You Don’t Know Anything: Chapter 1
[---Celestia POV---]
I was in my bedroom having a nice relaxing evening with reading and cake. At that moment I was sitting comfortably on my bed reading one of my cheesy romantic comedies while eating a vanilla cake. It's always nice to have break every once and while and nothing beats cake in bed. That's not to say I don't have hobbies, but I do have to do a lot of work, it usually consists of paperwork, the day court, and that one employee who has an off day and makes a few mistakes and think they will be sentenced to death and begs for my forgiveness.
‘Honestly I don't know why they keep assuming that, I made law against death penalty centuries ago for a reason.’ I sighed deeply for second. I do deeply loved all my little ponies very much, but sometimes they can be too much. While they can sometimes do amazing things I could only dream of happening, Twilight being the biggest example, but there will always be that one pony or group that does something she can't understand why they thought it would be good idea.
‘Why somepony thought it would be a good idea to start a religious cult about me two centuries ago, is beyond me. I'm just glad I stopped that before it got out of control.’ I shake my to head ignore that thought. This was her relaxation time, better to use it before you lose it.
Not five minutes later she lost it. A royal guard burst into my bedroom in a panic. I mentally sighed as I put a bookmark in my book and use my magic to put it back it on my nightstand. I was so close to the bedroom scene too. ‘Next time.’
I carefully got off her bed to address the royal guard with the royal ‘mask’ on with that warm smile. “What is it soldier?”
“Princess, you need to get the throne room, Queen Chrysalis is here!”
Any inner annoyance for being cut off from my book was dashed away when I processed what the guard just said. Of all enemies that Twilight and her friends have faced off in recent years, Chrysalis is the one that often had worried me the most. While other threats from Nightmare Moon to Tirek, to even that crystaling fiasco almost a month ago, have all more than earned their place to make me worried, but what separates Chrysalis from the rest of them is that I never saw her coming.
You see, while I never exactly knew when some threats from the old days would return, but I knew that one day most if not all would come back at one point or another, evil can not be so easily slain. So in the time I spent in ruling for thousand years I have prepared myself for any of the old enemies to return both mentally and physically. I also know that I couldn't do it by myself, I may have enough power to move the sun and the moon, but I'm no god. So, when I found twilight, I knew exactly what to do from then on and the results of that is already known. However, I overlooked one thing that should have been obvious from the start. A new evil threat came to be.
Instead of expecting one of the hundreds of former enemies to appeared at the wedding, a completely new one emerged and caught me completely off guard, and I fell right into that bug’s web of deception. Not only that, but somehow she even managed to get around my future dream ability. It’s a ability I have had for as long as I can remember, essentially the power comes at random and only comes when I am asleep, it usually just gives me a vague image or memory of the future and while I mainly use my best judgement on those vague images, it never has steered me wrong before. Its how I knew when Nightmare Moon would return and why I sent all of Twilight’s friendship letters back during discord’s return. I gave Spike a sincere apology after that along with some gems from the treasury.
The dreams only comes if equestria or the world is at stake and usually days in advance. While it is a great tool, but after the wedding I realized it has also been a crutch. Since I didn’t get even one dream throughout that entire ordeal, Chrysalis took full advantage of my vulnerability. To this day I still don't know if she really had any part in my dream ability failing on me or if it was just good luck on her part, but that just makes her all the more dangerous.
I don't know anything about her.
The changelings however were not new, they have been around for as long as I have. Originally, They were just mindless animals that while they were creepy looking by pony standards, they were actually quite harmless, but then the sightings of them became less and less until it seemed they all just vanished. Celestia actually didn't have time to think about them, since by the time they all disappeared I was still in extreme depression after sending my sister to the moon at the time.
To say that Chrysalis can accomplish the impossible would be an understatement. If it wasn't shining armor and cadence, we would all be in under her tyrannical rule.
After my little inner monologue I then gave a more slightly stern expression. “Are her changelings with her as well?”
“Actually that's the other reason why I came, she is actually in the throne room sitting on your throne completely alone.”
Not even my mask could stop me from turning my head in confusion. ‘What? Chrysalis maybe brave, but she is no idiot. Something is not right.’ I regain my slightly stern expression and look at the guard. “Get my sister to meet me in the throne room as soon as possible and get every guard in the on high alert. I'll see to Chrysalis myself. I'll let you and the other guards know when it is safe to enter.”
The guard raised his hoof in a salute. “Yes princess!” The guard runs away to the other guards as fast as he can. As he leaves I use my magic to teleport straight to the throne room.
