Love Letter, MLP:FiM edition
“Gentlecolts, I hereby call this month’s meeting of the F.F.C.O.A. to order!”
Zestar looks around the square table, acknowledging to himself that with only four members in the club, his announcement came off a tad bombastic. Nonetheless, he had started every meeting the same way, so there was little reason to change the process now.
“So,” he continues, “with a certain somepony celebrating a birthday next week, I trust that all here have crafted their love letter?” The other three members nod accordingly. “Excellent. So, would anypony care to read what they’ve created?”
Zestar’s request is met with dead silence. “Come now, I’m sure there’s some real poetry within our midst. Brown Snout,” he says, turning to the pony on his left, “why don’t you lead us off?”
“Shyeah, right!” replies Brown Snout. “Like I want you or anyone else reading this! There’s only one pony who should read this letter, and that’s Fluttershy.”
“Oh, give it a rest,” snaps the pony to Brown Snout’s left. “She’s not reading your letter any more than she’s reading mine, or Zestar’s, or Hollow Log’s. This whole activity was pointless.”
“Geez, Green Cheese, what crawled up your tail?”
“Put an apple core in it, Hollow Log!”
“Everypony, calm down!” The others turn to Zestar, still grumbling to themselves. “There’s no reason for any fighting here. I thought it would be a nice exercise for all of us to write about how we each feel about Fluttershy, but clearly our words might be too personal to share with each other. That’s my mistake, and I do apologize.”
“Honestly,” Green Cheese complains, “I don’t know why I even bothered to pen mine!”
“You wrote your letter because you have real feelings towards Fluttershy,” Zestar calmly reminds the pony across from him. “It’s all part of being in the Fluttershy Fan Club of Appleoosa; we all appreciate all she’s done for Equestria, along with her friends and our cousin …”
“Distant cousin, to say the least,” Brown Snout reminds Zestar. “I think I’m, like, Applejack’s 16th cousin or so, and I doubt any of you are any closer.”
“In any case,” Zestar continues, “we all have great admiration for this special pegasus, and would like to voice said appreciation. And as face-to-face conversation is simply not feasible, what better way to express our feelings than by letters like what we’ve created here?”
Green Cheese remains indignant. “But again, so what? It’s not like she’s ever going to actually read any of these, right?”
The comment draws another round of silence. Eventually, Hollow Log breaks the silence with a suggestion:
“Well … why not?”
“Why not what?” Green Cheese asks.
“Why can’t we get Fluttershy to read our letters?”
“Oh, sure! Because anypony can just waltz right up to the living embodiment of kindness and hand her a piece of parchment, and she’ll just read it and instantly fall for somepony she’s never met. It’ll be just that easy, right Hollow Head?”
“Well I bet I could get further with my letter than you could, Cheese!”
“And what makes you so special?” Brown Snout asks.
“Her birthday is next week, right? Well that means a party in the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville. All I gotta do is finagle a way to get my letter into that castle, and then let things happen.”
Brown Snout and Green Cheese both fall to the ground in hysterics at the idea. Zestar ponders Hollow Log’s suggestion, then asks “Say, you think you could get my letter into the castle, too?”
“What are you, crazy? You want Fluttershy to read your letter, you find your own way in.”
A sly smile spreads across Zestar’s face. “That sounds like a challenge.” Hollow Log reciprocates the smile, as the others regain their composure and, upon seeing the seriousness of the challenge, formulate their own thoughts.
“If Fluttershy is actually going to read any letter,” Brown Snout declares, “it’ll be mine.”
“Dream on,” Green Cheese counters, “I’m getting my letter through to her.”
“It’s settled then,” Zestar states to the others, “next week we pay a visit to Ponyville and … may the best suitor win.”
The train pulls into Ponyville early on the morning of Fluttershy’s birthday. Four would-be suitors step off the train, each with a scroll tucked into a saddlebag.
“To the Castle of Friendship,” Hollow Log decrees. The others shake their heads in refusal.
“You go where you want, H-L; I got my own plans.” Green Cheese’s sentiments are shared by the others.
“Your loss. Next meeting, we can talk about how Fluttershy enjoyed reading my letter.”
“We’ll see,” Brown Snout states. The four ponies then go their separate ways.
As Rarity finishes wrapping up her gift to Fluttershy, she hears the chimes from the entrance of her store go off. She leaves her workspace and walks over to greet her potential customer.
