A New Day, A New Twilight
Twilight Sparkle had a specific way she did a lot of things; specific ways that Spike had memorized, partially unintentionally due to being around the mare his whole life and partially intentionally to make his life easier. Because watching Twilight get into one of her compulsive order phases, usually brought on by stress in her own little world, was very annoying if not scary or concerning. Albeit, she was a LOT better about it now. He wasn't sure if it was her new friends, the small town life, just getting out more, or a perk of the elements, but her "Moments" were more short term and much easier to manage; Smarty Pants incident notwithstanding.
On a normal day with just the two of them she woke up at seven in the morning, had a glass of orange juice(or coffee, if needed), a bowl of cereal or soup,(depending on the weather and mood) some toast, a cookie and did a few cleaning spells to get herself completely awake.
Sure, she deviated from time to time or Spike cooked up something to change things up, but that was the norm.
To that effect, Spike was a bit bewildered by the sight before him. Twilight was humming a tune to herself, shaking her flank and tail to the beat, as she cooked up a neat stack of pancakes, placing finished ones on a plate and covering them in a generous amount of syrup, as well as pouring some milk into cups.
Oh, and this was all happenings before six in the morning- buck, before sunrise even!
"Umm, Twilight, are you *YAWWWWWN!* okay?" Spike asked in concern, licking his chops as he rubbed his crust filled eyes.
"Spike! I didn't think you'd be awake yet," Twilight greeted with a smile, using her magic to stir the latest pancake in the pan as she gave the baby dragon a hug, "Did I wake you?" She asked, tilting her head in concern of her own.
"I don't know anymore. I think I stumbled out to the bathroom before I caught your tune," He admitted, rolling his neck as he tried to clear the cobwebs from his mind, "Why ya up and doing all this?" He asked in the midst of stretching.
"Oh, no reason, just trying something new. Ever since the Smarty Pants thing, I started looking into self-help books. So I'm changing stuff up a bit, acting outside my box and all that," Twilight answered with a smile, "Now, are you going back to bed or staying up? Cause these pancakes are soon going to go from delicious and warm to soggy and cold," Twilight informed with a twinkle in her eye.
Spike blinked before grinning, "Sure, I could use a bite. Just warn me before you start shifting sleeping schedules again," He requested, climbing up a footstool to make some coffee.
"I'll put it on a sticky note," Twilight joked as she served up the last of the pancakes, putting them onto three plates equally.
"Who's the third plate for?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow as Twilight magically pulled out a salt shaker filled with purple gem shavings, making him drool a bit.
Twilight smirked playfully, using her napkin-covered hoof to close his mouth and wipe it clean, "That would be for Pinkie Pie," She informed with a giggle as she set the table.
"What, she coming over?" Spike asked in confusion.
"Not that I know of, but call it a hunch," Twilight informed mysteriously.
Spike opened his mouth, only to blink as he hear a knock on the door, "...No way," He said, not sure to grin or looked shocked.
Twilight gave a too-innocent look as she went to answer the door, "Hello, Pinkie, fancy seeing you at this hour," Twilight greeted with a smile.
"Hi Twilight! I smelt something delicious. Can I have pancakes too?" She asked hopefully.
"I already made a place for you," Twilight assured, waving Pinkie Pie in.
"Huh? How'd you know I was coming Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked with wide eyes as she walked into the kitchen before gasping, "Can you read minds now?!" She asked in awe, "Spike, can Twilight read minds?!" She asked to the drake in a too-loud whisper.
The dragon rolled his eyes at that as he swallowed a bite of pancake, "Yes, Pinkie, Twilight reads minds now," He answered sarcastically.
"That's right," Twilight agreed with a grin, getting wider eyes from Pinkie and a raised eyebrow from Spike, "That's how I knew your Pinkie Sense told you that someone was making pancakes right as you passed by the library," She explained playfully.
"GASSSSP! You can read minds!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, pointing an accusing hoof at her.
"Nice trick, eh? Found it a few nights ago," Twilight teased.
"Twilight?" Spike asked slowly in confusion.
"Shh," She said to Spike with an innocent look, winking at him.
'...Prankster Twilight. Scary, but interesting,' Spike decided, fighting off a smirk.
"So, does that mean you know what I'm thinking right now?" Pinkie asked, somewhere between excited and concerned or afraid.
