Never Too Much of a Good Thing

by dracedomino

Rating: mature
Tags: Rarity (EqG), Original Character, Romance, Equestria Girls, Sex
Length: 5312

Rarity has been working as a high class prostitute after class. Why? Because she's too beautiful to be anything but high class. One particular evening she receives a request from a very special client...

Oh, darling, to be beautiful and fashionable just isn't enough! One also has to be well off! To that end, Rarity has made some serious bank selling herself after class. But she's no common alley prostitute; oh no no! She's a dignified lady that comes at a dignified high price, and she always tends to take the reigns. On this particular evening, Rarity spends some time with a new male client that can only afford the very basic of her services: a few tender touches from the finest fingers in town. But it's what comes after that truly sends Rarity through the roof: a mystery client! And a lady, at that! Who could this mystery client be? Will she respect Rarity for the ageless beauty that she is?! And if doesn't, how couuuuuuuuld she?!

This story was a winner of one of my Patreon polls.

Tags: M/F, F/F, Prostitution, Gentle Femdom, Edging

Published 2017-01-12 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-12 00:20:01 UTC

Never Too Much of a Good Thing

Never Too Much of a Good Thing
-By Drace Domino

There were a lot of eighteen year old prostitutes in the city, but none of them were quite so high class as Rarity. Her rates were exorbitant but for that enormous payday she offered the very finest of services, all delivered in one of the most glorious packages someone could expect. The smoothest skin with the tiniest pores, the softest hair that shimmered like silk, the very sweetest of perfumes to tickle one’s senses, and of course...the clothes. Darling, the clothes! Any whore off the street could slip into a pair of fishnets and a miniskirt and catch a few horny eyes, but when one hired Rarity they hired nothing short of a fashion experience. Whether it was a full evening where she was expected to hang on the arm of a client and make them look good, or simply drop by their hotel room discretely for a fun romp, she always wore the very best styles of her own design.

Lace and silk and leather were used with perfect precision when it came to Rarity’s specialized escort services, and she delighted in the fact that she not only left her clients exhausted and spent but simply marvelling at the beauty they had brushed across. With a gentle hand wrapped in fine satin she could get a man off even harder than his wife with her entire body, and in the past she had been begged for permission to cum on her thighs across her enchantingly dark nylons. Tsk, tsk, darling, soiling the beautiful fabrics always cost extra.

Rarity had already made a scene that evening as she arrived at a four star hotel, tapping her way through with high heels that made her look a few inches taller than she was. Though her head was covered in a wide brimmed purple hat with elegant blue lacing around the rim she was otherwise nothing but pure spectacle; a low cut dress that left her front and back both scandalously revealing and a pair of thigh-high blue stockings that gripped smoothly along her legs. Her dress was slit up both sides and was so utterly revealing that men from dozens of feet away strained to see if they could catch a glimpse of her pantyline; the poor things would probably faint if they knew that particular garment wasn’t part of her ensemble for the evening. Everywhere she stepped she drew hungry gazes from both men and women; either appreciative of her glorious figure or simply the sheer style she exhumed. And the scent she left behind from her sweet perfume and her floral shampoo? The breath of angels, if she did say so herself.

Everyone that saw her walk through the hotel that evening knew what she was, even if they suspected different things. Some accurately penned her as a high class prostitute; an expensive whore, but a whore nonetheless. Others simply assumed she was some vain celebrity, there only to show off the sort of beauty one woman could contain. They were both right, and with every step she savored the knowledge that she was indeed both of those things. It wasn’t until she was in the elevator that she drew out her cell phone, speaking casually into it after dialing her...coordinator.

“Coco, dear, did Mr. Blythe’s payment come through?” She asked, casually. While she waited for a response she gazed along the nails of her opposite hand, studying them to ensure their perfection.

“Yes, ma’am, all two thousand.” The voice of her assistant came over the other line, cheerful and happy with a job well done. “He only paid for the basic package, he said the full service was a little too expensive.”

“Well, darling, we can’t expect everyone can afford luxury.” Rarity cooed softly, and tucked one of her hands into the front flap of her purse. Already she was pulling free a pair of silk gloves, elegantly sliding her fingers into them while she continued. “But Rarity always ensures her clients get their money’s worth. I’m sure Mr. Blythe will be satisfied.”