“I’m sorry, but Carousel Boutique will be closing in fifteen minutes; I have a prior commitment to attend to. If you can be quick with your selection …”
“Actually, I wanted to speak to you, Miss Rarity. I have a favor to ask of you.”
“Oh. OK, and you are? …”
“My name is Zestar, and I am a big fan of the work that you and your friends have done.”
Rarity’s eyes dart from one side of the boutique to the other, her mind unsure how to proceed with the strange pony. “Yes, well I do thank you for your kind words, but I’ve never seen you around Ponyville before.”
“Actually, I’m from Appleoosa. I came here because …” Zestar blushes, and he turns away for a moment.
“Is everything OK? You seem embarrassed by something.”
“Well, the truth of the matter is … for some time now, I’ve had these feelings within me. That there is a pony that I would really like to get to know, and—“
“Let me stop you right there,” Rarity interrupts. “Now don’t get me wrong. I think it’s very sweet that you have feelings for me, and I think that’s totally understandable. I mean, what pony wouldn’t want to be with me. But I’m only seeing you today for the first time, and this notion of ‘love at first site’ is simply a myth. Now, if you were to offer me a trip to Manehattan, perhaps take in a show on Bridleway, maybe fine-dining … then, over time …”
Rarity’s voice trails off as her eyes glaze. Zestar observes her for a minute.
“Actually, I was referring to Fluttershy.”
Zestar’s words snap Rarity back to a state of readiness. “Huh? Oh, well … it’s just as well, I mean we have nothing in common, and it’s not like I’m waiting for that special somepony to sweep me off my feet, wine and dine me, and then we’re off on our honeymoon to Las Pegasus …” Rarity pauses, noticing the curious glance that Zestar gives her. “Er … what is it you want?”
“Would it be possible for you to deliver a note to Fluttershy, from me.”
“Oh. Well, that depends: would it be possible for you to go on your merry way and not tell a soul about my little … *ahem* … display?”
Zestar shrugs and nods in compliance. He reaches into his saddlebag and pulls out a scroll; Rarity levitates it onto the table next to her gift, as Zestar repeats “thank you”-ing a number of times before trotting off.
Sheesh, Zestar thinks to himself as he heads for the station. Maybe I should’ve tried somepony else, like Applejack.
“You’re outta your hay-pickin’ mind!” Applejack’s retort causes Brown Snout to backpedal in both a physical and lingual sense.
“I know I ask a lot, Applejack, but I beg of you. I mean, we’re cousins.”
“Then how come I ain’t never seen you during a family reunion? I’ve had all of the Appleoosan clan out here.”
Brown Snout looks out of the corners of his eyes as he formulates a response. “Gee, I dunno. I guess after so many generations down the line and all …”
“Applejack, who is you talkin’ to?”
AJ turns around and sees Granny Smith walking out of the barn towards the twosome. “Just some stranger who claims to be family. Do you know this ‘Brown Snout’?”
Granny Smith rubs her chin while saying his name to herself. “Oh yes, now I remember. Your family came over from Trottingham so many moons ago, right?”
“Well … begging your pardon, Miss Granny Smith, but I don’t know much about my family genealogy.”
Paying little attention to the strange pony, Granny Smith turns to Applejack. “You know, the Snouts were well-known for their cider-making abilities back during the olden days. My great-great-grandparents learned a thing or two from them; helped us to formulate the cider recipe we use today.”
“Well I’ll be.” Applejack turns back to Brown Snout. “Well I guess you really are family … distant family, anyway. We’ll be sure to send your family an invite the next time we’re hostin’.”
“And does that mean? …” Brown Snout smiles as his eyes plead his case one final time.
Applejack sighs. “I guess it’ll be OK. I’m gonna warn you, though; if Fluttershy reacts poorly to your words, then I won’t be so neighborly the next time I see you. She’s still more family to me than you are.”
Brown Snout bows before the two Apples. “I am forever in both your debts, and I thank you again.” He pulls out his scroll and passes it to Applejack, who tucks it into her saddlebag.
“You know,” AJ finally tells Brown Snout, “if you feel that strongly about Fluttershy, you probably could just give her this yourself.”
“Oh, no, no, no … I just, I couldn’t do …” Brown Snout trips over his words as he backs away from Applejack, before finally turning around and walking away.