When I reappeared in the throne room I find all the guards that were posted here on the floor all unconscious. My face shifts to small frown as I turn to my throne. There sitting with a cunning smile is Queen Chrysalis herself. However while she still gave off the presence of a powerful foe, she didn't look like herself back at the wedding. She looked dirty and hungry. Her hair was a mess, her body seemed thinner to a more unhealthy degree, and while a little difficult to tell I could she had some new holes in her legs and few have gotten bigger. ‘Well, She's definitely seen better days.’
Chrysalis spoke, still as malicious as ever. “Well hello Celestia, glad you could finally make it, I was afraid I was going to have to come back another time. You wouldn't happen to have any food worth offering, I’m a bit famished from the trip over here.”
I was both having strong feelings of confusion and annoyance. ‘What's she doing? Why is she acting like this is casual visit of a friend?’ I kept my stern expression and spoke. “Why have you come back Chrysalis? This is very unlike you compared to last time you showed your face here.”
Chrysalis simply rolled her eyes. “Oh Celestia, always likes to get business out of the way. Well if you're wondering about your guards, don't worry they are simply unconscious, you can't blame me too much for defending myself.”
“Compared to last time I think you can understand why they would have that reaction.”
“Fair point, but that's not the reason why we started this conversation now did we?
I'm sure you are just very curious as to why I made what most people would assume to be incredibly stupid and reckless decision.”
I just stood there and nodded.
“Very well, the reason why I'm here is-”
Chrysalis was interrupted by a familiar blue blur yelling in the royal canterlot voice as it burst through the front doors of the throne room at breakneck speed.
“PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED FOUL PEST!!!”
Luna went at full speed toward Chrysalis and trying to tackle her, but Chrysalis jumped out of the just in time before Luna hit my throne and through the wall. With loud crash Luna broke through the wall and was buried under a pile rubble. Luna quickly got out of the rubble, but was covered in dust and was still disoriented and she was clearly not standing right. I am pretty sure she is seeing stars circling around her.
After Chrysalis got a good look at Luna’s state Chrysalis burst into laughter so hard that she was holding her sides as she was on the floor. As I watched, I couldn't stop myself from facehoofing. ‘Sister, .’
After a few minutes Chrysalis eventually stopped laughing and Luna regained her senses back and was glaring at Chrysalis with fire in her eyes. Chrysalis then spoke. “Oh my, I haven't had a good laugh like that in a long time. You sure know how to make good first impression Luna.”
Luna spoke with great fury. “SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOU VILE PARASITE! OR WE WILL SQUISH YOU LIKE THE BUG YOU ARE!”
“Oh please do, I could go for another laugh.”
Luna was practically grinding her teeth. I had to intervene. I quickly went to Luna’s side to try and calm her down. “Calm down Luna, there is no need for violence right now.”
Luna then looked to me as if I have gone crazy. “Art Though Sick Dear Sister! The Bug That Nearly Took Over Is Right In Front Us And I Intend To Squish It!”
Chrysalis spoke. “I know this isn't the best time, but can you not call me a bug, that's pretty insensitive to say to changelings. so please keep that in mind, Moonass.”
“WHAT DID THOU CALL ME?!”
I was now literally holding Luna back from trying to murder Chrysalis and she was just smiling as Luna struggled. I was tempted to let go. ‘No, don't think like that. You know better. Everyone deserves to be heard out, even her.’
I was getting more and more annoyed by the second as Chrysalis just keeps making the situation harder and harder to control. I then speak both as nicely and sternly as I can. “Chrysalis, can you please be quiet while I try get this under control.”
Chrysalis looked up and put hoof to her Chin. “Hmm, alright, since you asked so nicely.”
[---Chrysalis POV---]
‘This way more fun then I thought It was going to be.’ Watching the two sisters argue is quite enjoyable, It is always a joy to mess with these simple minded ponies. Doing it to the alicorn sisters is all the more entertaining. Though when they do stop arguing, she should actually go back to serious or else they will never believe why she came here. ‘Well they will probably not believe me anyway after my my last visit. Shame I couldn't stick around for the after party.’
Chrysalis simply stood there waiting for about five minutes for the little blue alicorn of fury to calm down. I could tell that Celestia was getting more annoyed by the second, that ‘mask’ can't fool me. After about another minute Celestia managed to get Luna to restrain herself by whispering something in her ear, I couldn't hear the whole thing, but I could've sworn I heard sworn I heard something about a video game. I shrugged it off while Celestia approached me again. I could still tell that Luna still wanted to murder me just by seeing that look in her eyes, but it was just making this experience all the more interesting.
