Author's Note
Is anyone interested in reading a story like this?
Also, just so you all know, I will probably refer to Appledash a few times in this story, but you do NOT have to ship it to read this. When I said this is a story for everyone I meant it. I won't be going overboard with the shipping.
Also, this story takes place before season 3... because it kinda has to for the purpose of my story.
Prologue
"Twilight, I have those books you -"
"SURPRISE!"
"Aaaack!" Spike shrieked in an unbecomingly high register, inadvertently dropping the pile of books he was holding with a thud. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, checking to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating.
He wasn't. Six ponies had just jumped out at him from behind one of the sofas situated in Twilight's library. And behind them was...
A disaster. Or one of Pinkie Pie's party setups. It was hard to tell the difference.
Streamers and balloons hung haphazardly from the ceiling in no pattern whatsoever. A large banner that read 'Happy Birthday Spikey-Wikey' in graceful, precise script (well, it was no secret who had written that!) was attached to the door - the only aspect of the room that even slightly suggested neatness. The rest of the library was a mass of flashing lights, confetti, cupcake frosting, and food tables.
As Spike stood there, staring, trying and failing to take it all in, a pink and purple polka-dotted hat was suddenly jammed on his head. "Surpriiiise!" a high-pitched voice sang out cheerfully. Its owner, a pink pony with a wayward curly mane, dropped to the floor (had she been standing on the ceiling, or what?) and beamed. "It's your birthday today! And Twilight told me! And then I thought we, well, me, had to plan a party! So I got all the girls together and we did a bunch of party stuff like cake and cupcakes and balloons and confetti and then we waited here for you to come back from wherever you went and we jumped out from behind the sofa to surprise you and you know the rest and ARE YOU SURPRISED?! Are you are you are you???"
Spike blinked, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of questions. He decided that the best course of action was to pretend to be totally macho and act like he'd cleverly suspected this the whole time. Of course, his entire motive for doing so was the alabaster, purple-maned pony standing just a few feet away, staring at him with bright eyes... those bright blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds in the moonlight...
Ahem. Right. Spike cleared his threat and casually used a claw to slick back his green spikes. "Why, of course not," he said smoothly, giving what he hoped was a deep and suave chuckle. "I knew you guys were going to throw me a party all along!"
All of a sudden, Pinkie's bubbly demeanor vanished as her mane and tail flattened with a sad sighing noise. "Y-you did?" she sniffled, her eyes swimming with tears.
Spike gulped; the only thing worse than embarrassing himself in front of Rarity was making one of his friends cry. After a moment of slight hesitation, he dropped the act and hastened to reassure her. "Uh, no, heh, of course I didn't! I was... totally surprised."
"Really?" she whispered miserably, her eyes huge and scared. She really did prize herself on her ability to throw a surprise party.
The little dragon patted her awkwardly on the back. "Really. Dragons usually don't even celebrate their birthdays, so..."
"WHAAAAAT?" Pinkie shrieked, her mane and tail suddenly inflating again. "Are you kidding me?! No wonder you look so grumpy all the time. You've never even had a birthday party before!"
He frowned. "Hey!"
Pinkie didn't seem to notice. "Oh my gosh this is a disaster we gotta get this party going! I'm going to get the music started!" She zoomed away, her hooves churning so quickly it looked like she was actually floating a few inches above the ground.
Wait a second, she was floating a few inches above the ground...
Spike squinted at her hooves but had no further time to investigate this anomaly, as the rest of his friends swarmed forward to investigate him. Twilight, naturally, was first. "Happy birthday, Spike!" she cried enthusiastically, giving him a little hug. "I can't believe it... you're getting so old..."
"And more good-looking?" he asked hopefully, checking out his muscles in the hope that they might have actually become visible since yesterday.
"Oh, certainly," Rarity promised, daintily tossing her rich purple curls. "You certainly are becoming quite the dashing little dragon, Spikey-Wikey!"
"Well, well, well," he smirked to Twilight, wiggling his eyebrows. Rarity thought he was good-looking! Now he could die happy. No, wait, not yet. He needed to figure out a way to save Rarity from an evil monster first, so that, as her knight in shining armor, he could ask for a passionate kiss...
His thoughts, which were rapidly becoming more and more inappropriate, were rudely interrupted by Twilight. "Spike, are those my books?"
Spike jumped and hastily picked them up from the ground. "Yeah, I had to walk all the way over to the other end of town to get - wait a second. Did you just send me over there so you could set up this party?"
The unicorn shuffled her hooves and grinned sheepishly. "Guilty as charged..."
Spike's mouth fell open. "But I walked twenty miles!"
"Well, exercise is good for you."