“He seems nice,” Granny Smith admits.
“Granny Smith … just how many distant relatives do we have?”
Looking around to be certain nopony is in the vicinity, Hollow Log walks up to the main entrance to the Castle of Friendship, pulls out the scroll from his saddlebag and places it on the ground, and raps on the door. Seconds later, the door opens.
“Can I help you?” Spike asks.
“I have a scroll to be delivered to Fluttershy. It has come to my attention that she will be appearing at this location later today.” Hollow Log’s air of authority belies his nervousness at trying to pass off the ruse as legitimate.
“Scroll delivery? I thought pegasi were the only mailponies in Equestria.”
“Yes, well I’m part of a special ‘ground force’; we’ve only begun our services over the past week.”
Spike eyes Hollow Log suspiciously. “How come you’re not in uniform, then?”
“Well, as I said, we’ve only begun this past week. Our uniforms are still in the process of being finalized.” Hollow Log starts looking over his shoulders as his legs tremble.
“I see. And who should I say is the scroll from?”
“Uh …” Hollow Log looks around the landscape while trying to craft a name. “… the scroll is from … Hanging … Ivy. Yes, that’s the name. Hanging Ivy.”
Spike rolls his eyes. “Really? That’s the best you can do? What do you take me for?”
“OK I confess the scroll is from me I’m just such a big fan of Fluttershy and I want her to know how I feel so please please please give her that scroll but don’t tell anyone it’s from me!!!”
Hollow Log collapses from his stream-of-consciousness rant. As he gasps for breath, Spike shakes his head at the sight. “I’ll see what I can do,” he says with a sigh.
Hollow Log ekes out a ‘thank you’, turns tail, and slumps off. Spike picks up the scroll, closes the door behind him, and walks towards the kitchen.
As he sets down the scroll onto the countertop and picks up a pan, Twilight rushes into the room. “Spike, I need your assistance,” she gleefully states.
“I know that look in your eye,” Spike relates to Twilight. “Should I get the pillows and helmet?”
“Don’t be silly. I’ve been working on teleportation spells, and … well, just stand there for one minute.” Twilight concentrates as her horn’s glow intensifies.
“Are you sure you’ve perfected this—“
*BANG*
The pan in Spike’s claw clatters upon hitting the ground. As the smoke dissipates, Twilight observes a confused Rarity looking around the kitchen. “Well however did I get in here?”
Green Cheese eyes Fluttershy’s cottage just up the pathway. Fools. She’s gonna read my letter before she even leaves for her party. Just gotta find the right someone to deliver it to her … and if I’ve done my research correctly …”
Upon crossing over a wooden bridge, Green Cheese spots Angel nibbling on some hay. He sees no sign of Fluttershy, and pulls out a pair of carrots and his rolled-up scroll from his bag. “PSST!” he whispers. “Angel … over here.”
Angel picks up Green Cheese’s voice, sees the carrots on the ground, and bounds over to the strange pony. He sniffs at the carrot before taking a bite. As he chows down, Green Cheese speaks.
“I know you probably don’t understand me talking to you, but that’s fine. Just wait here until Fluttershy comes along, and she’ll see this scroll. But in case you do understand me, just make sure she reads it. Thanks!”
Green Cheese walks away from Angel while keeping his eyes on the bunny, now on his second carrot. As he gets back to the bridge, he notices the front door opening; he quickly turns and runs back down the path.
“Angel, where did you get those carrots,” Fluttershy asks as she walks up to the bunny. She then spots the scroll nearby. “Oh, what’s this.” She picks up the scroll in her mouth, turns, and walks backs into her cottage; Angel, upon finishing off the second carrot, follows her inside.
Fluttershy walks over to the sofa and unrolls the scroll. She begins to read aloud, with Angel listening: “ ‘My dearest, sweet Fluttershy’ … oh my, this is a love letter. Angel, did you see who dropped this off?”
Angel shrugs his shoulders, and Fluttershy turns back to read more of the letter. At that moment, a blue blur bursts through the front door.
“Hey Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash starts, “you’re running late for your own party. We gotta go.”
“Oh. Sorry, Rainbow Dash. I must have lost track of time. I’m ready to go.”
“Saaay, what’s that in your hooves?”
The color drains from Fluttershy’s face. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.”
