on the happenings and ongoing actions which are and have been made as we speak. I know for a fact that she also shares a healthy fascination with the surface world as well when I first helped her, and a few others escape to the surface world in order to make a possible new life up there far away from the tyrannical chaos of my mother’s rule.” She paused for a moment as she looked down onto the floor. “Well actually…we now know that part of her insanity and will is due to the part of a magical idol she has been using to receive all the magical prowess she needed to take control of my grandmother’s throne in the first place. But…” She looked back up with a more determined look. “…even without its corruption, I know for a fact that she would have still been heavily authoritarian in her rule. She has always been highly ambitious, as far as I can remember. So overall her ways had to be brought down eventually. A well working and functioning hive can’t only work off of the wealth and influence of the nobility alone, which my mother heavily favored to keep her powers and plans for expansion into motion. But…that is clearly a story for another time.” She sighed before looking back at the changeling mare next to her, again with a smile.

“Anyway as I said, she has also been very fascinated with the surface world just like me. So I gave her permission to offer her expertise to you, as I am sure you would have needed her talents than I do. You are the one trying to rebuild an empire from its ruins after all, I on the other hoof am more concern with my changeling’s safety and continuous growth. Under your protection and good will of course… haven’t forgotten the deal I made with you in order to help me free the changelings from her madness.” She finally finished, again with a sigh.

To say that I was impressed with this would have been an understatement. Once more, a long and drawn out explanation and exposition was taking place, and yet again nothing has tried to fuck it up, or stop it with some ridiculous reason or event.

This day is strange…too normal for my taste.

Maybe I can fix that, with the most inappropriate question imaginable. Also shit for brains, and a serious case of boredom.

“Wait, before we proceed?” I announced which did the trick and getting everyone’s attention.

Because how could it not?

I looked over at my new “spy” and pointed a finger at her. “You, I need to know. Are you also going to try and court me for either personal gain, general horniness, or simply for bragging rights where you can go to your friends as say…” I did the best girl impression I could muster. “…oh girls, guess what? I just had his highness’ schlong deep inside of me and it felt absolutely amazing. His life giving essence is now slouching inside of me. Isn’t that amazing?” I mocked, getting the exact same reaction I was hoping to get.

Shock, surprise, embarrassment and maybe even a hidden feeling of wishful longing from one of these three. Either way, their expression said it all, wide eyes, opened mouth and visible blushes on their cheeks which can’t lie.

Shimmer especially has been taking the full brunt of my suggestion. She was more green around her cheeks then a recently washed cabbage on a market stand.

Because changeling blood is green, not red with most mammal.

“Wh-wha-wha-what? N-no, why…why would I do that I…” Shimmer stuttered, backpedaling a bit with her tail suspiciously hugging tight against her flank, right in between her hind legs.

I just pressed my lips together and frown. “Simply, because I know for a fact that you changelings feed on both love and affection. I learned this truth from a certain other spy of your nation who ended up to be completely intoxicated when I openly declared in just how adorable he looked when I first met your kind. Which still holds true for the rest of you, those fangs, those horns, those almost completely black exterior and otherworldly design. It’s just so metal and adorable at the same time. Brilliant.” I declared with a raised finger and an equally raised mouth.

“Your kind is a danger to my morality.” I quickly added, before looking back at the mare.

She was of course still speechless, same with the rest as they all looked at me with those big eyes.

Thankfully, this didn’t last long as poor little shimmer over here was eventually the first one to regain the use of her voice which was still a bit stuttery, but also an improvement compared to her previous words.

“Well…uhm…No I would…I would never ask something of that towards you, your highness…I…I am just a simple changeling after all, not worthy of…well…such a honor in…being your mate…”She paused for a bit, before looking off to the side with her blush deepening dangerously. “Though if you…desire me to do otherwise…then…then who am I to deny you’re…”I quickly stopped her right here.

“No,nononononono NO. I don’t want to hear the rest. This is enough. I know what you were about to suggest, and frankly your weren’t the first to do so. I already have enough servants around me who are just asking me the same thing, or rather hinting at that with their body language. Trying to “please” their king in any way they can. Even though I made it very clear many times that I am far from interested, not to mention lacking the time as well. I am the freaking king, I don’t have the leisure of allowing myself to partake in the all so common ritual that is the miracle of life. I got a world to conquer.” I declared, before a grin formed around me lips. “And cheese to collect.” I added, again raising my finger in the air and striking a dramatic pose to coincide with my open declaration for world domination and cheese collecting. Something a lot of previous world conquers back in my world have totally missed out on besides getting all the gold, resources and women for them to bang.

I am here to fix this flaw of course, getting everything I just listed above AND collecting all of the cheese too…minus the chicks of course, as most of them are going to be animal oriented anyway.

Could this be considered racist? I keep thinking it to be racist but I am of course unsure of that.

Shimmer, on the other hand, finally allowed herself to relax after I made my statement clear to her, through her tail was still firmly pressed against her ass, which could mean so many, many things.

“…ok…that was an unexpected topic.” Palmy asked, after she shook herself off of her frozen state.

Susi on the other hand simply kept silent, as she was a lot more resilient towards my unexpected questions in comparison to these two. She was actually the first one to recover while I was focused more on the two changeling females in front of me to even notice.

Thankfully, things eventually returned back to normal which was quite productive, even better, it was also the time where I started to realize that I have forcing myself to keep standing around on one spot when I could have easily taken a seat long ago. A realization made even truer when my legs finally started to feel cramped and sore. I am not very good at standing still for so long, especially having a hefty passenger munching on my arm.

“Wait, before we finally get back on track, let us first sit down and allow yourself to take a well-deserved breather from that delightful shock and surprise you all just witnessed. Penelope over here isn’t exactly getting lighter and my arm is starting to cramp up from carrying her so long. A seat, as kingdom for a seat I tell ya.” I suggested before causally making my way to the closest chair on the large and very circular dining table.

“Well shit, this is what I get from not focusing my attention on Penelope for a while carrying her on my arm. Now my entire right sleeve is gone because of it. Note to self, need to her some hard beef jerky or anything else to chew on besides my identical looking shirts. I may be rich, but that still doesn’t mean that I can make money grown on trees to compensate for her destructive nature towards my well established dress codes. Wait…can I actually make money grow in trees in the first place?” I wondered before sitting myself down and sighted in satisfaction for finally allowing my legs the rest they deserved.

The rest of the gang soon followed suit, with Palmy taking a seat to my left while Susi took hers on the right. Only Shimmer was the one who didn’t immediately respond to the new change of locations as she was still somewhat rooted to the same spot from where we left her. Though that was understandable, given the emotional, mental, and perhaps physical turmoil she just went through.

Though in the end, she simply cached on before allowing herself to be standing right behind the princess’s seat with her tail still tucked in between her legs.

I guess I managed to activate something within her, but then again it’s none of my concern and certainly none of my needed interest as well. I have made it clear numerous times that I am not interested in a harem.

Though besides that, I still have a couple of questions to ask her later.

But that obviously has to wait, as Palmy here was ready to finally reveal her part of the meetings reason, besides gifting me a changeling mare who is either secretly a horny bitch, or a virgin who doesn’t know any better. Judging by her previous reaction.

“Anyway, Princess, the reports?” Susi questioned, basically doing my job for me…which is exactly for what I am paying her to do.

Yes, I am paying everyone apparently. I know, even I haven’t been aware of that. But apparently, someone within the finance division does all the taxes and arranging all the payments for the guards and palace stuff respectively.

Who that individual is, I don’t know, but what I do know is that this mare or stallion truly deserves a raise for his or her outstanding work in basically doing my work and giving me even more free time then I already have to fuck about and make everyone around me frustrated by my lack of focus and or seriousness.

A troll is never satisfied.

“Oh yes, the reports. Almost forgot about those.” She sheepishly replied before swiftly collecting her thoughts. Only for Shimmer to tap her on the shoulder, which in turn caused her to realize something.

“Oh yes…uh, she actually holds all of the information you need while also being able to explain it better than I could in the first place. I mean, she was the one who told me the news in the first place, but…uhm…” She swiftly added, before just trailing off once more and forcing herself to shut her mouth.

Guess my overall chaotic influence has reached her too. Good, because if she really wants to merge our two nation together then she better starts getting use to my overall antic, unorthodox ways and general randomness that I am famed for.

I want a working kingdom sure, but I also want those occupying my court to know how to have a good time and chillaxing when the opportunity presents itself.

An empire run by Jamaican weed smoking hippies is my kind of an empire. Everything will be so relaxed and far less stressful. Also cheese for everyone.

Anyway, Shimmer eventually pulled out a large scroll from under her cloak and handed it to me. I of course took it, opened it, and frowned, much to the changeling’s confusion before handing it back to her to increase that confusion.

“Can’t read this shit.” I simply replied.

This caused Shimmers brain to crank up a sense of realization before she blushed.

“Well…uhm anyway. I have personally written down everything noteworthy onto this scroll, both the events and casualty numbers for the battle that took place down there. But to simply start with reports, the battle itself was a resounding success for two of your forces but not without having suffered some very heavy casualties thanks to the Obsidian guards magic that more or less managed to scourge a large number of them before the real engagement could start.” Shimmer read out, which in turned caused Susi to gasp.

“Magic? But…but their nethicide encrusted shields should have protected them form that. It has been demonstrated so far that these stone are capable of either negating magic or absorbing it outright. How could this be?” She shouted, basically openly asking the same question I was about to ask.

Well, a lot less loud of course.

Shimmer lowered her head. “Well, that’s just the thing…apparently to the survivors account the crystal DID do they jobs. Which is why so many were able to get through the assault unscathed in the first place, even though many of them immediately perished as well at the same time.” She replied, frowning in sadness before lifting her head once again.

“Apparently, these magic negating crystals have their limits. Even more evident when it was reported that every Obsidian guard present at the battle combined their spell for one devastating strike. I mean…here, see for yourself…”She added, before shoving her hoof back into her mantle and re-emerging it again with a de-colored and heavily cracked nethicide crystal resting on its surface.

Again Susi gasped and I was even more intrigued then I was before. Apparently she was right and the crystals really head their upper limits in just how much magic they can actively absorbed at any giving time.

Both bad and good to know at the same time.

“Well, this certainly changes the playing field.” I commented, before taking the cracked crystal into my hand and expecting it closer. Penelope of course trying to reach it with her stubby little claws which I of course, denied her from.

“Not this one Penelo. This one is filled with bad changeling magic. But don’t worry, I will get you some gems to snack on later. After this meeting that is, so you better behave, and stop trying to get me topless with your constant chewing. We have ladies present here.” I told her, which made her go “gaga” as a response before clapping her claws.

I smiled, which was sadly immediately halted by reality.

“We certainly need to tell this to both the Captain and the Royal Smith as well. This needs to be made common knowledge to prevent such discoveries from ever happening again.” Susi suggested, which I could only nod too.

“One at a time Susi, let’s not overstretch ourselves.” I answered before placing the broken gem onto the table before looking back at the changeling mare in front of me.

“Anything else?” I questioned which in turn made her nod.

“Well yes. For starters, the rest of your forces alongside their changeling allies have started to peruse the retreating enemies to keep on the pressure apparently.” She replied before switching to another section of the scroll and stopping there. “Furthermore, I was also given a mental account on the status of the group which is tasked in penetrating the hive city itself. According to Farries, he and the rest actually made it to the hidden entrance at an abandoned section of the city after this mental message was sent towards me. They might already be inside as we speak, doing the thing that they are supposed to do.” She added forcing me to raise an eyebrow.

“Wait, so you don’t personally know exactly what they are doing down there? Like, what their actual operation is?” I questioned, obviously taking note the lack of detail on the last part.

She shook her head. “Sadly no, and probably for a good reason too. Might run the risk of a few loyalist nearby to listen in to our brief mental link and learn all of the details. Even worst, the queen herself might actually be able to pick it as well. When it comes to creating or listening into mental links, a queen is more a less a master in those arts. If she bothers to, that is.” She added, which does kinda sound plausible and a very good reason as to why she wasn’t given any detail information about their status.

“Well, better than nothing I guess,” Susi commented, once again much to my behalf and satisfaction.

“That is all, or rather the onesthat are of the most interest that is” She replied before rolling up the scroll.

“Actually, might I have the scroll please? The language itself might be foreign to us, but it still pays greatly to have a physical, written document and account. Both for study and the sake of storing history for future generations.” Susi kindly requested while holding out a hoof.

Shimmer nods before handing her the scroll. “Well yes of course. I was planning on giving this scroll to his imperial highness anyway. Until he…”She looked back at me with a sheepish smile. “…gave it back to me for not being able to read it…I am saying this with the utmost respect of course.” Added, making me wave my hands at her to assure her that everything was fine.

Seriously, I had WAY worst, and incredibly salty insults thrown at me than this.

This, this is basically comparable to a random comment someone makes on a casual and almost daily basis in comparison to the downright uncivil, bigot, and heretic driven words or sentences I have been offered over my lifetime.

Anyone who has played any competitive online multiplayer game will know what I am talking about. Sentences and world combination which can only be find in these online communities and seriously no place else.

The wonderful wonders of the internet, and it’s also quite amazing just how creative some of these peoples can get when their jimmies have been seriously rustled beyond ironing.

No amount of ironing is going to get these fold out, even with the use of a hydraulic press. Which I am sure is going to break sooner before any of these uneven surfaces will ever do.

I am just getting off the rails again aren’t I?

Either way, Susi smiled thankfully towards the little changeling next to me while holding the scroll on her hoof.

She gave the piece of scribble note a few more educated looks before suddenly jumping off her over designed cushion chair and trotting off with it. Looking over her shoulder towards me as she did so.

“It would be wise to transfer this over to Akunezzar for study and safekeeping before handing its information to both the Captain and the Smith about this very important, and sadly uncalled for discovery. Are you coming as well your highness?” She stated, before stopping in front of the door and looking at me patiently.

I waved her off. “No, no. No need for that. I mean, what the hell could I possible add to this conversation without mindlessly adding some useless filler into it which of course would just derail the conversation from the actual problem. You will be better off without me Susi. Just make sure to tell Aku that I would like to see him in either big couch room or in my private chambers so that we can officially start the conversation about expanding the city beyond its current walls. Preferably with some actual architects and engineers present so that I can kill two birds with one stone. I always hated having to repeat myself in a conversation. Reminiscent to my grandpa’s terrible hearing during my younger days, and just how many times I had to repeat myself for him in a casual conversation. That, or I was talking quietly to him on purpose, which might have sabotaged my own efforts.” I responded, or rather rambled. Getting my point of pointless filler across and giving me a little flashback of my childhood days which were just maniacally seizure inducing colors as the life I am living right about now.

Susi on the other hand just nods her head awkwardly at my long and drawn out splash of verbal gas. “Well…ok. I shall give him the massage then when I meet him at the council.” She responded before cantering her ass off to the same place she just mentioned.

How to exactly get to said place from here by myself is a mystery in itself entirely. All I know is that it is located somewhere the east side of the compound without having to worry about path findings.

It doesn’t matter just how long I will spend my time here inside this over justified bragging right of an estate, I am sure I will always have problems navigating this large piece of shit of an strategically designed maze no matter how much I try.

This place needs a GPS, or at the very least a guide…which I basically have one waiting at each corner, though the problems with that is I never really managed to realize it before it’s too late to do so. Plus, I like adventuring, and what better way to pretend to be Indiana Jones then to just aimlessly wander through the old palace halls and to see where exactly these corridors will lead me too.

I mean who knows, maybe Atlantis was destined to be undiscoverable back in my world at the first place, and because it somehow got its ass zapped over here in the same way I got beamed down on this planet. By some random dude existing his home through the back door and taking a whole civilization along with it. An idea which could easy be…

“Is…is his majesty alright? Is he always doing this Princess?” I heard Shimmer say while a hoof was waving in and out of existence in front of me.

Penelope actually trying to catch it with her claws but failing miserably of course.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I haven’t know him that long to be absolutely sure anyway.” I heard Palmiry respond, which in turn forced me back into the realms of reality proper and out of my never-ending flaw of internal monologue.

I should seriously start writing a book about this. But the fact that I know have to use a simple scroll and an ink tipped feather to do it is really just killing my mood in actually doing so.

I miss my keyboard. So much shit posting was done with that which I can’t even actively count on my finger…because duh, I have only ten of them.

Either way, as I said, I returned myself to the realms of the living to address these two worrisome fillies and they needs to be relevant for this story.

I suddenly smiled and raised a finger in a very quick succession. Which of course surprised both mares next to me in just how sudden and forced it actually was.

“Well, actually, yes, yes this IS pretty a normal thing for me. Just thought to finally let you all in on that. Especially if you-”I pointed at Shimmer respectively, “-want to be my personal humming bird from this day forth. Because someone like you needs to casually understand my unorthodox and crazy orders to complete them to the letter…or not complete them to the letter, because keeping the enemy guessing my intentions is another way to do your job for me. Deception is half the war after all, and I am a dedicated expert on that.” I replied, going off the rail again like how I always do just for the shits and giggles and wasting everyone’s most valuable and un-reversible commodity.

Time. Because I am an A grade troll.

“Well uhm…ok. I guess I should personally make my way over to the council chamber as well to educate myself a bit on the politics of your nation, your highness. If you will excuse me, I shall meet with you again at a later date.” Susi obviously excused herself in a very guessable and obvious way that you could cut the obviousness with a knife and marvel at the fact that you could actually do it.

This pretty much left me with Shimmer, and a very babbling, friendly infant on my arm that just loves to eat everything I like to wear.

Speaking of Shimmer, now that she has basically dedicated herself towards my services and little interview and tour through her new work environment is in order.

That, and just how far I can mentally push her before reaching her breaking point.

I grinned down towards her which she quickly noticed. “Tell me, how old are you really?” I started, which in turn made her ears go limp against her skull.

I think she knows what is about to happen to her. Well good for her at least that means that she is capable of learning fast. Which is more or less needed for someone who is going to be working as my personal informant.

Let’s see how green a changeling can get around their cheeks…and wherever else.

Chapter 30: A lone Doe in an underground world

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 31: Path of the Idol

Edited by: The Great Khan

“By the way, may I ask what your name and race is? I first thought that you were maybe a Zebra, but looking at your color, hooves and horns, I don’t think that’s the case. Sorry if that offends you.” The changeling suddenly asked as the two continued their trek through the tunnels.

“Geeze, ‘you think.’” Mystic retorted before grumbling. “Fine…for your information, I’m a Gazelle. Hailing from the Savanna steppes far to the south, and my name isn’t particularly important for you to know. I just need to reach the air vent shafts you were talking about before, and then we can simply go our separate ways. So there really is no need for you to know my name.” She answered while keeping her gaze fixed on the changeling ahead.

He may be helping her, but that still doesn’t mean that she can fully trust him. Heck, she sometimes doesn’t even trust the members of her own race, given the rather heavy combative nature around those few magically gifted Gazelles that exist within her tribe. Not to mention those from other tribes, too.

Being born with the natural gift of magic is both a blessing and a curse. Not only are you precious, but you are also given high expectations from everybody else, especially the tribe elders and her own father.

A type of expectation she always hated.

Either way, the changeling sighed, before focusing back at the task at hoof.

He eventually looked back over his shoulder. “Banook.”

“What?”

“Banook is my name. Just wanted you to know, in case you still need someone to escort you back to the surface world. A lot of changelings I know are rather distrustful with surface dwellers, so you won’t really find much help when trying to approach them. I on the other hoof, believe in the nature of goodwill, and have no problems helping those in need, even those hailing from the surface. It’s…it’s just something I like to do.” The now named Banook explained, before focusing back ahead of him.

Mystic tilted her head. “Oh, is that so? Why exactly is it that you feel this way, huh? Especially when the rest of your peers don’t. It’s normally pretty natural for you to mimic the ideas and behaviors of other around you. So what the heck makes you so different compared to others?” Mystic asked, sounding just as suspicious and unconvinced as her expression.

Banook shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just a unique perk I have, I guess. My uncle had the same philosophy in fact, mostly thanks in being enlisted as a guard, and being stationed at the surface world for most of his days to simple keep an eye on few of the entrances that lead into the hive. I guess…I kind of inherited a large part of his character into me; seeing everyone as equals and not just as a race. Strange, but true.” He again explained.

Mystic was rather perplexed by this. Not just of his reasoning, but of his uncle. A military personal who is tolerant to all races and nations besides his own? Strange, and certainly something new. Usually soldiers are only loyal to the country or race they hail from. That’s what their trainers or other higher-ups drill them for: To only see allies among themselves and not anyone else.

A truly commendable characteristic of his uncle, whoever he was.

But she kept the thought to herself. No need to dig deeper when she has other things to focus on. Plus, she most likely was never going to see this particular changeling again after his deed was done, or rather, if she was going to live another day to do so.

She won’t kid herself, it didn’t matter if these changelings were only half as decent in both combat and magic as Cyrus and Farries made them out to be; she was still going to be in a world of trouble if she ever got caught by even a few of them. Numbers are a very potent advantage after all, and no matter how good she thought she was, she could never stave off that many changelings all at once, or for an extended period of time.

So again; stealth would be her main priority to keep the bugs away from her.

“Here we are.” Banook announced as he suddenly stopped.

“Here where?” Mystic responded while looking around.

The somewhat moody lighting of the tunnels made it rather difficult to see a couple of meters past where you stood, not to mention how the damp air and tight space of the dug out tunnels was making her feel somewhat claustrophobic. She was an animal of the steppes, not someone who liked crawling around underground.

“We’re here.” Banook again stated before lighting up his horn.

His magic quickly enveloped a large rock sticking from the wall, and after a few pulls and turns, the large bolder quickly loosened, revealing a sudden stream of light and a nice cool breeze of air. Mystic was even forced to shield her eyes at the sudden change of light.

“Well, the ventilation shaft, of course. This one was accidentally opened when some of my comrades where digging out this tunnel secretly, leading up towards another large cave and from there, up to the surface. But anyway, these ventilation shafts go pretty much all over the inner sanctums of the hive; going everywhere and anywhere. So if you need to be sneaky and keep yourself away from any prying eyes or ears, this is the method of doing it. Many nymphs have actually used these shafts to reach their parents on the other side. So, they are indeed navigable. If you can fit through them, that is.”

This caused mystic to step up to the opening to peer through. She had to admit, is did look somewhat cramp inside. But one of the major bonuses she could deduct was the fact that it was surprisingly bright and cool inside, the latter being obvious, but the former was just a little bit more intriguing. Because some parts of the walls had some of those magically glowing crystals jutting out from them, giving these tunnels all the light they needed for a surface dweller like her.

“A tight squeeze, but it should suffice.” Mystic stated as she evaluated the smooth, white stone shaft.

“You sure? Your horn might get into the way, especially against those tiny crystals jutting out from the walls and ceiling.” Banook asked.

Mystic nods. “Yeah don’t worry, I’m quite flexible.” She stated before climbing through the square space. Her horns barely grazing the ceiling above her. She knew that her main method of pushing forward at this point would be with her front hooves, elbows and knees. Which was fine, as she had done something like this many times before when she and Little Steppes were little.

Sneaking in and out from the storage huts to sneak out some honey or tree syrup.

Those memories made her smile for just a little bit, before she quickly focused back on the task at hoof as she steadily crawled herself forward.

“Good luck outsider, you’re sure going to need it.” Mystic could hear Banook call after her as she slowly, but surely increased the distance between herself and him. Minding some of the shining crystal jutting out from the walls.

“Luck? Well maybe, maybe I do need a bit of luck to get through this.” She thought to herself as she continued her trek.

Having crawled like this as a fawn was fine, but now as an adult it was obviously a lot harder than it should have been. But then again, crawling back now to rethink her plans would have been impossible at this point, given the incredibly tight nature of these shafts, which made turning around almost impossible. She couldn’t even move her head from side to side, thanks to her horns.

Whether she liked it or not, she was pretty much committed at this point.

After a while, Mystic eventually crawled herself to the first fork in the road. With one tunnel leading somewhere left, while the other was leading somewhere to the right. A choice needed to be made now, a choice which would either lead her closer to, or further from her goals.

Mystic turned her head from left to right and back, mentally contemplating her choices, while also trying to remember the layout she saw from the hive so far.

Her senses where telling her to turn left, but thanks to the crystals, she could also see that the left shaft was eventually going to bend further upwards at the end of the way. She obviously wasn’t sure where the path would lead her from there, but it was still a much better bet to make then picking the right path instead. Again, she had to make a choice now or be stuck at whatever section of the hive these air vents where taking her.

She eventually got an idea. “Wait, these air vents go pretty much anywhere around the hive, right? If that’s the case, then the added draft and the overall connection of these shafts must mean that I could…” Mystic told to herself before she quickly decided giving her idea a try.

She lifted her nose, taking a few tentative sniffs of the passing gusts going past her and concentrating. Wherever she could smell the most changelings in one place would certainly be the area where the Queen must be. And by that extent, the Idol perhaps as well. If that works, then she could easily rely more on her nose than her magical senses.

She nodded to herself. “I think I got a trail. Great, just need to follow it and hope that I don’t come out where there’s a swarm of changeling guards. So, left it is.” She told herself, before continuing her crawl at the aforementioned direction.

Turning corners in the cramped spaces was thankfully a lot more manageable then she originally thought. Well, that is, until one of the sharp crystal sliced through her left flank and made her cringe.

So much for a simple crawl to her goal.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“So, what are we doing now?” Farries asked as he and the rest of the gang looked down at a band of changeling guards which they had just recently surprised and bound.

Not killed, of course, as these were still their own kin despite their allegiance to the mad queen. Plus, being stealthy themselves was a priority as well. Which meant no visible blood trails, corpses, and certainly no noise created by a fight. Plus, they could also use them for information, to get intel on enemy movements and to hopefully get the whereabouts of the Queen herself, so that they could avoid her at first before eventually confronting her once Cyrus had managed to acquire the first piece they need to challenge a changeling Queen themselves. Something which was part of this plan this entire time.

“Simple,” Cyrus answered after he put the finishing touches on the last captive. “We need to get to the royal archives, asap. One very important tome is located somewhere within its vast library of collected knowledge. An ancient book which can actually help us to defeat the Queen directly and neutralize her by stripping her of her own magical powers. Or at least, that is what Palmyria wished for me to do instead of just going for the quick and less complicated method, and to be honest, I kinda have to agree with her on that front. Plus, she is still the Queen, and the mental and magical link to all changelings nearby. We obviously can’t just kill her, unless that role is being properly transferred to Palmyria instead. Furthermore…” Cyrus stopped for a bit. “…she also doesn’t want her to be killed regardless of her actions. She is still her mother after all, and she wouldn’t be able to live it down if she was killed by her own orders. Restraining her and allowing the princess to confront her own mother to steal the role from her would be the best option at this point. Plus, it would also make everything a lot easier to fix and process once this problem has been dealt with. We got to keep our future in mind, after all.” Cyrus explained.

Farries sighed. “So true, but even so, what about the missing Gazelle we have at out hooves here…or rather not, as she is sneaking around heavens knows where? She’s most likely going to cause some form of trouble, given her attitude.” Farries questioned, to which the captain could only nod too.

“Perhaps, but you know very well that she has her own mission to perform, don’t you? To find her peoples idol and end the effects it seems to be having for those too close to it. If she is to be believed, then she is the only one capable of getting close enough to it without falling to its corruption. That’s actually what I’m personally hoping for, so that we might not get affected by the horrible whispers it seems to produce when we get close; something I’m sure would be disastrous for all of us.” Cyrus again explained before switching his gaze over to the halls.

“I think we better get moving, then. As long as the hives attention is fixated on the advancing Zebra guards up front, it will be easier for us to reach the archives and find the hidden tome that was used by Palmyria’s ancestors to usurp the previous dynasty before hers. If we can make use of its text once more, taking down the current Queen should be swift. Or at least, that’s the idea.” Cyrus announced before taking the lead further down the hall.

Both Farries and Rakash nodded before following the old noble further down, with the rest of their small force not far behind. Continuing their trek further into the belly of the beast to reach the treasure at the end of it.

This treasure being the aforementioned tome which Cyrus had just named.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Ugh…how long does this vent shaft go? I’m starting to get claustrophobic in here. Where in the god’s name is the next exit?” Mystic openly self-complained as she continued to push herself through the tight square-shaped shafts that she had been crawling through for gods know how long.

She was actually kind of right, though. She had pretty much been doing nothing but crawling through the stone carved vents for an unknown passage of time, and was getting her coat scratched and punctured along the way thanks to some of the shining crystals sticking out of the rocky walls and ceilings of the vents. The number of instances where her horns were also getting caught in these crystalline formations was just ridiculous on its own, and was maddening to Mystic.

She just hoped that she hadn’t scratched up her precious horns too much thanks to the stupid things, otherwise she might blow a fuse in here, and giving the idea of being subtle a big fat ‘middle finger,’ as the crazy-sounding king once said.

Why she was remembering that specific phrase was beyond her. But she could certainly agree that its meaning was quite fitting to the situation and frustration she was feeling, while contemplating the idea of just picking the next exit she could find and going completely nuts on the changeling guards that might be blocking her this time. That was actually one of the main reason why she was still stuck inside the blasted vents to begin with, because every exit she had come across so far mostly led into halls, rooms or other places filled with guards or patrols, giving her very little room or incentive to actually exit the vent from there and take her chances.

But now? Now she might actually just pick the next exit she comes across and just thrash her way through if need be. Because now, she was in the perfect mood to do just that. Even more so when she started realizing that these insectoid bucketheads were actually standing in between her and the long-lost idol of her people.

In fact, now that she thought about it even closer, she was pretty pumped to finally put all of her training and private teachings to the test and show these ‘lings how skilled and potent Gazelle Mages of her kind were in the past. Or rather, she’d try and show them, to be more precise. Granted, she had no idea how good Mages from the past were compared to her. Even the Elders didn’t have any specific clues on that front, since all the historical accounts and artifact that told of such a time had either been lost to the ages or were still locked away deep within the impenetrable jungles to the far south; the original homeland of her distant ancestors before their exodus to the northern grassland steppes.

Thinking about this gave her the well-needed respite to steadily calm her nerves and anger. But that still didn’t change the fact that she wanted to get out of these shafts as soon as possible to finally be rid of this burden.

Both her elbows and knees were already sore as well, thanks to their constant grinding against the hard-stone floor beneath her. That's what her strong and hard hooves were normally for, and not her soft-skinned knees and elbows.

“I swear, the next exit point I see is the one I’m taking. I don’t care if the area it leads to is filled with changeling guards, or Savanna rampaging elephants. I am so done with this crawling nonsense and getting myself scratched up by these stupid crystals. I’m getting out, one way or another.” Mystic grumbled to herself once more before the spirits somehow decided to take pity on her plight as they gifted her with the vision of another source of outside light coming from one of the corners in front of her.

Her ears perked up at that. “Yes, finally, another exit at last! Though this time, nothing’s going to stop me from getting the heck out of here and finally stretch my back and legs a bit.” She told herself rather loudly which she didn’t realized. An error that might have bit her in the flank if the exit she was gazing upon around the corner was actually occupied with any changelings this time.

“Well, only one way to find out.” As she crawled closer to the ventilation grill, which she quickly found out during her first encounter with them that they were actually made of either changeling spit or stomach residue.

The stench these grills were still faintly giving off was undeniable. For all the wrong and disgusting reasons. But alas, it is what it is and now she had to somehow smash her way through it without causing too much of a ruckus. Though luckily enough, those levels of subtleness would not be an issue, as the room beyond its barrier was in fact, void of any changelings this time. Especially when she couldn’t smell any of them nearby from where she was.

This might be the lucky break she was waiting for. Not just for the fact that nothing was nearby to even catch her the moment she going to crawls her white tainted butt from the vent shaft, but also for the opportunity of blowing the lid clean off instead of trying to be slow and subtle with it.

And so she did, charging up the gem on her forehead and firing a low powered blast right through the grill and shattering it into a million pieces, giving her the opening she needed to easily crawl through.

Once through, she performed some well needed stretching before allowing herself to look around. That was the initial plan at least, if it wasn’t for the fact that the room she found herself in was actual rather gloomy. But other than that, the room she found herself in looked fairly interesting besides that. It seemed to be some form of a bedroom if she had to guess, but if it was, then this bedroom was certainly one heck of a bedroom. She wasn’t particularly knowledgeable when it comes to room designs, themes or overall class. Thanks to the fact that she, or rather most of her tribe, were living in simple looking huts or tents, which didn’t offer much luxury of course, but at least meant that both building and deconstructing them was fairly quick and easily when it comes to moving along with the migrating herds of the wide open Savanna steppes of her home. But still, judging by the overall size of the room, the decorations it had on the walls and the somewhat large number of stone-made furniture it had lying about, she could guess that this was the room of someone rather important. Or at least some form of well furnished guest room, similar to the ones the crazy Monkey King had in his oversized palace.

Either way, this room was clearly meant for someone with status. Though If that was the case then one question still remind.

“Why is this so dark and moody? I could have sworn that I saw some kind of light coming from beyond the grill just now.” Mystic mumbled to herself as she continued to look around. Squinting her eyes about to room to see if any of the shining but also infernally sharp crystals were anywhere on the walls or ceiling of the room. To her slight confusion, there weren’t any, despite the fact that every hall or room she came across thus far had these light emitting crystals in them. Even the freaking ventilations shafts had them; the most unnecessary place for those things to be.

But alas, this room was void of any natural or unnatural light sources as far as she could tell.

“Blast. Though, it’s certainly still better than the other rooms I came across before this one. I just need to find a door to leave, and I can be on my merry way to either find my path, or guide myself to another damned roadblock.” Mystic stated to herself before she started to trot around the large stone bed in front of her to reach the other end of the room.

Once clearing its length, she could see even within the moody atmosphere that a very large stone door had revealed itself within the right corner of the room. She would have quickly approached it then and there if it wasn’t for both her eyes and her own unhealthy dose of curiosity stopping her from doing so.

What she ended up approaching instead was a simple looking desk carved directly out of the rock wall. Though it wasn’t the desk itself that interested her. Rather, it was in fact the items that were splayed about the desk that urged her curiosity.

Most of these items were foreign to her, but others not so much. Like the well-painted clay figurines of Zebra soldiers; most likely a toys for young Zebras to play with, if she had to guess. Though what mostly interested her were a few items right next to these figures.

“Is that, a horn flute?” She asked herself before picking the object up with her hoof and bringing it up closer to her eyes.

She was immediately surprised. It was, in fact, a horn flute. A flute made of a Gazelles horn which had been either lost in combat, in an accident, or simply fell off from old age. The horns on a Gazelle are socially and culturally very important, no matter what tripe we are talking about. Even when losing a horn, it was tradition to repurpose them for something else. In this case, as an instrument. A very traditional instrument in fact, for either initiations, funeral, or rituals.

Such items were kept very close to their owners. So how something like this ended up so far down here was beyond her. Though, this sizable flute wasn’t the only item related to Gazelle culture on the table. There was also a very recognizable necklace made of colorful stones and a very ornate cut and polished opal within its center.

A sprinter’s gift. A necklace only given to those who have successfully exhausted and then battled an alpha male lion on the open steppes and survived to tell the tale. Basically, a necklace telling those who saw it on a fellow Gazelle that they danced with one of the most powerful predators the Savanna had to offer.

The Zebras, in contrast, would have just killed the majestic beasts outright and be done with it, either with range weapons or in large pairs; acting rather disrespectful to those kings of the steppe. But then again, the Zebras had always been more dominant towards their surroundings and nature at large; always seeking to tame and master the world they inhabited. That in turn had made them more aggressive to their neighbors, even more so than the Gryphons or Minotaurs, depending on who was sitting on the throne. Or at least, that was what history had thought her.

Either way, there was yet again a mystery about how such an important cultural item found itself in changeling hooves so easily. She would have personally loved to take the items with her and bring them back to her people, but the first problem with that was that she couldn’t just allow herself to be burdened by these items as long as she was within enemy territory, and second, those items were meant to be rather personal anyway. Taking them both with her would be rather pointless in a traditional sense.

So overall, it was better to just leave them here and focus more on the task at hoof, and judging by the magical presence she could feel when focusing on the Idols whereabout, she would say that the idol easily took center stage above everything else.

Mystic shook her head and nodded to herself, before striding towards the stone door right next to her and pulling It open with her teeth. It kinda worked, both thankful that is wasn’t locked, and frustrated about how the door was really heavy and making horrible grinding sounds when pulling on it.

But overall, the deed was swiftly done, and the door was finally open enough for her to slip through, thankfully into a much more illuminated hallway which allowed her more light and required her eyes to do their thing. Plus, it didn’t seem that any changelings were here, which was also a big plus.

“Hmmm… it seems the coast is clear. Better capitalize on this while I can.” Mystic thought to herself as she began to exit the room.

She immediately began looking around, turning her head from one end of the large stone hall to the other to truly make sure that the coast was indeed clear.

“Seems clear. I can’t believe that this section seems to be void of any tangible activity. The previous rooms and halls I came across had at least a few changeling guards standing or walking about. Not sure if this is a good thing, or bad thing. Either way, I won’t question this change of luck and just take it for what it is. The Idol feels pretty close now. I can sense it.” Mystic again thought to herself as her gen started to faintly glow at the thought of that Idol.

The only thing she needs to do now is follow its magical signature and avoid any possible encounters with the guards. She may have been in the mood for an open fight earlier, but now that she was calmed down again, that idea had been solidified as a poor choice once more. Not to mention pointless, and rather dangerous on her part. Even more so when there’s a risk of facing multiple opponents at once; something she obviously didn’t need for multiple reasons.

“Anyway, let’s just move. Standing around will get me nowhere and most certainly spotted as well.” She mumbled to herself before doing just that. Picking the right hallway and minding the steps of her hooves, making sure that her steps were light and not as infernally loud as hooves tend to be on stone hard surfaces, something that creature with paws or feet have no problem with.

As Mystic kept going, she couldn’t help but dart her eyes at the overall looks and architecture of these halls as she moved past them. These halls were a lot more decorative and ornamented than the ones she had seen before, with the walls being completely covered in a sea of chiseled markings that looked like hieroglyphs to her than anything else, giving these halls a sense of greater importance than the one she traveled through previously. There were even large banners hanging from the walls and ceilings from time to time. Similar to the hallways of the crazy Monkey King’s palace up above.

This caused her to think.

Which in turn meant that this area Mystic was in, must be some form of palace as well if she had to guess from her own personal knowledge. Then again, she also had no bloody idea why both the Zebras and the changeling really needed THAT much space to begin with. With the changelings she could understand, but with the Zebras, not so much.

Even the temples to their deities were fairly large. Not sure what type of Gods these Zebra worship. But judging by their temples. These gods must be very demanding individuals to require such tall structures. She can’t really say the same of her races ancestor gods. The shrines she had visited before were simple altars within either caves or groves, similar to the graves of their ancestors, being simply carved out of rock walls, without requiring extensive underground complexes like the Zebras have.

Mystic shook her head. “Argh… this is not the time to start mentally comparing cultures and customs. Focus, Mystic, focus! You are literally within enemy territory right about now. This is by far the worst possible moment for you to get side tracked by your surroundings and be consumed by unrelated topics.” She mentally kicked herself before willing her mind back on track and refocus her sense back at the possibilities of dangers ahead of her.

And not a moment too soon. As her ears suddenly managed to pick up some distant clopping and buzzing up ahead which was rapidly getting closer. A realization that quickly activated her fight or flight response, though neither of these option seemed particularly enticing to her at the moment.

“The voices...run from the voices...they don’t stop...they don’t stop.” Mystic managed to hear the echoing voice of someone off in the distance, sounding incredible distressed and desperate by the sounds of it.

Mystic began to panic a bit. “Crap, not again. Argh…I hate getting myself into situations like these. Though this time, it would make sense to assume that no random bug horse is going to just pop out of the ground and allow me refuge in some underground tunnel or something. Not that I want to crawl back into something tight and dark anyway. I already had enough thanks to those stupid vent shafts.” She thought to herself while frantically looking around herself for something to hide with.

An invisibility spell would be pretty helpful right now. But sadly such a spell required a high amount of mana and practice to pull off, something that Mystic was sadly missing on both fronts, especially on the practicing part.

“Wait, there!” She silently stated after gazing at one of the banners hanging nearby. This one actually sporting a broken pole on top, which in turn meant that it was hanging a lot lower to the ground than the other banners opposite from it. It was, in fact, touching the cold stone floor beneath it, which was perfect.

“I can easily hide behind that and pray to my ancestors that they won’t notice me when passing by. Not that I have much choice anyway.” Mystic thought to herself before dashing towards the banner.

And not a moment too soon, as the changeling guards quickly appeared from around the corner and were galloping past Mystic’s hidden form with both great haste and speed. All of them not minding the slight bulge on the banners fabric.

All Mystic had to do was hold her breath and keep still.

Mystic quietly sighed with relief after the coast was clear, allowing her to leave the protected cover of the banner.

“Whispers. What did that one changeling said about whispers?” Mystic mumbled to herself as she gazes at the fleeing changelings’ direction. Or rather, where they disappeared too.

“Whispers, whispers whispers...” She wondered to herself before it finally clicked. “Oh yes...the whispers. The curse of the Idol!” Mystic almost shouted, before quickly capping her mouth with a hoof to silence herself.

Though after a few second of looking around. She sighed, before removing her hoof.

“Well then, in that case, it means that I must be really getting close to the source. Good, now I’ll finally have the chance to bring an end to all of this. Not just for Cyrus, and the Zebras’ sakes, but more importantly for my kind as well. The idol will return to my people not matter what.” Mystic thought to herself, pepping herself up with as much determination and zeal as possible.

With that thought out of her way, she wasted no time in passing further down the hall and keeping her eyes and ears trained for anything out of the ordinary.

A few paces in and the atmosphere was already chilling. Like literally, the air around her quickly turned a lot colder for no reason, while the bright crystal lights above her grew dimmer and dimmer the further in she trotted. To say that this was getting both strange and creepy would have been an understatement.

The fact that the halls were getting quieter as well was creepy enough. She had been trotting through these halls casually for almost 10 minutes without any changelings or any other life form nearby.

It was quite haunting, very much so.

“This is strange, beyond strange.” Mystic mumbled to herself as she stayed vigilant. Especially when she reached a large crossing with three possible options to choose from. Though none of them seemed to be particularly inviting, and the lack of any lights made it even worse, with the magical crystals above her having long died out, just like the rest in all three directions.

“Could this be the Idol’s work? Drawing out magic from possible sources?” Mystic mentally wondered before looking over her shoulder from where she came. More accurately, looking up at some of the crystal that still had a bit of light in them, watching as the light in them slowly but surely faded away.

She wasn’t really sure if this was the Idol’s doing, but it was still a pretty good guess to make, judging from what she knew.

“How much magic has this crazy Queen of theirs been taking from the Idol?” Mystic wondered to herself before focusing back at the crossroad in front of her.

From what she could personally recall...or rather, from what she had been taught, whenever the Idol was being used in a ritual to ascend a Gazelle fawn into the magical gifted one Mystic was, a small slice of the Idol’s powers are being used to created a spiritual link with them and the magic around them, allowing them to access the magical winds that occupy this world.

The keyword here being ‘small slice.’ Though whatever these changelings must have done to it must have been a lot more than just a slice. Starving the spirits within the Idol of their natural power. And now, the aftermath of such recklessness towards an otherworldly Idol can be clearly seen around here. The spirits are starving and the only things they can do now is to draw the magic from anything they can get their constructs on. The natural magical aura which exists pretty much everywhere in this world are no longer enough, and are now forced to draw from physical sources instead.

Why, she doesn't know, but she was sure that there must be a reason behind it.

Though this could also probably explain why these changelings are going mad if they stay too close to the Idol. Their hive link must also be another form of magic being fed off of if that was the case.

Mystic wasn’t particularly sure if that was a fact, but it made sense in her head when she thought about it more. It might also explain why the changelings are hearing whispers in their heads as well; the spirits trying to seduce them closer, so that they can draw more from their magic.

Mystic shook her head. She then began to concentrate, trying to once again pinpoint the magical calling of the Idol. She quickly found it, turning herself to her left and trotting down the aforementioned corridor.

She was close, she could feel it, quite literally.

Just like before, the halls she passed through were all abandoned and silent, though with the added creepiness of being pitch black as well. The many side doors and portals on both sides where not making it any less foreboding ether. Most of them sporting wide open doors, or no doors at all, allowing the doe a front view of a black abyss beyond her sight.

Mystic was starting to get tense, as her paranoia strengthened with every step she took. She was even charging her horns at some points, just in case. Though, besides the growing sense of dread, she was at least getting close. All she needed to do was pass through another crossroad and the Idol should be right in front of her. Or rather, right behind a very large door which eventually presented itself.

She stopped in front of it. Disengaging her magic and gazing up at the large portal in front of her. She recoiled a bit once she realized what the doors were actually made of. She knew in advance that these changelings just love to use their own sludge to build things, but also constructing a whole big door out of it is just something that tickled her on a whole new level. And not in a good way.

She began to reach forward. Touching the door’s rough texture and almost shuddering at the touch. Not just out of disgust, but also with the fact that the door felt very, very cold. Even through her hoof.

Mystic was both surprised and confused by this. Mentally asking herself how the Idol was doing this? But she shook her confusion off as she began resting both of her fore hooves on the door’s surface. She then started to push to push, only for her to discover that the doors wouldn’t budge. As expected, but this didn’t stopped her.

She was this close, this close to finally coming face-to-face with a relic she had only heard of in stories and legends. She would be damned to give up now.

She needed to get this thing open, not matter wha…

“Halt. This shall be as far as you come. Not a step further”

This caused Mystic to freeze. She slowly turned her head, only to be met with the figure of a lone standing changeling guard behind her. Not just two, three, or even a dozen of them. But just one, one lonely changeling guard. Completely decked out in jet black armor that covered him from head to hoof.

It was both strange and quite confusing for Mystic. She wasn’t even sure how to really react to this, seeing that it was just one and not the dozens of changelings guards like she had encountered thus far.

She instinctively turned herself around, facing the changeling in front of her and began to rapidly look around to see if there were anymore besides him. But again, there was nothing, just this one lonely guard whose chitin wasn’t even visible thanks to all of that armor.

The changeling wasn’t even sporting a weapon. Just standing there like a statue while staring mystic down with his glowing blue eyes. Mystic again wasn’t particularly sure what to make of this unexpected encounter, but she knew that she had to do something. It was clear that this changeling was here to stop her, most likely with force if he had to. So Mystic did the first best thing she could think of and charged up her horns.

The changeling mysteriously though did nothing. Casually standing there without even blinking or twitching a muscle. Mystic was again a bit confused by this but didn’t let her guard down.

Though that still didn’t stopped her from getting surprised by her adversary. As Mystic suddenly found herself pinned to the door behind her by an unseen force. That force though was coming directly from the changeling himself. His horn glowing and crackling dangerously with unstable magic.

Mystic was trying to move, trying to break free from the changeling’s magical bond, but with no avail, even attempting to use a spell for herself didn’t have any results. Whatever magic this changeling was using was also canceling hers out.

She was trapped, and this was bad.

Mystic, though, continued to struggle regardless. Watching as the changeling was slowly stepping closer to her.

She wasn’t sure what this changeling was planning to do with her, but judging by her situation it surely wasn’t anything good, especially in how his magic was crackling and sparking unstably. Some bolts of unstable magic even jumping to the door around her, leaving very visible scorch marks on its surface.

She was trapped, her magic canceled out, and faced with unstable magic. She was, for the first time, feeling true dread; her zeal long gone and so was her courage.

She felt helpless. Even more so when the changeling suddenly moved his head closer to hers, his muzzle only inches away from hers.

