You Can Always Come Home

by EntityRelationship

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Drama, Equestria Girls
Length: 3418

Sunset Shimmer has returned to Equestria, by special request of Celestia. Celestia wants to make her former pupil an offer. A chance to turn back the clock, to take back a moment that they both, dearly regret.

Losing a child is the most terrifying thing that can happen to a parent.

Sunset Shimmer had been gone for years. Celestia had never really given up hope that she would see her again, but the doubt had always been in the back of her mind: what if she never returns? The echoes of their last fight followed her all those years.

And now that Sunset Shimmer has returned, Celestia wants to see her again. She has an offer to make, to a filly she raised as a daughter.

Published 2017-01-17 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-17 02:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“Sunset Shimmer...is she alright?”

“I think she’s going to be fine. I left her in good. Hands.”

Princess Celestia held that thought in her mind the entire time she stayed in The Crystal Empire. She was there in an official capacity, as Princess of Equestria she had to maintain her composure. She had duties to attend to, ponies that needed her help and guidance. She could not let the resurfacing of her former student disrupt her in her obligations to her subjects.

So, she continued her princessly duties without the tiniest crack in her emotional facade. She tended to the nobles and matters of state, she entertained visiting diplomats and served the needy as best she could. Because Celestia was a Princess, and being a Princess came with responsibilities. Commitments. It meant that she did not have the luxuries of her own emotions, in the ways that other ponies did.

And all that time, she kept that thought in her mind: Sunset Shimmer was fine. She was in good hands.

She told herself that on the train ride of the Crystal Express back to Canterlot. She told herself that as she walked up the stairs to Canterlot Castle. Sunset Shimmer was fine. She was in good hands.

She told herself that as she telekinetically turned the knob on the door in the east wing of the castle. A door that she had not personally opened in a very long time. Sunset Shimmer was fine. She was in-

The door closed. And Celestia collapsed on the floor.

And she cried.

She was okay. She was okay. She was okay.

***

Even when the portal was opened again, due to no small amount of ingenuity on Twilight’s part and a flash of either genius or craziness from Pinkie Pie, it had taken a lot to convince Sunset Shimmer to come back through. Celestia had very deliberately and loudly not pushed the matter, even refraining from making direct contact with her former student, for the moment at least. She had dropped the hint to Twilight, ever so subtly, that, if Sunset wanted to return, she could. She would not be arrested, thrown into prison, or banished. She had nothing material to fear by coming back. And Celestia trusted that Twilight would pass the message along.

It had taken a few weeks for Celestia to realize that, perhaps, it was not material punishment that kept Sunset Shimmer away from Equestria. That it was something far worse: guilt. And shame. Emotions Celestia had come to know for herself far too well in the past thousand years. Perhaps too well to realize that other ponies felt them too.

But eventually, Sunset Shimmer had agreed to come back. In her own time, in her own way, she had asked if she could return. Celestia had made all of the preparations, stressing in silence over each and every one. Should her return be large and publicized, or understated and private? The old Sunset Shimmer probably would have loved a large to-do about her return, but from what Celestia had heard Sunset had been struggling with being the center of attention after the incident with Twilight’s crown. She was getting better, yes, but a large celebration was probably still too much for her. At the same time, Celestia did not think it would be best for her to meet Sunset Shimmer alone. That could feel like an ambush, facing her former mentor alone in a body that was no longer familiar to her, in a world that she had only briefly visited in recent years.

Ultimately, Celestia had decided on a compromise between the two extremes: a small group of ponies to greet her as she came through the portal. Celestia herself, of course, Twilight Sparkle, a small group of castle staff who had worked at the castle when Sunset Shimmer was living there, and the five, Equestrian version of the friends she had made at Canterlot High School. Celestia wanted Equestria to feel familiar, friendly. Like home.

Sunset Shimmer emerged from the portal slowly, with her eyes closed. She took a deep breath and opened them.

And there she was. Just like that. The filly that Celestia had lost all of those years ago. A little older, to be sure, but it was her. That yellow coat, her aqua eyes, the flaming red and yellow mane. It was her.

Her girl was home.

