Sounds Like Some Kind of Innuendo
"Welp, today's the day!" the doctor shouted cheerfully as he rose from his bed with a spring in his step. "I'm finally going to leave Ponyville and set out to continue my experiments elsewhere." He tapped on his roommate's shoulder to wake her. Two crossed, yellow eyes happily greeted him. "I'm going to head out now, Derpy. Do a good job delivering mail to the residents of Ponyville, and always remember to deliver your own mail too!"
The pegasus jumped out of her own small bed and squeezed the doctor harder than she ever had before. "Good luck out there, Doc! Make sure you visit!"
"I will, miss Hooves," Doctor Whooves replied as he gave her neck a friendly nuzzle. "The best of luck goes to you as well."
Derpy let the doctor go after another few seconds. He pushed on the door to leave.
"Oh! I nearly forgot" He yelled, remembering something, and Derpy watched as he quickly ran to the small table at his bedside. From it, he opened a drawer and pulled out two things: a bow tie and a metal hair clip. He stuck said clip into his thick mane, where it was very hard to see from the outside, before tying the bow tie around his neck. The one he picked out had always been his favorite: a perfect red shade to reflect his strong spirit. Centering it perfectly, he gave Derpy a full view. "Does it still fit me as it used to?"
"Just like it did when you first showed it to me," the silly pegasus smiled. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too." The earth pony leaned on the door again. It opened a couple inches. "Goodbye, friend! We will meet again another day at another time."
The sunlight felt warm on Doc's skin. It was the beginning of more than just a new day; he had no idea what he'd soon find. More specifically, who he would find.
* * *
The good doctor decided Canterlot was the best place. He had the money for most available rooms (of which there would surely be many of), and - more importantly - it was the closest big city. Doctor hitched a ride from a pegasus kind enough to fly him all the way there. The streets beneath his four hooves felt much cleaner and a lot smoother than the paths back down in Ponyville; that was his first observation. His second was that the ponies all seemed just as accommodating... for the most part, anyway.
When asked for directions, the residents of the royal city kindly pointed him in the right direction. One in particular, he noticed was eyeing him funnily as he turned to walk away in the direction she'd pointed. The mare shared close to the same eye color as himself, he noted. Doctor Whooves ignored it as he walked away until she yelled after him. "Hey!" she shouted. The doctor looked back, and his throat swelled. The blue unicorn was now turned to the side and pointing to her flank. An hourglass... just like the doctor's own cutie mark... lay there. He slowly trotted back over, shaking.
"H- how do you..? Why is your... Are we-"
The mare threw her head back in a laugh. "No, silly! We aren't related. Boy, have we got some catching up to do." She opened the door to the building behind her marked "Colgate's Dental Service," and the doctor followed her inside. He was more curious about this than his experiments right now. This "Colgate" character locked the door behind them. "You know, when I saw you walking down the street, I was surprised you came to Canterlot. I actually wondered if you had finally found out about me."
"Found out about you? Huh?" At this point, Doctor Whooves was thoroughly confused to the point he thought his head would fall off. If they weren't related, what was this mare to him?
"I travel down to Ponyville from time to time and watch you work. I must say, Doctor Whooves, you're quite the excellent time-keeper. I'd even go as far to say that you may be better than me!"
"By the looks of things, you seem to be more interested in oral hygiene than time-keeping."
"Oh, but Doctor! Time-keeping is so boring! You of all ponies know that! We both know that's the reason you love working with your little toys so much."
"Watching me is one thing, but how do you know so much? How could you POSSIBLY know I think my... or OUR... talent is boring to use?"
"Of course," she answered, facehoofing herself, "I never got to tell you who I am! Well, you got the name right. Colgate at your service! Most ponies know me better as 'Doctor Colgate.'" She pointed to one of the few doors on the other end of the entry room with "Dr. Colgate" engraved into a plaque. Another door was unmarked, and the final one had a plaque reading in big, capital letters "PRIVATE ROOM."
"Follow me," Colgate instructed, leading Doctor Whooves to the supposedly private room. The door opened to reveal a simple, yet rather luxurious, bedroom with a mini lab station. Doctor #1 noted the very small size of it, like it was meant to deflect suspicion of something. It resembled what one might find in a curious colt's room. Colgate hovered her hoof next to what seemed like a light bulb. "I'll fix that real quick," she said, flicking the switch. The wall holding the bed and the mini lab suddenly began to fold up into itself only to show that the floor it had also doubled as a wall itself. A new floor came into place - slowly rising from darkness - and sported something Doctor Whooves hadn't seen in a very long time.
"The TARDIS?!"
"Let's just say I kept mine well-functioning for a bit longer than you did."
"Does this mean that you're..."
"Yes, I am you. Well... technically. I messed around a bit with my own genetics to change some things around so I could try being a mare for a while, and then I left myself the TARDIS in that timeline. From there, I ended up here. It's been an amazing journey so far. Fantastic, even."
"And the different colors?"
"All just little side effects of the genetic changes I made on myself. But I do have to say, when I came here and saw who I turned out to be in this timeline... I was surprised by how devoted you were even after, ahem, 'misplacing' your TARDIS in that hidden cave. Anyway..." she stopped a moment to simply smile at the doctor, "I didn't expect you to be so cute in this timeline either."
The brown earth pony wiped his cheek; it felt like there was something there. But no, it was just blush. "Well, I, uh... I appreciate the compliment Doc- I mean Colgate."
Colgate giggled. "Quite the bashful stallion too. Odd... you don't seem this way with that Derpy Hooves you seems to like so much. Perhaps you wish to put a 'W' in front of that 'H'?"
"No, not at all. We're just friends; that's it."
"Is it~?"
Doctor Whooves nodded strongly. "Yes."
"That's something I love about me. I can always switch gears when I want to. Good on you, Doctor. Let's get you reacquainted with our friend here, shall we?"
Colgate brought the two of them into the TARDIS. Being the strange thing it was, it was much bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. Inside were many different controls with different variables, dials, buttons, and everything you could think of. Doctor Whooves ran wild, going around and admiring every little detail. Even the smallest flake of dust was exciting to see. With one more glance to another lever, he galloped to Colgate and hugged her out of joy before he knew what he was doing. Colgate smiled and hugged him back. "How's it feel to be back home, Doctor?"
Her voice brought him back to reality. He started to release her until he realized that she was hugging back.
"You know..." Colgate started to whisper, "I'm sorta glad you said Derpy was just your friend."
"Why's that?" Doctor asked.
Colgate gave the answer by getting out of the hug and giving Doc a fast peck on his lips. Again, blood rose to his cheeks, but now it seemed that Colgate joined him in that aspect. Into each other's eyes they stared, and in them they saw much more than the reflection of each other; they saw the stars of space, the milliseconds of time, and a vast infinity of endless outcomes that they had yet to conquer.
Doctor Whooves gave a wry smile. "Would this be considered incest... or self-infatuation?"
Colgate smiled back at him prior to once again pulling him in for another squeeze.
The End.