"Says the unicorn who teleports everywhere," he muttered rudely.
Twilight ignored him and used her horn to levitate the books and rifle through them. "Ooooh, Issac Neighton mentions something about integral calculus here... I need to check this equation... can someone get me paper and a pencil?"
"Not happening, Sparkle," a cracked voice said firmly from above. Rainbow Dash hovered over their heads, eyeing the books disdainfully. "You're not gonna spoil Spike's birthday with any of your egghead business. Am I right or am I right? Or am I awesome?" she added smugly.
All of a sudden she was yanked out of the air by her polychromatic tail. "Now don' go tootin' yore own horn, Dash," Applejack scolded her, ignoring her marefriend's yelp of surprise as her back hit the floor, and placing a firm hoof on her chest. "Or so help me, Ah'll take away that barrel o' cider ya got under yore bed that ya think Ah don't know about!"
The pegasus wailed and threw herself at Applejack's hooves. "Noooooo! You wouldn't dare!"
"Ah would an' Ah'd do it with a smile on mah face," she replied firmly. Then she let Rainbow up, dusted off her hooves, and turned to face Spike, her honest face shining with warmth. "Happy birthday, sugarcube. An' please pardon mah idiot marefriend."
"I am NOT - mmmph!" The rest of Dash's words were muffled as Applejack shoved a hoof over her mouth without even looking at her.
Spike had to chuckle at their antics. They got more adorable together every time he saw them. "Thanks, Applejack. Hey - where's Fluttershy?"
With a reluctant sigh, Twilight levitated her books over to a distant corner as she answered his question. "I'm not sure. I know she's in here somewhere... probably hiding from all the noise..."
"Actually, um, I'm right here," a familiar soft voice murmured.
Everpony yelped and whirled around. Fluttershy was standing right behind them, gently scuffing her hoof on the floor as she patiently waited to be noticed.
"Good grief!" Twilight exclaimed, recovering herself. "Where did you come from?!"
"Yeah, those are some awesome sneaking skills! I literally had no idea you were there!" Rainbow gave Fluttershy a friendly nudge to the back that almost knocked the delicate pegasus over.
Her smile quickly faded. "Oh - oh no - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare anypony," she said timidly.
Dash scoffed. "That wasn't scary at all. You're just really good at blending in with things."
Anypony else would have taken that as an insult, but Fluttershy seemed pleased. "Really?"
Applejack, on the other hoof, frowned at Rainbow Dash, looking dangerously close to dragging her back down by her tail again. "Now hold on a pony-pickin' minute. Ah heard you yelp jus' as loud as the rest of us."
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
As the two mares glared daggers at each other, Spike felt the need to intervene before they started wrestling (although he personally thought it would be a short fight - there was no way Rainbow Dash could hope to beat Applejack, whose muscles had been hardened by countless years of labor). "Alright, you two," he interrupted, holding up his claws placatingly. "Why don't we, you know, move on and go get some cake?"
"CAKE!!!" Pinkie Pie shrieked from right next to the group, her neck stretching unnaturally to allow her head to zoom all the way across the room and then snap back again.
They all stared at her, looking shell-shocked, as she went about her business, acting as though nothing had happened. "Ooooh-kay," Twilight said slowly, rubbing her eyes with her hooves. "I... let's just pretend that didn't happen and get some food, alright?"
They all chorused their agreement, and Applejack tilted her trusty Stetson at a cocky angle and flashed Spike a cheerful grin. "Sure thang! Let's git this shindig started!"
***
A few hours later, the group of seven sat around the fireplace, laughing and sharing stories as the evening wore on. The food, which had consisted mostly of Twilight's weird 'healthy options' such as carrot salads and Applejack's much-tastier, hearty farm fare, had already been ravaged. Pinkie Pie had very kindly baked Spike an enormous gem cake, which had also been consumed....
... mostly by him. The little dragon sighed and massaged his protruding stomach. He was going to need to exercise for weeks to work that off.
Pinkie Pie's odd dance music pulsed faintly in the background as Rainbow Dash continued her story. "So I was up there in Clousdale, trying to imitate you guys to get the Wonderbolts to like me. And I was like, 'Go ahead an' call me "Forthright Filly" if ya want. But sheeeee-yucks, Ah -"
Applejack interrupted her with a sigh of pure exasperation. "Rainbow Danger Dash, yore gonna git some real danger if ya keep talkin' like that. Ya sound like a pirate or somethin'. Ah do not talk like that!"
"Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that," Rainbow shot back, her eyes gleaming wickedly.
Spike snorted a little as Applejack fumed in silence, unable to think of a reply, and Rainbow kept talking. "Everypony got so mad at me by the end, their faces were redder than Big Mac's butt."
