Friendship 101

by BlazzingInferno

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Twilight Velvet, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 3839

Twilight Sparkle’s cute-ceañera is on Friday. Finding some guests is proving harder than Twilight Velvet expected.

A pony only gets one cute-ceañera. Twilight Velvet knows this, and she knows exactly how her friendless daughter wants to spend hers: nose-deep in a book, just like every other day. Twilight Velvet has other plans, all revolving around finding somepony to come to her daughter’s party, somepony to be her friend.

Featured on Equestria Daily
The original version of this story took 6th place in The Writeoff Association's December 2016 contest, “Has That Always Been There?“

Published 2017-02-07 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-07 18:40:02 UTC

Party Planning

“Twilight, honey, are you still in there?”

Twilight Velvet nudged her daughter’s nearly-closed bedroom door. The swinging door abruptly knocked against one of the many stacks of books littering the floor like sprouting trees. She stuck her head through the gap and spied the edge of purple tail sticking out of the rumpled bedsheets. “Twilight Sparkle, are you still asleep? It’s almost ten!”

The lump in the sheets began to stir. “Hnn, huh? Mom?”

“The last time I checked, yes. Come on, honey. You’re going to sleep the whole day away.”

Twilight Sparkle jolted up to a sitting position, sending the three books draped over her flying. “Oh no! M-my library books are due today, and I didn’t finish them last night!”

“We’ll go renew them after lunch, but only if you pick up this room. If you’re going to turn this place into a library, the least you could do is organize it like one. Borrow your dad’s slide rule and drafting paper if you have to.”

“Ooh, could I get my own card catalog? Please?”

Twilight Velvet couldn’t hold back a small smile. “Maybe for Hearth’s Warming… let’s just worry about your cute-ceañera first. Are you excited?”

The books covering the bed arranged themselves into a careful stack in the middle of the mattress, a feat that took all of young Twilight’s concentration. When the tower was complete, she glanced at her new cutie mark gave a resolute nod. “Of course I’m excited… but nervous, too. There’s just ten more weeks, and I’ve got a whole lot of studying to do before then!”

“Ten weeks? Your party is this Friday.”

“Party?”

Twilight Velvet shut her eyes. “We’re talking about your cute-ceañera, not school, remember?”

“Oh… right. Maybe the four of us can play Ogres and Oubliettes. It’ll be fun.”

“Yes it will, honey, if I have anything to say about it. Brush your mane and come downstairs, okay? Dad can get you something for breakfast. I’ve got an errand to run.”

“Okay, Mom.”

Twilight Velvet shut the door, but didn’t back away until she heard her daughter’s hooves echoing across the floor, a sign that she hadn’t gotten sucked into another book. Not yet, at least.

“So you’re really going?”

She turned and found Night Light standing behind her. She shut her eyes tight and nodded. “It’s a crazy idea… but I’m doing it anyway.”

He stepped forward and nuzzled her neck. “You said the same thing about trying to get published the first time. Remember that?”

She pushed him away with a giggle. “Remind me later. I’ve got an appointment in central Canterlot.”

Twilight Velvet pressed her ear to the door, wondering if anyone had heard her knocking. Five more minutes and she’d let her back hooves have a go at it.

“Can I help you?”

She turned around and found a wizened unicorn stallion, his neck bent under the weight of a lengthy beard and a thick set of spectacles. She put on her best business smile, the one reserved for her agent and publisher. “Yes, I’m here for a parent teacher conference. Could you let me in to the school, please?”

The stallion scratched his chin. “Parent… what? The fall term doesn’t start for ten weeks, Miss…”

“Twilight Velvet, and I’m well aware of the date.” The school handbook materialized next to her, opened to the section on student-teacher conduct. “It says right here that a parent can request an emergency conference with their child’s teacher at any time, and that the teacher needs to honor that request within a week. I filed my request six days and twenty three hours ago, so here I am. There’s nothing in here about waiting for the school year to start.”

The stallion stepped closer and leaned towards the book until his glasses nearly touched it. “Huh… Has that always been there?”

