What Is This Place?

by DapperjackHQ

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Comedy
Length: 23183

2 teenagers find a portal to Equestria in a cave in the deep of the forest. May the adventure begin!

[Discontinued]
Matthew and Peter are just two normal bronies. Being forced to go to an isolated cottage in the middle of the forest in an attempt for them to get separated from electronics, the two teenagers are bored out of their minds. However, in the middle of the night, something attracts their attention, leading them to a cave in the deep of the forest, and while they try and explore it, they will find their way into a whole new world that they've been aching to live in for months!

Tags will be added as the story progresses.

Cover art made by the awesome Laleck!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-07 05:43:49 UTC

The Beginning

Note: This story is narrated by two entirely different people, so at the start of each chapter, we will specify who is currently narrating (Peter or Matthew). How will you know? Here, I'll give you an example

"Chapter #: Chapter's Title

And since this is a story narrated by 2 people you are not familiarized with, we'll give you a little heads-up on their personalities:

Matthew McDonnell: A 16 year old teenager, born in McAllen, Texas. Brown, short hair and light brown eyes with glasses. 5'7''. He knows when to get serious and when to be funny/humoristic. Whenever he gets the chance, he'll make a pun. Even if it sucks, he doesn't care. I guess you could say he's... punny. Big fan of acoustic music, zombies, and ponies. Tries to be as descriptive as possible, sometimes failing epically.

Peter Knight: A 15 year old teenager born in LA, California. Black, buzzcut hair and light green eyes. 6'2'' He does NOT know when to be serious, only funny (or stupid, your call) and he will almost never take anything seriously, unless he really cares about it or it's something EXTREMELY important, like life and death. He doesn't take his studies seriously, he prefers to sit on a couch all day playing XBOX. Tries to tell tales in a rush, which leads him to miss some important details sometimes.

So without further interruptions, here is our little piece of "art" (yeah, right).

Chapter 1: The Beginning (Matthew)

It all started in what me and my friend, Peter, thought would be a normal summer vacation. I was at my house playing XBOX when I get a call from Peter, telling me that his parents made him go to their new summer house, which was in the middle of the freakin' forest, and he told me that he was allowed to invite someone. I couldn't bear the thought of him being bored out of his mind for 3 weeks straight, so I accepted to accompany him on this, let's say, "adventure".

2 days passed. I had just finished packing up when Peter and his parents came for me. Naturally, I grabbed my iPod Touch and my Blackberry, and headed off. When I got to the car, Peter's mother told me that she would take both my iPod and Blackberry when we got to the cottage. I'll try to imitate Rarity real quick now:

Of all the worst things that could happen this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.

I mean, seriously. How will we survive for 3 weeks without music, and most importantly, ponies? Meh, whatever, we can still sing like retarded seals and make up pony stories.

Anyways, it took us about 3 hours to arrive to our destination. I guess I was lucky that his crazy mother didn't take away my clock as well, considering it's an "electronic device". The place was, quoting Fluttershy, "um... nice". It was a fairly small cottage in the middle of the freakin' forest. The cottage was made out of maple wood, and I could notice the ceiling was fairly damaged. If any storm hit the cottage, well, we'd be screwed. It was a good thing it was going to get repaired in the next couple o'days.  When we got out of the car, we walked up to our room. It was fairly comfortable. Two Queen sized beds, a little night table, some drawers and a closet. Did I mention the room was fairly dangerous as well? Seriously, when Peter sat on his bed, all four bed legs collapsed on each other, leaving an almost destroyed bed with a fairly confused person on top of it. And that's not all. When I opened the closet, the door almost falls on me, like if Pedobear was waiting inside of it. We're lucky to say we're still alive.

We got out of the cottage and took a little walk on the forest. Whoopity freaking doo. Now, Peter was bothering me the whole walk, telling me something along the lines of "this is a(n) X, it is not eatable, do you understand?"

"Yes, Peter, I understand." I replied every time. Other than that, we talked about the usual stuff we talk about. You know, zombies, ponies, explosions, Scootaloo- I mean, chicken, TF2, etc.

"Hey look, poisonous mushrooms." he said.

"How do you even know if they're poisonous? They might be like, a hallucinogen or something."

"Meh, I still think they're poisonous."

"And you think I care because?"

"No, seriously, you're going to die if you touch it."

"Cool story, bro." And guess what I did? Yes, I touched it. Because I'm one fearless badass.

"Cool, there's going to be a funeral soon! Do you want me to play MLP music in it?"

"Please do, Peter."

I noticed we were walking too far away from the cottage, so I told Peter to head back. As we returned, he kept telling me that stuff was not eatable and reminding me that I was going to die, saying that he would keep my video games.

Night time at last. The day sure goes by fast when you're having fun, doesn't it? Might be your case, since I'm bored out of my mind and a minute seems like a freakin' eternity to me. Me and Peter went to our room to get some well-deserved sleep (That is, after we checked the closet, underneath the beds, the drawers, below the mattress, etc. for anything that wanted to eat/kill us in the middle of the night, and making sure our beds wouldn't bend and break our bones while we were sleeping).

Peter's a fairly heavy sleeper, so he didn't wake up when there was a sound outside of the window. It sounded like something broke apart right outside of the window, and to be honest, I was relieved it wasn't the wall itself. I would've gotten back to sleep, but when I was about to, I saw something that really shocked me. Twilight's... cutie mark? I could only stare at it for a second before it dissapeared in the woods. "Peter, did you see that?"

"Go headbutt a bullet, I'm tired."

"No, Peter, this is important. I think I saw Twilight's cutie mark out there. It went into the forest!"

"...I told you not to touch that mushroom. I think you're right, It must have been hallucinogenic. Now go back to sleep."

I wasn't in the mood of taking his insults, so I pushed him out of bed. "Now you know I'm dead serious. Get your ass up and follow me."

When he was still getting up, I grabbed my flashlight from my bag (yes, we didn't put our stuff in the closet. We're still too young to die) and put on my hoodie. I threw Peter's jacket to his face before he could whine about getting up and went out, waiting for him to follow me, which, surprisingly, he did after a short while.

We started following what I thought were Twi's hoofprints, thanks to Peter's knowledge on how to track wildlife animals, something his dad taught him. I didn't like the forest. It looked too creepy at night. I mean, it was beautiful when the sun was up, but right now it looked like some bear would maul you in that instant and you wouldn't even realize.

After following the tracks for a good 30 minutes (since they kept going in freakin' circles), we stumbled upon a cave. "So... Should we go in there?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think the flashlight will work for illumination?"

"Of course it wi-" Then the flashlight died. How freakin' convenient. "...Should we go in now?"

"I don't know."

"You just want to go to sleep, don't you."

"I do- I mean, yes."

"Figures. Come on you big Scootaloo, let's go."

"Don't call me a chicken! I'm just sleepy!"

So we went into the cave. Needless to say, it was really dark, and we couldn't see anything in there. But we didn't care, we just kept running inside, because we're fearless bastards. After half a minute of wandering, we noticed a dim light in the distance of the cave. Bingo. We started going towards the light slowly at first, then curiousity got the best of us and started running. We were almost there, when all of a sudden we fell in a hole we did not notice.

Authors note: Oh man, I suck at cliff hangers...

Interdimentional Crack

Chapter 2: Interdimentional crack (Peter)

"Well, dammit." I said as I sat up from the dirt covered surface with a head ache, by my side laying unconscious on the ground was Matthew... The only light in the place was the faint glow from the moon.

"Hey man," I started kicking him "Get up!"

"Muh... Muhmeh?"

"Dude, get the buck up!" Wait, what? "Hey, buck? BUCK! WHERE ARE MY BAD WORDS!?"

"What the hay happened?" Matthew said as he started getting up from the ground.

"BUCK, MAN. I CAN'T CURSE. WHAT IS HAPPENING? AND WHY THE BUCK AREN'T WE INSIDE OF THE CAVE ANYMORE!?"

He quickly put his hand on my mouth. "Shh! Shut the buck up! What if somebody hears us!?"

"Fine, but I'm still mad."

"Okay. we need to find out what's going on. Just let me grab my...Wait, where are my glasses!?" Oh, perfect. Just perfect. Now we're in the middle of nowhere and I have to guide a semi-blind guy around. So, we're in a forest. What, you want a description? Just imagine a bunch of trees, for Pete's sake. For some reason, the forest seemed familiar, but unknown at the same time. Surroundings: Dark, spooky, creepy and... is that a light? Yes, it is a light!

"Hey, Matt, I think I can see a light over there, come on!"

"Oh, what a great idea Peter! Let me just follow a light I CAN'T SEE."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot you were blind for a moment."

"I'm not blind! My eyesight is just- You know what, never mind. Just... guide me."

"Fine, here grab on to my shirt. Oh well, great, I'm in PJ's."

"And now you know why I sleep with my clothes on."

Matthew accepted my help and I guided him through the forest, after a while we found a path toward the light. When we got closer to the source of the light, I could finally see where it came from, which was... Twilight's... tree... house.   Oh BUCK YEAH! I discovered where we are, but poor Matthew was still clueless of what was going on without his glasses.

"What... Why did you stop?"

Snapping out of my trance, I said "Oh, how sad, we already found our way to the cottage." Insert sad face here.

Matt looked up, and by the look on his face, I could tell he noticed the light. Without warning, he sprinted to Twilight's house. Before I could stop him he was already running inside "Matthew no! It was a joke, we aren't in my house!"

But it was to late...

He was already walking around the house stretching his hands out in front of him to not crash against any of the book shelves, but that didn't stop him from crashing again and again against book shelves every once in awhile. It didn't take him long to find Twilight. He started making out the shape of her head with his hands .

"Oh my, I didn't know you had a little doggy!" He started petting and making funny faces to her. "What's it's name.

"Umm, Matt? That isn't a dog..."

"Uh.. I don't mean to bother, but could you tell your... "pet" to get off me?"

Matt's jaw literally dropped as he backed off from her. "I.. I know that voice! You're.. You're..."

Twilight raised an eyebrow with a very confused and puzzled look. "I'm... what?"

and before he did anything else he launched himself at her but sadly he missed and fell on his face on the floor.

I, naturally, laughed out loud. "You blind."

"SEMI-blind." He corrected, raising his hand.

"Wait a second! aren't you too the ones that..." She seemed to have realized something. "Oh Celestia. You aren't supposed to be here! Not at all! What are you two doing here!? Did you two follow me through the crack?"

"Yeah... about that we kind of fell down the hole or the crack how you call it, following your candle light..."

"You two fell into the dimensional crack?"

"If the dimensional crack looks like a hole in the ground that seems to never end  and make you appear in the middle of the forest then, yes, we did"

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no. This is bad,  this is very bad!"

"Oh come on! It cant be that bad. I mean, can't we just crawl back in through the same hole?"

"It's not as easy as it sounds!" She explained. "The crack may stay in the same place in you dimension but here in Equestria it appears and disappears in distinct places"

"Oh. That sure as hay sounds bad. But... if it drifts so often, how come you found a way to use it?"

Twilight sighed. "I have been recording where the crack appears but every time anything goes through it, it gets damaged and changes its place of appearing and time it's open, I had been recording its place of appearance for 5 months now, just to be able to get there once and used a device in my saddle bags that I invented to not damage the crack , but now that you two have crossed over at the same time, it has been extremely damaged. Who knows when it will appear again or..." She bit her lip.  "If it will ever appear again"

"Okay, bad is a good description for the situation then , so then what will we do?"

While I said that Matt was already crashing against the book shelves again looking for me or Twilight. I'm not sure who.

"Um... What's the matter with him?"

"you could say he's blind, or are you not Matt?"

"NO, I AM NOT. I JUST CAN'T SEE VERY WELL WITHOUT MY GLASSES"

"Oh, why didn't you say so before?" She said smirking, while she approached at Matt, "Here, let me help you."

Twilight's horn started to glow and thin glass contact lenses appeared in front of Matt. Twilight placed them on his eyes with her magic, he blinked a little in response and backed away. Then he looked at me.

"What did you do?"

"Well, not me actually. Your saviour there did it."

Matt turned around and saw Twilight grinning slightly at him. "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH." He instantly proceeded to glomp Twilight.

"Uh. You're quite welcome, I guess..."

"Um, Matt. I think you can get off her, like now"

Matt refused to move away from her shaking his head. "I CAN'T. SHE'S SO CUTE."

Twilight responded with a slight blush. "Ah.. Thanks. But it's getting a little... uncomfortable."

"Oh. I'm sorry, anything for you!"

"I'm really sorry Twilight for Matt's abrupt behavior "

"Oh, don't worry. It's no problem at all."

"So what, or better said, where are we going stay during this time in Ponyville? I don't think the citizens here will receive us with a hug..."

"You're right. I have to make sure you aren't seen by anypony, so you two will have to stay here at the library with me. I'm sure one of you will fit in the guest bed upstairs, do any of you two mind sleeping on the couch?"

"Oh couch me like."

"Ooookaay... But remember, not anypony except me can know of your existence or about who you two are, okay?

All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie appeared out of no where and started speaking non stop. "What do you mean nopony can't know about them? They're new! I should throw them a New Pony Party! Although they don't seem like ponies they're big and they look like shaved alpacas standing up with thumbs and feet." She took just a moment to catch her breath. "They're so weird!"

"P-P-Pinkie?! What're you doing here!?" Twilight blabbed out. "How did you even know they were here!?"

"Well, duh! I was at Sugarcube Corner making some turnips when all of a sudden my tail twitched, eye fluttered, knee itched, and my ear flopped! Which usually means that two total strangers arrived to Ponyville from the Everfree forest!." She said, while giving us a sly grin.