The changeling was about say something before the intended words suddenly turned more into unintelligible grunts. He seemed to be struggling with something, before his grunts quickly turned into hisses and groans of pain. He eventually collapsed onto the floor, clutching his head with both his hooves before screaming. Letting Mystic go from his magical grasp.

Mystic of course fell flank first, causing her to yelp.

The changeling on the other hand was busy with something else. Or rather with someone else as his screams was all she was capable of hearing.

“ARGH...GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD...STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AND GET OUT OF MY HEAD...ARRRGH!” He screamed while rolling around the floor.

Mystic understandingly recoiled at the sound of his volume. Looking at the changeling with both shock and surprise as he began to hit his head against the floor in an almost comical manner. Mystic eventually shook her head, taking this opportunity given to her by the changeling’s horn and channeling her magic. She decided to end this once and for all. She had been pushed around for far to long. Now it was time for some well needed pay pack for the crap she had to go through. This mission, that stupid Monkey king, those Zebras, these accused changelings, and most importantly that damn father of hers and his overreaching pride.

If it wasn’t for him and his stupid traditions, she wouldn’t even be in this mess to begin with. Retrieving the Idol or not, let someone else go on this damn fetch quest.

“I had enough of this. I am no longer allowing ANYONE to push me around and make me look like a little helpless fawn. I will get the Idol back to my tribe no matter what.” She screamed before finally releasing the spell she had been preparing this whole time.

A white bright orb was released from Mystic’s horns and flew towards the grounded changelings in front of her. The spell hits its mark, causing the changeling to spasm out on the ground before finally ceasing his cries. He laid there still, unmoving and slightly smoking from Mystic’s magic.

Mystic sighed after everything was over. Watching silently as the changeling’s body just laid there. She didn’t killed him, but in fact used a little stun spell to overwhelmed his nervous system. She was in the position to take the kill, but decided not to. Especially when she had never killed anyone or anything in her life, and she was sure as hell not going to start with it now. No matter how frustrated she felt. Not here, not now. Not when her father might have demanded otherwise from her.

She wasn’t going to do his wishes now, even if he isn’t here to say or see them.

“By the name of my ancestors. I really needed that.” She sighed.

After a few moments of breathing and calming her nerves from what she had just done, she eventually was ready again to focus back on her task at hoof, more specifically the door behind her. She gave it a hard good look before just frowning at it. With her bottled up emotions now somewhat released, she was more or less back to her old short tempered self as she glared at the two doors.

She charged up her horns again. This time not holding back one ounce or even giving a damn if anyone was going to hear her. She channelled as much explosive magic as she could in between her horns, before releasing it all with one mighty battle cry.

The spell she released was a body sized fireball, and just like in its nature, it did its thing by creating a huge fiery explosion once it impacted with the door. It illuminated the halls in a fiery red glow and dispelled its shadows. Once the deed was done though, Mystic began to wave away the smoke hovering around her face and re-opened her eyes.

What she saw pleased her. Her natural sense for aggression finally paid off for once as she was greeted with a wide-open hole where the large body of the door used to be. Though the remaining sections of the massive doors were still perfectly intact, somewhat annoying the doe.

But it didn’t matter as she could see a small shimmer or light coming from inside the room. It was still too faint to really make out, but it was enough to get her excited. She dashed right through the opening, not minding the sudden drop in temperature as her breaths became visible.

It was her sense of excitement and a feeling of finality which kept her warm.

As she got closer though, it was finally clear what the faint light source was. Mystic’s eyes widen as she realized the shape it had.

The murals and glyphs on its surface, the chiseled and wonderfully painted from, and also the distinct head shape and Gazelle horns on top. And most importantly, the magic it was radiating. There was no mistaken, this was the Idol, no doubt about it.

“By the spirits, this is it, the long lost Idol.” Mystic muttered to herself as she finally reach her long awaited prize. The Deity Idol, resting on top a sludge-made pedestal, looking just as prestige as the elders had described it. The gold and silver lining. The gems for eyes and the massive sapphire on its forehead. All truly a sight to behold.

“This relic is even more beautiful in person then I could have ever imagined. This is truly amazing!” Mystic continued to comment as she simply basked in the Idol’s aura. Even though it was heavily drained of its power, the magic it was still radiating was enough to make Mystic’s gem glow regardless. She could feel the presence within the Idol reach out to her, almost recognizing as to who she was and mending to her emotions.

But she shook it all off. She had to take the Idol back to the surface where it could be safe from further meddling. She was about to reach out for it before a sudden bolt of magic stopped her from doing so. It zipped past her face, causing her to yelp and step back.

She quickly turned her head to its source, only to be meant with a set of menacingly green eyes piercing through the darkness. Mystic readied herself. Channeling her magic and feeling the power of the Idol fuel her efforts.

This caused the hidden being to snarl at her before firing another bolt at her. This one flying true and heading directly for Mystic.

She on the other end stood her ground. Directing her magic to form a magical ward in front of her. Deflecting the deadly bolts and even absorbing some of its magical energy.

Mystic was ready this time. This time she was going to stand her ground and fight for the Idol, no matter who it might be hiding in the shadows.

As if on cue, the being behind the darkness stepped forward, showing its true visage to the surface dweller. She was tall, slender, regal and a complete and utter mess. Most notably, her mane and yellow tail. Furthermore, this tall changeling seemed to be the source of the coldness for some reason.

There was no doubt about it. This was certainly the queen Mystic had been hearing about so much. This crazy-looking woman is the cause for the Idol’s side effects running rampant within her hive.

“You dare to feed from MY Idol?! I will rip you apart for this you surface dwelling worm! The magic is has is mine! MINE YOU HEAR ME?!” She shouted before charging her horn.

Mystic just steeled herself. Lowering herself in a defensive positions with her horns and gem sparking with magic, ready to cast if need be.

The queen on the other hand took this as an offense as she quickly fired another spell towards the Gazelle. Mystic responded to this with a swift spell of her own, casing a ward in front of her and blocking the attack.

This had the immediate results of enraging the mad queen even further as she simply charged Mystic, rapidly firing spells from her horn as she did so.

It seems clear that this crazy queen was more acting on her emotions rather than actual thinking through her attacks.

Though despite that exploitable flaw, Mystic for her part was forced to dodge as the queen got too close to her. Disengaging the shield as a result and leaving her wide open for another assault because of it. The queen took advantage of this as she fired another spell once she turned herself around; this one being more concentrated and narrow than the first couple, mimicking the shape of a blade that flew directly towards Mystic.

Mystic on the other end tried to dodge this one as well, but still managed to get herself clipped on her right flank as she did so. She hissed, not just through the pain, but also the electrifying sensation going through the whole of her left hind leg, which rendered it quite numb for a quick moment, forcing her to her knees.

The Queen smirked at this before her crazed slit eyes fell upon the Idol. She began to direct her horn towards it, visibly drawing from the Idol’s magic pool in the form of a light blue mist coming from the statue.

This caused Mystic’s eyes to widen before she adopted a sense of rage within herself. She forced herself back on all fours, charging the queen with her horns lowered and crashing into the oblivious queen. Both her and Mystic then started to tumble about on the floor before coming to a dead stop in front of a cupboard looking thing at the other end of the room. Mystic might not have realized it at the time, but she was actually inside the Queen's private chambers. It was just really hard for her to figure it out thanks to the darkness which encased the room. Plus, the obviously more pressing problem in having a crazy-minded queen on her hooves.

The only light source which offered any form of illumination within the room was either coming from the queen’s unstably charged horn, Mystic’s magical gem, and of course the Idol itself.

The first one to recover from this crash was unfortunately the queen herself as she sent a shock wave out of her horn, which blew Mystics unprepared form to the opposite side of the room. Mystic grunted in pain as she impacted the wall hard enough for the air to be knocked out of her system. Her flank once again was the first to make contact with the floor beneath her which just added to her discomfort.

She wasn’t sure if anything broke during the impact, but for her it pretty much felt like her entire body was on fire. Her heart was racing a million miles per hour and her breaths were becoming coarse and ragged.

She was physically unable to pick herself up, but her mind and will screamed at her to bloody get up and impale this changeling garbage with her horns if she had to.

She tried to push herself up at first with no avail. That is, until she suddenly felt a sort of stream reaching her, entering her body and easing the pain and fatigue she was feeling. She could feel the Idol reaching out to her and gifting her with a large portion of its own magic to strengthen hers. She could feel the magic coursing through her vain as the runes on her horn suddenly began to expand to the rest of her body. Her gem was growing in luminescence as well when she found herself being lifted up on all fours. The runes circling through her body started to glow as well, going down to her hooves which also started to shine and a bluish light.

Mystic wasn’t particularly sure what the heck was going on as she looked down at herself with a sense of awe and surprise. She was understandably confused by this but didn’t have the luxury of dwelling on it for too long as another bolt of magic flew towards her.

Her eyes went wide when she realized that it was too late for her to react. She simply closed her eyes and braced herself for the inevitable pain which was to come.

Though surprisingly it didn’t come, in fact her gem started to glow brightly without her even knowing it before encasing her in a shield which blanketed her form.

The bolt then harmlessly bounced off Mystic’s shield and impacted the wall to the far left.

The queen understandingly was stunned by this, but so was Mystic once she realized what had happened. She wasn’t sure how she managed to do that without her being aware of it, but she did understood to never really looked into a gift lion’s mouth and expect any form of enlightenment from it. Especially when she was far from safe with this crazed queen still standing in front of her.

“Is this...the Idol’s doing? Is it really trying to actively help me?” Mystic muttered to herself while looking down at her sky blue hooves and the runes running up her front legs.

She wasn’t too sure with her guess, but what she did know was that she somehow gained a fighting chance, and she would be damned to throw it away just because she was feeling unsure about something. That was normally her sister’s job, not hers.

So with that, she focused herself back on the fight and smirked at the wide-eyed changeling. This of course had the intended effect of enraging the queen as she glared at the confident looking doe with great malice.

“You insignificant little pest of a surface mutt, I will burn your very soul for daring to defy me like this. No one defies me, NO ONE!” She screamed before firing another spell at her. This time in the form of some very unstable looking lightning which was arching wildly towards the doe.

Mystic again stood her ground before powering up her magic and flashing herself away from the incoming danger. The spell the queen fired impacted against the far wall by which Mystic was previously standing it, and causing the room to be illuminated by a bright red flash and a thundering sound. Once everything cleared, the far wall where the spell impacted was molten red giving this room another light source in the form of melted stone.

Mystic was understandably surprised in just how powerful that spell was. She knew that if she hadn’t blinked herself away in the nick of time, that she would have been most likely disintegrate by this spell. If blocking it with her ward would have been possible was another question entirely.

But either way, none of that really mattered now as Mystic was forced to raise yet another shield to guard herself from a second attack coming from the crazy queen.

Mystic at this point was sick of having to go into the defensive this entire time and decided to blink herself away again in order to momentary confuse the changeling Queen.

Blinking herself to the rear of the queen on the other end of the room and quickly preparing another spell once she reappeared. She fired it, being the same fireball spell she had cast on the door earlier, though this time a lot bigger and more powerful thanks to her given power up. Though unlike before, her sense of accuracy didn’t mean much as the spell still missed when the queen took to the air and dodged it, allowing the flaming ball to pass through under her and impacting the far wall behind her and causing another huge explosion within the room. One which Mystic was forced to look away from thanks to its bright glare and substantial heat coming from it. Even from a distance the heat of the blast was fairly uncomfortable.

Once the damage was done though, Mystic found herself flying into the air once more as a spell impacted and exploded right in front of her, though this time she managed to catch herself and land back on all fours. Quickly retaliating with a couple of blasts of her own at the airborne queen.

The queen on the other end managed to dodged most of them, with only one clipping her right wing which forced her to hiss. She was forced back onto the ground to even out the battle once more.

“You...you...you...insolent...surface...worm...how dare you...” The Queen tried to hiss before Mystic cut her off by firing another blast of magic towards her and forcing her to side step.

The queen was visibly livid at this point. It seriously wouldn’t surprise Mystic if she would suddenly suffer from a heart attack because of it. But it again didn’t matter, as she personally wanted to end this as quickly as possible. No more time wasting, no more taunting, no more annoying words coming from this heretic changeling Queen.

Her natural quirk of an impatient little doe once again shining through.

The queen responded to this by blinking herself away as well which caught Mystic completely off guard. The queen then swiftly reappeared in front of Mystic just as quickly, causing her to yelp before screaming in pain instead when the queen suddenly sank her fangs into Mystic’s shoulder and lifted her off the ground with unbelievable strength before throwingl her into the nearest wall.

Mystic once again was able to catch herself with some self-levitation despite the burning pain she felt in her left shoulder. She looked down at her wounds, and was horrified to see that along with her blood, there was also a distinct green liquid coming from her wound as well. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out what that green substance might be.

Mystic then glared at the queen. She was done holding back now, especially when she only has a limited time before the poison, or whatever it is she injected into her was going take its effect. She tried to do the same thing as she did, blinking herself out of existence and re-appearing right in front of her followed with a might head butt aimed at her chest.

Her efforts where a success, as her horns slammed into the queens chest with enough force to send her flying. Right into a nearby wall where she slammed on just as hard.

Karma can be so delicious sometimes.

Mystic was now panting. She doesn’t know if this was because of her growing exhaustion, or perhaps the fact that the poison might be already taking its effect. She didn’t know, but what she did know what that she needed to finish NOW. Especially when she finally managed to do some substantial damage to the queen. Her chest cracked and bleeding with green blood through its gaps.

“How did you...*cough*...how did you...breach my chitin? *cough*...I will...argh.” The queen tried to retort before her aforementioned chest damage made itself known to her.

It was her turn to glare at the Gazelle who had done this to her, who has actually managed to crack her chitin and expose her. Her horn crackled with dangerous magic as she viewed the spell-channeling doe with nothing but hate. She was not allowing herself to be bested by some surface-dwelling worm, not here, not now, not ever. She was going to make this thing pay.

With that she did what she had to do. Channeling as much magic as she could into her horn. Or rather, all of it. This much magic in one concentrated point might be enough to blow a huge section of the noble quarters right off the hive, but as long as it would guarantee killing this usurper, it was okay. She, on the other hand, could handle an explosion of her own making.

Mystic on her part was seemingly oblivious on the Queen’s desperate ideas as she was busy fighting her own coarse breathing. She would normally be trying to get her finished off while she was down. But the poison coursing through her veins was making it difficult to even concentrate.

This was bad, really bad, she was already suffering the effects of the poison before she could finishing her off. Despite her slowly increasing problems, she still willed herself to at least move closer towards the queen to try and finish her off the old fashion way. Her vision was starting to get blurry as well and her steadily deteriorating balance was not helping her either.

She needed to get this done. She needed to finish her off while she was charging up her horn, so that she can...wait...her horn?

Mystic finally realized what this changeling was trying to do. That much magic in one concentrated spot surely can’t mean anything good.

“What...what are you doing...so much magic on one point can easily get out of control and possible exploited. Are you MAD?!” Mystic tried to reason as the magic in the changeling queen’s horn was steadily becoming more unstable and chaotic. Sparks were practically shooting everywhere, forcing Mystic to step aside a couple of times to not get hit by them. Despite her steadily deteriorating conditions.

This poison was working fast, dangerously so.

“Now, you will die you insulant worm. I will blow you to pieces, even if I have to sacrifice a large portion of my hive. I refuse to be bested by the likes of you. You, and all those traitors will DIE!” She screamed as the magic in her horn was reaching a critical apex.

Mystic was now visibly panicking. She tried to do something, to concentrate on a spell or move closer to the queen to stop her, but the poison was steadily making it difficult to do both as she soon found herself stumbling forward and collapsing to the floor; her chest in pain and her muscles growing increasingly numb.

Breathing alone was quickly becoming a chore as she tried desperately to concentrate on a spell. But only receiving weak failed sparks as a result. Even the Idol seemed to be unable to help her now. No amount of magic could help her now if she couldn’t even concentrate long enough to cast the simplest of spells.

This crazy queen was going to blow everything up with the sparking ball on top of her, and the only thing she could do was just watch as a sudden flash appeared right above the queen alongside with a figure popping right throu…wait what?

Mystic’s eyes immediately widen when she realized that something had suddenly popped into existence and fell right onto the already injured queen. Landing on her and more or less knocking her out with its wight, canceling out and dispersing the magic she had been building up harmlessly.

Mystic sighed with relief at the sudden change of luck she had been given. But that still left one question open as to who or what suddenly appeared right above the crazy queen.

She tried her best to focus her blurry vision despite having more pressing issues to worry about besides just her eyes. But a very recognizable voice quickly answered her question as it suddenly started to speak up.

“Oh...so that’s what that ring shape thing was for. To think that is can teleport things to persons to random locations is quite handy to know. Perhaps we can make it less random and actually create a link to two designated points? That would certainly ease my travel time from the kitchen to the bathroom significantly. Oh the luxuries of teleportation.” Alex commented, which in turn made Mystic just groan before looking back with confusion. Or rather tried too.

“What the...how the...how did you get here?” Mystic asked, her confusion quite evident in her voice and expression. Totally ignoring the issues about a certain poison coursing through her veins because of it.

This caused the aforementioned Monkey King to look around. Noting the dark damp room he was in, Mystic laying on the floor with a shit ton more tattoos and an interesting shaped statue in the middle of the room.

He was of course more interesting at the glowing thing in front of him, like a small child getting mesmerized by a light-up Christmas tree.

“Ooh pretty, is that the magical jiggyMcthingie those Gazelles have been looking for?” Alex comment, totally oblivious or maybe uncaring as to what he had teleported into.

This was rather frustrating to Mystic as she just groaned again. She still wasn’t sure as to how this crazy monarch of a different nature has managed to get himself down here besides the previous mentioning of some ring device that got him here.

She needed more than just him spouting vague nonsense like he always does. “Wait a minute, you still haven’t told me HOW you managed to get here in more detail, and how you...wait...where are you going?” Mystic tried to asked before noticing Alex getting off the queen’s body and making his way towards the shiny Idol at the center of the room.

It was already bad enough that he was ignoring her. She always hated that, no matter who it was, but now he was also moving closer to the Idol she fought so hard for. The last thing she wanted to happen right now is for someone else touching or possibly misusing the Idol even further.

King of the Zebras or not, she was not going to allow anyone to touch it at this point. Heck, she fought a power hungry queen for that thing.

“Hey, stop right there...don’t you bloody...touch what belongs to my kind you...you crazy...argh.” She shouted before she got brutally reminded that she was still suffering from whatever concoction the mad mutt of a queen injected into her.

She would try to ask for help, but she knew who this king was, and asking for any form of assistance might be a meaningless endeavor. She doubted that this...king had any medical knowledge whatsoever, let alone magical knowledge, besides the use of magical items, like that one ring thing he mentioned which she still hadn’t gotten a straight answer to, and he was about to touch the Idol as well, if the blurry image of his outstretched arms was true.

“I swear...if you...touch it...then I will...” She tried to scream before mentally deciding to just not bother anymore. One, because she was in pain and two, she knew that he would touch it anyway no matter what she threatened to do to him.

And so it happened. The crazy Monkey King poked the ancient and quite powerful Idol of some old Deity of the Gazelles. The results from that were...just as one would expect.

Absolutely bloody nothing.

“Huh...and here I thought that something amazing would suddenly happ...” He was about to comments before his expectations suddenly came true.

Something did happened, in fact, something bright and rather unexpected. The Idol suddenly began to shine; all over its ancient body, runes and gemstones embedded inside of it glowing. The light eventually clustered together to form a shining sphere in front of the Idol. A sphere which changed into the shape of an egg, before hovering right in front Alexander’s wondrous form as he looked down at the yellow egg in front of him.

Mystic on the other hand was beyond baffled by this. Once again forgetting her peril and focusing on the egg that just materialized from the Idol.

“Ooh...fancy.” Alex commented as he took the egg. The egg itself gave off a faint glow at the contact of Alex’s hands before settling down.

Alex was observing the egg from all angles afterwards. Getting a sense of Déjà vu when he first found Penelope’s egg. In fact, this reminded him.

“Wait...didn’t I have Penelope on my arm when I was fiddling with that one ring-shaped relic within the Palace vault?” He wondered out loud.

Right on cue though, another flash suddenly appeared right above the downed queen where Alex originally appeared. It was none other then the aforementioned missing drake herself, dropping right out of the air and landing right onto the queens back which knocked a bit of air out of her.

Penelope on the other hand seemed to be relatively unharmed or unfazed by all of this, as she simply babbled on happily while clapping her claws together.

Alex perked up at that. “Ah, there you are. I was wondering where you teleported off too. You are making big old Alex worried you know!” The Monkey King cheerfully stated before making his way to her and picking her up.

This was basically the final straw for Mystic as the decided now was the good time to allow herself to be knocked out. The combination of exhaustion, brain fuckery and of course the poison causing her great pain was in the end to much for her.

At least she went out knowing that she was the first Gazelle after many decades to first laid eye on the famed Idol of their more glorious past.

She did her thing, now she just hoped that she was going to survive long enough to witness the fruits of her labor, or that someone was going to have the common sense to bring the Idol back to the surface where her sister could bring it back to her tribe.

She had very little hope that the King would actually do it himself.

Author's Note

I am going to try out something...unexpected and a bit unorthodox with this egg. So bear with me. You all can even later decide if I should continue with this idea or not. I can easily change it if you all don't like it.

Chapter 32: Another problems solved, hurray for a new one

Author's Note

If any reader out there has any knowledge about editing and proofreading, and is interested in helping out pls PM. My current editor is busy with school.

Chapter 32: Another problems solved, hurray for a new one

Chapter 32: Another problem solved, hurray for a new one

Edited by: The Great Khan

“Well, this was certainly an unexpected outcome, but at least it has results, and we don’t have to restrain the queen ourselves like I thought we would.” Cyrus commented as he looked at the knocked-out Queen in front of him.

He was prepared to face the Queen himself in the worst case scenario, which was why he and his fellow changelings had to sneak their way to local archives to get what Cyrus needed. An old scroll, written during the time of the older dynasty of their hive, the one which existed before Palmyria’s lineage took over.

But it seemed that his preparations where radically simplified in the end. Thanks to the absence of anymore changeling guards the further they got into the hearth of the hive, and of course Mystic’s own reckless actions. Though he really shouldn’t call her actions “reckless” now, since she managed to accomplish the unexpected by defeating the Queen all by herself. Well to be fair, she just “weakened” the Queen. The real honor of taking down the changeling Queen actually goes to the Zebra King himself, which was a rather odd title to give him, considering what he did and how he even got here.

All of those events were far outside his suspected planning and self-preparations. Which was both good and slightly annoying as well. All the many nights spent thinking and careful planning down the drain essentially. But alas, it didn’t matter. What did matter though was that everything seemed to be over for now. Whatever curse had befallen the hive thanks to the Idol seemed to have been lifted. Because...well, Cyrus and his fellow changelings were right here, with no negatives effects whatsoever.

Cyrus looked down at the Gazelle, who was currently being looked after by a fellow changeling with medical expertise and an antidote for changeling toxins.

Whatever had happened to Mystic to boost her magical strength must have also boosted her physical resilience as well, as she was still very much alive when he and the rest got there.

Any other normal creature or race he knew off would have long succumbed to the level of poison she was exposed too. But again, it was at least good to know that she was going to make it, especially now that she was being treated.

As for the King, well...he was just being himself, rather careless and more interested in the baby drake on his arm and that mysterious egg he had.

The egg in particular seemed to be the most mysterious thing so far. From what he learned so far, by talking to the King himself, the egg actually came from the Idol itself.

Though thinking back on the Idol, Cyrus quickly remembered that he still needed to sever the mental link the Queen had with any other changelings nearby, basically de-powering her and removing her legitimacy of being the Queen.

How to do so was actually written down inside the scroll Cyrus managed to dig up from the hive’s archives. It was how Palmyria’s ancestors succeeded in usurping the last dynasty of Queens and creating a new one.

With that done, the title of the next Queen would then go to her closest bloodkin, which would be Palmyria. She’d ascend into an actual changeling Queen; becoming the new beacon of the collective mind of every changeling nearby was still a mystery. He had stated that doing so would be straight forward, but the truth was that he had no idea what would happen, though for now he needed to do the required procedure in severing the current queen’s link to the hive mind and therefore de-powering her.

Better to do it now while she’s unable to resist. It’s a cruel fate for any changeling, but it was one that needed to be done if killing her was out of the question.

Cyrus then eventually focused his attention to a couple of changelings behind him. Giving them a mental message that it was time, the two changelings nodded before moving closer to the downed Queen along with Cyrus. Those two were simply there to act as stabilizers while Cyrus did most of the magic.

While that was going on, a random changeling had come trotting into the room with another Gazelle following it from behind. This Gazelle was none other than Little Steppes, and at the sight of her unconscious sister she immediately ran past everyone in front of her to get to her sister as quickly as possible.

“Oh dear mother, what happened to Mystic?!” She asked, naturally shocked to see her sister unconscious. Though she also noted the new looks her sister was sporting as well, which only helped to widen her expression even further.

“She was poisoned. But don’t worry, I’ve already neutralized the toxins and she should be doing fine from this point on. She’s just unconscious for now, but she should wake up soon.” The changeling answered before finally getting back up after having finished his job.

Steppes was relieved to hear that before once again focusing back on the extra runes and markings covering her entire body. She knew that the blue swirl runes were usually only present on the horns of those magically gifted, but seeing her sister suddenly sporting them all over her body raised a lot of questions in her mind, even more so when she saw the blue hooves she had as well.

“What...happened to her?” She wondered to herself while looking down at her still form.

“I think that she got a ‘Level Up’ from what I can tell. Quite a typical occurrence in these magic-filled worlds. Well...in video game worlds that is. But so far, this world has pretty much operated like a video game from my perspective, so my stance still stands.” Alexander suddenly piped in, having taking enough time out of his lollygagging to address someone other than Penelope or Cyrus for a change.

Little Steppes flinched back a bit, a sense of surprise washed over her features as she finally noticed his presence for the first time. She naturally began to look around herself to see if there was any other entry or exit into this room until deducting that there wasn’t. She quickly turned her head back to the waving monarch in front of her, in all of his pajama wearing glory.

“What the...I...I didn’t know that His Highness was down here as well. The last time I saw you was...before I went down to town to look for my sister this morning.” She commented, fairly surprised to see him here, in the heart of the changeling hive and so far away from the surface.

The king just hummed while unconsciously swapping Penelope's claws away from his shirt. She was about to chew on it again, which Alexander heroically thwarted with her expert swatting skills.

“Well...” He began before looking back at steppes. “I am full of mysteries and surprises. My existence...is an enigma in this world.” He stated with a hint of mystery in his tone which only made Steppes tilt her head.

A bright flash suddenly illuminated the room, which forced both Steppes and Alex to turn to its source. What they saw was a panting Cyrus standing in front of an unconscious Queen with two of his lackeys.

Alex was already coming up with a dirty joke with that realization, while Steppes focused more on the downed Queen herself. She raised a surprised eyebrow when she noticed that the orange color within the Queen’s hair was dulling, her mane and tail slowly becoming shorter and her horn also receding in size.

She didn’t know what Cyrus and the other two did, but it didn’t matter. As long as she stayed unconscious while she was here, it was fine with her.

She then also took notice of the last remaining light source within the room, the source being the Idol itself, which caused Steppes’ eyes to widen for a second time. She carefully approached it, taking in its design and level of detail, while also being able to sense its aura coming from it, despite not sharing an affinity with magic like her sister.

She knew that this was the Idol no doubt, despite never having seen it until now.

“The long lost Idol, I can’t believe that it’s truly here, right in front of me. Being one of the first to see it after many generations. It’s just...unbelievable, in a way.” She muttered while allowing herself to be entranced by its beauty.

It was then that someone else suddenly came through the door this time. It was none other than Farries and few others of Cyrus team. He looked a bit around at first before his gaze fell on Cyrus’ exhausted form.

He approached him. “Cyrus, just heard that the large army of changeling guards in front of the eastern gate have all suddenly falling unconscious without warning. Could this maybe be link with the fact that the Queen is knocked out as well?” He reported, before looking a bit curious himself.

Cyrus nods. “Could be, a Queen needs to be conscious in order to communicate or manipulate a changeling via her mental links with them. I guess my theories were correct after all, that she had a certain level of personal control over the military, turning them rather aggressive and fiercely loyal to her.“He responded while rubbing his chin.

Farries then eventually looked down at the Queen. He once served as her local infiltrator and information agent, before he then learned what true love tastes and feels like. Both literally and... physical.

His switch then to the other side was rather easy at that point, especially when he now found a mate to be with.

After a couple of minutes of self reflections, Farries then turned his attention back to Cyrus with one important question.

“So...what are we going to do with her now? She no longer has the mental connections to be a Queen as far as I know.” Farries questioned.

This made Cyrus think. “Well, we can’t have her wake up and run around freely. At least down here or above on the surface. I guess we have to let Palmyria decide what to do with her mother. She is the new Queen of the hive after all.” He responded.

“Or...” The Monkey King suddenly perked up. “...we could integrate her into society. Rehabilitate and make her less of a bitch.” He openly proposed.

This caused everyone to look at him before turning to one another. For most, this sounded like a horrible idea. Even for Steppes, despite not knowing to much about the Queen and what she had generally done to make her so dangerous and unstable.

“Well, again, I would still suggest to let the princess decide her fate. After we tidy everything up here and get a large majority of the nobility on her side. I am sure some are going to oppose the idea of allowing the Queen’s daughter to step up to the throne, especially when those that actually favored her mother heavily from her crazed rule. Such are the natures of politics, sadly.” Cyrus stated with a sigh.

It was then when Penelope also made her presence know by a low, but still audible rumble coming from her belly.

This forced Alexander to switcher his attention back to his little drake with a realizing expression.

“Oh, what’s this? Is little miss Penelope hungry again? Well, it is almost time for dinner after all. Better get you something to chew on before I lose yet another shirt of your insatiable hunger. Heaven knows that my royal tailors are not going to be pleased with the fact, that all of their hard work and time is simply being eaten away by a weedy little drake.” Alex stated before getting up. Dusting himself off before making sure both his drake and the egg were fairly gripped within his arms.

“Well then, time to teleport back to the surfaaaaaaa I can’t teleport back because I left the ring thing Mcguffin back at the vault before getting here. Great, that means I have to walk. And I hate walking...sometimes.” The King openly complained after realizing that his trip was more of a one trip pony.

Cyrus looked at him, before fixing his gaze back to Farries. “Well, I guess Farries here will be able to escort you back to the surface. Being a previous spy and intelligence gathering means that he’s pretty well versed with the hive layout and other tunnels. It should be quick.” Cyrus offered to which Farries simply sighed.

“Fine, I can do that.” He answered before looking up at the king.

Alex hummed. “Well, fair enough, as long as I don’t have to climb too many stairs, I guess it is fine. Lead the way then dear Zebra lover, because my little drake here is very hungry. And let me tell you. You do NOT want her to stay hungry for too long if you value your personal possessions’ safety. She can be quite the fire hazard if she has any form of stomach problems.” The king stated, which got solidified by the fact that Penelope quickly burped out a small flame after he said that.

Proving his point.

.............................................................................................................................................

Bakuss was silently strolling through the Palace Barracks, which had been momentary converted into a hospital to treat the injured and those who survived the fights underground. It was sad to know that during the first engagement, a sizable number of guards met their ends almost instantly during that one devastating strike the changelings pulled, but it was nothing too short of the casualties which were suffered during the defense of the Eastern Bridge. Not saying that Bakuss was ok with the idea of his fellow kin dying out in the battle, but that was just the general nature of war; people will die with destruction and sorrow not far behind. Being surrounded by possible enemies and ancient rivals pretty much makes it a guarantee that further conflicts in the near future are a possibility. Especially with their desire to retake old borders and frontiers.

There certainly will be a handful of neighbors who are going to be against their ambitions.

Bakuss was sure that this would certainly not be the last time he would come across a room filled with the injured or recently retired. It certainly wasn’t pretty, but it was still a view he would have to get used to, one way or another.

“I would say that we need to start drafting more Zebras for the army pretty soon. We only have a limited number of guards at our hooves as it is with so much extra room for more. I wonder how the king will respond to the idea of expanding his army as well, besides just adding those more specialized warriors from all the other Zebra tribes, like those Sand Hunters.” Bakuss muttered to himself as he continued to watch the local herbalists, alchemists and even members of the temples helping out the sick and injured.

“Greetings, sir.” Lieutenant Liuanda suddenly greeted as she came waddling over to the captain, one of her hind legs being encased inside a cast, which forced her to use a crutch to support her weight properly.

Liuanda’s presence made Bakuss shake his head, as he knew that she should have been resting and not running about with a crutch under her leg. But alas, he also knew that she could be rather thick headed sometimes, so he decided to not comment on her disregard for her own health and just focus more on the scene in front of him.

“Well, greetings to you as well Liuanda. How are your injuries doing?” Bakuss asked, just for the sake of starting a conversation.

Liuanda looked down towards her injured hind leg before replying. “They’re doing fine, the worst being my leg as you can see sir, but nothing to discomforting.” She replied.

Bakuss just hummed while keeping his attention fixed on the room in front of him. Liuanda just did the same, watching as priests and herbalists were doing their jobs.

That also reminded her that their would be another mass funeral taking place soon at the Temple of the Dead. Another moment where a lot of family members and friends have to watch their loved once depart for the afterlife. Sad, but something that was unavoidable, whether you were a soldier or not.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Well...I did as much research as I could, but I still have no idea what this egg might be. Its yellow and gray patterns are like nothing I’ve ever seen or read about before. It certainly isn’t a dragon egg, that's for sure.” Akunezzar answered as he looked at the egg resting on a very, very...like a very large pillow in front of my equally supersized bed.

Why is it resting on an almost bed size pillow some may ask? Well it's simple, I found it in my room-sized closet this morning and just thought to myself. “Hmmm, why not use it to act as an egg pillow?”

A completely random thought for sure. But hey, I am all about random shit and ideas that are not seen as normal by your average simple-minded citizen. Keeps my enemies on their toes and my allies confused. What more could you possibly ask for?

Either way, I was still truly disappointment with Aku’s lack of actual information as to what this egg is. I was really hoping that it my be another drake, one which may be magically gifted, as it did come from a Magic god’s Idol. You can never have enough drakes in my opinion, plus getting Penelope a brand new sibling would also be a good bonus as well. It would then at least secure me a lot more free time in the foreseeable future as the two would then keep themselves busy while I could focus more on my Kingly things and more lollygagging.

I mumbled to myself unintelligent for a bit while looking down at the egg. “Well, you tried Aku, you tried. Dear God knows that I would have never succeeded in searching through an ENTIRE library for one book. I would have certainly lost my enthusiasm to keep going after the fiftieth or sixth book or so. So you, my dear Aku, are truly a lifesaver sometimes.” I stated, giving the old geezer a pat on the back and a well deserved thumbs up for his efforts.

“Uhm...thanks...your Highness. As you local advisor it is my duty after all to assist you in the fields of knowledge.” He responded.

I hummed before moving my head closer to the egg to have a better look at it for like... the tenth time since bringing it here. It wasn’t particularly noticeable, but when looking at the egg from a certain angle I could swear that I can see a bit of a halo surrounding the egg’s outer shell. It was strange, perhaps even a bit intriguing, but again the angle wasn’t always consistent for me to openly point out. Seriously it was only at some very specific angle when you hold your head still. Which is an almost impossibility for me, given my hyperactive nature when I’m not being lazy instead.

“Is there something you see on it?” Aku asked as he watched me watching the egg. This might be my new TV but I doubt that Aku even knows what a TV is.

I hummed to myself, stroking my chin for added character and pressing my lips together. “Well...I am not sure. But I could swear that this things has a bit of a glow to it. Could also just be the glare of the sun or some reflection maybe? Because you can only ever see it when you look at it from a very specific angle.” I stated, deciding to just spill the beans.

Aku stroked his beard. “Is that so? Well, I put this egg under much study and observation earlier and can assure you that I haven’t noticed anything odd with its outside appearance besides the strange color combination.” Aku answered.

I sharply turned my head to him which made him flinch. “Are you saying that I am crazy?” I asked which made him shake his head.

“No, no of course not. I never stated that you are.” He quickly defended himself.

“Hmmm, that’s fine. I know what I am. It is all part of my collective psyche.” I responded before looking back at the egg.

I eventually picked up it. Giving it a bit of a shake while holding my right ear against it. As expected, there was nothing. No sound and certainly no indication that it was occupied with something. Well, i mean nothing inside that would allow me to actually feel it by shaking it, besides its obvious weight.

“Well, I guess all we can do know is wait for this thing to hatch or whatever. Shouldn’t take to long...before I feel the need to have an oversize omelet or something. Of course that last one was a joke.” I stated before placing the egg back down.

Though speaking of omelets, I could actually really use one, despite the fact I only just had lunch around an hour ago. I love in-between snacks when I can get the opportunity to do so. It's a miracle that I haven’t blown up already around my midsection after all these years. But that’s yet again a story for another time.

“Maybe we could just...” I was about to propose before I was halted by a knock on my 2000 EURO door. Because pairing an items value with dollars is super cliche and I typically don’t like these bland green things of folding paper.

Either way, besides mentally shitting on the dollar before finding something else I can personally make fun off, it was clear that someone was standing right behind the closed doors to my private chambers, which wouldn’t be the first time.

I fixed up my shirt and pants before dragging myself over to the door. I opened it, only to be met with the visage of a certain high priestess of this Zebra cult. Susara, or as I like to dub her, Susi.

“Ah Susi, I was wondering where you ran off too. I certainly missed your presence for most of the day. You weren't even present during breakfast and lunch.” I greeted her with my trademark grin, which she returned with a simple smile of her own.

She bowed, as she usually does before finally addressing me directly. “I apologize for my day long absence, your highness. As a dedicated high priestess, I am obviously obligated to also do my part as a spiritual link for everyone who seeks the gods’ blessings or guidance. Basically doing a lot of ‘religious thingies’ as you like to call it.” She responded.

“Anyway, besides you doing your job, what exactly is it that leads you in front of my over-expensive door with way to much gold and far less wood exposed on it. There is certainly a reason why the call for your king is somehow stronger than your spiritual responsibilities.” I asked, going straight to the point for once as I personally just wanted to go back and watch my new Television program.

A program staring an egg, and the rather inconsistent glow it gives off when only looking at it from the right angle. Seriously this is going to drive me even more mad then I already am at some point. I want to know what that egg is and I want to know it now. At times like these I can really act or think like a complete immature child.

Never claimed to be perfect.

“Well...” She began, like how she always does. “I just wanted to personally inform you that the Idol has finally been carried back up to the surface. It has been currently placed in a random guest room along with the two Gazelle sisters at the western wing of the Palace. They are in fact waiting for you there. Little Steppes wanted to personally see you to ask you about something.” Susi explained.

This caused me to remember about the Idol again. This whole talk and mock about this mysterious egg had really diverted my mind from all the other more important events that transpired here. I also just managed to remember that I will have to attend another mass funeral for those who gave up their lives for the future of this quickly rebuilding nation.

Like seriously. I only gave the plans and orders to expand the city borders this morning, and a large sum of workings has already been organized to start digging on the outskirts of the city. Preparing the grounds for the necessary foundations to come.

I feel both proud of my little Zebra’s and also quite shocked at their level of dedication and ambitions. They would easily give the Chinese a run for their money, if not beating them to it entirely.

I eventually scratched myself back to the reality at hand before giving Susi the answer she desired. No matter the circumstances, I will always be prone to losing myself in my own thoughts in any situation. If there's any way in which I would most likely die from, it would certainly be this one.

Getting killed by a train of thoughts. Sounds rather fitting end for someone if I had to be honest.

“Sure...why not.” I casually replied without little fuzz or thought process.

I mean how can I even form more thoughts when I already did a lot of pointless thinking before while wasting everyone's time? A memoir of my life right here.

Though before Susi could reply, I turned my attention back to Aku behind me. “Say Aku, can you be so kind as to keep an eye on both the egg and Penelo while I go talk with the horny folk. Won’t take to long...or so I think.” I requested.

Aku nods. “No problem your highness, I can easily accomplish that.” He replied which finally gave me the freedom to skedaddle out of here to annoy both misses grump and lady submissive.

This should certainly be a great distraction to remind me again of the more important things which I should normally be more focused on.

“Well, you heard the man. Lead the way then Susi as I still have problems with navigating myself in this endless maze of hallways and outside courtyards.” I requested to which Susi nods.

“But knowing your way from the kitchen, to the dining hall and back to your own rooms seems to be rather easy for you compared to the rest.” She trollishly replied as she lead the way.

Snarky little chick. She has certainly learned a lot through my influence alone. I’m not a hundred percent sure if I like this or not. But either way, it doesn’t matter as long as she keeps it on a manageable level. Though beyond that...I might have to actually start introducing a “re-education program” to these Zebras if that ever happens.

Dark humor aside, the rest of the trip was again rather silent and uneventful. Not that either of us where shy or anything, its just that there wasn’t really a lot to talk about along the way. Plus, I was mentally too occupied on the egg again, which is why I almost managed to walk myself into a few pillars decorating the halls of the Palace, if it wasn’t for my own quick intuition and a warning call from Susi.

I can veer off quite easily to either the left or the right when thinking and walking at the same time.

The more you know.

“Alright, here it is.” Susi eventually stated after she stopped in front of a door. One very specific door in a hall filled with many. I am not even sure where all of these doors lead too. Maybe one will actually transport me to mystical land of Narnia if I explore these doors long enough. But I doubt that would ever happen, as I don’t possess the patience nor the energy to actually do that.

I fixed up my shirt for the second time in the past ten minutes before reaching out for the doorknob, only to stop when I realized my manners and knocked on the door instead.

There was some momentary shuffling coming from the other side afterwards, which in turn at least meant that this room was indeed occupied.

“Hold on.” I heard someone call out from the other side before more shuffling could be heard.

I just patiently waited. I know better then to just barge into a girl’s room without permission. Which is where I got my love of boobs from.

Ah yes, those melons. I still can’t believe that teens of that age could already sport such jugs. High School was certainly one crazy time for me, like getting tricked into the girls changing room instead of the boys. Good time, good times.

“Alright it's ready...I mean we’re ready.” I heard someone call before a set of clip clopping hooves could be heard getting closer to the door.

The door eventually opened, revealing the distinct visage of a certain submissive character, or as she is called, little miss Little Steppes of the Gazelle tribe, sister to the more bitchy side of her family, little miss Mystic Gem. Though why I’m telling this to anyone as if they have never met them before until now wis beyond me.

I still hold to the notion that my misadventures are going to be recorded or heard by someone in the future. Surly believing that doesn’t automatically make me into deadpool 2.0 does it? I am still beautiful...unlike him.

Little Steppes was expectantly surprised to see me at first, before quickly regaining her composure and giving me a quick bow. I am personally indifferent about this whole “bending over for me” thing. So for the most part I just let people do their thing as long as they are facing me when bending over.

I am still not yet prepared to get a face full view of animal genitalia just yet. The sight I was given with the two twins was good enough for me at this point. Though again, i am a bit curious about what those two fuckers are up to again.

Certainly something which would make my story not suitable for watchers. But let's not focus on that as I have a doe to address in front of me.

“Well hello there Little Steppes. I heard that little ol’ you was looking for me. So here I am. What is it exactly that has been bothering you widdle little mind that would warren me to get off my ass and walk over here? Not that I was sitting down to begin with when Susi here came knocking on my door to relay the news. But it's the principle which matters.” I greeted, before going on my usual unrelated rambles just to stall.

What I’m stalling for is not important. As long as I have a legitimate reason created in my mind to justify the actions I am taking it’s all good. Most of them are just trivial things anyway, like talking just to avoid the inevitable even further.

It’s something I got used too rather quickly during my early years as a school kid, and one which has stuck with me to this very day. So far it has been pretty good strategy in achieving my goal to procrastinating through life. But now I am most likely just wasting everyone’s time with this unrelated rumbling. So I will just stop. Especially when Steppes was about to finish off from whatever it was that she was talking about while I was busy being spaced out.

I blinked before scratching my head. “Uh...can you maybe repeat that again? I was kinda spaced out there for a moment.” I stated, which in turn made Steppes tilt her head in confusion while Susi just shook her head.

I am pretty good at this, but it also seems kinda trivial for someone who is tasked to rule a freaking nation.

Steppes was about to repeat herself before a certain other decided to do that job for her. “She was asking if we could maybe go home now with the Idol? We have been occupied within your city for far to long and wish to finally go home.” Mystic’s voice called out, before seeing her crawl out of her bed from around the corner of the room.

She still seemed to be a bit tipsy by the looks of it. Could be from the so-called “poisoning” she suffered from. But I obviously can’t be sure. Though she still looked as nicely decorated as ever. Those swirls around her body still present, along with her sky blue colored hooves.

If she and her sister didn’t stick out like sore thumbs before in a city filled with nothing but Zebras, Mystic certainly does now with her new complement of brightly colored body tattoos all over her...well, body. Though this also meant that she would most certainly be sticking out back home. But that is her problem, not mine.

I began to scratch my chin. “Ah, so the two of you just want to go home now that you two have your Idol? Speaking of which, where exactly is the Idol anyway? I certainly don’t see it around.” I asked while trying to peer deeper into the room from my position.

Mystic on the other end of the room sighed before grabbing a curtain and pulling it to the side, exposing the aforementioned thingy in all of its shining glory. Seriously, the thing still had that ethereal shine to it when you look at it a bit longer. Though obviously not as a noticeable in the middle of broad daylight.

I nodded. “I see, well if you are going to ask me for permission, then I certainly have no objections in letting you go off with your physical depiction of your god or whatever. I personally wish to move on from this topic as well, and finally focus more on expanding the city like how I originally wanted to before all of this started to happen. The sudden appearance of changelings was also completely unplanned.” I responded, also just remembering to myself that I will also have to talk with Palmyria as well at some point.

Maybe even today, after the funeral or whatever.

Little Steppes nods. “Well, thank you then your highness. Despite our original reasons of coming here, you still showed us great hospitality and tolerance despite the trouble we have caused, and even helped us to achieve something which we would have never dreamed off. For that, I’d like to personally thank you.” Little Steppes responded before giving me another respectful bow.

I just waved my hand in front of her. “Ah, no problem. It’s what I do. Even though my decisions really make no sense from time to time. Such ways of thinking are all part of my overall philosophy really. Whatever that means.” I answered.

A little tap on my chin though forced me to turn my attention to Susi, who then ushered me to get closer with her hoof, which I did after a few seconds of thinking.

“Are you sure that it will be okay to allow them to go home with a potent magical artifact? From what I can gather of our history, is that the Zebras of old and the Gazelles also used to be rivals in the past. We would just be empowering them if we allowed them to return with their Idol.” Susi asked with concern, which was kind of to be expected, as her concerns were not entirely false.

It is very much true that my decision in letting them go with the shining statue could very much end up to be a shot in my own foot. But I am also trying to act a bit more...diplomatic you could say, and hope that my act of generosity is actually going to bare fruits.

If not...well...then I will just have to rely on my good ol’ Deus Ex Machina to save my skin and that of Penelope’s as well. Oh, and the egg too, because why not.

I pucker my lips in thought before just shrugging. I guess that Little Steppes and Mystic have eavesdropped on Susi’s open concerns, because both of them looked fairly confused or even a bit suspicious.

I grinned, in order to defuse the fuse. “Well anyway. As I stated, feel free to leave the city along with your Idol whenever you like. Though of course, I won't be able to offer you any escorts or general help in getting you two back home with your magical Idol. We here have a lot of sorting out, rebuilding to do here on our own here. Same as you two I would imagine when you bring your reclaimed Idol back to your people. Especially you...” I pointed at Mystic. “You seem to be the most essential piece in the future of your race. If I look at you new markings correctly. Just seems to make sense that way.” I stated before rubbing my chin.