"Yep! You're wondering what flavor the pancakes are and you're intending to eat a third of them the second I stop talking," Twilight predicted with her eyes closed. She opened them and saw Pinkie Pie, face stuffed with pancakes and looking at her in shock.
The party pony swallowed it all in one gulp, "That's uncanny!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Is that even legal?" Spike asked curiously, deciding to go along with it.
"Potentially. If Pinkie tells me to stop and I don't, it's illegal. If hadn't told I was doing it to her fairly soon after doing it, also illegal. And if I had done it with the intent of doing harm to the pony in any form? The answer rhymes with Still-Beagle," Twilight elaborated slyly.
"Don't worry, Twilight! You can read my mind all you want!" Pinkie Pie assured happily, before looking nervous, "Just, uh, don't share with anypony about the...op-clay in-way y-may ead-hay."
"Pinkie, we have innocent ears present," Twilight reminded in light scolding.
"We do?" Spike asked in confusion, deflating at their stares, "Oh, right," He grumbled flatly.
"And Pinkie, if I talked to anypony about that stuff, your name would not be brought up and I'd only be wondering if those things exist or if the act itself is even physically possible," Twilight assured comfortingly.
"Ohh...you know about those ones...," Pinkie Pie said with a near invisible blush.
"Don't worry, Pinkie, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Also, yes, unicorn horns can do that," Twilight said with a suggestive grin.
Now Pinkie Pie was definitely blushing, "Cherry Pie, anyone?" Spike quipped with a smirk.
"C-can we change the subject, please?" Pinkie Pie requested, rubbing her hoof over her other foreleg.
"As soon as you stop thinking about it," Twilight promised, "Here, I'll help: rock, roof, rinds, widow."
"...One of those things is not like the others," Spike commented with a raised eyebrow as Pinkie Pie blinked.
"Well, it worked. Right, Pinkie?" Twilight asked with a grin.
"Worked on what?" Pinkie Pie asked with a head tilt.
"Exactly," Twilight said with mock smugly, "Now, we feast!...Because, seriously, the pancakes are getting cold."
One Meal Later
"Top Ten. Best Pancakes. Ever," Pinkie Pie said with a content grin, patting her belly.
"Well, magic wasn't the only thing I studied," Twilight said proudly.
"She says, after I caught a cold when we moved here and couldn't cook for nearly a week," Spike retorted with a smirk.
"Is that a challenge? Are you a challenger, good drake?" Twilight asked with a challenging glare, getting a raised eyebrow from Spike, "Are you challenging me to make a changeling joke?!...Because it's too soon and too fresh and I really don't have a good one," She finished, deflating with a sigh, "Poor Shiny said they barely got to enjoy the honeymoon."
"I think sleeping is how I'd enjoy myself after repelling an invasion," Spike commented, "After the victory party, Pinkie," He added on as she raised a hoof.
"Oh. Well, I'd enjoy it with a lot of baked goods from my secret secret stash," Pinkie Pie answered with a grin before looking thoughtful, "Twilight, can you read my mind to figure out where I put them?"
"Pinkie, if you forgot them, what good would reading your mind do?" Twilight pointed out in amusement.
"Yeah, she'd have to probe you for that one," Spike mused with a chuckle.
"...Probe me?" Pinkie Pie repeated, wide eyes darting between the two.
"I'd have to ease you into it, otherwise I might hurt you," Twilight answered casually.
"Don't worry, Twilight is good with aftercare," Spike added on with a grin.
"...Excuse me, I think Gummy is calling me!" a very embarrassed Pinkie Pie yelled before running out of the library, "Thanks for the Pancakes!"
"Your windmill roofs are not dirty!" Twilight called after her.
The door stopped in mid-slam as Pinkie peeked her head back in with a confused look, "What did you say, Twilight?"
"Your windmill roofs are not dirty," Twilight repeated with a smile.
"Oh, thanks! Thought you said my spend thrill hooves are not flirty," Pinkie Pie commented with a beaming smile, before closing the door and heading off.
Spike waited ten seconds before turning to Twilight with a smirk, "We just pranked Pinkie Pie, didn't we?" He asked deviously.
"Yes, my scaly comrade, we have indeed," Twilight answered with a giggle.
"Best. Breakfast. Ever. Of all Time," Spike declared with relish, "...So, what was that about windmills?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just trying to think a bit like Pinkie. Partially to get outside my box, partially to see what I come up with, but mostly for whatever reactions I'll get," Twilight admitted with a snicker.
