What Is This Place?

Chapter 12: Etiquette Lessons (Matthew)

“So, Rarity, what exactly are you planning to do for us?” The boutique was fairly spacious. It looks smaller in the actual show, let me tell you. The place was filled with mannequins (uh, ponyquins?) and a vast selection of clothes hanging in wooden wardrobes. There was also a door at the end of the room that, judging by the color of the room as far as I could see, was a kitchen. Just beside it were some stairs that lead to the second floor, and to the extreme left of the room was a platform and a beauty station, presumably both used for modeling porpuses. Surroundings aside. Rarity trotted down to a table, which I could only assume was the counter, and left her saddlebag behind it.

“Well, first I will need to take both of your measurements. But I must say that I obviously have never made any type of clothing that’s actually close to what you wear, so I’ll have to improvise. But first things first,” she turned around to face me and Peter “I will require for you to-” She stopped, noticing something or, well, noticing the lack of presence of someone. “Wait, where’s Peter?”

I took a look to where Peter was just a few moments ago, and indeed, he was no longer there. Which, using my powerful deduction powers, meant something was about to happen. “My, you’re absolutely right! Well then, you might want to take cover behind your desk.”

Rarity looked at me with a mix of worry and confusion. “Huh? Whatever are you talking about?”

“Just trust me,” I replied “you don’t want to be around when Peter does whatever he’s about to do.”

Her look changed to one that was still frightened by the earlier statement, but determined as well. “No, I shan’t do any of that until you explain to me what’s going on.”

“Your call then. One...”

Now she was a bit more scared, but still didn’t want to leave my side, it seems. I think it was more because of fright than pride. “W-what are you doing?”

“Two...”

“What are you counting for?”

“...Three.”

Exactly after my countdown ended, there was a loud explosion coming from the kitchen, followed by Peter crashing through the wall flying towards us. Before getting close to us, he collided with the floor and started sliding towards us instead and stopped just before Rarity, who had a very comical and shocked expression plastered on her face. I couldn’t help it but to be impressed as well by Peter’s way of appearance. After not more than 10 seconds, he looked up and simply stated: “What? Just a normal day for me.” He began to get up and I noticed that his pajama was a bit scratched, ripped, and burned. He looked at me and smiled. “Accurate countdown, by the way.”

Even though I wondered how he managed to make the kitchen explode, I decided not to dwell on it and I just smiled at him, probably to provide comfort to Rarity who had her kitchen utterly destroyed by an idiot. “Eh. What can I say? You get used it. Don’t you remember the C4 incident?”

Peter let out a chuckle. “Ha! That was funny wasn’t it?”

“Dude, I think you’re still alive and kicking because of a freaking miracle.”

“No man, I’ve told you this before! I beat De-”

I cut him off before he could finish. “You beat Death on a Modern Warfare 3 death match, yes, I’ve heard that story, and I still don’t believe it.”

“Well, whatever? I just beat him again anyways. I think I’ll challenge him to Minecraft to see who can find and get a diamond faster next time.”

“I... what?” No, seriously, what?

“What... happened?” Said Rarity, apparently finally snapping out of the initial shock, which, in situations like this one, is usually followed by an extreme burst of anger .“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA HAVE YOU DONE!?”

I tried to calm what was about to become a mess of screaming. “Wait Rarity, chill down. Peter here is sort of a repair man, so he’ll have your kitchen and wall looking like new in no time. Right Pete-” When I turned to face Peter, the wall had already been repaired completely along with the kitchen, and he was sitting on the floor munching happily on a sandwich. “Okay, seriously, how the hay do you do that!?”

He just stared back at me with a seemingly confused look and raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”

“Are you kidding me!? You just repaired a wall in less than a minute! THAT’S what I’m talking about!”

Peter, who still seemed pretty confused, looked back at the wall, then to his sandwich and then to me an a very skeptical Rarity. “Well would you look at that! I DID repair the wall and got a bonus sandwich!”

I was about to go crazy on him and question him further, but decided that pressing on such a matter would only bring me a horrible headache, so after letting go of that ‘little’ issue, I decided to check on Rarity, who was now even more shocked to see her wall completely repaired and without a scratch. “Don’t worry Rarity, you’ll get used to this kind of stuff... Eventually.”

“Uh... Well...” stammered Rarity, not completely out of her shock. All of the anger that she may have gotten a few seconds ago was completely forgotten and replaced by confusion. She quickly shook her hair (but not too much, for that would ruin her mane. Or at least that’s my theory) and regained a semi-sane pose. “Well, never mind that! At least you repaired both of my wall and my kitchen after that little... accident?”

“Incident,” retorted Peter.

“Ugh... I can’t believe now I have to deal with two of you...”

“With two of who?”

“You and Pinkie Pie. You have almost the same... unnatural powers.”

“Oh, you mean this Pinkie Pie?” Very abruptly and seemingly out of nowhere, Peter lowered both of his hands, and when he raised them, Pinkie Pie was being held up by him.

“Hi Rarity!” exclaimed Pinkie with apparent enthusiasm.