Twilight Velvet just kept smiling. “I’d like to see Princess Celestia, please.”

The stallion raised his eyebrows. “The Princess… Your that Twilight’s parent or legal guardian?”

“I prefer the term mother.”

He nodded. “Right, right. I guess I can take you in… I doubt anypony’s keeping up with the mail this early on.”

His horn lit, and the door’s lock clicked. “Ha, I can’t wait to hear what ol’ Task Master says when he finds out I met our star student’s mother before him. Maybe he’ll finally get that coronary he keeps whining about in the teacher’s lounge.”

Twilight Velvet followed him through the open door and into a barely-lit interior. Cool, dry air rose up from the polished stone floors, scented ever so slightly with chalk dust. In the dim light she could just make out the sweeping marble staircase that dominated the main hall. Seeing it again added some genuine mirth to her smile; poor little Twilight Sparkle had nearly walked right into it on her way to her entrance exam, thanks to the book she’d been trying to read at the time. The whole school had been packed then, a wall-to-wall circus of parents chasing school officials with their prospective student in tow. Today the place was empty. What would it be like on Twilight Sparkle’s first day? Would the older students be kind? What about the ones in her own class, assuming there were any? There wasn’t anything in the handbook about being the Princess’s personal protégé, an oversight that she intended to squeeze for all it was worth.

“How’s young Twilight liking her summer break?” Her guide was leading her to a set of doors to the left of the stairs.

Twilight Velvet blinked at the question. “Oh, she’s spending it just how she wants to: studying, studying, and more studying.”

“That’s a good filly! I was the same way… just couldn’t get enough books.”

“What subject do you teach, sir?”

“History. I’ve been alive for most of it, you see.” He looked back at her, his grin youthful.

She chuckled. “And here I assumed a strapping young thing like you would be over the hoofball team. Twilight loves history.”

“Ah, to be young again… I’ll never forget the day I got my cutie mark… the thrill, the excitement, the cheers from my friends… But here we are, the head-princess’s office, as we like to call it.”

The door before them was unremarkable, save for its being two heads taller than its neighbors. A small plaque just above eye level read Headmistress Celestia.

“And she’ll be in here?”

He nodded. “The summer sun is up, and the nobility are out hunting for royal favor and proverbial back-scratches. Where would you go to avoid them?”

“The principal’s office in a locked up school.”

“Very good, my dear.”

Emergency Negotiations

The door creaked open as soon as Twilight Velvet knocked on it, and a surprised but sufficiently regal “ooh, who’s there?” escaped through the gap.

She pushed open the door and bowed, catching only a glimpse of an overly tall desk laden with paperwork as she did so. “Good morning, Princess Celestia. I’m sorry for disturbing you like this, but I’m afraid I need to meet with you for an emergency parent-teacher conference.”

Princess Celestia chuckled. “Welcome, Mrs… Velvet, isn’t it? What brings you here in the middle of summer break?”

Twilight Velvet rose, her business smile still in full force. Princess Celestia looked surprisingly mundane, seated behind a desk with paperwork before her and framed awards on the wall behind her. Everything was larger than normal, of course; the desk reached Twilight Velvet’s nose. Equating this oversized office pony with the shining beacon of Princesshood she’d seen during the summer sun celebration took some effort. “I’m here about my daughter, Twilight Sparkle.”

A smile crossed Princess Celestia’s face, and not the kind Twilight Velvet expected; she’d seen and given her share of friendly façades to push a book deal through, but this looked different. The Princess actually looked happy about being accosted by a meddling, busybody parent. “Please, have a seat. I hope Twilight isn’t too nervous, especially when she still has so much time off ahead of her.”

The chair wasn’t like anything Twilight Velvet had seen before. It looked more like a series of oversized, padded steps, each one as wide as a seat cushion. The lowest one was at a normal chair’s height, and the next two taller still. She climbed up the second step, which put her on level with Princess Celestia. The topmost step, which was just a few inches taller, would’ve been perfect for a foal to sit eye to eye with the Princess of Equestria. “This is an… interesting chair.”

“One of my former students made it for me, a little something to help students and parents see me for what I am in this office: a teacher. Now, what’s so urgent that you needed to invoke the ‘emergency conference’ rule before Twilight’s even been through her first day?”

Twilight Velvet took a deep breath. “I’ll get right to the point, your majesty. Twilight’s cute-ceañera is this Friday at one, and we’d very much like for you to make an appearance.”

The warmth drained out of Princess Celestia’s smile; now she was all business. “While I’m flattered that you’d invite me, I’m afraid I can’t come. Surely you understand how many graduations, parties, and other social events parents routinely ask me to attend. I don’t have time to go to them all, and it would hardly be fair to select just a few. I can’t make an exception, not even for Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight Velvet expected this. She’d expected this from the moment she’d suggested this crazy idea to her husband a week ago. “I can respect that, Princess, so long as you understand why I’m asking. Will you give me that, at least? I won’t waste your time.”

Princess Celestia nodded. “Go on.”

“Twilight earned her cutie mark during her entrance exam for your school, well after her public school let out for the summer. The handful of acquaintances she has are either out of town like Princess Cadence, or have some other excuse to not come to the ‘weird kid’s’ party, the kid that always has her nose in a book.”

Princess Celestia’s smile vanished. “I don’t understand.”

“Please forgive me for being so blunt, but you’ve spent five minutes with my daughter, Princess. You’ve seen that she’s very talented, but you haven’t seen how she spends every waking moment studying magic. I wanted her to come to your school so she’d meet some fillies and colts her age that she’d actually identify with… maybe that can still happen with her being your personal student, but it isn’t about to happen by Friday. I’ve already gone down the entire first-year class roster and sent out invitations… nobody else can make it… or wants to, anyway, considering I offered to push the party back another week.”

Twilight Velvet leaned forward, her hooves on the desk and her business façade crumbling under a flood of genuine worry. “My daughter doesn’t have friends, Princess Celestia. She doesn’t even expect anyone to show up to her cute-ceañera, and what’s worse is she doesn’t care! She’s perfectly happy to sit around eating cake with her parents and big brother because she doesn’t know what having actual friends is like. She deserves better than a cute-ceañera with no friends, even if she doesn’t expect it. What could show her the value of healthy social interaction more than seeing it demonstrated by the Princess she idolizes?”

Princess Celestia opened her mouth slightly, as if she was voicing the uncomfortable silence that hung in the air for seconds on end. “Of course she deserves better… and during her studies with me, I’ll ensure she has every opportunity to interact with other students. I’ll make sure of it.”

“That sounds suspiciously like ‘making an exception’ to me, Princess, just like when you publicly stated you’d take a single filly under your wing for private lessons. You’re already going to be present for plenty of her life events simply because you’re her teacher, so why not this one? She’ll have plenty of birthdays and other celebrations, but only one cute-ceañera.”

A frown crossed Princess Celestia’s face, which made Twilight Velvet’s smile all the harder to maintain. “Tell me, Twilight Velvet, what do you do for a living? Are you a corporate executive, or a lawyer?”

“I… write children’s books. Publishing is a lot more cut-throat than most ponies suspect.”

“And what if Friday comes and goes without me? Would your next book be the tale of the solar tyrant that steals the dreams of little fillies?”

Twilight Velvet’s already unsteady smile turned into a gasp. “This isn’t blackmail or politics, your highness.”

“Would you pull Twilight Sparkle out of my school?”

“Not if she’s going to be happy here, and nothing in the whole world would make her happier than learning from you directly.”

“You do realize how big what you're asking for is, don’t you? While it might just be a cute-ceañera to Twilight Sparkle, for me it’s a show of apparent favoritism that could tarnish my relationship with the other students, and lead to many well-to-do parents demanding—and I do mean demanding—that I devote just as much personal time to their families if I ever want to have the privilege of educating their children again, to say nothing of their political support.”

“I-I understand that. I do. I still won’t take back my request. I can’t. You said you’re a teacher; can’t you give her an early lesson about friendship or something?”

A quick knocking rattled the door, and a guard’s deep voice came through the gap. “Princess Celestia? Your afternoon court is set to begin in five minutes.”

Twilight Velvet dove across the desk and grabbed one of the Princess’s hooves. “Please, Princess. This isn’t for me, and I swear nopony ever has to know about it.”

Princess Celestia extracted herself from her embrace and stood. They stared at each other for multiple seconds, devoid of façades and pretenses. “I won’t promise anything, but…”

“Please consider it. That’s all I ask.”

Special Guests

Twilight Velvet stared down at the perfect grid of party favors on the kitchen counter; thirty six little bags filled with hats, noise makers, balloons, and a generous amount of star-shaped confetti. Her hoof tapped out seconds in time with the clock on the wall. In another minute everyone she’d invited would officially be half an hour late. “Stupid other parents… stupid public school… stupid scheduling conflicts… that’s what they’re all going call it: a scheduling conflict. Forget asking the Princess; I should’ve just put invitations on lamp posts.”

Night Light nudged the nearest party favor with his hoof. He looked at her with a cautious yet optimistic smile she knew well, the same one she gifted to each of her book’s dashing heroes. “She was the longest of long shots, dear… but we can still make the afternoon special. What if we go out instead? We could let Twilight pick a restaurant… maybe stop by her favorite book store…”

Shining Armor sighed, the short crop of his mane barely visible over the back of the couch. A book on military strategy floated over his reclining form. “Dad, we did that last week after she aced her entrance exam! She’s probably rereading her new teleportation book right now, that’s why she hasn’t noticed what time it is. Can’t I just go upstairs and get her? We can have the cake, and sing, and—”

Twilight Velvet swiped her foreleg across the kitchen counter, scattering the party favors across the floor. She stomped into the front room and focused her magic on the streamers hanging from the ceiling. One by one, the decorations came down and joined the party favors on the floor. “Not another word, either of you! Just… let me think.”

“Mom—”

“I said let me think!”

“Mom—”

She whirled around and glared at her son, an adolescent stallion already as big as she was, but not so big that he could escape cowering under her fiery gaze. “What, Shining Armor? What?”

He curled into a ball and held a spare cushion up as a shield. “There’s… um… there’s somepony outside… looks important.”

Night Light reached the front window first, and his tail stuck straight out when he did. “D-dear, you didn’t say anything… threatening to Princess Celestia, did you?”

Twilight Velvet gasped. “What? Of course not!”

“Shining Armor, did you commit some horrible crime that you’d like to tell us about?”

Shining Armor jumped off the couch and joined them at the window. “Are you crazy? I’ve got a week left before I go to the acad—whoa.”

Twilight Velvet pressed her nose to the glass. A golden chariot was parked on their front lawn, and no less than five royal guards, four fillies, and one bearded and bespectacled unicorn stallion were stepping off of it. “Go get Twilight.”

“Huh?”

“Go get your little sister! Tell her study time is over, the guests are here! Night Light, could you wait by the door while I… um… pick up the mess I made?”

Shining Armor ran for the stairs, while Night Light headed for the kitchen. “I’ll clean up, dear. If the royal guard is coming to arrest you for Princess harassment, who am I to stand in their way?”

She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “You’d better hope they do, because if they don’t my pillow’s got a date with your f—”

The sound of the doorbell made her jump. The soft clang of metal on metal, the sweet music she’d been fantasizing about since sending out invitations was finally calling out to her. “J-just a minute! Be right there!”

“How about that, they’re not just breaking the door down.”

She shot Night Light one last glare and marched to the front door. Twilight ran down the staircase and nearly collided with her. “There’s ponies here to see me? Really?”

Shining Armor came up behind her, laughing. “Really, Twily.”

Twilight Velvet smiled. “Let’s just remember to be friendly and accepting, no matter what they look like, okay honey?”

Young Twilight gave a vigorous nod. “I will, mom. I promise!”

Twilight Velvet took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the new cutie mark on her daughter’s flank. “Why don’t you open the door, honey?”