Celestia then spoke with her in calm yet stern voice. “Ok Chrysalis, now that I hope there won't be anymore interruptions. Why can you come here and why are try to make this so difficult.”
“It's not often when I get have this much fun. Anyway now as for why I'm here.”
Celestia still looked stern and Luna was still glaring at hoping just begging for justice. I close my eyes take a deep breath. ‘Well, here goes nothing.’
I take the crown off my head and place it on the floor as both alicorn sisters look at me in confusion. Before either sister could question what I was doing, I then slam my hoof down on my own crown as hard as I possibly could breaking it into hundreds of pieces. Both Princesses look at me in surprise as I then speak. “I hereby renounce my rule as queen of the changelings and I would like to volunteer myself to put to be redeemed with your permission. In exchange I will gladly tell you the location of all the changelings across equestria, including the location of my hive in the badlands so that you can help them from starvation, where I have failed to stop their suffering.
‘Uh, that would have been difficult to do even if I was lying that would still be hard to do.’ I look at Celestia and Luna who both have their jaws wide open. Their faces were priceless. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing at their faces. After a few minutes I realized they were still standing slack jawed, they weren't even blink.
I actually seemed a bit worried as I wave my hoof in both of their faces and even clap a few time to get their attention. “Huh, knew that would be hard to hear, but this a bit over dramatic.”
“Still, their faces are priceless though.”
“Oh no doubt about this, I wish I had a camera.”
“Got it covered.”
I heard a camera click and the flash. It then processed that me and sisters weren't alone in the room. I look up to where I heard the voice to see the Lord of Chaos himself.
“So you’re Discord I presume.”
“The one and only. How many copies of their faces do you want.”
“Three, and are you here to interfere with my plans?”
“Nah, I'm just here to watch the show. It's more fun to watch this train wreck.”
“As long as I'm not on that train I think I don't really care.”
“Well said, where do you want those pictures sent?”
“One in my room, one to my changelings, and one sent to Twilight when she is with all her friends.”
“Great choices.” He snapped her fingers and the camera disappeared. “You know, i'm pretty sure that most ponies would think that we would never get along.”
“Says who? And why should either of us care?”
“Hmm, fair point.”
“As amusing as this is, can you get them out of that state, I doubt that would help what little of the chances have.”
“While as much as I would love to finally have an excuse to dump ice cold water on those two. I am a bit skeptic on whether or not I should help.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Like you’re one to judge, but if it will make you feel better I can assure you that fluttershy will not be harmed in plan. Check with your magic to see if I'm lying.”
Discord stared at me with a slight frown on his face. His eyes changed into multiple different colors as he looked into mine, before I could tell him to tell him to stop he pulled away with his more friendlier expression like before. “Alright, It was fun talking with you Chrysalis, I’m off to do things you couldn’t even comprehend.”
He vanished before I could give a response. ‘Well, while a bit annoying, he seems like he could be fine ally to hang around in my spare time.’ A few seconds later two Ice buckets appeared over Celestia and Luna’s heads and was dumped on both of them. They both squealed as the ice water was dumped on them. I couldn’t help, but laugh. ‘A fine ally indeed.’
Once they both finally snapped their heads toward me, with clearly unhappy expressions on their faces. “You can’t possibly blame me for what Discord did.”
Luna was about to retort, but didn’t have response since I was right. Celestia then looked at me with seriousness on her face despite still being dripping wet. “Chrysalis, are you serious about what you said.”
Once Celestia said that, I decided to get back to why I came here. “Deadly, Celestia. I may not be a good person in any sense of the word, but I do care about my changelings. I was serious back at the wedding when I said It’s my job to feed my subjects. In case it hasn't been obvious by my appearance, were not exactly in good spot at the moment. We're starving, say what you will about me, but can you honestly just sit idly by and watch a race die painfully and slowly?”
Celestia showed some slight sadness on her face while Luna looked away with clear guilt on her face. Chrysalis had a very very small smile on her face. “That's what I thought. Don't get me wrong I had a several revenge plans on how to take over again, but, I'm not heartless, metaphorically I mean, I could tell that my subjects were all in desperate need-”
Luna interrupted me in the middle of my monologue. “Wait, what does thou mean metaphorically?”
