Rainbow Dash Plays Portal 2

by nebulaegalaxy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Portal
Length: 1143

So this is a thing that happened once.

Somepony (not gonna name any, just saying) dared Rainbow to play this one game.

You can imagine how it went.
Or read this story. It'd be easier.

Proofreader: Randominos
Best Friend being a bit of a dumby with the comments: Dollie

Published 2017-01-25 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-25 19:00:01 UTC

YOU CAN'T USE A COMPUTER WITH HOOVES!!

Already, Rainbow Dash was having trouble setting up the game.

“Where does this plug into again?” she muttered to nopony in particular, trying to find where she should plug in her mouse. After finding a USB port, she plugged it in, only to find it was on the wrong side.

“I think I should’ve gotten a wireless mouse… Or at least one with a longer cord,” she lamented while searching for a port on the other side. After successfully finding one on the correct side, she turned on the laptop she was borrowing from Fluttershy. It was running smoothly so far. When the login screen popped up, she used the password Fluttershy had given her to login.

“So far so good…”

After the laptop finished signing in, she opened the store so she could purchase the game she had been dared to play. She couldn’t remember who had dared her, but she did remember the game they suggested she play. Portal 2, they called it.

Upon finding the game, she bought it, making a mental note to pay ‘Shy back later. While she was waiting for it to download, she got herself a bottle of water. If she was gonna be playing for a few hours, she wanted to make sure she had something to drink close by.

As the game finished downloading, she sat down and started up the game. A mellow song began to play, but slowly, the intensity increased.

“Huh… Spooky…” Rainbow commented. The music was overall awesome to her, but still, it gave her chills.

“Hmm… Should I do single player or co-op first? What even is co-op? Hmm… Maybe I should do single player first. So I can learn the mechanics,” she mumbled, clicking the button to play. “And since I’ve never played before, I should start a new game.”

A few minutes after starting the game, Rainbow was already having problems playing the game, trying to solve the tests. Wheatley, the strange “Core” she had met, had left her to find the portal gun by herself.

“Why is it so hard to play this game with hooves?!” she complained. “Shouldn’t the keys be bigger??”

Despite her issues with the keyboard, she progressed, albeit slower than most ponies. Soon, however, she got the hang of the controls, now progressing quickly.

“Ha! Take that keyboard! Who’s good now? That’s right. Me,” Rainbow said excitedly. “Now, to get out. I wonder if we really do get out… It’d be a short game if we did.”

Shortly after Rainbow’s victory over the keyboard, however, she came to a critical part of the game. Wheatley, her Core friend who had “woken” her up, was crushed by GLaDOS, the “main” villain of the game, who was supposed to still be deactivated.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHEATLEY! HOW DARE YOU KILL MY FRIEND YOU… YOU… pony feathers, I can’t think of a proper insult,” she cried as GLaDOS tossed poor Wheatley aside.

She had swapped the working turret with the defective one, and detached the neurotoxin from the pipes. Now all that was left was to defeat GLaDOS and have some cake.

“Piece of cake,” Rainbow said to herself, even as she fell into the trap GLaDOS had set for her. As Wheatley rolled down the tube instead of the neurotoxin GLaDOS was expecting, Rainbow cheered, victory within grasp.

As she set Wheatley up for Core transfer, she heard the corrupted Core complain. The stalemate button opened up to the side, and Rainbow went to press it.

After a minute of trying to get to it, she figured out how to. Shortly after pressing it, she heard Wheatley wonder if it would hurt.

“Oh it will, believe me, it will.”

Rainbow was about to yell about how she didn’t believe her, but before she could, the laptop, having not been charging, died.

“CELESTIA D-”

Grumbling, Rainbow was working on the power box. “Let’s see… Which one is for… Aha!” she exclaimed triumphantly, flicking the switch to turn the power back on. “Now, to get back to my game,” she said softly, closing the panel and heading back inside.

She got the laptop on after it charged a bit (having realized the battery died due to the outage of power) and was opening up the game to realize-

“IT DIDN’T SAVE?!”

Getting back to where she had gotten to before was frustrating, especially since she had done it before. She could’ve sworn it was auto-saving, but then she thought that maybe it had glitched out. However, after a few hours of trying to get back to where she had been, she completely forgot about losing her progress before. When Wheatley, now the ‘Core in charge,’ summoned a lift for her, she happily got in it, and patiently waited for Wheatley, despite his rambling, to send her out. But while she was on her way up and out, Wheatley started acting… Strange. He pulled Rainbow back down, and, after arguing with GLaDOS for a moment, put her in a potato, and shoved both the GLaDOS-potato and Rainbow’s player down a pit, not on purpose, mind you, but on accident.

As the next chapter of the game started, Rainbow was beginning to think that maybe, Wheatley was not the core to put in charge.

Having teamed up with the lovely potato-GLaDOS, Rainbow made her way back to the main facility above them.

She missed that guy from before, Cave what’s-his-name, but she needed to progress, and quickly.

Seeing Wheatley’s… Experimental testing objects threw Rainbow into a loop. She hadn’t expected him to mesh the turrets and cubes together.

“What in Equestria was he thinking? Those things look horrifying! And that’s coming from me!” Rainbow exclaimed, but continued on her way. She figured the game must be over soon, right?

The words The Part Where he Kills You flashed on the screen, right before Wheatley himself said-

“This is the part where I kill you!”

“Oh, give me a break,” Rainbow muttered as she fired a portal behind him.

As Wheatley tried to get Rainbow’s attention and get her back over to where he was gonna try to kill her, Rainbow blatantly ignored him, trying to find the way to get him out of control of the facility and GLaDOS back.

Rainbow was about to press the stalemate button, but before she could, it blew up in her face.

Her character looked up and saw the moon.

A portal was fired.

Everything was pulled into the portal she had used to throw Wheatley’s bombs back at him.

Including herself.

“Aw crap.”

She had successfully banished Wheatley to space. GLaDOS had saved her and let her go.

Rainbow looked at the time.

She had been playing for ten hours before beating the game.

“Oh pony feathers.”