Alright, Shimmer. Just breathe in … and out. In … and out. You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna go back to Equestria, back to home. You’re gonna see Princess Celestia for the first time in forever since being an over confident doofus and she’s totally not going to turn into Nightmare Sun and murder you the second you and Twilight come through the porta-
“-unset!” a voice calls. “You ok? You’re looking pretty nervous there, and panicking is usually my thing.”
I chuckle at that, standing outside in a calm summer afternoon breeze, which, mind you, is completely unlike yours truly at the moment. The slight wind present rustles my hair, swatting a good few strands across face. Some of the blown locks end up stuck in my mouth, because of course that would happen. I spit them out before replying.
“Yeah.” Pausing for a brief moment before continuing, I nervously crack my knuckles against my jacket sleeves. “Yeah, I’m fine Twilight. Just a bit … nervous is all. I mean, it’s just been so long since I’ve been to Equestria, back to … well, home. And I guess I’m just a liiittle on edge about seeing Princess Celestia again, much less meeting her. I’ve got no idea how that reunion’s gonna go or if she’s forgiven me or if she even wants me back or-”
A purple hand finds its way onto my shaking shoulders, interrupting my panicked ramblings.
“Sunset, she helped set this whole thing up with me for you. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t want you back, but you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can just hang out at your place or something, and I’ll tell Celestia to call it off for now. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Ugh, man, why does she have to be such a good friend?
I turn my head to look at her, lips parting to sigh outwardly. “No, Twilight. I’ve needed this for a long time. And besides, you came out all this way from Equestria just to see me out and back home. Heck, you even arranged a whole homecoming dinner party thing for me! It’s the least I can do after all you’ve done for me, no matter how nervous I might be.”
At that, she sighs and smiles sadly at me, just as I knew she would. It’s funny, despite how long it’s been since we’ve really talked face to face, we can still pretty much read each other like a book, which I’m sure she’s totally fine with considering she’s … well … ya know.
The hand lifts, rests against her side, then falls still before she responds. “Alright, Sunset. If you say you’re alright, I’ll believe you. But don’t have my signature Twilight breakdowns when we get there alright?”
I giggle again, but, not really knowing what to say after, an awkward silence settles between us for a moment, allowing for only the sounds around us to be heard. I relish in the moment for a while, listening to the sounds of chirping birds, rustling leaves, and even the milling about of people across the street, knowing that soon enough, there would be only the sounds of the Canterlot Castle and it’s inhabitants to comfort me.
Eventually, though, my brief period of respite ended. “So, uh …” Twilight awkwardly scratched the back of her head for a moment, staring at me with that signature goofy smile of hers. “You ready?”
I sucked in the last few breaths on Earth I’d have for a while. “Yeah, Twilight. I’m ready.”
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I steeled myself, looking to Twilight for some sense of composure before stepping forward. As the sun set on the dawn of the earth around me, colours of red, orange, and yellow dancing in mixed hues across the sky, I took another step towards the portal, the sounds of my footsteps echoing off the concrete below. I continued to move forward, and before I knew it, I stood in front of the statue, feeling the cool of the shadow cast by it above me.
Before I stepped forward again, I looked back to Earth one last time, taking in the front of the currently vacant Canterlot High School, now out for summer break, before turning again to Twilight. She looked at me questioningly, wearing a look as if to ask me if I was really ready for this. In response to a wordless question, I wordlessly answered, nodding, and turned again to the portal, stepping forward one final time.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The first thing I felt was the ground giving out from below me, sending my mind into a panic mode before the vertigo set in, only exacerbating my freaked out brain. The next thing I felt was my face smashing against a polished floor and wind rushing out from my throat.
“Oof!”
I lied there for a moment, rubbing a forehoof against my forehead, feeling the early throbs of a headache setting in. I was about to try and stand up before the familiar voice of Twilight called out to me, sounding rather frantic.
“Sunset, are you ok?! You hit your head really hard there!”
I groaned, pushing myself up on my hooves before replying, my voice coming out as more of a breathy wheeze more than anything. “Uuuungh, yeah, Twilight. I’m … huff ... fine. Head hurts a bit, though? Might need something for that later …”
I was about to fall down again before a purple blur rushed to my side, standing me up with it’s forehooves. Eventually my vision cleared enough for me to see it, recognizing the face of Twilight Sparkle.
“I’ve never had that bad a reaction to coming through the portal. Even when I came through the ... last time.” I sighed the last words out with a grimace, letting guilt etch into my face as the memories of the Fall Formal came flooding back.
