Today is my birthday, I’m one thousand two hundred years old now, but every single year is lonely, there are no parties for me. Since it was my birthday, I knew what was coming for me. Around the cave entrance, I can see Celestia’s sun shining brightly on the grass and flowers outside. After stretching out my back, I head towards the exit, then I hear a familiar voice, shes’s here.
“I knew you would be here Spike.”
“No, stay away from me!” I responded, my body locking into a trance, terrified by her ghostly presence.
“I just came here to wish you happy birthday!” she smirked.
“Just give me a break already!” I tried to move away from her, but my body had other plans.
“Going already?” she began to walk towards me slowly.
Finally, I took off before she could touch me. Looking back at the ground, she already disappeared, it was just another illusion. It’s been a long time since I saw her, she was always following me, though she died a long time ago, her shadow was still stalking me. Past memories flashed through my head.
“Why would you do this to all your friends!?” I screamed at Twilight.
“It will work, I just need your baby dragon heart. Then Celestia is going to be fine. Simple as that.”
Her horn grew brighter, I’ve seen this type of magic before, she killed everyone with it, everyone who would interrupt her experiments. Before she could launch her magic at me, Princess Celestia appeared and summoned a spear right through Twilight’s body.
“I… was going to—” Twilight started to spill out blood.
“Save me?” Celestia gave her student an aggressive look. “Was killing your friends really the only way to cure my sickness? I don’t believe you.”
After her rant, she fainted in front of me.
“Princess Celestia!” I grabbed her back with my little claws, but she was long gone.
“I-I was going to save her…” Twilight moaned, she pulled the spear out of her.
“You are not the Twilight I once knew,” I exclaimed as tears started to drop from my eyes.
Twilight was barely managing to stand up.
“By the way, happy birthday Spike,” she collapsed.
And there I was, in the middle of Twilight’s secret laboratory under her library, with two dead princesses. All of that happened on my birthday a long time ago, now every birthday aches my heart a little bit, even after one thousand years.
------OO------
I got back to reality as I spotted Ponyville. Landing near a bench, I started to make my routine walk, trying to recompose from my thoughts. The ponies are the only thing that changed around here after all these years. That’s not a surprise, they don’t live that long compared to dragons after all. The relaxing atmosphere and clear the clear blue sky pushed me away from my thoughts about Twilight. As I was following the concrete path around the park and passed along some more benches, I noticed a white little filly around a tree, picking up some flowers. I stared at her for a moment, then she noticed me.
“Are you okay sir?” said the cute little unicorn.
“I’m fine,” I answered with a fake smile, my head turned away when I realized that I stared at her for too long.
The silver-colored unicorn looked at me from head to toe with her blue eyes.
“I see a lot of dwagonz every day, but I never talked with one before. My teacher said that a long time ago, ponies were really scared of dwagonz!”
“It’s dragon, dra-guun,” I tried to correct her. “By the way, what are you doing out here on your own?” I looked around, there were no more ponies around the area.
“Oh, I was just looking for some flowers, It’s for my school project. I’m going to make a beautiful piece of art with all these flowers! I’m going to use a lot of yellow, blue—”
I sighed, this was going to be a long conversation. But I started to lose her words as the sunny day turned into a gloomy night, my mind started to attack me with more thoughts about Twilight. No, I can’t go crazy in front of a little filly!
“I-I gotta go,” I said after going back to the real world.
“Hey! Can’t you help me with the flowers mister dwagon?” she exclaimed, letting out a sigh as I began to fly away.
------OO------
I started to get illusions of Twilight one day after she died. With time, she stopped appearing, but every birthday is like this. A day filled with thoughts about Twilight. But I would be better if I could concentrate on something else, like talking. If there’s one friend that I can talk with, that friend would be Princess Ember, when the mane six were still alive, I made a partnership with Ember to get rid of the rivalry between ponies and dragons. As the years passed, Equestria became more united, and now, dragons and ponies roamed free around Equestria’s biggest cities. Of course, that happened a long time ago. This future Equestria is safer, but more lonely, at least for me. Eventually, almost everyone died of old age. Dragons are not immortal, but they live for a very long time.
At this point, I was above the clouds. Despite the rest of the world being so different after all these years, the sight of Equestria at this height was still the same. That brought a small smile on my face. But still, Equestria wouldn’t be the same without the princesses.
And trust me, they did change.
A lot.
There were only Princess Luna and Cadance to rule everypony after Twilight’s insane attempt at finding a cure for Celestia’s sickness. While Cadance managed to move forwards with her feelings, Princess Luna was heavily affected by her sister’s death. She locked herself inside her room, only to eventually come out and help Cadance with Equestria. But Luna was depressed, she wasn’t the same. I read all of that on the newspaper years ago, I never got enough courage to talk with her.
And finally, I reached the Dragon Lands, where Ember rules the throne. The same guards were at the entrance of her cave.
“Hello Spike, came for another visit?” said one of the guards.
“Yes,” I never asked his name, because I never wanted to. Every time I came to the Dragon Lands, I just wanted to visit Ember, the guards were only familiar for me, nothing more.
“Oh, sure,” because of my expression, the guard probably realized that this was one of my bad days.
Entering the cave I headed to her throne, she was talking with one of her guards about jewels. She quickly turns around to greet me.
“Well look who it is! Happy birthday Spike!” she shouts. “Did you came here for a talk or what?”
“Yeah, I need to talk with you,” I look at the guard that she was just talking with. “Privately.”
She orders the guard to leave the cave, he quickly leaves us alone, and I start with my discussion.
“I have thoughts that are making me feel bad,” I never talked to her about Twilight and my illusions, but she realized that I was acting differently a long time ago. When she questioned me about the way I was feeling, I always changed the subject, but not today.
“Yeah, you don’t look very happy right now. So what is it?” she asks.
“Twilight,” I get directly to the point.
“You would be the type of dragon to think about that.”
“It’s not only thinking about Twilight, it’s about having illusions of her too, after all, it is my birthday today.”
“Oh, right, she died on your birthday, that was a long time ago. Are you still disturbed by the events that unfolded that day?” she is starting to get very worried.
“Yes, a long time ago, the illusions happened almost every day, but she eventually stopped appearing, now it only happens on my birthday, I should’ve told you earlier about this.”
Ember stares at me for a moment.
“Have you tried to confront your illusion?”
“Yes, I said a lot of things to Twilight, but she always appears again. Even on my dreams.”
“Dreams? You could talk with Princess Luna about that,” Ember smiles slightly.
“I couldn’t have enough courage to talk with her about Twilight, you know how she is depressed.”
“So what? You are also pretty depressed, Spike.”
Silence.
“But I said that I don’t have enough courage to talk with—”
Ember quickly gets up from her throne, pointing her bloodstone scepter towards me as I take a step back.
“I don’t care if you have to see Luna in a depressed state, I just want you to talk to her about your dreams and Twilight. Maybe you will help her out too,” she gives me an angry look.
“Alright, if you insist,” I sigh.
“Good,” Ember responds with a relaxed voice.
------OO------
The sun is setting, the clear blue sky from before turned yellow.
“Had fun?” asks the same guard who greeted me before.
“Kind of,” I respond to him before taking off towards Canterlot. I had no time to waste with anyone now, except for Luna.
And here I am, flying again. But suddenly I hear voices inside of me, voices of Twilight.
“You could’ve stopped all of this.”
“What?” I gasp, surprised by her words. “What do you mean? Get out of here!”
“You could’ve helped me with the experiment Spike, I just needed a dragon heart, and since I had no time, I decided to go for the nearest dragon I knew.”
“You are crazy! You and your experiment!” I exclaimed.
“But think about it Spike, if you just gave your heart. I would still be alive, I wouldn’t be crazy anymore, Celestia would be alive.”
“Shut up! I’m not guilty of the death of any princess!” I close my eyes as I start to cry.
“Is that so?”
“I said shut up!” I open my eyes, there’s a mountain in front of me, I try to evade it, but it’s too late. I hit it directly.