“No doubt, ma’am!” Coco continued sweetly. “Oh, and there’s one more thing. You had another request come through a few minutes ago, someone’s at the hotel but only for tonight.”

“Oh, dear.” Rarity merely chuckled, and fanned herself as if anyone was watching. “I am so dreadfully in demand, aren’t I? I trust you quoted him the ‘long night’ rate?”

“Well, I…” Coco’s voice stammered a little, as the girl worked at collecting her thoughts. “I mean I did, and they only have five hundred. But it’s not a man, Miss Rarity. It’s a woman.”

“A woman?” Rarity quirked her brow thoughtfully at that, and finished sliding on her gloves. Elbow-length purple silk down each one of her arms, matching the tint of her hair and gripping her like a second skin. She flexed her fingers and pondered to herself, debating the other job that was available to her. Usually the second client of an evening would have to pay an extra thousand dollars for her “fitting them in,” so to speak, and that was on top of her usual high rates. Five hundred dollars typically wasn’t even enough to pay for a few minutes of kissing. Still… “Coco, dear, did you see a picture? Is she attractive?”

“Yes, Rarity.” Coco chimed back over the line. “Very. I could send you a picture if you li-”

“No, dear, that won’t be necessary. I do enjoy being surprised.” Rarity laughed softly, just as the elevator began to open up. She clicked out with her heels and made a sharp turn, heading towards the room number for Mr. Blythe. “Tell her Rarity will indeed meet her for the five hundred. It’s her lucky day. But be a dear and let her know that I’ll be expecting some reciprocation, will you?”

“Of course, Miss Rarity!” Came the immediate response. “She’ll be very happy to hear that. I’ll text you her room number when you’re done with Mr. Blythe.”

“A lamb as always, Coco. Kisses!” Rarity chirped up sweetly, and even made a few tender smooching noises towards the end of the phone. Coco Pommel, her faithful assistant, was the only one that didn’t have to pay for kisses. By the time Rarity slipped her phone back into her bag and made her way to Mr. Blythe’s door she had put her evening encounter out of mind; a sweet discounted evening with a pretty lady would be a nice change of pace, but for now her mind had to be on her current client.

“...basic package.” Rarity rocked back and forth on her heels, before moving up a hand to knock on the door. “I do hope you’re ready for the most thrilling handjob of your life, sir.”

“Now tell me, darling, doesn’t that feel good?” Rarity cooed no more than ten minutes later, a coy smile pressed against her lovely lips. The muted murmur that escaped from her client’s mouth was all the answer that she needed, and it was enough to draw a delightful little giggle from the back of her throat. “Mhmm, I certainly bet it does. Glad you’re enjoying yourself, dear.”

Mr. Blythe was a handsome older man; definitely the sort that would have no particular problem landing an eighteen year old on his own merit. Especially if he had “Rarity Escort Services” money laying around, it would naturally be easy for him to wine and dine a pretty young thing for a much more involved evening. Part of the appeal of the young lady’s services; however, was full and total discretion. Rarity and Coco never told a peep about the elegant high class prostitute’s clients, and as a result wealthy married men were typically the most frequent. Mr. Blythe’s wedding ring was a clear sign that he fell into that category, and Rarity could only imagine that his wife had been holding out on him. The poor dear; he was practically ready to burst from the very moment she had laid her hand on him!

That same hand that was now wrapped gently around his member, stroking him slowly up and down. Covered in that smooth and silky purple glove, she kept a grip around his shaft that was neither too firm nor too loose, a perfect balance to keep ahold of him while at the same time giving his length room to throb and grow. He had already stiffened up quite considerably since she had wrapped those beautiful fingers around him, and she was utterly confident there was more to be enjoyed. At the moment Mr. Blythe was laying flat on his back with his hands up on his chest; folding his fingers together and staring up at the ceiling. Whether the reason he didn’t look down to Rarity was because he felt guilt over cheating on his wife or simply because he didn’t think he could hold himself back if he saw her was inconsequential; all that mattered to the fashionista was the work at hand, so to speak.