“C’mon,” Rainbow coaxes as she grabs for the letter. “Looks like parchment for a spell. Is that for Twilight? Lemme see.”
“It’s nothing, it’s … uh … kindling for the fireplace!” Fluttershy runs over to the fireplace and tosses the letter into the fire; the parchment quickly turns to soot.
“Wow, you’re jumpier than usual. You gonna be OK?”
“I’ll be fine,” Fluttershy assures as she grabs Angel and takes one final glance at the fireplace. “I am fine. Now let’s go,” she finally states resolutely.
“You sure you don’t need any help pushin’ that cannon around?”
“Nah, I’m good,” Pinkie Pie answers Applejack, as the two head from Sugarcube Corner to Carousel Boutique.
“After we get Rarity, we can head over to the castle. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash should be there by then, and then we can …”
“… get the party STARTED!!!” Pinkie’s cannon shoots out a burst of confetti, which dissipates to the ground in short order. “Oops. Need to save some of that for when the party actually starts, don’t I.”
Applejack shakes her head in bemusement. The two turn a corner and eye Carousel Boutique along their path … and Spike running towards them with a gift and scroll in tow.
“Spike!” Applejack exclaims. “What’re you doin’ here? Where’s Rarity?”
“Twilight’s been practicing with teleportation magic,” Spike explains. “Rarity’s probably at the castle now, wondering how she got there.”
“You don’t seem all that phased by the whole thing.”
“I’ve gotten used to Twilight’s magic experiments over the years.” Spike looks over his haul as he continues: “Sure hope I got everything she meant to bring.”
Pinkie bounds around Spike, eyeing his swag. “Hey, what’s that?” she asks, pointing to the scroll.
“Just some message that I’ve been asked to give to Fluttershy on her birthday. I guess some ponies—“
“ ‘Message’?” Applejack pulls out the scroll she obtained from Brown Snout. “I got one of those as well. That can’t be just a coincidence, right?”
“Fluttershy has suitors? Oh, maybe this means I get to plan another wedding reception!”
Pinkie fires off her cannon in anticipation … but nothing comes out from the explosion. “Uh oh … I need more confetti.” She turns to Spike and Applejack, and a sly smile spreads across her face. “OK, I’m thinking of a number. GO!”
The others look at Pinkie quizzically, before a realization kicks in. “I know what you’re thinking,” Spike assures, “but I’m not playing this game.”
Applejack responds in kind: “The same goes for me, too.”
“TWO! That’s it; Applejack wins.” Before Spike can react, Pinkie grabs his scroll and tears the letter to shreds before loading the new confetti into the cannon.
“Pinkie Pie, what in Tartarus are you thinkin’!!!”
“What? It’s not like Fluttershy can marry two ponies, right?”
“Pinkie, Fluttershy ain’t marryin’ anypony!”
“Not with that attitude, Grumpy Gus!” Pinkie’s cheerful expression and responses convinces Applejack that continuing the argument would be pointless.
“Let’s just get to the castle, already,” Applejack flatly states.
“I can appreciate your interest in the magical arts as much as the next unicorn,” Rarity states, “but perhaps you could give your friends some forewarning in the future.”
“Again, I am truly sorry, Rarity. I’ll be more careful with spellcasting on friends, I promise.”
“Well, no harm done. I do hope that Spike is kind enough to bring my gift.” She turns towards the counter and sees a scroll. “What’s this? Did the scroll make the trip with me?”
“What scroll?”
Rarity levitates the scroll and eyes it carefully. “Waaait a minute. This isn’t the scroll that pony gave me. Twilight, dear, did some strange pony come to your door earlier today?”
Twilight walks over to see what’s occupying Rarity’s interest. “I think Spike answered the door earlier; what is that?”
“Suffice to say, Twilight, I do believe Fluttershy has some rather strange and affectionate fans. I shan’t open this now, but I do believe it to be some sort of love letter.”
“A love letter? From who?”
“This scroll, I cannot say … but earlier, somepony I’ve never seen before dropped by the boutique to have me deliver Fluttershy a similar letter. He said his name was Zestar, and he claimed to be from Appleoosa. Very nervous fellow, to say the least.”
“So should we just give this letter to Fluttershy when she comes?” Twilight asks. “She could become self-conscious reading a letter like that.”
“Honestly, I don’t see the harm … but we can ask the others their opinion when they show up.”
