There isn’t really any better place to be than Baltimore. Especially when BronyCon comes rolling into town.What better place could someone go who loves My Little Pony? Well, maybe Vancouver, but for those of us who don’t have passports, it’ll have to do.
Oh yeah, I should probably introduce myself. My Youtube name is Purple Roselyn, and you aren’t getting my real name out of me. I am a fan VA of Rainbow Dash and Granny Smith. I’m a teenager, and today I am going to be a panelist on two panels. One during the day, to talk about how to Voice Act as a whole, especially to the kids. The other one is late, and I haven’t really heard what exactly it’s going to be about. However, my fellow VAs are there, so I’m not going to complain.
Also, it’s like the first time my parents won’t be supervising me. So YAY!
Anyways, I was setting up my shop, because I have stuff to sell, too. Plushes, T-shirts, other tourist-y stuff. All with my kick-ass OC, the Purple Pegasus with a darker Purple mane. Just all the purple.
After a few hours, I go to my panel, and tell a bunch of kids about how to be a Voice Actor. Stuff like practice, trigger phrases, and finding out your vocal range. All sorts of mundane stuff. I’m just glad Lost was there. Otherwise I would have been totally lost. FREAKING PUNS!
Afterwards, I met up with the other people who were going to the late panel. And I slowly start to realize what kind of panel it is.
When one is stuck with TheLostNarrator, Magpiepony, Scribbler, Emogak, and Guti, you get either no swearing because kids are present, or some sort of cuss-off to see who could fit the most curses in a paragraph while still making sense, with Scribbler as the ref.
In other words, I was fucked (is that how you use that word?).
So, we were hanging out all day, spewing random stuff about our lives that probably should not be said. I decided to ask about the panel. “So, what exactly is the panel tonight about?”
Scribbler, ever the polite one, answers in her British accent “Why, it’s going to be like one of Lost’s livestreams. We’re going to be doing fun stuff, laughing all the way, and drinking alcohol.”
“BEEEEEER! OOHOOHOOHOOHOOH!” Guti yells, then does his trademark air-horn noise.
I shift nervously. “Ummmm…you do realize that I can’t drink, right? So why am I here?”
“Because we need someone there not absolutely fucking smashed to get us all to the fucking hotel!” Lost said. Ever generous with her use of expletives.
I groan in frustration.
“Fuck all ya bitches, it’s TheLostNarrator!”
I was pumped. We had just begun the panel, I had just been announced to the crowd of all adults. Wearing assorted MLP shit and stuff.
I sat down next to my girlfriend Mag, and leaned in close to the microphone. “Hey guys, you ready for some adult only content?”
The crowd roars. I start laughing. This is going to be fun.
“Guti, what’s it like only having 7,000 subscribers?” Someone in the crowd asked me.
“Well, it makes me realize that being a male VA in MLP is incredibly hard. Since everyone in the show is a girl, I can’t do a lot of roles. That’s why I would rather have fun hanging with Lost here, since she is the funniest gal I know.”
“Scribbler, how many people who talk to you on the street try to imitate your British accent?”
“Hmmmm…Well, more than half attempt, and I’ve only met about three Americans who can do a decent accent. And none of them are sitting at this table.”
Lost looks at me incredulously. “Now, I know I’m fucking terrible, but I’m surprised that Kago or Purple can’t do a decent one.”
Purple laughs. “I could do one, but every time I get started, I just start to laugh so hard I can’t keep it up!”
Emogak, meanwhile, sighs. “Lyra isn’t British, neither is Twilight, thus I don’t care.”
“Lost, will you ever play Quiplash on a livestream?”
I look side to side at my compatriots. “Maybe someday, but I don’t have anything planned like that.”
Purple does a massive spit take with her water. “I’d watch it. Or be in it. Either or.”
“Mag, could you kiss Lost right now?”
I smile in what I hope is a sultry way. “You bet. C’mere, Losty!”
Lost, always hating PDA, starts to walk away. “No. Fucking no! Do not make me run away!”
My voice goes somewhere between playful and sensual. “The doors are locked. The fans are waiting. Come on, just give it to me.”
In a surprising moment of brilliance, Lost grabs Purple and holds her in front of her. “I have a fucking shield! You wouldn’t run over a teen to kiss me, would you?”
“Lost, just do it.” Scribbler says in her deadpan.
“Yeah, give us all some of that sweet lesbian action!” Guti the pervert cheers.
I smile sweetly. “You heard the man. Pucker up!”
Lost sighs, releases Purple, and kisses me. I can tell she’s still freaking the fuck out (her words, not mine), but she puts her all into it.
Thirty seconds later, and we finally release. Panting, I look out at the crowd. “Was that good enough?”
Several wolf whistles are my reply. Lost’s cheeks are a deep, fiery red. I laugh. The alcohol must me getting to us.
“Purple, when you first realized that you would be with those five on this panel, what did you think?”
I chuckle weakly. “To be perfectly honest, I was pretty sure I would be learning how to use the word ‘fuck’ properly.”
The crowd starts laughing. Lost leans up to the microphone. “It isn’t that fucking hard. You just fucking interrupt your fucking sentences with the word ‘fuck’ and let the fucking shits and giggles happen.” That really got the crowd roaring.
Not one to step down from a challenge, I reply. “So if I was talking hoping my fucking family doesn’t fucking watch this fucking panel, I would just fucking insert it wherever the fuck I want?”
By now, a few members of the crowd are choking they’re laughing so hard. Lost nods. “I have trained you well, young padawan.”
I clap and whoop. “YES! Mission accomplished, I don’t care what happens next!”
“Emogak, what’s it like running 3 channels?”
“Well, keeping them separate is the biggest issue. Also, making sure to upload content to all three constantly is a real struggle. But the money makes it worthwhile.”
Lost nods. “Even keeping track of two channels, with TheLostExtras, is a bit of a struggle, since sometimes I should be editing, but instead I stream Skyrim.”
How long was this panel supposed to go? I was starting to get tired. I glanced at my phone and saw it’s 11:00. We’ve been answering questions for about 3 hours now. I’ve drank several bottles of water, and the rest of the panel has probably drank more beer than that. I’m starting to nod off.
Then, I hear an annoying beeping. Really annoying. The kind that pierces the ears. The kind that gets really old really quickly.
The kind that is usually some sort of warning.
Apparently, even in their drunken state, the rest of the panel can hear it. And more than a few members of the audience.
“What the fuck is that?” Lost asks.
Scribbler has put on her thoughtful look. “Hell if I know. I can’t even tell where it’s coming from.”
I look around, then I look under the table. I see a bright LED screen with 00:03 on it. 02. Fuck.
“TAKE COVER!!!” I yell to the crowd. Then, my whole world turns black. With several stars.