Slow and steady pumps of her hand came accented with outside stimuli; the warm breath of an eighteen year old girl as she pursed her lips and blew across his tip. Rarity was a master of the long tease; able to stretch an older man’s climax out to lengths he never knew he could last, to make him hard and stiff and keep him that way until she was finished milking him. Sure, there were times that men hired her for a quick fuck or a messy blowjob, and she had certainly obliged during those encounters. Heck, she even had a special mascara that she wore when she knew she’d be getting the “rough” treatment, since boys did so very much seem to enjoy the sight of it rolling down her otherwise flawless cheeks. But it was clients like Mr. Blythe that she enjoyed almost as much as company of fine, sophisticated ladies.

He laid there. He moaned, he shivered, and he sighed happily...all of it while giving control over to her. Over to the woman that called the shots; no matter her age, no matter her profession. He was wise enough to lay there while a teenaged whore half his age made him squirm, and as far as Rarity was concerned that sort of wisdom was to be lauded and rewarded. Rewarded with a gentle hand, a pair of pursed lips giving him tiny gusts of warmth, and the soft, sensual voice of a truly elegant woman.

“Cum for me, darling.” She cooed sweetly, and licked her lips as her brow gently lifted. “Show Rarity the beauty inside of you.”

It was all Mr. Blythe needed for encouragement. The handsome older gentleman tilted his head up so he could see the glorious fashionista there at the edge of the bed, tenderly stroking him off with a firm grip around his member. He had never witnessed his own member at quite such a size and it was purely thanks to Rarity’s affections, always able to inspire men to greater lengths than otherwise expected. A shudder ran through him as the tender and slow paced handjob finally drew him into a peak, and his voice broke into a thundering moan that filled the room around them. Rarity’s eyes turned towards his member and she quirked a coy little smile, one hand moving forward just before his peak rushed to the forefront of the room.

A single fingertip; elegant and smooth with the silken fabric of her gloves, pressed squarely overtop the tip of his member. Her other hand held his shaft firmly to ensure that no matter how much it throbbed and squirmed that it didn’t escape her touch, and she kept her fingertip perfectly positioned to stem the tide of his squirt. Every motion with Rarity was precise and calculated and the man’s climax was no different, and underneath Rarity’s gaze she watched as his cum rushed to his tip only to meet an immediate slowdown. Instead of squirting all over the place in some sort of unruly mess Mr. Blythe was instead forced into a slow and steady milking of his member, his cum leaking down around the sculpt of his cockhead while it oozed from the tip. Every ounce that he offered; and it was indeed copious, pressed right against Rarity’s tender finger before gliding down his shaft. It coated his flesh, soon overcame Rarity’s gloved hand as it gripped him, and started to pool at his lap.

“Oh my, dear. So wonderfully much. I imagine if it’ll ever stop!” Rarity cooed in delight as she watched Mr. Blythe continue to cream, knowing full well that it was her control and her delicate fingers that were drawing out his orgasm. It was partly for the sake of her own outfit and her wonderful hair that she slowed the pace of his peak, but moreso even for him. It made his climax drag out, extend even longer than he had imagined, making sure that he received every second of pleasure he could for his money. When his cock had finally stopped spasming within Rarity’s grip the young woman cooed sweetly, and she released his member with a gentle smile playing on her lips.

Whether or not Rarity wanted to taste the flavor of his cream was inconsequential; he hadn’t paid for that extra service and she wasn’t about to offer it up for free. But as she stood up at the edge of the bed she pulled her hands together, working free of her gloves while she allowed webbing of thick spunk smear between them. When she finished she pinched the edges of those purple gloves and lowered them down to Mr. Blythe; dropping them in his lap right there adjacent to his softening member.

“A gift, dear.” She gave him those cum-stained gloves with a smile, and a coy look playing on her lips. “A souvenir of when you had the insight to purchase the services of the very best. Enjoy them, won’t you?”

Mr. Blythe certainly would enjoy them later on that evening; once his already thundering orgasm had subsided and he had a chance to catch his breath. He was simply overwhelmed in that instant, the poor thing! His cheeks were flushed, his body was weary, and he could do little more than nod gently to Rarity as he laid there exhausted and spent. It was a good thing that Coco had already processed his payment; he didn’t look anywhere near in a proper state to provide his credentials.

Rarity blew Mr. Blythe a kiss; pressing her warm lips to her now-exposed palm and whisking it over towards the older gentleman. When he returned home he’d be able to kiss his wife and hug his children with the knowledge that he only received a handjob from a teenaged girl, and it had gone no further than that. His restraint was purely financial driven, but still...when one was scavenging for a moral rope to cling to, one couldn’t be picky. Rarity simply spun on a heel as she headed towards the door once more, her first task of the evening completed and a soft hum to her voice. She fished one hand into her purse to pull free her phone, already wondering if Coco had sent her the proper location for her next visit.