"Just be careful, somepony might think you're a changeling," Spike warned as he put the plates in the sink
"Oh trust me, I'm counting on that," Twilight assured with a grin before scowling curiously, "Actually, why don't you think that?"
"Because no one pretending to be you would try to prank Pinkie Pie," Spike answered bluntly.
"So, it's so out of character, it's somehow in character?" Twilight asked thoughtfully, rubbing her chin.
"Well, that and I know your pancakes anywhere," Spike answered with a sheepish blush.
Twilight said nothing to that, just giving ruffling his head a bit, "So, any plans for the day?" She asked curiously.
"Not really, why?" Spike replied, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow.
"I got a little...prank-gift for Rainbow once she gets over suspecting I'm not Twilight, but I need somepony-or somedrake- to help me get it right," Twilight answered mischievously.
"Don't you mean be the guinea pig?" Spike asked dryly.
"Co-pig, Spike, co-pig," Twilight assured, patting him on the back.
"...Well, if we're both doing it, why not," Spike answered with a grin.
"That's the spirit! Besides, we'll both get to laugh at each other for a bit," Twilight proposed.
"Yeah, yeah, but I'm out if one of us starts grow tentacles."
"I'll be happy as long as we have the same number of limbs by the end of the day."
Author's Note
And there we have it. Not much to say, other than Twilight is crazy with a capital K, and she's only getting started.
Feel free to suggest prank ideas and random things for Twilight to try.
Phases Tentacle through Pie
*KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK*
"Anypony home?" Applejack called, a bit perplexed by the lack of answer. Twilight usually had the library open by now. Was she sick?
That line of thought went out the window as the door opened, revealing Spike. He held up a claw before she could speak, covering his mouth briefly as his cheeks bulged. He let out a sigh...of red mist, "Sorry, I have...a burping problem right now," He explained, waving the fumes away, "What brings you this way, Applejack?"
"Hi, Spike. I, um, came ta see about a book on birds," Applejack informed awkwardly.
"Right, right, come on...in," Spike instructed, waving a claw as he held back another burp.
"Are ya sure..." Applejack started, only to stare uncomprehendingly at Spike's backside, "...Ya know ya got hair all over your back?" Applejack asked slowly while the drake climbed a ladder.
Spike chuckled at that as he started looking through books, absently scratching his brown-furred backside, "Yeah, I was looking like a giant rat or something earlier. Do not know how you ponies deal with this itchy stuff," He mused before pulling out a book, "Ah, here we go. Just let me check this out for you..."
"...Spike, why do you have a backside furrier than a squirrel's tail?" Applejack clarified, unamused.
"Twilight and I have been...experimenting with some spells and potions and...things," Spike informed between burps, "Ooo, the smell of gems coming up isn't as good as the taste going down," he lamented as he waved the gases away.
"Isn't that a bit...dangerous for ya?" Applejack asked curiously as she received the book.
"Nah, nah, Twilight knows what she's doing. Besides, she gets worse than she gives," He joked with a smirk.
"...What does that mean, exactly?" Applejack asked uneasily.
"Hi Applejack!" Twilight cheered in greeting, making Applejack jump in alarm.
"Twilight! Ya scared the tar out of...me?" She started off, her shock fading to confusion as she looked around the otherwise empty room, "Twi?"
"Up here!" The unicorn called, making the farmmare look upward...and gape at the upside down Twilight, sitting on the ceiling. Even her mane was in defiance of gravity!
"I...I don't know how to respond to this," Applejack stated slowly.
"Well, the normal response is to return the greeting with your own, sometimes followed by a hug," Twilight suggested helpfully.
"Twilight, why are you on the ceiling?" Applejack asked bluntly.
"Perspective!" Twilight answered with a hoof raised to the...ground, "And let's be fair, this is hardly the weirdest thing you've seen with unicorn magic," Twilight retorted with a grin.
"True, I suppose," Applejack admitted nervously, "You...sure you're feeling alright?"
"Never better!" Twilight assured, jumping up, spinning in midair, and somehow landing on the floor. A bit wobbly, but the landing stuck nonetheless, "Got to work on the landing. Thank buck I'm not a biped," She mused to herself.
"Sugercube, what's going on?" Applejack asked warily.
"Cauterization, hyperexcretion, asphyxiation, ostentation, stigmatization, and etceteration," Twilight answered cheerfully.
Applejack stared owlishly at Twilight, trying to make sense of some of those words as Twilight plucked up the book with her tentacle- wait, what?!