Twilight, noticing my distress, pulled me into a one hoof hug. “Sunset, it’s fine. You’ve changed. I’ve forgiven you, Celestia's forgiven you. But ... as for the other thing? I have no idea. My only guess is that your distress just got the better of you.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, uh …” I trailed off, scraping my hoof against the reflective marble floor, not really wanting to know the answer to my question. “When are we going to meet with Princess Celestia, exactly?”
From the right of us, a door opened.
I froze.
“Oh. Now’s when.”
Author's Note
Hey, everybody. Hope you enjoyed the first part of the fic here. It's my first time attempting to write fanfiction in a long time, so I'd appreciate as much feedback as possible!
Stay tuned for the next part, where I'm sure a certain goddess and her old protege will have a very emotional conversation.
The air around me dropped still, growing colder in clash with the warm, sunset colored hues pouring in from the open, marbled doors, of which a very familiar form stood. I sucked in the last vestiges of breath that I could, knees locked into place as the polished, practically reflective floor beneath suddenly grew as cold and fragile as ice, feeling as if it would crack and shatter at even the slightest breath.. As that icy, dark fear and doubt so familiar gripped my heart, my ears popped and all sound escaped from the room, leaving but a vacuum with only the piercing shrill of ringing to comfort me.
In my daze of ice and shadow, an arrowhead of sunlight and musical tones pierced through the still air, the motherly familiarity calming my body and unlocking my viced limbs.
“Hello, Sunset Shimmer.”
The figure in the doorway crystallized, and I found myself openly staring at my once beloved mentor, eyes clearly ripe with panic and apprehension. Her form, unfazed by the drowning colors of early evening outside, reflected with a pristine white brilliance, pastel colored locks of hair flowing out from her crown and reflecting against the crystalline walls around. Despite my fear of this exact moment, I steeled and replied with as iron a conviction as human- … ponily possible? I don’t know, I’ve been on Earth too long.
“H-hello, y-your highness.” I squeaked.
Well shoot, that came out a lot less confident than I thought.
She chuckled and smiled warmly at me, stepping into the room and closer to me and Twilight, who stood beside me in concern.
“Dear Sunset, there is no need to address me by such formalities. I know I’ve had to remind Twilight of this a number of times.”
Her head nodded at the alicorn to my right, whose gaze averted as a slight blush crept to her cheeks.
“S-sorry, um …” I stumbled over my words a bit before finally spitting out the name now so foreign to me. “C-Celestia.”
Her gaze somehow softened more than already was, exuding a look of reassurance and calm, though it still did little to settle the nerves wracking my body.
“No need for apologies, Sunset, it is quite understandable given our pasts. I’m happy to have you back under this castle’s roof again. Now please, follow me, dinner should be ready very soon.”
At the mention of food, my stomach audibly growled with the force of a dragon. In response, I heard a stifled, undignified giggle slip from Twilight. Annoyed, though amused, and grinning myself, I nudged Twilight’s rib with my elbow, only eliciting further snickers from both Twilight and myself. Maybe even a snort or two.
The moment of levity didn’t last long, though, as we began the march onwards from the room. As me and my companion trotted out behind Celestia, hooves hitting polished marble floor and then soft velvet carpet, I allowed myself to take in my surroundings, eyes flicking about from wall to ceiling.
The place was vast and expansive, as regal and well kempt as I remembered it from my … relative youth. Still, despite the familiarity of the place, many things were different from memory, and the clash of old and new disoriented me slightly. I could tell from our tread that many new wings had been built since I left, though I didn’t know what for. Offhandedly, I mentioned it to Twilight.
“Oh! Yes, the new wings. Well …” She seemed to pause for a breath, and I immediately regretted my decision. She was about to lecture, I could tell. Goddess help me.
“Seeing as you’ve been gone for such a long time, a lot has happened in Equestria. Arcane use and spellcasting progress has been made, as is to be expected, and many many historical world ending events have occurred, don’t ask, the Elements of Harmony and an entire forgotten empire have resurfaced … Like I said, a lot has happened.
“Anyway, as you can probably imagine, stuff like that is gonna require a whole lotta archiving. Although that’s only a few wings, of course. There are plenty others that-”
At that point, I tuned her out, desperately hoping to preserve any last vestiges of sanity I had left. As we trekked forward, my attention was drawn to the sudden light show of various hues reflecting off the ground. Scanning the room to find a source, my eyes landed on several ornately designed widows, their glass stained to form some very familiar shapes.
“Looks like you’re pretty famous around here, huh?”
The alicorn by my side halted her verbal onslaught, finally, to look at me questioningly, before I pointed my hoof up to the stained glass windows. She visibly blushed before responding.
“Oh, those! Haha. Yeah, uh, Celestia had them put in place after me and my friends’ victories and my … ascension. I was never particularly enthused about putting them up all things considered, but she insisted on it, so … there they are I guess?”
