The Princess of Mares

by lavendernoodle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 1462

Twilight is now the Princess of Mares. She is unaware of when and how this happened.

Twilight is now the Princess of Mares. She is unaware of when and how this happened.

(sort of a sequel to You're...You're Serious? but this isn't a human story so yeah)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-19 06:30:01 UTC

The Princess of What?

It began as nothing but a small giggle. It rumbled in her throat for a moment, until she let it escape. Pinkie turned to face Twilight, an eyebrow raised. "What in Equestria are you laughing about?" As much as she liked hearing it, Pinkie knew Twilight's laugh was a bit...special.

Pinkie smiled as she watched Twilight bust a gut on the kitchen floor. Finally, she caught her breath, wiped the tears from her eyes and stood. "Did you read this?" she asked, floating the letter she was reading Pinkie's direction.

"No," said the pink mare. She read it and then began giggling as well. "All of them?"

"I honestly can't believe it," said Twilight. She scooped a few more oats into her mouth and then chuckled. "Her own brother refused to come to their wedding, and then forgot?"

Pinkie dried her eyes, setting down the letter. "I feel bad for Dashie. It must be hard to tell that many ponies, all at once, that you aren't interested. Even better, that you're married."

Twilight looked upwards, frowning as she pushed her bangs from her eyes. "I don't. Dash is tough, and stallions are so easily hurt."

Pinkie nodded. "Well, thank Celestia four mares aren't in love with her."

Twilight nodded along before hearing the doorbell ring. "I'll get it."

She walked to the door, expecting no more than one of her friends coming to invite the two to brunch (seeing as it was already eleven o'clock) or a citizen of Ponyville coming to congratulate her and Pinkie on their wedding. It seemed to be a big hit, as well as a source for many new rumors about the Princess of Friendship, leaving Twilight relieved and worried at the same time.

But the mare at the door was neither of those ponies. "Celestia!"

The Princess smiled. "Twilight, you had not informed me that you'd moved in with Pinkamena. I was searching for you all over Ponyville."

Twilight poked her head out the doorway, still seeing the crowded Ponyville square. "...Well, our house isn't that hard to spot. There's always a balloon here or a streamer there. Or you could've just asked-"

"Could'a, should'a, would'a, dear Twilight." Celestia frowned. "So...may I come in?"

Twilight was shocked by the realization of her rudeness. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Princess! Please, make yourself at home."

As Celestia entered and walked around, glancing at the decor, she said, "Twilight, as much as you know I love you calling me that, there is simply no reason for it!"

Twilight frowned. "I think there is. We are not equals, Pri...Celestia."

Celestia laughed. "You are correct five minutes ago, Twilight Sparkle. I have come here to share with you some exhilarating news."

Pinkie turned the corner from the kitchen, and opened her mouth to welcome the Princess to their home. But before she could say her greeting, Celestia raised a hoof to silence her. "One moment, dear Pinkamena. I'd advise that you give us a moment of privacy."

Pinkie opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut. As she turned to walk down the hallway to the bedroom, she mumbled, "It's Pinkie now."

Celestia entered the kitchen frowning. "Do you have any bananas?"

"Any...what?"

"Nevermind." Celestia plopped down on a seat at the table. "Twilight, sit." When Twilight did as she was told, Celestia went on. "You see, we are now equals. As of now, you have a new title."

Twilight grinned. "Really? What have I done to earn it?"

"Marry Pinkamena, obviously."

Twilight frowned. "Wait. Princess Cadence is already Princess of Love."

Celestia burst into laughter. "That old [censored]? Are you kidding? She's as straight as a ruler. She doesn't know love like we do."

"We? P-Celestia, I'm confused."

Twilight scooted back as Celestia reached for her chin. "Don't be, mi amore. You are the Princess of Mares. I've come to congratulate you in a special way."

As Twilight blushed, Celestia leaned in with a kiss. "With love..."

With a flash of pink magic, Twilight was gone. When she opened her eyes, she saw Pinkie Pie making the bed. "Pinkie-"

"Ah!" Pinkie turned around. "Didn't we agree, no teleportation used for scaring?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Natural reflex, I guess."

Pinkie looked into Twilight's purple eyes and saw that they were filled with worry. "Reflex? To get out of what?"

Twilight bit her lip. "Celestia tried to kiss me!"

"Wait...what?" Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Why would she-"

"I don't know!" Twilight racked her brain, searching for a possible answer. "She's gone crazy! That's the only explanation!"

"Calm down, hon. It's probably just a prank." Pinkie delicately held her wife's face in her hoof. "I mean, with Discord around all the time-"

The front door slammed open once again. Soon enough, a certain Princess' Royal Canterlot Voice was heard throughout the entire house (as well as the rest of Ponyville, probably).

"SISTER, WE HAVE HEARD OF THOU'S ATTEMPT TO WOO THE YOUNG PRINCESS OF LOVE! ALAS, THOU HAS FAILED, AND WE SHALL NOW HAVE OUR ATTEMPT!"

"Luna, you're ruining this for me! I don't know where Twilight teleported to! And why would you ever want to woo her?"

"WE HAVE ALWAYS FELT A DEEP CONNECTION TO THE PURPLE PRINCESS! WE SHALL STOP AT NOTHING TO EARN HER SMALL, FRAIL HOOF IN HOLY MARETRIMONY!"

Twilight frowned as she examined her hoof. "I wouldn't call it frail..."

Pinkie opened the door. "Let's go see if they're ready to admit."

"Admit what?"

"GAH!" The mares turned around to see a familiar face. "Starlight?"

The lavender mare was grinning from ear to ear. "That's me! Listen, this might be a bad time, but I just have to show you something!"

"Er, could it wait?" Twilight rubbed her neck. "There's something really strange going on right now-"

"It'll just take a minute." Starlight teleported the two mares to her room in the Crystal Castle. "Ta da!"

Sprinkled across her bed, hundreds of rose petals spelled, "Marry me, Princess of Mares!"

Twilight face-hoofed. "Oh Celestia...Are you serious?"

"Nope!" Starlight was still grinning. "I love you, and I always have! I never really had the guts to say it...But I guess I had never really noticed. I thought I got the normal warm, fuzzy feeling from friendship, not love..."

Twilight cringed. "In front of my wife? Really?"

Starlight nodded, somehow oblivious to the problem.

Before Twilight could press questions any further, she heard some yelling coming from outside.

"She's mine! I came from the human world just to see her!"

"Are you kidding? She obviously ignored me for years just to make me want her more!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Twilight walked over to the window and slammed it open. "Sunset Shimmer? Moondancer?"

"Twilight!" The mares said in unison.

"You came all the way here to try and woo me, too? What is wrong with everypony?" Twilight rubbed her temples and groaned. "Don't you know I'm...married?"

Realization hit Twilight like a brick. "Oh my Celestia."

A faint chuckle was heard in the distance. Soon enough, a familiar creature had flown to the scene unfolding before Twilight, laughing to himself.

"Discord!"

Pinkie stuck her head out the window. "I knew it!"

Discord wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh, you should've seen the look on your face, dearest Twilight!"

"Why would you do something like that?"

"Well, when Fluttershy told me all about the little incident with Rainbow Dash, I just had to try it out!" He snapped his fingers, levitating Sunset, Moondancer, Starlight, Celestia, and Luna to him. "A simple mind control spell, and wham! The Princess of Mares is the newest Equestrian sensation!"

"That's not funny, Discord," said Pinkie, who obviously that that it was a little funny.

"I thought Molestia was back," said Twilight.

Discord snapped his fingers again, and the mares were absorbed by a large, white light. Soon enough, they were released and landed on the ground. Most groaned and rubbed their temples. "What happened?" Sunset asked.

"WE REMEMBERETH THE WHOLE THING. SISTER, SEND THEM TO THE MOON!"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "This isn't even the worst thing Discord has done to us this century. Last May I woke up in the banana factory-"

"WE WOULD ADVISE THEE NOT TO GOETH THERE, DEAR SISTER. THERE MAY BE FOALS PRESENT."

Celestia shrugged. "Discord, apologize."

Discord grinned. "Ah, yes, Princess Stickupherbutt. I am incredibly sorry for causing such a harmless event, even though it was hilarious."

Twilight looked at Pinkie, who shrugged. "Works for me."

After the mares and Discord had said their farewells and parted ways, Pinkie and Twilight walked back home. "I'd say...two weeks."

Pinkie looked to her wife. "What?"

Twilight smiled. "Oh, I just thought you asked how long I thought it would be until Spike is crowned King of Dragons."