Mystic looked down at herself and noted her new exterior. Specifically her blue tinted hooves.

Little Steppes, on the contrary, looked over her shoulders towards her sister, before eventually witching her gaze back on me with her usual kind hearted smile.

“Anyway, thank you again for letting us go like this. We shall leave as soon as we can and no longer be a burden to you and your people. I will make sure to inform the tribe elders and our father of your generous help. I’m sure they will appreciate this as well.” Little Steppes again thank me.

I nod. “Sure thing. Anyway, if that is all then I guess I shall take my leave then so that the two of you can focus more on your upcoming departure. I have a lot of things to do as well. Like meeting with the changeling princess again for example. Or should I say Queen.” I announced before excusing myself.

Or rather I would have, if a certain gangster didn’t just call me out.

“Hey wait. What about the egg that spawned from the Idol?” Mystic shouted.

I began to think. “Well yes, the egg, I still have it of course in case you ask.” I responded before turning around.

“Well...” She began while stepping closer, or rather wobbling a bit closer.”...since the egg specifically came from the Idol itself. I would say that it more or less belongs to it, and should therefore be carted off to our lands alongside with Idol. It just seems right that way.” Mystic stated while giving me her usual glare.

This caused me to pucker my lips at her request. Personally I didn’t like it, especially when the egg was only summoned into existence when I made first physical contact with the Idol on my very calculated teleportation into the belly of the beast. But I guess it does make sense, given the Idol’s origin.

I guess giving it away would be the best. If not help with the diplomatic relationship even further by granting this to Mystic and her leading family. Plus, it would also mean far less responsibilities for me in the long run. God knows that I am already pretty full with my responsibilities in taking care of Penelope. That little girl can really be a handful, a bottomless pit, and a fire hazard. My fire hazard if I may add.

I hummed. “Weeeell...okay, I guess. Just for the sake of simplicity. I’ll head back to my chambers and get the oversize omelet maker. I’ll be right back then, just sit back and be happy.” I stated before attempting to take my leave for the second time.

“Actually...” Mystic began. “I'm going to come along with you instead. Just to get some feeling back into my legs from having been dormant for so long.” She announced before walking past her sister.

“Wait sis...you can’t even walk straight! Let me just go with him and...”She was about to offer before Mystic placed a hoof on her mouth.

“No thanks sis, and also, as I stated, I want to get some motion back into my legs. So stop worrying so much.” She stated before continuing on.

I just let Mystic be Mystic before leading the way back towards my room, which went just as smooth as you would imagine, which in turn, forced Susi to do most of the leading rather quickly.

We eventually reached my private chambers just as quickly as Susi and I have left it. I entered through, gave Aku a simply greeting who was in the middle of examining the egg even further while I was gone. I grabbed the egg from its oversized cushion and again gave it a little shake in between my hands just because.

I could have sworn that I saw a little tint on the eggs shell when I did so, but shrugged it off as nothing, especially with the open window I was facing. Just like any other day in these sun blasted lands. The day was fairly bright and very hot when you go outside. A typical weather for desert focused regions and the likes. Makes you question how the Egyptians managed to build their civilization on such an annoyingly hot region in the first place. But that is not the main focus of this topic. Rather, it was the egg which I was still holding in my hand and a rather tilted headed Gazelle next to me.

I pressed my lips together in thought for a couple of seconds before finally offering the egg towards Mystic who already looked a bit impatient.

“Well, here you go, the gold and silver egg of your Idol. Still not sure what it is, or what may be inside of it. But at least try to inform me in the future when it does hatch, as I would be quite interested to know on what might be inside this thing. Curiosity kills the cat after all, and I am super curious about it.” I explained before offering her the egg.

She nods. “Sure, I think either my mother or father could send a courier to your city to inform you of just that. If not them, then maybe me, as I am the oldest child of the tribe’s leader.” She responded before cupping the egg in between her forehooves.

What happened next though was quite unpredictable for everyone, even for me.

The moment I let go of the egg physically and handed it over to mystics opened hooves was the moment where the egg suddenly blink off from existence and immediately reappeared fully in my still semi opened hands which almost caused me to drop the head sized thing.

Everyone was stunt at this. Particularly Aku behind me, who immediately started to write something down on a piece of paper he must have kept inside his Babylonian style robes along with a feather.

I gave the egg a raised eyebrow, before handing it back over to Mystic who looked fairly confused. She did accepted the offer though, before the same thing happened twice with the egg disappearing from Mystic’s grasp and reappearing again in mine.

To say that this identical reaction from the egg was intriguing would have been and understatement. It was pretty clear that after the third and fourth try that the egg itself was not happy with the fact that I was giving it away to someone else to be carter of somewhere far away for some other purpose.

It wants to stay here, specifically close me its seems as it only ever appeared into my hands and not per say, Aku or Susi behind me. It could also be because that I am the only one who has their hands or rather appendages ready like this to catch or hold an egg. But whatever, as long as it can make me feel and seem more important than anyone else, it very much worked for me.

I am not yet power crazy, nope, not at all.

“Well...this certainly changed everything I believe.” I casually stated after the egg has warped back onto my hands for like...the fifth time already.

It was fairly clear that the egg doesn’t want to go anyway. Made even funnier when Mystic was giving the egg this child like glare with the puffed out cheeks and everything.

“Stupid egg.” She quietly stated which I was thankfully able to hear.

This certainly just made it even funnier then it should be. But alas, it was just a small moment of joy, because the egg suddenly began to glow and wiggle in my grasp.

Everyone was stock still at that moment. Expecting that the thing was suddenly about to hatched in the most magical way possible. Because from what I know, eggs don’t start to glow when hatching. Penelope’s egg hatched just fine so that was that.

Though our expectations were quickly dashed when the egg quickly began to calm down. The light around it faded and along with it the wiggling. A small chime like squeak suddenly came out of the egg before finally going still.

The room was silent afterwards. With the only sound coming from Aku’s furious scribbling on his piece of paper.

“Hmmm...I suddenly feel the need to put this egg back on its pillow and out of my hands. Strange isn’t it?” I casually stated before doing just that. Placing the thing back on its cushion and pretending that this never happened.

Hard to do when it literally just had an epileptic seizure. But who am I to judge?

“Well anyway, it seems the egg doesn’t want to go anyway Mystic. Though I guess that this would be a good thing for you and your sister respectively. As you two don't have to bother yourself in hauling a body sized statue back to your home along with an equally sizable egg. The less luggage, the better.” I casually stated, with my trademark grin back and in full force as it should be.

Damn I missed my trademark grin. It's just so wonderfully creepy or crazy looking for everyone. My jam.

Mystic sighted. “Oh well, whatever. Not like I wanted the egg to actually come along anyway.” She stated before casually trotting out of the room.

I guess that she can’t really take rejection to well. Judging by how childish she was acting. An interesting character quirk I have to say. But not the focus now.

“Well, that pretty much solves the issue then.” I stated before rubbing my hands together. “Anyway...uhm...Susi?” I asked while turning my attention to the aforementioned mare next to me.

“Uh...yes?” She responded after shaking herself back to reality.

“When is this mass funeral taking place? I’m positive that it will happen today. Or am I maybe mistaken?” I curiously asked before looking thoughtful.

Susi shook her head. “No, your highness, it IS actually planned to take place today in the Temple of the Dead. In fact, I better head back there now to help with the preparations and sanctification of the honored dead, before they can finally move on to the afterlife.” Susi stated before quicky excusing herself as well and cantering out of the room.

“Wait, in that case let me join you. Better for me to be there as well in case I forget about it again later. It is kinda important after all for me to be present.” I called after her before giving chase.

“Again Aku, just be a dear and keep an eye on both Penelope and the egg, will ya?” I called out before focusing more on my task in catching up with the priestess mare.

Today is going to be all gloom and doom again I’m sure. Funerals are always so...dramatic and sad...mostly sad, until the food arrives that is.

Chapter 33: Planning and Integration

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 34: Home return and Kinder Surprise

Edited by:Auron Solaris

“Alright, here is a cart to help you transport your Idol back to your lands. I would suggest strapping both of you onto it to make things easier in the long run. Wheels don’t work well in sandy ground and eventually the roads to the south will end at some point.
Which means that the two of you will be then forced to drag this thing through natural terrain for the rest of the trip. Just a little heads up on that.” Bakuss stated.

Little steppes nods. “Thanks, we will keep that in mind, and also thank you again for giving us this wagon freely. It is highly appreciated, not to mention the free provisions as well for our trip.” She happily thanked the captain of the guard as the aforementioned cart was brought into the scene. Being pulled right behind the shrouded idol.

Two guards where immediately attempting to load the Idol onto the cart afterwards, with Mystic’s very keen gaze keeping a very close eye on every movement they made. She was capable of leading the Idol onto the cart herself with the aid of her magic, but why do so when these Zebra’s insist of doing it themselves?

Unless when something goes horribly wrong and she is forced to step in. The Idol may be sacred but not indestructible sadly enough. Made quickly apparent during its transport to the surface, where a tiny piece of the Idols tail was chipped of on one of the cave walls when one of the changelings suddenly loosed his grip on it. An incident which almost gave mystic a heart attack when she saw it. Though she would be damned to ever openly admit that.

The stallions though managed to successfully load the idol onto the cart without any additional trouble. The springs on its wheels even sagging down a bit once the idol was perfectly nestled within the cart. A little extra padding added to smooth out the ride for both the idol and its drivers. A suggested design given by the king himself. Which is also how these two both got their free cart and provision in the first place.

“No need to thank me. These were all the Kings direct orders actually. But sadly, beyond that he couldn’t personally see you two off today. He has a lot more important meetings to attend to today so his schedule is already quite busy as it is. Especially regarding the changelings. Not too hard to understand I would say.” Bakuss explained.

Steppes just nodded. “Well yeah, we can understand. Also in that case please give the king our personal thanks then for everything. I am not sure if we would have ever gotten the idol or even learned about its whereabouts if it wasn’t for his tolerance and overall generosity. We have completely misjudged him, us and the rest of our kind back home.” She thanked Bakuss once more.

“No problem, and I will deliver your thanks to the king when I get the chance to do so. But for now. Now I suggest that you two be off while the sun is still over the horizon. Remember, traveling the desert through the night is a lot more comfortable during the day. Just make to make sure to make good use of the Blankets given to you so that both of you do not freeze your tails off while traveling at night. Other then that, I wish you both a safe trip.” Bakuss added.

Steppes nods. “Yeah, and again thank you so much for everything.” She responded in kind before switching her gaze to her sister.

“Well should we get going now?” She asked her older sister who simply nodded.

“Yeah, the faster we can get home the better in my opinion.” Mystic commented before being the first to make her way to the cart and strapping herself onto its harness.

Little stepped followed suit, taking her place next to her sister and doing the same. After everything was secured and checked for any form of discomfort, both Mystic and Little Steppes announced their final goodbyes after their promised provisions where also loaded onto the cart. The two then set off, passing through the south gate of the city and stepping out into the open fertile farmlands surrounding the metropolis.

Leaving both Bakuss and a few of his guards at the foot of the gate, to watch them slowly vanished off into the distance.

“Well...that is that then.” Bakuss eventually announced after the pair disappeared from view. “Time to head back to the Palace. We have a recruitment campaign to plan after all. If incidents like these are going to be a common norm from this point on then we are certainly going to need as many soldiers as we can get. Especially with old rivals such as the Minotaurs taking notice of our build up. This is just the start.” Bakuss announced.

His fellow guards nodded to that before following their captain back to the Palace. Bakuss predictions are sensible to make in such dangerous times. That is If the Minotaurs already managed to take note of the Zebra’s steady rise from their far off lands, then believing that others would be capable of doing so as well wouldn’t be too far outside the realms of possibilities to believe. It really is just a matter of time now. A waiting game to be exact. To see what could possibly come for them next and be prepared to face it.

Which is why recruiting more soldiers for their cause is certainly a requirement at this stage. Not just for the city itself, both hopefully from the other tribes as well along with their unique expertise.

Those are certainly going to be needed.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Strange...very strange but still...very interesting indeed.” Akunezzar muttered to as he looked at the egg with a thoughtful look.

His latest tests on the egg were certainly...something he didn’t anticipated, or rather, he kinda did, but still believed that the latter was going to happen rather than the former.

The egg didn’t crack or splinter when he hit it lightly with a hammer. A very dangerous thing to do, but it was all in the name of knowledge and science. Or rather that is what he kept telling himself to justify his rather brutish methods.

Though if the egg really started to crack, then he would certainly have a lot more issues to deal with rather then having a pre-hatched egg on his hoofs. He would also have to confess to the king about it at some point. An encounter he certainly did not look forward too if that ever happened.

He personally doesn’t know how —quote, unquote— tolerant the king really is when someone really “fucks up” as he likes to say it. But he certainly doesn’t feel like testing the patience that way just to get his answer. Rather it would be better if someone else would screw up for him so that he can see how tolerant or wrathful he can be.

But alas it didn’t matter as the egg was still fine after everything he had done to it. Good, because then it seriously proves that this was far from your typical egg either, nor dragon or otherwise. Any other egg he personally know off so far would have cracked long ago or showed slight signs of damage or wear. Even a bit of acid didn’t do anything, even when said acid had no problems in chewing a rather large hole through the floor.

He certainly still needs to explain that to the king when he gets back.

Akunezzar stroked his Babylonian beard. “Hmm...maybe I should just stop for now before I really go to far. Plus...” He looked over at the awakened Penelope in her crib babbling on. “...I should really call a servant over to take care of Penelope. I might be knowledgeable but I am also old. I can’t really take care of a young and quite energetic little youngling all by myself. Also I think it’s time for her feeding as well.” He quietly talked to himself as he watched Penelope’s widdy little claws wave above the cribs edge.

“I think calling for a servant is the wise thing to do.” He eventually decided before making his way towards the door. With of course making sure the egg is back onto its pillow where it belongs.

Though to be fair, if the abuse he had deducted on it hasn’t even put a scratch on its exterior then what else could possibly damage it at this point? The egg could be rolling down the massive cliff sides of the Palace its build upon and it still wouldn’t show any dents or scratches on its surface.

Or she Aku thinks. Though he obviously wouldn’t be stupid enough to actually try that. He is daring but not foolish.

“Just stay in your crib little one and don’t do anything while I go and quickly fetch a nearby servant to help you get fed. I for one should be close by in one of the rooms, so sit tight.” Aku openly stated before opening the door.

“Again, just stay there and don’t burn anything. It will only take a minute. I won't be far.” He added before finally stepping through the door.

Penelope of course had her own ideas of what to do once the old man was out of earshot. The little drake decided then and there that tumbling out of her crib was the best method of causing trouble for her over aged caretaker.

She flopped onto the floor with a tiny thud and then began to look around. Her emerald green eyes scanning the interior of the room before they eventually landed on the strange egg on the middle of the floor. She began to crawl to it, babbling a bit to herself and quickly reaching the edge of the large cushion the egg was resting on. Once there she once again began to gaze up at the strangely colored egg with a great curiosity and childlike wonder.

Well she is a child after all.

The egg then suddenly began to wiggle a bit. Its yellow stripes shining in a golden hue as a chime escaped from its innards. Penelope was understandingly mesmerized by this before clapping her claws together with a glee full smile. The egg seemed to respond to this with an almost laughing like sound as it continued to wiggle in place.

Penelope was ecstatic at this point. Clapping and giggling happily at the egg as said egg was doing the same. Or so it tried.

After a while though, Penelope had the urge to climb up the large pillow and crawl herself closer to the egg. There was little objection coming from the egg as she did so. Not that it would be able to do much in the first place.

Besides teleporting.

Once close enough, Penelope once again began to inspect the egg closely this time. Observing its yellow and silver texture and getting herself drawn by the eerie light it was giving off.

The egg on contrast was still. Not wiggling or chiming anymore. The only thing which reminded where shines of the golden strips it is decorated with. Shining every brighter the closer Penelope got to it.

She then started to reach out with both of her claws. Attempting to touch the egg for the first time as her overwhelming curiosity took control of her.

The egg in contrast was shining ever so brightly the closer her claws got to its surface. Once Penelope's claws first grasped the egg however the light around the egg quickly died down. Only for it to return in full force and brighter than ever before. The entire room was soon bathed within a golden shine, enveloping everything and anything within its space.

Penelope on her part was forced to close her eyes as she fell backwards onto the pillow. Strangely enough though, she was not feeling any fear or shock from this event. Rather just feeling somewhat surprised that this strange thing suddenly became brighter then the desert sun itself.

The egg began to crack. In between its cracked shell, more light was pouring out along. A chime like cry began to echo throughout the room. Coming directly from the egg as it began to form more and more cracks on its surface.

Soon, the pressure was to much and the egg finally shattered in a final explosion of light. Bathing the room in a white blinding light. Forcing even Penelope ro shield her large baby eyes.

Once the the glare finally subsided however, Penelope slowly reopened her eyes to see what the light has brought forth.

What she saw hovering above her. Giving her a curious look and then a smile left her speechless at first. Not that she can say much to begin with besides Dada. But she got over it, she started to smile up at her new...thing hovering above her as well. Clapping her claws together before reaching out for the newborn being.

The strange creature happily complied. Levitating the little drake off the ground and playing with her.

Akunezzar would never expect this when he comes back.

Chapter 35: Look what the easter Bunny brought me

Chapter 35: Look what the easter Bunny brought me.”

Edited by : Auron Solaris, Samallen

“I have to say, Susi, you Zebras are an impressive bunch when it comes to big city projects. Certainly the most dedicated individuals I have ever seen, both in real life and on the Internet.” I commented.

I, Susi, and even the new Queen have made our way to the outskirts of the city to watch the ongoing land preparation for this newly planned city block I have been wishing for some time now. Sadly, this meant that certain farmlands were going to be covered with dirt and sand while the fertile soil itself was moved somewhere else, basically relocating the affected farms further inland and digging out new channels to supplement these new farming grounds with both freshwater and the necessary minerals which the river also provides to keep the grounds nicely fertile for the whole year round.

This city and its farmlands actually acted as the desert's local breadbasket, which I wasn’t fully aware of until I thought about it.

It is actually kinda impressive how they do it, as this could also be the very method the Egyptians used to irrigate and cultivate their fields along the Nile. I am practically watching history unfold itself in front of me. Better than any program the History Channel or National Geographic channel has ever ejaculated onto the TV screen.

Because who nowadays was really going to start working like an Egyptian? Even if it was just for documental purposes. Decadent is the word, and humans of the modern era have truly become complacent with their lives thanks to the aid of machines and technology overall. I should know, because I am definitely one of those “complacent” people, maybe even more so now that I have to power to do so in an even more efficient way.

That is... if my newfound responsibilities as a King and a caretaker didn’t come knocking on my freaking door constantly every goddamn morning to foil my daily plans for procrastination. Quite literally, in fact, as I am not even allowed to sleep in anymore without a guard, a servant or a Susi giving my door a good spanking. I mean, what the hell has that poor door done to them? All it has been doing was acting like a freaking door by preventing chucklefucks like those from entering my room and disturbing my well deserved morning rituals. In fact, you probably don’t even want to enter my room while I am busy heeding to nature's call to arms to fight against morning wood and earlier day diarrhea. Because do as you wish, but eating and drinking dairy products for most of the day is inevitably going to slip through your system sooner or later. Same case for me, which is why I am not a stranger to irritated bowel emergencies.

This is probably a bit too much information for some to swallow, but alas, why are they reading my thoughts in the first place if they cannot handle my sense of disgusting humor?

Wait, what was I talking about again? Ah, yes, the whole preparing the ground thing outside the city limits to create perfect space for future building projects and extra housing. Because with every success and act of skill and strength I show to these Zebras, more and more nomads from the desert or steppes are tempted to come into the city to witness the rebirth of their ancient civilization first hand... or rather hoof.

Which is great, because those that do come are also most likely to stay after getting a taste of city life. And a higher population count also means more workers of course, or by Bakuss's plan, more potential soldiers to defend or help expand our lands beyond our current borders.

So, overall, expanding the city's living space is certainly a must at this point. And now here I am, watching these legions of workers do their thing in preparing the ground for construction because building anything on sand is apparently stupid. I can imagine.

Either way, during my mental ramblings to an invisible audience, Susi nodded to my comments as she too watched the ongoing hassle from afar, and being situated on one of the city's many defensive towers makes it pretty easy to do so. The view from up here is great, and also surprisingly windy.

Which is made even more surprising when you consider that the Palace itself isn’t that windy, even though it is the tallest structure in all of this city, situated on top of an almost 200-meter tall cliff and what not.

I began to scratch my chin as I started to picture streets and layouts of the city blocks for these new districts. Having played a lot of city building games during my time on Earth has given me a rather adept understanding of city planning.

Like how to minimize traffic with efficient road layouts. Granted, I doubt actual traffic is really going to be an issue in this city, given the fact that there aren’t any cars or trucks to clog up these roads, but in the future, there certainly could be a huge influx of pedestrians and carts instead of mechanized vehicles. Which is why the first thing I suggested to my regional architects is the construction of wide boulevards or avenue-like highways to act as the city's main travel ways from one district to the next, starting from the city's entry points and snaking their way all across the city's inner districts, before leading back out to different entry/exit gates of the city. Granted, this idea is going to require demolition of many existing structures and buildings to create such a wide space for those so-called highways to be built.

This is also why I am ordering the expansion of the city in the first place. To give the displaced a new and even better home at the shores of the Western river. Which, by the way, have no actual name and are just called the Western and Eastern river depending on which side of the city they are flowing through.

Kinda stupid and lazy, but it also gets the job done by giving everyone a pretty good idea as to where east and west actually are. I should know because even I have the issue sometimes in distinguishing the difference between east and west. Even with the rivers' helpful names.

But that is just me. I can be quite a disaster when it comes to very simple things such as these. Like also being unable to distinguish what left and right are. But of course, I managed to get that weakness fixed long ago.

“Your Highness! Your Highness!” Somebody suddenly called out.

This got my attention, of course, as I was forced out of my thoughts. I turned my attention to its source, only to be quickly met with a guard climbing up the steps leading into the interior of the tower.

He looked to be somewhat tired, probably because he ran all the way to me in order to deliver his message as soon as possible.

Or he is a smoker, who knows.

“That’s me. Being currently very high on top of a tower. Jokes aside, what is it?” I greeted, facing him.

He took a couple of seconds to compose himself before straightening himself up. He then fully addressed me as much as his current fatigue level allowed it.

“Your Highness, I bring urgent news, courtesy of Akunezzar himself. He discovered something which really needs your attention.” The guard stated in between breaths which made his news delivery methods rather unprofessional looking. Or rather, sounding, to be accurate.

Though I was still intrigued by this, no matter how many pauses he had to take in between sentences.

“Oh, and what might that be?” I asked before suddenly perking up with an idea. “Wait... has he, by chance, discovered the required components for a nuclear bomb? Finally, my inner Gandhi can finally live up to his name by threatening the world with world peace at the face of atomic annihilation! Truly, the only and most effective way of world domination!” I excitedly stated with a rather evil looking grin, which made both the girls and guys around me look at me in confusion.

“Uhm... Nuclear what, Your Highness?” The guard asked.

I waved my hand at him. “Unimportant. Anyway, if that isn’t the so-called urgent news, then what the heck is it? You can’t really expect me to just walk all the way back to the palace from over here? I have standards too, you know.” I stated, which in turn made Susi just roll her eyes at me.

She knew what I am talking about... sadly enough.

The guard paused for a bit before replying. “Well, Your Highness, it actually has something to do with the egg which you adopte...” He was about to finish before my rapidly processing brain cut him off.

“Wait... are you saying the egg has hatched?” I asked with surprise. “Why the hell haven’t you told me this sooner instead of... wasting our time by giving me the same greeting everyone else gives me when addressing me? The egg is much more interesting.” I stated, a bit angrily, in fact, which forced the poor guard to shut up.

To be fair, I wasn’t really angry at him, as everybody should already know that I am also a grand actor of life. The world is my stage and the creatures inhabiting it are victims for my mental and social experiments. A bit of a sociopath, if you will, but that is one big can of dog food I am not ready to open just yet. Because I lack the dog to actually feed it to. Maybe Penelope would be willing to eat dog food, but that would just be mean and disrespectful to her as a sapient being.

I might find a random Palace guard instead to eat the dog food then. No need to waste a good source of food, even if it's just for dogs.

I blinked back into reality when I realized that I was doing my typical thing again.

“No time for that. I have a new family member to greet and a new maid to babysit him or her for me because I cannot be bothered right now. So off we go, back to the Palace, to claim my prize of fish and mice!” I crazily announced in one single breath before strolling past the guard and down into the tower through the aforementioned stairs.

“Wait, Your Highness! What about the plan of talking with the local architects down at the contractions sites? You wanted to do that and also introduce the Queen to them! And maybe introduce the Changeling architecture to them!” Susi shouted after me while I was already on my way to spiral down the tower through the spiral staircase it has.

Quite the life-spiraling experience. If I went down it any faster, I might actually get dizzy from it judging on how many steps this stair actually has. This is a fairly tall tower, after all.

“It's fine, witnessing the creation of life is far more important than this. We, Changelings, have the same mentality to it with all of the nymphs hatching out of their eggs. It is very special to a lot of us.” I could hear Palmyria state before finally running out of earshot from the four-leggers still hogging the top part of the tower.

I may be a lazy ass, but when it comes to Kinder Surprises, I am always game. No, really, back during my childhood in Germany I was all crazy for these things, and I am of course talking about the one which encases a unique toy or collectible in a shell of chocolate.

Either way, back to the Palace, then, to see what wonderful Kinder Surprise I managed to get this time. More collectibles for my collection and more things to complain about later on when I once again realize that I had to walk this distance all by myself for a second time this day. I will remember that for sure as my feet will feel it later.

Having a sore foot is really uncomfortable.

.............................................................................................................................................

Akunezzar was too busy staring up at the... thing, to really start jutting down anything like how he would normally do. He still didn’t exactly trust the thing which levitated little miss Penelope all over the place. He once tried to stop it when he regained his composure after seeing this thing for the first time, but all he got for his efforts was a first-hand experience of how it feels to be lifted off the ground by an invisible force. The sensation luckily was only brief as he found himself being pushed back towards the door after he tried getting closer to these two.

His panic was quickly cleared though when he realized that all this... creature was doing was playing with miss little Penelope by making her fly around the room. The giggles coming from the small drake and the rather pleasing looking smile coming from the creature were good enough to guess that. Plus, so far the creature has done nothing else ever since he asked a guard to go fetch the King post haste. Though now it actually has been quite a while since the guard went out in search for the King. At this point, he was mentally getting anxious for something to explain this to him. He would normally be in the Royal Archives right about now, searching for this creature's specifics or possible details. But he obviously could not leave Penelope with this thing alone. No matter how drake-friendly it seemed.

“Akunezzar, sir!” Someone suddenly announced.

“Uhm, yes?...” Aku responded after turning around to address the newcomer.

It was none other than the same guard he sent off to go search for the King an hour or so ago. This realization gave Aku’s mind a sense of ease as this must mean that he has most likely succeeded in his task of finding the aforementioned monarch.

Good, because he could seriously use some company in trying to decipher what this creature actually was instead of just staring at it blankly. And just on time, the previously mentioned King and his group of followers finally rounded the far corner of the hall.

Good, because maybe he would be able to get close to this creature unlike him. The egg did choose him after all when he tried to give it away to Lady Mystic Gem. Or so he thought.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Oh, look at that. Aku is already expecting us. How quaint.“ I commented.

“Your Highness! Thank the Gods you are finally here! I have been anxiously waiting for you for almost an hour now, sire. The creature which has hatched out of the egg has been toying around with little miss Penelope this whole time, with neither me or anyone else being able to get close to it or her. Perhaps you could though, the egg did choose you from the start as far as I understood it.” Aku explained, sounding a tad exhausted and on edge judging by both his tone and state, his magnificent Babylonian beard looking a bit chaotic and messy by the looks of it.

But either way, neither his appearance nor emotional state did matter to me too much as I was far more interested in the information he has given me so far. The egg, the thing, and the relationship it and Penelope shared right now.

From a deep dark corner, a voice in my subconscious mind was making me feel a tad bit worried for Penelope’s wellbeing after Aku’s mentioned of it toying around with Penelo this entire time. But a much bigger part of my brain was casually telling me that everything should be A-okay with those two, otherwise Aku’s look and expression would have been more dramatic than it actually is and there would be a lot more guards present around my door.

So overall everything seemed to be alright so far. Which is good, both for my stress, and gemütlichkeit.

“Is that so?” I began, rubbing my chin. “Well, I guess it is once again time for me to save the kingdom or whatever. Gosh, being the hero of this story can be quite exhausting sometimes. Even for someone of my status.” I quickly added with a fake sigh before moving past the old hobo and making my way towards my door.

The one guard stationed in front of it obviously gave way as I approached.

“Your Highness, be careful there. It doesn’t seem to be hostile, but I would still advise caution. This being can apparently teleport things, as it has happened to me when I tried to get closer.” Aku warned.

“Ah, don’t worry. When it comes to toddlers I am the very form of caution. I know how to handle newborns and babies.” I stated, which wasn’t exactly a lie as I am naturally cautious around toddlers.

Those little bundles of fleas can be quite a handful with their constant pissing, shitting and even barfing. And let's not even get to the situation where these little things start to produce the most unholy screams imaginable.

But those aren’t really issues I have with little li'l Penelope here, as she is... quite... tame...

...Annnnd that’s where my thoughts stopped still when I finally came face to face with this so-called “thing” Akunezzar and the guard were talking about.

This thing, this... yellow and gray thing with two separate tails and a levitating exterior looked so incredibly familiar to me that I couldn’t put a finger on it. This is actually why I went so still, because I was to busy rummaging through my messy collection of unnecessary memories to get a perfect match for the image I was presented with in front of me.

A yellow bowl-shaped scalp with gray and yellow colored face, closed eyes, a large red gem thing at the center of its forehead, a small gray body and two separate tails that ended up with two...

“HOLY SHIT!!! I remember what this thing is!” I cried after my built-in search engine finally succeeded in finding the one tidbit of information I was looking.

“Really, what is it?” I heard Aku asking far behind me, which kinda almost fell on deaf ears as I was too busy reliving my childhood in my brain. Well... more specifically, my high school days, which weren’t exactly as tame as my normal elementary days, mind you.

But either way, my outburst finally got the creature's attention as it turned its gaze to me with its closed eyes. Not really sure if I can phrase it as a gaze or not, but fuck it, this is a gaze and go chew on a pickle if anyone has a problem with that.

But one thing was sure. With its full visage now facing me, tilting its head a bit in curiosity, I was one hundred percent clear with my assumption as to what this thing actually was. I mean, I should know, as he was one of the few Legendaries I ever possessed in any goddamn Pokémon game I ever played. Because trying to be the cool guy in class is one of the many necessary requirements when it comes to passing through high school without too many incidents along the way.

Maybe I should make my own Ned's Declassified guidebook where I list down all the “ACTUAL” requirements and tricks in how to really get through high school and not that nonsense crap the show spouted.

I shall call it “Alexander's Survival Guide For The Most Depressing Period Of Your Life”! I am sure it will be an instant hit, especially with those still suffering through high school worldwide. But I am just getting off topic again, so fuck it.

Either way, I still had to announce what this Pokémon was, but instead, I ended up singing the original pokemon theme while pulling out an Ash Ketchum right out of my shirt.

Finally, my dreams of making a butt load of cash with a rather questionable method can finally become a reality! I am going to be rich... well... even richer then I am now.

Hey, you seriously cannot have enough money, in the end, to submerge your woes fully. Money means power, after all.

Author's Note

Please read this first.

I know what you are all most likely thinking about the true revelation on what was inside that egg. You are either feeling indifferent, confused, or even thinking WTF after realizing who it is. And let me tell you, this is no going to end up with a big fat crossover.

Its just going to be the three lake guardians. No one else. Because I came up with a back story concept as to how these three can kinda fit into this world, specifically the Zebrican lands which this story mostly takes places on. At this current moment.

You see, for starters it is pretty clear (or so I think, if I have made references to that in previous chapters) that the continent is pretty much divided in three prime biom’s. The deserts to the north, the savanna like steppes at the center, and with the thick misty jungles to the south. Of course their are a lot more geographic features on this continent besides these three. Like lakes, (could be made something for these three) canyon’s and mountains to name a few.

It is just that these three land features are by far the largest on the continent, and could also be tight up by some sort of historical or perhaps even supernatural connections with these three spirits. (Uxie being desert)

But that is not all. In a later chapter I wrote (because I am faster then my editors.) I hinted that these three may also have ties with some of the old powerful artifacts which once belonged to the ancient line of Monkey Kings in the past. Such as the Phoenix crown for example. One that can give its wearer eternal youth and some other effects when actively worn. Incredibly powerful artifacts which where once guarded by these three.

Plus I also have an idea as to why Uxie’s spirit was sealed away inside the Idol in the first, and also why the Idol was taken away from the Gazelles as well.

All to add a little bit more backstory lore...which has been kinda void up until now. With most of them only being suggestions of the past, and speculations from Alex.

Then again, he never really gets the time to fully explore the history of these lands without getting distracted one way or another.

But overall. I have ideas for this. But of course, if most of you feel that this is getting a bit to messy at this point, just tell me. I can remove the concept of having the lake Guardians and place something else inside this egg.

But if not, feel free to share your own ideas on what the overall role for these three can be. I might pick those instead if they are good.

Chapter 36: A Silo of stress

Chapter 36: A silo of stress.

Edited by: Samellan

“Uxie, can you please behave and stop circling everything you pick up with your telekinesis around my head? I know that you are curious and trying to test your abilities, but please tone it down so that I can focus more on the ongoing land preparation. And I love looking at a large number of people digging dirt and moving that dirt somewhere else. It's like watching paint dry, but a lot more relaxing and interesting at the same time.” I stated, subconsciously swapping Penelope’s claw away from my shirt's left sleeve for like... tenth time this day, a move that didn’t phase Penelope too much as she then simply switched to chewing the tip of her tail instead of my shirt.

I should probably start thinking about getting a big fat pacifier for her to nibble on if this is not going to stop anytime soon, though I personally doubt that any pacifier that ever existed there will survive for very long, thanks to those pin needles for teeth she has in her mouth.

But whatever. Uxie, on the other hand, actually listened to me as he did finally calm down. Funny for him to act so wild besides being the so-called the Spirit of Knowledge as far as I remember. Though then again, he did just hatch out from an egg yesterday. So basically he was still a toddler as far as I know.

One that can fly and levitate shit no less.

By the way, I, Penelo and Ux-man are now standing right in front of the ongoing land operation outside the city, in case someone is interested to know that. Besides me and the two kids, there were also Susi along with four Palace guards to guard my sorry ass. One of which was even carrying a large parasol to shield me from the hot midday sun while another was fanning me with a large palm leaf to keep my hot body nice and chill.

A wonderful combination to have in the middle of a desert, especially with the added chair provided to me as well to rest my aching legs. Having to walk all the way from the Palace to here is really a test to my untrained computer chair legs in a place which uses nothing but stairs for even the tiniest elevations.

I really hate stairs, I really do.

“Da Da Da!” Penelope suddenly babbled as she started to reach out towards the Uxie floating next to me. Uxie in turn just gave me a rather curious, but patient looking smile while pointing at the little drake on my arm.

I already knew what he wanted to ask without even openly asking for it as I casually handed Penelope over to him. This is actually pretty good as I technically now had the best nanny that Lady Luck could've barfed at my face. A Legendary keeping an eye on my little baby drake, better than any guard or female servant let me tell ya.

“Are you sure it's okay to... give Penelope to... uhm... what did you call it, Uxie?” Susi asked as she looked at the pair levitating in front of me.

I waved my hands dismissively. “Ah, don’t worry. In fact, I somehow have a feeling that she is going to be a lot safer with him then she would be with anyone else, thanks to his abilities and whatnot. Plus, he really likes her as well.” I casually answered before focusing back at the scene in front of me.

Though not for long, as my legendary short attention span once again reared its ugly head.

“Say... can you really understand me, or more importantly can you even see me with your eyes constantly closed? Just curious... for SCIENCE'S sake.” I suddenly asked completely out of the blue.

Uxie as a response first looked at me somewhat blankly, or as blankly as someone can look when their eyes are obviously closed. But after a while, he nodded, which in turn answered my question rather quickly.

“Interesting, for you to understand us so early in life. Like, really early. But hey, you are the Spirit of Knowledge after all, or so I hope, for my ego's sake and my own limited knowledge of Pocket monsters in general. It has been years after all.” I stated.

This caused Susi to perk up. “Say... why do you keep mentioning the term ‘Pocket monster’ whenever you talking about Uxie? I doubt that this creature can really fit in anyone’s pocket easily, judging by his size.” She asked, which was honestly bound to happen sooner or later.

Because this world hasn’t obviously been blessed with the Japanese anime plague like how my world has, pushing the waves of really colorful and ridiculous looking hair along with over dramatic poses and expositions. Filthy hentai loving tentacle jerk-offs.

“Well...” I began. "That is a long and very confusing story. Trust me, the meaning behind that name is just going to lead up to even more questions than it actually answers. Maybe even leading to some rather cruel sounding concept, depending on who you ask.” I responded.

“Well, alright. In that case, I won't pursue this question for too much longer. Though I still ask myself as to how you even knew what this creature is and even its species. It is quite surreal in a way, but so are the Gods and nature.” She stated, sounding a tad disappointed.

It was true, by the way. All I really did yesterday was singing a song that none of the Zebras ever heard before then addressing Uxie via both his name and species without much explanation. The only one who seemed rather thoughtful at the end of it all was none other than Aku, who then quickly excused himself and fucked off to somewhere, while I was thinking on all the money grabbing possibilities I had with having a Pokemon.

That is... until I realized that THIS wasn’t the Pokemon world at all for my schemes to actually work.

Damn, and here I was already looking forward to just rip off tiny kids, bug catchers and bitchy rich boys of all of their money. It was going to be so easy, just spam potions and OP moves all day and let the limbs fly. Even though Poke's only faint when beaten to a pulp. But hey, my inner Kefka can dream now can he?

With that little random thought finally out of the way, I began focusing my attention back at the spectacle in front of me. Basically watching a real-life documentary about ancient techniques and whatnot. This might be a surprise to some, but I really do love history. Which is actually one of the only subjects worthy enough for me to even drag my ass to the living room to watch some TV on an actual TV set. Like NatGeo and stuff like that.

I stretched my arms after a while before sighing. “Ahh... sitting around in the middle of nowhere with two floaty things obstructing my front view is certainly one way to kill some time. When was the last problem I had to face, which in turn forced me to do my actual damn job? Ah, yes... it was roughly just a few days ago when the changeling debacle finally resolved itself. It's nice to finally relax for a while without much to think or to worry about. Just wait, and see, and hope for the best for the fordable future.” I happily commented, leaning back against my rather sizable wooden chair and crossing my legs into a much more comfortable position.

Though my bullshit sense quickly told me that something was about to happen soon to break this sense of serenity and tranquility. I can feel it in my bones and it was making me... quite itchy in my nether regions.

This... is a sign.

“Actually..." Yup, a sign. ”...There are the newly arrived news about some issues brewing somewhere far to the south where some of the most powerful Zebra tribes are. It could be worth keeping an eye on that, especially since not all of the tribes have fully accepted you as the new Monkey King.” Susi announced, finally reminding me of the fact that not every single head honcho out there has fully accepted me, basically making the goal of re-creating the Empire of old momentarily impossible.

Stupid, but true. Especially since it was thanks to the diverse expertise of all the different tribes out there which even allowed the ancient Monkey dudes of old to forge an Empire in the first place.

See what I meant when I said that this world seems to be operating with video game logic sometimes? An exciting revelation for the likes of me, but still rather silly for the more logical side of my personality. Which isn’t exactly that big in case some of you are wondering about that.

I grumbled. “Way to go to ruin the mood, Susi. I was perfectly ignorant about that reality before you reminded me of it. Some assistant you ar...” I was about to complain before a sudden commotion stopped me from doing so.

We all turned our heads to its source, only to be met with a large sandstone silo slowly shifting to one side from its base, basically signaling the fact that this rather tall looking structure was about to collapse, right on top of a farmhouse no less. Which still looked to be occupied, judging by the rolls of rags and blankets neatly packed in front of it.

It certainly wasn’t too long before everyone else noticed this imminent disaster before it seemed too late. Screams began echoing from the aforementioned farmhouse which truly signaled the fact that someone was indeed inside of it. An elderly Zebra by the looks of it as I could see her peeking outside her window to witness her incoming death.

She certainly seemed to be too old to run out of dodge while most of those who could help her were too far away to do so.

“By the Gods, that silo is going to destroy that house and kill whoever else is inside of it!” Susi commented, which was just brilliant on her part.

I was about to comment on her rather “intelligent” exposition when I suddenly found myself being trusted with the body of a certain baby drake before seeing a bright flash going off next to me.

I was momentarily blinded by this, of course, as I mumbled a couple of swear words under my breath to alleviate the sudden pain in my retinas. Though once I was able to see past the fog, I was immediately greeted with an Uxie floating right in between the hovering silo and the dainty little farmhouse under it.

The gem on Uxie's forehead was glowing brightly with energy, the same glow which also enveloped the silo as he seemed to be holding it at bay with his psychic powers, though he also seemed to be struggling a bit, judging by his outstretched hands and pained expression.

I'd say that the little guy needs some training if the circumstances would have been different, especially when everyone around me still seemed to be frozen from the event in front of them. Minus Penelope, of course, as she is a bit too young to give a fuck.

“Well... what the fuck are you all standing here for? Go help evacuate the house or whatever!” I ordered which snapped everyone out around me out of their daze.

Two of my four guards did as I suggested and dashed off towards the farmhouse to join the only recently arrived group of workers to both pull everyone out of the house and to throw ropes with hooks attached to them onto the roof and midsection of the silo to help Uxie with pulling it back into place and preventing it from crushing the house.

Not sure why they would try and do so, but alas, it is their silo, not mine. Personally, I would think that just allowing it to fall onto unoccupied ground would be easier and less energy consuming. But again, not my issue.

“Just a day old and already trying to be the local hero of the people. They really do grow up fast these days, it's almost too beautiful to be true.” I commented with a fake sniff and tear as I watched everyone pull the uprooted silo back into place before securing it down with the same ropes that were used to pull it back.

This was true though. Babies these days really do grow up quickly, then it obviously means that I don’t have to “baby” them for too long which allows myself some more free time because of it.

The fewer responsibilities I have to perform the better for me and everyone else. Most importantly, the kids, as I am considered to be a terrible source of influence by some. Kinda true as I did accidentally create cousins who adopted my overall antics and characteristic behaviors.

Though it was funny.

“Hmm... well, enough lollygagging, for now, I guess. Time to see what exactly was the cause for this sandstone made dildo to shift out of its foundation anyway. I mean, a silo doesn't just randomly decide to fall over on top an old lady's house without some cause, after all, though I already might have a good idea as to why it happened. But it's better to be properly informed than just pulling shit right out of my ass. Which I usually do only during morning rituals. Such is life inside a mortal body.” I lengthily stated before pushing out of my chair.

This got Susi’s attention. “Wait... are you really going to go over there while the silo might still be unstable? It could be dangerous to approach!” She worriedly stated.

I dusted my pajamas off while replying. “Ah, don't worry too much about that, dear old Susi. It's going to be fine. Trust me. Nothing will happen.” I simply responded before strolling over to the almost-disaster site.

Famous last words, and judging by how trollish the universe can act around me this might actually be possible. Though, I am very good at trolling the universe in turn. You can’t bite me in the ass so easily, you are not the only one with teeth after all.

“Oh, and by the way,” I announced before looking at the two remaining guards holding both the parasol and palm leaf respectively. “You two, of course, will have to come along and continue to do your jobs as portable sunscreens. This heat is neither good for my skin, nor my enthusiasm.” I added.

The two guards simply nodded before following me off to the disaster zone where shit almost happened. Susi, of course, was not far behind. As was expected.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Ahh... so that is what happened, then,” I stated, rubbing chin.

My hypothesis was proven true: the digging and moving of farmland have destabilized the silo’s foundation. I guess, installing some overseers with a little bit more brain would certainly be a good precaution in order to keep incidents such as these from happening again.

The few local architects don’t seem to be enough for that.

“Well, yes, Your Highness. We certainly need to be more careful from now on if we want to prevent such disaster from happening again. If it wasn’t for this... strange creature over there then things would have certainly turned out a lot worse in for this house and the old couple living in it. Thank the Gods for that!” One of the aforementioned architects commented while pointing a hoof at Uxie who was just floating there.

The little guy looked quite exhausted by the looks of it, which was kinda understandable for a day old kid. He certainly needs to train his abilities some more if he wants to increase his mental stamina. Having a psychic Pokemon under my banner would certainly be useful. Just like with everything else in life, I am planning to fully capitalize on this opportunity to its fullest potential.

With power comes great responsibility, my ass. If this was the Pokemon world, then I would surely make use of his power to its full money-making potential.

Those trainers are going to go back home with nothing but their loincloths on. Girls will be able to keep their bras as well, of course, I am not a pervert after all.

Though those thoughts were quickly interrupted when I eventually noticed that Uxie was slowly making his way to me.

I actually had to catch the little guy mid-flight when he suddenly collapsed into my arm. The one which was obviously free and not currently occupied by a sleeve chewing drake of destruction.

I must look really ridiculous right about now with two toddler-sized beings on both of my arms. One is a living flamethrower and another is a displaced looking creature from another franchise. Not that I am complaining, of course. Of all the eight hundred or so Pokemon that exist within Game freaks' shit stained panties, I get the legendary trio that I like the most. Well, one of them at least. But it seriously wouldn’t surprise me if the remaining two were here somewhere. Probably in eggs too, similar to nerdy boi here.

Oh, boy, all of this knowledge and events was really starting to stress me out. A feeling which I both hated and dreaded so much with every fiber of my being. I hate stress, who doesn’t?

I need another vacation and fast.

“Okay, that’s it.” I declared boldly and very loudly which caused those closest to me to jump in shock at my sudden outburst.

Except for Susi who was pretty much used to my unpredictable antics at this point.

“What is it?” She curiously asked.

“Simple...” I started by raising a finger in the air, and almost dropping Uxie because of it.

I struggled for a couple of seconds to keep his body steady before continuing. “It is time to head to the south and deal with this... whatever you mentioned earlier and be done with this stressful life within this city. It is time for another road trip, plus this would also give me the excuse to travel to a completely different corner of the continent as well, not just staying in the dry and arid part of these lands. I always wondered what the southern steppes actually look like, and this would give me the perfect opportunity to satiate my curiosity. Killing two birds with one stone, basically.” I stated.

Susi was, of course, a bit skeptical at first before just shaking her head at my presented line of reasons.

“Random dude number 1764. Can I trust you to go hire a couple of more overseers to keep this operation going smoothly? My people need me to the south, and they can’t obviously wait for their monarch to show up and be all glamorous or whatever. That, and to fix an issue that has been brewing down there. Can you do that?” I asked the unknown architect next to me.

The stallion nodded. “Well... yes, of course, Your Highness. In fact, I already know a couple of colleagues who can fill in that role perfectly. Maybe even recruit some of those new Changelings living in the city to act as eyes in the sky as well? Overall, it shouldn’t be too hard.” The un-named stallion responded.

This made me smile before turning my gaze back at Susi. “Well, it seems to be settled then, Susi. We are going on a road trip to finally see something else other than sand, stone, and sandstone all day. Ooh, this is going to be so... colorful, or at least green if we are talking about steppes.” I stated before sauntering off back towards my chair, the two sunscreen guards following me of course.

Did I ever mention that I hate sweat? Well, if not, then now you know. All of you invisible people out there that I can’t see.

