Roses Are Red, Dummy!

by Summer Dancer

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Soarin, Fluttershy (EqG), Romance, Rarity (EqG), Equestria Girls, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Applejack (EqG)
Length: 3705

Soarin has liked Rainbow Dash for some time. Unfortunately, she's really bad at picking up romantic hints, much to everyone's slight annoyance.

Soarin has liked Rainbow Dash for some time, but unfortunately, she's really bad at picking up romantic hints, which pretty much annoys everyone.

Gift for Nordryd

Published 2017-01-18 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-18 00:40:01 UTC

He Says the Weirdest Things...

Rainbow Dash bounced her soccer ball from one knee to the other on the Canterlot field. Her knees were starting to turn a pinkish-red color from the long hour of practice, but the young athlete kept at it. “Ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety five…”

She lifted her knees higher, her eyes sharp and focused. “Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight…”

“Hey Rainbow Dash!”

“Ninety...four....wait, ninety…shoot.” The soccer ball fell to the ground and Rainbow’s foot slammed on top of it. “Soarin!” Rainbow complained as he came running up to her. “You made me lose count! Now I have to start all over!”

Soarin jogged up to her side and rested his hands on his knees, panting. He looked up and grinned. “Sorry. Just thought I’d tell you that fifth period starts in five minutes. Buuut, if you’d rather stay out here…”

“What!?” Rainbow squawked, glancing at her watch. With a strangled squeak, she ran to grab her backpack and sporting equipment bag. “One more tardy and Mr. Doodle’s gonna flunk me!” She snatched her backpack onto her shoulder and used her free hand to pick up her soccer ball. “I’m so dead!”

“Here!” Soarin reached out and pulled Rainbow’s big equipment bag and swung the strap on his shoulders. “Go, I’ll catch up with you. You’ll run faster without your gear with you.”

Rainbow quirked an eyebrow. “But..aren’t you gonna be late for your class?”

“Don’t make me change my mind, Crash,” he grinned. As Rainbow struggled to put on her backpack, a magazine and landed on the grass, wind flipping its pages. He picked up the magazine and read the content of the open page. Squinting, he read, “‘How to Change Your G string’?”

Rainbow Dash snatched the magazine out of his hands, her cheeks burning. “Guitar practice.” She bolted and took off across the field.

*****
“Rainbow Dash…Rainbow Dash…”

Mr. Cranky Doodle glanced around the classroom while his students waited with baited breath. “No Rainbow Dash?”

“Maybe she’s sick,” Flash Sentry said from the back of the room.

“Or maybe she’s got a Charlie Horse,” Fleetfoot suggested. “Our teammates get them all the time.”

“Well, Charlie Horse or not, the bell is in exactly two minutes."

“Please, Mr. Doodle,” Fluttershy said. She ducked her head when his gaze shifted to her. “She’s improving really well in this class. She tries so hard...it’d be awful if she failed now because of a tardy.”

“Several tardies, you mean! I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I’ve warned her time and time again. But this time, I’m afraid--”

“Here!” yelled a voice. Heads turned as Rainbow Dash slid into the classroom with the sound of the bell a second later. Panting, she crossed over to her seat next to Fluttershy's and plopped down.

Mr. Doodle glared at her, but checked off her name in the attendance sheet. “You might not be so lucky next time, Miss Dash,” he said pointedly. “I suggest you arrive earlier than almost.”

Rainbow sat back in her chair and breathed out a sigh of relief as Mr. Doodle went further down the attendance sheet. Fleetfoot clapped a hand on her shoulder from behind and leaned forward in her desk. “Keep tempting fate, Crash,” she whispered. “If you flunk this class, our soccer team’s gonna have a new Captain, you get me?”

“Relax,” Rainbow whispered back. “I’m not getting kicked off.”

“Why were you so late?” Fluttershy asked, her eyebrows furrowed. “I texted you ten minutes ago to make sure you got here on time.”

Rainbow leaned her elbows on the desk and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry, Flutters. I kinda got distracted.” She offered a small, apologetic smile. “Won’t happen again. I promise.”

Fluttershy didn’t say anything, but gave a small nod and faced the front of the class. Rainbow bit her lip.