I was actually a little surprised that I was stopped because of that. I'm not usually interrupted during these kinda things. “Oh, well, I literally don't have a heart in my body.”
“So how do you possess any positive feelings for anything.”
“That's kinda complicated to explain-”
“Do all changelings lack the presence of heart?”
“No they have hearts, can get back to-”
“How come only you have the lack heart?”
“I don't know, can you please stop-”
“Aren't there more changeling queens?”
“No! Now shut up and let me talk!”
I noticed that Luna was giggling. I also saw that Celestia was holding a hoof to her mouth trying to cover a smile and failing. I growled a bit in anger. ‘And they thought I wasn't taking this seriously.’ I sighed and tried to restrain my anger as I recomposed myself. Celestia and Luna recomposed themselves as well.
“Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted, I decided to swallow my pride and come here to ask for your help in the only way that show the seriousness of the situation and give you even the smallest hint to trust me. So in exchange for you helping my people I will be in one your redemption programs. Me shattering my crown and renouncing my queenship was just to add to seriousness of my situation. So let me ask you something Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.”
They both had their full attention on me as I speak as serious as possible. “Are you two willing to put your hatred toward me aside and try to redeem me so that you can help a dying race, or would rather kill two bird with one stone and kill or imprison me so that the changelings don't have a leader so they can starve to death, so you ponies have one less threat to deal with.”
I watch them as their expressions turn to more guilty and worried as they glance between one another. I mentally smile. ‘Hook, line, and sinker.’
[---POV Luna---]
‘This is has to be trick I just know it.’ Back at the wedding when I found out that missed the entire catastrophe, I felt awful that I couldn't be there for my subjects and protect them from this mistress of deception. So I swore to myself that the next time I see this harlot I would crush her like the bug she was. Now me and my sister are actually considering helping her, but damned her mastery of speech because her words are actually working their way around my heart. ‘Curse your words of honey Chrysalis.’
My sister then spoke after having a minute to think. “Chrysalis, if it's all the same with you, me and Luna need to talk in private about this.”
Chrysalis spoke in her annoyingly royally superior voice. “Oh, sure, have a little sister conversation, just don’t make it last all day.”
Before we left, Chrysalis’s stomach made a rather loud growl that caused her to blush embarrassingly. “If it’s not too much to ask, could I get something to eat. Before you ask, changelings do need love to live, but meat can keep me alive when there is no love around. I would imagine your chefs can prepare meal for griffons?”
Celestia was more sympathetic this time, but she still suspicious. So was I. “Sure I'll let the chef and guards know right away.”
After me and my sister got the knocked out guards to the infirmary we informed the chef’s and some guards different guards to keep an eye on chrysalis and to give her some food. After that we both went into my personal bedchamber to discuss this issue. I quickly put a sound cancellation spell on the room so no one can hear our conversation. Celestia looked out my bedroom window with neutral expression on her face. I was the first to speak.
“Tia, you know that she can't possibly be doing solely on good intentions. This has to be apart of some other master plan of hers.”
Celestia remained quiet.
“Tia, you can't possibly believe she is actually doing this with the good of her heart, she even said she doesn't have one!”
Celestia still didn't say a word.
“Tia! I understand you have good heart, but that monster deserves none of our-”
“I don't know.” Celestia said interrupted her.
I was a bit surprised by that interruption. “Tia?”
Tia turned to me. “I don't know. I know that she can't be trusted, but I know I can't let her people suffer. I know she hurt me and my ponies, but she clearly is hurt herself. I know she is a master lair, but I know you can't go your whole life without telling the truth at one point or another. Luna, I don’t like this anymore then you do, but I can't help but sympathize to her dilemma.”
I stare at my sister with my mouth slightly open and with a expression of curiosity and a bit of worry.
“Luna, we both know all too well that no one is born evil. We don't know a single thing about her past or what's she's been through. I'm not saying to trust her completely, hardly, but I feel we should give her a chance. Just one, even one chance can be enough to make all the difference.”
I stood their standing in silence as looked at my sister. Not sure on how to feel. I sigh.
“I still don't like this.”
“You don't have to. It won't be easy, but if she is serious about redemption, then there will be a lot to benefit from this in the end.”
“What do thou mean Tia?”
“Well let's think about this. If this does work, if the changelings really do want to be apart of equestria, if some do choose to be in the military, it would definitely help those few missions that require stealth.”
“I so pose.”
“Regardless of negative feelings about chrysalis, I have to admit she is master strategist. I can actually respect that. Even if she does use her it for selfish needs, she does know a way with words.”