I halted. “Shit... who is going to take the chair? I mean, my hands are completely full now, as you can all see. So...” I wondered before looking around for anyone who could carry this wonderful chair back to the Palace where I got it from in the first place.

Strangely enough, though, the previously sent duo whom I earlier tasked with assisting with the evacuation was nowhere to be seen it seems. Not here, not with me, and certainly not at the farmhouse behind us and the re-secured silo next to it.

“Hmm... I think we got ourselves some strays. Probably snuck off to go have a beer in the closest pub or something. Nevermind, I have enough guards to choose from to really care about two of them going astray to get smashed or whatever. Though that still leaves me with a dilemma.” I carelessly stated before looking at the remaining trio behind me.

One was carrying a parasol, one was holding up a palm leaf above his scalp, and another was doing jack shit besides just standing there and looking pretty.

“Susi!” I declared with a grin, “Could you be a dear and help me get this chair back up to the Palace, please? As you can see, I have my hands full.” I requested, which in turn made Susi’s eyes go wide.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Hmmm... this is... interesting,” Aku mumbled to himself while reading through a really old scroll.

“Apparently this creature the King now possess is only one of three which have been sealed away within these lands for some unknown reason. The first written evidence about them is dated by the very first Monkey King. Acting as guardians to ancient and powerful relics, one of which is the Phoenix Crown itself. Very curious.” Aku commented to himself, before stroking his beard in thought.

For him, one question still remained. If the aforementioned Phoenix Crown was one of the artifacts that these beings once guarded, then what could possibly be the other two items that are described to be items of great power?

He knew what the Phoenix Crown was capable of: gifting its wearer the immunity of fire and the passage of time. Even downright immortal when worn.

If the traditional crown of all the Monkey Kings of the past had such capabilities, then Aku could only imagine what the remaining two items could do.

Immortality was already top tier enough, what could possibly be above that?

Chapter 37: A trip south

Edited by: Samellan

“Ahh... A nice stroll through country road can be quite a relaxing experience. Seeing new landscapes and finally getting out of my house to get some fresh colors into my retinas. I think I am beginning to understand what these Americans meant about the “American dream”, driving down the highway without any care in the world. Absolutely perfect.” I commented before laying back against my seat inside my million euro worth Rolls Royce. A car which has everything, even a built-in back scratcher for all your scratching needs.

But besides that, driving down a wide open road between fields, hills and wide forests is certainly something. Watching the wide open plains and hills pass by me as the warm summer breeze rushes through my hair from the opened car windows is certainly trance-inducing. Even my personal gorilla of a chauffeur was doing a fantastic job of keeping this ride smooth and steady, basically allowing me to fully enjoy my coffee without risking the risk of dropping a single drop of my gold-brown brew onto the buffalo leather seat I was sitting on.

This leather was more expensive than some people's kidneys, which would make it a disaster if these rare and overpriced skin pieces ever get stained by 80-degree hot coffee.

The way humanity determines its material values is quite maddening when you think about it. A piece of dead skin costing more than a pimped up Mac Pro... The logic is just nonsensical.

“Hey, George, could you maybe pull up to the nearest gas station? Nature calls, even in such a peaceful dream it seems.” I requested to which my chauffeur just grunted with a nod.

It unsurprisingly didn’t take too long for a desirable gas station to come into view after the next wide turn. George, of course, noticed it as well as he gently slowed down the car and pulled it onto the exit lane which leads to the gas station itself.

Once the car stopped I immediately stepped out of the machine and made my way to the public bathroom which most gas stations have. It was kinda surprising to see just how clean and serene this public bathroom was, despite being a so-called public bathroom. Usually, these places have a much higher contamination level then the Exclusion zone you find around Chernobyl, which is certainly saying something for a place which is meant to be publicly used by everyone.

On second thought, this might not be such a bad idea, considering what all the possible kinds of visitors these places attract. But hey, this is a dream, after all, so miracles such as this one can, or rather will happen eventually when my mind wants too.

Like how a certain Uxie was suddenly just floating right next to me, doing the same thing as I did: relieving itself into his own urinal next to mine, despite my personal knowledge I had that he normally shouldn’t be able to thanks to his lack of actual genitalia.

Legendaries are genderless after all.

“Well, hello there, Uxie, didn’t know that you were here to take a piss too. Are you may be traveling through the countryside as well? Or are you just here to invade my dreams?” I greeted the yellow-headed pokemon next to me as I unzipped my pants.

Uxie nodded. “Yeah, I am actually invading your dreams out of curiosity. I just wanted to test if I could do so without you really noticing it. But I guess I failed at that part.” He stated sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck.

He then eventually turned his gaze to me, showing off his dirt-yellow colored eyes and giving me that awkward little grin.

I was about to panic before I realized that his memory wiping gaze didn’t work on me somehow. Then again, this is just a dream, so I guess that his mind punching gaze has no power here.

Though that still left me with another issue I had with all of this. That being the facts that, one: Uxie was actually invading my personal mind space somehow. And two: That he had actually and verbally responded to my question, instead of just giving me his usual nods, grins, smiles or tilted expressions.

I pointed my finger at him. “Wait... did you just...” I tried to ask before everything around me suddenly began to fade away. A noticeable sign that my own personal vacation through a dreamscape countryside was finally over. It was time to wake up, it seemed, which was a tad bit depressing if I had to honest.

Uxie, on the other hand, just gave me one final wave before even his image faded away from my vision.

Goodbye, George, I guess I will see you next time. We still have a road trip to finish after all and a very expensive car to eventually drive off a cliff just for the lols. Just because something is expensive doesn’t mean I can’t break it.

I am a man of my craft, which isn’t a lot to be fair.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Ooh.” I moaned as I slowly woke up. The light swaying of the carriage was the first thing I noticed when I finally returned to full consciousness, along with the distinct sounds of wooden wheels rolling on a road.

Everything on me kinda ached, which was mostly thanks to the fact that I was sleeping all curled up inside a somewhat tight spaced carriage which my body was obviously not used too. The pillows and built-in cushions that this thing had were nice, but apparently, my luxury spoiled body was not thinking the same way, showing its displeasure by giving me a mild case of “the sore bones” when I began to stretch my limbs. A sensation I haven’t felt in years if I had to be honest.

But alas, it didn’t matter. Especially when the first thing I saw when opening my eyes was a questioning-looking Uxie staring down at me.

I raised an eyebrow, which in turn caused him to tilt his head before smiling and chuckling to himself, before giving me the personal space I needed to push myself up. In a sitting position, of course.

I scratched my head. “Wait... were you REALLY inside my dreams just now?” I asked Uxie.

The Pokemon just nodded, giving me a friendly wave similar to the one he gave me in the dream before flying out of the carriage window and disappearing somewhere outside, leaving me and a still sleeping Penelope inside it.

I scratched my head, looking around myself with sand-encrusted eyes which in turn prompted me to clean them out first. Stupid sandman and his stupid sand.

Or this could possibly be because of all the sand that is literally around us. Yesterday was a bit of a windy out in the dunes when we left the city in the morning, which could also be the main cause why I have too much freaking sand in my eyes. Also probably because of a staring contest I had with Penelope but unable to see who even managed to win, thanks to the convenience of sand being blown into someone's eyes. The nerve of the Mother-Nature!

“I really need a coffee now,” I muttered to myself after the issue with my eyes was taken care of.

It was then when a certain Uxie suddenly reappeared back into the carriage with a Mug of coffee within his telekinesis. Not just any mug of coffee, mind you. But THE Mug of coffee, the one I originally came with to this world, with the wonderful emote and slogan underneath.

“A derp a day keeps the trolls at bay.” My trusty novelty mug from the local Korean knick-knack store in my hometown. The one who has served me well, both as a day to day companion and even as a lifesaver, back when I confronted a gang of poachers and saved a pack of lions and even Penelope down here from their mischievous deeds.

Good times, goooood times. Minus the near-death experience, of course.

“Ooh, now isn’t that resourceful.” I happily stated with a smile before taking the mug.

Uxie on his part just smiled as I took the first tentative sip of my well-deserved morning brew, which immediately cured any morning discomforts I was feeling at the moment, including the morning wood which may or may not has been there. It could have also been just the thick fabric of my Pajamas, but then again, who cares.

“Ah... nothing beats a fresh mug of coffee in the morning. Say... where exactly are we?” I stated before pulling the curtains to my left open to have a peek. And wouldn’t you know it, my previous predictions were right as the carriage indeed was moving through the ever expansive landscape of the Zebrican desert. Sand dunes as far as the eye can see, along with a couple of rock formations and even a distant oasis if my vision serves me right.

You can never be too sure about water in a desert, after all.

“Oh, Your Highness, you're awake.” A voice suddenly stated.

I hummed, looking down at its source and spotting a random guard trotting alongside the carriage I was sitting in.

Time to start a random conversation with a guy I have never seen before. “Well, yes, of course. But also, where exactly are we now?” I asked the fully geared and armed guard below me.

He looked a bit thoughtful at first before replying. “Well, we are actually pretty close to reaching the very edge of the desert and finally entering the more fertile steppes to the south. In fact...” He pointed one of his hooves to the front of him. “...you can actually see the natural border which separates the dry deserts with the more greener grasslands in front of us. Right at the very edge of the horizon.” The guard added.

This, of course, made me curious as I poked my head through the open window to see what the guard was pointing at. And true to his word, I could actually see a rather dramatic looking boundary between the desert and the plains far into the distance. The lands just cut off in a very distinct line, the sand of the desert being on one side and the grassy plains on the other. Giving me an image I never knew I would see in a place which is mostly dominated by sand.

I am just saying that to be dramatic, of course. I know that such sights do exist in these lands thanks to everyone spouting about the geographic diversity this continent has, mostly consisting of nothing but deserts, steppes, and thick jungles.

“Well, call me a kangaroo of a hooker's mother, the steppes truly are right there in the distance. What a marvelous sight it is to finally see a different color instead of just yellow.” I commented out loud, which in turn caused the guard below my window to tilt his head in confusion.

“Call a kangaroo what now?” The guard asked, totally confused by my random statement.

“Nevermind that. Say... where is Susi? Shouldn’t she be up already to pester me or something?” I asked when I realized that is was already midday, judging by the position of the sun.

The guard tilted his head. “Uhm... you do know that she isn’t with us this time, Your Highness? Her duties as a High Priestess only allow her to travel with you around the city itself, not beyond it. She can't distance herself too far from the Temple.” The stallion explained, reminding me of this unfortunate fact.

“Oh, yeah, right. I totally forgot that.” I mumbled.

Now that I thought about it though, none of my usual companions are with me today due to personal duties or issues. Susi and Aka are obviously busy with their jobs as High Priests at their respective temples, while Aku is grounded with his job as the local steward of the city whenever the King (which is me) isn’t present. While the newest member of this “leaders team,” Palmyria, was also too busy with her own issues back in the Hive to really give me some company. And of course, there was little ol' Bakuss, too, who was currently busy with bolstering up the city guards with new fresh members.

All of my usual crew were back at the city doing something. Which of course was a good thing, as this means that my personal intervention of day to day affairs isn’t exactly required. Unless someone actually needed me to put my final say on any particular subject.

My future is safe because of that. Safe to procrastinate to my heart's content and to just eat and sleep all day. Oh, and be a part-time dad and a part-time Pokemon trainer as well. Let's not forget that.

Speaking of which, I wonder what these two were doing now. It would be surprising to think that Penelope might not be awake now, especially when I could clearly hear her giggling voice echoing from inside. I pulled my head back into the carriage to see what could possibly be the cause of her happiness. Unsurprisingly, it was because of Uxie, who was levitating my little girl all over the interior, making her fly like a bird.

This looked strange but also somewhat funny as well. Two separate bodies flying circles around the roof of the carriage, one a basic drake and another a misplaced looking critter from another franchise.

Well, the fun only lasted for so long until one of Uxie's long tails accidentally flew past my right hand, which in turn, caused me to let go of my trusty mug of coffee. Time slowed down around me as the mug fell onto the carriage floor, spilling all of its content on the expensive looking wood and giving me a small but also slow heart attack from seeing this process at heartbreaking slow-mo.

Once time resumed though, my eyes immediately went wide at the disaster I had just witnessed. My enthusiasm was all gone at this point. The day was done. There's nothing worse for a dedicated coffee lover like me then to see the spilled remains of my morning brew seeping through the gaps of the floor. Out and away, and most importantly, not where it should be.

All I did at that point was scream my lungs out, causing the entire caravan to halt with a jolt and guards to rip the carriage doors open, ready for the worst. Which was the worst, at least for me.

Penelope, of course, was just giggling her ass off at this scene while Uxie was busy hiding behind a rather large pillow on the other end of the carriage.

Because he knew he fucked up. Big time.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Ahh... I may be a couch potato. But even I have to stretch my legs sometimes. Plus, I also need to take a piss. So this little break was definitely needed.” I commented out loud as I stretched to get my lazy old bones in motion.

Old in a metaphorical way, not literally, of course.

But, as I stated, the caravan has made a little pit stop along the beaten road for resting purposes. Right in the middle of these Savanna lands, which was kinda nice. Why nice, you may ask? Well, the view, of course.

Because the herds of Elephants in the distance along with some Giraffes here and there were certainly not an everyday sight for you to see when you spend most of your time sitting around in an oversized Palace. Animals you would usually only see in Zoos or TV, but here, they're all real, free, un-caged and certainly holding the possibility of just charging or trampling you to death for no real reason if they desire to do so.

Actually, now that I think about this, having these animals behind bars might just be better for my overall wellbeing than being here in the wild like some wimpy untrained Bear Grylls wannabe. I don’t work for either Animal Planet or Nat Geo Wild, so why should I bother?

“Just gonna take a quick piss and then go back to the safety of the carriage before the track can go on. I think I can even see a couple of Lions down in the valley who are currently munching down a dead bull. I am far too important to be exposed to this type of dangers, and certainly no insane ENOUGH to even try.” I stated, before looking around for a suitable place to leave my mark.

Finding one rather quickly, I immediately dashed for the desirable looking bush to do my business far away from any prying eyes, especially those who are... interested in seeing their King's physic from a completely “different” angle. I know that at least one of my escorts was a bit of a Homo, judging by his speech and the way he also behaves around his colleagues. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else was secretly Homo as well to act as his boyfriend.

But alas, the sexual orientation of my personal soldiers doesn’t interest me as long as they keep it to themselves. I really don’t need to see the same-sex couples going at it. I already got enough horse porn from Nami and Najero. I really don’t need anymore.

“Who in God's name are you?” Some rough voice suddenly stated next to me which in turn removed me from my Zen of peacefully relieving myself on this poor bush. It also didn’t help that a pointy thing was being pointed at my right thigh. Which was of course, even more distracting as the gruff voice itself.

I almost jumped at that, pulling my pants back up and turning my attention to this fucking pervert. Only for me to do a double take when all I saw was a large bird head gazing back at me with its eagle-like eyes. I was seriously expecting a lot of things, but certainly not something like this.

Now I wanted chicken for some reason, despite not being the moment nor time for me to actually start thinking about food. But then again, what else can you possibly think of when a spear is being pointed directly towards you by an oversized chicken. Its either eat or be eaten. And frankly, right now all I can think about is how wings are capable of holding a spear. Then again, I am seeing Zebras holding shit with their hooves as well which should be even more impossible.

Your main source of criticism may vary.

“Up here, outsider.” The same gruff voice stated, though this time a little bit further up from where the actual chicken's head was.

I did as instructed, only to be met with a second head poking above the first. This one was a lot more recognizable than the other one, being the typical visage of your run of the mill Zebra with stripe decorated face with horse-like ears and muzzle.

It was then when it dawned on me. “Wait... you're actually riding this thing?” I asked, no longer minding my hunger or the situation I was in.

Though as much as the Zebra wanted to, he couldn't respond, as he was suddenly tackled off of his giant bird by a yellow and gray streak hitting him from the side, sending them tumbling somewhere around the bush where I couldn’t see them.

Too bad, as I personally wanted to see the action first hand. I am ready for some hardcore entertainment after this long ass drag of a trip. All alone, with none of the previously mentioned companions. Even Bakuss wasn’t here.

“Well... that escalated quickly,” I stated to no one in particular as I heard a bit of scuffing from the direction these two have flown off to.

It was also then when a large number of guards suddenly came galloping over with swords and spears at the ready.

“What happened? Are you alright, Your Highness?” One of the closest guards questioned after he and his colleagues took a defensive stance around me. Even though I am still standing in the bush, with the chicken still in front of me.

“Took you all long enough. If it wasn’t for Uxie's quick tackle then I would have long been turned into pierced barbecue if this dude was actually hostile. Well... he actually may have been, for all I know. But I guess it doesn’t matter, now that you are all here.” I commented before rubbing my chin.

It was also then when Uxie suddenly reappeared from his scuffle and began levitating the Zebra behind him as he got closer. Said Zebra looking somewhat unconscious, with a sizable dent on his helmet.

This prompted me to finally push through the foliage and to see exactly what lied beyond where these two shot off. There I could see a large rock. A rock with a large crack on one of its side, which in turn must have been the area where this poor horse got thrown into. Head first, of course, because you usually always go head first with these kinds of things. Because why not.

I then turned my attention back to the newcomer who was still floating about via Uxie's telekinesis. The giant chicken also didn’t look too intimidating anymore as it was just standing there not really giving a fuck. Though it was keeping an eye on the guards closest to it, moving its claws and cawing quietly like a bird.

Though my focus was more “focused” on the floating Zebra in front of me rather than the big Chicken McNugget to the left, if it does start to get troublesome, then I would at least have the excuse to actually have a chicken dinner out here in the savanna plagued with Lions or quick little Cheetahs. When it came to food, I become very territorial myself and lose all sense of self-preservation and common sense. I will become like an animal. Like most people.

“Well okay... just for the sake of getting to the point, who exactly is this Zebra? Is he a member of one of those Zebra tribes?” I asked, looking at the aforementioned Zebra.

“Actually, he is one with us. If that interests you.” Another voice suddenly stated which in turn forced me to turn to its source and almost lose my bladder all over again.

Zebras similar to the one Uxie had, only a lot, lot more of them. All sitting on top these Chocobo rip-offs, professionally armored and armed. One half of them were even sporting composite bows which gave me some pretty good idea on what this group... or should I say a small army of Zebras are trying to be.

Judging from the knowledge I gathered from my History Channel days, these Zebra are either mimicking the Persians or Mongols. Their armor style is somewhat of a mix between Eastern or Arabian culture, which looked a bit weird, especially when you consider that we were in the heart of Africa geographically-wise. I still see some of those Elephants and Giraffes in the distance which is just historically confusing.

But alas, this strange revelation shouldn’t really phase me, considering the fact that everything here was just a mix and mash of many different cultures and traditions from my world. Plus, there was also a Legendary Pokemon floating in front of me, so experiencing such oddities shouldn’t be too surprising at this point.

I have certainly seen weirder shit on the Internet, and in my uncle's basement whenever I came for a visit.

Anyway, none of that mattered now as we were now pretty much surrounded by Chocobo riding horse archers and heavy lancers. Something a small group of infantry units are basically screwed against if my tactical knowledge of Total War games is anything to go by.

I didn’t even have the luxury of being just the guy with the mouse. I am actually down here, acting the army's general more or less.

So this is how getting pinched felt like. I suddenly had a “little bit” more respect for all of those poor commanders of the good old days. Those poor bastards. They didn’t have the plot armor or psychic capable creatures on their sides. Or so I hope, as plot armor alone can be a fickle beast.

There was a moment of tense silence as these thoughts run through my never resting mind. The guards who surrounded me were, of course, on edge but decided to not look aggressive or defying as this would most likely not bode well for anything in this situation. Uxie on his part was confused while still hovering the unconscious body next to him. The chicken on our side just continued to look indifferent.

I, on the other hand, looked thoughtful which isn’t a surprise, especially since I am thinking right now.

The only one that looked normal was the guard who greeted me this morning. He stepped up, giving the lead Zebra of these riders a long look before nodding.

“Are you chieftain Tenojek of the Steppe Rider tribe?” The guard asked.

The middle-aged looking Zebra hummed. Rubbing his chin before replying. “Well, yes, indeed I am. The great Tenojek, at your service.” He stated with a calm but also strong voice, giving us a mocking head bob.

After he rose from his little head dip, his attention then fell upon me. Which had to happen sooner or later.

“And you must be the famed new Monkey King I heard so much about. Funny to see a monarch of your fame and status in the middle of the steppes with a small and dainty caravan. I would have expected more than just a few escorts.” The guy stated.

I shrugged. “Well, you know, budget and stuff. Not everybody can afford themselves an unnecessarily long caravan with multiple wagons trailing behind it. It is already hard enough to give these loyal souls their annual wages for their outstanding service, let alone funding their own provisions. These are truly hard times, let me tell you.” I lengthily stated which caused a few of my guard to look at me strangely.

Though the chieftain just laughed. “Is that so? Well, in that case, you would certainly be the first King I have ever met who is somehow short on riches. But either way, I like to personally welcome you to our land. I would have certainly prepared for your arrival if I knew that you would come. Certainly something more... substantial than a whole raider group of riders.” The chieftain openly stated. “Oh... and I also like to apologize for this incident. It really has been quite a while since one of your kind has shown themselves in these lands. We don’t exactly have any images or pictures of how the ancient High Kings looked like. Except maybe the old Capital, which is quite far away from where we are. So again, I apologize for that.” He quickly added.

I waved my hand dismissively. “Ah, don’t worry. First contact mishaps do happen. It's how we deal or react to these mistakes which truly matters.” I stated wisely, which was surprising even to myself as I usually just spout shit out of my ass in situations like these.

But hey, even a broken clock can tell the right time sometimes. The only difference is that my clock even went backward from time to time to compensate for the fact that it was running way too fast sometimes for no real reason.

Well, not really, sometimes it experienced an electric surge of epic proportions which could easily cause it to run a lot faster for a while. But none of that really is important as I still have a chieftain to talk to.

Either way, the chieftain nodded to that, before quickly turning his attention to one of his men and whispering something into his helmeted ears. The rider nodded before pulling the harness on his bird and separating himself from the rest of his crew, speeding off with his Chocobo look-alike to some random direction.

Well, judging by the position of the sun, I would say that the dude was running off somewhere around south-east or something. But alas, it didn’t matter too much as I was more curious as to what Tenojek here has whispered to his comrade.

Should I feel worried, is my life once again in danger for the tenth time since I started my reign? All questions which needed to be answered, which they did, when Tenojek suddenly began to talk before I could start asking.

“I sent him off ahead of us to inform both my local servants and High Shaman of your incoming arrival. They should finish their preparations to properly greet you upon our arrival. That is if your goal actually was to come to visit me and my tribe.” The chieftain stated before giving me a questioning look.

I nodded, especially when I remembered the exact detail which Susi has given me before me and my escort departed for the southern lands. Some of which were the names of tribes which were having issues with one another. One of them is actually the Steppe Riders now that I think about it.

Great, this obviously means that I finally reached my goal before I had to start losing some of my guards to either Lions or Cheetahs.

Terrible but possible, and certainly a bad campaign slogan to have when trying to recruit more guards for the... well, guard.

Either way, I accepted his offer, then turning to my lead guardsman and telling him to prepare the wagons for departure. He, of course, nodded, doing just that with a large majority of his guards following him. A few stayed behind, as expected.

Though it didn’t take too long for the chieftain to eventually notice Uxie and the unconscious rider he was levitating next to him still, raising an eyebrow at the sight, before returning his attention back to me.

“Say... what kind of a strange creature is this?” He asked, not minding, or even caring for the dude floating alongside this Pokemon.

“Oh, this is Uxie, one of the two... quote-unquote, kids, I brought with me. One of them is most likely still in my carriage, doing god knows what. Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering, that second child is a female drake. While the thing you see floating behind me is Uxie. Which is both his name and species.” I responded.

The dude just casually nodded to that before turning his attention back to his fellow riders and telling them to form up in front of my caravan and wait for my dudes to be ready to depart.

“Well, in that case, I guess it is time for me to head back into my carriage and just wait there for everything to be ready. I will talk to you again later, Chief Tenojek, once we reach your tribe.” I stated.

“Yes, indeed. I will head back to form up with my fellow riders and lead you all back to the settlement. It isn’t that far away from where we stand, so it shouldn’t take that long.” The chief replied.

I, of course, hummed to that, before watching him ride off to join his fellow men, leaving me and my guards alone, along with Uxie and the guard next to him. Not to mention the giant chicken, who has long sat down as this conversation was going on.

Speaking of Zebras...

“Better take the dude and his steed with us and not just leave these two behind in a Lion infested Savanna. Can you do it, Uxie? Can you levitate both of them with you?” I asked, giving the yellow lake guardian a curious look.

Uxie, in turn, scratched his head, looking at the rider next to him before at the dozing chicken behind him. He then shrugged, which was all the information I needed for me to stroll off with my usual grin.

I was still feeling a bit put out towards him for having ruined my perfectly good coffee which HE brought. Of course, he was sorry as all hell and tried to apologize as much as he could without even saying a single word. Because he obviously can’t speak, even though he did so in the dream.

Maybe he will be able to actually speak with more time passing. He certainly seemed to mature rather quickly by the looks of it.

Dangerously so. I won't be able to influence him anymore if this keeps going.

Darn the speed at which kids can mature these days. Mind-bending people like me are going to be run out of a job because of that.

Curse you, Internet!

Chapter 38: Its going to be the Trojan war all over again

Chapter 38: It's going to be the Trojan war all over again.

Edited by Samellan

“Your Highness, we are here!” One of my guards suddenly called out from outside, which woke me up from the peaceful slumber I was just bewitched by.

I don’t know when, but apparently, I must have dozed off somehow during this so-called “short trip”, which turned out to be a lot longer than I originally anticipated.

Won't take that long, my ass! I even fell asleep on the way here somehow.

Either way, I stretched myself once I was fully awake and smacked my lips afterward while also feeling quite chilly around my midsection for some reason. I looked down, only to find my exposed belly and a large portion of my shirt mysteriously chewed off. Now, who in Heaven's name could have possibly done that? Maybe a certain red colored drake with a nasty habit of ruining meme-printed T-shirts and a serious lack of respect for someone's personal possessions? Could be, especially when the aforementioned culprit herself was already up and about, toying around with a certain legendary smartass of coffee-spilling proportion.

And here I was hoping that he could maybe keep her distracted long enough that such an incidence won't happen. But whatever, this is what I get for not bringing her crib with me to put her away from my shirt while being knocked out. What's done is done, which is also why I have personally made the effort beforehand to pack as many extra shirts as I could, for exactly such occasion.

I should be honest though, if it wasn’t for the dedicated work of my own personal tailors back home to give me a never-ending access to meme-printed shirts, I would have been running around topless long ago. Which no one really wanted, as there was really nothing to see on my naked torso beside a few chest hairs and some basic looking nipples. I am neither macho nor skinny. That would certainly be boring for most people, neither arousing nor disgusting, which again is boring.

Though after a while I grumbled, “Great... now, where exactly did I place that replacement shirt at?” I wondered to myself as I started to look around not really minding the fact that a certain duo was playing around with some ripped pillows, using their outside as cover and the filling as throwing ammunition.

It looked kinda messy, but I was more interested in finding that replacement shirt so that I can look a little bit more presentable for these tribesmen.

The image is everything in the world of politics, after all, right next to money. Oh... and keeping your political promises as well, of course, in case you don't want to live a really dangerous life.

“Uhm... Your Highness? Are you... even awake to...”

“YEEEEES, I am. Just... just hold on. I am in the middle of finding my replacement shirts. Just go and entertain them or whatever. Give me a minute or two, will ya?” I called back, turning the interior of this carriage on its head in order to find my missing suitcase which I somehow managed to misplace in such a tiny space.

And yes, it's an actual suitcase in case some of you are wondering. One specifically made and designed to my exact specifications to act as my shirt and underwear holding storage for long distance trips like this one. But none of that mattered now as long as I can’t find the bloody thing.

What good is a forward-thinking plan when you can’t bloody execute it? I have a word for that and it's “stupid”. Not that I am calling myself stupid or anything, but rather educating you all in the definition of this particular situation.

All of you invisible people out there. Don’t lie, I know that you are out there. I can smell it because someone farted.

“HA... finally found it! “I declared happily after finally finding the item I was looking for.

See, diving back into your own self-constructed insanity does help sometimes. Now I just needed to drown my self-inflicted paranoia with either a cup of coffee or my own tears.

Or just forget about it again, like with so many other things in and around my life.

Blessings to the concepts of ignorance and" zero fucks were given". Now all I had to do is replace my current shirt with a new one and let the boring talking part begin.

“You hear that?” I asked Penelope who was most likely not listening. “No chewing these shirts while we are here. Otherwise, I am going to be running around topless, which nobody really needs as there's nothing to see. Like, seriously, my body couldn’t possibly look even more boring then it does now. So... don't even bother.” I stated, before donning the new shirt on.

With my honor fully restored I proudly inhaled and quit the carriage, letting my exhale fill the hot savanna air outside and making me wish that I would have at least brought a parasol with me to protect my very sensitive skin from the bloody African heat.

Desert or not, even in more fertile plains the sun could be quite a bitch. There's nothing worse than having a brand new shirt sticking to you like glue thanks to all of the sweat your body likes leaking out.

I am regretting my decision of leaving the safety of my carriage already. But alas, “wer nicht wagt der nicht gewinnt” has always been the motto of my distant uncle, something I took to heart right about now, just to have a mental excuse to push myself forward to this meeting.

Building an empire requires a lot of sacrifices.

“Ah, Your Highness, finally. Welcome to Akamar, by the way. Home of the Steppe Raiders.” The same guard from before happily stated, gesturing towards the aforementioned city which laid in front of us. A sight which truly forced me to admire its view just for a few moments longer, only because of the fact that a large portion of the city itself was made out of tents and other food and fabric related structures.

The city itself, of course, also had a lot of solid building, mimicking the same architectural style which my city has with a hint of African influence mixed within those cone-shaped roofs.

Overall, the view of the valley I had was really great, only ruined by the fact that the person who was responsible for parking us up here has not fully taken into consideration that us being here meant having to go up and down between the city and the wagons on this cliff was going to be an absolute bitch.

Call me lazy, but having to constantly scale a cliff up and down is certainly not a something I would add to my list of things to do every freaking morning. So kudos to the genius who did this. I am certainly going to both promote him and then demote him again for both of his brilliance and stupidity for picking a cliffside as the final parking space for this caravan.

What an unsung hero.

Or, I could just send someone else to go fetch my things from this point on to spare me the legwork. Even Uxie would be a pretty good candidate for that. Though then again, I am not so sure about letting a freshly hatched Pokemon do all of my fetching work for me. I wouldn’t be surprised if Uxie still doesn’t know what a bug spray is to save his life, because I have, just in case this place gets infested with mosquitoes during the twilight hours.

Staying in a much more... humid environment was sure going to attract a lot more bloodsucking insects then hot and dry desert could. I got that aforementioned bug spray from a local alchemist downtown, in case someone is wondering. A young Zebra who originally came from the same exact lands I am currently present on. As a native, he would know, or so I hoped, as some of his brews looked more like bubbling vials of poison than anything resembling medicine or something you could use as a bug repellent.

“Uhm... Your Highness? Are we ready to go? Chief Tenojek and his companions are still currently waiting for us at the foot of the cliff as we speak. He previously stated that he liked to show you around the city a bit before leading you to his personal residence for a more private discussion. So we better hurry.” The guard next to me stated with a hint of concern.

I blinked for a couple of times before giving the patient little guard a confirming nod, letting him know that I was ready to scale down the cliff and to meet with this Chocobo riding chief and the rest of his Final Fantasy rip-offs.

“Alright, follow me then. Some of your guards are, of course, going to accompany us as well for duty related purposes. We may be within friendly lands but that still doesn’t mean we should let our guard down. It would truly be a disaster if anything would ever happen to you, Your Highness. Especially down here in the frontier.” The guard responded before finally leading the way as promised, with a couple of my personal guards joining us for the so-called “duty related purposes”. I am not sure if they were truly serious about their job of keeping me safe or not, or if they were just checking in some career-related boxes in order to reach their next promotion within the ranks of the Palace guard.

Climbing the career ladder also seemed to be of quite a high value within the working society of these striped equines, or maybe I was just overthinking this without even knowing these Zebras on a more personal level.

In a non-Homo way, of course. I am straight, after all, hailing from a world filled with either bisexual circle jerkers, or pansexual weirdos. Where the hell did we all go wrong?

“Gaga...” A very distinct sounding babble quickly echoed about before either me or my guards could properly leave this cliffside.

I turned my head towards its source and was a bit surprised to see both Uxie and Penelope within his tiny arms.

Did I really forget about them during my mental monologues? Normally I never forget about my little girl or the added responsibility of keeping a psychic mindfuck in line, because having access to the ability to wipe someone's mind is quite invaluable in the world of politics.

Wiping out someone memories and then telling them that they used to serve you this entire time was really a quick and easy way of getting rid of any political opposition or enemies, not to mention a lot less bloody as well, which certainly helps with your karma.

This isn’t Rome, after all, more like a strange copycat version Persia, which was known for both its governmental genius and cultural tolerance towards those they conquered. Don’t trust what the '300' depicted them as. That movie was total bullshit in a historical sense. All flash, no substance.

Now, what was I talking about again? Ahh, yes, the whole Uxie and Penelope dilemma.

I hummed. “I don’t think leaving you two alone in some foreign land is exactly the best parenting technique I should follow. I should know... because it happened to me once when I was in France. Which is also where my hate for Mickey Mouse was born: I lost sight of my family because of that stupid rat. I will never trust its children-mesmerizing look anymore... mostly because I am an adult now.” I stated, before angrily moving my fist into the air at the memory of Disney’s most child-molesting character.

I mean, just listen to his voice!

Either way, this open comment I gave about my first ever experience of Disneyland had a lot of my companions looking up at me with various levels of confusion.

Even Uxie seemed to be tilting his head at this, most likely because he hasn’t experienced that particular chapter of my memories yet. Which is good, because one-quarter of them wasn't exactly kid-friendly as far as I am concerned.

“Well...?” I asked, which in turn knocked Uxie out of his own confused state and he finally handed over the drake who was just babbling on as always.

Once that was done, I turned my attention back to my escort and gave the lead guard the go-forth gesture to finally descend this cliffside so that the meeting could finally start. I have already wasted enough time as it was with my constant rambling and whatnot.

“Oh, and Uxie, would you mind keeping a... well... a close eye on the wagons around here? Sure, the remaining guards could do it as well, but your mind sense is probably a lot better than their regular vision. Just make sure none of the wild animals get too close to the provision carts and everyone should be fine. My stash of coffee and cheese is in there, and I would be damned if I lose those to some chuckling hyenas. Can you do that?” I requested.

Uxie just casually nodded, letting me know that he at least understood my message.

I smiled, before finally moving down the path which will hopefully lead me into the valley quickly, because the sun was still a bitch and I obviously didn’t have any sunscreen on me to protect myself from its radioactive blasts. Or a parasol, which would have been on my list of things to bring with me on this trip if I haven’t totally forgotten about it. But apparently having enough coffee and cheese was far more important to me than actually packing up clothes and other necessities.

But hey, food and drinks were also important, after all!

.............................................................................................................................................

“Ooh... I certainly like the color and atmosphere of this place. House-sized tents everywhere and with so many bright colors and mesmerizing patterns stitched onto their fabrics! For some reason, this place feels a lot more middle-eastern then my actual city did. Probably because of the more nomadic design that this place has, but... then again, what do I know?” I sincerely commented as I strolled through the outer sections of the city.

Which, by the way, was mostly dominated by this residential-looking tents or merchants of all colors and sizes. The merchants, in particular, were offering all kinds of goods which I personally had never seen in the extensive Bazaars back in the capital. Items such as animal furs or even precious ivory.

There were even a few shops offering unique cultivated goods such as cacao, sugar canes and even spices, along with some more exotic goods which I am sure must have come from completely different areas of this world, because I don’t think a roman style helmet with a hole in the middle was something these Persian or African-inspired Zebras would use.

A lot of these more exotic goods looked a bit too “western” to me for them to be made around here.

All of this diverse display of goods was quite intriguing to me, especially when it seemed like this city had a vastly larger market offering than my own. Which was also supposed to be the ancient capital, by the way, a status that should normally give it access to pretty much all the unique and exotic goods that these lands can provide.

A new expansion plan for my city was already brewing inside my mind by just looking at this place. But such plans would have to obviously wait until I can figure out why this smaller looking settlement to the south sported a much larger and more diverse market then the so-called capital of these lands.

A question a certain Tenojek had to answer as I turned my attention towards him.

“Chief Tenojek?” I called out to get his attention, which thankfully worked, as he promptly switched his attention from one of his men to me.

Not sure what he was talking about with them, but then again, who cares.

“Where exactly did all of these goods here come from? Some of them even seem to be imported from really far away, judging by the way they look so... foreign. What exactly makes your tribe's market so freaking diverse... if you don’t mind me asking?” I questioned while gesturing at one of the market tents we passed, this one selling fabrics and clothes which again didn’t look very Zebra-like or made.

Especially those pants-looking things. Most likely made for those Minotaurs, but then again, I am just guessing here. Maybe there's some form of monkey race out there that has a similar body structure as humans. Who knows.

Tenojek hummed before halting on his trot, which also forced me to stop, for obvious reasons. “Well, that is actually quite easy to answer.” He began before turning around to address me fully. “For one, our expertise as Chomori riders and tamers has made it superbly easy for us to move or transfer goods to and from all possible locations within these lands, with both great speed and far-reaching distance. A trade which has easily made me and my tribe very rich on both local and even foreign goods, as you can see here.” He stated before waving a hoof at all nearby stalls, tents, and merchants around us.

He then continued. “Also, having this city situated right in the middle of the old East coast to West coast trading route also helped. This city was actually built as a central trading hub for the whole continent during the times of the Old Empire. Though most of its infrastructure has long fallen into disarray, which has forced my forefathers to rebuild most of its old buildings when my tribe first settled here from the eastern grasslands. But it was obviously worth it, as you can clearly see.” Tenojek added with a hint of pride within his tone.

I nodded to that little backstory as I began looking around. It was quite interesting to hear these tidbits of backstory lore of a time that has long since passed before I was even a sperm. Before my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was even a sperm. Wow, those are a lot of greats certainly, my family must be really great to have so many great-grandfathers under our belt.

They must have been some kick-ass fathers with even more kick-ass parenting skills to be so great. Which at least explained why I am such a goddamn good caretaker myself towards Penelope, who has once again chewed off my left sleeve and caused one of the tents to catch fire via her dragon burp.

The irony could be such a fucking bitch sometimes, but so is a little drake who was always getting antsy for the chewies. It seems that her little baby tummy was once again requiring “the sustenance” to stop it from barfing up flames and destroying my shirts on a rather consistent basis.

This was certainly starting to get old, even for me.

“Excuse Penelope’s tendencies to ignite things on fire whenever she gets hungry. It is a very common theme back at the royal city which all of my Palace guards and servants are quite used to already. This is hardly a major issue.” I confidentially stated as the tent owners were already trying their best to smother out the small flames which have engulfed their mobile home. With a bucketful of water, of course.

“Here, for your troubles,” I announced, throwing a large emerald I fetched from my pocket at the stallion.

Because carrying coins is a hassle. Not to mention impractical for tiny pockets such as these which my Pajamas are equipped with. So why bother carrying gold when you can use gems as a currency as well? Which also had a much higher value than simple coins too. They were basically the 500 euro banknote of this world.

Either way, the random stallion simply gave his thanks for my offering before stashing the gem away for safekeeping.

With that, I turned my attention back to my fellow host of the day.

It was clear that this trip had to be cut short if I didn’t want to risk her burning the entire town before we could even reach this so-called private residence which Tenojek has been talking about this entire time. This was actually also why I have gems in my pocket in the first place: to have a reachable access to snacks for Penelope to chew when situations like these do happen. Though the best source of sustenance for her was, of course, still milk, just like for almost any infant out there who lacked the proper jaw strength to really bite anything.

Well... except for Penelope, of course, who had no problems with chewing on some actual gems with that pin needle size teeth of hers. But that was a brain-breaker for another day.

“Well... could we maybe cut this tour short and just head straight for your local residence instead? As I stated before, Penelope can get quite hot-headed if her nourishment needs are not met. And looking around in your settlement a bit more, keeping her hungry is certainly not a very good idea at all. At least within the cities limits, that is.” I stated.

Tenojek paused before eventually nodding to my idea. “Very well, in that case, I can just send one of my men ahead of us, to inform the servants that they should already start with the preparations for the feast, and of course get some freshly milked goat milk for your little infant. The trek from here to the central district of Akamar is not that long, only around ten minutes or so.” He responded, before sending out one of the aforementioned men and letting him loose to do his thing.

I smiled at that, knowing that another potential disaster is going to be diverted this day. Or at least minimized, judging how frequently Penelope was starting to barf out these flames. If something does go up in flames in this place, then it's certainly going to mimic the great fire of Rome with the same dramatic effect, the only difference being that this place is going to burn down a lot faster than a city filled with orgy-obsessed psychopaths did.

This was certainly one bad (or maybe good) aspect that the Romans had. They were all mentally ill nutcases. Especially their Emperors.

With that, the trek has continued straight for Tenojek’s residence while keeping Penelope’s snout pointed away from anything that was even remotely flammable. Which isn’t exactly easy when everything around you is just begging to be set on fire by my own little pyromaniac which slumbers within all of us.

Human psyche. Both fascinating and dangerous at the same time. In a way, we were all born as little sadistic psychopaths, the only difference that separates us from the truly insane is the different levels of volume that this little voice within our heads whispers to us subconsciously.

For some, it is loud, for some, it is not. For some, those bastards have bought themselves a full mic and stereo set combo to start blasting their messages out like a heavy metal singer on a crack.

Some of these internal voices really didn’t know the concept of subtlety, which is then also perfectly reflected by those affected by it.

I suddenly felt a lot more conscious about myself than I normally would have been. I think I have just transcended into a higher plane of madness with that self-revelation.

Sheogorath preserve us.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Here you go, sire, the freshly milked goat milk which you ordered. Sorry that we don’t have one of those “baby bottles” you mentioned earlier. We just poured it into a normal bottle instead. I hope that this will suffice?” The mare servant explained before finally handing me the bottle I so anxiously desired. Because Penelope was really starting to heat up.

Quite literally.

Who knew that hungry dragons were so dangerous? I should really keep this in mind at the next possible battle or fight I might eventually face because keeping her unfed was apparently a foolproof recipe of creating my very own portable flamethrower when things really start to get serious.

I am sure that bringing a flamethrower to a sword fight is certainly going to end up with a HUGE advantage on my side.

In the end, it's really about playing as unfair as mortally possible. Only idiots fight fair and only self-indulgent masochists are taking honor really seriously. I am all about survival. The rule of the jungle, baby!

But either way, before getting myself sidetracked once more and most likely wasting everyone’s time, I decided to just subconsciously take the offered bottle from the maid and shove it right into Penelope’s open mouth to quench her flames.

Apparently, it worked, as she soon started to suckle on the bottle, like kitchen sink drain with a vacuum cleaner attached to it.

A wonderful metaphor which was also true. I once tried to clean out a clogged-up sink with a vacuum cleaner back in my Earth-living days, which just resulted into an even bigger mess as the sink pipe ruptured. In the end, I had to hire Mario’s distant cousin in order to get that mess sorted out and my dignity restored.

One of my cousins obviously had to pay for all of that, as my wallet was 'unfortunately' lost during my last outing to the local mall. Which I, of course, 'got back' after a couple of days, thanks to an honest and helpful 'citizens' who brought it back to me.

Good thing my wallet was already empty when I lost it. I personally always kept my small change hidden inside an old sock which was secretly stashed under my bed. Something which any sane person should do when living with a handful of cousins under the same roof.

What was I talking about again? Ah, yes, me feeding Penelope while sitting cross-legged inside this marvelous looking residence of dear old Tenojek. Which basically was just a half-repaired estate with the other half being compensated with a very large tent of his own, giving this place a real Middle-Eastern vibe with its style and decorations.

Or was it nomadic? I personally didn’t know as my personal knowledge of history is mostly focused around the BC eras of time and not really around the medieval period. Especially not about Arabia and many parts of Asia.

But at the same time, I was not a total doof when it came to those. If I was, then I wouldn’t be able to recognize these themes and patterns at all. Which should be an obvious conclusion.

I am crazy, not stupid.

But either way, who cares, especially with how cozy this place felt with its overall use of rags, blankets, carpets, and body-sized pillows on every inch of the walls and floors. I was even able to spot one of those smoking pipes in one corner of the room. Though if it was just here for decoration purposes or actually in use by its occupants is another question entirely. Tenojek certainly didn’t smell like a smoker to me whenever he opened his mouth.

Say what you want, you silly old smokers out there, you cannot lie to your girlfriends when the smell of your breath makes it very clear what your addictions really were. No matter how many times you brush your teeth or anything.

And no, I am obviously not talking about blowjobs or anything. Get your goddamn minds out of the gutter, you pervs. This adventure is rated M, not Adult.

“So...” Tenojek eventually began after being given his cup of tea by a female servant and blowing on it before finally addressing me directly once more. After he took a test sip of course. ”...tell me, what exactly brings you to the southernmost frontiers? A King like you would obviously have his reason in coming out here. There must be something.” Tenojek curiously asked before taking another sip from his cup.

Making me think about my coffee, and giving me the desire to sip on something myself to expose, or rather practice my own personal vice towards caffeine.

He was sipping and I did not. Even Penelope here was sucking on a bottle while my throat was dry. This was certainly one of those moments where a certain Uxie has my utmost permission to just pop into existence with my trusty coffee-filled mug in his hands. As long as he didn’t spill it like last time, of course.

“You hear that, Uxie? You can pop back in to give me that mug of coffee I kinda need right now. Just make sure you don’t clip my arm with your tail this time while I am holding it.” I announced completely out of the blue in hopes that this would work.

Uxie did it once, so why not a second time? Granted, he did come through the carriage curtains to deliver me that mug instead of just literally popping into existence. But hey, one can dream.

“Uhm... who is this Uxie you speak of?” Tenojek asked in confusion.

I shook my head. “Uh... someone who is keeping an eye on the caravan parked outside. You know, the one who had one of your man floating next to him when we first met? But either way, it's nothing important, really. Just wanted to test something out, and it apparently failed as you can tell.” I responded, trying to wave it off.

It worked, especially when I remembered the last question he asked, and decided to answer it right away in hopes of diverting this subject. Or to rather change it.

“So... to answer your previous question...” I suddenly began. “I have indeed come here for a very specific purpose. Mostly revolving around some reports that a form of trouble is brewing down here. So I just wanted to personally go and investigate this so-called ‘trouble’ myself and maybe even help to solve it if I can. Especially when I also heard that this issue mainly involved the two main Zebra tribes residing here. I'd like to prevent another war on homeland soil if I can. We are all under the same banner, theoretically speaking, of course.” I explained, which was of course only the half-truth, like with so many other things in my life.

But alas, who cares, especially when Tenojek began to grumble to himself after I mentioned the ”under the same banner” part of my answer.

He looked down at his cup with a frown. "Huh, I wish, but it seems that others don’t really think the same way as you about coming from the same exact lineage and whatnot." He commented, sounding quite angry about something.

“Oh... and what may be the source of this anger, if I may ask?” I questioned, while also trying to act very carefully. I obviously didn’t want to hit a nerve here, even though I am really good at it. When I least needed it.

Back in my world, at least.

He took a good hard sip from his cup, emptying it more or less with one big gulp before offering it to the maid behind him for a refilling. Which she, of course, did.