Celestia took in a breath. She had to keep her composure. She had to stay calm and collected for her former student. “Sunset Shimmer,” she said. “Welco-”

At that moment, Sunset’s perfectly self-controlled demeanor shattered.

She ran into Celestia’s chest, sobbing. Tears ran down her cheeks and stained Celestia’s white coat. Celestia turned her gaze to the other ponies in the room, who exchanged eye contact awkwardly at the sudden and extreme outburst of emotion they were unexpectedly witness to. If Sunset had noticed the scene she was making, she apparently didn’t care. She just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, pushing herself closer and closer to Celestia as she babbled incoherently.

Gently, Celestia wrapped her foreleg around Sunset Shimmer, and gave a tiny smile, pulling her in even closer. “There there, my little pony. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Behind the crying and the stammering, Celestia could make out one, coherent sentence, repeated over and over. “I’m sorry,” Sunset Shimmer said, sniffing as she spoke. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

She wasn’t asking for forgiveness. She was just trying to express the enormous guilt that had been building up inside of her. It was something she had to do, and Celestia realized she would have to let her. No matter how much she wanted to interrupt, to say something herself, whatever she had to say would have to wait.

It’s the duty of a parent.

***

Celestia allowed some time to pass before contacting Sunset Shimmer again. This time, there was no indirection, no dropped hints to Twilight to pass along to her. She did not even use the book that Sunset and Twilight had been using to exchange messages between worlds. She simply wrote a short note:

“Dear Sunset Shimmer,

I would like to speak with you. Please come to Equestria at your earliest convenience.

Princess Celestia.”

She mailed the letter without a thought of whether or not it would find its way through the cosmos, to the alternate universe Sunset Shimmer was living in, and ultimately into her hands. Equestrian mail was very efficient, it delivered. Sometimes a little later than expected, but the mail always found its way to its destination.

And so, Sunset Shimmer found herself back in Equestria again. This time, in the castle where she had spent most of her youth. She composed herself a little more formally this time, perhaps, Celestia thought, overcompensating for her loss of control the last time she had visited. For a long while they walked in silence, passing through familiar halls and familiar paintings. Little details may have changed, but it was the same castle they had lived in together for so long.

And the echoes of arguments past followed them as they walked.

“How are you doing in school?” Celestia asked, finally breaking the silence. Sunset almost jumped at the question, the first time anyone had asked anything like it in a long time, much less her former mentor.

“I’m-I’m top of my class,” Sunset Shimmer said, anxiety trembling in her voice. “Math and science isn’t all that different from magic, when you get down to it. It’s all about memorization. And...well, I learned how to memorize things, here.”

Celestia gave a small, regal nod. They came to a staircase and started to ascend. “And your friends? How are you all getting along?”

“V-very well,” Sunset Shimmer said, gulping heavily. “We’re in a band together. A-and I’ve been helping Fluttershy at the animal shelter, and Rainbow Dash with the soccer team, a-and Applejack on the farm, a-and…” Sunset stopped and Celestia looked down to her. Her eyes were watery and large, full of craving and desperation. There was a question behind it, and if Celestia had known her former pupil a little less well, she may have thought the question was, “Are you proud of me?” But Celestia had seen Sunset Shimmer desperate for her approval before. This was different. The question here was subtly different, but the distinction was important.

It would be more accurate to say that the question behind Sunset’s eyes was, “Are you disappointed in me?”

It wasn’t fair, Celestia told herself as they climbed the stairs. Sunset Shimmer was not her first student. Celestia had had many protégés in the over a millennia she had lived. Some fillies, some colts. Some unicorns, some pegasi, some earth ponies, even a griffin or two in her time. Some had been quiet and thoughtful, others brash and hotheaded. And she had loved them all. She still knew all of their names, their hopes, their dreams, their favourite foods.

But there was one way in which Sunset Shimmer was the first. Sunset Shimmer was the first orphan to find herself Celestia’s personal student. At the time, Celestia had not given it much thought. The little filly had potential, and that was all that really mattered. Celestia had brought previous students to live in the castle with her before, so this was hardly different.