"Oh. Of course it means that." Twilight answered with a rather annoyed look. "Pinkie, you've got to promise you won't tell anypony about... I'm sorry, but what are your names again?"

I decided that it was time to introduce ourselves. "I'm Peter Knight. and this is-"

"I'm Matthew McDonnell, at your service!" He grinned. I swear I thought his lips were going to fall out of his face after all the smiling.

"Yeah about them," retorted Twilight.

"Mhm! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" She said as she mimicked her famous Pinkie Pie Promise.

After that she just started bouncing, heading to the door carelessly "But I am going to throw them a party someday, right?"

"Yeah, sure. Just not now Pinkie."

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" she said closing the door behind her.

I returned my gaze at Twilight. "Now that is just so Pinkie Pie , let go get the couch shall we?"

"Yeah, let me help you." Twilight offered

"Oh, don't worry. Matt and I can handle it."

She told us how to get to the basement and we went down and saw the couch in between some dusty old books and we moved the out of the way and we took the couch up stairs. When we set it down I started to dust it off with my hand which got me all dirty but still I managed to clean it off and I laid on it and just drifted into sleep I had not noticed how tired I was utile the moment  and that was the end of the day as simple as it gets...

The Wrong Choice

Chapter 3: The Wrong Choice  (Peter)

When I woke up the next morning I was laying comfortably on my new bed... which was a couch... Oh well, Matt was on the guest bed. Twilight had let him sleep in it, he was drooling on it. How nice... I wasn't about to go wake him or Twilight up so I headed down to the kitchen.

I started looking for anything that wasn't a vegetable or a fruit, with no luck at all. Ponyville, Y U NO HAVE MEAT!?

"Buck this, I'm making pancakes." And so my amazing quest to make some pancakes began! Although it was a small kitchen it was amazingly well stocked. Every single thing I had ever seen my mom use to cook was there so it wasn't that hard to find all the ingredients

I started making them as soon as I found a frying pan, I managed to make 3 stacks of pancakes. When I was already getting ready to eat all of them, Matt walked down stairs very slowly and making grunting noises. If it wasn't that I could see him I would have confused him with a zombie and would have slammed the frying pan on his face.

"No go away these are my pancakes"

"Look directly at my face." I was surprised to get such a direct answer from him, but I did look at him anyways. "See this face? This is my 'I don't give a living horse apple' face. Now, give me that." As soon as he finished his sentence, and before I could even react, he was already devouring one of the piles of pancakes.

"Why my pancakes!? You monster! They had kids and family" I said pointing at the other stacks.

"Which will have the same fate as their relatives if you don't eat them soon." He said with his mouth full of food.

I suppose we were making a racket because Twilight  was walking down stairs, looking as exhausted as ever.

"Oh great, now I'm going to get reduced to my last stack"

"Because you're the only guy that is almost as stupid as for to make 3 stacks of pancakes when there are obviously 3 people present." Matt said again. I hate it when he's right.

"What do you mean? Stack of what?" Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

"Pancakes! Breakfast of the gods!" I said, holding up a stack.

"What is a pancake?" Twilight said, clearly confused.

Facepalm. "Oh my bucking god what type of monstrous place doesn't know pancakes."

"The place where you have been aching to live for 6 months. Deal with it." Matt said, with his mouth still full of my pancakes.

"Good point... anyways, here Twilight, try them!"

She didn't seem to convinced. She cut a tiny piece with her magic and placed it into her mouth , the look on her face when she swallowed it was priceless.

"See? Told you."

"They're amazing!"

"And that, my good Twilight Sparkle, is a pancake."

She didn't speak so I grabbed my own pancakes and ate with everyone else. We didn't take long to finish.

"Hey Twilight, one question. Where is spike?"

"Oh my I had forgotten all about him! He's supposed to arrive this morning!"

"Oh, good ... in what part of this is that a problem ? Just tell him who we are, right Matt?"

Matt gave me the 'I don't give a living horse apple' face.

"Ok then...I'll take that as a yes."

"Well..." Twilight said with a hoof on her chin. "I guess you could be right. I'll go get him, will you be alright?"

"Just fine." we both answered

"Fine then, but don't go out or do anything strange like burning down my house."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

She walked out the door leaving us alone …

My first reaction was: "Let's do the first thing she told us not to do."

"Burn down the house?" Matt said, obviously not caring.

"Umm, yeah, that too. But I mean do something stupid"

"You? Peter, the most idiotic person I know, doing something stupid? I do not believe it! Note the sarcasm!"

"You're a troll, you know that?" He noded with a noticeable grin on his face. "...I'm going to go see to what I can burn out there, of course without hurting anypony. "

"Okay, go out, have some fun burning stuff to the core, probably hurting a bunch of fillies in the process."

I was already heading out the door and didn't have the patience to answer him so I kept on walking on my look for something stupid to do.. the town was deserted. Well, I guess its because it was still like 7:50 AM so nopony was awake just yet, so I just wandered around the small village for awhile (walking in circles). The response of me waiting was not giving positive results so I headed under a near by tree and just sat under it. That's when I heard her.

"What are you doing under my tree?".

I looked around to see nopony anywhere ,double checked all around again..."Perfect, now I'm going mad too," I said to myself.

"What? Hey! I asked you a question!".

"Well, who ever you are, I don't care"

"Do you know who you're talking too?"

"My imaginary friend...I guess..."

"Um, no. Look up here."

I looked on one of the tree branches to see...Oh my god... It can't be... it's impossible... no... it was.. it was... my bucking hero... "RAINBOW DASH!!!!"

"Yeah!" She gave out a small chuckle. "That's me! I see you have heard of me already"

"HEARD OF YOU? I love you!"

Her look of pride turned into one that said 'awkward'. "Say what now?"

I started climbing the tree to get to her but as soon as I got close, she started backing away a little.

"Wait, no! Stay away from me, you creepy thing!"

She tryed to to fly away, but as soon as she got of the tree branch I jumped after her and grabbed on to her tail.

"No! Get off me!"

She kicked me on the face and I fell to the floor. I just lied there, face to the ground. I didn't hear her fly away, if not just land and approach me slowly.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Did I kill it?" She asked to herself in a low voice. She sounded worried.

"'Its' name is Peter thank you very much, and no, I am not dead "

As soon as I finished my sarcastic sentence she stomped on me "That's for grabbing on to my tail!"

"I'm still ok, if you were wondering" she proceeded to stomp on me some more

"No I do not care, and what are you? Why don't you suffer from me stomping on you?!"

"I'll have to answer your questions with a question, why should I answer any of your questions?"

"Well because... because... just because I'm Rainbow Dash, got it?"

"Beep wrong I'm not answering nothing to you"

Rainbow Dash kept stomping on me "And why is that!?"

"Because you haven't stopped stomping on me since we met."

"Oh yeah... sorry." She stopped stomping on me and I sat up.

"Wasn't that easy?"

"No, now answer me or I will continue"

"I guess I don't have an option (sarcasm), I am Peter Knight, I'm a human and I don't suffer, that is for the weak!" Show off, I was actually suffering real deep inside myself.

"Whats a human?"

"Well, your looking at one, so I proudly present to you, me, Peter the human"

"I'm not amused... you still didn't tell me how you know my name?"

"Haha that, my filly is a secret"

I got on my feet and ran away for some reason.

"Hey get back here!! I've got questions!"

"Well I'm out of answers, I have told you too much." Truly I had told her too much. I mean, when I headed out of Twilight's house I meant to do something stupid but I took it to a whole new level by doing this, this was just so bucking dumb.

Melee Attack?

Chapter 4: Melee Attack? (Matthew)

At last that son of a pineapple left. I took my time to eat the DELICIOUS pile of pancakes Twilight left behind before leaving to get Spike. OM NOM NOM. I must admit, Peter is an awesome chef. Well, if you can consider making a pile of ordinary pancakes being a chef. Anyways, that's not the point. The point is: I'm bored out of my bucking mind. I started wandering around the library, wondering as to what kind of stuff I could do in this confounded place. I found books. In a library. How amazing is that? Now, changing to complete seriousness mode,I'm not that big of a reader, except for some fan fics I read. Ponies ponies ponies. Everything here would be pony-related, so I figured it would basically be the same, right?

And so, my amazing quest to find an awesome book began! Being as organized as I am (HA RIGHT) I searched the library for an interesting book without making any kind of mess. Well, I wasn't really searching for any books, I was actually playing with the wheeled ladders, making me look like a complete retard in front of no one in particular. Damnit, I always wanted to do that. I was actually having lots of fun!

...Until Twilight came in the library with Spike, scaring the living days out of me, resulting on me falling on my face once again. once again. Instantly the song "let the bodies hit the floor" started playing on my head for no particular reason whatsoever.

"...So everytime we see eachother, you'll fall on your face?" Asked Twilight, failing to contain her giggles, which were adorable, by the way.

"So that's not how you greet people here?" I asked sarcastically.

"Haha, very funny. Anyways, where's Peter? I thought he wanted to meet Spike..." Oh horse apples. Peter's still out doing I don't bucking know what. What do I say? Oh man.

Should I lie? That confounded Peter should've been back by now. Well, bullshit mode activated. "HE'S IN THE BATHROOM."

Twilight was a little startled because of my overreaction, before she reluctantly said "...Okay then. I guess we'll wait for him."

Followed by your daily dose of awkward silence. "...Well? Aren't you going to introduce us in the meanwhile?"

Twilight immedately remember what she brought Spike here for. "Oh, right! Spike, this is Matthew, he's going to stay here for a while, okay?"

I extended my hand to give Spike a friendly shake, but he just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, great, now I have to clean his messes too?"

I was confused at first, but when I looked around, I noticed that alot of the books had fallen of their shelves due to my free fall. I let out an awkward chuckle. "Hehe, sorry buddy, I'll be more careful next time."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll clean it up after a nap." He said waving his claw, then proceeded to leave to the bedroom.

"I think he doesn't like me, Twi."

"Oh, don't worry." She said. "He was worse than that when I first introduced him to Owlicious. He even tried to incriminate him of killing a rat!" She started laughing, and I must say that it was absolutely adorable, almost to the point I almost glomped and snuggled her again.

"Oh, really? I can't say I'd ever seen something like that." ILIED.jpg

"Yeah, I was really mad at first, but he was kind of jealous anyways, and, besides, he learned his lesson after a little encounter in a cave out in the Everfree." She let out a nervous chuckle.

Another awkward silence.

"I thought about asking some questions, since it's really... weird that we can't actually swear or anything like that and, if you haven't noticed, we're in motherhorsing Equestria... OF COURSE I HAVE QUESTIONS. "So, Twilight, can I a-" I said, before I was cut off by a running 6.5 ft tall retard that was screaming like a little filly.

He shut the door before turning to us, shouting "DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR IF YOU WANT TO LIVE."

Twilight was a little startled, but her face quickly changed to one of anger as she looked at me nearly shouting "I thought you said he was in the bathroom!" In return I just shrugged making a very very very VERY bad poker face.

Well, whatever Peter was trying to hold back, he was being rather successful. After about 10 seconds of whatever was on the other side of the wall trying to bring it down, everything went quiet again. "...I think she's gone. Phew, I was worried for a sec-" Said Peter, when we heard a SWOOSH coming from the window.

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!"

"OH NO. USE THE BOOKS, IT'S OUR BIGGEST ARSENAL." Shouted Peter as he rushed to one of the book stands. He started grabbing the heaviest books he could find, throwing them into the air at I-still-don't-know-what. "BOMBARDMENT. BOMBARDMENT."

And I was so scared that I hid behind the couch, so Peter will tell you what happened until I decide to "man up".

(Peter)

"BOMBARDMENT, BOMBARDMENT." I repeated, throwing one book after another. Rainbow Dash dodged all of the books, but I was never going to run out of ammo. "You'll never get me alive!"

"We'll see about that!" She shouted.

She rushed towards me, still dodging every book. I moved out of the way causing her to crash against the book case.

"I'm INVINCIBLE!"

To the kitchen for sharp implements!

I ran towards the kitchen, but my speed isn't a match for Rainbow Dash. She just shoved me out of my path and went back into the air to try and charge at me again, I went for the table in the middle of the library and flipped it to use as cover.

"Bring in the tanks, call the choppa, use the nuke!!!!!!!!!"

"PETER, THIS IS EQUESTRIA, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT HERE." Shouted Matt. "AND WHO ARE YOU FIGHTING WITH, ANYWAYS!?"

"THE POWER OF AWESOME REINCARNATED, I'm having the most fun I've ever had since I got MW3! It's the same but with MORE DOSE OF FRIENDSHIP!"

She came crashing through the table

"STOP HIDING"

"KHOIKHOI MELEE ATTACK"

I whacked her with the horse statue that was on the table I flipped over. She fell to the floor unconscious.

"Woohoo! Kill streak X1!" I shouted, before realising what I just did to my hero. "Wait, what? Did I just... no... NO NO NO NO NO DON'T DIE, I DEPEND ON YOUR AWESOMENESS TO LIVE!"

I bent down to her to listen if her heart was still beating, and luckily it was! Nothing can kill this fearless pony!

He's a pony!

A/N: Did anyone notice the Doctor Who reference in the last chapter?

Edit: YAY. Made some corrections. Thanks Paradox!

Chapter 5: He’s a pony! (Mattew)

A loud thud bought my attention. Well, that and that Peter said something about MW3 before shouting something about a melee attack, which worried me to death.

Needless to say, Twilight was extremely mad at both of us. “WHAT THE HAY!? WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!?”

Peter shrugged. “Um, melee attack?”

Twilight's anger just grew with such a stupid and pathetic response. "Okay, let me see if I get this." She said, trying to sound calmer. She failed. "You went out, when I SPECIFICALLY told you NOT to, while I was going to get because YOU asked me to get him so you could meet him, and then you actually let SOMEPONY see you?! Oh, but not just anypony, but RAINBOW DASH!? Right after that you thought it'd be a good idea to bring her to MY house and throw MY books at her, making my house a complete mess in the process, and then you hit her in the face with a statue!?"

“Uh, that sums it up, yeah.”

That did it. Twilight was absolutely 120% enraged. Her mane and tail almost instantly burst into flames.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE uses WEIRD ATTACK I AM NOT FAMILIARIZED WITH!

It’s super effective!

PETER fainted!

Now, serious mode. shot Peter with some kind of bright ray thing that I'm far too lazy to describe. The point is that it hit Peter right on the chest, resulting in him crashing into one of the bookshelves and the bookshelf falling on him.

Well, now I was officially worried. “Twilight! What did you just do!?”

Twilight finally snapped out of it. She turned back into her real self almost immediately and turned to me. "Wh-what? What did I just...?"  She looked at me with those beautiful eyes. It was a sight that almost made you cry, really. I almost immediately snapped out of my trance, and pointed at the bookshelf that fell on top of my friend. She looked at the fallen shelf and her eyes went wide in horror. “OH CELESTIA, IS HE OKAY!?”

“...I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.” HA. Get it!? Because the bookshelf fell on him because of the gravity!? HAHAHAHAhaha... okay, nevermind. I heard a muffled “stupid” from below the bookshelf.

Twilight was far too exhausted to lift up the bookshelf on her own, so I helped her lift it up. Fortunately, Peter was fine and wide awake with a couple of scratchs, but let’s just say there was a... slight change. I could only stare at him while my jaw literally hit the ground.

Peter just stared at me and the equally surprised Twilight, before finally speaking. “Uh, Why are you looking at me like that? Is my face gone!?” He started rubbing his hands, or well, hooves on his face. “And when did you get taller than me!?”

“Um, Peter...” I said while I pointed at him with shaking hands. “You... might want to take a second look at your hands...”

He stared daggers at me for a second before taking a second look at his hand, and the look of shock in his face was one that made me regret not having a camera at the moment. “I... seem to be missing 5 fingers...” He immediately went to the closest mirror he could find and looked at himself in disbelief. A sort of gray unicorn with blue hair and a red highlight running on both his mane and tail.  He was still shocked for like 3 seconds, then he smiled widely. “Well I seem to be missing 5 fingers, but I’m a pony, so who cares!”

“Did... did I do that?” Twilight said in disbelief while Peter danced around with his brand new hooves.

“Twilight...” I said before a big smiled sprawled across my face “Twilight, that’s amazing! How did you do that!?”

Twilight was deep in thought, and after about 15 seconds of thinking, she turned to Peter. “Peter, can you think about being a human?”

“Well, I don’t know what good it will do, but sure, why not?” he said before he started to do as he was told. All of a sudden a little light started shining on his chest, and before he knew it, he was a human again. “Oh. Hay. No. I’m going back to pony mode!” He said as he started shining again and became a pony once more.

Twilight was dumbfounded."I tried waving a hand in front of her face but to no avail. “Uh. Okay then.” I turned to Peter. “Hey Peter? Don’t you think you should go check on Rainbow? I'm pretty sure she'll need help once she's up."

“Oh hay yeah! You know it brothah fo shizzle!”

“Don’t ever talk like that again.”

“Okay.” Insert okay face here. Then he went to pick her up, and proceed to lay her on the couch.

When I turned to Twilight, she was already wearing that beautiful smile of hers. She then jumped around while exclaiming “YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.” I could only stare at her adorableness while I wondered what was so amazing.

“Uh, Twilight? Are you okay?”

She looked at me once again with those ADORABLE eyes and said “Oh, I’m better than okay!” She seemed to notice my confused look before regaining her composure. “Heh, sorry about that...” she said as she lowered her ears and blushed in the cutest way possible. Then she started to explain what was going on. “You see, I found a magic book a while ago, and a particular spell bought my attention. It was called 'Mindmorph'. It allows the wearer of the spell to choose if he wants to look like a pony or another creature.  Because Peter was already a human, the spell only allows him to turn into a pony and a human. For example, if a pony uses the spell, he can change into a pony and into another creature of his or her decision, but since Peter is not a pony, he can only turn into a human and a pony.”

“Oh. That makes sense, actually...” Then I remembered that I wanted to ask her some questions. “Hey, Twilight. Since you’re in the mood and all, can I ask you some questions?”

Twilight smiled at me. “Sure! What’s been bugging you?”

“Well, for one, I noticed that we can’t use some of the words of our normal vocabulary. Bad words. They change to other words. Like the expression ‘buck’”

She pondered this question for a moment before answering with a confident smile. “Well, you DID travel through another dimension up to here. The abrupt change might have caused slight modifications in your head according to the laws of this world.”

Well, that actually makes sense. “Well, I also noticed that when we were about to enter the cave, the batteries of our flashlight gave out. I find it odd since they were recently bought and fully charged.” She gave me a confused look. “Oh yeah. Batteries are like this weird cylindrical things that have a chamber inside. They are charged with some electricity. They give some of our devices the power to function before the batteries run out of charge.”

“Oh, now I understand. It’s simple, really. The crack has an electromagnetic field surrounding it. It has alot of energy in it, and if I am not mistaken, it will attract and take the charge of any electricity it can find near. Though, I am curious how do they insert electricity into a chamber like you claim they do...”

“Well, I don’t really know how they do it. I just know how they work, sorry.” She gave me an understanding smile. I wanted to ask her why she was spying on us, but it was simple, really. I mean, she’s Twilight. That’s enough explanation. “Well, I think that’s about it then, there’s nothing else that’s bothering me right now. Might think of something later. Though I do have one last question. Well, it’s more of a request, really.”

“Oh, sure, what do you need?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could use the same spell on me...”

“Oh...” She looked down. “Well, I don’t know if I can do it. That's really the first time I've even come close to using it, and it was just because I was extremely mad. Which I'm still sorry about by the way. Besides, I’m really hungry...”

Oh, that last part did it. I’m pretty sure I had an evil grin plastered on my face before I turned to her and said with the best voice acting ever “Uh, well you see, I might’ve sorta eaten your pancakes as well...”

“YOU WHAT!?”

A/N: Well, that's it for this episode. If you're have questions as well, tell them to me and I'll be sure to ask Matthew to ask Twilight because I'm too lazy to ask her myself. Also, let me know if I should be more detailed with this kind of questions and so. And like always, spread the word and review! More readers and good reviews keep this fic on track!

Party Time

A/N: 4.6stars with 50 ratings. Guys, I love you all. Sorry this chapter was delayed a bit. Please read this to know why. And although you don't have to, it'd be highly appreciated for you to read and comment on this other post. I'm sorry if this one is a bit worse than previous chapters, but, hell, it's 3k words long. Give me a break.

Oh, and, Happy Christmas everypony!

Chapter 6: Party Time (Peter)

“You do know I can make more pancakes right?” I said as I helped Matt's pony self up. Twilight had used the same spell on him that she had used on me before, thus turning him into a pony as well. He had turned into a light brown pegasus with wine red eyes and red mane, and his cutie mark was a shield with a thunder bolt behind it.

Speaking of, that son of a grapefruit didn’t tell you about my cutie mark. Well, it’s a screw driver and a hammer aligned so they look like they’re forming an X with some duct tape in front of them.

By the way, why are all of our bad words replaced by a fruit?

Matthew was a little bit more hurt than me, since he clearly had some problems while standing up. “Don’t worry guys. I was just having a… solid conversation with the wall. Haha, get it?” I just rolled my eyes due to the stupid pun.

Twilight was as confused as she was the time after she used the spell on me. “Wha...what happened?”

“Oh, well you know, we’re just getting us to your attacking, then getting yourself confused and then you saying you’re sorry”

“I know, I'm really so sorry this time!”

“So you weren't sorry when you casted the spell on me, threw me against the wall and let one of your bookshelves fall on top of me?”

“Well, yes! But… Ugh, you know what I mean.” Logic: beating your favorite egghead since 2011.

“Ok then, I’ll be going over to help Rainbow Dash” I headed over to where Rainbow Dash was sound asleep and I left Twilight with Matt. I took her to the couch and just stood by waiting for her to wake up.

It took about 10 minutes for me to notice that she started to wake up, and she has the same technique as me when it comes to sleeping: if I don't wake up by myself, no one will wake me up.

I started poking her “Wakey wakey, sleepy head.”

"No!" She kicked me in the face. "Five more minutes!"

The buck itself didn’t hurt too much, but it was hard enough to power up my troll instincts. “But we don't have five minutes! Cloudsdale is burning up!”

The speed in which she got up was amazing. “WHAT!?”

“Now, now, calm yourself. It was a fake, just to get you up,” I smiled and patted her head a little.

“Why, you little...” She looked like she was about to try and strangle me, but she froze when she remembered something. “THAT THING. THE ONE THAT HIT ME, WHERE IS IT!?”

“Oh, that guy? He said he was going to steal all the things in your house.”

“And you let it go do that?!” She was downright pissed now.

“Hey, Iget paid to watch, not interact.”

Her mad face quickly became a confused one. “Wait, what?”

“Nothing.”

She facehoofed. “You're as weird as Pinkie Pie.”

Suddenly, a pink pony appears out of nowhere. “Did someone call my name!?” Everyone except me in the room appeared to be surprised.

“Sure did Pinks! Rainbow said I'm weird as you are”

After her initial shock, Rainbow spoke. “Pinkie, how long have you been there?!”

“Well, she’s been there ever since you woke up, right Pinks?”

“Yes I have! Wow, you’re so fun and beside that you’re new in town I remember when Twilight came to Ponyville for the first time and I was like ‘GASP’ and then I made her a super awesome welcome to Ponyville party! And since I don’t know you or your friend that is obviously trying to think of something to speak of with Twilight because he obviously likes her and the pairing will become canon later,” she pointed a hoof to Matthew, who was now wearing an insanely huge and red blush on his face. “I should make you both a Welcome to Ponyville party!” Out of nowhere, confetti exploded into the air as she raised her front hooves to show how excited she was.

“Yes, that would be awesome! Can we go Twilight? Can we, can we?”

Twilight, who was madly blushing as well, finally came to her senses and said “Ehh… Sure, why not?”

Pinkie Pie squealed “Great! I’ll see you in Sugarcube Corner tonight! Don’t be late!”

“Awesome! See you tonight!” As soon as I finished, she hopped to the door and left the library.

Rainbow Dash spoke first. “You two are so weird”

“You’re invited too Dashie.”

“Don’t call me that. Only my friends call me that.” She made sure to empathize the ‘friends’ in that sentence. “I always go to Pinkie Pie’s party. I’m going to have fun, not for you.”

“Fine by me. As long as you actually go.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She instantly bolted outside of the library, leaving through the window.

“Not so much luck, eh Romeo?” I turned to see Matt making fun of my failed attempts.

“Well, at least I tried. You’re not doing a good work talking with Miss I-throw-random-magic-spells-at-you-and-knock-you-into-bookshelves.”

Matt blushed once again. I’m never going to let him live this down. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Twilight giggled at this, which in turn only made Matt’s cheeks burn harder. “…ANYWAYS. We need normal pony names right okay?” He said, obviously trying to change the subject, which sadly happened.

Twilight spoke up as well. “And we also need to create a back story for both of you. We need to be prepared for anything. I don’t want you going out there and blowing your cover. Firstly, though, we need to think of your names. Anything in mind, Peter?”

I only gave her a confused look. “Peter? I don’t know who that is. My name is Skamper Gunallen.” I proceeded to shake her hoof. “Is that alright?”

Twilight nodded. “Original. Never heard of, but it’s not weird none the less. What about you, Matt?”

Matt just thought for about 6 seconds, and then shrugged. “Eh, I got nothing. Sorry, I’m not very good with names.”

“Ah, don’t worry Matt,” said Twilight as she gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “we’ll think of something, just be patie-“

I just cut her off. “Your name is now Cloudswitcher. Take it or leave it so we can proceed to make our back story.”

Matt and Twilight nodded in agreement, though they seemed to be amazed by my amazing thinking skills. “Okay then, let’s create the story of our lives!” exclaimed Cloudswitcher.

And then Alvin was too lazy to keep writing because the back stories will be revealed later in the story anyways, so he decided to skip this entire scene since he wanted to sleep. Also, he did it for teh lulz.

(Rainbow Dash)

“So, lemme see if I got’cha here. First, a weird alien thing woke ya up from yer sleep, and then you talked for a while, then he ran up to Twi’s library, where he ‘hid’ himself, forcing ya to break in, so he hit ya with a statue on the head, and then you woke up only to find a white unicorn that told ya that the weird thing was stealing stuff from yer house, and lastly Pinkie Pie invited you to the party?”

I have to admit, that didn’t make too much sense, but that’s what really happened! “Uh… Yes?”

“Sugarcube, maybe he hit ya a tiny bit too hard, don’t’cha think?” Applejack snorted. She obviously didn’t believe me.

“But that’s what happened! I swear! Fluttershy, you believe me, don’t you?”

“Um, I’m sorry Rainbow, but that’s sort of hard to believe.” Fluttershy tried to hide behind her mane. How come my childhood friend doesn’t believe me!?

“But- ugh, never mind. Let’s just go to the party okay?” Applejack and Fluttershy only nodded, and we continued our way to Sugarcube Corner.

“So, um, who are these new ponies, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t remember well. They’re both colts, one of them is a red pegasus, and the other one is the white unicorn I was talking to you about. Actually, he seemed really eager about the party, and practically begged me to come along.” And that was the truth, too!

“Aww, someone’s sweet on lil’ Rainbow here!” I immediately regretted saying something as Applejack started making fun of me. “Don’t fret none, Rainbow, we sure won’t tell him anything until he asks ya out first, right Fluttershy?” Fluttershy didn’t say anything, probably because she didn’t want to take sides, but what do I know?

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?” I facehoofed. “Applejack, he WON’T ask me out, and even if he does, I WILL say no. He’s weird and creepy. I don’t want anything to do with him. I’ll probably just ignore him all day.”

“Yer call Rainbow. We’ll find out very soon anyways,” said Applejack. Or more like giggled…

Still in my trance, I just nodded. Before we even realized, we had already arrived to Sugarcube Corner. I looked at a clock hanging just the other side of the street. 7:35. The party had probably already started and was at full swing, and neither of us waited for the other to get in.

Pinkie really outdid herself this time. This party was even bigger than Twilight’s! Well, then again, there were 2 newcomers, so that was to be expected. I just shrugged it off and walked into the room to filled with ponies to (hopefully) find any friend of mine. Applejack and Fluttershy were talking in one of the corners of the room. Pinkie Pie was (obviously) partying hard at the center of the room with several ponies. Twilight was talking with Rarity, probably discussing something relating to fashion or books. Apparently all my friends were busy right now, so I had to find someone else to talk to for a while. I figured I could find one of those new stallions and introduce myself... Scratch that, find the new pegasus stallion, the unicorn gives me the creeps. He wasn’t hard to find. He was drinking some punch beside the treat table like any good socially retarded guy would. He better not be as weird as the other guy…

“Hey, new guy!” I called. He turned his head to me and waved, wearing a smile on his face. Maybe he has heard of me and he’s a fan? I walked up to him and introduced myself. “Hi! My name is Rai-“

He cut me off before I could finish. “Rainbow Dash, winner of last year’s Best Young Flier Competition and aspiring member of the Wonderbolts, not to mention the creator of the legendary Sonic Rainboom, that has only been pulled of twice in the history of Equestria, both times by you?”

“Hah, already heard of me, have you? Yep, that’s me! You forgot the fastest and most awesome flier in all of Equestria, though.” I extended my hoof towards him for a friendly hoofshake.

“Haha, sorry ‘bout that.” He extended his to shake mine. He was kind of strong, but not too much. Average, I think. “Anyways, I’m Cloudswitcher, and it’s a great honor to finally meet you.”

“Well, I didn’t know I had any fans except for the squirt.” Seriously, I didn’t. “You seem like a cool person.”

“Well, coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” He grinned. He was cool. “By the way, I think my friend is looking for you. You met him this morning. He’s a white unicorn, do you remember him?”

He was. “Ugh, that white unicorn freak? What does he want me for?”

“I think it’s obvious, isn’t it?” He facehoofed, but quickly regained his posture. “Look, I know that Pe- I mean, Skamper can be a nuisance sometimes, but he’s a cool guy. You just have to get used to him”

“Skamper? Who’s that?”

“The unicorn freak, Rainbow.”

I don’t know HOW it happened, or, more importantly, WHEN it happened, but the freak appeared out of nowhere from behind my back. “Did somepony mention my name?”

Cloudswitcher was startled by that freak appearing out of nowhere, but obviously, me being the awesome pony I am, kept my cool.

(Quick notice from Skamper: Horse apples. Don’t listen to her. She was even more scared than Cloudie here.)

“JESUS CHRIST SKAMPER.” Wait, Jewho? “DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN.”

“Sorry Cloudie, you’re just too gullible.” He snickered, and he turned to me. Ugh, great. “Anyways, hello Dash.”

I really didn’t want to talk to this creep. It would be bad for my reputation. “What do you want Skamper.”

“You already know my name? Cloudie! Why didn’t you let me introduce myself properly?!”

Cloudswitcher looked skeptical, and raised an eyebrow. “Dude, since when do you care?”

“Since when do I care? Since were talking about the most awesome pony in all of Equestria!” In other cases, I would’ve felt flattered, but coming from this freak it was just weird.

He groaned. “Whatever.” Cloudswitcher immediately looked over to where Twilight was, and seemed really happy when he saw her alone. It was obvious he was hiding something. “Well guys, I’ll see you later. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dashie.”

“Sure, Clouds. See ya around!” For the first time, I didn’t mind someone calling me Dashie even though I only met them. This guy was cool, and he was most certainly not-

“Hey Rainbow Dash.”

…Most certainly not this guy here.

“What do you want, creep.”

“We should go on a date.”

…What? Was this guy out of his mind? There was no bucking way in Equestria I was going to go on a date with him! “No.”

“Why not?” Was he really this stupid and oblivious?

“Because you’re a creep, and you made me mad when you woke me up. So no, I’m not going on a date with you. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Got it?” I didn’t even wait for an answer and walked up to talk to Pinkie Pie, who had finally calmed down.

After about 2 hours, the party finally ended, and I have to say, it was really fun! Now I mean it, Pinkie REALLY outdid herself on this one. But the best part was that I could finally go home and get some sleep.

The air was a little chilly today, but that didn’t matter. I always loved flying on a cold night, and today was no exception. It just feels so good; I don’t think words can rightly describe it. But the best part was that I was finally going to get that creep out of my tai-

“Hey Rainbow Dash!”

Seriously!? Him again!? Why does this keep happening to me!? I won’t lie, this time he startled me a bit. I looked down, but he wasn’t there. Where was he, then?

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!”

That didn’t come from below. It came from above. I looked up, and he was right there, standing on a cloud waving at me with that stupid smile. I flew up to his level. He was making me mad, but I wasn’t going to lose my cool. “What do you want creep. And most importantly, how in the world did you get up here?”

“Screw physics! We’re on Equestria! If Pinkie can do it, so can I!” What was he talking about? “But, look, that isn’t the point. I wanted to say that I’m sorry about what I told you this morning. I know it was wrong, and I’m just sorry.”

“Uh… It’s okay? I still have to find that thing anyways, and then I’ll kick his flank. Look, really, it’s okay. Just, don’t do it again, okay? And stop being such a creep while you’re at it.”

“Yeah, sure! And, I wanted to ask you something else.”

I knew what he wanted. I folded my arms and said, “No, I’m not going on a date with you.”

“Look, Rainbow Dash, I’m sorry, okay? I just want this one last chance, and if it doesn’t work, I won’t bother you again, deal?”

I wasn’t going to fall for his tricks. My answer was no, and it was going to remain like tha-

“Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeee?” He looked at me with his big eyes, practically staring into my soul. He was trying to pull a cute face, but he was just so creepy.

Ugh, I’m going to regret this later. “Fine. But one chance, and one chance only, we’re clear?”

His face lit up “REALLY!?” He started jumping happily on the cloud. “YEAH, SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YES SHE SA-“ The funny part came when he missed a step and jumped off the cloud accidentally. I could hear his scream turning fainter and fainter, until I heard a low “boom” on the floor. That stupid creeper just outdid himself. “Don’t worry, I’m okay! I’ll go pick you up tomorrow!” His voice was low, and he was clearly on pain.

“Yeah, whatever. Night, Skamps.” Finally, with that creeper out of the way, I finally left to my house.

The only problem is that I actually accepted to go on a date with this guy tomorrow. I really don’t want tomorrow to come. The last thing I want to do is spend some time with that creep. Well, whatever.

Tomorrow was going to be a very weird day.

The Date And Stuff...

A/N: This part of the story is COMPLETELY written by Peter, with minor corrections by myself. Sorry if I missed anything. So, yeah. Have fun reading and stuff.

Chapter 7: The Date And Stuff... (Peter)

After I got out of my body shaped crater with no injuries what so bucking ever I headed back to town to see if I could cause any other type of problems before sleeping on some bench or something. I walked along the streets for a while, nopony to be spotted anywhere. The only light still glimmering in the night was the lamp posts in the street, a guard was standing at the entrance of a store which just gave me a very bad idea. I was on top of the building in no time, the guard was still standing still at the door. The reminder of what I wanted to do came when I imagined  a little button on the corner of the screen that said ‘assassinate’. I jumped at the guard from the top of the building resulting on a loud “thud” as he fell to the floor unconscious.

“No what I wanted, but oh well, works for me” I trotted into the building which was oddly small and at the center was a small chest. “…Seems legit.” I walked over to it cracked it open and found a sheet of paper in it, I stretched it out and read.

Dear Skamper Gunallen;

May your subconscious mind remind you to wake the buck up.

.

I woke up to see the sun rise in the distance, “My dreams are 120% awesome” as I got off the bench and headed over to the bank to make a completely legal withdraw.

“Get back here, criminal scum!” said one of the guards that was at the bank. You wonder why he was following me? I don’t remember anymore. I galloped away as fast as I could and hid inside a trash can, he galloped by and I got out, “mission success 100% synchronization”.

I was all ready when I arrived at Rainbow Dash’s house and knocked on the door. Nopony answered. For a second I thought about taking the door down, I’m not the patient kind of pony but I heard a loud crash and someone coming down the stairs .

“Coming!” she opened the door and saw me “oh it’s you, what do you want?”

“Well the date you promised me yesterday”

“Look uh, Skamper, right? I know you’re trying real hard for me to like you but it’s not working, so I would appreciate it if you would stop trying.”

“So is that “I’ll be right back let me get ready” or a “I’m ready lets go”?”

“You didn't pay attention to a single word I just told you right?”

“Nope.”

“Oh Celestia, you are a horrible pony. I'll be right back.”

She closed the door, when she came back out she was exactly the same. Mare logic, who can understand it?

(Rainbow Dash)

I was very serious about what I told him earlier, but he really didn't seem to give a buck. I mean, I really appreciate what he is trying to do, but he is just not my kind of guy. He just isn’t some pony I would like to be with in any type of problem or/and relationship.

I have no idea how he was able to walk on clouds without being a Pegasus and I could understand less how he jumped all the way from my house to the ground and didn't break any bones . Who is he exactly?

We were walking our way in Ponyville. I was doing my best to not let anypony see me with him, I didn't want anypony to get the wrong idea or anything. I wasn’t sure where we were going, I was just following him. We arrived at a very fancy restaurant where the Wonder Bolts regularly ate.

We walked in and inside were two of the Wonder Bolts. Soarin and Spitfire were sitting on a table for four, they must be waiting for someone. And guess who they were waiting for? Skamper waved at them and they told the receptionist to let us in. I can’t believe it! He actually got us seats with the Wonder Bolts! –fangirl squeal-

It had been a very pleasant meal. Talking with Soarin’ and Spitfire was the best. Somehow they knew Skamper I am not sure how but they did and him and Soarin were friends. Skamper had payed for all the food. When did he get so much money? Not only that but while with Soarin he actually acted mature! He didn't do anything random.He was acting like a gentleman all of a sudden. The day was so fun, before we knew it he was already dropping me off at my house. Somehow he had managed to get a ladder that got all the way up to my house.

“Well, thanks Skamper I actually had a good time." (Rainbow was thrown out of her personality with the exceptionally in there. She just isn't the pony to use a word like that.)

“Happy to see you happy, now if you will excuse me, MY PEOPLE NEED ME I MUST GO NOW.“He jumped off the cloud and opened a parachute. I don't even know where he got it, by Celestia's name he is random.

(Skamper)

“Ya hoooooooooooooo!“ I was having a blast using a  parachute for the first time in my life. It was quite easy with the help of my magic, I was also taking the time to admire the surroundings. "This place sure is beautiful isn't it?  'gasp...' I think I left the toaster on, hmmm that could be a problem.

Nah my mom will probably save the house like always. Did I miss my home and family back on earth? Nah. You know, I learned to appreciate what you have when you have it. You never know when it could all be gone.

As I landed, I unbuckled my parachute and went to find a job in town. It was still an hour past noon. It was a good time, still enough time to find something to repay what I borrowed from the bank (Haha! Caught you there didn’t I! You really thought me, Skamper, would steal money? Its ok, you had your reasons to believe so. How I met the Wonder Bolts? Oh long story tell you later).

I found a little electronic store with a ‘help wanted’ sign outside. I walked in and the owner greeted me. The store was small, yes, but I mean, when you have ponies that know nothing about electronics I really doubt you could be making any profit by making it big. Anyway, the owner told me he would pay me five bits a day if I helped costumers around to buy and find what they needed. Seems like a good job to me.

I sat the behind the counter, it was starting to get dark when a yellow maned pegasus walked in. She got close and asked “Do you have a muffin machine?”

“You didn’t read the sign at the entrance did you?”

She looked at me curiously like if I was speaking in another language “Yes it said electronics doesn’t it?”

“Yea exactly, what made you think we would sell an oven or whatever you ponies use for cooking”

“Well actually“ she placed a broken-burned-rusty-all-kinds-of-damaged small oven on the table “I wanted to make more muffins at the same time than I regularly do and the oven busted into flames. I threw it out the window and threw a bucket of water at it.”