I open my eyes again. I’m on the ground, my body feels clumsy and everything hurts. Slowly getting up, I look around. I’m close to a lake and there’s a mountain near it, I presume that’s the mountain that I got hit and knocked out of, and for a pretty long time because now, it’s morning. But the good news is that the voice of Twilight inside of my head disappeared, and I can continue my journey towards Canterlot.
It doesn’t take long until I’m walking around the halls of the castle in Canterlot, since I’m well known for being Twilight’s assistant and also helping with settling the rivalry between dragon and ponies, I can walk around these halls without much trouble. But this place is not the same, everything is at the same place, but the feel of Canterlot definitely changed. Not a single guard greets you, they have a lonely look on their faces. Fewer ponies walk around the castle and only a couple of small meetings are made here and there. This place feels so cold, so lonely.
Luna wasn’t on her throne, so I walk to her bedroom, I hesitate a little bit before knocking her door. But I can’t let Ember down, she was serious when she told me to talk with Luna. So I knock twice, the door opens slowly.
“Hello,” the sad Luna greets me. “It’s been a while since I talked with you…”
“Can I come in?”
With a small motion with her hoof, she invites me in. Her room is, of course, big. At my right side, there’s her big bed, with the image of the moon on the mattress. A fluffy white carpet was set near her bed, and on top of the carpet sits Luna’s shoes and accessories. At my left, I notice a medium-sized table with a kettle and five mugs, Princess Luna loves her coffee. At the end of the room, there’s a big door with big windows leading to a balcony outside. The room is overall very comfy, and it’s not a mess like I expected it to be after Luna spent so much time inside her bedroom.
“Coffee?” Luna levitates the kettle and a mug with her magic.
“S-sure,” I lay down next to the table as the princess fills a mug, she still has a depressed look on her face, just like me.
I take a sip of the tasty coffee, she does the same after filling her own mug.
“Just woke up?”
“Yes.”
I’m not sure if Luna realizes why I’m here, we haven’t talked for such a long time, maybe she thinks that I just got so lonely that I eventually decided to visit her?
“C-controlling both the sun and moon must be pretty hard,” I stuttered.
“Sometimes,” Luna lamented while blowing her coffee.
“So, you just woke up right?”
“Some time ago.”
“Cool…”
I had to talk about Twilight and Celestia, I wasn’t going anywhere like this.
“Luna,” I put my mug down on the table.
The princess looks up at me.
“Yes?”
“Do you have nightmares about Princess Celestia?”
Luna stared at me with wide eyes.
“How did you know that I had—”
“I have them too, but with Twilight. I also have illusions of her sometimes, especially on my birthday, which was yesterday.”
“Your birthday is on the same day that Twilight and my sister died?”
“Yes, Luna. And I want your help with all these nightmares and illusions. I’ll help you get rid of your nightmares too!” I reassured.
“And how in Equestria am I going to help you?” Luna shouted. “It was all my fault that everything happened in the first place!”
“What?”
“Exactly, when my sister was declared sick, Twilight talked with me to help her with the experiment to cure my sister.”
“You helped her?” I started to go insane.
“Yes, but I only helped her with the beginning of the experiment, but every day the ingredients were getting harder to get, so one day I just gave up. But Twilight… she kept going, and before I knew, she turned crazy. Even I was scared of her.”
Luna got up from the table and walked towards the balcony, I did the same.
“Luna, it’s not your fault. Twilight told me inside of my head that I was guilty too, saying that if I just gave her the dragon heart that she needed, everypony would be alive, but I know that it’s not true. Twilight started all of this, and Celestia just stopped her before she could hurt more people…”
“But I could’ve stopped her…” Luna cries even more depressed than before.
“We all could. But we didn’t, and that’s why we feel so bad.”
Luna stops crying for a moment.
“Now I have Twilight’s shadow around me and you have Celestia’s shadow around you, disturbing our sleep. You are the princess of the night, can’t you figure out a way to get rid of all these bad thoughts?”
“No… I can’t, Spike. As long as we have these bad thoughts, we are going to suffer.”
“No, t-there is a way Luna, p-please…” I started to lose hope. “I gathered so much courage to talk with you, and this is what I get?”