What Celestia had not prepared herself for was what it truly meant to be raising a filly all on her own. Her previous students all had families to go home to, even if it was only from time to time. Celestia could share the load of making sure they grew to be well-developed, emotionally-mature individuals. She showed them love, yes, but she had never been in a position before where she was the only one to take care of them. She had never had to take a foal’s temperature when they were sick before. She had never had to read them bedtime stories, or tell them that there was no monster in their closets. She had never had to be a parent to them before.

And that was what was unfair about this. Celestia was a Princess of Equestria. She had thousands of subjects, each one of which required and deserved her full attention. And it was unfair that, with all of those ponies counting on her, this one, little filly meant so much to her.

“There’s something I want to show you, Sunset Shimmer,” Celestia said as she turned the doorknob. Sunset Shimmer trotted into the room, and her eyes widened as she saw what was inside.

“Is this-?” Sunset Shimmer asked, but her voice trailed off. The sun-decorated room seemed to swirl around her as she stepped inside, a thousand barely-recalled memories came flooding back to her like the crashing of cognitive waves against her well-ordered mind.

“Yes,” Celestia said as she followed Sunset Shimmer inside. “It’s your old room.” Celestia trotted around the room, noting small details as she did. The copy of Sunset’s cutie mark, which decorated the wallpaper. The swath of slightly against-the-grain paint on the wall, where Sunset had accidentally set it on fire one night while practicing her latest spell. The toy crown Celestia had given her for Hearth’s Warming one year. She made her way to the balcony and looked out the window. “It’s a nice view,” Celestia said, gazing out to the horizon. “I remember, when you were a filly, you would get up, first thing every morning, to watch me raise the sun.”

Sunset Shimmer nodded. “I still sometimes watch the sunrise,” she admitted, quietly. “I know you’re not raising it there. But...I don’t know. It feels...nice. Somehow.” Sunset looked around the room, at all the little, physical things she had left there when she ran off, all those years ago. “You really kept my room like this? All this time?”

Celestia gave a small nod. “At first, I thought you might come home and want it again. I told myself that you just needed time to cool off, that you’d be back any day, ready to resume your studies. And when the portal closed...I thought you might find your way back, somehow. You were always intelligent and creative, perhaps you would find a way to open it again. But as time passed…” Celestia gulped. “I knew you weren’t returning. At least, not anytime soon. But I kept this room just the way it was. I read that this behaviour is not unusual for ponies who have lost a chil-” Celestia caught herself, coughed, then continued. “Lost someone close to them. The room becomes a shrine, of some sort. It was...comforting to me to know it was here. To remember you.”

Sunset Shimmer looked up at her former mentor, tears in her eyes. “Celestia…” she said. “I...I…”

“I wrote you, a few times,” Celestia said. “In that book. I had hoped that it would still work, even with the portal closed. But when I got no answer, I assumed that either it would not work with the portal closed, or you did not want to answer.”

Sunset looked down at the floor, a little ashamed of herself. “I got your messages,” she whispered. “But I couldn’t bring myself to reply.”

Celestia sighed deeply. This was it. “There was, of course, a third possibility I considered,” she said. “That you were not replying to my messages, because...you couldn’t.” Celestia’s pacing increased, nervous energy burning off through her hooves. “I told myself it was impossible. That you were always independent, that whatever other...problems you might have had, taking care of yourself was never one of them. I told myself that whatever world you ended up in was in more danger from you than you were from being in it. But I couldn’t…” Tears started to roll down Celestia’s cheek. “I couldn’t bring myself to believe it.”

Sunset Shimmer lifted a hoof to interrupt, but stopped herself. Celestia had let her cry into her chest when she had first returned to Equestria. She had given her the opportunity to relieve all the guilt she had been feeling for so long. Now it was time for Sunset Shimmer to give her old mentor the same courtesy.

“I was afraid that something horrible had happened to you,” Celestia choked out. “I was...terrified that you were hurt. Or worse. I stayed up at night, thinking about all the terrible things that could have happened to you after you ran away. All because of something I said.”

“I-it wasn’t because of something you said,” Sunset Shimmer said. “I think we both know I was pretty headstrong back then. I was probably going to end up running away no matter what happened. And besides...I ended up in a high school. Not exactly the most dangerous place to end up in, all things considered.”