He took another big chug from his mug before finally replying. “Well, simple. I have a suspicion that those damn Sand Hunters may have taken my daughter. I don’t know how, but I just have this internal hunch. A fatherly intuition, if you will. A feeling which is solidified further when she managed to disappear only a couple of days after the Sand Hunters chieftain's son came to us as a peace ambassador in order to lessen the heavy tension mine and his tribe has for the copper-rich lands which lay right between our borders. It also doesn’t help that I also saw a couple of those arrow-shooting Sand-heads scouting about near our lands during the night of her disappearance, or at least according to MY scouts who were patrolling the trade routes. This whole situation is far too convenient to be just a total chance of fate in my opinion. This is actually the main reason why I was out there in the fields with my Riders. I was personally planning to give their chieftain a personal visit about this issue before you came into the picture. I guess I have to thank you for keeping me from getting some solid answers today. But then again, I am no stranger to when it comes to showing some hospitality to new foreign visitors. Such is the nature of being both a trader and Rider at the same time. A lack of hospitality towards new visitors is obviously bad for business, as you can guess.” He explained before finally calming down at the end of his long angry rant for most of it.

This was a lot to take in. Like, literally, the amount of info dump which was thrust upon me was kinda overkill. The dude didn’t even pause or give his tea a well-needed sip to calm his nerves. Which he was doing right now, to do just that.

“Another.” He ordered before presenting his empty cup to the servant behind him. The mare complied, refilling his cup and watching him gulp it down again just as fast, which, in turn, allowed her to refill it before the cycle simply repeats itself.

If this was alcohol, then he would have already been tipsy at this point. Though who knows, the tea might be actually mixed with a hint of alcohol for all I know. Back in my world, people always came up with new and sometimes strange ways of adding alcohol to everything.

But again, none of this was really a problem for me anymore as I am here and not there. Plus, I didn’t indulge myself in the sin of brainfucking my already brainfucked head with any more brainfucking substances.

Again, I liked to keep a small piece of my sanity intact, or it's going to be a one-trip ticket for me into dementia. The one place filled with fog and a shitton of murky waters. And I hate murky waters.

“Soooo...” I began, tapping my chin. “Basically saying, you have your hands... or hooves full with a lot of crap. Ongoing rivalry, land dispute and now a possible kidnapping as well. Truly this must have been the thunderstorm which Susi must have been talking about. What a mess.” I commented.

Tenojek on his part didn’t respond as he continued to chug down his tea until no more was left inside the servant's kettle. She quickly excused herself, promising to get more, which Tenojek calmly declined.

I guess he had his fill for today, which was understandable, judging how large that kettle actually was, being the size of his belly if I am guessing it correctly.

I could personally drink a lot more when it comes to both coffee and even Ice tea on hot occasions, in case someone likes to know.

After a while, he sighed. “Anyway, that is the story, then. The land dispute is something I can tolerate, but when my own daughter is thrown into the mix, I am ready to act drastically. So you must certainly understand the type of peril I am facing here. I am the victim here, not them, or whoever it is who has taken my child. I am going to have their heads, no matter who it is.” He stated, even menacingly at the end.

This truly placed me in a bit of a pickle. It certainly didn’t take a genius to figure out that I am going to be heavily involved with this, one way or another. Being the so-called Monkey King of these lands, it more or less falls onto me to commit acts of justice on those who actively wronged someone. If not for the law itself, then to simply strengthen my power and allegiance with the other tribes out there.

Again, the goal was to convince the remaining tribes out there that my claim to the throne is true and well-earned, allowing me full access to the Zebrica lands and the major shove I need to kickstart this ragtag of splintered tribes back into Empire status. Something which is easier said than done, as with so many other things in life.

Or maybe not, as I can also be quite lucky when I least expect it.

See what I mean when I said that this world is almost functioning as a video game?

Gotta check out all of the tutorial boxes first before the real fun can begin. That fun is “Veni, Vidi, Vici”. And maybe even mindfucking the enemies a bit, as I am pretty good at that.

But alas, there was now a very critical decision to make. Or maybe not, as this is a child kidnapping we were talking about. Some silly old land dispute can wait. For that, I will have to obviously travel to the place which those Sand Hunters call home, trying to personally talk to the chieftain there and see what he knew about this and to maybe even get the son's side of the story as well. Maybe he was innocent and has just returned home to his father with the same luggage he had when he first left.

Detective Alexander Becker the First is on the case. Now all I need is a detective hat, a magnifying glass, and a bubble pipe, then I will be all set in giving both Sherlock Holmes and Detective Conan a run for their fucking money.

Pay up, you British and Japanese noobs, because this German is about to pull up your underwear and expose the truth that both of you are wearing man-diapers for all of those crap-inducing crimes that you two always have to solve.

Because I had something that neither him or him could ever claim ownership on. Money, lots and lots of fucking money, and a whole army at my beck and call. This case was already solved, with the power of money, bribery, and political assassinations.

Well, really not the ass ass ass part, but you get the point.

“Uhm... are you alright? You have been grinning like this the entire time, and it's... kinda disheartening.” Tenojek suddenly commented, which in turn pulled me out of my thoughts and back to the reality that was this fluffied living room. Or whatever it was Tenojek here calls this room.

I jumped up, almost causing him to do the same out of fright. “I am going to do it. Detective Alexander Becker the “Magnificent” is on the case! I shall travel to the Sand Hunters hideout and speak with the chieftain myself in order to act as a neutral faction between you two. I can most likely get a bit more info out of him than you, the bad blood between you two and whatnot. So I shall go and get to the bottom of this mystery myself. For everyone's sake, and for peace!” I announced, even going so far as striking a pose with one of my arms pointed upwards along with my index finger to make this glorious announcement of mine even more glorious.

Heck, even the window curtains right behind me were blown to the side when I made that speech, giving me this classic looking halo from behind which only added to the overall epicness of this scene. All that was missing at this point were, of course, angels singing chorals in the background. But one cannot have everything at the same time, now can they?

Let's not act spoiled here in a serious case of child kidnapping. That would just be unethical and rude, even for me.

Tenojek acted somewhat confused. “Hmm... well, I guess letting you do the talking would, in the end, certainly be the less stressful option to take instead of just allowing my frustration shine and possible start a direct conflict because of that. So again, this might actually be the better option in the end.” He stated while stroking his long narrow beard in thought.

I nodded. “Exactly, let me do most of the actual talking while you can concentrate more on broadening your search around the steppes for your dear little daughter. I have nothing better to do at this stage, so why not let my otherworldly charm work its magic on these people? Quite literally otherworldly, now that I think about it.” I added, smiling at this little realization.

This is then when I realized something else, which should have normally never left my mind in the first place.

Penelope.

Especially that I am no longer feeling her weight on my arm.

I began to look around, thinking that I may have launched her off during my sudden jump. But thankfully, this idea was proven false as I spotted her on one of the pillows next to me snoring away. I guess she must have crawled off my arms at some point when I was once again busy in exercising my thoughts.

Doesn’t matter, though, as I now had the idea on what to do next from here: playing both the diplomat and local detective to solve this case. It is time to do some digging, and let all of my guards to do most of it.

Because I could not be bothered to dig holes myself, my poor little hands are going to get scratched and dirty from that, and we don’t want that, do we?

Time to give Gilgamesh as a visit. Or so I think.

Chapter 39: I wonder who Achilles will be

Chapter 39: I wonder who Achilles will be?

Edited by: The Great Khan

Traveling from the greener pastures of the Savanna and returning back into the harsh and arid landscape of the Zebrican deserts is certainly not that much of a change when it comes to outside temperatures and the fucking sun itself. But that’s what my personal carriage was made for anyway; to act as my personal retreat for my rather sensitive WHITE skin. Or should I call it my supreme Aryan type skin of genetic perfection compared to any other skin color out there.

I’m joking of course, which can also be called a metaphor of my life; where everything and nothing is a joke. Just like reality itself when you really think about it.

But whatever, it is what it is, and I should be thankful for my position as king, because thanks to that I can just easily lazy my way out from a lot of my personal problems that the average living citizens cannot.

Hurray for the allusively made class system and its literal unfairness to those that crawl around beneath it. I’m of course not talking about slavery or anything, but rather the common workers’ work, which in turn allows life to be easy and comfortable for the upper classes.

I am of course going to pay these workers handsomely for their dedication to society in order to keep luxuries such as these a consistent possibility for me and my equals. Money is certainly not a problem with that and certainly not morality as well. Plus, it would mean a much more healthy and flexible economy as well. Spending money makes money and makes everyone benefit from the economic upswing, which in turn just makes even more money.

Or at the very least happy faces, which is also a plus.

That is… if I am really paying anyone else for their work besides my guards. Again, I have to personally go check or ask for any type of expenditure records when I get back. That is… if I can remember to actually do so.

But whatever. Such unrelated issues are for future Alexander to worry about, not exactly me. Especially when I have a far bigger issue on my hands right now in regards to preventing a second Trojan War on my own home soil. Or rather, the start of one if this world has never had one.

I may love the stories of the Iliad, but that still doesn’t mean that I want to have the blood of my subjects coating the sands of this arid desert for my own personal love for the classics. I already had to go through two major conflicts already, and having a third so close to the other two is not just going to be damaging to the overall moral of the people, but mine as well, as lengthy funerals bore me. That is, before the food can finally be given out at the end of one.

Funerals are kinda like weddings from my experience, where a large majority of people only go to them for the free food.

Thinking with your stomachs people. As long as you do that then you will always belong within the multi-colored society which the world is made off. Food brings people together, followed by money, and of course, sex.

Like… almost literally.

Though besides that, both Penelope and Uxie were sleeping in together which honestly looks absolutely adorable. I wonder if Uxie was currently invading Penelope’s dreams as well the same way he did to me? An interesting question to make, which also leads me to wonder what a little drake like Penelope could possibly dream of in such an early stage of her life?

Maybe about fire? Or possibly dreaming about a sea of meme printed shirts on which she could chew on and leave me completely shirtless as a result?

Still an infant and already trying to undress me in the most crude and barbaric way. I can only imagine how extreme she will be when finally receiving the mental understanding of sexuality.

It's going to be a mad world I tell you. Just mad.

“Mhmmm… maybe I will have to invest in a chastity belt in the near future. Most of my daily followers are actually all females, which in turn really makes me very vulnerable for a potential target. Especially given my status. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if one of them is eventually starting to get bold. And I am not talking about hair falling off from someone scalp or anything, in case someone is listening on me.” I mumbled as the carriage continued to softly rock back and forth as it’s pulled along the road.

Making me somewhat sleepy as well, now that I think about it. Which in turn at least makes me realize why both Penelope and Uxie here suddenly fell asleep along the way. Even though Uxie shouldn’t be able to feel the swinging motion of the carriage himself, as he is levitating about for most of the time. But whatever, the more kids who sleep the better. At least this meant that the interior design of the carriage won't get violated even further. With the few pillows and blankets that these two have vandalized before still littering the wooden floors. The pillow fillings especially were just everywhere.

“Your Highness, I think we have finally arrived. I can see the top of the citadel from here already.” One of my guards suddenly shouted from outside.

This of course got me curious as I poked my head through the window curtains to see this myself. And true to his word, I did see something poking out from on top of a rather large cliffside. Or rather, poking out from a cliff wall, as we were traveling right through a gorge of some sort. A more… rocky section of the expansive Zebrican desert, filled with these cliffs and canyons. With one of the twin rivers from the capital actually flowing through these lands themselves. Or so I was told when I spotted it glimmering and flowing about in the distance when we eventually crossed the thresholds. I guess these two rivers eventually split off at some point and continue to flow further south separately to some remote corner of the lands in which I am still unaware off.

Kinda like the Nile in a way. Where it, at some point, splits off into two separate rivers further down the line.

“Well look at that. Certainly looks a lot bigger than I originally imagined. At least judging by its title.” I eventually commented when the entire thing finally came into full view when me and the rest of the Caravan finally made it through the gorge.

I said ‘title’ because it’s known as Hittar Fortress. Or rather, it was, as it's now known simply as Hittar, as it’s far more than just a military installation nowadays. I can tell from just looking at it from here; boasting a much longer spanning wall that starts from the old citadel up on a cliff and went all the way down where the aforementioned river flows through.

Certainly giving the appearance that it’s far more than just an old fortress now. It looks far too large in land area for it to be just that.

I would guess that over the decades, the originally intended military fortress eventually grew into a full blown community as more people began to settle and work in the shadow of the well-fortified location. Which is a pretty natural transition for how most towns or even cities got created. Plus, the added bonus of having a major river nearby with fertile banks didn't hurt.

Again, another common source as to how communities can from. Though that is where my general knowledge and overall guesses for this place stop, as that was all I was generally given about the overall name, purpose and vague history of this place from Tenojek.

The separate Zebra tribes don’t really interact that much with one another for them to be even fully aware or even interested in the overall history of whatever region they reside. Even more so for rivals, like the Sand Hunters and the Steppe Riders.

But it doesn’t matter, especially when all of these question are going to be answered sooner or later as we slowly began to approach the sand-battered walls of this extended settlement. In fact, we were making our way directly up the cliff where the citadel was towering above the surrounding countryside, instead of the river valley it’s overlooking. Could actually be a good thing though; having the only true entrance into the settlement go through the most heavily defended section of this… well, city I guess, is quite good. Again, rather typical for many old fortresses and especially in medieval castles.

Man I must sound incredibly nerdy right now, don’t I? Not something you typically relate to with a random eccentric character such as myself. Which is good; it adds to the overall unpredictability of my personality.

The more enemies I can deceive, the better.

*Yawn...

“If they are awake enough to even be deceived, that is. Of course, a sleeping enemy is still the best enemy in my opinion. Getting some of that sweet ‘sneak kill multiplier’ and whatnot.” I thought to myself before pulling my head back inside to look at its source.

It was actually Uxie, stretching his arms and almost non-existent legs as the little bugger woke up. He even went so far as to scratch his backside and smack his lips, which in turn just made me proud.

This little guy is also learning rather quickly. Which is not to surprising for the spirit of knowledge. Learning shit quickly should be part of the birth certificate. Along with a shoe-shaped footprint while we’re at it.

“Your Highness, we are closing in on the main gate.” The same guard from before shouted, which forced me to poke my head back out into the open alongside Uxie interestingly enough.

Must look silly having two different heads poking out of the same carriage window.

“Not so close Uxie, you’re blocking my view.”

“Halt, who goes there?” Someone suddenly shouted from atop the gate as we stopped.

The same guard who had been the open voice of conversation since this trip started stepped up. Moving up in front of the train and gazing up to the head sticking out from the merlons above.

The dude cleared his throat. “We are Zebras hailing from the old capital of Achaemidia. The Monkey King himself is with us, who wishes to request an audition with your chieftain.” The guard shouted back.

This response led to a few moments of silence as the dudes up on the walls were most likely debating on the decision of if they should allow us entry or not. That is, until I managed to hear a faint voice echoing from behind the merlons, which kinda sounded old and a bit gruff.

Which is quite the feat when you consider the fact that the walls of these… well walls are absolutely huge. Certainly taller then the city walls I have back in Achaemidia.

This of course made me jealous. I want to be the one sporting the biggest walls of all the other walls out there. To show those who have walls as to how truly tiny their walls are and make them feel insecure on the fact on how small their walls truly are in comparison to mine. Making them want to join my cause because my walls offer much better protection than their walls.

This idea is almost worth writing down in the “Politics for Dummies” guide book. Big walls help you to get more votes. Sound almost similar to some American guy with fake hair. But I can’t really name him right from the tip of my tongue to save my life.

So let's not even try and focus more on the reality at hand here.

Especially when the same head from before returned.

“Alright, you can all enter. Just give us a minute to open the gates.” The dude on top screamed back before once again disappearing.

A couple of minutes past before some old sounding gears and chains could be heard moving and grinding from the other side, followed by the slow and steady opening of the double doors and the raising of the portcullis behind it. Didn’t know that this gate also had a portcullis. But alas, it obviously did. Shouldn’t be too surprised though when you consider the fact that this was first a fortress.

Such defensive measures are kinda common for military installations and structures.

“Hmm...well this place is certainly ready for any attack. Tenojek and his Riders are certainly going to have one hell of a time if things ever turn full-on hostile between these two. The Sand Hunters don’t even need to come out of their walls if that’s the case. Even more so when these Zebra specialized themselves in ranged warfare and guerrilla tactics. Such a place is just like a match made in heaven for them.” I mentally deduct before the rest of the baggage train and I finally moved on into the compound.

Or rather, the fortress’ front courtyard. Which is a fairly large open space with the main citadel overlooking it on top of a cliff. Not a cliff that was the same height as mine back at the Capital, but certainly tall enough for the structure to overlook the walls surrounding it.

The citadel itself did kinda look like the Palace-like portion of the city of Troy in the movie Troy. Though only a lot more militarized than luxurious, a lot less open windows and a lot more battlements and towers. Four of them in fact, on each corner

Though overall, the most obvious style I see around me is your typical Middle Eastern fortress from either the Assyrian or again Persian days. Like with a lot of architectures and styles in these lands along with most of their clothing and armor. Including her.

“Welcome to Hittar, fellow kin. I hope you all truly come in peace just as my guards informed me.” Someone suddenly greeted as I stepped out the carriage after it stopped.

It was actually the same voice I heard outside the gates which was intriguing. Even more so when I was greeted with was fairly well roped dude surrounded by equally well dressed and armored individuals around him. All looking like the same Sand Hunters I saw before we moved to intercept the Minotaur at the eastern edge of the continent.

This gave me some epic flashbacks. Never before have I been so high on caffeine in my whole life that I basically managed to miss an entire real life battle over it. Not to mentioned meeting Willy Wonka in the flesh… or rather as a caffeine-induced version of him.

But alas, let's just focus on the more important meet-and-greet than allowing myself to be entranced by some unnecessary flashbacks. I can do that later when I am not trying to be
responsible for once.

“Ah...so you must be the famed new Monkey King the legends have been talking about. The coming of a new age, with the return of the old bloodline, or at least that is what the old prophecies say, according to the high priests back in the old Capital. Quite curious indeed.” The old man greeted before rubbing his chin with intrigue.

I smiled, before making my way to his group with my own personal band of guards to flank me on both sides, in order to match them in numbers.

Now the soccer match can finally begin. With me acting as the couch of course, who is shouting inappropriate insults and racial slurs at his team for the incompetence and lack of scoring goals.

Or maybe now, as I was never really a soccer fan to begin with. Or really any form of sports really.

“Greetings to you too chief…?”

“Chieftain Solum of the Sand Hunter. Yours truly.” He introduced himself with a short bow which I kindly returned.

“The pleasure is all mine, Solum. I am Alexander Becker the First. King of Achaemidia and the so called ‘Monkey King’ to usher in this new age. I have to say, you have quite the impressive looking home here. These walls are by far the highest I have ever seen in these lands. Quite remarkably really.” I responded, giving off my comments on this well fortified fort.

The old man smiled. “Well yes, of course. It was constructed generations ago by my forefathers. During the times of the old Empire to safeguard the northern and southern trading and shipping routes from the desert to the steppes. This fort in fact is just one of many ancient forts which dot the inlands of Zebrica, all serving as guard and resting posts for the old trading route highways, which are rarely used these days, sadly enough.” Solum explained which tickled my inner lore master quite a bit.

More interesting backstory of all the different places that these lands have to offer. Even more so now that I know that their might easily be a lot more of these forts out there. Either occupied or abandoned. Either way, the existing infrastructure would certainly makes itself useful in the future. Plus it would also make these lands a total bitch to invade when at every ten meters or so was another fortress just waiting for them to tare down.

Truly turning a hostile conquest into another video game mechanic. Forcing the enemy to move to each and every fortress one at the time, with harder and harder difficulty curves the further they penetrate deeper into the heartlands.

So this is how being a game developer feels like? Feels just as sadistic as I always imagined it to be. But then again, getting bullied from most of you school days does leave a negative psyche behind when these fuckers finally leave their respective institutes with a piece of paper in their hands. Those feelings do reflect themselves in video game making after all.

I hummed to myself quietly at this little self realization before focusing back on the stallion before anyone could even notice that I was mentally absent once again. I am here on a diplomatic mission, after all. No as a circus actor.

There is enough time for that later after I get everything straight here. Those flag poles bent at 40 degrees up on the towers are really triggering my OCD tendencies. Not for the same reason as you may thing.

Nature is such a bitch sometimes.

Either way, I quickly nodded. “I see, well personally it is always exhilarating to learn more about these lands and their long extending history. I am actually a history buff myself in case you haven’t guessed already.” I commented, making the old dude smile.

“A quite marvelous interest to have in my opinion. But enough chit chat, the sun is beating down on us as you can most likely tell, and I am also quite parched. We can easily continue this meeting back inside the Citadel where it will be a lot cooler. Would that be alright?” Solum suggested.

I nod. “Sure, I am personally no fan of the sun either. Its radioactive rays are not too good for my skin and I am not fond of becoming a reversed Michael Jackson myself. That trend has been done to death looooong ago.” I responded while trying to fan myself with my right hand.

It works just as good as you would imagine.

It actually works, no really, along with the slight confusion I have created.

But I quickly waved it off before anything else could stop me from getting out of this blasted sun. Besides me of course.

“Never mind, let's just get inside already as I would love to have a drink myself. Do you guys maybe have ice tea or something? Because I could really use one if I want to be honest.” I stated, imaging a full glass of lemon ice tea in front of me with some real lemon juice inside of it.

Ah, the glorious taste of lemon ice tea. Certainly a second contender to my love of coffee, if I had some freaking ice tea that is.

The old man shook his head. “No, we certainly don’t have this “ice tea,” but we do have some regular coconut tea of that is fine. Sweeten with sugar as well.” Solum responded, making me rub my chin in thought.

“Ooh, coconut tea. Sounds fancy. I think I’m ready to have some of that if that is ok?” I responded myself. Feeling quite intrigued at the idea of some hot coconut juice.

Usually you drink that shit at room temperature or just add some ice into it, but hot is certainly new to me.

The old man nodded. “Well of course, but let's just head back inside to escape this heat. We may be accustomed to the desert but that still doesn’t meant we are masters of it. The desert always had a will of its own, no matter how hard you try to tame it.” The old geezer commented before signaling me to follow him.

I was about to when a thought suddenly entered my mind. A thought I should have thought of sooner. Otherwise I will not be able to get any of the brownie points from next month Understanding Parents convention.

I am dedicated to get those points, so that I can win that lifetime supply of milk that it offers. Or, I could just demand milk for me and my drake on a regular basis. I am the freaking king after all so why even bother taking part in a contest when I can rig the contest legally? Also why pull my balls out for a lifetime of milk? Oh wait, because I love milk and anything related to it like cheese and ice cream.

Though thinking about my little girls, also made me realize on the fact that I really haven’t fed Uxie anything since day one besides...well cheese.

I should probably take him along as well this time as we are inside a fort. No wild animals or raiders here to rape my wagon a new asshole and allow all of my goods and provision to be shit out.

Now there is a good metaphor for how to explain raiders raiding your stuff. I need to write that shit down somewhere when I get the chance to. But for now let's just focus more on reality and my one adopted daughter and self-hatched Pokémon.

“Oh wait...I remember something. Just let me get my drake and Pokémon before we head inside. Won’t take a minute.” I stated before dashing back to my personal carriage.

Which was just as over-designed, colorful and golden as you would imagine. Like with everything else that is now mine. These Zebra really take their shit seriously when it comes to showering me with luxuries I honestly don’t need or ask for.

Personally that money should be spent on things I can actually make use of or eat rather than pimping up a carriage. Which is made even more redundant when you take into consideration that I have at least a hundred of the so-called “royal carriages” stored away in one of the Palace’s many warehouses.

Seriously though, my predecessors were either mad just like me, or really, REALLY filled with ego. So much ego in fact that they had to exceed some of that ego in such crazy ideas as to build a hundred different carriage for them alone and such. Then we have the Palace itself of course, which is just a massive dick measuring contest on its own.

But that is YET AGAIN, another story for another day. Now all I have to do is go get the two kids and be on my way to have some of that exotic sounding coconut tea. My future sight senses tell me that this is going to blow me away, so I definitely need Uxie by my side so that he can catch me before I can fly out the window.

This is a serious case of self-preserving safety.

“Oh, you’re already awake. Then there's no need to make this awkward or anything.” I commented, before picking the yawning drake off her pillow and into my arm.

“Come Uxie, you can come too this time.” I added to which Uxie just smiled before following me out of the carriage.

Solum and his gang were of course surprised by my sudden addition. Especially towards Uxie who is by far the most “unique” looking thing here.

There is certainly no debating that. I mean, you certainly don’t see someone floating about with completely closed eyes anyway. You would think that being a flier, you would have the greatest eyesight of them all. Wide open, and always on the lookout for any obstacles.

But not with Uxie, which is certainly weird and worthy of a raised eyebrow.

“So uhm… those are like your… children, then?” Solum question.

I nodded. “Indeed they are. Well the drake here is. Uxie over here is actually younger than her but act a heck of a lot more mature. Well… mature for his age, that is.” I responded before quickly diverting the subject.

“Anyway, let’s just head inside yes? The longer I stay in the sun, the stickier my shirt gets, and I am certainly too lazy to trek back to the carriage to get my replacement shirts. So let's just hurry before I get drenched in sweat.” I stated.

Solum just hummed to himself for a moment while gazing up at Uxie. He then quickly shook his head when he realized I was staring at him.

“Well yes of course. The heat is starting to get to me as well. My wife say that I need the extra sunshine to get some strength back. But… all I’m feeling from it is the verge of a heat stroke.” The old stud commented before finally leading the way to his abode.

I of course followed, along with my protection and his guard as well into the belly of the stone beast. I wonder now what Bakuss and Susi might be doing back at the city. Certainly more productive things than me. I’m positive on that.

Chapter 40: Building up back home

Chapter 40: Stuff happening back home.

Edited by: The Great Khan

Bakuss was busy sitting behind a counter, reviewing the names of the many recruits who had just enlisted into the army, primarily focusing on their physical results along with their historical backgrounds. The new waves of potential recruits were a true gift by the gods, as the recently established outposts on the northern coastlines have reported Minotaur-type ships sailing along the northern fringes of the Zebrican continent, most likely scouting out the coastlines for possible landing sites, or simply keeping a close eye on them.

The not-so-distant defeat they suffered certainly created a sense of unease back on their islands. The Minotaurs were known to be quite prideful and spiteful at the same time, and suffering such a defeat from a previously splintered nation would certainly steer up quite a bit of unrest within the minds of the Minotaur king and his vassals.

It was definitely just a matter of time before they saw the Zebras’ slow buildup of power as a possible threat to their own dominance within the region, launching yet another full-scale invasion, though with a vastly larger force than they first invaded with.

Plus, it was also just a matter of time before other nations start taking the Zebras seriously as well, especially with the rapid expansions the king was planning to lay out.

The old Zebrican Empire expanded out too; far more than just their ancestral homeland during its heyday. Many vassal states and tributaries were also part of its vast riches, with the Minotaurs having been one of them.

War would be imminent if the king planned to reclaim all of the Empire’s lost territories from their old rivals. Unless the king can somehow pull a solution out of his pants to prevent a major war from happening in the first place, and it was not outside the realm of possibility that the king would do just that.

The king was certainly full of unexpected surprises. That much was clear.

Though at the same time Bakuss wasn’t exactly sure how long it would take for the king to convince the remaining tribes (the most powerful ones) to also support his claim to the throne, so bolstering up the defenses back home certainly was not a bad idea as long as the most powerful warlords were not onboard with the king's plans. In fact, it was a must as far as Bakuss and Liuanda were concerned.

Right now, all that Bakuss was doing was simply reviewing the names of the new recruits.

Though one name in particular quickly drew the captain’s attention.

“Najero? The Najero? Really, the little market thief signed up to join the guard?” Bakuss wondered out loud as he scratched his head.

That was certainly someone he didn’t expect to see on the list. The name of that little hardheaded thief joining the military.

Liuanda stepped up from behind the captain to look at what Bakuss was referring to.

She hummed when seeing the name. “Well yes, I actually saw him taking part in this morning’s test exercises along with his group. I was just as surprised as you when I first recognize him. Though he did lacked a certain level of… enthusiasm, when I spoke to him. I would guess that someone forced him, or maybe talked him into joining the training program. That would at least explain how such a rebellious little thief even joined this program in the first place.” Liuanda responded while thinking back to the training she had to supervised that morning, despite her injuries.

So many new and young faces. Most of them having most likely never worked through a proper job yet by the looks of them. Joining the army pays well, but it obviously comes with great risks when ‘shit hits the fan,’ as the king would often state.

Especially in times like these where rivaling nations and races are pointing their attentions at the Zebra lands with great vigilance.

“Well...” Bakuss began before placing the papers down. “We’ll just have to make do. At this point, any fresh new hooves we get are better than nothing, and the changelings themselves still seem to be too busy at the moment to really lend any significant aid if war does come. At least, that's what the new queen informed me of this morning.” He commented with a sigh.

“Well either way, we have to make-do with what we have now. Focus on the program and let the others do their own thing. Like Akunezzar keeping a personal eye on the land reclamations outside the city. It's actually quite fascinating just how much is being worked on all at once. All of these projects must cost more than just a fortune.” Liuanda wondered while rubbing her chin.

Bakuss nodded. “Well, it kinda is. But wealth is certainly no issue for the king. Nor are resources.” He added, referring to the massive stash of gold and valuable stored away inside the Palace vaults.

“Anyway, let’s head back outside and see how the training tests are going. The next group of recruits should already be in the middle of their physical exercise.” Bakuss stated before getting up from his chair and moving towards the open door that led outside, right onto a balcony which overlooked the training grounds outside.

Shining unopposed, with hardly any clouds nearby, the harsh sun of the Zebrican desert was as vigilant to make this day just as hot as any other day in these harsh lands.

And It's not even summer yet.

“Darn, today’s certainly another extremely hot day. I can only imagine what the visitors and traders in the city are feeling right now.” Bakuss commented out loud while shielding his eyes momentarily from the sudden shift in brightness.

There was certainly some truth to his statement. The Zebras in comparisons were naturally adapted to such climates, and even Bakuss was feeling a bit uncomfortable when standing out in the sun to long

The heat and never-ending glare of the sun was hell for anyone else who isn’t a Zebra. An opinion reinforced when Bakuss spotted a changeling on the eastern wall of the barracks chugging down a whole jug full of water as if his life depended on it.

It actually might have, as he couldn't imagine that a race of subterranean hybrids were even remotely suited for the hot and dry climates of the Zebrican desert.

Very few insectoids were from what he knew, and Bakuss could tell changelings were part bug from just by looking at them. Though of course he wouldn’t openly say that, in case saying so was offensive to them.

Bakuss expelled those thoughts from his mind before focusing back on the training below him. Watching as large groups of new recruits were being drilled for their physical test, which then led into a more mental exercise later on to see if they had the attention needed for the job as well.

After that, the real work for him began; combing through all the potential recruits and see who truly had the stuff to join and who was better off contributing their part to the nation with more civil services.

Thinking about that made Bakuss groan, as he wasn’t exactly a fan of paper work.

“Are you Captain Bakuss of the Palace Guard?” A random voice suddenly asked, which caused Bakuss to nearly jump in surprise, especially when the voice came from directly above him, which was a bit confusing.

He looked upwards, raising his eyebrow in confusion when he saw absolutely nothing.

“A little bit further back.” The same voice suddenly stated.

He followed its advice, turning his head and looking upwards behind him. What greeted him was a changeling guard perched on top of his roof, gazing down at him.

He again raised an eyebrow at this before fully turning himself around with Liu following in turn.

“Yes, that is me, and who might you be?” Bakuss question.

The changeling cleared his throat. “I am guard officer Prine of the Queen's royal guard, and I have come to personally inform you that the queen wishes to speak with you again at dawn. If that’s possible, that it.” The changeling responded.

Bakuss hummed to that. “Well, I see no reason to deny her such a request. I have a good guess on what might be on her mind, thinking back to the talk we had this morning. Go ahead and inform the queen that I will be here at dawn.” Bakuss responded back.

The changeling guard nodded, before buzzing his obsidian-armored ass out of the scene, leaving both Liu and Bakuss as they were before he arrived.

“Hmmm, flight. That’s certainly something that we should capitalize on. Not to mention their magical abilities as well.” Bakuss mumbled to himself, which Liu managed to overhear.

“Won’t the shamans and priests oppose the use of magic? Our kind hasn’t been exactly keen on making use of magic before in history. We've gotten on well enough without it. Plus, it goes against our cultural and religious teachings.” Liuanada openly criticized.

Bakuss sigh. “I know, but… times are changing. Magic has become a lot more prominent these days then it has been during the age of the old Empire. And I’m not just talking about us, but with many other races across the world as well. From what I’ve heard from one of the temple schools, the number of unicorns in the pony lands has significantly increased over the past millennia, for example. That of course gives way to a much greater use of magic and magically enchanted gear and weapons. If we ever want to fight fire with fire, then we better start lighting up our own set of torches to properly guard ourselves against the incoming inferno. We need to weigh our options here.” He explained.

Liu tapped her chin in thought. “Wait… isn’t what the shamans use just another form of magic as well? Brewing those glowing concoctions and communing with the spirits inhabiting these lands?” She wondered.

Bakuss nodded. “Yes, but it's a lot more passive than what I was talking about, and relying only on the magical residue that is natural within almost every living being instead of tapping into the magical winds directly is going to be problematic when we start having an enemy that uses magic in a more offensive way. I doubt that all of those shamans can really brew up and get the ingredients needed to make magic-resistant potions for a whole army. There aren’t enough shamans or even High Shamans out there to cover such a demand, and most of the… lesser shamans, I guess I can call them, don’t have the necessary skills or knowledge to create those more advanced potions. I asked a local shaman the other day downtown who informed me of this reality. Only the High Shamans within every tribe know the secrets of brewing some of the most powerful potions out there. So making use of the changelings’ innate magical abilities is almost going to be a must, unless another solution can be found.” Bakuss stated.

This forced Liu to scratch her head at the flood of knowledge and suggestions while looking back down at the training in front of them. She personally didn’t have the privilege of visiting one of the temple schools in her youth, so she didn’t have anything else to input without running the risk of sounding stupid.

She would normally be down there taking part with the active instruction of the recruits, but her injured leg and the crutch she was momentarily relying on made that rather difficult to do. Maybe she was a bit of a workaholic as some of her peers liked to call her. Perhaps she should just take this opportunity to go visit her grandmother at the westernmost edge of town, instead of running around the guards barracks in full gear and on an injured leg that made just trotting somewhat of a chore.

She mentally sighed. “Is it ok if I excuse myself, sir? With these injuries on my legs, I’m not exactly a massive help with this recruitment program. Besides doing paperwork, maybe.” She asked.

Bakuss nodded. “Sure thing, in fact, I'm somewhat concerned as to why you’re even here again in full battle gear with that encased leg of yours. Go do something sensible with yourself and take a break until your leg is fully healed. I have enough officers and guards to get back too, so don’t worry.” The captain responded.

Liuanda nodded back, before giving her goodbyes and excusing herself from his presence, leaving Bakuss to stand alone on top of the balcony overlooking the ongoing training tests below. Zebras marched in columns or formation, while others performed basic physical training, such as weight lifting, carrying, and sprinting around the barracks.

Overall a typical routine. Barking officers and new recruits being fitted with gear and weapons, being trained on how to move in their new armor, marching and engaging in a formation with a full set of battle gear.

Bakuss was about to return to his office when he suddenly spotted a very distinct looking Zebra out of the corner of his eye. A certain market thief, who had just arrived with a brand new group of recruits who were going to be next in the full gear marching and formation-forming exercise.

Bakuss was intrigued by this and decided to capitalize on the moment before he eventually makes the decision of truly letting him into the guard. He’d like to question the little misfit of a stallion personally.

“Hey you!” Bakuss shouted to the officer leading this new group below him.

The aforementioned Zebra gazed up from his position and gave Bakuss his full attention.

“You there, can you send THAT Zebra over there up to me? I wish to speak with him personally.” Bakuss ordered while pointing his hoof at the Zebra in question.

The guard nodded, before approaching the rather un-enthusiastic looking Najero and telling him to get into the officers wing and to get himself up to the second floor.

Bakuss watched as Najero did just that. Watching him disappear through the door beneath him and allowing his group to get on with the day's test training.

Bakuss of course returned to his office and waited for Najero to show up from the stairwell to the right of Bakuss’ desk.

It didn’t take too long for the neutral-looking stallion to show up and stand in front of Bakuss’ desk.

Bakuss on the other hand took his time to eye the stallion over first before finally addressing him directly.

“So… never thought that I would see YOU taking part in this program. A former market thief and night life troublemaker joining the guard. Who in the gods’ names did you manage to piss off now that you had to resort to such… drastic measures. Or did someone talk you into it, for various reasons?” Bakuss questioned, getting straight to the point.

Najero silently grumbled to himself before replying. “The second one. I was talked into doing this. Simple as that.” He responded, at least confirming one thing.

“I see, and who might that be?” He asked again.

Najero sighed. “My sister. Getting food and coin has started to become more and more of a hassle, and getting constantly caught these days by you guys isn’t exactly healthy in keeping our old life style going, so taking up an actual profession is the only option now. Still not a fan, though.” He answered flatly.

Bakuss hummed at that while rubbing his chin. He could imagine how that conversation must have gone between the two. It is true though that basic thievery became a lot harder for even the smallest of low-lives since the number and efficiency of patrols had been increased and laws properly enforced. Just as it should be.

Plus, the added bonus now of having shape-shifting, magic-casting, flight-capable changelings in the populace also made it hard for things to stay hidden. Even basic changelings had made it a priority to report any shady happening to nearby patrols, which was obviously a bonus in keeping the city streets clean and lawful.

All of that should help in keeping more or future wannabe troublemakers off the streets and the city entirely. The less petty thievery he had to investigate the more time he could focus on bolstering the guards with fresh new members. And having Najero here of all Zebras proves the overall accessibility of this position. No former skills needed, just a fit and healthy body and a sense of perception. Fitness and loyalty can easily be trained later on if those two are lacking from the beginning. So really, any child could sign up for the guard if they wanted to. Though obviously accepting actual children was out of the question, unless things got really bad, of course.

This was just a mental comparison on Bakuss’ part.

But he was of course still a bit skeptical about the situation, given Najero’s and Nami’s track records. Granted, they were never part of anything grand or scandalous, never getting themselves associated with any major crimes. But they had always proved themselves to be annoying little sand flies rather than either wasps or mosquitoes. Never really causing damage but always there to somewhat annoy him or his fellow citizens.

But alas who cares, especially knowing that the increasing build up of security and law enforcement was really growing its own flowers. This could finally steer those two onto a more contributing path to society and no longer be annoying little flies flying in front of Bakuss’ face.

So it was a win-win for him, and possibly for Najero as well if he pulled through. He could finally do something else besides stealing from market vendors or doing questionable things with his sister. Bakuss still had that one memory stuck in his head that he had problems getting rid off.

“Well… anyway, just go ahead and rejoin your group with your test exercises. Just do what the instructor tell you to do and you should be fine. I have a lot of paperwork to do afterwards. So… if you please.” Bakuss stated.

Najero just sighed before casually giving bakuss a nod and excusing himself off to do as instructed. Bakuss could tell from his expression that he wasn’t too keen on being told to do things, but that was to be expected from a character like him.

But alas, this was just the first step, after all. Once he gets properly accepted into the guard, then most of that rebellious attitude should be pounded out of him.

Or so he hoped. He probably needed to keep a personal eye on him later down the line. Perhaps even take full control over his regiment as well just to be sure.

Bakuss sighed. “His presence is just going to end up putting piles of paperwork on my desk, I just know it. Perhaps having him here is not such a good idea after all. But hey, it’s worth a try at least.” Bakuss mumbled, before returning his attention back to the stacks of papers next to him.

Time to see who isn’t fit for this job. Somehow looking through a lot of papers was far more tiring than marching along with the troops in the glaring mid-day sun of the Zebrican desert.

Paperwork, the bane of all stallions and mares.

Chapter 41: I may be part within this Trojan war after all

Edited by: The Great Khan

“I think he’s not digesting the coconut tea so well. He looks rather… stiff now ever since he took his first sip of it.” I heard one of the servants behind me whisper as I was indeed busy being stiff and staring down into my half empty cup of coconut tea that was given to me.

This bloody thing was delicious, the creamy taste, the overall flavor or coconut milk itself and the added sweetening of sugar cane made sugar is just turning this previously normal expecting taste into something which could almost rival my lust for some good old cappuccino.

Almost.

Alas, I did what had to be done when faced with this mind blowing realization. Taking full advantage of it and emptying the remaining content in my cup with one big gulp and immediately demanding more from the servants behind me, who of course flinched back in absolute shock at my quick and smooth transition from one to the other.

Peoples should pay me for such a performance. It's not like you can watch a man twist his torso so freaking quickly everyday. Especially when said man is as magnificent as me. Black pajama pants and ruffled up hair and all. But alas, I am here on a diplomatic mission rather than performing circus acts and asking for donations.

I have enough gold and riches to drown myself ten times over back at my over-sized estate to start caring about money. But then again, you can never have enough money after all. So this idea of me performing never before seen feats of bodily movements for a reasonable amount of money is certainly something to file into the “great ideas for the future” section of my mind. But for now, let's just focus back on the matter at hand before I make myself more of a fool in front of these fine gentlemen.

Well, more so then I’ve done already.

I turned my attention back to Solum after receiving my second cup of tea and downing it down almost immediately afterwards before requesting another without even looking.

“So as you have previously guessed during our previous discussion, I did come here for a very specific purpose. One which is crucial in keeping the peace within these lands.” I began, before taking another sip of my newly filed tea cup and almost emptying it as well.

Solum was of course curious to my statement as he mimicked me. Taking a sip of his tea as well and allowing me to continue.

“It is about Tenojek, and the accusations he made about your son having possible kidnapped his daughter after his diplomatic mission. I just wished to know your side of the story.” I finally announced.

This question caused Solum to almost choke on his tea as he slammed one of his hooves against his chest to clear his air pipes from his tea. Servants nearby where of course rushing over to him to try and assist in his struggles. But he quickly waved them off before finally regaining both of his composure and right to breath as a living being.

A huffed for a couple of moment before switching his attention back to me.

“Wait...you mean to say that you have been to the Stepped Riders before coming here? Well, that at least explains the direction you and your caravan hailed from.” The old man responded.

He composed himself first before continuing. “If you are here to accuse my own son of kidnapping that hard head’s daughter then I sadly must disappoint you. I know my son and know for a fact that he would never stoop so low as to abduct anyone. Even if I tell him to do so. He is to much of a… playcolt I guess is the term, to bother himself with so much trouble. He is far better with his tongue then he is with a blade. That’s why I sent him forth that day to deal with the ongoing dispute I have with Tenojek about the copper-rich canyons that lay right between us. The thing is, my tribe is making most of its profits by mining nearby sources of ore and then selling it all across the lands. The rugged, deep cliffs and canyons dotting these lands are quite rich in ore. Iron, copper, zinc, and even traces of silver are what my tribe has been mining for many generations. The issue I have with this Tenojek is simply that he claims ownership of this new large copper vain to the south west, even though it lies closer to us then it does to them. They are already wealthy enough on their own thanks to their numerous caravans moving goods all across the lands. So taking claim of something that normally should belong to us in both profession and trade is just foolish in my eyes. We have the miners, not them.” Solum stated, pretty much doing the same things as Tenojek, and just dumping me with so much exposition in one go that it must look pretty horrible if you actually write it down.

Either way, despite his long ass response, it was still easy to understand what the fuck he was bitching about. Just your typical land dispute with a sense of “business” tagged behind it.

Despite being more of a tribal organization, these Zebras are actively practicing the art of good old Capitalism to a T, without them even knowing it.

I would normally be complaining about how American influence has somehow snakes its way into this otherworldly society as well. But I of course needed to focus more on the information at hand. Or rather, the lack of it, as I am still completely completely clueless about Tenojek’s daughter's whereabouts.

Maybe his son can give me some clues, if it really wasn’t him that took Tenojek's daughter, that is.

“Say, can I maybe speak with your son about any possible information regarding Tenojek’s daughter, and if he might have seen her or even talked to her while he was there. I’d like to get his end of the story as well.” I requested.

Solum shook his head though, to my surprise. “That is actually the second issue I am dealing with. My son hasn’t returned from his diplomatic trip as well, making ME think that he might have been held hostage by my southern rivals. But after having heard your story, I doubt that this is the case.” He responded.

This was certainly an outcome I was not expecting. His son missing as well? This is certainly not how the Trojan war started. It was supposed to be just the kidnapping of one, not two.

This is certainly annoying. Especially for such a big history buff like myself… and of course for the sadness of now having two missing persons instead of just one.

Gotta set my priorities straight here as to what I should feel the most annoyed by. Telling him that I felt more annoyed of the fact that this isn’t exactly like Troy now would probably be a bad thing. But then again, I really doubt that he even knows what Troy is or the Iliad at all.

Unless this world also has its own version of Homer Simpson. In that case hope that he will be a citizen of a far away country instead of mine. I really don’t need idiocy, but rather more ridiculousy instead. If that’s even a word.

But alas, it doesn’t matter, like with so many other unrelated thoughts and ideas running through my skull that are completely unnecessary to have in the many different scenarios I somehow find myself in on an almost daily basis.

Like this one for example. Better start making a respond quickly before this old man over there can start questioning the intricacy of my highly complex psyche. Or rather, the lack of attention I am showing at such a critical discussion about border disputes and missing children. Good thing that both Penelope and Uxie were here to momentarily divert the chieftain’s attention away from me during my monologues, by being just as light headed as they usually are.

Like, Uxie doing the whole “floaty play” thing which of course drew most of the room’s attention. It's certainly not everyday where you get to see two individual giving the laws of physics the big middle finger.

So this was my chance to save face while everyone was distracted. All according to plan… I think.

“So… your own son hasn’t returned from his trip as well? Interesting, quite interesting.” I openly stated, which caused everyone to focus their attention back onto me.

Specifically Solum, who in turn raised an eyebrow at this. “Uhm… interesting?” He responded.

I nod. “Well yes, having two missing sons and daughters from two rival tribes is very interesting indeed. It could certainly be possible that these two had possibly enough of your ongoing bickery and just decided to simply escape all of it by venturing off into the big wide world together. A life filled with both challenges and and equally amount of romance. A typical beginning of every cheesy love story out there. Probably even in this world.” I theorized with a smile.

Solum on the other hand just gave me a ‘WTF, that is bullshit’ type of expression which was certainly unexpected. I wasn’t aware that such dramatic expressions were even possible in this world, let alone with a full beard combo. Well, almost full beard, as I can still see his mouth clearly within his forest of gray colored facial hair.

But besides that. It was obviously time to backtrack now, before I’m forced to somehow pull a camera out of nowhere and take a picture of this glorious piece of art.

My cell phone actually has a camera on it, hut I sadly left it back at the castle alongside a quarter of my attention span. Damn, I’m really bad at this. Stop thinking about unrelated stupid things and focus more on the actual task at hand. Or rather, stop thinking at all just to be sure. Though this idea is a double bladed sword on its own. As proven shortly.

“Piggy ping buttocks.” I boldly, or rather randomly stated while raising a finger to the air.

Told you that turning off you brain completely was a terrible idea.

Time to re-engage my brain again before I accidentally say something that would contradict the existence of all reality and logic.

Like with the whole chicken and the egg paradox. Knowing the full truth of what truly came first would surely make anyone brain dead in mere seconds. Mostly because of the actual answer for it being so damn boring and disappointing.

Just like with my first ever trip to Disneyland. When I accidentally learned that the persona playing as Minnie Mouse’s inside its costume was actually a guy, and not a chick.