“With that kinda dedication, I gotta assume there’s some kinda cult or something about you and your friends at this point?”
She chuckled.
“Hehe, not exactly. Me and my friends are actually a lot less popular than you might think. The only places where we get any real recognition are Canterlot and Ponyville. Rarity’s about the only one of us who gets recognized pretty much, well, everywhere.”
“Yeah, that sounds like the Rarity I know, all right. She’s one of the most popular girls in school back at Canterlot High.”
“Not surprising. Over here, our Rarity’s been setting up her shop all over Equestria, I think her most recent opening was in-”
Twilight was cut off by Celestia, who had suddenly stopped pacing to stand in front of a wide set of doors.
“I hate to interrupt you two, but we’ve arrived.” A pause, before Celestia rose her hoof to push open the immeasurably tall doors. “Sunset?” she offered, seemingly in a gesture for me to enter.
I stepped forward, thanking her as I passed before entering the most decadent dining hall I’ve ever seen. The floor beneath my fetlocked hooves was that of velvet, golden threads woven into the fabric to form ornate, flowing patterns reminiscent of sunrise. In the middle of the room, lined with dimmed, flickering candles, sat a vast dining table draped with pristine white cloths, yet only three seats, carved from what I assumed was some kind dark mahogany, sat at the table. At that, I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that tonight’s dinner would be a bit more calm than I had expected.
From my probing eyes, Celestia seemed to take notice.
“It’s quite beautiful, isn’t it?” she remarked, a warm smile, radiating the same colors of the room, punctuated the query.
“Yeah, it … it is.”
As Twilight walked up to my side, Celestia again looked to address us.
“Again, dinner should be out shortly. For now, I think a rest from the walk would serve us all well, would it not?”
We both nodded in agreement, before trotting to take our places at the table. As before, Twilight and I sat aside from each other, seeing as Twilight could sense the nervousness I still held. Celestia, meanwhile, sat herself directly across from us, activating only a sliver of her magic, which wrapped itself around a wine glass, floating up to meet her lips for a brief moment. After setting it down, again she spoke.
“So, Sunset.”
I tensed.
“Please tell me, I’m very curious as you can imagine. How have things been for you? I hope well.”
Not exactly the opening question I was prepared for, but okay. I'll shoot.
“Um, for me? Uh … I guess ... I guess they’ve been good? I mean, the, uh, the whole, um, stealing the crown thing wasn’t, don’t get me wrong, ha ha!” The awkward, forced laugh emitted only served to make things worse.
“Of course. But I’ve no doubt you’ve made up for it in spades. You were once my student, as well, after all. I know you are quite headstrong when you put your mind to something.”
“Y-yeah, I guess so … Um, thanks, by the way.”
“It is my pleasure, Sunset.”
After that, the only sounds heard were the light, barely audible tapping of my hind hoof on the floor, Celestia’s sips of wine, and the distant clinking of pots and pans from a hall nowhere seen. Eventually, after the silence, a band of servers paraded from down the hall where I had heard the sounds of kitchenware, all carrying some form of dish. Celestia piped up.
“Ah, I see dinner has arrived. Don’t be afraid to dig in as much as you want, I know I certainly won’t!” she laughed.
As platters and dishes of varying size were set on the table before us, my mouth watered in anticipation. I hadn’t eaten all day, unless you could count an hour old, burn poptart as a meal. As the servers lifted the tops from the platters, I was thankful to be greeted by all vegetables and plants, seeing as, back on Earth, humans didn’t exactly shy away from eating meat, which many times had forced me to bring my own food to Canterlot High.
We all thanked the servers, who left shortly thereafter, before piling food ont our plates. After scarfing down a good dinner’s worth and setting our plates aside for the servers to take back, Celestia again looked to me, wearing a look of deep concern and the slightest hint of sorrow.
“Sunset, I know you’ve been very tense tonight, and I completely understand why. Please, if there is anything I can do to alleviate it, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Guilt etched into my face, but I knew that if I didn’t have the conversation now, things wouldn’t get any better.
“Why are you forgiving me?”
She appeared taken aback by my question, and to the right of me, Twilight sat silent, not wanting to interrupt.
“Because, Sunset, you may have been my student, but you were young. I could not count the number of times I’ve wronged in my years on this world. Even as the ruler of this land, I make mistakes. No one pony is perfect, and neither am I.”
“But what I did was just … it was just … wrong! You were my mentor, my best friend! All you did for me, all you taught me, and I just … threw it away! I was selfish and stupid. I didn’t just make a mistake, I wronged you on purpose. I shouldn’t be forgiven just because I stopped being a jerk. I shouldn’t have been one in the first place!” My words were laced with emotion, anger and fury pouring out from them, though not at Celestia, and my chest tightened as I felt tears brim at the edge of my eyes. I wanted to stop myself, I wanted to cry, I wanted to run away again, but I was too engrossed in my own emotions to quit.