"What in tarnation!?" Applejack yelled as she jumped far back, Spike snickering behind her at her unnerved gazing at the lavender, furless appendage extending from between Twilight's withers.
"Aviquestria, by Ornis Oculi," Twilight read with a curious hum, "Taking up bird watching, Applejack? I'm surprised you didn't just ask Fluttershy for help."
"I j-just need to know if these new birds are bad for the farm- And What In The Name Of Celestia Is THAT!?" Applejack yelled, her mouth having been on autopilot for a moment.
"Hmm?" Twilight asked before following the line of sight to her non-pony appendage, "It's my peripheral muscular hydrostat, of course," she explained casually.
"Eh, r-right, right, of course," Applejack said with a nervous smile as she took the book back, "I'll just...be on my way and...leave you to it," she said as she made a beeline for the door, doing her best to make it look like she wasn't in a hurry.
Twilight and Spike smirked slyly as they heard her scurry off, giving each other a hoofbump...or a claw-tentacle bump, "Well, she is thoroughly freaked out," Spike noted with prankster pride, "How long until you think Dash shows up?"
"I say about three hours, depending on when Applejack finds her taking a nap in one of her trees," Twilight answered off-hoofedly.
"...Are they a thing? Does Rainbow have a crush on AJ or something?" Spike asked thoughtfully.
"There's some tension there, but it may not be romantic," Twilight admitted, slowly grinning, "But that won't stop us from pranking them on Hearts and Hooves Day."
"You are on your own for that one," Spike said with an eye roll.
"And your own will be on that one," Twilight retorted matter-of-factly.
"...I don't want to know what that means," Spike commented warily.
"It means I won't be around to protect you from pranks if you're not helping me," Twilight explained with a small laugh.
"Ohhhhhh!...Yeah, that makes sense. So...Shall We Go Prank Fluttershy?" Spike asked, rather loudly.
"Three, two, one," Twilight counted off as the door suddenly burst open.
"WHAT?!" Pinkie Pie yelled in disbelief, already right next to them. "You can't prank Fluttershy! That is, like, the first and most super-duper rule of pranking!"
"I thought that was not to get caught?" Spike retorted, unphased by Pinkie Pie's frantic warning.
"I thought it was never use the same prank on the same target," Twilight added in.
"Guys, I'm serious! Twilight, I love that you strangely like pranking all of a sudden, but you know how sensitive Fluttershy is!" Pinkie Pie cautioned urgently.
"Yes, but I also know this: Rules are usually more like guidelines, Pinpie,"" Twilight answered with a cheeky smile.
"Twilight, please-!" the party pony stopped as the words registered, "Pinpie? How would you make a pie of pins? That wouldn't taste very good and it'd be all pointy and stabby! Unless it's something that eats metal, but wouldn't the pins melt while baking? Or maybe it'd be a pie shaped like a bowling pin?! *GASP* I have got to make a cake shaped like a giant bowling pin some day! Maybe after one of us joins the bowling team or may-!"
"Twilight left," Spike informed bluntly with his arms crossed.
"...Huh?" Pinkie Pie questioned, looking around with a stunned expression, seeing that the library was indeed missing one lavender unicorn.
"Yeah, she grabbed her saddlebag and left while you rambled," Spike explained with a lazy smirk as he examined his claws.
"Well, that wasn't very nice," Pinkie said with a pout.
"No, Pinkie, that was a distraction," Spike countered with a snicker.
"Spike, don't you realize how bad this is!?" Pinkie Pie demanded nervously.
"Then maybe you want to run and catch her," Spike advised casually.
"You're right! Don't worry Fluttershy, I'll save you from Twilight's prank!...That really doesn't sound right," Pinkie Pie muttered before speed pronking out the door.
Spike rolled his eyes as he rolled his shoulders, "Yeah, like we didn't spend most of the morning figuring out what would be the most perfect yet safe prank to use on Fluttershy. What does Pinkie take us for? Pranks or no pranks, Twilight is still the mare that has checklists for her checklists and I'm the one writing them," he muttered to himself, grimacing as he felt another burp coming up...
Meanwhile
Spike had left out one minor detail: Twilight hadn't walked out of the library, she had teleported. Then again, with Twilight, it was easy to assume either.