Only six rooms down; convenient. She wouldn’t even have to switch floors. With a soft smile Rarity wrapped her hand around the doorknob, gave one last appreciative glance and smile to Mr. Blythe, and stepped back outside into the hall. She was a busy woman that evening, and so very in demand.

But then, wasn’t Rarity always in demand?

Another client, and another door. Rarity took one moment to fix her hair before slipping into a fresh pair of elbow-length purple gloves, sighing contently at the silk that gripped her hands. She knocked on the door with a tender grip around the front knocker, and then patiently awaited the arrival of her evening client. Excitement was already running through her, and she was nearly at the point of goosebumps on her flesh. It had been too long since she had enjoyed a proper evening with a lady sophisticated enough to desire her, and she always appreciated good taste in women. The handjob that she had given Mr. Blythe had certainly aroused her; she wouldn’t of done such a job if she wasn’t a ravenously horny young woman, but the promise of a paid evening with a beautiful woman? There was no excitement quite as high as that. Sweet and gentle kissing, affectionate petting, girl talk, and maybe even some fashion tips! What fun she was about to have!

And when the door to the hotel room opened in response to her knock, Rarity’s flesh went even whiter than usual. Her eyes shot open wide and she took a step back on one of her heels; nearly stumbling from the surprise. Her voice filled the hall with a noise of profound shock, so loud and so sudden that she likely alerted everyone on the floor with her overdramatic response.

“Y-You?!” She gasped, fighting so many things running through her at the moment. “But...But how?!”

“Oh, please, darling.” The Rarity standing in the doorway responded, and gave a delightful laugh. “You don’t really think Princess Twilight wouldn’t tell everyone in Ponyville stories about you, do you? Dear, are you all right? Do you require a fainting couch?”

She certainly looked like she did. Rarity stood there staring at...well, herself, or at least the version of herself from Ponyville. In coming through the portal she had transitioned to a human form much in the same way Twilight Sparkle had during her visit, and now she stood before Rarity like a perfect mirror wearing slightly more revealing clothing. As she waited there in the doorway she was wrapped in a comfortable and elegant bathrobe that was tied loosely around the stomach, but otherwise left open and exposed. The sides of the robe covered up her breasts and the tail of it draped around her ankles, exposing her bare white abdomen and one slender leg peeking out from the edge of the fabric. The look on her face was one of absolute confidence despite the unusual circumstances, and unlike her human counterpart, she had the advantage of mentally preparing for what was to come. It was that preparation that led to her smoothly reaching out to take the hand of her other self, and gently tug her into the hotel room beyond.

The door shut tight behind them, and Rarity began to embark on an unusual form of self-exploration.

It felt like minutes before Rarity could think straight, forced to bend her thoughts through the stunned haze that had come over her. The sight of her other self was surprising enough, but to comprehend it underneath the weight of her evening activities? For a woman that was otherwise so very in control during these little business trips, she was left at much more of a loss than she was accustomed to. It was that stunned thought process that made it so easy for the other version of her to lead her within, to sit her down on the edge of the bed, and to wrap an arm warmly around her waist. She didn’t put up a single word of complaint or protest as her other self gripped one of her knees and paid her a bevy of compliments; words that she would no doubt attribute to herself under any typical circumstances. Beautiful, radiant, glorious, elegant...all words Rarity could look in a mirror and repeat without the slightest trace of guilt. When the other Rarity moved in to press her mouth against her doppelganger's throat; however, a whole new level of pleasure shuddered through her.

As if time suddenly caught up to her and crashed against her like a tidal wave Rarity broke into a sudden moan; her hips convulsing forward as she felt a full shockwave echo across her flesh. She found herself lifting her head to give her other self even more of her pale white throat to kiss, and for the first time she could experience her thoughts working through the haze of what was going on. The scent of the other Rarity was naturally familiar and yet just faintly different; so close in nature that only the true expert could tell the difference. And those lips...was that what it felt like to be kissed by her? She should be charging more, she was clearly fantastic at it!