My believes and sense of reality were forever shattered that day, along with my intentions of every returning to THAT particular Disneyland… in Paris, France. But the others are still pretty much ok in my book. I always wanted to visit Hong Kong just so that I can get through my world shattering experience all over again. One piece of sanity at a time.

“Either way, jokes aside...” I suddenly began, trying to divert attention from the previous comment with a new one. “...It could also be possible that the two were somehow abducted by a third party. Maybe a gang of raiders, bandits, or another group of misfits or gangsters? It would certainly make sense to think so, considering the fact on just how sparsely populated these lands really are. Anyone can easily disappear here if they wanted too. It's not too hard to do once you leave the safeties of these walls. Same with any other area on this continent. Especially when we’re talking about a desert.” I theorized, while also trying to take this job a little bit more seriously instead of adding in some shitty-ass love cliché bullshit into every story I do.

God knows that there are certainly enough of those from where I came from. The internet is full of grindy little love shack tales and some of the nastiest fetishes you can imagine.

Like fucking somewhere in a savanna bush or an old sand dune. Which Nami and Najero actually did. A memory which will now sadly never leave my subconscious mind thanks to psychology.

Shocking and surprising scenes always have the tendency to stick within someone's mind, like a well-chewed bubblegum on a hot sidewalk. Those sticky bastards.

Either way, Solum on his part looked rather thoughtful at my given alternative, which was exactly what I wanted him to do in order to forget my previous theory. He hummed to himself before finally adding his own piece towards my theory.

“Well… it's possible, raiders are certainly a possibility. Especially since more and more foreigners are trudging through these lands, like with those Gryphons my scout have spotted further south.” He commented while rubbing his chin.

Now it was my turn to rub my chin, mostly on the memory I had about those Gryphon poachers I encountered a while back. This could actually be a possibility, I mean if there's one group of poachers doing their mischievous deeds throughout these lands, then who can say that there aren’t more out there doing the same fucking thing.

I mean the name Gryphon alone is giving me all kinds of ideas. From what I know, those bird-cat hybrids are omnivorous in nature, just like me. Needing both the vitamins of fruits and vegetables and the fats and iron from meat. Any meat really, perhaps even Zebra meat for the more extreme quadruped birds.

But I am once again just pulling shit out of my ass to make these seem or sound a lot more dramatic than it really needs to be. I doubt that eating another sapient species is socially accepted with these different races. Unless, they want a war in their hands, claws, paws, hooves or whatever smart animals they are.

This is certainly another question I need to follow whenever I have the time to even remember it in the first place. Like how many different races and species are out there, and what their overall diets are.

Being a full-blooded carnivore could certainly lead to a species that has terrible relations with everyone. Being possible warlike as well, similar to the Spartans or some other warrior-focused society back in my world.

I wonder how that would look in a world such as this. Four-legged Spartans. Silly but adorable. In context at least.

Either way, I loudly mumbled some undecipherable gibberish as I continued to exercise this idea of raiders having kidnapped both Solum’s son and Tenojek’s daughter.

This certainly has gotten a lot more complex than I wanted it to be. If I had known this beforehand, then I would have certainly stayed back in Achaemidia and be all lazy and shit. Let these two old-timers murder each other over some silly ol’ land dispute and a general misunderstanding of two kids going rough.

Then, when everything was said and done, I could have simply swept through what was left of their strongholds and taken full control over their tribesman myself.

Cruel, deceptive and assholery, but effective.

Sometimes certain sacrifices must be made for the greater good of a whole nations. Even when it means doing absolutely nothing, because I am kinda terrible in doing almost anything unless some huge amount of luck is involved.

Which it kinda is on my side of things. Lets not circle jerk around a circle here and say that it was all skill and no luck.

Or was it skill? Sometimes, I even surprise myself with the unknown capabilities I seem to possess. I was pulled from my world to this one because these midget horses were trying to bring in the next bloodline of their previous bloodline.

I personally have no idea what this means but what I do know is that their is a lot of blood involved. If I didn’t know any better then I would have guessed that the previous Monkey Kings where all vampires. Until you realize that the city is located in a middle of a desert where the sun always shines.

The very last place where a vampire really wants to be. A freaking desert, or rather continent where it’s all warm and bright. Vampire Hell, basically. So no epic vampire lord form for me then.

Buggers.

Crap, I am getting distracted again. Curse me and my thousand-hour playthrough of Skyrim. I guess getting zapped into this world truly was a good thing… minus becoming an instant king of course. Otherwise I would have done the same things with the Elders Scrolls 6 and burned through my monthly coffee provision faster than my personal finances allowed. Which wasn’t much in case someone was wondering.

I quickly shook my head after that last thought. Getting up from my crossed sitting position and throwing the bronze made tea cup over my shoulders for some extra drama. To bad that one of the tea kettle-carrying servants was standing right behind me, which created a much louder ruckus than I originally thought that a small bronze cup could be capable off.

No matter, this is spilled coconut tea we are talking about. Not spilled coffee. So there's no need for either a justified tantrum scene or a “Schrei Krampf” as I am more prone to do.

Time to stop wasting time and do something productive for a change that can get this bloody story going, if I ever bother to write a diary about myself and my daily exploits in these lands.

Maybe I should hire a scribe or historian who will constantly follow me around in order to do all of my in depth recording for me.

Yeah… yeah I should probably do that so that I don’t make myself look like such a madman constantly. At least, not more than I already am.

“Ok, then it’s settled.” I declared loudly and boldly to get everyone’s attention once more.

I guess I am slowly starting to understand why dictators were so influential in the first place. Being loud obviously removes any need for actual governing knowledge or skills in order to succeed. Just be loud and bold and you will lead millions to die for your own selfish needs. From either war, famine, or personal mass murder.

Politicians, the worst psychos and sociopaths of all time. Take those drug traffickers, slave traders and child molesters out of jail, and replace them with past, present, and future politicians. Cause those are the true criminals.

Like me… for again wasting everyone’s precious time of their limited lives. Especially mister old-timer over here.

“Let's go out there and scout out the lands for any shady characters and capture them for interrogations. One of them surely must know who or what does what and where within these lands that are counted as illegal. Foreigners or no foreigners, and if their info stays true, then we might actually also have a plausible lead as to what might have truly happened to both your son and Tenojek’s daughter here. One way or another.” I announced loudly.

Though to my surprise, Solum actually shook his head at my offers which was truly a first. Usually people around me always automatically agree to whatever crazy shit or silly plan I come up with. So having someone doing the unthinkable was… impressive.

But whatever. Better listen to what this Solomon rip-off has to say before I once again drift off into my own consciousness.

“You think I haven’t thought of that before? Every time I send my scouts out there to comb through the lands around us and even those further south, they always come back with zero leads and even some rather… aggressive confrontations with some Riders, which originally made me think that perhaps that hot head to the south had something to do with the disappearance of my son. But again… after having heard your story it seems that my assumption were false. Though I am still quite prepared to hold Tenojek accounted for them. He should have a much better hold over his territory to prevent incidents such as these. Egotistic, bold and blind to his own lands as well. I don’t know how he even got the position of chieftain of his tribe to be honest.” Solum complained in the end, giving me more examples as to how deep the rift between the two truly must be.

These two would have surely gone to war with one another if I haven’t suddenly showed up the way I did to add a little bit of my own personal spice into this to force them to take a breather. Have some water, or even milk to quench the burns inside their mouths.

And no I am not talking about THAT kind of spice. Get your filthy fetish-filled minds out of the gutters. It isn’t healthy and not insane enough, just disgusting in most instances.

But either way, I wasn’t going to give up just yet to have my way in this petty feud and then claim all the credit in the end if all of it works out.

Because nothing says “I am truly worthy of your allegiance” than to be fully responsible for solving a dispute peacefully.

I was not going to let this sit. “Well, still. I think the way you did it was probably a bit to obvious for anyone to take the bait. I would guess those search parties you send out where most likely made out of large scouting teams armed to the teeth. If that is the case then getting any from of results is certainly going to be a slog. I mean, who in their right mind is going to confront a heavily armed and well-trained team of warriors? Certainly not a band of mischievous raiders or outlaws, that’s for sure. They are desperate, but certainly not stupid.” I stated, doing my usual guessing and theory throwing.

Though judging by his silence I guess I was right. Though he still responded with a raised eyebrow at my statement; something that is rather typical for these Zebras to do whenever I open my mouth.

I am the great eyebrow-raiser from planet Earth. A title I should probably add to my name, just to make sure that visiting dignitaries know what they are walking into. Or… maybe not. I like the element of surprise after all and keeping my potential enemies on their toes if they even have any.

In this world, you never know.

“Oh… then may I ask if you have any better ideas? Sending my scouts out all alone with very little gear is something I am not to fond in doing, even in the most dire of circumstances. It is my job to keep them safe and alive, after all.” Solum asked, which I guess was kinda predictable given the topic.

“Well yes...” I began while raising a finger. “I shall go, and I will only take a few of my most trusted guards with me with only their swords, and a really large umbrella. Say what you want about this plan, but I am of course not stupid enough to go out there with the sun burning through thinly woven shirt. I am daring, but not retarded.” I announced, with great confidence and a lot of self beatings in order to keep the more rational site of my mind to shut up.

I will admit, this concept of mine was fairly stupid. Even dangerous to some extent if something is out there that goes grabby-grabby on lonely people’s asses.

But hey, who I am to constantly preach madness or insanity without doing something completely stupid for once? Stupidity is on what society is build on. It takes the really stupid ideas to fail in order for the good once to take their place.

Sacrifices is the key word here. And I am fully prepared to make this stupid sacrifice so that others don’t steal the spotlight from me as the “Best King of the Month” awards.

I am sure that such a contest exists somewhere in the stupidly expensive fabric of the multiverse. You just gotta look far enough through the looking glass in order to find wonderland where such concept are not as crazy as one might think.

But whatever. Just like with so many other ideas I’ve come up with. I will just let future Alexander get bitten in the ass while present Alexander continues to feel good about himself for being so heroic… before then turning back into a villain at the next day.

I need to balance my Karma after all. Similar how a gray Jedi balances the light side and the dark side of the force. True patriots of “fuck the rules” of the emo-oriented Sith and the robot monk Jedi.

But I’m just getting off topic again so I better stop. Better bring this plan into action now before I can have second thoughts. I feel confident however as I have a living flamethrower and blood bender with me. Though on second thought, taking Penelope with me would be seen as irresponsible. So I better leave her here with someone to lighten my load. Plus, to also prevent myself to running bare skin around a sun-battered wasteland.

I like to keep myself protected as much as I can, which is why one of my companions is going to carry the parasol for me. If I can find one that is. I kinda left mine back at the city because I had the assumption that it wouldn’t be as unbearably hot down south as it was up north.

I was wrong, dead wrong. A stupid mistake I will surely not make twice to save my life… and my need for a comfortable day outside my room.

See what I mean about how making stupid decisions sometimes is rather necessary? Now I know that I will always bring my own parasol with me no matter where I go.

But now, I better start asking for one and then inform one of my guards of this little field trip what we are doing and to deny any objections he might offer against this field trip.

Because nothing spells being a boss more than to ignore your employees and do your own thing.

Solum of course was not so convinced about this plan, as expected. Though he surprisingly didn’t say much… or rather, nothing at all while I was busy with my own thoughts running loose inside my subconscious Zoo.

Another first by my usual standards. I’m not sure if I should like it or hate it?

But alas, it might actually be a good thing that he didn’t openly question my rather silly decision of acting as bait. Because now I can just put my plan into action without wasting anymore time.

But one thing first. “Say, do you perhaps have a very large parasol on your possession I might buy or borrow? You know, something to shield myself from the deadly rays of the sun so that I can stay as baby smooth as I do now. It is very important to me… to not sweat.” I asked while rubbing my chin.

It was time to get this investigation on the forefront. One way or another.

Chapter 42: Getting carted of to Helgen

Chapter 42: Getting carted off to Helgen

Edited by: The Great Khan

“With all due respect Your Highness… this idea is downright stupid. Even dangerous if there are truly raiders out here!” My personal lead guard stated as we were casually standing on top of a cliff. Overlooking the sands and canyons behind us, and the edges of the steppes to the south.

I grinned. “I know, right? This is exactly why we're doing it in the first place. Just the four of us. Not counting Uxie, as he is mostly zipping about the place and examining everything. Also, could you move a little bit closer to me? I made you my personal parasol carrier for a reason. This sun isn’t exactly good for my skin, in case you didn’t know.” I stated while pointing at the guy. Not just as a sun shield, but also because of the fact that thing was equipped with a sharp Iron tip at the end for some good old stabby stabby.

Even something as innocent in concept as parasols are made to be effective murder weapons in these lands. I don’t know if I should love these Zebra’s or just respect them?

Maybe a bit of both.

Death by a parasol, now that's something I can get behind.

Either way, I happily sighed with satisfaction when the cooling embrace of the parasol's finally encased me in its protective shadow. Funny to say for someone who had previously lived in a rather warm and humid before trading it for something almost as similar. Only a lot dryer and with a lot less mosquitoes.

Anyway, I heard the lead guard next to me sigh after a while as I continued to just stand there with a huge grin on my face as I literally waited for something to happen. At least the view was great. Being able to see for miles in all directions is certainly something I can never get enough of.

If only I had a chair to sit down on so I didn't have to just stand around like this to enjoy the scenery.

Note to self: Bring a chair with me no matter where I go from this point on. And sitting down on one of these rocks is certainly not going to be a pleasant idea either. I like to keep my nuts un-roasted, thank you very much. I still need them… for something.

But enough silly thoughts and stupid distractions. Let's just get back to the task at hand in doing absolutely nothing while sticking out like a sore thumb on top of a cliff face.

I might move DOWN the cliff, for added variety and extra scenes. Because standing around doing absolutely nothing is not exactly entertaining. Especially for those invisible peoples.

“Welp, time to continue on I guess. This view is nice, but I also want to explore. Dumb tourist style of course. To see every crack on every rock and to count every dung beetle I come across who are busy rolling their dungs across the arid landscape. I certainly didn’t come all the way out here for absolutely nothing. Plus, my legs are starting to feel numb, too. I should probably get moving regardless.” I announced before finally bringing my threats to this unclaimed world into reality.

The guard holding the parasol of course tried to follow swiftly, with a hint of difficulty as I was moving just a bit to fast for him for his three legs.

I mean who can blame him? Wait, I can. These guys are trained to use Sarissa’s during combat for God's sake! So something smaller like a parasol shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

It only feels heavy when you think that it feels heavy. Like how you shouldn’t think about the pain when you are in pain. Or just take some painkillers to do the job for you if your own mental fortitude doesn’t suffice.

But whatever. I doubt that a few painkillers are going to make this guard move a tad bit faster, so that I can constantly stay within the shade of my expensively bought parasol. Because silk isn’t cheap, and neither was the shaft apparently. Being made from imported wood or something.

“Uxie, now don’t go hovering off too far ahead of us while chucking rocks at moles and desert goats. Those are not the enemies of the state you should be throwing rocks at. So stop, I'd still like for some of them to survive for my own personal zoo I'm planning to possibly build in the future. The Palace is certainly large enough to house a personal zoo, so I'm going to make use of some of its unused spaced for something equally large and unnecessary. Like a zoo, in my own Palace.” I called out after him as he flew off. Making a bee line for the path down the cliff side which I was aiming for as well.

A path which was leading us down to a very beautiful looking oasis surrounded by cliffs. The water in particular looked absolutely crystal clear from up here. Even more so under the harsh and glaring sun of the Zebrican desert.

“Ooh, I think we might just have discovered the Great Valley. I wonder if little foot and his gang are somehow down there as well? This would certainly give my future zoo a bit more pizzazz if that is the case. Just imagine the number of tourists this will attract. With all of their kids and money.” I commented with a distant smile as I casually walked down the cliff face to reach the oasis down below.

True to my word though, the oasis itself was fairly protected from the elements. Being flanked on all possible sides by very tall cliffs and canyons. A little hidden world if I ever saw one. A perfect spot for someone like me to retreat to, to live my days out as a hermit when my days of being the king are starting to be too stressful.

Or, simply a little personal vacation spot if I ever feel like it. That large lake in particular looks just perfect to have a little swim in. If I had my swimming trunks of course, which I don’t, and jumping in with these thick pajama pants of mine are surely going to be a recipe for some awkward comedy. I wouldn’t be surprised if my pants alone are going to drain half of the lake when I dunk them in. But at least that would give me the perfect opportunity to do the hammer dance from MC Hammer.

Though with a lot more water covering the dance floor, or whatever surface I decided to dig my jig.

But enough thinking about dancing and really thick pants.

“Your Highness, is it alright if we go refill our flasks at the oasis there? They are all empty now since we started aimlessly wandering about the wastelands.” The lead guard whose name I still haven’t bothered to ask requested. Which in turn brought me back to the reality that I was just standing around once again even though there were a innumerable numbers of palms trees in front of me to huddle under.

Though to be fair, I was still under the wonderful protection of the parasol. So… it's pretty easy to miss that I was standing out in the open in the first place.

Time to get my ass back into gear and see if any of these palm trees and bushes have anything edible on them. I'm kinda in the mood for some sweet fruits now that I think about it.

“Well sure thing. Go ahead and do that while I and other Joe over here are going to have a bit of a look around to find ourselves a nice spot to take a rest at for a bit. Also go ahead and take the other guard with you as well. Let him have a little look around as well and see if this place has anything interesting to hide. Basically scouting around if you want to be professional.” I responded.

The guard nodded, giving his other half a non-verbal messages before leading the way to the oasis. This left me and my personal sunscreen at the foot of the cliff. But not for long, as I made my own moves to move. Moonwalk style which certainly ended up perplexing him as he slowly followed me.

And yes, I can moonwalk, so shut up. I certainly didn’t just spend most of my home alone days watching TV, bullying my neighbor and doing all kinds of things with my computer. Also spending most of my free time trying to practice some moves when all of the above didn’t occupy my attention anymore for a certain amount of time. The fruits of my in-between time labor can be clearly seen today, as I danced with an invisible tune in my head while doing the Michael Jackson.

Well, tunes ARE invisible anyway, given the nature of sound waves and all. But I don’t want to get sciencey for the sake of science right now when I am too busy watching my back in case of moon walking myself right against a trunk of a palm or right into a bush.

I am not yet ready to become one with nature in such a way. My hermit days are still too far away from me to start with that.

“Well, that was fun. Now what?” I stated once I reached my destination. Which was… somewhere at the other edge of the oasis in case someone wants to know.

I began to look around myself. Observing as the desert fauna around me gently waved within the soft desert breeze which also blew through my shirt and hair. This area really does reminded me of the “Great Valley” from “the land before fucking hairless apes” walked the good old Earth. A time where nature itself was the only ruler on Earth, until the universe decided to nuke it. Going all Fallout on that bitch and putting on his own set of power armor to mow down some mutants and fuck some Deathclaws.

Seriously though, what is it with these Fallout fans and Deathclaws?

And then the infamous rustling started.

“AHH, dinosaurs! I knew It! Quick, defend your king with your parasol and body! Your flesh is a lot more tastier than mine!" I declared, taking guard behind my guard and even pushing him a bit towards it.

The stallion was understandingly confused at first before his instincts quickly took over as he jump into action. Lowering the parasol as if it were a shield and pointing it directly at the rustling bushes in front of us.

I hate bush rustling. All thanks to the horrible experience I had as a kid when a dog suddenly jumped at me from a bush and caused me to let go of the ice cream cone I was holding. Those stupid dog owners and their throwing sticks.

I am certainly going to shove my boot now at whoever it is who is making this leaf ruckus now. No matter if it's a dinosaur, a dog, or a Deathclaw. I will not idly stand by while my childhood traumas are being relieved thanks to their actions. I will have my vengeance on them. “Koste es was es wolle”.

“Oh wait… false alarm, it's just Uxie.” I stated, as the aforementioned mentioned Pokémon suddenly peeked his big yellow head above the upper edge of the parasol with a banana in his mouth and a couple more floating behind him.

This of course made me to relax a little as another mental crisis was narrowly avoided. I will never forget that dog. NEVER, or the poor little ice cream cone I was destined to devour that day.

Rest in peace my little Ice cream cone. Rest in peace. Also bananas.

“Ooh, look at that. He brought bananas for us. Just what I needed.” I stated happily while reaching out for one, only to more or less receive all of them when Uxie simply dumped the pile directly on top of my open hand. Causing some of them to fall to the ground as well.

I hummed. “Well, note to self. Really need to allow Uxie to train with his psychic abilities in the future.” I noted out loud before peeling one of the remaining bananas in my hand and taking my first bite out of it.

It was sweet, very sweet in fact. Perhaps the sweetest banana I have ever tasted in fact. It really didn’t take me long to devour the rest of the banana before stuffing my face with another.

Yup, this little piece of paradise is certainly mine now if all its bananas taste like this. I call dibs on this hidden oasis with my kingly right. Or claim it with force if I have to. Or maybe not, I don’t want to seem like a total dick when doing so. Maybe I can buy this piece of land off from whoever called dips to it first before I got the chance to call it myself.

Money is, again, no issue for me, as I am bathing in the shit. Just chucking gold bars and oversized gem stones to whoever owns this valley and we can call it close. At some point I will most likely hit the guy's head and “accidentally” kill him because of that.

Then I can easily claim these lands for myself without having to spend a single dime.

Capitalism at its finest people. There is no better way to explain it than this. Just give me a cowboy hat and a funny Texan accident, and I am ready to fulfill my role as a hardcore capitalist.

Teddy Roosevelt will be proud, that fat fuck.

“Oh wait… I'm all out of bananas now.” I stated after I realized that it was true. My stash of bananas was gone, and so where the few which fell to the floor not too long ago with only their peels still existing.

Apparently Uxie managed to eat the rest while I was eating mine. Proven by the fact that he was just finishing off the last banana he had and chucking the peel over his shoulder like a true human being.

Like giving absolutely zero fucks about the environment and just throwing his trash wherever he pleased.

I am so proud of him.

“Say, could you maybe go fetch us some more bananas nearby? I'm sure wherever you found these there is bound to be…” I was about to say before an arrow flying past my face quickly stopped me from finishing my sentence.

I froze, following its trajectory and seeing it casually sticking from a palm tree trunk which was right next to me.

I raised an eyebrow at it. “Well… didn’t realize that my plan of being the bait would work so freaking soon. But then again, I wasn’t exactly prepared for it either as I have no idea what to do if a gang or local raiders do show up. Damn I think I should have really thought this through some more before committing to this horrible idea. Yet again another blunder from yours truly.” I commented while rubbing my chin.

Well, I would have loved to rub it anyway when another arrow sipped past us. This one actually narrowly avoided the parasol guard behind me which did the trick and gave him a momentary fright before once again springing into action.

“Your Highness, get behind me!” He shouted before positioning himself directly where these two shots had come from.

Only problem was that the arrows now also started coming from behind us as well. Making his brave attempt useless. Not that it would have matter in the end regardless, as I doubt that a silk-woven parasol would last long against an entourage of arrows.

Yup, it didn’t, when the sixth arrow fired at us went right through the parasol’s fabric when my last remaining guard was trying to shield himself with it.

The goose is cooked, and not very well I might add as I was still trying to process what the heck was happening around me and where the heck where these arrows coming from. Not the most healthy thing to consider when you are literally standing at the open while arrows are flying all around you.

In fact… they are just flowing around me. Not one seemed to be directly aimed at me, or my guard over here.

Either these raiders need better optics or they are purposely missing us for some tactical reason. One that geared more toward intimidation rather than outright murder.

“Uhm...” I stated when the arrows suddenly stopped flying. Still standing at the same exact spot where I ate all of those bananas by myself. The banana peels around me were proof of that, along with a couple of arrows sticking in the ground.

“Hmm… I think they finally run out of arro-" I was about to say before one more arrow came flying down from a nearby palm tree and raced directly towards my poor guard number 5752 who didn’t even at the time to block with his parasol in hopes of blocking it.

There was neither time nor reason for him to even give out a grunt as the arrow impacted directly onto his helmet. Sending the poor guy flying in the opposite direction before coming to a step right next to the same palm tree where the first arrow landed.

I was of course frozen stiff at that before I quickly realized that it was just a practice arrow of some sort. The arrow head being nothing more than a dummy with a ball shaped tip on top of it.

This of course was good. Well good for me as I don’t have to partake in another funeral so very soon, but also bad for him as he is going to get the mother of all headaches if he ever wakes up.

Now this obviously left me with only me and Uxie standing alone against and unknown number of…

Wait… where exactly was he? I could have sworn that he was still next to me a moment ago when the first arrow was fired.

Shit… he skedaddled off. The little snitch. But alas, who can blame him. He is but a mere child after all for all I know. So having him run… or rather fly off out of danger is better than staying here and getting captured.

I, on the other hand, believe that the time of running was long gone. Plus, I really doubt that I would get far with this heart beating down my skinny form. Or rather, I just don’t wanna run away with the sun beating down against my back in general.

So I simply did the best thing I could think off and raised my arms in a sign that I was ready to give up. These fuckers don’t seemed to be acting with lethal force, so there is certainly some hope for me yet that all shall be well.

Well as well as someone can be when someone is shooting training arrows at you that can still knock you out. But whatever, my apparent attackers were finally revealing themselves from their covers which negated all worries about me getting knocked out next.

At least with an arrow.

They were Gryphons. How do I know? Well, because of their pussy backsides that’s why. Everything else on their bodies though was covered in thick fabrics, to most likely protect against the relentless heat of the Zebrican sun.

Smart, I should probably do that as well the next time I come out here. If there is a next to that is, well… let's hope that my plot armor also holds up here. It would certainly be a tragedy if my story as a king ends here, and I suddenly become the ring leader of a gang instead.

Though such a prospect could be seen as excited as well. Me, the ringleader of a gang. Now there is something to think about.

But not now, especially when two of them quickly approached me wordlessly, with robes clutched in between their claws and tying me up almost just as fast. Same with my knocked out parasol guard, who then was swiftly flown off to God knows where.

One of the Gryphon signaled me to follow him or her. Which I did, wordlessly, especially when arrows where being pointed at me from more Gryphons up above me.

Welp, guess I am going to get carted off to Helgen after all. I just hope that this world's version of Alduin is going to show its big black face as well to save me from executions. Or maybe even Thomas the Tank Engine if we want to be funny.

Hope it is Thomas. Because flying off towards the sunset would never be as cool as doing it with a small blue tank engine with a face.

I should patent this idea before someone else does. I am going to redefine pop-culture with this. Just you wait and see.

Author's Note

A little heads up to all of my reader. I started off a new story on a completely different site because it is not pony related what so ever.

If you like a fic inspired by Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, and what to see yet another story about Alexander being a living talking rose?

Then check out the fic here. https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528397/chapters/43914391

Chapter 43: These Dungeons don’t even have Toilets

Edited by: The Great Khan

Yup, this is exactly like the beginning of Skyrim. Getting carted off as a prisoner along with a bunch of other prisoners. Carts which are being pulled by the same Chocobo-looking birds in case someone would like to know.

Quite the popular beasts of burden I would guess. Even for these half-bird-half-kitten hybrids. It seems kinda pointless for a species of fliers to make use of them. But then again, carrying a bunch of prisoners on your back while flying at the same time is most likely not easy. Not to mention tiring.

Either way, besides me and my fellow guards of course, there were more prisoners beside us. Some more unlucky souls, and even one curious-looking Gazelle. Curious because its head was wrapped up in a thick roll of cloth, with only its muzzle and rune-covered horns sticking out.

Why this Gazelle was wrapped up like it is was a mystery to me. But this situation certainly again reminds me of that one game I have spent way too much time playing. Maybe this Gazelle is this world's version of Ulfric Stormcloak or something? An important leader and wielder of some ancient power or magic, which then would at least explain why his or her head was wrapped up like that in the first place.

Well… only time will tell.

But whatever, let's just focus back on the situation at hand here and rubbing my sore wrists. Because tying some really tight knots doesn’t seem to be a specialty for these Gryphons, or at least for the one who was instructed to tie me up.

“Wait… you're free?” My prison guard suddenly asked as he was sitting right across from me.

I hummed. “Wait, I am? Huh… funny that. But don’t worry, I won’t try to run away or whatever. Because I know I won't get far inside a narrow canyon with fliers chasing after me. So it’s all good.” I stated before leaning back against my seat and making myself just a little bit more comfortable.

“Should we tie him up again?” I heard someone ask, as the cliff walls in front of me continued to slowly pass by.

“Nah, why even bother? As he said himself, he won't get far even if he tried. Plus, we're almost back at the keep as it is, so again why bother?” I heard someone respond.

“In fact, there it is.” The same voice quickly added as the cliff walls in front of me suddenly began to widen up before disappearing completely.

We were now traveling through an open flat land with just a couple of large rocks being its only feature. Besides that, the nameless Gryphon was right with his statement. Standing on top of a lonely hill was, in fact, a keep. A rather run down looking one with part of its walls missing and sloppily replaced with some wooden palisade.

“Lower the drawbridge!" I heard someone shriek from the head of this depressing carnival train once we reached the main gates of this sandstone-colored keep.

“Well, here we are. Wonder what awaits us inside once we cross the threshold? Certainly can’t be anything good when they tie us up like this.” One of the prisoners sighed as the train of depressed individuals began to move past the bridge and into the maw of the keep.

Once inside, the drawbridge behind us was slowly retracted, trapping us inside as the carts continued to roll into the courtyard. Tall walls surrounding us on all sides, even though most of them looked to be in serious need of repair.

I wonder if these walls would work for fliers? Probably not. Which is kinda dump in a world such as this. But then again, their aren’t a lot of native fliers living on this continent anyway. At least to my knowledge there aren’t.

But let's not dwell on that. Especially when it seemed to be the end of the line for all of us. The Gryphons started to unpack the prisoners one by one once the carts were halted. One at a time, starting with the mysterious Gazelle interestingly enough, along with a few random Zebras who were on the same cart as it. Though they seemed a bit indistinguishable in both looks and accessories for me to really pinpoint who they belonged to. Like which tribe they were from.

The next ones to disembark were my three personal guards. All of them completely naked and stripped of all of their gear and weapons, which was understandable. And lastly me of course. The big tall freak of a hairless ape with more glory then actual guts.

“Hello… are you listening, weird creature? I said get off the cart!” One of the Gryphons stated, sounding quite impatient by the sound of it.

Fek… even in dire situations such as this, my own thoughts are prone in allowing me to space out. I already told myself this, but my erratic attention span is certainly going to be the death of me one day. If not that, then an overdose of caffeine. If such a thing is even possible.

Do these hybrid jokers even have coffee in this shithole of a fortress? I hope so...for their sake.

“For the last time, get off the cart or I will-” The same rude head tried to threaten me before I so equally rudely cut him off by stretching myself and then jumping off the cart without single sounds

I scratched my back. “Yeah, yeah I get it. I have seen enough hostage related movies and games to know the gist of things. I know what is at stake here and yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea. I'm well versed in the art of threats and being threatened. Mostly on the receiving end of it. On the internet in case you are wondering.” I babbled on before again stretching myself to get some blood pumping into these lazy joints and muscles.

The gang of Gryphons surrounding me were of course confused. Which is certainly no surprise.

“Well… anyway, just shut up and do what you are told and nothing will happen to you, got it?” The same Gryphon boldly stated while pointing a dirty claw at me.

I just nodded.

“Good, now follow us and again, be quiet.” He announced before giving a signal.

His fellow Gryphons gave nods before herding everyone into the keep, me included.

Guards were pretty much stationed or flying around all corners of the keep's walls as far as I can tell. So getting out of here is certainly going to be difficult, but not impossible. I have seen enough Mission Impossible movies to know that the more impossible a mission is, the easier it is to complete or some stupid shit like that.

Or… it could also just be because of the script. Like how certain stupid and nonsensical things in movies only exist because the plot demands it.

But this isn’t a movie, now is it? It is real, as real as a cartoon-colored world with talking animals and voodoo hoodoo can be. Like all sentient beings in this world are all four-leggers with no extra limbs that would allow them to hold tools or whatever.

These creatures in fact somehow succeeded in building civilizations with big cities and everything. So saying that this world makes sense would be somewhat right. Because even in my world, a lot of things don’t make sense either.

But I don’t want to go all philosophical when things are getting dark around me. Like literally. These Gryphons should really install more torches to cast off the darkness in their mold-encrusted halls. Again, quite literally, as I just passed a mushroom or two growing on the walls while being herded deeper into the keep's dungeon. Though it didn’t take long after the first reinforced door for the actual prison cell to appear with a couple of neighbors already occupying some of the cells.

Two of them immediately struck me as interesting as they seem to be fairly young. Those two could possibly be the two missing kids of the two warmongering chiefs back at Akamar and Hittar. Though I need to ask them later just to be sure, especially when it seems that my cell was going to be on the opposite side of theirs. How convenient. Maybe a bit too convenient.

Maybe this adventure of mine is plot-driven as well? Which would at least explain some of the rather random shit that is happening around me for no reason.

It's certainly not crazy to assume that life is just a giant play, with you being one of its main actors.

In that case I am ready for my close up. Well… I was ready for my close up the moment I was born. But let's not dwell on that too much as a major scandal just revealed itself to me.

“Wait… these cells don't even have toilets? Where the hell am I supposed to take a piss?” I stated, outraged at the fact that the most bare-bones necessities of an inmate's cell are not even met here.

Like don’t lie to me. Every modern prison has at least a toilet in it so things don’t start to immediately smell like a pig stall. You certainly don’t want your prisoner to die from their own shit. Now that would be just inefficient. Letting your prisoners, bargain tools, slaves or workers die prematurely before they can receive their first case of Diarrhea when eating too much shitty prison food.

In fact, you certainly should at least provide a toilet to prepare for that. At least then you can collect that shit and pack it up as fertilizer.

Now there is a good business idea I should have thought of years ago. Packing up my own shit and selling it to the farming industries. My shit is full of caffeine, which should wake up those crops fairly quickly.

Either way, the Gryphon sighed before tossing a rather rusty-looking bucket at my feet.

“Here, you can use this, so that you won't have to do your business in one of the corners.” The Gryphon stated before finally locking the cell door in front of me.

I looked down at the bucket and saw that its inside were covered in dried dirt. More likely dried shit to be honest, given the bucket's intended use.

It's certainly a good thing then that old dried-up shit doesn’t smell anymore, but that still doesn’t make this situation less disgusting. In fact, it kinda makes it worse. Knowing that these bird brains have very little interest towards hygiene. Or rather very little hygiene for their prisoners.

This was a disaster, a disaster of epic proportions. I am fully regretting my retarded plan of presenting myself as bait. Because these cells don’t have any proper toilets or even toilet paper.

NO TOILET PAPER! THIS IS HELL, THIS IS LITERAL HELL FOR ME!

I clutched the bars of my cell in front of me before pulling on them, rattling the cell door back and forth as I went crazy.

“NO… FUCK… GET ME OUT OF HERE! I CHANGE MY MIND! I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE! IT WAS ALL HER IDEA! HERS I TELL YOU! THIS PLACE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY TOILET PAPER, AND THE TOILET IS JUST ON OLD SHIT ENCRUSTED RUST BUCKET! HELP! HELP PLEASE HELP!” I screamed, more or less causing a ruckus in an otherwise quiet dungeon.

No toilet paper and no proper toilet at the same time? What has this shitty world gone to?

.............................................................................................................................................

Uxie peeked his head from around a large stone and gazed at the run-down keep off in the distance.

He needed to figure out how to get Alexander and his guards out of there without causing too much damage. Or worse, accidentally hurting him or the others after he so cowardly hid away behind a palm tree when the first arrow was fired.

Or so he thought those were what they were called, according to Alexander's mental mention of them. But whatever, it didn't matter what they were called. What he did know about them though was that these arrows were deadly, at least those with the sharp metal tips on them.

Which is why he needs to think this through before just going in guns blazing as Alexander would state. He still felt somewhat dodgy about his psychic abilities to be really going for that option. He had vague memories on how masterful he used to be with them in the past, but they were just that.

Just blurry memories of something.

Uxie shook his head. For him there was no time for questioning his place in the world and just focus more on the task at hand. He needed to get in there and save them, but how? How to do so without getting bold?

Uxie scratched his large head as his closed eyes scanned the landscape around him. Looking for something that could possibly give him an idea.

Then it hit him. Maybe he can go ask for the help of that little bug-like critter who originally showed him those bananas? Maybe he knows something that he doesn’t. He lives in these uncharted lands after all.

With that idea said and done, Uxie quickly flew back towards the oasis as fast as his psychic powers could carry him, in hopes of finding that little critter again.

Time is of the essence, and he personally doesn’t know how terrible the condition of Alex and his guards must be in. He could have sworn that he just now heard Alex scream, which only fueled his endeavors.

The horrors he must be facing.

Chapter 44: A Locust Swarm saves the day

Edited by: The Great Khan

“No fucking toilet paper? This prison is a shit hole, a literal hole let me tell you. I'm going to give it the worst possible rating on Facebook ever once I get out of here.” I grumbled while sitting on the prison bench and glaring at the cell door.

The nerve of these Gryphons and their toilet paperless ways. I swear, it's as if this world has been reverted back to the Medieval ages where tree leaves were used to wipe over your afterburner after eating some unhealthy shrooms or whatever.

It must have been truly disgusting. Which certainly explains why everybody around here runs around naked for the most part. Specifically in the lower regions where all of the testicles are.

It all makes sense now.

“Here.” Someone shouted as a whole pile of palm leaves were shoved through the cell door's bars, landing right next to the shit-stained bucket and the fungus I previously mentioned.

I frowned. “Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how sharp these palm leaves can be? I can’t use that!” I complained.

All I heard was a huff, before the Gryphon casually walked away, leaving me with the most uncomfortable toilet paper ever conceived by mortals minds, right next to sandpaper.

These truly are dark days it seems. First, a lack of coffee, and now no toilet paper.

“Stop complaining. At least be grateful that those feather-brains are even providing you with those and not chucking you directly into the silver mines like they do with most prisoners.” I heard someone criticize. Which seemed to be coming from behind a wall next to me, which was fairly curious.

This confused me at first, before I realized that the left wall of my cell had an arm-sized hole in it.

I felt curious as I made my way to the peep hole and peeked through, only to be greeted by two Zebra occupants.

One of them was actually chained up against the wall, and looking quite rough and messed-up judging by his ruffled fur and many scars. Especially on his right eye and the eyepatch he wore over it. But besides those, he still looked fairly taught despite his vulnerable position. With his long-ass beard and of course his fairly bulky form.

He certainly looked like someone you don’t want to get into a bar fight with.

I should hire him if we get out of here. Just to give Bakuss a worthy rival.

I am a sucker for some good drama.

“Well hello there to you too, neighbor. I see that you seem to share the same neglect of proper personal hygiene just like the Gryphons do. Don’t let me lecture you on how many ways someone could die from their own poop if it's not properly disposed of. None of them are particularly appetizing to hear or nice to know about.” I greeted, trying to look and sound smart at the same time despite only half of my face being visible from the hole.

The Zebra in question turned his head to me in confusion and was about to retort. That is, until he finally seemed to realize who I was, just through half of my face alone.

“Wait… aren’t you… aren’t you the new Monkey King fella'? The one I heard a couple of guards here talk about?” The young Zebra asked out loud, which also woke up the other guy next to him.

The first thing he did was to smack the younger Zebra on his flank with his back leg, which forced him to fall off his bench, causing a rather loud thud when his body impacted the floor. “Be quiet. The last thing you want is these Gryphons to know is that they managed to capture a king. It would not just endanger him, but all of us at the same time.” The big guy chided.

I was intrigued by that. Not because of his comment, but rather at his voice, which perfectly matched his appearance. Deep, course, and very rough, while also holding an air of wisdom behind it. Warrior wisdom to be precise.

In other words, an individual who would make a fine addition to my collection, if I get him out of here. IF I ever get out here.

Either way, he continued to speak before I could.

“So… what is a so-called 'legend' like you doing in such a dark and mold-encrusted place like this? Wouldn’t a high-status person like you be swarmed with guards twenty-four seven? Or have they truly become this incompetent over the years that they allow themselves to be ambushed by a gang of simple sand raiders? Wouldn’t really surprise me if it's the latter though considering how decadent the Zebra guards have become.” The gruff-looking stallion commented.

“Well… that's simple,” I began while raising a finger, even though they couldn't see it. "I simply allowed myself to be captured." I added, short and sweet, which caused the young stallion to look at me with confusion while his older partner in crime just rose an eyebrow at me.

With his good eyebrow to be precise.

“Well… either you are extremely brave, or suicidal. Neither of which matter right now anyway. These cowardly hybrids chained me to this cell because I almost killed three of their guards when they were trying to haul me down into the mines. But still… what's your story then?” He questioned, giving me a sincere but retained curious look about my story.

Or rather, my reasoning as to why I would allow myself to be captured in the first place.

“Well, it's simple. I allowed myself to be captured in hopes of meeting up with the culprits who have possibly taken both the son and daughter of Chieftain Solum of the Sand Hunters, and Chieftain Tenojek of the Steppe Riders captive. I'm not sure if I'm at the right address here, but I think I just saw a pair of young-looking adults or teens in two separate cells when I was brought down here. Not sure if it's them but… well, I was actually about to ask if either of you know some of these prisoners? At least then my intended capture wouldn’t have been a complete waste if those two are actually here. At least then it means that my plan has worked and that I am a great detective after all. Though I obviously still need to work on my escaping skills after all. Right now I have no idea on how to get out of this place. Like how I somehow managed to get myself lost in the glass maze on one of those Fanfares backs in Germany. Those glass mazes are a madhouse I tell you. Another piece of my sanity lost on that day. I will never forget, you tiny piece of my sanity. I never will.” I responded, before once again going off onto my usual ramblings. Also derailing the actual conversation for good measure.

This ramble of mine simply caused the other dude to just scratch his head in total confusion while the other, more 'mature' looking guy looked a bit more thoughtful instead. Sadly so, as I would have loved seeing him totally confused too with that tough face of his.

But then again, I guess this guy looks a bit too tough to be confused in the first place. But one can dream.

“Well… if you are looking for Tenojek’s daughter, then you are certainly in the right place. My niece is here, along with a boy. Such a shame.” The big guy explained, with a small sigh at the end.

Now it was my turn to be surprised. Crazy, I know.

“Wait… so you're saying that Tenojek is actually your brother? Then how come he never mentioned you when I talked to him?” I questioned.

The old dude closed his eyes. “Well why should he? I neglected my tribe's old traditions by abandoning my birthright as the first-born and leaving everything behind for my own personal goals. I always wanted to see the world, which I did as a mercenary. My exceptional warrior and animal taming skills were the only two traits that would have gotten me anywhere in the big wide world. So again, he has no reason to ever talk about his big brother if he had dishonored both his tribe and his father's wishes. And to be fair, I don't regret my decision one bit, even in my current situation.” He responded.

What an intriguing backstory. But none of that matters when one thing was quickly proven right. That the two chieftains' kids were actually here and that my gamble in the end was not a waste after all.

I was right, and everybody else was wrong. Score one for the randomly-guessing madman.

“YEEES!” I yelled while doing a fist pump. Maybe a bit too loud.

“By the gods… where did this volume come from?” The poor guy stated as he picked himself up again after I scared him with my sudden scream.

Too bad, because I was far too busy doing my jig to listen to his complaints.

I was right and everybody else was wrong. My ego was satisfied, oh so satisfied.

And speaking of egos, one random and seemingly out of place thought suddenly entered my mind as I was wrapping up my dance.

The fact that I have some weird and strange physical abilities that I've somehow neglected all this time.

Abilities that can easily get me out of here without the use of a single brain cell. With the minor risk of alerting the whole keep, of course.

But hey, “Wer nicht wagt der nicht gewinnt” is the old German slogan.

I decided to save the rest of my jig for a later date before approaching the cell door with one simple goal in mind.

But first, I needed someone's attention.

“Guards, guards quick! I used the palm leaves you provided and now I'm bleeding out! Help! HEEEEELP!” I called out, making myself sound as distressed as humanly possible. Which I am really good at I might add.

“For the love of the sky gods, if this is going to be the norm for you then I'll just-” He was about to threaten me before he suddenly got a face full of door along with its hinges; knocking him out as his body was buried beneath the torn-off cell door.

I felt ecstatic, so much so that I had to stop myself and look down at my flip-flop-wearing foot.

I should really make an effort to keep these strange but highly helpful and amusing new abilities in mind for the future. Who knows how easy life can be when abusing the ever-living shit out of them?

“What the… what was that?” I heard one of the inmates question as I stepped out of the cell as if nothing happened, before quickly snatching the cell keys from the now-downed prison guard.

“Ah… here they are.” I commented as I grabbed the keys from his unconscious form before quickly making my way to the closest cell to my right before fiddling with its lock.

Because I got to conserve my AMAZING strength in case this prison break turns ugly.

Either way, the reaction I got from the two Zebras on the other side was quite predictable. Looking up at me with both shock and surprise at the same time.

"Your Highness… you… you are free, and so quickly? But… but how?” One of the two Zebras asked when I tried to undo the chains on him that kept him and his partner bound to the wall behind them.

Well, I guess I managed to stumble upon two of my three guards then. Good, because then I can hand them the keys while I can continue to go Rambo on the other doors. Busting down doors is far more fun.

So much for the idea of conserving my strength.

“Ok, now take these.” I said before handing him the warden’s keys. "Go free everyone else while I do the same with my more… brutal methods.” I stated, before rubbing my hands with a malicious smile plastered on my face.

The guard simply nodded, before dashing off to do his deed, along with his partner.

With those two gone I refocused my attention back on my own self-given task of smashing doors and breaking some floors.

Because these doors look heavy as shit.

One massive kick later and the second door of the day was down, along with the expressions of those behind it.

“By the gods above… what the...?” The smaller stallion stuttered, while mister tough-guy simply raised an eye at my brutal entrance. His good eye to be precise.

“Well… this is certainly something I've never seen across my travels. At least… not by someone of your size.” He commented while I was inspecting the thick chains that kept him bound.

I wonder if I am also strong enough to break apart these chains since I'm kicking down reinforced doors.

Only one way to find out.

“Time to test my limits.” I stated boldly before grabbing the chains and getting ready for the pull of my life.

Quite literally in fact, as this was easily the most effort I ever put into a pull. Even when comparing it to me pulling out the weeds from my front lawn. But that is once again a story for another time as I have a huge ass chain to pull out from the wall.

Or rather I tried to, as these chains proved themselves to be quite stern and sturdy in their resistance.

I think I have just found my limit. Which was to be expected, and also quite disappointing. But hey, I at least managed to heavily bend many of the chain's rings while doing so, so not all is lost.

“Fuck… I guess I do have limits. What a sad day… but then again, overpowered characters are known to be boring anyway. No challenge or conflict with them whatsoever.” I commented in between huffs after finally giving up on my attempt to be the Superman of the day.

Well… it was certainly fun while it lasted.

“Well, I'm not sure what you were hoping to accomplish here, but busting down one of these cell doors is certainly a lot easier then breaking these thick steel chains. Believe me, I would have broken free out of my cell a long time ago if these Gryphons didn’t shackle me up like this. Say what you want about them, but they certainly learn quickly.” The big guy stated.

It was really starting to get tiring just calling him “the big guy." If I'm planning to have him under my wing and be a part of my force, then the least I should know about him is his freaking name.

So while waiting for the guard to return with the keys, I should really take this opportunity to ask his name while things are still peaceful enough to do so.

Because I know for a fact that once we leave, shit is going to figuratively hit the freaking fan once the Gryphons up above get wind of this.

And I don’t like getting covered in all of that shit, thank you very much. These are my original Earth-made clothes I'm wearing. I would go and kill a motherfucker if anything ever happened to them. They are like a relic to me. A relic of a life which I am still living, only with a lot more bling and a lot less gardening.