Celestia shook her head. “It ended up alright, yes. But at the time, I didn’t know that. And I relived our last conversation, over and over. Telling myself that if I’d been more patient, if I’d explained myself more clearly, maybe, just maybe, I could have convinced you to stay. That you’d be safe.” Celestia sighed. “I can’t change the past,” she said. “But one thing I’ve learned in the past few years is that I can change how I react. I don’t have to keep making the same mistakes, over and over again. If life gives us a second chance, we can take it.” Celestia turned to look at Sunset Shimmer, head-on. “There’s another reason I wanted to show you this room again,” she said. “Everything’s in its place. Even the books you swiped from the restricted section of the Canterlot Library and hid.”

“I-I can explain that!” Sunset Shimmer said, but Celestia raised a hoof, silencing her.

“This room is unoccupied. Twilight has reached the end of her studies. I have a position for another student. If you are so inclined.”

Sunset froze. The enormity of what Celestia was saying came crashing down on her like a collapsing building. “Are...are you saying-?”

“You can come home, Sunset Shimmer,” Celestia said. “You can resume your studies, here. We can pick up where we left off. We can make it like our argument never even happened.”

Sunset looked around the room. Her old bedroom, her old things. How many nights had she lay awake, thinking about this place? Silently wishing she could go back home? “I...I have friends at CHS,” Sunset Shimmer said.

“You can visit them whenever you like,” Celestia said. “Or they can visit you. I’m sure I can convince Twilight to move the mirror back to Canterlot Castle. You will literally be a short walk away from them. You can hop through the portal, meet them for lunch, return for your studies, and be back for band practice, if you were so inclined.”

So, no loss of friendships, Sunset told herself. She looked out, over the horizon again, to where the sun rose each morning. “I think…” Sunset said, considering her options. “I think I am going to have to say...no.”

Celestia have a slight nod. “I understand,” she said. “May I ask why?”

Sunset sighed, stuck her hooves out over the railing, and watched the rays of the sun dance over the cityscape beneath her. “Because I think that other world is my home,” she said. She traced her front hoof over the railing, absentmindedly. “I made mistakes there. I’ll admit to that. And I’m not proud of it. For a while, people hated me there. But when that happened, I did something I didn’t really expect from myself. I didn’t run. I worked hard to try to prove that I wasn’t that person anymore, that I’d changed. It took a lot, but I made a place for myself there.” Sunset turned around to look at Celestia. “I always thought about coming back, you know. That I could undo that one mistake I made, and everything would go back to the way things were. But I think a part of growing up is learning that you can’t just undo your mistakes. That you have to live with them. And, sometimes you’re stronger and better for having made them.” Sunset placed her hoof against her chest. “I missed you, Celestia. So much. But I’m happy at CHS. And I don’t want to just...go back to before I made any mistakes. I want to overcome them.”

Celestia gave the smaller, yellow pony an affectionate smile. “I think...I knew that you would say that,” Celestia said. “And perhaps it was selfish of me to ask. But I thought you should know. You always have a place here, Sunset Shimmer. Even if it’s only for a week, even if it’s only for a day. You can always come home.”

Tears welled up in Sunset Shimmer’s eyes, and she embraced her former mentor tightly. “Thank you, Princess,” she said. “Thank you.”

Children make mistakes, Celestia told herself. That was the point of childhood. Make small mistakes then, so you don’t have to make them when you’re all grown up. It is a parent’s job to realize this. A parent’s job to let their child make mistakes, even if they think it would save them a little hardship now to avoid them.

And it is a parent’s job to let their children know one, simple fact: that no matter where they go, no matter what they do, they can always come home.

Author's Note

Okay, so, I never really intended to write a "Sunset Shimmer meets Celestia again" fic...I've alluded to it a few times, but I basically treat them as having been fully reconciled by the time my fics start. But, I've had this idea in my head for a while...I'm sure this ground had been tread before, but I've always liked to think that Celestia was deeply worried about Sunset Shimmer all the time she was missing. Her first question when Twilight returns at the end of "Equestria Girls" was to ask if she was okay, so...yeah :twilightsheepish: I went ahead and wrote this. I don't know if it's any good or not, and it's kind of not my normal speed, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

I'm not sure if this belongs in my "Prep-Verse" or not. If it does, it's probably a prequel to the whole thing. But anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile: