tAVROS and GaMzEe go to Ponyville

by TwilightTK

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2550

A crossover between Homestuck and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

After a long night of partying, tAVROS nITRAM and GaMzEe MaKaRa wake up in a totally different world, filled with ponies. None of their morails are around, but after talking to the Mane 6, they learn that moirallegiance is magic.

...

After reading some Homestuck by Andrew Hussie and watching videos by Master Yorgi / Octopimp, I got the idea of this stuck in my head.

...

Some gore in chapter five.

Published 2012-07-05 14:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-06 17:35:42 UTC

Ponyville }:)

"uH,,," groaned Tavros as he awoke from his drunken sleep. "wHAT THE HELL DID GAMZEE AND I DO LAST NIGHT,,," he asked himself. He looked down to see he had a new pair of legs. Robot legs. His wheelchair was missing. So was Gamzee's hive. Gamzee was still asleep, right next to him though. They were in some sort of clearing, bright, nothing like Alternia. Almost like a park.

"uH, gAMZEE, wAKE UP,,," Tavros commanded his friend as he shook him. Gamzee awoke with a yawn, "WhAt'S uP, bRo? WhOa, WhErE tHe MoThErFuCk ArE wE? wHy ThE fUcK dO yOu hAvE lEgS?" asked the clown.

"i DON'T KNOW EITHER," Tavros stated. Both of them got up and started walking around, finally coming up to a sign that said, Ponyville Park. "PoNyViLlE? IsN't ThAt FrOm OnE oF eQuIuS' sHoWs? AbOuT tHe PoNiEs?" asked Gamzee. Tavros reminded him, "gAMZEE, rEMEMBER 'aSK gAMZEE 6' wHEN YOU MET ALL THE COLORFUL PONIES?"

"Oh... YeAh... ThAn LeT's Go!" he said as he walked towards the main town. Tavros followed him.

Since the two trolls were obviously not ponies, they were getting weird looks all through town, some of fright, some of confusion, some of attraction. Lyra Heartstrings, who was obsessed with hands, immediately took notice of Tavros and Gamzee. "Hey! You got... hands!" Frightened, Tavros backed away as Gamzee said, "YoU dOn'T sAy?"

Tavros and Gamzee continued their way until they saw a large tree with windows and doors, Twilight's house, or the Ponyville library. He knocks on the door, adding his honks, "HoNk! HoNk!"

Twilight answered the door, "Oh, sorry, this is a library. You don't have to kno..." Twilight faded out, "Mr. Alien?" she asked, remembering her early experience.

"So, uh, how did you two get here, exactly?" asked Twilight, after sipping from her tea that Spike made.

"wELL, uH, tHAT'S THE THING, wE JUST WOKE UP AND WE WERE HERE,,," stated Tavros, also taking a chug of tea.

"YeAh, AnD nOt To Be MoThErFuCkInG rUdE oR aNyThInG, dO yOu HaVe AnY fAyGo?" asked Gamzee, not digging the tea to well.

"Um, Faygo... I'm not sure what that is, but I bet there's some at the market, though." said an unsure Twilight, never hearing the soda before. With this advice, Gamzee got up and left, trying to get his sweet elixir. Tavros and Twilight continued their conversation.

Search for Faygo :o)

Gamzee Makara walked out of Twilight Sparkle's library, and started walking down the road, immediately seeing ponies walking in all directions. He walked towards the majority of the group, which was heading for the market.

Many ponies were whispering as they saw the tall troll. Again, there were very odd looks given in his direction. Gamzee just chuckled as he walked through. He eventually came up to a market stand selling drinks, the salespony obviously a little frightened by the weird creature.

"HeY, hOw Ya DoInG? dO yOu HaVe AnY fAyGo, MoThErFuCkEr?" asked the troll.

"Uh..." trailed off the pony, "We have Faygo... but only three bottles left..." whimpered the scared mare.

"Oh ThAt'S fInE, i'Ll TaKe ThEm AlL!" he said as he grabbed the bottles.

"That will be... uh... six bits, please?" she asked.

"BiTs, WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS bItS?" asked Gamzee, now confused.

"Uh... it's our currency here in Equestria..." the pony trailed off.

"Oh DaMn, I fOrGoT tO gEt MoNeY! hOlD oN, i'Ll Be RiGhT bAcK!" Gamzee said, as he ran back to Twilight's house.

"uH, sO WE ATE SOME PIES AND GOT HIGH, rIGHT, aND-" Tavros was cut off his explanation as Gamzee came into the room with exclamation; "Yo, TwIlIgHt, Do YoU hAvE aNy BiTs I cAn BoRrOw? I nEeD sOmE tO bUy FaYgO!"

"Um, yeah... here's a few," said Twilight as she opened up her bag and tossed a few of the coins to the troll.

"ThAnKs, MoThErFuCkEr!" said the troll, zooming back off to the market.

Once the salespony saw Gamzee with the bits, she immediately handed the bottles to him and grabbed the coins. She wanted as least contact with the mysterious creature as possible.

On his way walking back to Twilight's, Gamzee was already chugging one of the soda's, a grape flavored. He opened up the door and tossed one of the others, a Redpop, to Tavros.

"So, AnY mOtHeRfUcKiNg IdEa To GeT bAcK tO AlTeRnIa? NoT lIkE i HaTe It HeRe Or AnYtHiNg, EvErYpOnY's ReAl NiCe." asked Gamzee Makara, chugging down his drink.

"Well, Mr. Makara, Tavros explained to me that when you two... um... kissed," Twilight blushed at saying that, "...that it was kind of a magical moment between you two, and... well somehow I guess magic of friendship-"

"FrIeNdShIp?" asked the confused troll.

"uH, bASICALLY IT'S MOIRALLEGIANCE,,," informed Tavros.

"...brought you into here, Equestria, where if there is a magical spark of friendship, it branches from here." finished Twilight.

"MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS... bUt HoW dO wE gEt BaCk?" said Gamzee, partially understanding.

"I guess we're going to visit Princess Celestia." stated Twilight Sparkle.

Visit the Princess }:)

It was the next day. Twilight Sparkle had sent a letter to Princess Celestia about the predicament, and the Princess soon wrote back, saying she'll send a carriage and guards for her to come the following morning. Tavros and Gamzee walked into the carriage, but the guard ponies didn't give them strange looks, as they were trained not to react.

Once they got in the carriage with Twilight, they felt the pegasi lift off, towards Canterlot.

The two trolls woke up as they felt the carriage land on the ground again. Due to the lack of slopor slime in Equestria, the two had troubles falling asleep. They awoke to Twilight opening the carriage door, flushing in a large quantity of sunlight. The three, escorted by the guards, walked out of the carriage and towards the castle nearby.

Other guards opened the large double doors, allowing access to the trolls and pony. Down the long, wide corridor was Princess Celestia, sitting on her royal throne.

"Twilight Sparkle," said the Princess, always happy to see her student, "and if I'm not mistaken, Tavros Nitram and Gamzee Makara?" she asked.

"uH, yEAH," "YeAh, MoThErFuCkEr." they said in unison.

"So, somehow you two got stuck here in Equestria? I am aware of alternate dimensions but I never knew you could access them without a powerful magic source.

"Well, Princess, they said that when they..." Twilight trailed off, realizing Tavros' blushing face.

"KiSsEd... It SpArKeD mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs!" finished Gamzee, waving his hands around.

"Oh! So, apparently any kind of magic works. Let me see if I can send a portal to your planet. Um, what was said planet's name again?"

"uH, aLTERNIA, pRINCESS,,," informed Tavros, "iT'S, uH, aLL DARK AND STUFF,,,"

Princess was trying, but only a few sparks flew, with a very small hole opening, not big enough to fit through. They did hear something on the other side though.

"Wwhat the cod is this?" asked a stuttering Eridan Ampora. "Wwhat? Wwho are you?" asked Eridan as he saw the princess.

The portal shrank into nothing, and than it was gone. "Well, I guess you two are going to be stuck here for a little while," stated Celestia to her two subjects.

"No MoThErFuCkInG pRoBlEm, SiS! hOnK!" exclaimed Gamzee, "bUt, JuSt WoNdErInG, dO yOu HaVe AnY mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoPoR?" asked the clown, wishing to get high again.

"Sopor? Whatever is sopor, Mr. Makara?" asked the confused Princess.

"oH BOY,,," said a frightened Tavros.

"N-nO sOpOr? It'S jUsT mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaCleS..." said Gamzee, now feeling a little sober.

Sober Gamzee :o)

The Princess had rented out rooms for the two trolls to stay the night at the castle, with Twilight Sparkle leaving. Tavros and Gamzee were talking to each other...

"I dOn'T tHiNk I sHoUlD bE aNyWhErE nEaR yOu If I'm SoBeR, tAvBrO." warned Gamzee, holding his arms and shaking.

"uH, dON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, gAMZEE, pRINCESS cELESTIA IS WORKING ON IT,,," cheered up Tavros.

"YeAh... BuT... ugh... damn it." said Gamzee, feeling something in him.

"uH, gAMZEE," asked Tavros.

"HELLO MOTHERFUCKER!" yelled Gamzee in a demonic voice.

"aHHHH!" screamed Tavros, running towards Celestia's royal bedroom, Gamzee in hot pursuit.

Tavros ran into Celestia's royal guards, blocking her door. Princess Luna was talking to them when the troll ran up.

"hELP, pLEASE, gAMZEE IS SOBER!" frantically yelled the small troll. Cowering next to Luna, who was informed earlier about the trolls.

Gamzee ran around the corner and saw the two guards, the Princess, and his friend. "TAVROS! TAVROS!" he yelled in a singing voice. The two guards, both unicorns, levitated Gamzee in the air, leaving him useless as they knew he was a threat.

All the commotion awoke Princess Celestia, who ran out and opened the door to see the sight. Gamzee kept singing.

"GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER DO! I'M HALF CRAAAAAZYYY ALL FOR THE LOVE OF YOU! IT WON'T BE A STYLISH MARRIAGE, I CAN'T AFFORD A CARRIAGE! BUT YOU'LL LOOK SWEET! ON THE SEAT! OF A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWOOOOO! HAHAHAHAHA!" Yelled the insane troll.

Princess Celestia and Luna demanded Gamzee to be thrown in the most secured room of the castle, a dungeon. Very old, very few people were still in it, the only ones were Diamond Dogs and very maniacal murderers or rapists. Gamzee fit just fine in.

It had been only three minutes after Gamzee Makara was locked in the dungeon. Screams were heard, yelling was made. The sound of pain was immense. Ten guards were keeping watch, three of them dared to open the door and see what was going on.

There. Was. BLOOD. Everywhere.

Gamzee was sitting in the middle of the pool of blood, talking to the guards. "hello. HELLO! my name is... gamzee makara... GAMZEE... MOTHERFUCKING MAKARA! and I've been sober for... an hour now... NOT LONG ENOUGH!"

Seeing enough, the guards quickly slammed the door shut and locked it. "What the fuck did I just see?" asked one of them. "What?!" asked the others. Soon there was a knock on the door, added with Gamzee's own sound effects.

"honk motherfucking honk." he said.

"What?" asked one of the guards.

"bring me... TAVROS MOTHERFUCKING NITRAM!" Gamzee yelled through the metal door.

"Sorry, we cannot do that." informed the guard.

"can't. MOTHERFUCKING DO THAT?!" Gamzee yelled, as he punched a hole through the metal door, grabbing the guards neck and started squeezing.

The other guards used their magic to release Gamzee's hand. The strangled guard backed away. He went to request for Celestia's help immediately.

Celestia and the guard were making their way down into the dungeon, when they heard a loud BANG noise. They hurried and saw Gamzee standing among the nine guards, all knocked out or in pain. One had blood spewing out of his neck. Gamzee was beating the shit out of a guard trying to crawl away.

Celestia grabbed Makara and held him in the air, restraining him from doing anything. "BRING ME! TAVROS MOTHERFUCKING NITRAM!" Gamzee commanded again.

The yelling was slightly heard by Tavros, upstairs in his room, worrying. He heard his name, so he walked out of his room and went down into the dungeon. He had no idea what he was about to witness.

Gamzee was thrashing through Celestia's magic, trying to break free, but the magic aura kept a grasp on him. But he all stopped when he heard, "gAMZEE!"

Gamzee looked to see his friend, Tavbro. "TAVROS! TAVROS! GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER DO!" he started to sing again. Celestia opened another portal to Alternia, still very small.

"What iin the fuck ii2 thii2? 2ome kiinda portal?" asked Sollux Captor, seeing the sight on the other side, "What the fuck ii2 thii2- oh no... 2ober Gamzee..." said the frightened troll with his lisp.

The portal was still very small, but the loudness must have arisen Luna, as she came down the stairs running. "CEASE!" and she used her magic as well to help Celestia's portal. The portal grew and widen. The scene changed from Sollux's hive to Gamzee's staring at a few pies of slopor. Gamzee was forced into the portal and landed in his hive, a pie tin halfway fitting in his mouth. He ate some of it, and was about to jump at the portal, than felt woozy.

"uh... ugh... Uh? WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK hApPenEd?" asked the now sane clown as he came back to his senses, but still not aware of his surroundings. Before question, Tavros jumped into the portal to tackle Gamzee.

Return to Alternia }:)

The portal closed as soon as Tavros made it through. Tavros landed on top of his friend, who was now enjoying another pie. "SuP, tAvBrO?" asked the clown.

"uH, nOTHING, yOU DOING GOOD?" the Taurus asked.

"MoThErFuCk YeAh, WhY wOuLdN't I bE? asked the Capricorn.

"oH, uH, nO REASON,,," lied Tavros.

Princess Celestia hurried the injured guards to the hospital, and was right about to seal off the dimension Alternia crossing to Equestria when...

"D--> Nepeta... where are we?" said the strong troll.

":33 > aww we're in Equestria, Equius." informed Nepeta.

"D--> Oh my... I'm going to need a... towel..." said Equius, profusely sweating as he saw Princess Celestia.

Celestia just sighed and walked away.

The Party :o)

Today was a normal day in Alternia. Well... define 'normal'. It was a land of trolls and kids, a dark world. Each troll, a total of twelve, defined their zodiac sign. We'll start with Gamzee Makara, a Capricorn, and Tavros Nitram, a Taurus.

"HeY, TaVbRo," said Gamzee, addressing Tavros by his nickname.

"uH, yEAH?" asked the paraplegic troll, a good friend of Gamzee.

"WaNnA cOmE tO a MoThErFuCkInG pArTy? HoNk!" asked the clown.

"uH, yEAH, oF COURSE, gAMZEE, wHAT TIME?" questioned Tavros.

"RiGhT nOw Is FiNe, MoThErFuCkEr!" exclaimed Gamzee, pushing Tavros' wheelchair towards his hive.

"sO, uH, wHERE IS EVERYBODY, gAMZEE?" asked the cripple.

"WeLl, TaV, i JuSt ThOuGhT tHaT sInCe... WeLl, iT's JuSt A hAnGoUt, I gUeSs." Gamzee explained, trying to not show his feelings for Tavros, which he already knew about.

"oH, uH, wELL, tHAT'S COOL, gAMZEE," Tavros blushed a little bit.

"So, WaNnA hElP a BrO oUt AnD mAkE sOmE pIe?" Gamzee casually asked, filling a pie tin with sopor slime.

The thing about sopor slime is that usually, trolls sleep in it. Gamzee, a stoner, found out that if you eat it, that the slime will get you high. He eats so much of the stuff, that when he becomes sober, he... well, that's not important...

"uH, oF COURSE I'LL HELP, gAMZEE." Tavros agreed.

After baking the pies, Gamzee got out several bottles of Faygo to eat the pie with. Soon enough, Tavros was high, "wHOA, gAMZEE, i FEEL KINDA WEIRD,,," he trailed off.

Gamzee held Tavros. The two were very close friends, or morails, but both did like each other in a... 'special' way. Tavros was just always afraid to reveal it. Tavros looked up at his best friend, and the two kissed each other. Something 'magical' sparked.

For the rest of the party, the two were either making out, getting high, or getting drunk on Faygo. The two eventually fell asleep late at night, holding each other in their arms.