“Oh...oh, I…” She swallowed nervously, her hands lowering to fidget at her lap. The other Rarity was still fondling her knee while kissing at her neck, and showed no signs of stopping despite her other self’s attempt at small talk. “I...I don’t even know what I should say, or what I should call you...g...good gracious…”

“Rarity, darling, I think you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be.” Her other self cooed, just as her tongue slipped down the slope of her throat. “When are you ever going to get a chance to make love to someone this beautiful? Feel these flawless lips on your? Have these legs wrapped around your head?” She slipped one of her legs out and held it forward, as if showing it off. “You do know that everyone says we have the finest legs, don’t you?”

“Th...That’s true.” Rarity swallowed, and took a long, deep breath of preparation. Her other self had a point, like a devious conscience trying to talk her into lewdness. She’d be hard pressed to find someone to sleep with that was quite so physically appealing, and who could possibly be a better lover than herself? She knew all the best spots. Knew how she liked to be licked. She was...perfect. And Rarity had always had a desire for perfection. With a soft laugh she tilted her head back and gave in to the moment, finally turning to face her other self in such a fashion as to bring their lips nearby. Just before they met in a moment of unusually intimate passion, her voice carried out through the room with no small trace of delight. “Oh, come here, you gorgeous thing you!”

As their lips met, the two most beautiful women for miles found themselves in a sudden and passionate kiss. Their tongues didn’t hesitate to find each other and the visiting Rarity pushed her weight forward, shoving her other self down flat to the bed so they could kiss even deeper. Identically purple locks of hair tangled with one another as their passion built, and while tongues danced and perfect white bodies grinded against each other, their hands moved to their clothing to peel it away. Two Rarities would typically lead to the sort of rampant fashion gossip that would overwhelm any of her friends, but they could always talk dress styles and different looks from their hometowns in the morning. The only thing that seemed fitting for either one of them that evening was bare, beautiful, porcelain flesh. The bathrobe was tossed aside followed by bits of Rarity’s own elegant attire, stripped free and tossed to the side with a reckless abandon that Rarity typically despised seeing fabric treated with. Bare white breasts met with their twins and their perfectly symmetrical bellies squeezed in close, just as legs entwined and hands continued to explore. Everything had a beautiful glaze of familiarity laced with a profound excitement, each one of them eager to see just how it was from the other end. Inwardly, the visiting Rarity was glad she had Sunset Shimmer give her a few “human mating” lessons before that evening. They certainly helped with deciding where to put her hands, where to grind her thigh, and just where to tease her tongue.

The two women had clear difficulty pulling themselves apart from their kiss, so utterly enchanted by the taste of the other that it was like fighting a magnetic pull. With the visiting Rarity straddling her twin their naked forms were slowly rocking back and forth against the other, with the kiss a constant through it all. Their chests were heaving and their excitement was building more and more, and it wasn’t until the Rarity on top nearly felt a shockwave of climax roll through her that she decided to peel herself away. Her lips fell from her twin’s and she gazed fondly into her eyes, moving a hand up to tease her fingers down the other girl’s cheek.

“Darling, these human mouths are so much easier to kiss with!” She chuckled, and licked her lips in a sweet sweeping motion. “And they seem like the perfect accessory for other activities. Now, in Ponyville a proper lady doesn’t simply mount her friend’s face without an invitation, so I was wondering if I migh-”

“Just do it already!” The native Rarity gasped out, and clutched her other self close. There was a desperate and pleading look in her eye; a look that her other self simply couldn’t deny. With another teasing smile playing on her lips she nodded and immediately worked to follow through with the request, swiveling her legs around and spinning in a fluid, smooth motion. Her pussy pressed down on her other self’s tummy, leaving a noticeable wet mark as she turned, and that wet streak continued all the way up the center of Rarity’s chest before nestling against her face. The visiting fashionista turned her own face down and pressed it between her other self’s thighs, forming a perfect circle of white flesh laced with pleasure and joy. The two women said little more at that point, since the offering before their mouths was simply too tempting to ignore.

Rarity had always wondered what she tasted like straight from the source, and wouldn’t she know it...she tasted divine! Lovely! Like a true ambrosia! She slurped against her visiting self’s folds with a hunger that she hadn’t realized until that very moment, licking up and down before circling her lips around her other self’s hood. She drew in deep of her flavor and rocked her own hips up to her twin’s mouth, goosebumps lining the inside of her thighs and rushing across her forearms. The perfect treat to sample and taste while she was given the royal treatment. She found the strength to speak if only for an instant, along with a tiny laugh that bubbled from the back of her throat as a thought came to her.

“Dear, I do hope you plan on giving me the same treatment I give my highest paying clients.” Rarity chuckled, and licked again with a soft, sweet flick. “I’d expect nothing less.”

“Oh, of course, darling!” Her other self beamed, just as she teased a slender finger against Rarity’s entrance. As she popped it in she giggled merrily, and lowered herself down to apply her skills. “Back where I come from we call it the Royal Treatment, because all the princesses love it!”

Rarity just sighed contently, and threw herself into her work at that. The taste of her mirror self’s pussy was divine, and the services being rendered were equally much so. And then knowledge that some version of her was so skilled, so talented, and so sought after that she performed on royalty itself? Rarity could enjoy that in a very deep, aroused spot within her. She threw herself into the moment and rocked her hips gently back and forth, meeting her other self’s licks with sucks of her own, savoring the scent, the taste, and the heat of the most complicated masturbation she had ever engaged in.

Climaxes came quickly to them, and why wouldn’t they? Neither woman had ever had a lover that knew each one of their spots so perfectly, and could read their noises with such fine and precise accuracy. True to their natural symmetry they found their peaks at the same time nearly to the second, and each one of them felt the rush of nectar from a squirting pussy that soaked the front of their hair and rushed across their faces and scalp.

“Ahh! My mane is soaked!” The visiting Rarity gasped, drawing forth a laugh from her other self.

“We don’t call it a mane here, darling.” She gently corrected her. “But...mine is, too.” Delightful laughter filled the room that could’ve easily been mistaken for the revelry of a fancy dinner party, the sound of two sophisticated young women utterly taken by the other’s charms and humor.

And throughout the evening, they enjoyed each other more and more. Somewhere poor Coco Pommel was falling asleep at her desk waiting for a text message from her employer, though Rarity was far too busy to stop and tell the young woman to take off for the rest of the night. She’d make it up to her another time; perhaps with a double dose of her favorite fashionista. For now, it was a time for Rarity to spend some quality time with herself, and she did just that. No pussy could be such a wonderful match against her own, no mouth could service her quite so thrillingly, and no one she had ever met could kiss as well as she could.

It confirmed everything Rarity had always suspected: she was breathtaking in the bedroom.

Hours later the two laid there, surrounded by a heavy scent of sex and half-covered by a tangled sheet. Rarity laid her head against the chest of her visiting self, and already found herself wondering about the further bedroom etiquette was in such a situation. As the hostess, should she be offering to spoon her other self? She was stolen from such thoughts while the Ponyville Rarity kissed her brow, and she shuddered once more with echoing delight and passion.

“I suppose you can...forget the payment, obviously.” Rarity finally laughed, and buried herself against her would-be client’s chest. “I don’t know if I can handle the surreal experience of paying myself for sex.”

“Maybe you’ll take something else in payment then, darling?” Her visitor asked with a slow smirk, and a gently arched brow. When her twin looked up at her Rarity simply beamed, and rolled her shoulders with a thoughtful expression on her face. “...the portal goes both ways, dear. And I assure you, being a pony also has its...advantages.”

Rarity could feel a blush rush across her cheeks, and her imagination burned at the thought. She swallowed steadily and gave a tiny nod to her other self, before darting up to kiss her once more. Their tongues pressed in tight and their naked bodies rubbed close together anew, finding a perfect spot against a mirror of themselves.

She wasn’t sure what she was more excited about: the extra round of lovemaking that was coming up, or the knowledge that she’d soon be picking out cute matching pony outfits with her new business partner.

The End.

Author's Note

Whew! Truth be told, this one hung me up for a while. Rarity is not an easy character to write for sometimes, and double the Rar-rar was even trickier. But I hope you enjoyed this story as one of my lighter bits of smutty fun. As always your comments/likes are deeply appreciated.

This story won a Patreon poll a few months ago, and this was the result. Every month I put together a poll for my supporters to vote on what story they'd like to see, ranging from all sorts of different franchises. If you'd like to support me, please check it out and show some love. (Also, Patrons get to read poll stories two weeks before everyone else!)