Red vs Blue

Velvet stumbled, bleary-eyed and barely awake, into her bathroom. In ritual older than the hills, she knelt in reverence on the tile floor. Her hymns and words were known to all ponykind as she began to pray to the porcelain god.

"BLAAARGH!" Velvet wretched. "I swear- BLAAARGH! I will never- BLAAARGH! Do this again! BLAAARGH! Please just take the pain away!"

Velvet's zealous prayers stirred the stallion that was still in her bed from his blissful slumber.

"F-fuck! It feels like my head is full of broken glass!" Night Light groaned. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It felt like he was using sandpaper to do it.

"BLAAARGH!"

Night Light's ears perked up at the sound of Velvet's technicolor yawn. He looked to the bathroom. He could see the star-studded hind-end of the mare in mid-hurl. Her tail was plastered with a familiar protein stain. The same that was discoloring the sheets beside him.

"Oh fuck. Is that morning sickness!?" he asked in terror.

"NO, you jackass! It's a- BLAAARGH! hangover!" she growled.

"But you- but we- last night!" he stuttered. Velvet felt her head pounding as her blood pressure spiked from the exertion, and frustration. With her stomach finally and completely vacated, she hugged the base of the toilet and rested her cheek against the cold rim of the bowl in exhaustion.

"Yeah well," she groaned. "It takes more than just twelve hours." Velvet crawled over to her sink and turned on the water, splashing some into her mouth to rinse. "It usually takes about six weeks after conception for morning sickness to present."

"But still! Last night I- you made me cum inside you!" he said.

"I didn't make you do anything. You could have stopped yourself," she said.

"Okay, I'm not going to get into explaining how wrong you are about that!" he said.

"You could have stopped me, then. You're obviously a lot stronger than I am!" she said.

"I didn't want to hurt you!" he said.

"Just admit that you let it happen because you wanted to! You enjoyed it!" she said.

"No, I didn't-" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, Fine! I obviously did enjoy it!" he admitted. "But we still shouldn't have let that happen! It was grossly irresponsible of both of us!"

"Would you please lower your voice!?" Velvet groaned as she rubbed her temples. She rummaged through her bathroom cabinet, seeking a headache potion. "Besides, my fertile season doesn't even start until spring." She uncapped the bottle and threw back the elixir. "So relax." She set the empty bottle back in the cabinet and grabbed her toothbrush. Night Light started balling up her soiled linen to bring to the castle launderer. He froze after a moment.

"Last night was the Grand Galloping Gala," he said. Velvet snorted as she brushed her teeth.

"Wow. I thought your brother was gonna be the detective," she mumbled, with the brush still in her mouth. "Tell me something I don't know."

"It was held yesterday!" he repeated. "Held traditionally on...?" he led. Velvet froze and looked at herself in the mirror. Her reflection's wide eyes stared back. "...the Vernal Equinox," he finished. The toothbrush fell from her gaped mouth and clattered in the sink basin.

"... fuck."

"Hey. Hey!" Night Light shouted as he chased after Velvet through the streets of Canterlot. "Where are you going?

"Canterlot Apothecary," she said without even looking back at him.

"What? That's almost on the other side of the city! Why don't we just go to the castle doctor?"

"Absolutely not!" Velvet said as she trotted quickly down cobblestone roads. "Princess Celestia can not find out about this!"

"But you might not even be-"

"Don't even say the word!" she cut him off. "I'm probably not. But I don't need her asking me any uncomfortable questions. I don't like lying to her."

"You seem pretty good at it," he said.

"That doesn't mean I like doing it!" she said.

"So what's the plan?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Well we need a plan."

"The plan is for me to not be... you know. And Celestia will never have to know about any of this," she said, getting a bit breathless as she trotted faster.

"That's not a plan that's a goal!" he said. He ran in front of her. "Hey!" He put his hoof up in front of her to stop her. "Listen, I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But we need a plan. We have to be prepared for you to be..." he trailed off. "For the worst-case scenario. Failing to plan is planning to fail!" he said. She stared him in the eyes.

"Failure isn't an option," she said.

"I agree," he said. She brushed his hoof away with hers and walked around him. He followed after her. "So what's the plan?" he asked again.

"If I'm not..." she avoided the word. "If it's negative, nothing. We pretend this never happened and we never speak of it again."

"And if it's..." She looked back and glared at him. "If it isn't negative?"

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," she said.

"I don't think that's how the expression goes," he said. He trotted after her, very nearly to other side of Canterlot, avoiding any places that might be visited from somepony from the castle. But there was another problem with Velvet's excuse for a 'plan'.

"We're here. Canterlot Apothecary," she said, reading the sign.

"Okay. So?" he asked waving for her to go inside.

"There's a problem," she said. "I told you my mother used to run this shop. Well the mare that works here now knows my mother. And me."

"Okay..."

"So I can't very well go in there and buy a... test without her telling my mom!" Velvet said.

"Okay..."

"So you need to come in and buy the test."

"What? No! I'm not buying it!" he said. Velvet grabbed the collar of his uniform.

"Listen to me very carefully," she growled through her grit teeth, "You and I are in this mess together. It's a big shit sandwich and we all have to take a bite. So if you don't go in there and buy the damn test for me, I am going to fold you in half and feed you your own dick! Do you understand?"

"...kay."

"Welcome to the Canterlot Apothecary," the shopkeeper greeted them as they walked inside, "where it never fails to cure what ails- Velvet? Is that you?"

"Oh, uh, hey Poppy Seed," Velvet said as she waved sheepishly. "How's it going?"