Young Twilight’s horn glowed purple, and the front door swung open. Two royal guards in full armor stood in the doorway, their stern expressions as friendly and inviting as a brick wall.

Young Twilight gave a seconds-long gasp. “Are… are you here for my party?”

Twilight Velvet bit her lip. They’d better be. If this was some sort of sick prank, no jury would ever convict her.

The guard on the left spoke, his voice as level and stern as his expression. “Is this the residence of one Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia?”

Young Twilight gave her mother a brief glance before nodding. “Yes… That’s me.”

“And is this the date and time of her cute-ceañera?”

Young Twilight tilted her head slightly. “Yes…”

Both of the guards pulled off their helmets and grinned. “Phew, we’re at the right place! Can we please come to your party, Miss Twilight?”

Young Twilight gave her brightest smile. “Sure! That’s okay, right Mom?”

Twilight Velvet beckoned them inside. “I hope you’re all in the mood for cake.”

Five royal guards filed through door in a straight line, removing their helmets as they did so while the other guests rushed by them. In seconds, the quiet house was filled with conversation and calls for the special filly to tell them her cutie mark story.

Twilight Velvet took a deep breath, exhaling week upon week of worry in the process. Little Twilight had some guests at her party, and she didn’t care that most of them were muscle-bound stallions clad in armor.

“Did somepony say cake?”

The room went silent, and Twilight Sparkle gasped. “Is… Is that—“

Princess Celestia ducked through the entryway. “Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle.”

“You came to my cute-ceañera! Oh thank you, Princess!”

Princess Celestia smiled. “Your cute-ceañera is today? How convenient! I actually came to begin your private lessons early alongside a few late additions to the school roster, but that can wait until we’ve celebrated, don’t you think? I’m sure Lyra, Lemon Hearts, Minuette, and Moondancer would love to get to know you, considering how much time you’ll spend with them once the school year starts.”

Young Twilight’s smile faltered for just a moment, at least until she looked at the roomful of guests, especially the four fillies grinning at her expectantly. “Oh, wow! I guess that can wait… Since we have guests and everything.”

“Wonderful.”

An hour later, the party was still in full swing. Twilight Velvet sat at the kitchen table next to the remains of the cake, watching three royal guards in party hats tossing her daughter in the air amid repeated choruses of For She’s a Jolly Good Pony from Night Light and the fillies. Her attention wandered to the other side of the room, where the two other guards had her son backed into a corner.

“—heard you’re shipping off to the academy.”

Shining Armor gave a shaky salute. “Y-yes, Sir!”

“Think you’ve got what it takes to be a Royal Guard, eh? Maybe a lieutenant?”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Wrong! You’d better aim higher than that! If you want to last a month in the academy, you’d better be aiming for captain of the guard, got that?”

Shining Armor’s eyes went wide. “C-captain of the guard?”

“Say it!”

“I-I want to be the captain of the guard… Captain Shining Armor.”

Both guards chanted in unison. “I can’t hear you!”

“Captain Shining Armor!”

Princess Celestia slipped through the room, gingerly stepping through a battleground of confetti and balloons, and joined Twilight Velvet at the kitchen table. “I’m sorry we were late. Convincing Moondancer to come to an impromptu ‘friendship lesson’ took some work. Minuette on the other hoof…”

Twilight Velvet laughed. “Late? I wish you’d told me you were really coming, but… thank you. Thank you so much. This means the world to Twilight.”

A glass of lemonade rose to Princess Celestia’s lips, and was soon emptied. “I might as well get used to the favoritism accusations that come with having a personal student… although I’ve never had a student so eager to jump ahead to the ‘lesson’ portion of our time together. I just gave a command lecture on the magical properties of cutie marks, and Professor Hoofington is going to talk about their origin and historical significance next. I’m not sure either of us will get out of here with our voices intact.”

“That’s my Twilight. She’ll soak up every drop of knowledge you give her… but I hope you see the other side now, too: the filly that… doesn’t really get what friendship is.”

Princess Celestia gave a long, slow nod. “We’ll work on that.”