As Mr. Doodle finished attendance, Soarin’s head poked into the classroom. He spotted Mr. Doodle and watched silently as the middle-aged man shuffled the papers on his desk before turning to the chalk board. With Cranky's back turned, Soarin quickly darted over to Rainbow’s desk, silently shushing the giggling students watching him.

Rainbow Dash smiled as Soarin kneeled down on the floor next to her desk with her large equipment bag in tow. She mouthed a silent thanks as he set the bag down near her sneakers. Soarin held up two fingers and gave a salute and a wink before crawling backwards and dashing out of the classroom before Mr. Doodle could see him.

“So...” Fleetfoot whispered with a small smirk. “You got distracted, huh?” Small bursts of laughter scattered throughout the room.

Rainbow turned her head, raising an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Rolling her eyes, Fleetfoot shook her head and sat back in her seat. “Nothing.”

After class, Rainbow Dash managed to catch up to Fluttershy and apologized profusely for being late. “I know I messed up. Please don’t be mad!”

“I’m not mad,” Fluttershy replied, hugging her books close to her chest. “I just wish you would take History more seriously. I know it’s not your favorite subject, but you need to put more effort into being punctual."

Rainbow sighed. “I know.” She lugged the strap of her equipment bag higher onto her shoulder.

“Do you need help?”

“No, I got it.” She gave her a side glance before looking downward. “I really am sorry.”

“I know…” A smile finally appeared on her face as she chuckled. “I forgive you, Rainbow Dash. I’m just worried, that’s all. I love tutoring you, but if Mr. Doodle flunks you, you’ll be moved to a different History class, and I won’t be able to help you anymore.”

Rainbow scoffed ruefully. “Ol’ Cranky would love that, wouldn’t he?”

Fluttershy shook her head at Rainbow’s statement. After passing a few classrooms, they stopped at Rainbow Dash’s locker. The pink-haired girl leaned against the other lockers and waited patiently as Rainbow turned her combination lock. When she opened her locker, a note fell out of it. Rainbow bent down to pick it up.

"What does it say?" Fluttershy asked, craning her neck to see.

Rainbow glanced at the note and burst out laughing. "This is so dumb!"

"What is?"

"It's from Soarin. He always leaves funny little jokes in my locker." She snickered. "Where did Mariposa go after the explosion?"

Fluttershy's mouth curved in thought. "Hmm. I don't know. Where did she go?"

"EVERYWHERE!" Rainbow's laughter echoed the hallway, attracting odd glares fro every direction.

Fluttershy looked down. "I didn't think it was very funny."

"But it's so dumb, it's good, right?"

"Not really."

"Hello, girls!" Rarity called out to them, carrying her purple binder over to them. "Oh--what's this, Rainbow Dash?"

"It's another joke," Rainbow said, showing her the note. "It's even dumber than the last one!"

Rarity's eyelids lowered. "Another?"

"Yeah, he puts one in my locker all the time."

"Ooh...It wouldn't be from a certain someone from the Soccer team, would it?"

Rainbow Dash gave her a weird look. "Yeaaah..."

Rarity grinned from ear to ear and fluttered her eyelashes. "Aaaaand?"

"...Aaaand?"

The fashionista's face dropped, and a faint vein began throbbing in her forehead. "AND!?"

"...AAand that's it. They're dumb..." She grinned. "But funny!"

Rarity began to shriek, but Fluttershy covered her mouth and shook her head. Rarity wrestled free and jumed up and down when Rainbow turned her back. "He's sending her jokes!" she whispered furiously as Fluttershy began to guide her away. "He's sending her jokes!"

"Take a walk, Rarity," Fluttershy whispered, sending her off.

"This is the tenth time this month!"

"Walk it off," Fluttershy urged gently as Rarity stormed off.

While Rainbow Dash struggled to stuff her large bag into her locker, Fluttershy turned back to her and tapped her fingers against her books. “So...how long were you and Soarin practicing for?”

“Hmm?” Rainbow said distractedly. “Oh, Soarin? Well, we weren’t really practicing. I mean, I was, but then Soarin came out and told me that class was about to start.” She grunted as she nudged her elbow into the the bag. “If it...wasn’t for him--nngh! I’d be in special History class by now.”

Fluttershy seemed to perk up at this. “Oh? Well that was very nice of him.”