“Tia?”
“Just because she's a enemy doesn't there can't be good qualities to talk about. If I'm being honest with myself, it is a little refreshing to see a villain that smarts before power. I can't even count how times an enemy who had too much tried to take over equestria by brute force.”
“Oh I remember that all too well back in the old days Tia. I can't imagine it was easy defending this country by yourself for thousand years.”
“It at least gave me practice. Luna, with your feelings aside, can you actually name at least one positive thing about chrysalis?”
“There is nothing to say.” I pouted.
“Luna…”
“Fine, if there is anything I can say, I can respect her use of resources. I would have never thought that anyone could make changelings into such a real threat and do it so well. What is all this for anyway sister?”
“There is a old saying I learned a long time ago. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
“Who would make a saying like that?”
“No really knows, It's just something to consider.”
“...Tia, I won't like this, but I'll go with redemption for Chrysalis. But the second she looks like serious trouble I will throw her in the dungeon myself.”
“Thank you Luna.”
Tia then walked up to me and we hugged.
“At least tell me you won't make the redemption for Chrysalis easy.”
“Oh trust me Luna, she may have caught me off guard before, but that will never let that happen again. Plus If she does have anything else planned, I have a few ideas to may make it harder to accomplish.”
“Mind if I hear one?”
“Trust me, you'll know it when you see it.”
“Thou can be a cruel sometimes dear sister.”
“I know.”
We let go and decide to head back to the throne room. ‘I hope chrysalis hasn't caused any more trouble while we were here.’
[---POV Chrysalis---]
“You guards really need to not be so jumpy.”
I was standing in the throne room with about seven more guards all around her lying on the floor in pain and moaning.
“All I did was pick up my knife in my magic to cut my meat and you all assume I'm going to stab it into someone's eye or something.”
In my magic I'm holding plate, a fork, a knife, and piece of cooked cow meat called a steak. ‘I need to ask the chefs on how to make this stuff.’ I cut piece and eat it.
After I swallow it was then I noticed that Celestia and Luna were looking at the mess. I then responded with slight annoyance in my tone. “Your guards really need better training, both in combat and self control. A backbone would help too.”
I could see Celestia sigh and Luna still glaring daggers at me. I just simply smile in response. Luna then goes to guards to get them to the infirmary. While Celestia walks up to me with a serious tone on her face, but a little more warm than last time. ‘Now they will take pity on me, I tell them my hive location of my hive, send me to ponyville for my redemption, the princesses are captured thanks to my throne and the changelings while I capture the element bearers myself, even the dragon. Then after Thorax gets word of their capture he gets the princess of love’s family. All threats to my power all out of the way, and to add more icing on the cake I am on Discord’s good side. All that is left to do now is watch the show.’
“After having a talk with my sister we came to decision that we will accept your volunteer for redemption so that equestria can help the changelings.”
“Glad you came around Celestia, I expect now you will send me to Twilight and her friends for my redemption.”
“Who said anything about that?”
“...Excuse me?” ‘What did she just say?’
“Who said anything about Twilight redeeming you?”
I didn’t show it, but I was taken completely by surprise by that, but it didn’t last long. ‘...Clever Girl. Guess I should have expected you wouldn’t be so easily fooled like last time. No matter, I will just use some of backup plans.’
“Well, if they won’t who will?”
“I’ll give you a hint, you're looking at her.”
I raise an eyebrow as I deadpan. “You? isn’t your schedule constantly filled with things to do.”
“I have time for hobbies and I have been looking for a new one.”
I mentally sigh. ‘This will be harder than I anticipated.’
“Ok, Celestia, what is the first part of my redemption.”
Celestia then used her magic on her and before she knew it, she was wearing a French maid outfit while holding a broom and vacuum cleaner.
“You can start by cleaning that mess in the throne room.”
I look the hole in the wall from before. I turn to Celestia with biggest deadpan I could muster.
“You can't be serious.”
Celestia had her warm smile on her face, but I could tell it was so pose to mischievous. ‘I will make you regret this one day Celestia.’
Author's Note
I hope you all enjoy this story, this was a lot of fun to work on and is my biggest single chapter yet. It may not seem much, but this is big accomplishment in my book. Also just clearify, my interpretation of Luna is when she is running on emotions alone she often speaks in the royal canterlot voice. Most noticeably when she is pissed.
Anyway I hope you all enjoy. Have a Trollestia. 