Applejack's silence came to a rapid end. "Hey! Don' go makin' fun o' mah brother!"
"Darling, she isn't," Rarity assured her soothingly. "Big Mac is a delightful stallion. And -" she smiled with a hint of mischievousness - "he smells just wonderful. After all, you've told us many times that Macintosh apples are supposed to be especially fragrant..."
Applejack frowned, probably wondering whether or not this was intended to be another barb, but then a tiny smile creased her muzzle. "Yeah, Ah reckon he does," she smirked. "An' it prob'ly has somethin' t' do with that 'Scent Palace: Fresh Daisy' perfume thingy he keeps in th' bathroom..."
Everypony roared with laughter, and Applejack joined in, chuckling deeply, her emerald eyes twinkling. Pinkie Pie, to Spike's amusement, was lying on the floor with all four of her hooves in the air, laughing fit to burst.
Spike hiccuped, overcome by giggles, and settled back contentedly in his chair. Sitting in front of a roaring fire, full of gems and surrounded by his best friends, he'd never felt more at peace. The only thing missing was -
"You know, I think it's high time we gave our little Spike his present," Rarity piped up unexpectedly, her ladylike fit of dainty laughter subsiding.
Sweet Celestia, we really are meant for each other! She read my mind! Spike could practically feel little hearts popping out of his eyes.
There was a chorus of agreement as everypony else's laughter slowly died out, and Spike felt the atmosphere become charged with energy as excitement rippled through the room. He sat up a little straighter in his chair.
Twilight drew in a deep breath and gave a slight cough that was only slightly less affected than the one she always gave before she started a lecture. "Ahem. So, as you may have noticed, Spike, there are no physical presents in the room. This is because we wanted to do something a little different this year. We wanted to give you some more freedom to choose... which is why, I'm proud to announce, your present this year is going to be whatever you want it to be!"
Spike stuck a claw in his ear and waggled it around. There was no way he'd heard that properly.
"Yes, I did say whatever you want it to be!" Twilight continued. "You heard right. This year, the six of us are going to give you anything you ask for. Anything at all."
He fell back in his chair, his mouth open wide enough to swallow a whole plateful of gems. Holy Celestia... the possibilities. All sorts of scenarios raced through his mind. "So... anything?" he asked, his voice coming out a little greedier than he had intended.
Twilight's smile faded a little. She knew that tone of voice, and it didn't bode well.
Applejack, however, was a little more trusting, perhaps unwisely. "Anythin'," she promised firmly. "Cross mah heart an' hope t' fly, stick a cupcake in mah eye." The others were quick to give Pinkie Promises of their own, even Twilight, after a moment of initial reluctance.
Spike rubbed his claws together gleefully. Now they couldn't break their promises, or Pinkie would probably bake them all into a giant batch of cupcakes. And then eat them. Or do something else equally horrifying.
Yeah. You don't break a Pinkie Promise.
"So what do you want?" Pinkie prompted him eagerly. "Gems? Cake? Gem cake? Or maybe regular cake? Or maybe - mmmphmphhphh?"
Twilight had just clamped a hoof over her mouth (although it didn't stop her from talking). "Okay, Pinkie, let's just wait for Spike to tell us."
Spike rubbed his chin thoughtfully and leaned back in his chair, his claws gripping the armrest. Possibilities, possibilities... what should he ask for? Maybe he should just ask for some gems...
No, no. Too ordinary. He needed to ask for something that, normally, nopony in their right mind would ever give him. After all, they had Pinkie Promised to give him whatever he wanted; he should take advantage of that.
What about asking Rarity to work on Sweet Apple Acres for a day? Just to see the look on her face? Spike allowed himself a grin as he pictured the horror in her eyes... and the shininess of her alabaster coat as she toiled under the sun...
He shook his head hastily. That idea would never do.
Well, maybe he could ask Applejack to run Carousel Boutique for a day. That would be equally hilarious.
But the entertainment would only last for a day... only a day...
And then it hit him. The most ingenious idea he'd ever had - a way to stretch out his present for thirty days. Thirty days of hilarity and ridiculousness and pure horror... at least for the ponies who would have to participate.
A wicked smile spread across Spike's face, and he could practically feel his spines quivering with excitement as he cleared his throat in a businesslike manner and stood up. "Okay, everypony. I've -"
"TELL US TELL US TELL US!" Pinkie Pie was two inches away from his face in an instant and had to be physically restrained by Applejack.
Spike took a deep breath. "Alright. Okay, so this is winter, right? Rarity, your busy season won't start until spring when customers start coming to get dresses for outdoor dances. Right?"
