Author's Note

The MatureSex tag becomes applicable starting now! Clop ahoy!

Make Lesbian, Not War.

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Oxyphenbutazone is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. A chemical. Twilight Sparkle had studied it at one point or another over her illustrious academia career at her School for Gifted Unicorns as Princess Celestia's protege. And ponies, she found, were very similar to chemicals. It was an analogy she had come to like very much in her approach to her study of either subject.

"You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them?
No! They're going to lie through their lying little chemical teeth.
But if you throw them in a beaker and apply heat..."

~~~~~

Twilight could hear the commotion coming from downstairs. She ran from her bedchambers, down the hallway of the second floor towards the balcony overlooking the foyer, and living room. As she neared, she could see flashes of light, bouts of fire and arcane electrical bolts arcing up through the air.

"That's not friendship," she said, peering over the edge. Trixie and Sunset cowered with their protective wards behind the flipped table.

"ELECTROCUTION! 17 points!" Moondancer yelled, sending a bolt of lightning at Starlight. Starlight caught the bolt, and redirected its energy into her own spell.

"Here's as 19-point word for you: CONFLAGRATION!" Starlight screamed, flinging a blast of fire at Moondancer.

"Aww," Twilight said, putting a hoof to her cheek, "They're flirting!"

The waves of flame rolled off of Moondancer's shield, scorching the books on the shelf behind her. Twilight gasped.

"My books!" Twilight's horn glowed a bright, iridescent purple. "ARMISTICE!" she shouted with the unbridled power of the full, Canterlot Voice. Her spell blasted forth into the cavernous room with a mighty shock wave. Freezing everypony and everything in place with a lavender aura. Even the fire and lightning bolts froze in mid air. "13 points," Twilight continued, to speak, in her normal, yet loud, speaking voice as she trotted down the stairs into the living room. She pulled the very magic from the combat spells suspended in the air, causing them to be evaporated and absorbed.

"Restore!" Twilight shouted. The room shimmered and trembled, rearranging itself. The furniture reset itself. She saw the game that had caused all the trouble put itself back in its box. The books, returned to the shelves un-burnt, along with the game. "RECONCILIATION," she said to the group, levitating them together in front of her. "18 points." She pushed Starlight and Moondancer closer together as Twilight held them in her magical grasp like life-sized dolls. She released her magic on their heads, to let them move freely.

"She started it!"
"No! You started it you little cunt-rag! I'll fucking finish it!"
"You better shut your mouth before I FUCK it!"
"Don't threaten me with a good time! I'll hate-fuck the shit outta you you little-"

"Shhhh," Twilight re-froze them with her magic and calmly shushed them. "HOMOSEXUALITY," she purred. "28 points."

Each of them stared at the other, an inch apart.

"Now... kiss and make up." Twilight released their heads and pushed them together. Each of them craned their necks back away from each other.

"Twilight, please-" Moondancer begged.

"Shhh, shhh." Twilight shushed again and gave each of them a little push, mashing their lips together.

"You know, I really don't like having to do this," Twilight said, holding them kissing in place. "As the Princess of Friendship, I was really hoping that friends of mine would be able to be friends with each other." She let them go for a moment, letting them pull apart and catch their breath.

"Twilight," Starlight gasped, "you can't do this to MMffff-!" Twilight cut her off, pushing her into another kiss.

"Starlight Glimmer," Twilight said, "I should think that you of all ponies could appreciate the irony of your free will being taken away. And Moondancer! I expected better than this of you! Both of you! This is the kind of behavior I would have expected from Trixie!"

"Hmf!" Trixie huffed, still held frozen beside Sunset Shimmer. Twilight pulled them apart again, turning each of them around so they faced in opposite directions.

"Make lesbian, not war," Twilight said. She lifted their tails and brought their backsides together, making their other lips kiss. Moondancer and Starlight each gasped at the unexpected contact, each feeling the warm wetness of the other rubbing their own.

"I'm just so disappointed," Twilight sighed, pressing them together more firmly. "Because you two have so much in common. I think you could be great friends if you just gave each other a chance." Trixie and Sunset, still frozen in place, could only look on from underneath the action, watching the other two marehoods rubbing together. Twilight spread Starlight's and Moondancer's legs, moving them together in a scissoring motion, rubbing and sliding their spread pussies together more effectively.