I started looking it over “Hmmm well in the first place this oven is too weak in fire power to even heat a potato so you can't make muffins in it at all, if we change that for a stronger pilot light.“ I moved some stuff in the small oven and took them out “It also has to be bigger to be able to bake muffins “ I took out a steel box and set it on the table. ”A stronger electric plug, and now let's just try to put all of these things together!“ I was pouring a vote of confidence on my powers by doing this but I mean it’s now or never. I concentrated in what I wanted to make and all the parts started to get a faint glow and started to smash together, I could feel it getting hotter and hotter and before I knew it there was a new looking oven on the counter.

“Wow thank you sir, how much will it be?”

I blinked a little at the sight of my awesome handy work hoof work but I snapped out of it. I thought through the parts I used and calculated ”30 bits, ma’am”

“Um, really? This si brand new one of these costs almost a solid 100 bits”

“You just met Skamper incorporated working here since today!" She paid and left.

Wow unicorn magic really is amazing. I got my pay for the day and then I headed back home.

Note: you never asked what was the mission to get 100% sinc :pretend to be followed by a guard when he is actually following a real criminal, foolssssss! -insert evil face here-

Meeting the Generous

A/N: Nobody reads this, right? Oh well. We just wanted to say that we're sorry for the delay, and we wanted to ask any artist out there if they could maybe draw a cover for the story? It's been lacking for so long that it frustrates me a bit. Obviously, the effort won't go unnoticed. We could let you pre-read further chapters, or maybe add your OC in the story at some point. Or something, I don't know. Well, without further rambling, here you go.

Chapter 8: Meeting the Generous (Peter)

I wasn't going to wake up even though a guard was poking me.

“Sir, you're sleeping in the middle of the street.”

“You don't say...”

“Why are you sleeping here? Don't you have a house?”

“I do, me being too lazy to go over there is the problem here.”

“You need to get up and go somewhere else to take your nap.”

“No! For that you'll have to talk to my lawyer!” I pulled Matt out of nowhere. He had a fork in his hand and his mouth full of waffles. He had his eyes closed so he had no idea he had just magically teleported from one place to another.

“Cloudie, explain to this good sir why I can sleep in the street.”

His eyes shot open, and he seemed to realize where he was sitting right now. “Wait, what the hay?”

He was obviously confused and was apparently eating breakfast. The guard just stared at him suspiciously and back at me in awe.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” they both looked at me with a 'are you bucking kidding me' face. “Well excuuuuuuuuse me! I'm sorry for breaking the fourth wall without your supervision.”

Suddenly, Twilight arrived “Cloudswitcher! I have been looking for you, you suddenly disappeared!”

“My bad “ I said raising a hoof.

“Twilight, do you know this stallion?”

“Yes, why? Did he do something wrong?”

“Well, no, but he was sleeping on the street and unless he moves I'm afraid I'll have to give him a ticket.”

“Oh I'm sorry for parking my flank in the wrong place officer!”

“Skamper, you’re not helping.”

“Okay.” I stayed silent for the rest of the conversation. Once they were done, Matt and I headed back to the library with Twilight.

(Matthew)

So apparently, Peter wanted me to say my part of the story since he's had two chapters already.

Whatever the hay that means. Him and his new 4th wall breaking powers are not making this any easier for me to understand. Almost seems like he thinks we’re on an actual story.

So anyways, after a not-so-long talk between Twilight and the guard who, by the way, got epically pwnt by her awesome knowledge, Twilight led us back to the library. I was still confused as to how in the bucking world Peter was able to break the 4th wall and teleport me to the middle of the street. Yeah, sure, I didn’t look as surprised when I first found out I was in Ponyville, but knowing your best friend MIGHT be able to pull that one off whenever he wants to, thus teleporting you wherever he wants you to go is a little worrying. When we arrived, Twilight proceeded to question Peter.

“So, Peter,” she started “may I please know just where were you’ve been for a whole day, why were you sleeping on the street, and most importantly, how did you manage to seemingly stretch your arm out of thin air and pull Matt down to the park which is 500 meters away?”

“In Aperture Science, we do what we must because we can!” He said, flashing his smile to her, then turning it into a glare. “You’re not in Aperture Science are you?”

“I don’t even know wha-“

“I didn’t think so!” he said, walking past her with his head held up high in a rather cocky way.

“But wha- ugh, just forget it.” She exclaimed, facepalming. Still trying to contain all my d’aws, I started noticing a faint glow on both Peter’s and my chest, which proceeded to expand through our bodies, kind of when we transform using the Mindmorph spell. The weird part is that we didn’t even think about using it, or at least I didn’t for my part. Before we knew it, we were both humans once again.

“Wait, what the hay just happened?” By the time I asked, Twilight already had an open book in her possession, possibly a magic one.

“Well, here it says that although the Mindmorph spell is extremely efficient, it can also wear out. The bearer of the spell must return to his original form when the spell reaches its limit. The spell, however, stays with the bearer of it, and has to rest in order to be used again. You can re-transform whenever you want, but the duration of the spell depends greatly on how much you let it rest. The more you save, the more you gain.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense?” I said “So we will have to wait for awhile until we can transform into ponies again, the longer we're human the longer we get to stay as ponies?”

She nodded “Correct. So I think you’ll understand when I ask you to go upstairs and hide before somepony comes to get or leave a bo-”

Before she could even finish her sentence, the door swung open, and a white unicorn with a purple, curly mane walked in. Most of you know her by the name of Rarity. She was walking calmly, with a book floating right beside her head and she had her head up high and her eyes closed for some reason I have yet to understand.

“Hello, dear Twilight,” she started “I just finished the novel you gave me and I must admit it’s simply delightful. Although I do find the idea of an alien being going to another world and finding love there a little odd and highly improbable, don’t you think?” said Rarity, leaving the book on a table and proceeding to check the bookshelves' content. Twilight, needless to say, was relived because she hadn't seen us yet, and shocked because we were still there.

“Rarity, don’t you know how to knock!?” Twilight exclaimed.

Still checking the bookshelves, Rarity replied “Why would I do such a thing, darling? This is a public library, after all.” Twilight obviously tried to reply to that statement, but finding no reasonable excuses, she let out a groan. Peter tried to do a troll face impersonation, failing epically.

Rarity then started turning around “Oh, by the way, I was wondering if-” Before she could finish, she fixed her gaze on me, and I could see her look of horror.

I didn’t want her to be scared of me, so I tried to talk to her. “Hey, don’t worry! I won’t hurt you! I’m friendly!”

She seemed taken aback because of a weird alien that was talking her language in front of her, before she gave me a confused look. “What? Dear, you don’t seem the kind of... whatever you are, to hurt somepony. But THIS” she proceeded to extend a hoof, probably pointing at me, and then at Peter “THIS IS AN INSULT AGAINST EVERYTHING FABULOUS!”

Needless to say, I was skeptical. “WHAT? Woman, there are basically ALIENS of some sort in the room, and all you care about is FASHION!?”

“Why, of course! Just look at your mane! Your raggy clothes! And look at your friend! If that was to be made in here it would look like a pajama!" That's funny, it's exactly what Peter's wearing. "I don’t know if... that thing you’re wearing is considered fabulous in your homeplace, but here is a simply dreadful atrocity! And it must be fixed right away!” She exclaimed, raising a hoof in the air for dramatization, I suppose. Without any further discussion, she picked us up in an aura of blue magic, and levitated us out of the library.

“Rarity, wait!” exclaimed Twilight. “They can’t be seen like that, or else something terrible might-” and with that, Rarity shut the door closed, and then proceeded to take me and Peter to her boutique.

“Don’t worry darlings, when I’m done with you two, you will look simply fabulous~”

This is going to be a long day.

The Misadventures of M&P (Part 1)

A/N: Quick copy paste by Peter.

Peter: yesterday me and matt (that being me, Alvin) were going around fim fiction looking for inspiration and saw how many comments all the fics had, personally I don't care but alvin says it would inspire him more to see that people comment  on the story so if you want faster chapter comment letting him know you all want more of matt and peter.

peter is happy to see the reputation of the fic is still at 4.5

before I leave  here all who read this get an active c4 pack with shipping included

note:thats a joke

p.s.o.n:the c4 is high priced

p.s.s.o.n:we are still looking for an artist for the cover of the story contact us and you will get you o.c in the story and a preview of chapter before they are even out.

yay muffin

Chapter 9: The Misadventures of M&P (Matthew)

“Rarity! Wait! We can’t be seen or terrible things might happen!” I screamed before we reached the populated part of the town. It was still pretty early, so ponies were still to go out and rambling about, but as in any place in the universe, there were some early risers, and we had to make sure we weren’t seen while our Mindmorph spell recharged itself. “Rarity, we just need some minutes before-”

“Ta ta ta,” replied Rarity, “fashion does not wait for anypony, sir...” I remembered we didn’t even have time to introduce ourselves before she dragged us out of the library by force.

Since she had already seen our real forms and wasn’t scared or anything, I assumed it was only proper that I introduced myself and Peter with our real names. “Uh, my name is Matthew McDonnell, Matt for short. And this,” I said as I pointed my finger to Peter, whom was in the process of picking his nose, “is my friend Peter Knight.”

“It’s a... pleasure,” said Rarity with uncertainty as she spotted Peter. “Anyways, you simply cannot expect me to go out wearing those raggy clothes, can you?”

“But you don’t understand! We don’t even go out looking like-”

“No buts!” she cut me off “I won’t take no for an answer!” She continued walking down the streets.

Well, this was going too far. At this point, I had to recur to desperate methods. “HELP!” I started struggling and trying to get out of the magical aura, with no avail “Peter, we gotta do something!”

When I got no answer, I turned to him. He had his left hand on his chin, and the right one resting below the left elbow. He was in a sitting position, and he appeared to be looking over the horizon. “Uh, Peter, can you please explain to me what the buck are you doing?”

He looked at me with a rather dramatic look, and said “Dude, you told me to do something, and I’m pretending to be a statue. Can you please shut up and play along.”

“Peter, stop being such an idi-” I think I’m too used to the fact that Peter’s ideas suck most of the time to actually realize that that might not be such a bad idea at all. “Peter, we’ve been in worse situations than this. Why did you decide to have a good idea just now?”

“Because Aperture Science,” he said in a matter of fact way “NOW POSE. SOMEONE IS COMING.” Peter then pointed at something that was behind me. I turned around and there was, indeed, somepony walking (more like flying) towards us, but he or she was too far away for me to actually notice who it was. But that didn’t matter. I tried to do an elegant or majestic pose, so I attempted to pose just like “The Thinker”.

When the pony was close enough for us to find out who it was, we knew we were in big trouble.

“Peter, is that who I think it is?”

“Yep.”

“Well, we’re doomed.”

Rainbow Dash was flying towards us, or well, towards her friend Rarity. If my memory serves me well, Peter and Rainbow Dash’s first encounter was not the most pleasant, if ya know wut ah meen.

“Sup Rarity!” Rainbow Dash greeted “What’s... uh... what are those?”

“Oh, these are my new friends!” Rarity exclaimed. I was really hoping that Rainbow Dash would buy our ‘I’m a statue’ act and just go to practice or something. “I was just on my way to Carousel Boutique to create new ensembles for them so they don’t have to wear... that.”

Rainbow Dash seemed skeptical. I mean, why would anybody want to dress up some weird looking statues? With one last odd look at Rarity, she said “Well, I will just leave you alone with your weird...” She stopped at mid-sentence and looked at us once again, first at me, then at Peter. When she was about to talk to Rarity once again, something seemed to click in her mind, and she returned her gaze at Peter. “Wait a second...”

And that’s when you know that s*yay*t just got real.

Rainbow Dash started going in circles around Peter, taking a look at his ever aspect, before coming to a halt right in front of him. She looked at him straight in the eye, and I could notice from the corner of my eye that Peter was sweating profusely, but still maintaining his pose. Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof to him “It’s you again! You’re not a statue!”

Rarity seemed skeptical as to what she meant with “statue” and why Rainbow Dash was mad at Peter. She looked at me, demanding an explanation with her gaze. The only thing I did was wink at her, telling her to play along with my look, and she seemed to understand what we were doing and why, and probably realized why bringing two completely exposed aliens into town wasn’t such a great idea. Giving me an apologetic look, and started walking up to Rainbow Dash, probably trying to make it up to us by convincing her to leave. Or something.

“Whatever do you mean, Rainbow Dash? This is just a new statue for my collection at the boutique.”

Rainbow Dash turned to see her friend, and said “Don’t lie to me, Rarity! This ‘statue’ looks just like the thing that hit me in the face a  few days ago and left me unconscious!” Rainbow got closer to Peter, who was still sweating a bit, although it wasn’t too noticeable, and raised a hoof. “And I’m going to prove it!” She then proceeded to slap Peter right on the cheek with great force.

SLAM

Peter, surprisingly enough, managed to maintain his pose without flinching or moving an inch, although it was pretty obvious to me that he was in pain. Rainbow Dash looked surprised. She expected Peter to atleast move a bit, but nothing happened. But she didn’t give up, and she kept going on.

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

After a good dose of powerful punching to the face, Rainbow Dash seemed to be a little tired, and Peter still didn’t move. Not even an inch. Although he was visibly in pain through my eyes, Rainbow Dash seemed to not notice his watery eyes. She almost gave up after hitting him so many times.

Almost.

A small grin started forming on her face, followed by a small chuckle. She looked at Peter with an evil smile now wide visible on her face. And she slowly started raising a hoof. “No one in the whole wide Equestria would be able to handle this.” When she had her hoof all the way up, she stared at her objective, which was-

Oh no.

“Oh yes...”

Exactly when she finished her sentence, she swung her hoof with all her force, hitting Peter right in the crotch.