“I left you, I left my family! I don’t deserve any of this! I’m a failure. Worse, I’m a traitor! I … I don’t deserve any of this …” My years of caged emotions trickled off from anger to sorrow, the white heat of my rage cooling as tears slipped down my cheeks. As I looked down at the table cloth in shame, tears dripping off to pool in dark spots on the table, head pounding, and eyes stinging, I felt a hoof touch my shoulder, stilling a shaking that I hadn’t noticed till now.
An iron voice, filled with both conviction and kindness, rang out.
“Sunset Shimmer, it does not matter you did. What matters to me is what you do now, and from what I’ve heard from Twilight, you have more than made up for your past actions. The mere fact that you not only regret what you did, but aimed to better yourself as penance, speaks volumes. I have had many a student before you and Twilight that, even if brilliant, were foolhardy and arrogant, yet refused to change their actions and to better themselves. So please, Sunset, do not let this consume you.”
Still drunk off the drowning mess of words I had expelled just a few seconds ago, I found myself at a loss of what to say. I knew I should say something, but whatever few words I could have thought up died in my throat. Thankfully, Twilight answered for me.
“Hey, um, Sunset …” Her voice was filled with trepidation, like she was afraid of setting me off into another outburst again. “Do you … do you want to just get some rest?”
Not bothering to lift my head up, I croaked out a confirmation.
“Twilight, you do remember where the room is, yes?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Alright. And Twilight, please, keep watch of her, will you?”
“Sure.”
A hoof nudged my left shoulder.
“Hey, Sunset, let’s go. I know where our room is, so just follow me, okay?”
The next few minutes passed by in a blur of marbled floors and velvet carpet, me silently following behind Twilight who had yet to say anything. Eventually, we stopped at a set of doors, which she opened for us.
I took the offer and thanked her, walking into the room where we were to stay for the next three months. The open balcony at the end bathed the room in bright moonlight, blanketing the most comfortable beds I’d seen in years in a sea of silvers and blues. Not even bothering to wash my face of the dried tears, I immediately trotted to the bed and lay down under the covers.
As soon as my body hit the sheets, I almost instantly sunk into them. After scraping by on Earth for so long with nothing to my name but a shoddy, cheap apartment, I was immeasurably grateful to sleep in a clean, comfortable bed for the first time in years. Still, I felt horrible for what happened at the dinner, and I knew I wouldn’t be getting as restful a sleep as I would have hoped. Right before turning over to rest my head on one of the many pillows available, Twilight’s voice rang out from the wall opposite to me.
“Hey, Sunset?”
All I had to offer was a grunt of a response, simply acknowledging her and allowing her to continue.
“I’m sorry about tonight.”
Wait, what?
Turning over again, I looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean you’re sorry? What happened was nothing but my fault. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, at all. I’m the one who was an egomaniacal jerk, I’m the one who stole your crown, I’m the one who nearly destroyed the school! All you’ve done for me is to help me. All I’ve done for you is … worthless.”
“You know that’s not true, Sunset. You’ve done plenty for me, and everyone else back on Earth.”
I laughed, feeling tears welling up in my eyes again. My wounds were still sore from the dinner party, and all I could do was keep opening them up.
“What I do now doesn’t make what I did then any better. I hurt you, I endangered your life, Twilight! Just because I did a couple of things doesn’t make endangering people’s lives any better. I hate what I was, I hate what I still am. I ran away from my home, my friends, my teacher for years for nothing but my ego! I don’t deserve you, or - or any of this! I didn’t just make a mistake, I-I, I am a mistake ...”
The last words choked out of my throat in strangled, shaky sobs, and for a while, I heard no offer of a response. Right before just giving up on tonight, closing my eyes and going to sleep, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Looking up, it was Twilight, whose presence offered me no words, but instead pulled me into a tight hug.
For a while, I lay there in her hooves, bawling my eyes out into her shoulder. She still didn’t say anything, but the embrace she held me in was more than a few words could have ever offered me. Eventually, though, it ended; we could tell it was getting late to still be up. Right before she
left again for her bed, I called out to her in a weak, but no longer drowning voice.
“Twilight?’
She looked back.
“I’m sorry.”
A pause.
“It’s okay, Sunset.”
At that, we again both departed to our beds for the night. Allowing the sheets to swallow me into sleep, I tried my best to ignore all that had transpired tonight, instead shutting my mind off and allowing the cool embrace of the moon to lull me into rest.
Author's Note
Finally, the first chapter's out. It feels weaker to me than the first, but what can ya do?
As always, feedback is appreciated, particularly on the storytelling part.