"You could be such great... best friends." Twilight carefully maneuvered each of them in midair spreading their growing wetness onto each other. "You're both so smart, and talented. There's so much that you could talk about, and work on together." Twilight continued to further their forced tribadism, occasionally making their winking clitorises graze together.

"Mhhmph!" Moondancer moaned. "Oh, Twilight-"

"Oh, don't thank me," Twilight said, "You should be thanking Starlight here. She's the one making you feel so good right now."

"Nggh!" she moaned again, unwilling to say the words.

"That's okay," Twilight said, pulling them back apart. "I know a better way you could thank her." She turned Moondancer around, bringing her to face Starlight's pussy. Moondancer grimaced for a moment, not wanting to perform cunnilingus on her. But Twilight had other ideas. She pushed her head down and brought Moondancer's horn to Starlight's vagina, teasing it with the tip.

"Ooh," Starlight cooed, feeling the tip prodding her entrance just slightly before being pushed inside. Twilight moved Moondancer's horn in and out of Starlight's pussy, careful to not hurt either of them. Starlight could feel the ridges of Moondancer's horn rubbing along the inside of her vagina. Moondancer could feel the warm, wet walls of Starlight's pussy gripping her sensitive horn. Her forehead bumping against Starlight's engorged clitoris each time she was pushed in all the way.

"There now. You see?" Twilight asked. "Why give each other a hard time...?"

"MMM!" Starlight moaned louder. Her clit winked against Moondancer's forehead, soaking her mane with her juices. She could feel herself getting closer. Her pussy gripped and spasmed as the horn continued to penetrate her.

"... When you could be giving each other..."

"Ngh- MmaGH!" Starlight cried out as she came, spraying Moondancer with her marecum, dripping onto Trixie and Sunset below.

"... orgasms!" Twilight finished. Moondancer could feel Starlight's pussy winking and gripping her horn as she came. She could not help but taste her nectar as it dripped onto her lips. Twilight separated them again, and swapping their positions. Moondancer could feel Starlight's horn prodding against the entrance to her love tunnel.

"Ngh- NO!" Moondancer cried out to Twilight, "I wanted you to be my first!"

Twilight pulled Starlight's horn away and separated them.

"You're a virgin?" Twilight asked. Moondancer nodded. Twilight set Starlight back down on the floor and levitated Moondancer's butt over to her. Twilight pulled her tail up with her magic and manually spread Moondancer's pussy with her hooves, giving her a close, clinical inspection.

"Ooh!" Moondancer moaned, feeling Twilight's hooves finally touching her in such an intimate way, silently hoping for Twilight to make her cum at last, right here, right now.

"I see it's true," Twilight said, finding her hymen intact. Much to Moon's dismay, Twilight set her down on the floor. "I guess that does change things. You'll be coming with me to my room first."

"Trixie is also a virgin and wants Twilight to be her first!" Trixie said. Starlight snorted, nearly choking, trying her best to keep herself from laughing out loud at Trixie's blatant lie.

"Do you need a tissue!?" Trixie asked angrily.

"I think so!" Starlight laughed.

"Starlight," Twilight said, releasing her magical hold on everypony, "Sunset is still assigned to your room tonight. Show Trixie to Spike's room." Starlight nodded, sheepishly wrapping her tail between her legs to hide her still-dripping shame.

"This lesson is to teach you both- all of you, one thing," Twilight said before everypony went to their rooms, "While you're here, you will make up, make out, and make love. Or I will make you." Her expression and tone were neutral and calm. It wasn't a threat. It was simply a statement of how it was going to be.

"Now you two," Twilight said to Moondancer and Starlight, "kiss and make up."

Starlight and Moondancer stepped towards each other.

"You are pretty smart, I'll give you that," Starlight said at last, shuffling her hooves.

"You're pretty talented yourself," Moondancer admitted. "I'm sorry I tried to electrocute you."

"I'm sorry I tried to incinerate you," Starlight replied, leaning closer and closing her eyes. Moondancer pursed her lips and kissed Starlight back. Starlight opened her mouth just a little. She could taste her own pussy flavor, still on Moon's lips. Moondancer met her tongue with her own.

"Mmmf."

"There now," Twilight said, smiling, "Isn't this so much nicer?"

"Trixie is the BEST at making up!" Trixie shouted, pouncing on an unsuspecting Sunset Shimmer, loudly giving her a wet, sloppy kiss.