“...Yes, the one and only, apparently.” I was absolutely sure Rarity would go through a mental breakdown soon.

Pinkie looked back at Peter (apparently not completely surprised she had been teleported from one place to another) and gasped. “Woah, its that weird alien thing! Can I throw you a party now?”

“Wait, didn’t you already do that?” asked Peter, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh… I guess you’re right Peter! Well then, put me back in my house so I can get back to work.”

“Ok then.“ I saw how again Peter placed Pinkie Pie down next to him but in a blink of an eye Pinkie was gone. Rarity and I stood wide eyed at the recent turn of events, but I keep my cool. I had to if I wanted my sanity to be intact.

“That was certainly…. amusing, to say at the least…” said Rarity, still trying to get over the fact that Peter just teleported Pinkie Pie from and back to her house. She sighed after a while, possibly calmer now, and turned around, although one would think she would be used to this kind of stuff. “Ok gentlecolts, I will need you to take your clothes off.”

“Woahoho!” Peter exclaimed, raising both of his hands, “buy me dinner first!”

Rarity looked back at us, a skeptical look plastered on her face, obviously not knowing why it was wrong for us to do such an uncouth act. “What do you mean dear?”

“Well, Rarity,” I said, stepping in before Peter could say anything that would just confuse or worry Rarity even more “back where we come from it, isn’t quite, let’s say, appropriate to take our clothes off in front of women or, well, in front of anyone for that matter.”

“Why wouldn’t it be-“ she stopped as something seemed to click inside her mind, and started blushing intensely.

“Oh! I am terribly sorry!” she stammered.  “I did not intend it in that manner, I just intend to take your measurements to make your garments.”

“I’m sorry Rarity” I began “but we can’t. It’s just not right for us.”

“Yeah Rarity. Why would you need to take our measurements again?”

To this Rarity looked back at Peter, once again confused. I bet she’s having a long and weird day. I know I am. “Whatever do you mean by ‘again’, dear?”

“I mean, why would you take the measurements again, if you’ve already got them right here?” He pulled out one small sheet of paper recognized as the ones Rarity uses to organize each of the areas of the new garment she creates which was divided in height, hip measurements, etc.

Rarity seemed a little annoyed as she grabbed it and examined it, and then looked up once again. “Where did you get this, Peter?”

“PSX gave it to me, of course!”

Now it was my turn to give him a questioning look. “Peter, who in the world is PSX?” My confusion only grew more and more whenever Peter started blabbering about something.

Peter gasped, and threw his arms up to the air once again, “You don’t know who PSX is!? You monster! That’s almost as bad as a sin!”

I just sighed and was about to facepalm, but decided against it. “Then tell me who he is so I don’t have to sin anymore...”

“He is the god of all of us, of course! PSX stands for “PlayStation Xbox! I cannot believe you havn’t heard about him!”

I was really worried about him now. “...Peter, are you high?”

Peter just sighed at my remark, and looked at me with a cold stare. “Matt, that’s your 3rd strike. You’re banned from my friend list.” he then proceeded to fold his arms and turn around, obviously ignoring me.

“Wh-What?” This was going too far. “Dude, you can’t ban me! We’re not in an Internet group or something! We’re just friends!”

“And that is exactly why you’re banned from my friend list... Harrumph!”

I began to wonder when Peter started worshipping this PSX guy and was about to reply to him in an attempt to get him to forgive me, but knowing him, I decided it was better to just let things go their way, so I just turned to Rarity, who was inspecting the sheet of paper that Peter handed her over. “So, is everything in order there?”

“Hm,” she answered, obviously still eyeing and studying the measurements. “Well, these do seem absurdly accurate, so I guess these measurements, whether they are true or false, will have to do.”

“Is that so? Well then, do you need any help with those suits? I would be more than glad to help, although I’m not all that sure about Peter...” I turned back to Peter, who was still ignoring me.

“Oh no, my dear! I could not possibly ask you to do such a thing for me. I assure you I am completely able to do it on my own.” Retorted Rarity, giving me a generous and sincere smile with no trace of sarcasm on it.

“Oh, okay then, I guess. Then do I wait for you to be done, or...?”

“Oh, most certainly. There is a couch just beside the modelling section, so do make yourself comfortable over there while I get to working. That goes for you too, Peter.” Peter was still ignoring me and Rarity, although why he was ignoring her was a total mystery for me at the moment.

“Well, thanks Rarity. I’ll just go over there and wait for you to be done then.” So I did exactly that. I went over to the couch Rarity had told me to, and sat there. Peter was just at the other side of the room, trying to solve a Rubik’s cube that I will probably never know where he got from, but I decided not to think about it too much, just like all of the other things that Peter does. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I began to get bored, up to the point where I started feeling sleepy. I tried to fight against it, but to no avail, and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

A/N: Sorry if there are some mistakes and whatnot. Hopefully, if there are, they will be corrected by tomorrow or something. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I know it wasn't worth the wait, but the interesting stuff is about to come! I promise! NAY, I PINKIE PIE PROMISE, DAMNIT.