“Sorry, Spike. There’s no way.”
I look down at the balcony, the view below is… inviting. I slowly get closer to the ledge.
“Spike?” Luna mumbled.
I look up at the clouds and smile.
“S-Spike?”
“You are wrong, Luna. There is a way, the option was always there,” I laughed.
“Spike! Don’t do it!” Luna yells.
But I already jumped off, I could feel a little bit of magic on my legs, she tried to grab me, but I was too far. As I got near the ground, I started to regret my decision of jumping over that ledge.
What was I doing?
If I died, what would Luna do?
Would she kill herself too?
I didn’t want that.
Suicide would only lead to more suicide.
I just wanted to be happy.
Twilight tricked me. No, my mind tricked me.
Twilight’s mind was consumed by her thoughts of making a cure for Celestia.
And my mind got consumed with the thought that I would never be happy again.
But jumping off that ledge? Spike would never do that, neither would Twilight hurt anypony for an experiment.
It all became clear to me, our own minds made us become something terrible, and it lead us to make horrible decisions wich would only create more pain.
It was too late, I already jumped off that ledge and I was too close to the ground to open my wings and turn away.
I’m sorry, everyone.
------OO------
I opened my eyes, everything was so bright. Is this heaven?
As my sight became clearer, I saw the bright ceiling. This is not heaven, this is the Canterlot hospital. I look around my body, it hurts a lot, maybe I broke a couple of bones with the fall.
The fall… Luna! Where is Princess Luna?
Looking at my left side, I spot Princess Luna and Cadance sitting next to me.
“Luna!” I declared.
“Spike!” she quickly turns around and hugs me. Cadance just observes happily.
“Ouch, listen, I know that we are both happy but don’t hug me, i-it hurts.”
“Oh, s-sorry!” Luna retreats.
“So you didn’t kill yourself after all!” I look at Luna’s face. “Y-you are so happy, is it because of me?”
“Well, kind of. When I saw you going over that ledge, I realized something,” she smiles. “I knew that Spike wouldn’t do that, you were being controlled by bad thoughts, and I was being controlled by my thoughts too. And I would also jump off that ledge after you, but Luna wouldn’t do that, so I finally came to my senses.”
“I also realized the same thing when I was close to the ground. I also came to my senses, I’m finally Spike again. By the way, how did I not die from that fall?”
“You don’t need to thank me,” Princess Ember comes inside the room.
“Wait, you saved me?”
“Yeah, I sent a depressed dragon to talk with a depressed pony, of course I had to follow you, I used my scepter to create some water, it not the best thing to land on, but that’s what I thought of at that moment, so you still had some broken bones.”
“Oh, well thanks anyways, Ember! I didn’t know that your bloodstone scepter could do those type of things.”
“You’re welcome, now you know.”
“So the both of you came to your senses?” asks Cadance.
“Yeah, I didn’t have any nightmares after my fall, so my bad thoughts about Twilight is gone.”
“I think that I’m fine too. It feels so much better now that we got rid of those bad thoughts. We just needed to realize what we were doing, and who we really were. The real Twilight and Celestia would never want us to become so depressed to the point of suicide, wich would lead other ponies to suicide.”
“Also, Spike, I think that I’m a little bit late for this but… happy birthday,” Cadance giggles.
After some weeks, I got out of the hospital in a wheelchair because of my broken leg, Princess Luna came to the hospital to pick me up.
“It’s so good to be outside again!” I exclaim.
“Yep!” Luna smiles. “Are you ready for some coffee?”
“Only if it’s made by you, Princess Luna.”
“You know it!”
She suddenly stops moving the wheelchair with her magic.
“Spike, I was waiting for you go get out of the hospital to give you this,” Luna pulls out a small gift hidden within her mane.
“You know that my birthday was weeks ago, right?”
“Consider it a gift for your recovery.”
I hastily pick up the gift and after opening it, I pull out a picture frame, with a photo of me and Twilight, wich was taken years ago when she became a princess and I was still a baby dragon.
“Luna…” I turn towards her with a smile on my face. “This... is the best gift ever.”