Minutes later, the two hear a rapping from the main entrance and head over to greet their guests. Twilight answers and is relieved to see Spike, along with her two earth pony friends. “Spike! I am truly sorry for teleporting you like that.”
“Meh, I’ve gone through worse.” Spike notices Rarity behind Twilight. “I see I wasn’t the only one who went for a ride. I think I got everything you wanted me to bring.”
“I am again indebted to you, Spike. By the way … did you happen to bring a scroll that I left near the presents?”
Spike’s eyes turn to Pinkie Pie. “Sorry … we had a little incident on the way over.”
“WHAT? I already told you once: Fluttershy. Can’t. Marry. Two. Suitors.” Pinkie’s comment leaves Twilight and Rarity bewildered.
“Don’t mind Pinkie,” Applejack reassures. “she’s just a little more ‘Pinkie’ than usual. But as long as we’re here before Fluttershy, maybe you two have thoughts on what I should do with this here—”
“Scroll?” Rarity’s interruption catches Applejack by surprise.
“Now how do you know about that?”
“Just bring yours into the kitchen and put it next to the other one, and we can discuss the issue in there.”
Fluttershy’s arrival came with much cheer and celebration, as the six ponies (along with Spike and Angel) celebrated with food and activities over the course of several hours. As the party wound down, Applejack and Rarity turn to each other, nod, and head over to the kitchen; they return, each with a scroll intended for the birthday pony.
“We definitely hope you had fun today,” Applejack starts, “but we can’t keep this from you any longer. Earlier today, the two of us …”
“Actually three,” Spike interjects.
“Yeah, the three of us each got some sort of letter from a would-be fan of yours. We weren’t sure what to do with ‘em, so we thought we’d wait for your opinion.”
Fluttershy inspects the two scrolls. “Oh my … those look just like the one Angel gave me earlier.”
“Waitaminute, is that what you were reading when I got to you?”
“Waitaminute, does that mean Fluttershy has FOUR suitors???”
“WAIT, ANGEL!!!” Fluttershy’s plea falls on deaf bunny ears, as Angel scampers over, grabs a scroll, heads to a nearby trash basket, and shreds one of the letters to scraps of nothingness. “Angel! That was very inconsiderate!”
“I’ll say; I could’ve used that for more confetti!” Everyone turns to Pinkie with rolled eyes. “What? Too drab a color?”
After a moment of awkward silence, Applejack turns to Fluttershy. “Well, it’s up to you if you wanna take this with you and read it in private. If you wanna just get rid of it, I wouldn’t blame ya.”
“Actually, I am curious what another would want to say to me …”
“Gentlecolts, I hereby call this month’s meeting of the F.F.C.O.A. to order!”
Zestar looks around the square table, and notices one particular pony shaking with excitement. “You have something you wish to share with the group, Hollow Log?”
“I GOT A RESPONSE FROM FLUTTERSHY!!!”
The others all drop their jaws in amazement as Hollow Log pulls out a scroll. “I haven’t read it yet myself; I thought it best to share with all of you.” He clears his throat and begins to read aloud:
“ ‘Dear Hollow Log: Thank you so much for your kind words to me. My friends and I …’ Wait, she read this with the others?” Hollow Log begins to sweat, as the others chuckle at his expense.
“Well go on,” Green Cheese coaxes. Hollow Log turns back to the response.
“ ‘My friends and I all shared reading your words, and thought it was very sweet that you took the time and effort to offer me such warm wishes for my birthday. I will be forever touched by your sensitivity. Sincerely, Fluttershy.’ ”
“Well congratulations, old chum! You did our group proud today!”
“Thanks, Brown Snout.” Hollow Log turns back to Fluttershy’s letter. “Strange, she didn’t mention any of you. I wonder what happened to … oh wait: ‘P.S.: apologies to your three friends; their letters were unfortunately lost due to various circumstances.’ ”
“Rotten shame, there.” The others nod in agreement with Green Cheese’s comment. “Sure would’ve been nice to have my letter read.”
All four look at each other in contemplation. A minute of silence passes. Finally, Brown Snout speaks: “Well … the annual Appleoosan rodeo is back in a couple months. Maybe if Applejack can convince the others to join her …”
Smiles creep across everypony’s face.
“OK,” Zestar declares, “our project for next meeting is for each to write another letter …”