POW

The hit was so powerful that it even made Rarity flinch. I bet Peter was in extreme pain by now. Rainbow Dash slowly separated her hoof from the impact point, and looked up. Peter still didn’t move. “What the hay!?” If she hadn’t been so distracted, she would’ve noticed a tear rolling out of Peter’s eye. “You know what!? Fine! They are statues, alright!? I’ll just go before I decide to throw this stupid thing off a cliff. See ya later Rarity!” And with that, Rainbow Dash spread her wings and took to the sky.

Once she was out of sight, Peter threw himself down to the ground, or he would’ve if he wasn’t being levitated by Rarity. “Oh my god! The pain! I think I lost a testicle! OH MY BUCKING GOD THIS HURTS MORE THAN LISTENING TO JUSTIN BIEBER!”

Rarity immediately let go of us, which resulted on him falling on his back on the floor. But he was in too much pain to even notice. “Oh my stars, darling! I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to put you through this torture! I was just so concentrated on making you look fabulous that I didn’t even think of the consequences! Can you please forgive me?”

“Don’t worry, Rarity,” I said “He forgives you, but he’s in too much pain to actually tell you.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” sighed Rarity, “Well, I guess you better go back, seeing how I got you in so much trouble, or atleast, I got Peter in trouble.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’re already here, are we not? We might as well go to your boutique now.”

“Hm.  I guess you’re right...” She then levitated me and Peter (Who was still rolling on the floor) once again. “Well then, let’s get going.”

A/N: Sorry if this is not as good as previous chapters, or atleast I don't think it is. Also, sorry for the delays, everypony, but trust me, I am really REALLY trying to get to writing this story.

Also, I couldn't think of a better ending.

Also, I feel like I had alot of grammar mistakes and whatnot. Feel free to point them out so I can fix them.

The Misadventures of M&P (Part 2)

Chapter 10: The Misadventures of M&P (Matthew)

We kept walking towards Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, me and Rarity were having a small talk about fashion in our world while Peter was on the floor still agonizing. I explained how some people used XXL shirts while they are an M size and use shorts with chains and stuff like that. Rarity only responded with things like “how dreadful!” and “oh, the horror!”. Peter’s still massaging his crotch because of the pain.

After a short while, Peter finally calmed down, but apparently the pain was still there. I saw Carousel Boutique at about 200m away from us, and needless to say, I was relieved that the trip went on without any incidents.

“It still hurts, man!”

Well, almost without any incidents.

“Don’t worry Peter, at least anything else can go wrong.”

Just when I finished my sentence, someone called out “Hey Rarity!” I face palmed and made a mental note to remind myself to never say that again.

“Peter, get into the same position you were before! Someone’s coming!”

Peter started getting up, although somewhat slowly because of the pain he was still experiencing. “You don’t say...” We quickly got into the same position that we were before and waited. Rarity looked over the direction the voice came from, and waved with a smile on her face. Due to my position, I couldn't see who it was, since I was looking the other way and now it was too late to change my position. I could listen the footsteps (or, well, hoofsteps) coming closer, until they made a complete stop just in front of Rarity.

“Hey Rarity!” said the mysterious voice, “I just wanted to know how was that outfit doing. Is it done yet?” the pony, who I supposed was a girl, sounded a bit inpatient.

“Hello, dear. And no, not yet. You cannot simply expect me to repair something I know nothing of so easily, can you?”

“Yeah, but I really want to know more about that outfit and of the creatures that used to wear it!”

“I know, and I must say it is exciting to repair something so old, but these things take some time.”

“Okay then...” She sounded a bit dissapointed. “By the way, what is it that you’re carrying there?” I could listen to her walking around me. She halted just in front of Peter, who was beside me, and from the corner of my eye I could see a turquoise unicorn, with something that appeared to be a lyre as her cutie mark. I immediately recognized her to be Lyra.

Oh no, I thought, of all the ponies we could’ve encountered while in our human self, we had to find the crazy human lover!? I was getting paranoid, but I quickly shook those thoughts out of my head. No, no, no. That’s just the personality the fandom has given her. Just because the fandom says she has an obssession with humans doesn’t mean it’s true. For all I know she could be a perfectly normal pony from Ponyville.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed, “Are those humans!?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

She was jumping around me and Peter excitedly, examining our every detail and squealing like a fangirl every 3 seconds. “Oh my gosh! I knew they were real! It wasn’t just a legend!”

“Whatever are you talking about?” said Rarity, still trying to cover us up, “These are just mere interpretations of what a sculptor thought these creatures would look like. I just bought these statues, and I plan to take them to my house.”

Lyra, who seemed to ignore every single word Rarity said until now, perked up. “Rarity, what are you talking about? These are totally real! Every detail is almost exactly as how my books say they are!”

“Well, Lyra, maybe the sculptor just read the same books as you and made these masterpieces?”

“No, no. They just seem too real to be statues!” She threw her hooves on the air to emphasize her point. “I mean, look! The hair!” She proceeded to ruffle my hair a bit, which is a shame since I really liked how it came out in the morning. “The ears!” She started wiggling Peter’s earlobes. “The lips!” She pulled my lips a little too much, to a point that it really REALLY hurt. Then, her hoof started going down, and I thought she was going there “And he even got the...”

Oh no, here it comes.

“...hair on the legs right!” She started pulling the hair of my legs from a hole in my jeans. After that, she stopped pulling my hair and retired her hoof off the hole and started going up. “And woah! He even got the...”

I’m pretty sure she’s going there now...

“...belly button correctly!” She lifted my shirt a bit and started playing with my belly button a bit, which I have to admit, was a little funny and somewhat cute.

After a short while, she stopped, and walked towards Rarity. “They feel so real too! They’re not made of stone, it’s almost as if they were actually made with real skin, but that might just be really good stuffing.”

Rarity left out a nervous chuckle. “Why, yes, my dear. Whoever made these must be a real genius.”

Lyra was excited still, but she seemed a little disappointed. “Well, then I guess they are really statues of some sort, if you’re telling me they are.” She let out a sigh. “Well then, I will have to continue my search somewhere else, won’t I? Maybe the outfit I found will fit one of these.”

“But that outfit you gave me looked like it would only fit a woman,” responded Rarity.

“I guess the rebirth or the comeback of a human here in Equestria will never be possible..” Rebirth or comeback? I will have to ask about that later... “Well then, I’ll be leaving now...” and she left alone, in her world of sorrow without humans. Once Lyra was out of sight, Peter asked Rarity if we could walk for a while, since he couldn’t feel his feet anymore.

“I can’t feel my feet anymore...” uttered Peter.

“Oh, sorry darling. I’ll let you down now,” responded Rarity, and true to her word, she let us down. “I hope you don’t mind walking to my boutique, since it’s not too far away from here.”

“You know what?” Peter let himself fall to the ground, and yawned. “I’m just going to lay here for a while...”

“Dude, it’s not even half past noon...”

“I know, but I need a nap after eating.”

“But you havn’t eaten anything!”

“Well buck you too. FINE! Let’s go.”

After a short walk, we arrived at Rarity’s house. She unlocked the door and let us in.

A/N: Sorry about the relatively short chapter, fellas! I'll probably add the next one later today or sometime around tomorrow. Hopefully.

Deathstreak

A/N: This chapter is an example of why we can't have nice things. Once again, completely written by Peter with minor edits by me. Enjoy.

Chapter 11: Deathstreak (Peter)

As we entered into Rarity's house, I knew we were in for a long stay with her trying to dress us up correctly, so I walked away silently and hid behind a pile of clothes. I whispered “Rule number 1 of Peter: don't let him in your house if he is not chained or in a box because he will literally bring the house down.” Ba dum tsssss

I walked silently to the kitchen. “Time for some omelets!” My mind quickly questioned me. Do you even know how to use an stove? I answered with a smile on my face “Nope!” You’re planning to destroy the house with fire, aren't you?  “Eeyup! But first things is first, I will get some ice for my private parts, they’re still sore from the kick.”

I went to the freezer and dumped the hole box of ice there was in my pants. “Ahh, fresh.”  I also took some eggs from the fridge and got a pan and placed it on the stove, the buttons to turn it on were the size of a hoof but with my fingers I didn't need the giant button, so instead I started the stove. “That was easy,” and waited for the pan to be warm. I broke the eggs and placed them on the pan and dumped a bag of marshmallows on the eggs ”That's how you make an omelet, right?” But something was wrong, something smells wrong. It was coming from behind the stove so I turned it off and moved the stove to see “Holy buck! The gas pipe was broken. I heard that if you inhale that stuff long enough, you dieaaahhh.” My vision started to blacken and I started to fall finally fainting.

Hmm, my mind is really hard to understand, isn’t it? I looked around the infinite black void that I guessed was my mind. I stood still in the middle of it all and just waited there not expecting anything to happen but suddenly a weird figure in a black clothes appeared in front off me.

“Peter! Your time has come!”

“Death, can’t I go on living 1 second without you bothering me?”

“What? Are you kidding me!? You have been avoiding me since the c4 incident!”

“Oh, yeah! That was funny wasn't it?”

“No it wasn't! You almost died.”

“Correction! I did die and I won against you in cod, AND I got my life back”

“Har har... But guess what? if someone doesn't pull you out off the gas leak you will die again.”

“So what? I’ll just have to win against you again!”

“But it won’t be so easy this time, young Peter. This time it will be different.“

“How so, Mr.Death?“ Suddenly, all around me turned into a flat land filled with random piles of rubble and destroyed buildings. I was holding nothing more than the most simple of guns (and awesome, by the way), a revolver.

“You don't want to go down this way with me, Death. I know much more about gun games than you. You can’t win!” The floor started to rumble, and in the distance crushing a little house came a black tank.

“Well, this time I've got the advantage, little one!”

“Oh, it is on!” as soon as I was done speaking, the tank shot my way. I dashed to the nearest ruble gathering and ducked, the blast took with it 3 or 4 other houses. I ran toward the largest building there was in the area. It appeared as if the world was being generated while I was moving. Another blast exploded right by me, making me fly across the small map. I took a deep breath and looked around “Damn that bone head! He didn't give me anything to win this time, not like the time I stole his predator missile and blasted him to pieces. Oh, that game of capture the flag was great.” The tank was already closing on me again, but he had not seen me. I crawled all the way to a house and went in this house, which was fairly complete. All the furniture was still in place and all. I went around looking for something, anything that could help me against the tank. All that I found were average grenades, which in case nobody knows, aren't made to go against tanks, but people. Plastic explosives or c4 or sticky bombs are tank prof .

Thinking …

Maybe if I find some glue in this house? Hm... No, that wouldn't work, would it?

thinking...

if I found a weapon here, I might find bigger guns in bigger houses or hotels/office buildings! But first, to distract death. I opened one of the windows and threw the grenades as far as I could. They exploded, and at first the tank stood still, but it turned and headed toward the explosion. I went foward and... HOLY BUCK A JUGGERNAUT CAME OUT WITH A MINIGUN. “You damned CHEATER!” He started to fire, and a bullet hit my leg. I stumbled to the floor.

“You are done, Peter” I pulled myself up and grabbed onto his head so he couldn't shake me off. I took his helmet off and put a bullet trough his head. The Juggernaut disappeared into a black cloud and vanished. “Ugh, don't sing victory yet, Peter. The tank is still alive.” Suddenly, crashing trough the house, came the tank. It was going to run me over, but I moved in the middle of it and I was safe once again.

“I'm not done yet, Death” I got out from under the tank and ran as fast as I could with one injured foot towards the tallest building in the area. The tank was close behind but didn't reach me, blasting at me every time I tried to get out of its sight. I ran in and closed the door.

Like if that will help.

I rushed up the stairs, shattering every single “break in case of fire” cases that came in my way, but none of them had anything useful. The one in the 30th floor, thank Celestia, was a parachute. “Perfect!” I went all the way to the 35th floor and got on the roof. Behind me came in 4 Juggernauts with mini guns and flame throwers.

“You cannot escape, Peter,” screamed Death “You die here and now.”

“Hey Death...”

“What do you want?”

“Remember where we are?”

“At the top of a damn building! Where else!?”

“Yeah! And where is the building?”

“It’s at-” he stopped midsentence, and something clicked on his mind. “Oh sour apples! Shoot him! Now!”

The Juggernauts started to fire at me. I jumped off the building and opened my parachute and started falling slowly, but I knew from the beginning where I was, I was just trolling him, remember? Unlike the last time,  we were battling in his void or realm. This is in my mind. And what does that mean? Well, it’s simple. I'm not holding a revolver, I'm ‘holding a thunder gun and I'm not using a parachute, I’m using a jet pack.

My imagination is awesome! I started to go towards the ceiling again “Yo dog! If it wasn't because we are in my mind you would have won but as always, you failed!”

“Objection! You haven't got anything to fight my tanks!“ Suddenly, from all sides, millions of tanks arrived. I fired at the Juggernaut's on the ceiling and they fell from the sides of the building “Fire, you fools! Don't let him get away!”

“Hey Death”

“what!!?”

“Here, before you, go enjoy the pleasures of my nuclear air strike.”

“What? That isn't possible!”

“My imagination, son.”

A black plane passed above it all and destroyed everything. All I heard last from Death was him screaming in anger. I awoke to see everything was still the same way that I had left it before I died.

“Oh, that was a close cal!l Now all is back to normal. Okay now, I just have to light this match for no apparent reason” When I lighted the match, all the gas around me ignited and blasted a hole in the kitchen and I flew into the room, where Rarity and Matt looked at me in awe “What? Just a normal day for me.”