Said unicorn of magic appeared in an alley way, "Well, that should keep Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy distracted for a few hours," she said as she took a book out of her pack and opened it, "Phase One complete! Pinkie Pie will be busy protecting Fluttershy and might rope Applejack and Rainbow into it while Rarity is working today. Now all I have to do is Phases Two, Pie and Three before sneaking over to Fluttershy's cottage."
"That would sound rather suspicious if you didn't sound so cheerful about it," a voice called from behind her. She blinked, snapping the book shut before turning to stare owlishly at a rather curious looking Filthy Rich. "Twilight Sparkle," he greeted in interest.
"Podre," she returned with a nod, idly putting her book away.
The earth pony scrunched his brow at that, "Pod-what?"
"Podre de Rico. It's the Coltuguese way of saying Filthy Rich," Twilight explained with a shrug, "You said you don't like being called Filthy."
"...Well, I know what alias I'm using if ever want to pretend to be somepony else for a night," Filthy said in amusement, "But what are you doing here, exactly?"
"I should be the one asking that. Don't you know it's impolite and misleading to sneak up on mares all alone in dark alley ways?" she asked, looking at him in overdramatic mock-suspicion
He gave her a blank expression and pointed to the building to Twilight's right, "My store." he explained before motioning to a nearby dumpster, "My garbage."
"Oh...Well, this is awkward," Twilight admitted, looking up with a thoughtful look, "You know, I always wondered something about you, if you don't mind me asking. Your father and grandfather were named Rich, right?" Twilight asked curiously.
Filthy blinked before shrugging. It was a slow day and he might get a new customer out of this, so why not, "Yes, that's true. How did you know that?" he asked curiously.
"I'm a bibliophilic living in the town library. I can't not know," she stated flatly, before changing back to pondering, "So, why Diamond Tiara?"
"Huh?...Ahh, yes, that," Filthy said, realizing what she meant, "Well, in truth, my wife and I didn't realize she was pregnant until Diamond was about to be born. I was reeling from the notion of fatherhood and joy of seeing my little newborn angel all at once, so I...basically went for the first name that sounded good in my head," he confessed, both fondly and sheepishly.
"And...why not Something-Rich?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Old Earth Pony Tradition. If you marry somepony who by chance already shares part of your name, you don't give your child that name," he answered noncommittally, not knowing the reason to the tradition himself.
'...That raises interesting questions about Big Mac,' Twilight mused to herself, "Better than some unicorn traditions. Horn flossing...," Twilight said with an entire body shudder, "Well, sorry to drop in and drag up sappy memories. Do you have anything to eat I could buy off you to make up for it?" she asked with a grin.
"Only if you promise not to leave a prank in my store," he said with a small scowl. There were enough pranksters in town as it was without a magical one!
"You're not surprised I'm a prankster?" Twilight asked curiously. She was half expecting him to accuse her of being a changeling.
"You're Celestia's student," he countered knowingly.
'Huh, somepony that knows and acknowledges that the Princess pulls pranks,' Twilight thought curiously before standing on her hind legs and docking a mock bow, "You have my solemn vow as a Sparkle of Canterlot that no Twilightian pranks shall be released in your shop," she declared solemnly.
"...You're going to leave it on the roof, aren't you?" Filthy asked in a deadpan voice.
"What? No, no, no!" Twilight said with an unconvincing smile, pulling the book and a quill out of her bag, "Note to self, Filthy Rich is an experienced victim and observer of pranking; Approach with caution."
"You know I can hear you, right?" Filthy asked, amused despite himself.
"Further note, subject may have developed telepathy," she said with a playful grin as she put the book away.
Filthy Rich just rolled his eyes and ushered her inside, "Either come buy something or please stop loitering. Last thing I need is my alley to become the black market of pranking plans and supplies."
"Whatever you say, Podre," Twilight said as she headed inside, 'Besides, this deals with phase two and phase pie at the same time.'
"By the way, what is that lump under your saddle?" Filthy asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Peripheral muscular hydrostat."
Author's Note
Beta: Dragon_Wizard91
Well, here's the new chapter! Twilight is freaking out her friends rather thoroughly and had an interesting, random talk with Filthy Rich. I figure between his fatherliness and most ponies generally being easy going, he'd be the type to love telling how his little Diamond was born.
And yes, Twilight has a tentacle (There will be no hentai here! Maybe Hen-Ties though) and will be off to prank Fluttershy soon. Safely, somehow.
To clear up any confusion, this is after the Canterlot Wedding and the Crystal Empire, but before Discord's release.