“Yeah. I owe him big time. He was tardy to his own class just to warn me.” Her expression faltered a bit. “Aaaand, I feel like an awful person.”

“Is he...always this nice to you?” Rainbow looked at her and she gave a sugary sweet smile. “I’m just curious.”

Rainbow thought for a moment. “Well...yeah, I guess…” she slammed her locker shut and turned the combination lock once. “I mean, I am the Captain.” She smirked, adjusting her backpack straps. “Of course he’s nice to me.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “I suppose. That’s good. I’m glad.” As they continued down the hallway, Fluttershy glanced over with an odd smile on her face. “I sure wish I had someone to carry my things to my class like that,” she said wistfully. “Not many people do that for each other these days, you know.”

Rainbow lifted her eyebrows. “Flutters, if you want your stuff carried, you can just ask. You have me to do that.”

“I--but--” Fluttershy stammered, but it was too late. Rainbow Dash had already taken her books and ran off.

“C’mon, Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy stood there until she sighed and trailed after her. “That’s not what I meant,” she murmured.

“Rainbow, chill out!” Soarin said, putting the last of the Soccer Balls in the bin. The Wondercolts had finished their daily practice routine and it was Soarin’s turn to clean up the supplies from the field, but Rainbow had insisted upon cleaning it up herself. Soarin had repeatedly insisted that she didn't need to pay him back, but in the back of his mind, he knew better than to try to talk his teammate out of something.

He ran up to pick up an orange cone, but Rainbow beat him to it, snatching it from the ground and bringing it to the supply bin. Soarin gave a short sigh of frustration. “You don’t owe me ANYTHING!” he shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth.

“Whaaat?” Rainbow shouted back, sprinting across the field to retrieve more balls.

Soarin frowned. “I know you can hear me!” He groaned and ran after her. “C’mon, Rainbow! Rainbow!”

Rainbow Dash ignored him, running back to the bin with four soccer balls in her arms. As soon as she dumped them inside, Soarin turned her around. “Rainbow,” he said slowly but cheerfully, taking her face between his hands. “Buddy? Pal? Amiga? If Spitfire finds out that someone’s been helping me with my duties, you realize that the consequences won’t be pretty. Right?”

Rainbow snorted and took Soarin’s face between her hands. With an equally cheerful tone, she replied, “Spitfire’s not here.”

“Rainbow, I told you you don’t owe me anything,” Soarin sighed as Rainbow let go of his face. “I did it because I wanted to.”

“What’s wrong with me helping you?” Rainbow said, putting her hands on her hips. “You’re the one who’s always complaining how I’m never nice to you.”

“I never said that!” Soaring said indignantly. “I simply said that I’d wish you’d be nicer.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and Soarin held up his hands. “Alright alright, hold up. I know how you can make it up to me.”

Rainbow blinked up at him. “Yeah?”

“I’m pretty dried out. How about we...go get some ice cream?”

Rainbow Dash stared at him, and his green eyes began to grow nervous. “Ice cream? Seriously?”

To her surprise, Soarin looked a little sheepish and absently scratched the area behind his shoulder. “What? You don’t like Ice cream?”

“Well, yeah...yeah, of course I do...that’s not what I meant. It’s just that I thought I’d be doing something...harder than that.”

Soarin fidgeted a little before shrugging. “So,” he smiled. “Yes, no? Or you wanna get something else?”

After a moment of thinking, Rainbow shrugged. “Okay. But I’m buying.” Tossing the last bit of equipment inside the bin, she ran over to retrieve her backpack. “I’m gonna hit the showers first! Meet me at the front of the school!”

She barely heard Soarin’s reply, for she was already dashing towards the locker room. On the way there, she spotted Applejack carrying three boxes of cider. “A.J.! Hey A.J.!”

The blonde turned her head and stopped. “Howdy, Rainbow!” she called with a smile. “Where you runnin’ off to?”

“Getting ready to shower,” Rainbow panted, slowing down and leaning against the small gated fence that separated them. “I’m about to leave with Soarin to get some ice cream.”

Applejack lifted an eyebrow. “Really?” She glanced at the field and spotted Soarin collecting his things in the far distance. “Who asked who?”

“He asked me,” Rainbow said, jerking a thumb towards herself.

“That so?”

“Mmmhmm. But I’m buying.”