But anyway, back to the topic.

“Say...” I began to get the guy's attention again. “What might be your name if I may ask? I see no reason not to at least know your name before things get heated pretty fast. I doubt that these raiders are going to let us go peacefully once we show ourselves to them.” I stated.

The gruff-looking stallion hummed to himself before replying. “Well… I really see no reason to deny you that knowledge myself. My name is Hector, plain and simple. No in-between middle names or titles.” He answered, making me press my lips together at that knowledge

This was surprising, but in a good way. Which was shown by the smile which was creeping up on my lips at the reference injection I was given. So this whole shit was truly just like Troy after all. Though with far less war and a lot more horse. Way too much horse.

My thought would have continued on with this idea indefinitely if the guy with the key didn’t just suddenly show up.

Good, because we need him. I need him, for my forces, as my Hector, though personally I would have preferred an Achilles for… actually, on second thought, having either Achilles or Hector doesn’t matter. They both die in the end anyway.

“Here, free this stallion as well will ya'?” I more or less ordered while pointing a finger at the now-named Hector.

The naked guard nodded before acting on my requested of freeing this beast of a midget Zebra. Fiddling with the many locks on the fairly large chains and unlocking them one by one. I even helped in moving the chains out of the way once the last lock had been unlocked.

Hector stood up and began stretching himself to get some blood pumping back into his limbs.

“Now, as you said, we have a keep to escape from. But I suggest heading into the armory first to get ourselves some weapons and gear to give us a much better chance of getting out of here. Also, let's free the rest of the prisoners as well. No point in leaving them here after all. We might as well try and leave together if we can.” Hector suggested.

I hummed. “Well sure, certainly sounds a lot better than the idea I came up with just a few seconds ago. Let's just go with that one, shall we?” I responded.

Hector nodded. “Perfect, I actually know where the armory is. I passed by it when I was first led down into the mines under the keep. I imagine that is where they are also keeping the confiscated gear of your guards. They should have no problem recognizing them. Now let's hurry before the Gryphons get wind of this prison break.” Hector announced before moving out.

“Hey, wait for me!” The other stallion shouted as he followed him.

I did the same, along with my guard before being greeted with just how many prisoners there were. Mostly Zebras of course, with a couple of Gazelles and even a Gryphon or two mixed in.

So racism shouldn’t be an issue here as they also seem to imprison and enslave their own kind if need be. They are certainly not picky, that’s for sure. Though they certainly aren’t fond of horns it seems. With the Gazelles all having lost their horns to these Gryphons. But then again, it was also kinda logical in a way.

You certainly don’t want your slaves to hold onto their naturally-gifted weapons for any reason. They are here to mine, not to bonk heads with the local guards whenever they get the chance to do so.

Better to be safe than sorry, am I right?

“Alright, is that all of them?” Hector asked out loud as he looked at the assembly of four-leggers in front of him.

“Yes, these are all the prisoners down here.” One of my guards answered. I somehow recognize them.

Just how I recognize all of these prisoners staring at me. Because you certainly don’t see a hairless ape everyday.

One set of eyes in particular caught my attention somehow. A pair of eyes that belonged to a very young-looking mare who was standing right next to an equally young-looking stallion.

In fact, that actually reminded me.

“Hey Hector, is that possibly your niece you were talking about earlier?” I suddenly interrupted his little speech while pointing a finger at the aforementioned mare within the crowd.

Hector stopped and followed my gaze before nodding. This in turn caused the mare to blink back to reality before she finally noticed her uncle standing next to me. She immediately pushed herself through the crowd of dirty-looking prisoners and gave Hector a big old hug, which certainly took the gruff old guy by surprise.

“Uncle, dear gods above are you alright? Those Gryphons beat you up really bad I heard after they chained you up! I feared the worst at first when I heard that!” She stated. He voice choking up a bit as if she were on the verge of tears.

Well, maybe she was. But I can’t really see her face that well from my angle to be sure.

But whatever, let them have their little family reunion while I just wait for something to happen. Or just keep reviewing the assembly of prisoners in front of me and see what we have here.

Strangely enough though, the Gazelle I saw from earlier was absent from this group, making me think that she was either locked up somewhere else, or already down in the mines doing her duties.

I really want to see these mines though. Everybody keeps talking about them. I would really love to see some authentic silver veins myself before returning home with a cart full of silver.

Always thinking about more riches, even in the most inappropriate of situations.

I quickly blinked myself back to reality before I got too far. Especially when I had this urge to do something random for no real reason.

“I declare a DEUS EX MACHINA!” I openly declared. Which in turn caused everyone to aim their eyes directly at me, both in confusion and with a “what” type expression.

Because my declaration was so loud that it was almost a guaranteed possibility that someone above heard that. Which it did, as I could hear a lot of commotion suddenly happening beyond the stairs which lead back up to the surface.

In fact, it was a lot of commotion. Judging by the panic-filled screams coming from upstairs. Now this certainly made me curious, even more so for all the others as their collective ears started to twitch at the noise happening above.

“What the… are they… it kinda sounds as if… an attack is taking place up there?” One of the Zebras commented as he gazed at the ceiling above him.

Everyone else was doing the same thing, gazing up at the ceiling with a sense of dread and foreboding.

Though Hector did not, as his attention was fixed on the long set of stairs behind us which led back up to the surface.

“You all wait here while I go have a look.” Hector ordered as he marched his big rough-looking body up the stairs to be the first to reach it zenith.

“Be careful, uncle!” His niece called after him.

I on the other hand was beginning to get bored and wanted to have my own personal glimpse as to what my bold declaration had steered up.

If it is what I think it is, then I'll eat my hat. Which is fine either way as I don’t have a hat to eat in the first place.

“Wait Your Highness!” One of my guards tried to call out, but I was too distracted by my own curiosity to respect the sense of worry and duty he has for me.

Not that I ever did thanks to my mind having its own mind which guides me into directions where I would have never guided myself. Because then I would be too busy sitting on my ass and doing absolutely nothing. That, or just spend my days arguing with my neighbor while tending to the garden that my own cousins are too lazy to do themselves.

But since I don’t have either of the last two, I'm more content now in just doing example number one all day while getting myself undressed by an under-aged flamethrower.

I wonder how she is doing though? I hope that she is still in Hittar. I can’t wait to see my little fire-starter again, AFTER I get a glimpse of what my Deus Ex Machina summoned, and if it's friendly to me or not.

“AHHHHHHHH!” someone screamed as a Gryphon suddenly came bursting through the dungeon door above us and before tumbling down the stairs and right into Hector’s hooves, along with a bunch of other shit that was colorful and buzzing down the stairs right after him.

Like… a lot of it. Colorful and plentiful, in fact so plentiful that me and Hector were forced to duck as the onslaught of colorful locust-sounding things were racing down into the dungeon halls.

Or I think they are colorful locusts. They are far too numerous, loud and fast for me to really get a good look at them. Plus, my gaze was aimed at the stairs beneath them, so that could be the main reason.

“AHHH! Parasprites, take cover!” I heard someone shout behind me as the swarm continue to fly past us.

“Ahh… so those things are called 'Parasprites.' Interesting…” I thought to myself as the madness continued.

Yup, certainly way too many it seems for me to start actively patting their backs one by one. Plus I don’t know if these “Parasprites” even like to be patted on their back in the first place.

For a bug, getting patted on the back might be misconceived as someone trying to swat them away or squash them outright.

Makes sense, but one that doesn’t exactly help me regardless as I was still pinned to the steps as this flood of bugs didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

This was ridiculous, even by Deus Ex Machina standards.

“Does this swarm ever end?” I asked out loud, trying to make myself heard beside the loud buzzing echoing all around me.

As expected, there was no answer, though I would guess that everybody else had their own issues to deal with rather than listening to my rather pointless questions and ramblings.

Though I don’t think that my previous question was pointless to begin with. But who cares, especially when it seems that the onrush of bugs was finally starting to thin out, degrading from a massive torrent of colorful flies to a simple trickle at the end.

Even my own thoughts started to become louder when the obnoxious buzzing finally died down. I looked behind myself afterwards, only to see the swarm quickly disappearing somewhere deeper down into the dungeon or perhaps out to another exit.

I dusted myself off as I stood up, and watched as the assembly of prisoners did the same, some even peeking their heads out from behind places they had taken shelter in. Like peeking their heads out from behind open cell doors and old crates.

It looked to me that the worst had finally passed on and that the dungeon from this point on was going to stay quiet. Well, as quiet as a place can be that still seems to be swarmed up on the surface and an angry-sounding Hector breaking the neck of an unfortunate Gryphon.

Wait… did he seriously just do that? I had to turn my head to him to confirm my senses, and truth be told, he did. What a killer.

“This was the bastard that tried to take advantage of my niece before his colleagues stopped him.” He stated as he released the now-limp body onto the ground. Watching it slide down the stairs a bit before stopping at the center mark between me and him.

I pressed my lips together in sheer silence as I looked down at the now-dead Gryphon in front of me. I never was a big fan of watching someone get killed right in front of my very eyes… in fact, this was the very first time that this has happened.

Certainly is something different than watching it on TV or anywhere else. But then again, I didn’t really see it, more like heard it before seeing him dead.

I smacked my lips. “Well… anyway, let's see how well that locust swarm is ravaging the rest of the keep, shall we? If I ever find an easy way out of an otherwise complicated situation then I at least want to see it.” I stated loudly before side-stepping around the body and making my way to the now-busted door.

As expected, things were a lot worse up there than they were down below. This may be just in the hallway, but even here shit was just as chaotic as it sounded down below. Uncountable swarms of these colorful skittles with wings were flying everywhere, with Gryphons running, flying or even trying to hide from these flies. Some were even trying to actively swat at them with their swords or spears with very little success, while some were even picked up by these surprisingly-strong critters and tossed around like ragdolls on steroids.

To say that this was chaos would have been an understatement. Heck, these Para-thingies were nagging on pretty much anything that wasn't made of stone. Seemingly having an unending appetite and a stomach made of hardened titanium.

Though thankfully these flying pinballs don’t seem to be devouring those Gryphons, otherwise things would truly become concerning.

I certainly don’t want to end up as bug food today, or rather any day for that matter. If I ever have to go out, then I will go out in style. Not end up as simple bug food. But whatever, these Parasprites seemed to be totally ignoring me even after I fully stepped out from the archway and properly revealed myself to this colorful mass.

Good, because I want to see this chaos first hand, it all looks so wonderfully delightful. It's like being in one of my crazy coffee trips, only with a lot more noise and things getting eaten left and right.

But at least the composition of colors were right.

“Your Highness, what are you doing standing like that in the open? It's too dangerous! Please, come-” My loyal and always concerned guard tried to warn before he realized that I wasn’t really listening.

In fact, I was too busy skipping my way to the exit of the colorful mess. Following the light at the end of the tunnel with these flying skittles parting ways as I casually moved past them.

Chaotic, hungry and well-behaved. Now that is certainly my kind of a locust swarm. I wonder if I can make use of them when I start my conquests. Threats of using them to turn the fertile farmlands of my rivals barren would certainly make “convincing” them to join the empire even easier. Not to mention avoiding having to spill any unnecessary blood in the process.

Those funerals are just too dramatic for my taste. Plus, I'm still quite uneducated when it comes to the Zebra’s belief system and Pantheon. All I know of right now are two of their unknown numbers of gods, and that is it.

But whatever, once I get myself some much-needed sunlight and clear myself from these seizure-inducing swirls then all shall be well. Just need to avoid any of the screaming, running and thrashing Gryphons around me and I should be at the exit.

Because even this was starting to give me a headache.

“Your Highness!” I heard someone scream behind me before my vision was suddenly changed from colorful to simply yellow as I was forced to mimic the Pope at an airport against my will, followed by a huge gust of air rushing past my head and the sound of a thousand Parasprites zipping past me.

I guess that these flying M&M’s aren’t that tame after all if they require the intervention of one of my guards risking their own skin in order to knock me onto the ground to protect me from their onrushing swarm.

I guess my plans of weaponizing these critters has to be put on hold for now. Especially since I'm too busy giving this sand-covered floor a good fat French kiss. That guard is both going to get rewarded and scolded at the same time when I remember to do so.

I shall call it, a reward scolding, where I give him a pat on his back before kicking his ass. Toothpaste is strangely enough also a rarity here, so imagine how displeasing it is to my sense of cleanliness when I was forced to kiss a well-trudged floor with my whole face.

Well, at least my cursed mumbling was being drowned out by the wave of ear-rupturing buzzing as I wanted to save my curse words later when it was time to lecture this hero on top of me about the unethical situation that is being on top of me.

I am not a happy camper anymore. But at least this constant need to overthink things has given me the distraction I needed for this wave to finally pass by and for me to get the chance to get up on my feet again. But not without pushing the midget horse off my back and spitting out the sand in between my lips and teeth.

I am not even going to bother quoting Anakin on that one. Fucking sand.

“Seriously, can you not save me with a little bit more grace? Having sand in your mouth is the worst, only topped by having bubblegum sticking to your shoes. Believe me when I say that this has happened way too much before. Which is why I started to simply wear Flip Flops from that point on, as they are way cheaper to replace.” I casually stated while dusting myself off, spitting out the rest of the sand in my mouth.

The “Hausmeister” of this place seriously must be slacking off if the floors are this sandy.

Though none of that really mattered anymore once I had the decency to lift my gaze once more and see what the outside world had to offer.

It was certainly a lot trippier than it was inside that hallway I was in. Heck, I didn’t even know that so many skittles on wings could even exist in one place. This keep is certainly going through a huge plague of Biblical proportions.

I wonder if this world even has its own version of Moses that these Gryphons somehow must have pissed off. Because this looks both insane and colorful at the same time, and I kinda love it.

Again, going back to my experience I had just a moment ago. Swirling colors give me both a one ticket trip and a huge headache if I stare at them for too long.

Which is exactly what I'm doing right now. But then again, it's also so hard to look away from all the chaos and colors around me.

Ooh, I had no idea that chaos could be this colorful… and loud. I wonder who did this, along with the damn annoying buzzing sounds that are really starting to get on my nerves as well. The one thing that is ruining this rather intriguing sight, as it simply reminds me of those damn flies and mosquitoes back home.

Always flying in front of my face or past my ears. Another aspect of my earlier life which has driven me mad even further. Now, I just want it to stop, or at least hear something else for a change to get my mind off of it.

*Chime

And that little sound pretty much did it, as I turned my head to that rather loud chime, only to suddenly come face-to-face with a certain Pokémon that I had almost forgotten about.

“Oh, Uxie, did you do this?” I questioned while gesturing at the chaos happening all around me.

Uxie on his part just smiled before giving me a hug and nuzzling my right cheek with his.

This was certainly surprising, but in a sweet way. A lot sweeter in fact than I thought this little guy was capable off. Being the so-called 'Pokémon of Knowledge' would normally turn up images of either a nerd talking about his D&D night, or a genius with very little emotions at all because he thinks that he is 'too smart' to have emotions.

But this, this was certainly a lot better than I originally expected from a flying egghead like him. I don’t even know how to play D&D as I found that stuff too much of a hassle thanks to all the costumes you need to buy.

That is at least what I understood from both the Simpsons and South Park depictions of it. I prefer to stick to simple video games; they are a lot easier to understand.

Though, thinking about video games, it was only then that I realized that somebody else was hovering right next to Uxie. It was in fact one of those flying skittles things. Completely yellow in body with lime green eyes and sky blue wings. Not to mention being right here, staring at me curiously and NOT joining his millions of comrades in their mad, chaotic spree.

The fact that it even flew closer to me and curiously inspected me from all sides was intriguing enough. This little yellow fly thing seems to be a lot wiser than the rest of his multicolored team. Or at the very least, at lot more in control of himself than them.

“Say, is that little thing a new friend of yours, Uxie?” I asked, completely forgetting about everything else that was still happening around me and the guard who was staring up at the yellow bubblegum ball over here with a sense of intrigue and confusion.

Not really taking the chaos that is still happening around us too seriously anymore, just like me.

Not even taking note of the fact that one of the keep's few remaining watch towers suddenly collapsed under the combined weight of these flying rainbows.

Trip-inducing and destructive. Who needs drugs and catapults when you have a swarm of hungry, happy-go-lucky M&M's doing all the crushing and tossing for you?

Damn, now I wish that I actually had a large pack of M&M’s with me to enjoy the rest of the ongoing chaos around me with. But generally, I could use something to eat regardless, as these skittles were making me quite hungry with their furious spree of eating everything that wasn't made of stone or flesh.

Talk about a locust plague being out of control. These flying bubblegum balls make the massive locust swarms back in my world look tame.

I still wonder if I could somehow weaponize them with Uxie’s new friend acting as a bridge to that.

Human ingenuity folks. If you can’t eat it, or fuck it, maybe you can weaponize it in some way.

Human nature is truly fascinating, isn’t it?

Author's Note

I again just want to note that I have started a pure Pokemon fic on "Archive of our own"

Link can be find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528397/chapters/43914391

Its a mystery dungeon-esc type fic.

Chapter 45: Well welcome to the Family George

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: Who are you calling a Monkey King

Chapter 3: Who Are You Calling a Monkey King

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade, PonyDragon

“We must have done something wrong.” A High Shaman announced to all the others present.

“Inconceivable! The stars were right last night. Only once every 1000 years the planets and stars are aligned in such a perfect way that would allow this Ritual to even work. Failure should have been impossible,” another butted in, a mare if her tone and smaller muzzle where any indication.

“You do know that the Ritual itself doesn’t really do much besides giving the magic the stars provides a gather -and arrival- point, right? We just might have made some slight miscalculations and created the gathering point out somewhere in the desert instead of right here in the council chamber as we had planned,” another High Shaman pointed out, which in turn caused the entire room to burst into murmurs.

Some of them agreed and some of them felt worried instead. The entire council room became momentarily divided.

“I agree with High Shaman Narzukar over there. The magic was going to happen one way or another. So failure rates were pretty minimal to begin with,” High Shaman Akunezzar called out as he and another stallion entered the council chamber. The entire hall immediately went quiet as all attention was fixed on the two new arrivals.

“How can you be so sure, Akunezzar?” an elderly mare questioned, which was agreed upon those around her.

“Simple,” Akunezzar replied as he and his equal stopped and stood right in front the assembled council. “High Shaman Gilganash of the Sand Hunter Tribe over here has managed to sense the location where the magic coming from the cosmos has touched down,” he explained, which instantly earned everyone’s attention.

“Also, yes. That also means that our calculations for the ritual were off as well. Like… really off,” Akunezzar quickly added with a frown. Only a single cough was heard from deep within the group.

Committing such huge mistakes as a High Shaman, especially as a group, was more than just embarrassing. They should be the total experts of both magical and even natural phenomena and forces, after all.

“Anyway,” Akunezzar began, as he gestured towards Gilganash to his right. ”High Shaman Gilganash, can you please tell the assembly what you sensed and tell them what you saw?” he politely requested, to which Gilganash nodded.

He stepped up right at the center of the council chamber before clearing his throat. “A shooting star is what I saw in my vision, its path clear to the East of here. I saw a light erecting from that direction, a clear feel and sign that something has gathered there. We must gather forth, East from where we now stand. There we will find the missing hand,” Gilganash explained in his trademark speech that still held true to the ways the Shamans of old used to converse with one another.

The entire assembly began to murmur once again as Gilganash’s words registered in all of them. One of them was about to speak up when, suddenly, a knock on the still-open double doors caused everybody within the room to switch their attention to it.

A lone palace guard stood there within the door frame, bowing respectfully to the assembled hierarchy. “Respective members of the Zebra High Council, I have come with an urgent message,” the guard announced into the hall with his head still bowed.

Akunezzar raised an eyebrow as he stepped up towards the lone guard. “What news would that be?” He casually asked.

“A guard out stationed at the east gate of the city has spotted something that matches the description you had given us about the ancient Monkey King.” The guard informed stoically while raising his head.

This news caused a lot of wide eyes within the assembly, including Akunezzar, a rare feat given his usual stoic ways.

“Quickly! If the reports of that guard are true, then we must tell him to escort him here!” He quickly ordered after his shock wore off.

“Long done, High Shaman. The guard is escorting him and his companions over to the Council room as we speak.” The guard replied, which again caused Aku to rub his chin.

“The Monkey King has already companions?” He asked, which was answered with a nod.

“Two Zebras, one male, one female. Two market thieves, if the reports are correct.” The guard answered.

“Ah yes, I see. How clever this one must be. Just arrived, nearly in our hands and already making companions throughout the lands. Even thieves seem not immune to his wise ways. Surely the King, on this day of days!” Gilganash exclaimed as he retook his spot beside Aku.

Akunezzar nodded. “Indeed. We all know what to do then. We must prepare for the arrival of Zebrica’s - possible - new King. Quickly, guard. Gather your fellow guardstallions and -mares to properly receive his new highness in front of the palace gates. We must make first a good and strong impression to him if we want to show him that we are worthy of his rule, just like his ancestors before him.” Akunezzar ordered which was meant with a salute and bow before the guard went off to carry out his orders.

The room itself also quickly went into motion as all the other members of the high council prepared themselves for the arrival of a species that they had only heard from written works and tales of their ancestors.

“This is it. This is what all of Zebra-kind has been waiting for since our great demise in the past. A chance to finally rise up again with the help of a new human ruler, the new Monkey King, as from days long past.” Akunezzar thought to himself.

……………………………………………………………………………………….......................................................................................................................................................

“Oooh, look what’s over there! And over here! Look at all these fluffy little Zebras running around!” I cried out loud over and over again while I moved with my escort - and the two chuckle-fucks behind me - through the crowded city streets of, well… the bloody city.

Seeing and witnessing all of this ancient Mesopotamian architecture and even the Zebras around me was truly awakening the child in me. For the huge history buff that I am.

And speaking of kids, the moment I stepped into the very first markets of the city was the moment when I had started seeing a lot of these tiny little Zebra kids zipping about. And let me tell you, they were adorable as FUCK.

You think those little kids on Earth are cute? Well, these tiny - and over energized - quadrupeds where diabetes to my poor bastard of a heart. I could practically feel the sugar levels rising in my bloodstream just by watching them play without a care in the world with those big wondrous smiles on their tiny muzzles.

It was taking all of my willpower to not just run after them, catch them, pick them up -like how I would my cat-, pet them and try to keep them as my own while giving them all the name George. Yes, that included the girls as well, for some insane reason.

“Hmm... how about Georgette for them?”

My crazy antics and behavior had the unfortunate side effect of attracting all sorts of onlookers on our odd little caravan as we passed by. And by unfortunate I mean my poor companions, as they did clearly seem to be a bit embarrassed at how supposedly un-kinglike a creature of my size was behaving in open public. Minus the guard who was leading us. Either he was very good at hiding it through his helmet, or he just couldn’t bother to give one quarter of a damn.

“I am mostly positive that it is the later, just for the fun of teasing me.”

I even went as far as whipping out my tablet from the confines of my sweaty armpits to snap some photos with it, much to the confusion of the Zebras - and whatever else had four legs - around us. I even almost gave a local elderly mare a heart attack with it, after I literally shoved the camera on my Tab directly to her face to take a pic of the perfectly well-kept golden tooth in her mouth.

That was the shiniest golden tooth I ever saw. Of course I had to immortalize it, knowing that she wouldn’t live forever anyway.

A guy’s gotta love his bling-bling. Or in this case, someone else’s.

And some people criticize me for being completely strange out of the blue? The nerve of some people.

All of my vigorous picture taking was swiftly interrupted when something small and furry bumped into my left leg while I was busy immortalizing two kissing Zebra guards in an hidden alley who clearly didn’t want anyone to see them.

Nope. Not going to use it to blackmail them in the future. I am not that kind of a person.

I blinked, turning my gaze downward to see who or what it was. It was none other than a small Zebra foal that must have accidentally bumped into me while playing.

I smiled as the little girl (guessing from the eyelashes) was too busy rubbing her tiny head with her tiny hooves to even notice me.

“Greetings there young native, what brings you to headbutt my leg in the most unsuspecting way possible?” I say in a gentle and firm tone - to not scare her - while also trying to make myself sound as if I was an alien visiting other aliens on an alien world.

“I might very well be an alien on an alien world, now that I think about it.”

The little filly below me immediately froze when she heard my voice, before she slowly cranked her head along my leg, towards my torso and all the way up to where my personality is with her eyes going wide. First in shock, but then in wondrous curiosity, just like how kids are.

“Wow… you’re HUGE.” Was her first response, which just made me smile even wider.

“That’s what all the ladies say.” I reply with a stupid grin while making a proud pose. Yeah I know that she’s just a little girl but the inappropriate joke was too good to pass up, so I had to do it.

Plus she was too young to get it anyway, so no harm was done.

To my pleasant surprise, the little missy below me started to giggle at my silly antics.

“You’re silly, mister.” She said with a smile, which I gladly returned.

“Pfft. You don’t even know the half of it.” I said as I bent down to pick the little filly up from the filthy, FILTHY ground her rump was sitting on.

To my surprise again, all she did was giggle at me even more when I slowly picked her up from the ground, even going as far as making a ‘wheeeeee!’ sound when she realized just how high up she was.

“Your highness, please. We need to get going, to get you to the high council as quickly as possible. The assembly of High Shamans from all over Zebrica is all anxiously waiting for you as we speak. We have to get going.” My guard and escort, whose name I had recently learned is Bakuss, urged me as he stepped up.

“I still don’t see what the rush really is, here. Can’t I get myself better acquainted with the locals first, before taking my supposed ‘rank’ of ‘Monkey King’? I am sure taking such an approach first would be most beneficial for the kids than an assembly of 50 year olds.” I argued back which in turn made the guard in question look up it me with a tilted head at my weird way of wording it.

He was about to retort when a new speaker suddenly entered our ears from all the ruckus around us. Quite the feat, given the chattering and clopping of Zebras all around us. In fact, I suddenly could hear and see better like never before, now that I thought about it. I am normally wearing glasses to see, but for some reason my vision has been crystal clear ever since I got teleported here by unknown methods.

How didn’t I notice this before? I blame N&N for that. Their fuckery from earlier had clouded my already enough chaotic mind with even more distractions.

“Damn you two. Also, where are they?”

“Tillac? Tillac, where are you? Tillac!” A female voice shouted about within the audio clutter of the crowd around us.

I managed to pinpoint the direction the callings came from and swiftly found a - surprisingly fancy - white dressed Zebra mare with a swept-back light blue mane. She was surrounded by little Zebra kids of all stripes and sizes as she frantically searched around for the one that was making herself comfortable on my arm.

The little filly’s ears perked up when she noticed the mare’s calls herself before laying her gaze on her and pointing her hoof at her.

“This is Lady Susara, our caretaker.” The filly exclaimed while looking up at me.

“Lady Susara! Over here!” She called out while waving her tiny hooves.

The mare known as Lady Susara noticed that, as she looked over in our direction. She slowly snaked her way through the crowd directly towards us with her tiny herd following close by.

She eventually stopped right in front of us with a friendly smile on her face, even more curious was the fact that Bakuss next to me bowed respectfully to her, which immediately gave me the impression that whoever this mare was in front of me must be pretty high up in the food chain.

Bakuss did not disappoint. “High Priestess Susara, I see that you are taking your foals through their daily walk and play schedule from the orphanage. How has been your day been faring so far, High Priestess?” Bakuss greeted respectfully before slowly rising again.

The now named Susara smiled over at the guard next to me. “It was quite nice and productive as usual, guard. Both at the Temple and at the orphanage, foals can be quite a hoof ful but it’s always so worth it just to see them smile and so full of energy.” She answered before her gaze eventually landed back on me, or more precise up on me.

Even these Zebra adults only can reach me at mid torso on all four legs. This is also going to take some time in getting used to, having to constantly look down to talk to someone. But hey, at least now I can say that I am the BIGGEST in the group.

“And you must be our new future king, if my memory serves me correctly. It is such an honor to personally meet you and your kind in person, your highness.” Susara announced which a bow, which made me pucker out my lips a bit.

“This is also going to take some getting used to. All these girls bending over backwards for me.” I thought to myself as she rose back up to look at the filly that I was still holding onto my arm.

“I’d also like to personally apologize if Tillac over here was any disturbance to you, your grace.” She said, glaring at the foal briefly. “She is just a foal after all.” She quickly added with an apologetic tone.

I waved my mug-holding arm at her dismissively. “Nonsense. She was nothing but a little sweetie the entire time. I actually enjoy kids to some extent. Their careless smiles and energetic laughs are quite... intoxicating.” I responded which made her smile even wider while tilting her head curiously at me.

“Intoxicating. What an interesting way to phrase that.” She said with a giggle.

“So she is a High Priestess, then. A priestess of what would be the question. Makes you then wonder what kind of pantheon they believe in here, or if it’s all ancestral based? We’ll have to wait and see, I guess. Just like with everything else here so far.” I thought to myself as I gently placed the little filly back down with the others.

She was immediately flooded by the rest of her furry herd and assaulted with questions about me as if she would know them.

“I would guess that these kids are in range of 5 to 6, by the looks of it.” I pondered before Bakuss had to ruin my Zen once again with his ‘Hurry, hurry! We are late!’ attitude.

I know the guy was just doing his job, but at this point his whole ‘getting to the council’ thing was starting to get annoying. He was somewhat like a North Korean tourist guide in that regard. All planned, no fun.

“Oh, so you two are heading to the council, then? I am so sorry for having withheld you from that task. But, may I request that I could join you and your guides up to the old king’s palace on the upper levels? I wanted to educate these foals on some of our ancient history anyway, and show them around the old Palace complex built by our last king.” Susara asked politely with her rather sweet-sounding voice and behavior.

I simply grinned. “Sure. More black and white is quite welcoming. The larger the caravan the better.” I announced, with a dramatic pose at the end which again made the mare in front of me giggle and the guard… rolled his eyes?

“How dare he? This isn’t even remotely close to justifying an eye roll. What a noob. I shall educate him in the proper situations of eye rolling later, but for now I got a bunch of old people.”

“Speaking of people, where are N&N anyway?”

“Wait a sec. Where are Nami and Najero, anyway?” I asked out loud while looking around myself, having sworn that they used to be just behind me a moment ago when I was taking pictures.

Did those two see these two guards from earlier too and get horny from that again? Did they sneak off for some more R&R when I wasn’t looking? Good, because I had seen enough of that shit already and wished to stay away from it for a good while longer…or even forever. I am not into that kind of fetish anyway.

“They are here, Sire. We caught them trying to sneak away.” Two random guards suddenly came up from behind a group of citizens with the two siblings in tow.

“Ahh, so I was right, just couldn’t hold onto your urges for the rest of the day, now can’t you? And here I thought that you two had already learned your lesson. I am very disappointed.” I said, trying to mimic a very disappointed tone.

Najero gave me a lower tier glare for this, while Nami just blushed, looking off to the side. “We were not... We were just trying to get away from the guard when he wasn’t looking. As you can guess... It didn’t go so well.” Najero explained, as he and her sister got herded back to our little caravan of different classes and sizes.

I smiled. “Brilliant, which means everything is, once again, in order now. Come then, we have a Palace to crash into.” I said with much enthusiasm. That even surprised me, as I held my tablet at the ready for more immortalization (and heart attacks on my part) of the locals.

All the present guards simply nodded as they all followed me further into the maze-like streets of the city, followed by Susara and her herd of every adult’s worst headaches.

“Wait…you said something about a lessons. What lessons was THAT supposed to be?” Najero asked in a cautious whisper, despite the fact that two guards were hounding his ass.

I simply kept my gaze in front while replying in a hushed tone.. ”That you two should just get yourselves a room instead of doing it out in the open when some random crackhead can just stumble upon you two.” I said, before I grinned. “Oh wait no, you can’t. You two don’t have a room.” I quickly added, which gave me a groan in response by the guy and silence from the other.

Yes I know that joke was SUPER uncalled for, given the current situation of the two. But if I was truly going to be King of these striped equines, then the first thing I would do, I decided, was to get them out of poverty by giving them a place to stay and actually call home.

Without them I would have most likely never found my way to civilization anyway, despite being it relatively close to where I started. But I didn’t knew that and I was genuinely considering going north at the time, which meant that I would have missed this city entirely, and most likely died in the desert somewhere.

I am an ass but I am not an ungrateful one.

The rest of the trip up into the citadel of the city was pretty ‘meh’ in comparison to the first few starts I got so far. For some reason, word has quickly spread throughout the citizens that a strange, hairless monkey on two legs was trying to shove a strange flat device into every Zebra’s - or non Zebra’s - face, which meant the moment I pointed my tab at them they dove for cover as if it was a weapon or something.

One pussy of a stallion even hid behind his daughter while she simply smiled and waved at me. A true disgrace to all beings with testosterone on this planet or the whole universe at large.

Shame on you, unnamed stallion I will most likely never see again.

I do have to say that the view on the upper levels was quite interesting. Not only did the architecture and level of detail improve, such as more vivid colors and overall more artistic depictions of animals, landscapes and whatnot, but from here the entire east portion of the city was clearly visible, for all the houses and maze-like streets, that is. The large river bordering the city from the east wall was obviously also clearly visible from here as well with the green fertile fields just across it and - of course - the sandy wastes beyond it as well.

The entire trip up to the ancient Persian-style palace was surprisingly quiet. Except for the kids, who made a lot of ruckus and ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’, as kids usually do. N&N were mostly quiet as well, because of the two guards keeping an eye on them, which forced me to stay silent as well because I had nothing to talk or tease about.

We reached and passed through a large plaza and past a large gate, until we finally found ourselves at the luscious gardens that surrounded the palace compound itself.

I already knew from when I observed it from down on the streets of the city that the citadel-like position the palace compound had been placed atop a large and wide cliff overlooking the entirety of the city. I knew that it must have been big, but not as big or grandiose as THIS!

“Those columns are HUGE even for someone my size. Who knows how big this place must feel for these Zebras.” I wondered to myself as we passed through the main entry hall and out into the first courtyard of this Palace compound.

The courtyard itself was, once again, dominated by a beautiful collection of flora and fauna, even water fountains… and… oh, you know what? Just see it for yourself.

Yes. that is what I saw and I have to say, it’s absolutely magnificent.

Najero and Nami were just as awestruck. In fact, even more awestruck than me, since I would imagine that the Palace itself beforehand must have completely inaccessible for them their entire lives. Seeing so much beauty and luxury in one giant place must have been a whole other world for them.

My own awe was, of course, short lived as I just went back to taking pictures like the annoying dumbass tourist, that I am, to the overwhelming enjoyment of the little fellas, as they found my zipping and poking around from place to place to be quite amusing. I even took a selfie with one of the very colorfully dressed palace guards who found my sudden closeness to him really, REALLY awkward, which was totally planned.

I am not positive if all this talk of ME being their long lost king was true or not, but if in case it turns out nothing but a fluke then I at least have some nice, clear photos to take with me of what the interior of a Persian style Palace actually looks like.

Those historians and archeologists’ back home would pay a fortune for these, if not in fact directly murdering one another for it.

If I could somehow get back home, that is.

“Ugh. Your highness, could we please keep going? The council chambers are just around the corner here and the collection of High Shamans and priests are already anxiously waiting for you as we speak.” One of my guards pleaded while I was busy examining and poking the armor of a Palace guard up close by looking past its robes. The poor guard obviously felt quite uncomfortable with the close-up attention I was giving him. Very visible sweat was running down his helmeted head and down his snout.

Again, the little ones obviously found this absolutely hilarious, and even Susara was smiling under her hoof behind me. I think I might like her already.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Formalities and all that. Sure let's go and see what the assembled councilors really want from me, then.” I replied with a dismissive wave as I left the palace guard alone, to his relief.

But one thing still struck me.

“Wait… I thought that only the so called High Shamans were waiting for me, and now a group of High Priests as well? When did they come into the mix?” I asked, with one of my escorts stepping up.

Did I ever mentioned that their completely covered heads and faces made it infuriatingly hard to distinguish who from who? Or if the Persian underneath all that steel and bronze was either a massive dick or a pussy? Well I didn’t, I guess. Completely out of random impulse.

“They were Informed and gathered here to attend the meeting to the arrival of the new Monkey King of Zebrica while we were busy making our way up. One of the Palace guards at the front gate has told me.” Bakuss explained, I could tell that it was him because I could recognize his whiny voice with the tone of “Let’s go, let’s go now!” anywhere by that point.

“Huh… so besides Voodoo people I am going to be meeting with the religious collection of harems as well? Seems legit.” I thought to myself.

“That is interesting. you Zebras must be pretty quick to organize, then?” I wondered out loud.

The guard shook his head, to my slight surprise. “No, with the utmost respect sire, but the thing is that they all had plenty of time to organize and make their way over to the Palace in the first place. It’s just that your grace has taken so much time… ’exploring’ the city - in your own unique way - that we are practically late for the meeting now.” He explained, which in turn just made me scoff a bit, because I felt it to be appropriate.

“Well, it is true that I have a thing for ‘procrastinating’ a lot when something important has to be done.” I explained while looking as if I was deep in thought while stroking my chin for effect.

The guard was about to say more to this when Susara suddenly stepped in.

“Well, it was pretty interesting, to say the least, your highness. I do hope by the gods and ancestors that your evaluation with the high council goes well. I would technically have to attend as well, being a High Priestess myself, but I have foals to look after and show around. So again, I bid you goodbye. May we meet again soon.” Susara explained as she and her gathering of munchkins filed themselves into a different hallway of the palace.

I simply watched her and her little herd leave for a while before I was once again hurried to following them back to the room that contained the ones who, more or less, hold my entire future in these lands in their black colored hooves.

Hooves I will most likely have to please, if they eventually dubbed me as their new Primate Overlord of the Deserts, in which case things would be both fun and probably very stressful pretty soon.

And I hate stress.

It was then when I noticed that both N&N were - once again - not present anymore, which caused me to pause, to the visible frustration of mister hurry.

“Where did diddle dum and diddle dee go to this time?” I asked out loud.

“They were momentarily taken to the Palace barracks for questioning and such. Do not worry. No harm will come to them as long as they behave.” Bakuss explained, before he went back to leading the way, which forced me to follow.

The key word is ‘forced’ because I had no clue where to go and had absolutely no plans on getting myself lost here on my first day. These maze-like hallways all looked the same for me and the rows and same-ish looking red and blue columns and banners didn’t help either. In fact, most of the palace interior was held up by rows and rows of oversized columns, but that was honestly to be expected, given what type of architecture and culture this whole complex was mimicking.

Those ancient civilizations LOVED their columns. These ones just happened to be red, sometimes with golden highlights but all ending in two depictions of blue bulls on top holding the ceiling.

We passed a couple more guards and even came across a few palace servants (I think that’s what these well dressed mares running around are for) before finally reaching a set of double doors. Two guards stationed in front of it wasted no time in opening them, which eventually revealed… yet another well decorated and very spacious courtyard behind it.

Me and Bakuss stepped through it to the outside, which made me frown. “Well, we just stepped into another courtyard/palace garden similar to the first. I thought you were leading me to the galactic senate?” I questioned, which made Bakuss look at me funny for a moment, thanks to that last statement I made.

He quickly recovered, though, before pointing a hoof at the other end, which had another beautifully decorated structure with a golden dome on top of it on the other side.

“This is the council building on the other end. That’s where every representative of every Zebra tribe in all of Zebrica is waiting for you, sire.” Bakuss explained as we continued to move once more.

I looked around myself as I followed him. “For a council building it’s actually located pretty deep within the Palace itself. How is the average citizen going to get here is they first have to go through the ‘Forest of columns’?” I asked.

“Well, that is very simply sire, it’s because we through the front main gates that lead directly into the Palace complex instead of the Gates that lead onto to the Council chamber at the back.” Bakuss explained, which immediately made me frown more deeply when a thought crossed my mind.

“So you’re basically saying… we just took the long way, then?” I asked as we quickly reached the so-called council chamber.

“Basically, yes.” Bakuss casually answered which made me grumble silently to myself.

We eventually reached another set of huge double doors, which were guarded by even more palace guards. Go figure.

The two guards didn’t hesitate for a second as they immediately went over to open the double doors as we approached. It was then when a really stupid but ultimately fun idea entered my bronze cranium. I smiled at this as I quickly handed over both my tab and my trusty mug at Bakuss.

“Here, can you hold these for me for a second, im going to blow these old guys hair off with an entrance they will never forget.” I exclaimed as I practically shoved my items directly onto the completely confused Bakuss’s hooves before quickly whipping out my phone from my pocket.

“What… what are you going to…?” He dried to ask as he was struggling to keep my stuff from falling off his hooves.

I mostly ignored him as my thumb quickly glides through the touchscreen of my phone, trying to find the exact song that would be most appropriate for this idea.

“When they see THIS they will wanna make me their new king for sure. Nobody can resist such sweet moves, even a bunch of Voodoo hoodoo and pop wannabes.” I exclaimed as I finally found the song I was looking for and quickly got into position.

The doors quickly opened, which revealed a full room of Zebra’s.

“Why didn’t I think to this sooner?” I thought to myself as ‘I got the power’ song by Snap started playing.

………………………………………………………………………………………

“No, no. The Steppe Riders tribe will not trade away the Northern Savannas for the Karack Plateaus, no matter how much silver might be there in these desolate lands.” High Shaman Ukahp Khan argued back at another High Shaman by the name of Sharzat seated across from him.

The old stallion in question frowned with a huff as he fixed Ukahp with a level headed glare. “Your foolishness in bargaining with us is quite astonishing. Only fools such as you lazy Savanna hoarders can be that dense. You know very well that your tribe isn’t even using the northern regions of the grassy steppes for anything. Why not just give it to us, the Tashika Tribe? We have great need for these fertile lands to cultivate, and in exchange you have the Plateaus to the west filled with silver, which we have no use for.” The old High Shaman argued back, his tone clearly filled with annoyance.

Ukahp Khan glared back at him for his words. “For starters, those lands have been with us and our deep ancestors for many millennia. We will NEVER trade them for ANYTHING, especially not to such greedy Zebras from the Tashika Tribe. And furthermore…” He began before leaning over the table dangerously towards Sharzat. ”What did you call our tribe back there?” He queried with gritted teeth.

“I can say the same to you.” Sharzat hissed back, as his and Ukahp Kahn’s muzzles were almost touching each other.

“By the gods, would you two QUIT IT?! We are here to await the arrival of the one who will solve such issues, not to start another-” Akunezzar tried to argue, before his speech was stopped when the large doors leading into the council chamber were slowly being pushed open. Not only that, but a strange tune was coming directly from the slowly opening doors which literally caught the attention of every mare and stallion in the room.

“What in the God's name is that Music?” one High Priestess asked as it was getting louder.

“I have… no clue. Is there maybe a band playing nearby?” A High Shaman mare asked with her Zebra ears at full attention.

Everybody in the room was confused and momentarily lost. Even Aku, as he was forced to recover quickly as he spotted a bipedal figure slowly emerging from the intense light of the outside world.

“I think that must be him… the Monkey King himself. Everyone, quick this is the-” Aku tried to say but was stopped when he saw the so-called Monkey King strolling into the room as if he came back from a victorious campaign with his arms wide, his head held high with a huge smile and a straight tall and proud walk. The music seeming to come directly from him.

“Behold, behold, the King of Monkeys has come and has heard your pleas for aid on your trouble times so that I can… oh SHIT…” The new Monkey King tried to announce before his proud stroll got interrupted by the rather very well polished surface of the council rooms floor.

He tripped and fell forward like a sack full of corn and comically slid the rest of the way into the chamber, face down with the odd music still blaring from his form.

The entire room was silent, minus the still playing music as everybody within the chamber watched in shock and awed silence as their new King made his way to the round console table in the most un-kingly way imaginable.

Sliding along the floor, face down, while groaning.

“Well… at least he was enthusiastic at the start.” One of the Zebra’s blurted out as the song was slowly coming to an end.

Author's Note

In case some of you are wondering how Susara looks like, she is actually featured ON the cover art of this fic. The mare on the right.

Also the Image I used on this chapter is obviously not mine, just found it randomly in the internet and immediately liked it as a perfect representation of a Ancient Persian Palace. But I found the guy who made it on Deviantart, so all credit to him for the pic.

http://ircss.deviantart.com/

Chapter 14: I am the Human version of Cupid, only Bigger

Author's Note

There, this chapter has THREE editors. If some of you still find mistakes...somehow then really, who cares.

Nobody here is a professional. This is all about fun and creativity, while of course making it as perfect looking as possible.

Just contradicted myself there. GREAT!

Chapter 14: I am the Human version of Cupid, only Bigger

Chapter 14: I am the Human version of Cupid, only bigger.

Edited by: Samellan, Veo Skride, pahnazd

“Ah,” I sighed with relief. “Those sand burn lotions that I asked Gilgi for really do work wonders. Note to self, never try to cross the desert in nothing but flip flops.” I reminded myself out loud as I made myself comfortable on my couch.

What? Did somebody really think that I was discussing secret alchemical weapons or magical potions with him? That’s silly. I was actually asking him for a remedy for the slightly burned skin on my feet that I got when I was trudging through that desert with nothing but flip flops… again. The same flip flops I wore when I first came to this world.

Because what person would ever expect that his or her own backdoor would eventually turn into a magical portal that would prove both the existence of different dimensions and the multiverse at the same time?

Yeah, I might not be a scientist or anything, but I might have already considered myself to be greater than Einstein himself. Simply because of the fact that it took me ZERO effort in proving something that pretty much all of the scientific community is still debating on.

With ZERO use of complex mathematics and thinking, too!

Where the hell is my Nobel prize for this achievement, and my eternal place in the hall of fame for the hall of fames? None? Okay, I guess it's true what they say, true genius is always neglected at the very end.

But I am getting off track again, not really the best of times to get lost in thoughts when you still have a baby dragon to feed. No, not gems, but actually something that would help her to grow and stuff.

A healthy and very simple bottle of Zebra milk… no, really. When I first found out that everybody were literally feeding her with the milk coming from a Zebra’s tits I was of course flabbergasted, or on the brink of laughing so hard that they might as well have started to look for another king to do their kinks for them. Especially, according to the servant who brought me the bottle, Penelope's original two caretakers never bothered to ask or get a bottle the same way I did.

Really makes you think, doesn’t it?

But besides that, I just shrugged and took the bottle from the kind enough servant before ramming a piece of cheese into her mouth. Why? Because I have a table supporting a silver plate with a lot of cheese on it.

That’s it.

Anyway, because of the fact that her substitutes have managed to epically fail at their otherwise very simple and ONE job while also somehow managing to set the curtains on fire, it was basically now up to me to fully care for this little bundle of a Spyro knock off until her original caretakers return from their vacation and breast feed her.

No, we are not talking about Cynder, because her introduction was taking place in a moment where Spyro games were taking a nosedive.

Not sure how it feels to have sharp little teeth nibbling on your naked nipples, but hey, it’s not my nipples she will be feasting on, so I really don’t care whom she is dishonoring with her razor sharp Jalapeños.

But what I do care about is getting her fed so that I can start feeding myself, that also involves something with milk.

Cornflakes, or whatever substitute of cornflakes they do have in this land. It’s made out of cocoa beans as far as I have heard, which is fine as I do love chocolate.

Like any normal HUMAN BEING!!! *Stares into space with great intensity*

Oh wait… I don’t belong to THAT group, but I still like chocolate regardless.

With all said and done… in my head, I grabbed the bottle next to me while at the same time grabbing Penelope from her pen to my left. I sat back down onto my ROYAL COUCH that was covered in silk, because… why not?

I played a little bit of “catch the bottle” with her before stopping my trolling and actually giving her the damn bottle. Things quickly went serene and quiet afterwards, with the only sound coming from Penelope as she suckled on her bottle like there’s no tomorrow. No, really, she was already halfway done before I even had the chance to look at something else within the room. That little lady can drink. Now I understand why it said “feed her with two bottles” in the notes that the two caretakers originally provided but nobody read. Well, except me, because I want to keep myself looking at least a little bit more intelligent in comparison to those four jokers.

It’s all about image. If you can make yourself look good, then everybody will believe you. Just look at Donald Trump. If he can become the President of the nationalists, then I can certainly become a king when I spend enough time in front of a mirror.

Oh, wait, that already happened. Oh, whatever.

I was seriously about to let myself go into this “peace and serenity” when someone else’s random knocking put a big fat stop sign on it. I even managed to drop the bottle out of surprise.

I was, of course, annoyed while Penelope was just doing her “Habba habba” despite her missing bottle. This situation was even more agitating when this was supposed to be “Meine Mittagsruhe” in the same way my parents always used to do, while I was busy fucking about outside the house, doing some stupid shit that little kids of my age back then were prone to do.

Why? Because the internet wasn’t as prominent back then as it is today, that’s why. You either had a PC, a PlayStation 2, or a GameCube to waste your time indoors during the early two thousands. No Xbox, because this was Europe and not Canada. Why Canada? Because I want to piss off some nationalists, that’s why.

EAT MY LEDERHOSENS, YOU MCDONALDS WORSHIPPING PEOPLE! CLICHÉ STEREOTYPES FOR EVERYONE!

I grumbled before “oh so reluctantly” getting off of my multi thousand euro couch and making myself walk to the door. I could have also called out to this “störenfried” that the door was unlocked and that he or she could come in to ME, and not ME to them. But I wasn’t thinking that far ahead until I already reached the door.

I grabbed the handle with my free hand and opened it, only to find Bakuss with a “thing” wrapped up on his back. My first idea was fan mail -for some reason- until I realized that I never had a Facebook account or any account on any social media besides Youtube. But I am the King now, so… yeah, whatever, also that thing looked a bit too alive to be considered a back of crag. So that theory got shafted rather quickly.

I raised an eyebrow at this curious scene. “I didn’t know that slavery was part of the Zebrican culture.” I casually remarked while Penelo was tugging at my shirt somewhat.

Bakuss just shook his head. “It’s not a slave, Your Highness, but a prisoner that I captured down in the town. A rather unique prisoner to boot.” He explained which again peaked my interest.

“Oh, an UNIQUE Prisoner, you say? Unique enough to bring it straight to me and not just throw it into a hole and tell me later about it kind of unique? Now that’s... now that’s unique right there.” I answered typically, which in turn made Bakuss nod to either me, or to himself.

“Which is EXACTLY why I have brought this thing to you after having first presented it to the Council. I am sure that YOU of all individuals would be able to make this thing talk where the entire Council failed.” He explained which basically… answers nothing.

Especially given the fact that he first went to the Council with that “thing”. So maybe not as “unique” as I first thought it would be… or was.

But then again, his logic does make sense as it is just a copy-paste version of my own logic. They learn so fast these days.

I just blew a raspberry as it didn’t seem to be a chance for me to properly enjoy “Meine Mittagsruhe”. Well, to be honest, it kind of IS. Being the freaking king and all. But as I said many times before, image is everything, so me doing this or not doing this might eventually bite me is the ass one way or another, and seeing the sharp fangs on that thing might actually hold some levity to that statement.

The choice was clear. First take a quick piss before heading to the throne room for this “interrogation”. Why the throne room and not just here? Well, no real reason, to be honest.

Not everything you do or think about needs to make sense. Even nonsense can make sense in the end. Just look at American Idols and the hundreds of clones that spawn from it, there is your answer.

“Give me a sec to take a piss, then we can go to the room of thrones and have a closer look at that fun package you have brought with you.” I instructed.

Bakuss just nodded as a response before I walked back into my room to do just that.

Kind of escaped me at the beginning that I still had to finish Penelo's feeding. But hey, I am sure that they also deliver MARE milk to the throne room as well. That’s what the armrests are for, anyway... or so I think. Which, for everybody's sake, is never good.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“…and you shall sit here.” I casually declared while placing Penelope on her cushioned pedestal next to my throne.

She just mumbled happily in her baby talk, which really never gets old.

I sat down myself afterwards and gave the pile of cushions under me a little test wiggle to make sure that everything was comfortable and in order.

I don’t want to have to ask Gilgi for sore ass lotions too. That would just be embarrassing at that point. For him, not for me.

I gave Bakuss my full attention once more when everything was said and done. The thing behind him was still tied up and unconscious. Other extra additions were the Palace guards, which by the way, have doubled around the throne when I announced to take this interrogation to the most wide open space within the entire compound. Not really the best place to uphold a close up look at an unknown species, but whatever, as I said before, not everything needs to make sense.

That, and the fact that IMAGE is everything. Sitting on a big ass bronze throne with massive lion heads protruding from it does make things look a little bit more foreboding and powerful for the observer. Certainly a lot more epic than a simple chair and a dinky wooden table.

I gave Bakuss the signal to begin this charade. He nods before just uncaringly dropping the bag to the ground, which, actually, did the trick in getting the thing to start stirring and groaning. Funny, I would have tried using smelling salts or, for more extreme situations, my cousins’ cooking. But since none of my countless cousins are here, I would be forced to just use option number one. Or just throw rotten eggs at his face.

Not sure where I could find rotten eggs in a Palace, but whatever.

I leaned forward on my throne as the thing started to wake up. Its pupil-less eyes and shiny chitin-like surface were immediate attention hooks, especially when I managed to have some glimpses of its limbs when they started to move outside its brown cloth coverings.

I perked up at those as I immediately recognized them as hooves. Hole ridden hooves, but hooves nonetheless. Also, the sound of insect wings began to buzz from under its cloak as well, which pretty much gave me everything I needed to know about its size, its body structure and shape of the head.

“Oh, it's a bug horse.” I casually commented which in turn caused the BUG to immediately look up at me with a snarl.

“I am NOT a simple bug horse.” He shouted which immediately earned him more pressure on his back, coming from Bakuss’ hoof, to be precise.

I guess it was a he, judging by his voice, even though it sounded as if two voices were speaking at once. A very easy editing anyone can make on any computer.

I think.

The THING grunted in response before trying to push against it, only to be forced down even harder as Bakuss just added even more pressure to his stance. With him still tied up, he was obviously in a huge strength disadvantage.

Realizing this he quickly stopped his struggling. He just laid there for a while face down before looking up again, his glare still present and still very much aimed at me, even though I have never met him nor touched him. That, though, shall be fixed soon, as I suddenly found myself re-experiencing my childlike curiosity at seeing something new, exotic and overall unknown. A sensation that every child gets when seeing something new and never seen before in their young little lives.

In other words, he or she needs to TOUCH IT.

I got up from my throne without warning and casually made my way down. Bakuss, the guards and even Horsey McBug were all staring me as I descended the steps towards them. Bakuss, of course, was the first to protest.

“Your Highness, I wouldn’t advise to…” He tried to warn before being cut off by the very thing he was standing on.

The bug horse immediately began to hiss at me fiercely when I got too close, causing all of the guards to immediately draw their swords and point their spears at the offending thing.

I, of course, stopped mid stride at the creature’s sudden hiss. Everybody were on edge at this point, except for Bakuss, who didn’t bother to increase his pressure as he didn’t want it to suffocate the thing before I could even get a word out to it. Well, my fifth word, to be honest, but it’s the thought that counts, just like how I counted the first four words I uttered to this thing.

I need to find better ways in spending my time. Like, maybe getting back to my room and enjoy “Meine Mittagsruhe” LIKE HOW I WANTED TO!

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GIVE THE CROWN TO BAKUSS AND RETIRE EARLY. Oh, wait, the crown is still missing somewhere in the Gazelle lands.

Never mind, then.

Ah, for fudge’s sake, I am getting lost again.

I quickly returned, dropping my left leg back down and just looking down at the still snarling form of that bug horse thing. Its long fangs, that scrunched up muzzle and those blue oversized eyes. Then it hit me.

Despite all protests and continuous hisses coming from the bug, I still continued to approach until I was literally right on top of him. Pushing Bakuss aside and picking the still protesting bug thing up, I simply looked at him while he just looked at me with that same angry look.

I quickly grinned. “Oh, look at you, trying to look all scary and shit.” I cooed which replaced his anger with complete confusion really quickly. Well, too bad, as he will most likely be even more confused later on.

I continued to hold the surprisingly light creature with one arm as I booped his nose. As predicted, the confusion only skyrocketed from that point.

“Ooh, I just love it when little tiny monsters are trying so hard to be all intimidating, but fail simply because their appearance and body structure just prevents them to look even remotely scary.” I announced before continuing on. “Who is a scary little bug horse? You are, yes, you are.” I baby talked while booping its nose with almost every word.

Everybody, especially the bug horse I was holding, were utterly lost as I just continued to baby talk to the thing.

Well, that moment of confused bliss didn’t last for too long as the bug horse suddenly sported a rather dopey look on his muzzle, perfectly reminiscing to someone who is either high or drunk as fuck.

How? Well, I would LOVE to know that myself, to be honest. I personally find this sudden change in character to be… too sudden, even for my liking. Such sudden changes are usually my thing and not normal people’s.

Well, he might not be AS normal as I’d like to think, mostly revolving around his Frankenstein-esque appearance. The crossbreed between an insect and one of those tiny horse creatures. But then again, I am in a world where the laws of Final Fantasy or Elder Scrolls are an actual thing, so… no surprise here, or at least it shouldn’t be.

Anyway, let’s just get back on track, shall we? For, like… 4.567.234.675th time in my life. Counting is a lot different than actual math, I’d like to add. Always hated it and was never really good at it besides the basics.

Anyway, I stopped my cooing and just rose my eyebrow at this sudden change of character. Even Bakuss seemed bewildered by his sudden switch.

“Your Love tastes REALLY goooooood.” He suddenly and drunkenly stated, which only caused my eyebrow to raise even higher.

“Love?” I began.” What love? Are you already going gay on me?” I suspiciously questioned. I had a lot of gays to deal with back in the Philippines, mostly in barber shops, being forced to let them cut my hair.

Yes, I am a German who lived in the Philippines prior to coming here, which is also why the sudden shift from tropics to desert was hardly a bother for me. Especially when in certain times of the year, even the tropics close to the equator can become just as hot as any desert in the world.

I think it’s called El Niño or something like that. A very hot drought season where there are next to no clouds in the sky. Can’t really check my sources about it simply because I no longer have access to the internet for very obvious reasons.

I just kept on suspiciously staring at this newly found lover boy, before something else quickly took my attention. It was a poke, a poke aimed at my stomach, to be precise, and a very reminiscing poke at that. I looked down to see what exactly was poking my abdomen only for me to get confused.

At first I didn’t know what I was looking at, when all of the sudden my childlike side quickly gave way to my more “MATURE” side and I immediately knew EXACTLY what I was looking at.

“This is the very first boner I ever saw since coming to this world.” I thought to myself casually. Granted, the first boner I ever saw in this world was from Najero, but that thing was so far away and so deep inside Nami’s hole which really doesn’t make it count in my book.

Now this, this was a much more proper representation of someone getting hard… on me… while I was holding them… bloody fantastic…

The choice was clear — drop this lover boy and pretend that THIS never happened. All the cuteness and adorableness that used to be there is now completely and utterly gone, smashed and thrown out of the window with one decisive move. Another prime example that Nature is a total bitch.

I have seen enough gay shit back in Philippines barber shops and I certainly don’t need to see more of it. I mean, it is nice to know that you are loved and all, but this certainly is overstepping some boundaries.

You can be gay all you want, but please keep it in your pants, or I might get nightmares instead of my usual fever dreams. Granted, I might be a lucid dreamer, but still, I would love to start my journey through the La La Land without the image of a mountain sized dick greeting me.

I would rather prefer a mountain of tits, but alas. Think of the children. Those nasty little children.

Anyway, the dude gave off a loud “oof” when I dropped him butt first onto the carpet. Bakuss was the first to step up, only to stop when he saw the Glory of Nature himself.

I think he was just as surprised and confused as I was, but it all doesn’t matter now as we still have a fellow MALE with a serious emergency.

There is only one way to get gayness out of his system and maybe to shove this interrogation work to someone else instead.

I still want to enjoy “Meine Mittagsruhe”, after all, still have a baby dragon to properly feed.

I immediately pointed at the closest guard. “You there, go get a female servant immediately. Tell her that her king wishes to see her about a very important emergency.” I ordered.

The guard just bowed before dashing off to do my bidding, without even bothering to ask any questions, mind you.

Good, for whatever future ideas I have that are either unethical, crazy, unorthodox or just plain out strange, I might need some REAL unquestioning soldiers that are ready to do almost anything.

Like, right now, but you all will find out soon enough what I have in mind, so I really don’t need to explain this to anyone. Plus, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what exactly I had in mind, especially when you are past sixteen or even younger.

Thank you, internet, for getting everyone so “frühreif” in the modern age.

The bug horse was, of course, glaring up at me for the unintentional flooring I gave him, though not as HARD though, as he seemed to be drunk on “Love” that I gave him… somehow.

All I did was say that he looked adorable trying to be scary and shit, and BOOM — instant LSD and a serious case of the homos.

Now I wish I had some good LSD myself so that I can get that nasty feeling out of me. It’s bad enough that I get flashed with horsey vaginas, and now horsey dicks too? Why does this world have such a massive hard on for me? All I am doing is the same shit I have been doing back in my world. Is that so sexy over here? I am not even interested in any form of a relationship. Well, besides cheese and coffee, of course.

Wait… coffee gives me LSD effect if I drink enough of it! The next course of action is clear.

I looked over to the second closest guard. “And you, could you please go to the royal kitchen and request a giant kettle of perfectly brewed cappuccino. I certainly need it.” I requested which in turn caused this particular guard to bow as well before dashing off to do his job.

It’s really good to be the king, sometimes… what am I saying, it’s more like ALL THE TIME.

Bakuss was the first to say something after all this nonsense transpired. “So… are you… going to try ask him questions now, or do you want to wait for that mare to DO her job?” He curiously questioned, which was a bit of a surprise.

I guess he knew what I was getting at with my request, but as to why he hasn’t yet protested about it is a lot more interesting thought to focus on.

I just stroked my chin while still looking at the still floored thing in front of us. It surprisingly didn’t take that long for the first guard I sent off to arrive with a mare servant in tow. How he managed to stumble into one I don’t know, and frankly I couldn’t care less about it either. At this point I am just waiting for my LSD to arrive so that I can go visit that Chocolate factory again.

Wonder if Willy also makes chocolate cookies?

The guard bowed after he stopped. “As requested, I have brought a young servant mare to you in earnest, Your Highness.” He responded, which in turn caused the rather good looking mare to step up herself and bow.

I do have to admit, they do all look pretty good in their own black and white Persian way.

She began to speak while keeping low. “One of your guards have told me everything of the situation. Just say the word, and I shall do as you wish.” She declared softly and steadily.

I clapped my hands before pointing at the bug next to me, who had at this point seemed to have realized what has transpired down below and immediately did his best at covering himself with his cloak, which by the way wasn’t that easy on his part as he was obviously still tied up.

I paused for a moment, watching him getting all panicky from his exposure. I eventually looked back at the servant, completely ignoring the noise that was happening next to me. The servant in particular was immediately drawn to our new embarrassed guest, which was good, at least then I didn’t needed to waste my energy in repointing at him.

What can I say? I can be lazy for some of the most miniscule reasons.

“Ah, I see that you have already taken notice of our new guest.” I announced as my trademark grin formed.

“Well, that’s good, because I wish for you to escort this fine...” I moved my finger in quotation. “GUEST over here to a private room where you are instructed to try and get as much information out of him as possible. Either through mental or…” I puckered my lips, “physical means, as I am sure you will find out.” I explained.

She of almost immediately nodded to my request before trotting over to the bug thing. The bug in question looked up at her as the two first had proper eye contact with one another.

Both of them stared at one another with great curiosity. However, only one of them was acting with curiosity, while the other was just staring with suspicion.

The mare eventually smiled kindly at the bug, which in turn caused said bug to visibly blush. It seems my work here is done, and I may have accidentally created a couple with my otherwise lewd ideas.

Alexander, you sneaky little “Schwein”, how do you do it?

No, seriously, how the fuck do I do it? Luckily made King, Superpower jump wall running prototype monkey reflexes, to accidental military strategist, and now, the living embodiment of Cupid. Just find some adult sized diapers and a ridiculously small bow with arrows, and I shall run around shooting people in the butt with them.

Unsharpened arrows, of course, unless the person I am shooting is into that short of thing.

Anyway, we all watched as this spectacle continued.

“Would you like me to untie your bounds for you?” She kindly questioned which again took the bug totally by surprise.

The Bug was obviously still confused by all of this, but he reluctantly nodded, especially when the servant continued to show him hospitality and kindness. Later she might be shooting rainbows from her ass, but I guess I am going a little bit too far with that thought. I blame the fucking Care Bears for that one. Making the term “caring” look and sound really gay and cheesy.

Either way, she did her job in trying to get rid of those knots for him with her bloody dental tools which allowed the bug to stand up. The guards, of course, were on high alert afterwards, ready to jump in and nip him if things went down south. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case as he was still focused on the kind servant mare next to him.

Good, this was a part of my plan anyway. Now his honor as a male has been restored... or maybe he is just bi, who knows.

“Please, follow me while I lead you to your quarters. The Palace can be quite confusing to those who do not know its layout.” She announced.

The Bug again just nodded before following her to whatever room they were heading, silent with no word spoken from him.

It was then when I remembered something. “Wait a second, are you single, by any chance?” I called out towards the servant which in turn caused her to stop and look at me.

“Well… yes, of course, Your Highness. Most of the servants are, to be honest.” She responded. “Why would you ask that, Your Highness?” She quickly questioned, which I swiftly waved off.

“Ah, nothing. Just go ahead and fulfill your task.” I respond which in turn caused her to give a short bow before continuing on with leading the bug to his possible love nest and mind softening.

I clapped my hands together once they were gone through the back door behind the throne, happy that I once again managed to make someone else do my job.

“Ahh, all in a day’s work.” I announced before heading back up to my throne.

It was also then when guard numero dos returned from his task with another mare balancing a tray on her back with both my novelty mug and a kettle on it.

I smiled at that, especially when the smell of freshly brewed cappuccino entered my nose.

“Are you sure that this decision was a wise one, Your Highness? That thing almost killed one of our guards and openly murdered one of his own kind when I tried to question him for some information.” Bakuss asked as the mare climbed up the steps to bring me my late afternoon brew.

She also brought a bottle of milk, which was mighty convenient.

I just poured myself a cup of Joe into my novelty mug and took a small test sip before replying. “Probably not, but it has so far served me well in regards of doing things in a highly unorthodox and unpredictable nature. You lot don’t seem to cope well when randomness and confusion seems to set in, which, as you can see, I am taking full advantage of for maximum effectiveness and experimental curiosity. And who knows, perhaps the mare will be able to make a win where all of you hardy officials failed. Most likely using force and threats to try and get your ways.” I answered which in turn caused Bakuss to think for a while.

He eventually looked back up. “Well, let’s just hope HER affection would be enough to get into the bug’s mind. I would hate having to write her family an apology letter.” He added while I took another sip of my brew.

Penelope, after a while, was trying to reach for the bottle that the mare also brought with her. I happily assisted her by picking her up and placing her on my lap, before grabbing the bottle and giving it to her. It didn’t took long for her to display her champion like chugging abilities as the bottle was half empty almost immediately.

If she already starts drinking like that with milk, just imagine how she could perform once she starts drinking alcohol.

Either way, with the momentary responsibilities out of the way, I was once again free to enjoy my afternoon break with nothing to hinder me from it anymore. Or so I thought, this whole ordeal did have the sad misfortune of reminding me of something else that is rather important.

The Gazelle situation. It certainly has been a while since their kin have last seen them, which obviously means that there might be something cooking over there with the suspicious absence of those two. Especially given the fact that they are daughters of a chieftain.

Yeah, I might want to look into that while I still have the chance. What the heck am I talking about? I have basically all the choices in the world, thanks to my position. So, for the sake of trying to prevent myself from getting into even more work and headaches to worry about in the future, I might as well try to solve all of these issues now while I still have the chance to do them one at a time.

I blew a tired raspberry-ish exhale as it seemed clear that I only avoided one portion of my work to make more space for another. Might as well get this over with and enjoy a more certain undisturbed break at another time.

I quickly finished my mug before looking back at Bakuss. “Could you perhaps go and bring the two Gazelle sisters to me? Now that I am free once more, I might as well look into this whole “Gazelle issue” you guys seem to have. Might as well kill two birds with one stone while we’re at it.” I requested to the still standing captain.

Bakuss immediately nodded. “Of course. I will head over to the Palace wing that they are held in right away.” He replied, giving me a small bow before trotting off.

This was certainly going to be something that is most likely going to result in me having to go back out into the (god forbid!) outside world. Such is the nature of old school monarchy, the king or queen always have to be personally present for some national or political issue. I mean, I can just get myself some “representatives”, but having experience with the incompetence of the guards just after I arrived here makes me rather wary to appoint anyone outside the High Shamans, High Priests, or any of my officers for the job.

Maybe I am being a bit unfairly judgmental to the majority of commoners, but at the same time, I am REALLY hard to impress. So, all of you better try your BEST if you want my eyes to go wide with me saying “YESSSSS! You are hired. Now got do all of my important responsibilities so I don’t have to do them anymore.”

The work requirements these days are quite high, let me tell you.

Fucking outdated and broken school system. Oh, wait, that’s my world, not this one.

“Wait, where was I again…”

“Habba bubba.” Penelope suddenly babbled, which in turn forced me to look back down. Not really surprising to see that she has already managed to fully suck dry her baby bottle.

No, really, I couldn’t even make out a single trace of milk inside the glass container. Either she somehow managed to take the sucker off of it and used her long dragon tongue to scrub the rest of the milk out of its housing, or she has some grade A suckage going on with those lips of hers.

Wonder if she is also good in blowing? I might have found my replacement bike pump if that is the case.

Speaking of bikes, I just remembered. “That asshole still owes me money for running over my bike that my cousin borrowed a week before I got transported to this land. Now I will never get my hands on that money.” I thought to myself, crossing my arms and frowning at this realization. Can’t believe I totally forgot about that. A whole year of insurance, completely out the blasted window!

Unbeknownst to me, Penelope mimicked my pose and expression.

Chapter 23: A Kingdom under a Kingdom...not confusing at all

Author's Note

I was planning to add some concept sketches for both Princess Palmyria and Farries, but obviously did not.

Didn't got the time to do so. But I will add them for the next chapter.

Chapter 23: A Kingdom under a Kingdom...not confusing at all

Chapter 23: A kingdom under a Kingdom… not confusing at all.

Edited by: pahnazd

I was gripping the handles of my throne hard as I started to hyperventilate. Many within the throne room, including the 3 changelings, were looking up at me with great concern and surprise, mostly thanks to the fact that I just started to transform into a living vacuum cleaner without any warning.

Liuanda was the first to rush up to me, her voice and tone pretty much portraying exactly what everyone else was thinking at the moment… or so I hope.

“Your highness, what’s wrong? Your highness, say something!” Liu shouted in panic as she nudged her hoof against my shoulder.

This move actually did the trick as I sharply turned my head towards the sergeant. She flinched, though didn’t get very far with her backward jerk as I quickly grasped her face with both of my hands.

“Liu, I just received… MORE WORK. Not only that, but I have just been proposed by a princess to be her groom. Oh, the insanity. I haven’t even witnessed my first bachelor party yet and I am already getting flanked by females left and right.” I exclaimed before squeezing her cheeks a bit. ”There is only one true love I have and that was the internet, right below coffee and then cheese, my top-most love in my life.” I explained with haste, my tone low and my eyes wide.

Liu, on the other hand, mimicked my expression, her eyes just as wide as mine, though filled with more confusion rather than realization.

I felt slightly miffed. No idea what else she was expecting to come out of my mouth. She should know that I really, really love my cheese and a good cup of coffee as well, followed by the wonder of the internet and my passion for art, music, and, of course, some good old history. Strange how the internet is now listed as number three given the fact that it used to be number 6. But the lost access to the internet and the fact that I left my laptop back on my world as well really makes me miss these two whenever I get bored.

No Youtube, no Twitch, no Netflix, no DeviantArt, and certainly no Youpor-YOU-INTERNET.COM… yes that one.
Anyway, back on topic.

I finally let go of Liu’s face after a full minute of just staring into her soul, which, in turn, made her feel really awkward if her darting eyes were anything to go by.

She fell backwards with a thud before I focused my attention too… Actually, no, I have some thinking to do first before saying anything.

I scratched my chin. “Let’s see, I have two options here. Either I help her, get her shit for myself in exchange for marriage so that I can keep her shit. Or not help her and not get her shit, which in turn could possibly lead to her losing or winning, either of which could lead to two extra scenarios. If she loses, it’s pretty much clear; that crazed mommy of hers is most likely going to be a real back sore later on which I obviously don’t need. But if she wins, it could lead to two separate events as well. Either nothing happens and I don’t get my shit, or something happens which circles back to event number one, though this time she gets all spiteful to me and then SHE becomes a future back sore that I really don’t want. I doubt that these Zebras have enough TNT at their disposal to blow up an entire underground passage system to keep the bugs out, and even if they do, I would certainly reach the risk of me causing more damage than preventing. Either half of the city goes up in flames with it or sink into the ground afterwards. Hmmmm, so many choices to make.” I thought to myself as I continued to scratch my chin and pucker my lips.
I stared up at the ceiling and only just noticed how well ornamented and crafted it is… such a nicely made and artistic ceiling.

My eyes went wide as I quickly realized something else instead.

“Or I could just say no and still get my shit. Yeah I think I will do just that.” I added with a hum.

I nodded to myself. I was about to readdress the little princess with my thoughts when a random guard suddenly decided to come out of fucking nowhere.

He bowed before raising back up after giving the changelings behind him something to look at. One even somewhat recoiled, either from pleasant surprise or undeniable horror. Which one it was, I don’t know.

He looked up at me with his eyes and his eyes only thanks to the fully-enclosed helmet and faceguard. “Your highness, Captain Bakuss and his companion Farries have returned and are waiting outside the throne room for your permission.

Should I allow them entry or tell them to postpone until your meeting is over?” Random guard number… whatever has announced before lowering his head again.

This caused me to respond with an “Ooh”

“Well, in that case just tell him to get his ass over here and bring his new boyfriend as well. Tell him that his princess is here too. Also, give me a detailed report of his reaction after you tell him that. I would love to see it myself, but I am currently too comfortable on the throne to be bothered to get up. Now, stop staring at the fuzz and to get me the lass.” I ordered.

The guard just gave me a quick nod before cantering off to the other side of the hall. Quite a spectacle to see in just how disrespectful this throne hall really is in terms of space. Why monarchs of old wanted so much space to walk and sit in I will never know. Can’t even use this room as a makeshift “Rumpelkammer” thanks to all of those large windows on both sides and the long stretch of open roof that follows along the path to the actual throne.

Too exposed and too much wind in here to be an authentic “Rumpelkammer”. Not enough conditions for dust to settle in.

Palmyria actually began to mumble to herself after a while. “Farries, Farries, Farries. I could have sworn that I heard that name before.” The little ‘ling mumbled while rubbing the base of her chin.

Liu, on the other hand, just stood there next to me, having long since gotten up on all fours and mumbling to herself as well. Through a lot quieter and alot less… Farries related, if her mumbling of a flank was anything to go by.

Well, good for her, that flank of hers needs some flattening out anyway. It’s too round and too… muscular to be allowed in front elders and minors alike. Especially around the guard. Can’t have them getting distracted by contorting mare cheeks now, can we? They should stay vigilant and guard ME, not just be looking at softcore porn.

Anyway, back to reality, and not a moment too soon as I quickly spotted a pair of horseys cantering down towards me from the entrance. What did surprise me though was the fact that both Nami and Najero were a part of their group as well. Always wondered where these two run off whenever I am not around too… but then again, I probably don’t want to, given their… questionable relationship.

‘True sibling love’ is what they say. Well, I shall be the judge on that one, especially thanks to all of the hentai I got exposed to thanks to my cousin.

Bakuss, as expected, immediately bowed after reaching the foot of the throne. Not so much with the siblings though. They just swiftly took to the sides, rather awkwardly, if I may add. But then again, I would say that them not bowing is a good thing. Don’t want to risk blinding some of our new guests with Nami’s full moon now, do we?

Farries, on the other hand, was rather still, but so was Palmyria when those two first made eye contact with one another, the former actually starting to look at him with great suspicious and caution.
But I let it slide. I, of course, have other fish to fry here, just so that I can finally get out of this bloody hall and get back into my bloody chambers. Penelope over here even fell asleep at some point.

With that thought, I clapped my hands in earnest to allow Bakuss to rise and say his piece.
I bet that his exploits weren’t as exciting as mine, but hey, one can still hope.

“Your highness. I have just heard of your… unfortunate accident back at the Bazaar today. I hope that you aren’t too bruised from this event. It would have been truly tragic if the new king would have gone out this way… not to mention so soon.” Bakuss announced while looking up at me with his emerald green eyes.

Quite unique looking, I have to say.

Either way, I just scoffed at his concerns and laughed. “Hah, and to think that you lot are going to get rid of me that quickly? Perish the thought, but yes, yes, I am doing pretty well. Besides some minor rear and back pain I am all dandy. In fact, those EVIL changeling guards that were about to stick the poor little princess over there before I oh-so-unpredictably arrived on top of them were quite the living fall dampeners when I crashed onto them. Taking them out AND saving myself a pretty little princess to boot. All done in a day’s work. Quite the adventure, if I have to say so myself.” I casually responded, gloating a bit at the totally planned and purposely achieved achievement here.

“But enough lollygagging. What is it that you have brought me today, dear old Bakuss? Some good news about your little changeling hunting exploits? Or perhaps a confession that you and Farries over there have finally started to see one another eye to eye? Being a changeling, I am sure that he can fix his whole “Dick” situation faster than you can blink. Lucky you if that is the case.” I casually commented.

This had the desired effect of getting everyone’s attention in an instant, with both Bakuss and Farries having the most extreme reaction, of course. Both of their eyes wide with the changeling having a wide open mouth as well.

Najero and Nami just snickered which in turn earned them a quick glare from Bakuss which in turn caused them to immediately shut up.

Palmyria, on the other hand, just scratched her head thoughtfully. “Well, it IS possible for a changeling to morph its sex to match that of the one it’s trying to mimic. We are called changelings for a reason after all, and our main source of sustenance is love and other positive emotions, which go hoof in hoof with our abilities.” She unintentionally commented, which in turn really wasn’t doing the two main individuals of this conversation any significant favors.

It actually made the whole thing even more awkward for them, forcing Bakuss to aim his glare at the ignorant little princess instead. Farries on the other end was actually darting his eyes back and forth awkwardly, seeming to be rather clueless on how to react to this situation. Funny how featureless eyes can dart in the first place. Even more surprising is that I managed to make that connection by just looking at him.

Bakuss eventually groaned before rubbing his right eye in annoyance. “Well, for starters, no we are not in any ongoing relationship, simply because ONE: My door curtains do not blow that way, and TWO: Because I still don’t trust this ‘ling one bit. Second: Yes I did manage to confirm that more changeling are indeed living down in the city among us, masking themselves as ordinary citizens. Some of them even have basic jobs and families of their own. Quite… an interesting revelation, I have to say, especially when most would think that their kind would operate somewhat more maliciously given their abilities and natural diet. Not really expecting them to be living, or rather trying to live peacefully with normal

Zebras all around them.” He answered steadily, looking somewhat thoughtful in between his explanations.

This caused Palmyria to look somewhat sad though. “Well, that is actually one of the problems why most changelings throughout the history prefer to live underground or in the shadows. All thanks to the stigmatization of others that we are nothing but love-sucking, vampiric monsters that stalk in the darkness. For some hives out there it might be true, but then there are also some hives like ours that have strived for many generations to be more than just what nature made them to be, to be more open and approachable to other races. Trying to have a distinct culture of their own and to get in contact with the rest of the world in a more peaceful way, to be accepted and loved so that we don’t have to rely on our old ways to gain that love which helps us to survive. We didn’t chose to be the way that we are now, it was nature that made us this way and we can’t change that.” She spoke in a heartfelt tone that was true and dear in her voice.

She seemed to really believe in her race’s ability to be much more than what nature originally intended them to be, a type of ideology and goal that I can’t help but respect. Trying to go against your nature is never easy.

Unless you’re human. For us it’s like looking at something and going “Meh” before just walking off and doing something else instead. Yeah, we are the ultimate rule breakers, and if there might be something out there that hasn’t been broken before, we will then use all of our minds, wills and general desire to fuck ship up to break it anyway. Because that how we roll, with sunglasses and all.

But anyway, the entire hall was silent after the princess’s lengthy speech of her people. It was quite clear, or at least somewhat, that most of her subjects (or at least those sharing her ideology) are pretty much just normal individual trying to live normal lives like everyone else - just trying to get along while nurturing whatever culture and philosophy these changelings actually have. You know, like every civilization ever.

Only difference is that these are natural shape shifters, and some kind of vampiric love-suckers to boot. The latter being quite kinky for those with perverted minds, especially with her previous “sex change” comment she gave. But let’s not focus on that, rather, let’s just get back on the topic and see what we can get from here on out… or rather should.

Liu was the first to speak after the silence. “Well, this is certainly some grade-A philosophy there. At least I can tell with confidence now that your kind has at least my ears and my attention. If your accounts of your mother are true, then I would say that some form of a mutual cooperation would be in the best interest for both parties. That is…” She looked back up at me with questionable eyes.”… If the king fully agrees to my offer. I am just a sergeant, after all, nothing close to the captain and certainly far from any leading figure.” Liu responded, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

Most likely due to her realization that she spoke up like that even though she wasn’t that much of an important figure to begin with. She is just a step-up higher from a private after all, followed by recruits.

I just brushed it off as I personally see more value on individuals with clear and talented minds rather than ranks. ”Well yes, yes I do in fact.” I announced with my trademark grin. “This is obviously a problem that swiftly needs addressing one way or another. From what Plamyria has told me so far when she…” I gave her a deadpan stare which she quickly understood and responded with an awkward smile. ”…was busy preventing me and the rest from reaching the Palace any sooner, she actually took that time to answer all sorts of questions that I proposed to her while she didn’t get jack shit in return, because I didn’t know anything that she was questioning me about.” I continued on, a comment which forced her to give me a deadpan look instead.

Yes, as I said before, she was more or less pestering me with all sorts of questions regarding the Zebras’ culture, religion and overall history whenever she spotted something that her dainty little… or rather, HUGE blue eyes glued on.

As said before, I managed to dodge all of her questions and pretended to be an imbecile when it comes to history… which I am not but she obviously doesn’t know that… yet.
I am far too lazy to be playing 20 questions with her, not to mention wasting a lot of time while doing so.

Either way, at some point I started to wonder when she was finally going to start guessing that this one-sided exchange wasn’t going to bring her any favors, which in turn it finally did, just now, when I basically spelled it out for her.

“Well, too late to be salty now. You are now in MY Palace, little missy, and I know for a fact that you need my jugs.” I thought to myself with an idiotic grin before getting back on topic.

“Anyway, as far as I know from her, her mother is on a Titanic-crashing-course of crazy loco, loco insanity and it has been going worse every time she was seen leaving and entering the throne room, most likely going to her chambers or whatever places a crazy little queen likes to go. And people around here think I am crazy.” I announced while grinning to myself.

This caused Bakuss to perk up though. “So wait, that doesn’t mean she has always been like this?” He asked while looking at the princess.

She in turn just shook her head. ”Not, at least, in such a maniacal state as she is now. She even started to act on more emotional impulses, making drastic… and do I dare say stupid decisions that seem to harm more of her efforts rather than lifting them, things she would have never done when I was still a nymph. Sure, she has always been a lot more direct with her ways, but never to such impulsive levels. Something must be influencing her on a mental level, which should be impossible. A changeling queen’s mind is among the strongest ones you can find thanks to their natural affinity over the hive mind, which basically connects every living changeling around her, with her. Or rather, it used to.” She explained before looking down at the ground.

This caused Liu to think. “Well, that is certainly peculiar, if that is the case.” She commented.

Man, if I would have thought that today was going to be a day of nothing but sitting around and talking about stuff, I would have brought my copy of the Star Wars trilogy and watched that instead to balance out the monotony of me just sitting around and talking. Well, more like them doing most of the talking, which is pretty much the same as watching the trilogy. Only less… interesting.

You know what? Never mind. I should really focus more on the situation at hand than start dreaming about watching below-mediocre movies to replace chloroform.

Either way, I forced myself back into the game as Palmyria was talking about something again. Something related to some strange statue she remembered seeing as a nymph with glowing runes all over its bod….
Then it hit me. Don’t ask me how but it just clicked. Even someone with a chaotic mind like mine can experience some eureka moments. Actually most brilliant ideas did came from the unpredictable chaos of a mad man’s mind, but that is not the point.

What is the point though is the realization that just smashed through me. Something that just made sense the moment I thought about it.

I screamed while repeatedly smashing my armrests with my fist in a continuous motion. This, of course, got everyone’s attention immediately as they all looked up at me with wide eyes as a response of my sudden antics.

Penelope was still curled up, though. Again, zero fucks given from her.

“What the… your highness? What is wrong?” Liu asked as she basically took the brunt of my outburst by being the closest to me.

By ‘closest’ I mean still standing next to me on the damn throne.
Either way, I quickly stopped and looked at her. “The idol, it’s the freakin idol. Oh dear lord am I going to be drowning in cogs when this is all done.” I hastily responded with a mad grin, which in turn caused more questions than answers to everyone around me, judging by their looks.

Bakuss tilted his head. ”The idol? You mean the item that the Gazelles are looking for? What of it?” He asked, giving me a curious look.
I reached out, trying to grip Liu’s face once more, but I stopped midway, causing her to flinch and almost fall off the platform the throne was sitting on. Instead, I looked over at Bakuss with the same expression.

Too bad that my arms weren’t long enough to reach him, otherwise I would have cupped his cheeks instead for dramatic effect.

“The idol which she just mentioned. This glowing rune-etched to a statue. It has to be the idol that we are looking for, and it was right beneath us this entire time.” I exclaimed with audible excitement.

Everybody was still confused for a moment, especially the changelings as they had no clue as to what I was talking about.

But before anyone could perk up or respond, I pointed a finger at Liu, dramatically of course, before shouting ‘pwn, noob’ in my mind for no reason.

“Liu, go get the Gazelles. They need to hear this description to see if my hunch is right or not. Quick, the existence of my never-ending stream of cheese and coffee depends on it!” I ordered with a raised finger.

Liu, being the slow-minded mare that she can be when it comes to my random antics and thought process, just looked at me continuously with her slow-processing eyes.

She tried to respond. “But, are you sure that they…” She tried to babble before I swiftly stopped her by cupping her cheeks this time.

“Yes, yes yes yes yes yes yes. Go and get them.” I shook her a bit before letting go.

I continued to by shooting her off with my hands and just randomly pointing at something. She just nodded frantically before galloping off to hopefully do my bidding and getting those short-tailed, blackberry-nosed quadrupeds.

Bet they are still in their room, especially given the reason I had received as to why they are still here in the first place.

Returning without the idol… and also me would bring GREAT shame to their names. Japanese samurai style, or whatever.
With her gone, I simply continued to be all hyped while grinning to myself like a complete nut job, clapping my hands together in glee and sugar coating my chin.

“Oh yes, I am a GENIUS, a bloody genius for being the first to see this. The idol was here, all along, the big Gazelle bossy hossy was right all along… or at least in something. But instead of being up here, it is actually down there. Ooh, Alex, “Du pfiffiger kleines arschlock du”. My grandmother always told me that I was a very clever little boy… or was it really my distant cousin from a third degree that told me that? Ah, don’t remember and certainly don’t care.” I pep talked myself as I began hopping up and down on the throne, causing some of the pillows to spill out from the side and fall down the platform.

The entire party in front of me still standing below was, of course, looking up at me in utter loss, even more so for the changeling P and her not so P.

“Is… is he mostly like this?” I heard the princess ask, which just went completely over my head for obvious reasons.

But I still heard it, so at least one of my senses was paying attention.

I saw Bakuss shake his head from the corner of my eye. “Nope, he is ALWAYS like this, has been since he first arrived. But none of us can really deny that his antics have worked well thus far. At least being around him never gets boring… or predictable… for the better… or for the worse.” He answered as I continued my little self-employed victory dance on the throne.

Feeling smart feels great, doesn’t it? Well, only until someone debunks your idea, or someone else come up with an even better one. If that ever happened then I might actually cry right in front of everyone.
Manly tears of disappointment of course, with sunglasses and some rock music in the background.
Shit, should have told Liu to bring my cell phone back from my room as well.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Liuanda quickly rushed to the west wing of the Palace that housed most of the guest rooms and private chambers here, ignoring some curious stares aimed at her from both servants and the occasional guard who most likely just started their jobs a couple of days back.

How Zebras like that are even allowed to join the Palace guard she will never know. These guards should always stay vigilant and never get themselves distracted by anything. But what does she know, she is just a sergeant after all, with most of the decision-making being handled by those above her.

All of that is irrelevant though, as she just made her way to the two sisters as fast as possible. Why? Well, let’s say the eyes of a madman are a great motivation to do what has to be done.

Who knew that the stare of a man who has seen it all can be so intimidating and… moving? In fact, how is the king even able to show such a look that is normally reserved for those with years of experience? He doesn’t look that old to begin with, but then again Liuanda doesn’t know how old his species can actually get in the first place.

With those thought out of her mind, the young mare continued her gallop through the vast, confusing halls of the Palace.

She soon spotted a pair of guards standing in front a door, which meant she finally reached her destination.

The reasons for the guards’ presence had nothing to really do with keeping an eye on the aforementioned prisoners, but rather to just act as security to any guests that are currently finding residence within the compound. The two sisters could actually go and come as they pleased, though for some reason they didn’t, mostly revolving around the fact that their totem is missing or whatever.

Liuanda greeted the guards as she passed by them. The two stallions swiftly returned the gesture as Liuanda took her position in front of the door and proceeded to knock on it.

There was a moment of silence before a set of hooves could be heard coming closer towards the door. The door slowly opened, revealing a somewhat drowsy looking Steppes behind it.

She rubbed her green colored eyes before addressing the sergeant properly. “What… what is it? Did we somehow do something again while we were trying to sleep, or did I miss something?” The young doe began, giving off a little yawn afterwards.

Liuanda raised an eyebrow at that. “Why in the gods’ names are you so out today? It's in the middle of the afternoon, so why do you seem so tired? All you two do is sit in your room for most of the day.” The young sergeant questioned, giving the doe in front of her an intense look.

Little Steppes just blinked a couple of times before answering. “Well…” She began with a few more blinks to get her eyes re-adjusted.” Me and my sister had a little… well, mishap with your kind’s so-called “toilets”. At first, everything seemed to be ok until my sister suddenly decided to see where and how all of the waste disappears after pouring a bucket of water over it. One thing lead to another, and she even went so far as to use her magic to get her answers…. Well…” She paused again with an awkward glance to the side. “Well, turns out that her long absence of magic caused her to be a tad bit rusty when in comes to casting spells… which, in turn… well… turned into something that was a bit too much.” She continued before offering the now suspicious guard a sheepish smile, before saying. ”She kinda blew half of it apart while also being busy for the whole day trying to clean it up… well… mostly hiding it, to be honest.” She finally admitted.

Liu just frowned, though not for the reasons that Little Steppes was probably thinking about. “Well, for starters, how in heaven's name IS your sister even capable in casting spells in the first place? Isn’t the nethicite that I gave one of the guards supposed to neutralize that? Like how it's supposed to?” The mare asked, feeling and sounding quite agitated with this fact.

Little Steppes, on the other hand, just looked at the mare confused. “Huh? But I thought that the king himself as said that the present of your friend is no longer needed here. He gave the stallion an “Early year vacation” as he called it before sending him off.” She answered, which in turn caused Liu to frown.

“Of course the king did.” Liu quietly muttered.

“Well anyway, go get your sister off her blankets and get a move on. The king himself has requested your presence.

Something related to your Idol by the sounds of it…” She tried to explain before a set of galloping hooves swiftly stopped her.
Liu flinched at the same time as Little Steppes in front of her as the rather excited face of Mystic suddenly appeared behind her.

“Did I hear the Idol? Does it mean that your king ACTUALLY knows where the idol finally is? That is great! About time, really, as this quiet and doing-nothing lifestyle I have here is rather… tedious and boring. A Gazelle like me belongs out into the steppes, in not in some… overly-luxurious Palace.” Mystic Gem announced loudly which in turn caused her sister to cringe.

But before Liu could even say anything, the super-hyped doe did it for her… or rather moved past her while ushering her sister to come along.

“Well, hurry up there, sis! Time's a-wastin’, the sooner we can get the Idol back, the faster we are out of here and back to the great Savannah steppes to the south. I can’t wait to see our tribe again after THIS debacle.” She shouted.

Liuanda just groaned before shaking her head.” What in the gods’ names am I even doing sometimes? No matter if the king himself is present or not, complete ridiculousness and chaos just seemed to exist on every corner you look. Why… the hell I would know?” She again muttered.

She was right, now with the king being… well the king, his presence no longer was required for the world to just go haywire at whatever area of the world he just happened to be in.

Maybe the saying that he could be Sheogorath in a mortal form might actually have some merits here. But then again, only time will tell.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“They don’t know, they will never know. They will never understand, and they will never accept… for that, they shall all pay.” A menacing voice chanted.

A set of rapidly moving hooves could be heard echoing through the darkly-lit halls. No other soul was present within these paths besides one, a large and long shadow being cast onto the ground by the same being.

The being in question looked ragged, crazy maniacal eyes of green were gazing through the darkness that this hall bestowed. Being the only true source of light as it continued forwards.

The being continued to mutter to itself, mostly in rage, anger, and a tiny hint to confusion as well. Eventually, the long hall stopped as it stood in front rather large double doors with two fully-clad guards standing in front of it, their jet-black armor blending well with the already existing darkness around them. Only the shimmering blue eyes peeking out of the faceguard being the only source of color on them.

The being just glared at those two, its eyes shining green which in turn forced the guards in front of it to open the doors and step away, allowing the being to go through. The portal immediately closed afterwards, forcing this being to be alone once more in a space void of anyone but itself.
It laughed to itself after a faint glow on the other end of the room greeted it. Its horn lighting up, causing whatever light source on the other end to go brighter as well. It approached this object, the runes on it getting slightly brighter as it got closer and closer to it.

The being frowned at the thing within its reach, its horn lighting up even more as the runes on the object did the same. A pair of glowing eyes emerged on the object, glowing in a brilliant blue light as the rest of the runes surrounding it.

Whispers started to emerged from its form, angry and demanding whispers that the being ignored. Its frown turning into a snarl of rage as a stream of pure magical energy suddenly emerged between those two. Starting from the object’s large gem above its eyes and leading towards the jagged horn of the being.

The being suddenly laughed, trying to drain out the whispers in her head.

“Yes, that is it, feed me with the rest of your magical essence. I will need all of it in order to finally rid myself of all of my problems. Lies have spread among my kind and traitors housed by demons are running amok among me. I will smite them all, and I will take them all. The power, the magic, the….” It cringed a bit. “ voices… they will be quelled and they will submit as well. All will submit. All will obey, all will be mine… or die, die, die, DIE.” She chanted, repeating the same phrase over and over again.

The whispers in her mind grew stronger and stronger the more she drew, forcing her to laugh and chant louder in order to drown them out.

The laughter stopped and the room swiftly return to its unnatural darkness.