Etiquette (Part 1)

Chapter 12: Etiquette Lessons (Matthew)

“So, Rarity, what exactly are you planning to do for us?” The boutique was fairly spacious. It looks smaller in the actual show, let me tell you. The place was filled with mannequins (uh, ponyquins?) and a vast selection of clothes hanging in wooden wardrobes. There was also a door at the end of the room that, judging by the color of the room as far as I could see, was a kitchen. Just beside it were some stairs that lead to the second floor, and to the extreme left of the room was a platform and a beauty station, presumably both used for modeling porpuses. Surroundings aside. Rarity trotted down to a table, which I could only assume was the counter, and left her saddlebag behind it.

“Well, first I will need to take both of your measurements. But I must say that I obviously have never made any type of clothing that’s actually close to what you wear, so I’ll have to improvise. But first things first,” she turned around to face me and Peter “I will require for you to-” She stopped, noticing something or, well, noticing the lack of presence of someone. “Wait, where’s Peter?”

I took a look to where Peter was just a few moments ago, and indeed, he was no longer there. Which, using my powerful deduction powers, meant something was about to happen. “My, you’re absolutely right! Well then, you might want to take cover behind your desk.”

Rarity looked at me with a mix of worry and confusion. “Huh? Whatever are you talking about?”

“Just trust me,” I replied “you don’t want to be around when Peter does whatever he’s about to do.”

Her look changed to one that was still frightened by the earlier statement, but determined as well. “No, I shan’t do any of that until you explain to me what’s going on.”

“Your call then. One...”

Now she was a bit more scared, but still didn’t want to leave my side, it seems. I think it was more because of fright than pride. “W-what are you doing?”

“Two...”

“What are you counting for?”

“...Three.”

Exactly after my countdown ended, there was a loud explosion coming from the kitchen, followed by Peter crashing through the wall flying towards us. Before getting close to us, he collided with the floor and started sliding towards us instead and stopped just before Rarity, who had a very comical and shocked expression plastered on her face. I couldn’t help it but to be impressed as well by Peter’s way of appearance. After not more than 10 seconds, he looked up and simply stated: “What? Just a normal day for me.” He began to get up and I noticed that his pajama was a bit scratched, ripped, and burned. He looked at me and smiled. “Accurate countdown, by the way.”

Even though I wondered how he managed to make the kitchen explode, I decided not to dwell on it and I just smiled at him, probably to provide comfort to Rarity who had her kitchen utterly destroyed by an idiot. “Eh. What can I say? You get used it. Don’t you remember the C4 incident?”

Peter let out a chuckle. “Ha! That was funny wasn’t it?”

“Dude, I think you’re still alive and kicking because of a freaking miracle.”

“No man, I’ve told you this before! I beat De-”

I cut him off before he could finish. “You beat Death on a Modern Warfare 3 death match, yes, I’ve heard that story, and I still don’t believe it.”

“Well, whatever? I just beat him again anyways. I think I’ll challenge him to Minecraft to see who can find and get a diamond faster next time.”

“I... what?” No, seriously, what?

“What... happened?” Said Rarity, apparently finally snapping out of the initial shock, which, in situations like this one, is usually followed by an extreme burst of anger .“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA HAVE YOU DONE!?”

I tried to calm what was about to become a mess of screaming. “Wait Rarity, chill down. Peter here is sort of a repair man, so he’ll have your kitchen and wall looking like new in no time. Right Pete-” When I turned to face Peter, the wall had already been repaired completely along with the kitchen, and he was sitting on the floor munching happily on a sandwich. “Okay, seriously, how the hay do you do that!?”

He just stared back at me with a seemingly confused look and raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”

“Are you kidding me!? You just repaired a wall in less than a minute! THAT’S what I’m talking about!”

Peter, who still seemed pretty confused, looked back at the wall, then to his sandwich and then to me an a very skeptical Rarity. “Well would you look at that! I DID repair the wall and got a bonus sandwich!”

I was about to go crazy on him and question him further, but decided that pressing on such a matter would only bring me a horrible headache, so after letting go of that ‘little’ issue, I decided to check on Rarity, who was now even more shocked to see her wall completely repaired and without a scratch. “Don’t worry Rarity, you’ll get used to this kind of stuff... Eventually.”

“Uh... Well...” stammered Rarity, not completely out of her shock. All of the anger that she may have gotten a few seconds ago was completely forgotten and replaced by confusion. She quickly shook her hair (but not too much, for that would ruin her mane. Or at least that’s my theory) and regained a semi-sane pose. “Well, never mind that! At least you repaired both of my wall and my kitchen after that little... accident?”

“Incident,” retorted Peter.

“Ugh... I can’t believe now I have to deal with two of you...”

“With two of who?”

“You and Pinkie Pie. You have almost the same... unnatural powers.”

“Oh, you mean this Pinkie Pie?” Very abruptly and seemingly out of nowhere, Peter lowered both of his hands, and when he raised them, Pinkie Pie was being held up by him.

“Hi Rarity!” exclaimed Pinkie with apparent enthusiasm.

“...Yes, the one and only, apparently.” I was absolutely sure Rarity would go through a mental breakdown soon.

Pinkie looked back at Peter (apparently not completely surprised she had been teleported from one place to another) and gasped. “Woah, its that weird alien thing! Can I throw you a party now?”

“Wait, didn’t you already do that?” asked Peter, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh… I guess you’re right Peter! Well then, put me back in my house so I can get back to work.”

“Ok then.“ I saw how again Peter placed Pinkie Pie down next to him but in a blink of an eye Pinkie was gone. Rarity and I stood wide eyed at the recent turn of events, but I keep my cool. I had to if I wanted my sanity to be intact.

“That was certainly…. amusing, to say at the least…” said Rarity, still trying to get over the fact that Peter just teleported Pinkie Pie from and back to her house. She sighed after a while, possibly calmer now, and turned around, although one would think she would be used to this kind of stuff. “Ok gentlecolts, I will need you to take your clothes off.”

“Woahoho!” Peter exclaimed, raising both of his hands, “buy me dinner first!”

Rarity looked back at us, a skeptical look plastered on her face, obviously not knowing why it was wrong for us to do such an uncouth act. “What do you mean dear?”

“Well, Rarity,” I said, stepping in before Peter could say anything that would just confuse or worry Rarity even more “back where we come from it, isn’t quite, let’s say, appropriate to take our clothes off in front of women or, well, in front of anyone for that matter.”

“Why wouldn’t it be-“ she stopped as something seemed to click inside her mind, and started blushing intensely.

“Oh! I am terribly sorry!” she stammered.  “I did not intend it in that manner, I just intend to take your measurements to make your garments.”

“I’m sorry Rarity” I began “but we can’t. It’s just not right for us.”

“Yeah Rarity. Why would you need to take our measurements again?”

To this Rarity looked back at Peter, once again confused. I bet she’s having a long and weird day. I know I am. “Whatever do you mean by ‘again’, dear?”

“I mean, why would you take the measurements again, if you’ve already got them right here?” He pulled out one small sheet of paper recognized as the ones Rarity uses to organize each of the areas of the new garment she creates which was divided in height, hip measurements, etc.

Rarity seemed a little annoyed as she grabbed it and examined it, and then looked up once again. “Where did you get this, Peter?”

“PSX gave it to me, of course!”

Now it was my turn to give him a questioning look. “Peter, who in the world is PSX?” My confusion only grew more and more whenever Peter started blabbering about something.

Peter gasped, and threw his arms up to the air once again, “You don’t know who PSX is!? You monster! That’s almost as bad as a sin!”

I just sighed and was about to facepalm, but decided against it. “Then tell me who he is so I don’t have to sin anymore...”

“He is the god of all of us, of course! PSX stands for “PlayStation Xbox! I cannot believe you havn’t heard about him!”

I was really worried about him now. “...Peter, are you high?”

Peter just sighed at my remark, and looked at me with a cold stare. “Matt, that’s your 3rd strike. You’re banned from my friend list.” he then proceeded to fold his arms and turn around, obviously ignoring me.

“Wh-What?” This was going too far. “Dude, you can’t ban me! We’re not in an Internet group or something! We’re just friends!”

“And that is exactly why you’re banned from my friend list... Harrumph!”

I began to wonder when Peter started worshipping this PSX guy and was about to reply to him in an attempt to get him to forgive me, but knowing him, I decided it was better to just let things go their way, so I just turned to Rarity, who was inspecting the sheet of paper that Peter handed her over. “So, is everything in order there?”

“Hm,” she answered, obviously still eyeing and studying the measurements. “Well, these do seem absurdly accurate, so I guess these measurements, whether they are true or false, will have to do.”

“Is that so? Well then, do you need any help with those suits? I would be more than glad to help, although I’m not all that sure about Peter...” I turned back to Peter, who was still ignoring me.

“Oh no, my dear! I could not possibly ask you to do such a thing for me. I assure you I am completely able to do it on my own.” Retorted Rarity, giving me a generous and sincere smile with no trace of sarcasm on it.

“Oh, okay then, I guess. Then do I wait for you to be done, or...?”

“Oh, most certainly. There is a couch just beside the modelling section, so do make yourself comfortable over there while I get to working. That goes for you too, Peter.” Peter was still ignoring me and Rarity, although why he was ignoring her was a total mystery for me at the moment.

“Well, thanks Rarity. I’ll just go over there and wait for you to be done then.” So I did exactly that. I went over to the couch Rarity had told me to, and sat there. Peter was just at the other side of the room, trying to solve a Rubik’s cube that I will probably never know where he got from, but I decided not to think about it too much, just like all of the other things that Peter does. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I began to get bored, up to the point where I started feeling sleepy. I tried to fight against it, but to no avail, and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

A/N: Sorry if there are some mistakes and whatnot. Hopefully, if there are, they will be corrected by tomorrow or something. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I know it wasn't worth the wait, but the interesting stuff is about to come! I promise! NAY, I PINKIE PIE PROMISE, DAMNIT.

Etiquette (Part 2)

A/N: if there are any errors, it's because our editor has not yet come around to check on this. It might be corrected by tomorrow, and I think I only made minor mistakes. Nevertheless, enjoy.

Chapter 13: Etiquette (Matthew)

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the little dried-up saliva line that was now in my cheek. After wiping it off, I reluctantly began to get up from my very uncomfortable but tolerable position on the couch, I realized I had forgotten to take my contacts off, but they were no longer placed on my eyes, which, using my deduction methods, meant they had fallen off and were now hidden somewhere around the floor or the couch. Honestly, I didn’t like them and I rather use glasses, so it wasn’t such a big deal for me. Now I need to ask Rarity if she, by chance, sells any glasses. After getting my eyes to see at least half decently, I noticed Peter was building some kind of 3D puzzle with the shape of a piñata. I was about to ask him where did he get a 3D puzzle and, more importantly, where did he get a 3D puzzle with the shape of a piñata, but, as always, I decided against it to avoid further confusion and urge of slapping him. It was then when noticed Rarity coming from upstairs, wearing her trademark red glasses and with a measuring tape hanging on her neck. Beside her were floating what appeared to be 2 suits, although i could not see very well without my contacts and with no glasses, so all I could see were two blurry ensembles surrounded by a faint blue aura. As far as I could tell, one of them was a light blue, while the other one was a dark grey.

“Wake up, sleepy head~” she said in a sing-song voice, obviously excited to see our faces when we feasted our eyes on her work. “So, what do you think, dearies?”

Peter was the first one to walk over her, eyeing his new suit with what seemed to be glee, and immediately grabbed it and went to try it on, but not before shouting back at Rarity. “THANK YOU RARITY THIS IS AWESOME!”

As Peter dashed away to a dressing room to change to his new formal attire, I could see a very blurry Rarity that seemed to be looking at me. “Well, Matthew dear, what do you think?”

For a moment I was thinking about lying to her face and telling her how great the new suit looked, but the prospect of lying to someone on their faces when they had worked so hard on something for you made me feel a little sad. I’ll have to be honest, I’m somewhat embarrassed of my bad sight, since in my early days kids picked on me because of it. I hold no grudge though. Kids do that, and you and me would be lying if we said we were perfect kids and never made fun of anyone. Nonetheless, my eyesight was something I considered a flaw.

I obviously knew I was getting worried over nothing, so I decided to tell the truth about what happened. “Well, you see Rarity...” I began “when I woke up, I believe my contact lenses fell and are now probably hidden between the cushions of the sofa or lying on the floor somewhere. Long story short, my vision is really poor right now, and I can’t very well see what you have done for me.”

“Oh my, that does sound like a problem.” Given that I couldn’t see her face very well, it was hard to tell if she was being serious or not, but her voice did show some worry.

“Yeah, well, I was kind of wondering if you knew of any place that sold eyeglasses? Or if you by any chance sell them as well?”

This elicited an excited gasp by Rarity, who in an instant grabbed my hand with her hoof and dragged me to one corner of the boutique, in which she had a wooden wardrobe. “Well, why didn’t you say so earlier!?” She was barely able to contain her glee, probably because it meant she could make me look fabulous. When she opened it, I could tell there was a vast selection of eyeglasses inside of it. To be honest, I didn’t quite expect her to have such an ample selection of clothing that covered eye-wear as well, but coming from the fashionista, i must say I should have seen it coming. “Choose whichever you like,  my dear! Don’t worry, these glasses are special and will magically magnify themselves according to your necessities.”