Applejack smirked. “Takin’ care of business, aren’t you?”

“It’s the least I could do. I kind of owe him.”

“I heard. Not to sound like Rarity, Dash, but...might I ask what you’ll be wearin?”

Rainbow shrugged. “What I always wear.” She paused, looking a bit uncertain. “What, should I...wear something else?”

Applejack shook her head.. “Nope. Just make sure you don’t get any food stuck between your teeth.” She winked. “Boys hate that.”

Rainbow waved a hand dismissively. “Aw, it’s just Soarin. He won’t care.” Another pause. “Would he?”

“Shucks, you know him better than I do. People just hate that in general.”

“...Okay, I FEEL like you’re trying to tell me something.”

Applejack grinned. “Is there somethin’ you want to hear?”

“A.J.! Get real with me, should I wear something else?”

“No, you’re fine. I’m just sayin’ that you’re not eating with the girls this time, so I suggest you show off your 'awesome' manners for a change, hmm?”

Rainbow playfully punched her in the shoulder. “Yeah, right! You’re the one to talk!” The two of them snickered.

“Well, I gotta get these boxes over to the Gym,” Applejack said. “Pinkie Pie’s got her hands full with the Winter Formal so she needs all the help she can get.”

“You sure you don’t need my help?” Rainbow asked.

“We got it covered for now. Go on, you don’t want to keep him waitin’ do you?” The two said their goodbyes and Rainbow continued on her way to the locker rooms. After a few steps, Rainbow slowed down and turned. “Applejack…”

Applejack stopped to look back. "Yeah?"

Rainbow teetered on her shoes and gripped her backpack straps tighter. "I...feel like I'm missing something here...am I?"

Applejack smiled warmly. "I got a feeling that you won't miss too much after tonight. See you!"

"See ya." Rainbow resumed walking. Her face scrunched up as her hand want to her stomach. It felt like someone had tied a bunch of knots in her stomach. It didn’t feel good.

Might be the burrito I had for lunch, she thought. Hmm. Burritos and ice cream. That’s just asking for it. Rainbow suddenly burst out laughing at the thought of her running to the restroom in the middle of her time with Soarin. The knots in her stomach started to ease up, but she still felt some of it’s weight.

It’s gonna be fine. I’m going to have an awesome time with an awesome guy.

No worries.

No worries…

Rainbow Dash was worried. Though, she wasn’t really sure what she was worried about. Soarin had taken them to Sugarcubes, the most frequent hangout place among the Canterlot High students. Tonight, however, there weren’t as many students around. The evening had grown so cold, Rainbow could see the fog of her breath everything she exhaled. As cold as it was, it was too late to turn back now.

“H-h-how about a h-hot ch-ch-chocolate instead?” Soarin suggested, his teeth chattering.

Rainbow nodded in response as another customer opened the door, letting in another gust of ice cold wind into the room. They both shivered and moved over to the booth farthest away from the front door. They sat down and spent a few awkward seconds staring at each other before laughing. Rainbow lifted her arms and waved the large dark sleeves that hung off of them.

“Thanks for letting me wear your jacket. I literally almost died out there."

Soarin grinned at her. “Hey, someone had to be sensible enough to bring a jacket.”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know it would get cold?”

“It’s Winter, Dash. It’s no sweat. It might be a little big for you…” He laughed at the long sleeves on Rainbow Dash. “But at least you look better in it than I do.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled slowly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. But she didn’t understand why. She craved for compliments, almost as much as Rarity did. She didn’t feel bothered by it, but she couldn’t help but feel...weird.

Soarin chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded his head as Mrs. Cake came by with a large red tray. “Here we are!” she chirped, setting the tray down on the table. “Two cups of hot chocolate!”

“Thanks, Mrs. C,” Soarin said as they both grabbed their mugs.

“You’re welcome, dear.” Picking the red tray up again, she glanced at Rainbow Dash and gave her a very unusual smile before leaving. Rainbow Dash stared after her with her cup in hand.

Why’s everyone acting so weird today?

“Gyaah!” Soarin exclaimed, holding his tongue between his fingers.

Rainbow Dash guffawed. “It’s hot chocolate, remember?”

Soarin waved his hand next to his lolled out tongue, causing her to laugh more. Soarin glared at her, but it only lasted a moment before his stony expression gave way, and he snorted.

“We should call you Hot Lips now,” Rainbow snickered.

“Actually,” Soaring said, his speech a bit slurred due to his burnt tongue. “That’s not half bad. But only the girls can call me that.”

“Nuh-uh,” Rainbow grinned, shaking her head. “This has to be an everyone thing. It has to.”

“I thought you were trying to be nicer to me this time,” Soarin said, blowing on his hot chocolate before taking a small sip.

“Hey. I’m always nice to you, Soarin.”

Soarin smiled above his cup. “I know.”

Rainbow set her cup down and fiddled with the sleeves of Soarin’s soccer jacket. She hesitated before looking up. “Is...this what I think it is, Soarin?”

Soarin looked at her. “Hmm? What?”

Rainbow glanced around pointedly before her eyes returned to Soarin. “This. The whole...bringing me to Sugarcubes thing.” She swallowed hard. “Is this...a date?”

Soarin regarded her for a moment and slowly placed his mug on the table. He drummed his knuckles on the wooden surface before shaking his head. “Not...really. I wouldn’t want to drag you into one without asking you.”

“But you did ask me.”

Soarin shook his head again. “No. I asked you if you wanted to get some ice cream. I asked you because I wanted to hang out with you.” He smiled a little. “To get to know you.”

Rainbow fidgeted in her seat, finding a sudden interest in the table. “Have you been on one before? A date?”

A pause. “Yeah.”

Rainbow’s fingers found their way out of the large sleeves and intertwined with each other. “Did you like it?”

“...Sort of. I remember the food more than I remembered the date.” He tilted his head. “Middle school was pretty confusing for me.”

The corner of Rainbow’s mouth twitched. “Would you...ever want to go on one with me?”

There was a longer moment of silence before Soarin finally answered. “...Yeah.”

A long shaky sigh escaped Rainbow’s lips as she finally looked up. “I’m really stupid sometimes,” she said quietly.

“You're not stupid,” Soarin said in a soft tone. “I was just being…” He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I was sort of glad that you didn’t know. I didn’t want it to be...weird between us. But I did want to know more about you. The you off the field, that is.”

Rainbow nodded. "So, uh..." her eyes darted around awkwardly. "Does anyone else know?"

Soarin's cheeks tinted red. "Let's just say...a lot of people."

A loud sigh escaped her as she sat back in the booth. "Why don't people just tell me? I'm not some mind reader!"

Soarin played with his hands. "This is...kind of embarrassing," he chuckled.

Rainbow smiled at him and nudged his foot under the table. “I’m glad we hung out today. I...wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

Soarin's features brightened. He reached across the table and put his hand over hers. Her heartbeat increased a little, and small goosebumps began to form on her arm beneath Soarin’s jacket.

“Got homework?” Soarin asked.

“Tons.”

Soarin grabbed his mug and raised it to his lips. “How about finish our cocoa and go study?”

Failing to suppress her large grin, Rainbow nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Outside Sugarcubes, Rainbow's friends and the Wondercolts team all groaned a sigh of relief, huddled together in their Winter coats.

"Finally," Sunset shivered.

"I don't have to keep it a secret anymore!" Pinkie Pie cheered, bouncing up and down.

"Someone owes me a twenty," Spitfire smirked, holding her hand out. Fluttershy sighed and gave her the bill.

Back inside, Rainbow Dash reached into her pockets to get out the money, but froze when her fingers only hit the bottom. She quickly unzipped Soarin’s jacket and her hands flew to her vest pockets.

“Uhh...Soarin? You don’t have any money on you, do you?”

Soarin reached into his own pockets and pulled out the insides. They stared at each other for a moment, and Rainbow groaned, slapping her hand against her face.

Soarin bit his lip. “Oh boy.” Suddenly, a pair of warm lips pressed against Soarin’s cheek. He froze, and his mouth hung slightly open as Rainbow pulled away and leaned off of the table.

“Tell my story,” she whispered earnestly. With that, she scooted out of the booth and walked towards the counter, sighing. “Hey, Mrs. Cake…”

Author's Note

This is for you, Nordryd! :yay: You're amazing!

I added Fluttershy in, because I know how much you enjoy her character :twilightsmile:

Thanks for reading!