"Right, dear," she said uncertainly, her eyes flickering doubtfully. "But...?"
"Everything will be explained," he promised. "Rainbow Dash - your weather team work is pretty easy right now, because it's just clouds. And other cloud stuff. Right?" She nodded from her spot next to Applejack, her wing wrapped around her marefriend's back. "Applejack can't grow anything right now, so she doesn't have that much stuff to do on the farm. Fluttershy, most of your animals are in hibernation right now, aren't they?"
"Um... yes," she said hesitantly. "But, um, they'll be back in spring, so..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." He hadn't, but he wasn't going to say that. "Sugarcube is in its off season because we have fewer out-of-town customers, right?"
"Yuppers!" Pinkie sang out cheerfully.
"Yeah. And the library... well, the library is pretty much never busy, because nopony ever comes to the library anyway."
"Hey!" Twilight looked annoyed.
"You know it's true!" Spike protested.
"Yeah, it is, but what's your point?" Rainbow asked impatiently in her cracked voice.
"My point is that you guys have basically nothing to do until winter is over. Right?"
"Well, that's a little crude, darling... but essentially, yes, I suppose so," Rarity replied dubiously.
Spike cackled with glee; his plan was coming together perfectly. "Perfect. Then for my birthday this year -" he paused for dramatic effect - "I want all of you to trade places with each other."
There was a chorus of 'what?'s. Spike, anticipating this, continued immediately. "I want each of you to spend a day taking the place of the other five. For example, Applejack - you would have to live like Twilight for a day, then Rainbow Dash, then Fluttershy, then Pinkie Pie, then Rarity. And, to make things more interesting, you have to give me... hmmm, let's say ten bits every time you give up before the day is over."
Applejack looked distinctly horrified at the prospect of having to live like Rarity for a day. "Sugarcube, do ya think ya could reconsider -"
"YOU MADE A PINKIE PROMISE!" Pinkie shrieked. "No breaking it! Or you know what will happen! Well, you don't cause I don't know either, BUT IT WON'T BE GOOD!!!"
"You can't break it either, hon," Applejack pointed out.
Her ears drooped. "Oh yeah," she said in a small voice.
Rainbow Dash smirked a little. "Haha, you're getting a taste of your own medicine... now you know what it feels like to get stuck having to come through on a Pinkie Promise!"
Spike cleared his throat. "Um, guys? Do any of you want to know the rules?"
Twilight Sparkle heaved a resigned sigh. "Not really... since we did say we'd give you whatever we wanted, I suppose we don't have a chance. We're listening. Well, most of us," she added doubtfully, eyeing Fluttershy, who was curled up in a trembling little ball on the floor with her hooves over her eyes (probably because she was imagining having to live like Pinkie Pie for a day).
The dragon cleared his throat self-importantly. "Right. Here we go. So all of you are going to try living like each other for a day. That's... let's see, that's..."
"Thirty," Twilight put in helpfully. "That's thirty days. Six ponies, each of whom spends five days living like her friends, so that makes -"
"Yes, Twilight, I can count," he snapped. "Right, so that's a month. And while one pony is busy, the other five - and me, of course - will be watching... with a camera." There was a collective groan of dismay. "Twilight can take care of any of the magic, like giving you all wings so you can do Rainbow's weather pony stuff."
"That doesn't sound too bad," Rainbow stated slowly.
"Oh, no. There's a catch." He grinned wickedly; this was the fun part. "You don't just have to try a day living like everypony else. You have to imitate them too. I guess you don't have to do accents and stuff, but you have to be able to act like them. If you can go a whole day without going majorly out of character, then you win. If you can't... then you have to pay me ten bits. Does everypony understand?"
Twilight Sparkle was the first to express what they were all thinking. "Oh my sweet Celestia."
"We're screwed," Rainbow moaned.
Fluttershy whimpered and sank even lower to the ground, if that was even possible. "Oh, I know this is really, really mean - but - I am not happy right now," she whispered.
Rarity soothingly rubbed her back with a hoof, her own face looking white (well, even whiter than usual). "There, there, darling. I don't like this arrangement either, but since this is what Spike wants for his birthday, I shall try to be brave for him."
Spike beamed. "Great! Then all of you can report back here tomorrow morning and we'll get started."
Silence reigned in the library as all the ponies simply sat there, shell-shocked, picturing with horror the various indignities they were going to have to undergo in the next thirty days. Applejack making dresses? Rarity running the farm? Rainbow Dash minding the library? Pinkie Pie controlling the weather? Fluttershy throwing parties? Twilight taking care of a horde of animals?
Spike cackled evilly. Oh yeah. This was going to be epic.
