Tryouts

Instructions for reading:

1. Do not.

"My place or yours?" Twilight Sparkle asked her lover. She wrote the words onto a small, enchanted chalk board. It was a running joke for the couple. Each had a castle. And neither could leave one for the other in a permanent way. But it didn't mean that they always slept alone. To the contrary. Often it meant an overnight stay. Usually Twilight would stay in Canterlot for the night. Other times...

"Yours," Princess Celestia's reply appeared on Twilight's chalkboard tablet. "Just as soon as I lower the sun." Twilight read the words and squealed with delight. She got up from her desk chair and walked over to the window of her castle in Ponyville. She looked to the silhouette of Canterlot, perched on the side of the mountain to the north. Twilight waited and tried to will the sun to set just a little sooner. But just as with boiling water, watching only served to make it take longer.

Twilight let out a flustered huff and trotted downstairs to the living room. She paced a bit until the diffuse light coming through the crystal windows dimmed to dusk. Twilight scurried onto the couch and took a seductive pose. After a moment, there was a flash of bright yellow light. Celestia teleported into the room. Behind the couch.

"Twilight?" Celestia called out. Twilight scrambled and climbed around on the couch to face her.

"Right here." Celestia turned to face her, greeting her with a kiss. Spike appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Here tonight, again?" he asked. Neither mare broke the kiss to acknowledge him. "Alright, fine!" Spike went back to his room and dug out his own enchanted chalkboard. After scribbling a few words, he vanished in a flash of blue magic. Celestia smirked.

"My sister has been quite congenial lately," Celestia commented. "I believe we have your number-one-assistant to thank for that."

"Don't make me think about that, please." Twilight said, trying to block out the mental image of Spike and Luna... getting busy.

"Alright. Tonight it's just you an me, my love," Celestia said as she kissed her again.

"Oh, by the way, look what I have!" Twilight said. She opened her bag and took out The Pony Sutra, giving it to her. Celestia smiled.

"Oh, we don't need this," she said.

"I just thought that it might give us some ideas to try," Twilight said with a coy grin. Celestia gave her back the book.

"Twilight, who do you think wrote that?" she asked. Twilight looked at author's name on the cover.

"Castiele," Twilight said. Celestia waited. Twilight sighed and smacked her forehead, recognizing the anagram.

"Let's not worry about any of this tonight," Celestia said. "Let's just have a nice, stress-free evening to ourselves." The mirror portal hummed and shimmered.

"Oh no," Twilight groaned. You just had to say it. Moondancer fell out of the mirror and Sunset Shimmer landed on top of her.

"Twilight! You- Oh, Princess Celestia!" Sunset did a quick bow, as did Moondancer. "Twilight, you've got to help me!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I'm pregnant!"

Twilight blinked for a minute, unsure of what Sunset meant by 'help'. She asked the most relevant question on her mind.

"Who is the stallion- er, father?" Twilight asked.

"You!" Sunset said.

"Um... no?" Twilight said. "You would need a stallion. And this may come as a surprise, but, I'm a mare."

"You're the only pony I've had sex with!" Sunset said. Twilight gave her a sideways look and then at Moondancer. "I mean, you're the only pony I've had sex with that had a penis!" Celestia gave Twilight a strange look.

"Futanari spell," Twilight explained. Celestia mouthed an 'ah' in understanding. "It was just that, Sunset. A futanari spell. And you can't get anypony pregnant with that spell, even if I wanted to. Even a full gender-change spell results in a sterile pony."

"She's right, Sunset," Celestia confirmed.

"I tried telling her," Moondancer said.

"But I AM pregnant!" Sunset said. "I took the test twice and a doctor confirmed it. Based on the timing, it has to have happened while I was here with you!" Twilight though a moment.

"And you swear that there is no possible way that you've been with another stallion- er, male?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, wait here," Twilight said.

Where are you going?" Sunset asked.

"To talk to the only pony that could cause a problem this big."

...

Outside, Twilight knocked on the door of Trixie's rocking caravan.

"Go away!"

"Trixie, open the door!"

"Twilight, you know the rules," Starlight's voice yelled, If the wagon's a-rock'n-"

"Open the damn door!" Twilight yelled. Starlight opened the door.

"This better be important!" Starlight said.

"Sunset is pregnant." Twilight said.

"Great. I'll send her a card," Starlight said. Twilight stopped her from closing the door.

"She got pregnant while she was here. Any idea how that could have happened? Trixie!? I'm looking in your direction!"

"Well I never!" Trixie balked. "What in the world makes you think I would do that?"

"What in the world make you think she could do that?" Starlight added.

"Starlight!" Trixie cried.

"I don't mean because of your magic. I mean because futa spells and gender-change spells don't make it possible to breed," Starlight explained. "There still has to be a real stallion with real sperm to... oh- oh SHIT!"

"What?"

"Sunburst!"

"Sunburst?"

"Sunburst visited while you were in Canterlot that week with Sunset," Starlight said. "He- I mean, we-" Twilight narrowed her eyes at her, feeling a bit betrayed. But it didn't answer he question. Sunburst and Sunset were never in the same bed. Hell, they were never in the same town.

"So why is Sunset pregnant, then!?" Twilight asked.

"When we... did it, he came inside. I used a contraceptive spell on myself, but... when Sunset came back we... shared a dildo. That must be how... it happened." Twilight groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "What do we do?" Starlight asked. "I mean, what are we going to tell Sunset?"

"I'll talk to her," Twilight said. She closed the door and left the caravan. She walked back through the castle doors. Inside she could hear the happy sounds of laughter.

".... oh thank you, Princess! You're the best!" Sunset Shimmer said. She turned and saw Twilight coming back inside. "Twilight!" She trotted over and hugged Twilight. "It doesn't matter who the father is! This is going to be great!"

"Oh?" Twilight asked. Sunset wiped the tears from her eyes. They were tears of joy now.

"Princess Celestia said she would help with everything!" Sunset said excitedly.

"Oh?"

"Yes, Twilight," Celestia said. "Moondancer told me that when she and Sunset had entered their relationship, they were both ponies that did not want to have foals. So I have offered to adopt Sunset's foal. After all, you and I had talked about possibly adopting one day and... it seems that fate has given us a unique opportunity."

"Oh?"

"We could combine our foal-shower with your wedding-shower!" Sunset said. Twilight glared at Celestia.

"That announcement was supposed to be a surprise," Twilight said.

"Surprise!" Celestia said.

"And, Celestia said that once the foal is born, she would have Sunburst be our foal's Crystaler!" Sunset said. "I can't wait to see him again!"

"Again?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah!" Sunset said. "I haven't seen my brother in years!"

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