“How convinient!” I exclaimed. Looking back to the shelf, I realized how many glasses were there. To say there were hundreds would be an understatement. There were all type of glasses in there: big-rimmed glasses, round glasses, no-rim glasses, really small glasses, reading glasses, and even monocles with golden chains attached to them. Given that I couldn’t see from a distance, I had to get pretty close to get a good look at most of them.

One pair really catched my eye. They were fairly simple, rayban style glasses with blue rims. I thought they were really cool, so I extended my arm to grab them and-

“No.”

That caught me off guard. When I looked back at the source of the voice, Rarity, she was staring at me with a disapproval. “What? Why?”

“You cannot expect me to allow you to have those. With your eyes and your mane, they would look simply dreadful.”

“Gee, thanks for that, Rare. I guess I’ll just pick these one-”

“No.”

“Ugh, fine, then I guess these will d-”

“No.”

“Then what about these-”

“Nope.”

“AGH, FINE!” I exclaimed angrily. “YOU CHOOSE THEM, THEN.”

“Well, you could ask nicely for starters, but I guess I can do that for you.” She quickly took over my spot and began inspecting each eye wear, occasionally glancing at me again, presumably imagining how I would look with them. After a minute or two, she looked at me once again. “Hm, it’s a hard decision. Which ones do you like?”

“RARITY!” I exclaimed once more. If I tried to choose any pair once more, she would just reject all of my choices.

“Why, how rude! You could’ve just rejected my proposition,” she said, waving a hoof in front of her to empathize her point. Getting back to her thing, it took her another 30 seconds to finally grab a pair of glasses. “Here, try these.”

I took the glasses that she had chosen on my hand and took a look at them. They were fairly common. Your average black rimmed glasses, although these ones had what seemed to be a chinese craving on the right inner part, and a red symbol of some sorts at the peak of the right outer part. They were nice, to say at the least. Something that I would wear. But there was only one problem.

“Rarity, these are made for ponies, I don’t think they will fit me.”

“Ah,” replied Rarity in a casual way. “give them here, I’ll go fix that.”

I handed over the glasses to Rarity, and she trotted upstairs once more. After 2 minutes, Rarity trotted down with a seemingly smaller pair, presumably made for little colts or fillies. “Is this any better?”

I took the pair of glasses once more and tried them on. Surprisingly, they were almost a perfect fit, a little bit more uncomfortable than the ones I had before stumbling into Equestria. But if my past experience taught me anything is that you will get used to them in about a week or two. After 2 seconds of trying them out, I could see perfectly once more, most definitely because of the magic that Rarity had previously mentioned.

“Wow, these are really good Rarity!” I decided to get right to the point. “How much will these cost?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that right now, Mattie dear,” she replied, giving me a new nickname. “For now, I only want to see your face when you see the suit I made for you!”

In that instant, Rarity’s horn began glowing with a blue aura, and began levitating something at the other side of the room, presumably my new suit. She brought it right in front of me, and upon seeing it my mind could only formulate one simple word:

“Woah...”

Etiquette (Part 3)

Etiquette (Part 3)

Chapter 13: Etiquette (Peter)

I finished putting my suit on and looked at myself in the mirror. My suit was blue with aqua lines adorning it.

“I look good in a suit,” I said as I casually walked out of the dressing room. Although there was no one outside to greet me, I looked around the room to find where matt had gone. I spotted him at the far end of the room holding up a suit that looked quite good, gray with tiny crimson lines adorning it.

He put the suit on and asked Rarity how he looked. I could tell from the movement of her mouth and actions that she said something like smashing, I decided to wait for Rarity to finish appreciating Matt’s suit and leaned against the nearby wall. When Matt turned toward my way, his face turned into a both shocked and scared expression when he saw the window, which was closed by the way, he started pointing at the window and making creeped out faces. So I assumed he wanted the window open.

I gave the window a little nudge and it popped open, I hit something when it opened though and then I heard something hit the floor, I looked out the window and saw Lyra on the floor trying to regain her breath from falling onto her back. She blinked a few times and looked straight at me, which made her mouth turn into a huge grin.

“Humans! I knew it I’m not crazy!” She got up hurriedly and began to run into town.

“Come back here!” I jumped out the window, turning into a pony when I landed, and began to follow her.

She was fast, and I barely caught up to her when she was going into her house, “Hey Lyra, stop!” She came to a complete halt right in front of her door.

“Um… Who are you, and how do you know my name?”

I thought to myself for second, she must have not seen me turning into a pony, hence she doesn’t know I’m a human. To her I’m just a normal unicorn right now.

“Um,” I began, “I heard about your research”

“Really?” What the hay am I getting myself into?

“Yeah! I’ve heard all about your research on humans.”

“Nopony has ever been interested in my research,” she said skeptically. “Why are you?”

“I have important information on humans.” All that was going around in my head was ‘You’re bucked,’ and ‘Matthew will murder you once he finds out’.

“What? Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Come inside and tell me everything you know!” She began to push me into the house

As we went into Lyra’s house (or, well, as Lyra pushed me inside) I heard a voice from the nearby kitchen. “Hello Lyra, are you home yet?”

“Hey BonBon!“ She continued to push me inside her house. She was strong for such a small mare. The mare who Lyra called BonBon looked my way and saw me being pushed around.

She sighed. “I really hope you didn’t tell her you know anything about humans.”

“I did.“ She just sat down, facepalmed (facehoofed?) and continued on her own business. I just kept getting pushed deeper into the house. I was shoved into some room that looked more like a laboratory than a room. It still had the bed but there were drawings of human bodies everywhere and colorful  test tubes and other science equipment.

I sat on a chair and stared at everything around the room. The mare was quite frankly more than obsessed with this whole human thing. She sat right in front of me.

“Now tell me, what do you know about humans?” The question ran around my head for a few seconds, I was wondering if I should tell her anything true or anything at all. She just continued to look at me with an excited look on her face and I just sat there wondering what to say.

“Humans eat meat.” What the buck is wrong with me? I can’t go telling her that if her research hits the news or is even told to a few ponies they might fear us whenever it is that they find out that we are here in Ponyville. “I mean, they are completely vegetarian!” I made a poker face and remained silent .

"So they’re Omnivorous creatures?"

"Uh. Yeah. That." I felt horrible lying to Lyra but it had to be done for the greater good.

The rest of Lyra’s questions weren't very hard to answer, being mostly about how we lived and how we were like them in the way that everyone was equal to each other and friendly. She seemed very confused as to why that was the way humans lived she tried to get me to talk more about friendship in between humans but I avoided the subject as much as I could, she was coming close to the last question, when things got awkward

"How do humans reproduce?"

I pondered over the question trying to come up with a way to explain that wouldn't require me to use obscene words and I tried to make my answer come out with everything being understandable for everypony.

"When mommy human and daddy human love each other very very much they decide-" I was rudely interrupted before I could finish my flawless explanation.

"Sexual intercourse?"

"Um.... Yeah."

She wrote something down in a notebook (most likely my answers).

"Well thanks a lot for all the information, it really helped me in my research."

"You’re welcome, if you need anything else I'm usually around town"

"Thanks Mr...” She pondered for a second. “Actually, I never caught your name."

"I’m Skamper Gunallen, it's a pleasure Lyra."

"I hope we can meet again someday Skamper"

After that I just walked out of the house and headed back to Rarity's house, I could already see the sunset so if I didn't hurry we might have to crash in Rarity's place for the night

I trotted into the house and saw Matt and Rarity having a paste full chat about the weather and Pegasus being able to control it unlike in the our home planet, I already had turned back into a human since.

"Well dear it seems awful for you kind not to be able to predict the weather before hoof."

"Not exactly that. We can predict the weather but it isn't as accurate as being able to control it."

"How dreadful." She turned and saw me. "Oh dear we were wondering when you would come back when you wandered off chasing Lyra."

"Something interesting happened," and then I heard Matt mumble under his breath, "I hope nothing TOO interesting happened."

"Not much, Lyra asked some questions and I answered them."

"Well it's good that she didn't over react and tell the whole world that mythical creatures exist .”

"Yeah I was surprised about her being so calm too. Maybe she still thinks no one would believe her."

"Well, everypony thinks her theories are ridiculous so I don't think they would believe her anyways."

There was an odd silence, where no one had anything else to say

"Well, Matt if you would be so kind as to turn into a pony again, we can go back to Twilight’s house to sleep. Thanks a lot for everything Rarity."

“Wait a second,” she exclaimed. "You can turn into ponies?!" She sounded shocked and scared at the same time.

"Yeah, it's a spell Twilight casted on us so we could go undercover in Ponyville."

"No this is not good now I have to make new ensembles for you to look fabulous, I have to get to work immediately if I want them to be ready in the next few days!"

“Wait, but first,” Matthew said as he trotted down to one of the wardrobes and pulled out a simple, black hoodie. “This has been catching my eye since I came in here. Can I buy it from you?”

“That thing? You can keep it for free. I’ve been wanting to get rid of it for some time now actually.”

“Thanks Rarity, you’re too generous. I’ll have to make it up to you.”

I decided to interject before they began to talk more. "Okay then, we will leave you to your work Rarity." She went into her work shop and locked the door.

Me and Matt turned into ponies once again and headed back to Twilight’s house, the night was young. The majority of the ponies were already asleep, leaving the town clear and almost empty, only but a few ponies were walking around.

We walked silently all the way back to Twilight's home

(Matthew)

‘Well, that’s one disaster averted,’ I thought, relieved that Peter hadn’t done anything crazy for once. ‘Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll continue.’

As we neared Twilight’s house, I thought I spotted Lyra heading for Rarity’s boutique, but didn’t really pay too much attention to it.

“Hey Twilight,” I said, opening the door and holding it open for Peter, only to find that he was already inside.

“Hello Matthew,” Twilight said, “how did it go with Rarity?”

“It went great,” Peter said, speaking up before I could say anything, “she made suits for each of us.”

“Really? Can I see?”

“Sure.” Peter morphed back into a human, showing off his new suit. I morphed as well, but I didn’t strut around like a peacock showing off its feathers.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Peter said. He quickly stepped into the kitchen, and when he returned, he was carrying what looked like a hastily glued together mass of cardboard. He thrust it into my hands, and upon closer inspection I saw that it was made of boxes and toilet paper rolls.

“Peter,” I said, getting a little tired of his shenanigans, “what exactly is this?”

“Pull the trigger and find out!”

‘Trigger?’ I thought. Looking around, I finally spotted a cardboard trigger near the back. When I pulled it, a blue oval flared to life on the floor.

“Is that what I think it is?” To answer my own question, I pulled the trigger again, this time aiming at the ceiling, causing an orange oval to appear with the instantly recognizable Portal appearance. Peter is the only one I can think of who would be crazy enough to create a Portal Gun from cardboard.

“What is that?” Twilight asked, taking a couple steps toward the blue portal.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I said, thrusting the gun back to Peter, only to see it fall to the ground when Peter was not there to grab it. Looking around, I saw him sitting on a bookshelf, munching on an apple.

“It’s a portal,” he said. “If you go through the blue one, you’ll come out the orange one, and vice versa.”

“Really?” she made a move as if to step through, and of course I had to stop her. Unfortunately, in doing so I suffered the same fate that I saved her from, the notorious endless fall. Since I had been stupid to place the orange portal directly above the blue one, I would continue to fall until I moved to the side. That, however, was not an option, seeing as how the speed continued to build to the point that if I did move, I would either be seriously injured, or dead. Peter thought it was amusing, and almost choked on a bite of apple while he was laughing.

“Shut up and help me get out of this!” I said, my voice a little distorted. Grinning, Peter jumped down from his bookshelf and walked over to me, where he stood watching. Just when I thought he was going to be an asshole and do nothing, he reached out and grabbed my arm, somehow stopping me without ripping it off entirely.

“I’m not even going to question it this time,” I said, sighing with relief as I sat off to the side, a good distance away from the portals.

“Aw, but it’s fun when you get frustrated at my answers!” Peter whined.

“Why did you put them one above the other in the first place?” Twilight asked.

“I wasn’t really thinking about placement,” I replied, “I was just checking to see if it actually worked.

“Well it wasn’t a very good idea to step into it, considering the massive amount of velocity it would build. If Peter didn’t share certain... abilities with Pinkie Pie, you wouldn’t have been able to get out of that so easily.”

‘You don’t say?’ I thought to myself. Twilight was awesome and everything, but boy could she be boring sometimes. Peter picked up the cardboard portal gun and apparently turned it off, causing the portals to vanish. Stashing it in some invisible pocket, he went into the kitchen.

“Well at least I learned an important lesson,” I said.

“Really?” Twilight asked. “What might that be?”

“I learned what Chell felt like when I did that in Portal.” Twilight cocked her head quizzically. “Portal is a video game used for entertainment,” I said, noticing her mouth open to ask a question. “You use portals to solve puzzles and advance through the game.”

“That sounds like fun.”

“Trust me, it can be downright frustrating at certain points.” Letting out a yawn, I stretched and popped my neck.

“You must be tired,” Twilight said, once again stating the obvious. “The blankets and pillows are in the closet for you and Peter to use.

“Got it!” Peter called from the kitchen. I could smell grilled cheese, and I facepalmed thinking, ‘Why is he still hungry!?’

“I better get to bed as well,” Twilight said, looking at the clock. “Sleep well!”

“Don’t worry, we will!” Peter responded, coming out of the kitchen with a grilled cheese sandwich.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever sleep well with Peter around,’ I thought, grabbing a blanket and pillow from the closet and getting to bed as quick as possible so I didn’t have to put up with Peter more than absolutely necessary.

“I have a feeling tomorrow’s going to be a long day,” I muttered, setting my new glasses to the side and closing my eyes.