"Oh, you know. Same old same old," Poppy said. "What brings you here? I thought you were staying in Celestia's castle."

"I was. I mean, I am."

"Don't they have their own potions alchemist?"

"What? Oh! Yeah, but, I was just out and about and I remembered that I was out of my headache potion. And I said, 'hey, why don't I stop in and see my mom's old friend?'. So, yeah, here I am," Velvet said.

"Here you are," Poppy repeated and looked over Velvet's shoulder at the Royal Guard pony. "Who's the stud?" she asked with a playful grin.

"Nothing!" Velvet barked. "I mean, he's not with me!"

"Hey Velvet, is this the right thing?" Night Light asked, bringing her a test kit.

"Not with you, eh?" Poppy teased.

"Well, I mean, yes, he's here with me but he's not with me with me. He's a Royal Guard." Poppy looked at the signature brass armor on the stallion.

"I would never have guessed," Poppy said as she rolled her eyes. "Does he have a name, or should I just call him 'Guard'?"

"His name is Night Light," Velvet said. "Lieutenant Night Light." Night Light brought the test kit to the counter. Velvet grabbed it. "No! This is the wrong thing. This is an ovulation tester! Go get-" Velvet stopped herself and pulled Night with her to the right area. She put the ovulation tester back and grabbed the pregnancy test and put it into his hoof. "This," she said. Night Light took the box and walked back to the front counter.

"I would like to purchase... this," he said as he placed the pregnancy test on the counter. "It's not for me!" he blurted.

"No. I should not think so," Poppy said, ringing up the sale. She tried her best to keep her raised eyebrow from escaping her forehead.

"It's not for me either!" Velvet said, a bit too loud and defensively. "It's for a friend!"

"Okay-"

"A slutty friend!" Night said.

"That's really none of my-"

"Like, really slutty! A cockoholic!"

"Seriously none of my-"

"Like throwing a carrot down an allywa-" Night Light had a candy apple shoved into his mouth as Velvet's horn glowed. "..."

"And one candy apple, please," Velvet said. Poppy rang up the sale and Velvet grabbed the bits from Night Light's bag.

"I hope everything works out," Poppy said.

"It's for a friend!" Velvet repeated.

"I hope everything works out... for your 'friend'," Poppy amended. "Have a nice day."

"Hank hoo!" Night said with a mouth full of apple.

"Smooth," Velvet scolded him as they left.

"Alright, so let's head back to your place and see what's what," he said once they got outside.

"It doesn't work that way. We have to wait a week before I can take the test," she said as she read the back of the kit.

One Awkward Week Later

"So, how does it work?" Night asked, sitting beside Velvet on her bed.

"It's pretty simple," Velvet said as she looked over the instructions in the kit. "You pee in a cup and then you add the activator solution. It reacts with the level of hormones in the urine. And you wait to see what color it turns. Red or blue."

"And that tells you if it's a filly or a colt?" he asked.

"No. Red is negative. It's a control to make sure you did the test right. If there's no color change, then you need to try again. If it's blue..." Velvet trailed off.

"Okay. So, let's do this," he said. "The suspense is killing me."

"Alright, fine." Velvet took the kit into the bathroom and sat on the toilet with the cup in hoof under her. Night Night stood in the doorway. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Well, do you mind giving me a little privacy?" she asked.

"What's the big deal? I had my tongue down there last week. Is this really that weird?"

"You're making it weird!" she said. "And you're making me nervous!"

"Alright! Fine!" Night Light turned around. Velvet closed her eyes and sighed. After a moment she filled the testing cup and placed it on the sink counter. Night Light turned back around when he heard her finish. He looked at the dark yellow liquid. "You're looking a little dehydrated there."

"NOT my biggest problem right now!" she yelled.

"Okay, sorry," he apologized. Velvet opened the bottle of activator solution from the kit and added in the measured amount. Several tense seconds passed. "Nothing happened. Did you do it right?"

"Yes. It just takes a minute."

"I'm just trying to say that maybe you may have done it wrong."

"And I'm just trying to tell you to WAIT A MINUTE!" she yelled.

"Wow. Mood swings already? Are you having weird cravings too?" he asked.

"That's not funny," she muttered.

"Nopony's laughing," he said.

"..."

"..."

"For the record, you can't hold your liquor worth a shit," Night Light said. "I drank way more than you and I didn't puke."

"Congratulations," Velvet deadpanned, still sitting on the toilet. "I think I have a dog treat around here that you can have."

"Wait, look!" The yellow fluid in the cup started to change tint, slowly getting darker and finally changing to- "Red's negative right? So, is that like, a really, really dark red? Like purple or violet? But definitely not-" Night Light's face turned pale and he dove in front of her. He shoved his head into her lap, puking between her legs into the toilet. Velvet recoiled in what little space she had, too tired to be angry anymore. She just placed her hoof on his head and rubbed his mane gently to comfort him as he retched violently.

"Yeah. Me too," Velvet sighed as she looked at the cup on the counter.

It was blue.

"So what's the plan?" Night Light asked as he washed his face in the sink. He had finished 'purging his weakness' into the toilet and was now on damage control. Velvet sat on the bed, looking at her belly as she rubbed it with her hoof. It didn't look any bigger. "Velvet? Velvet!" She snapped out of her trance and looked at him. "What's the plan?" he asked her again.

"What do you mean?" she asked, still dazed in shock.

"I mean, what are we going to do," he waved at her belly "about this?"

"Do?" she asked, still confused.

"Yeah. I mean, you could take a potion, or just drink a lot of alcohol. Or I could push you down the stairs."

"No."

"Okay, okay, I know a clinic that doesn't ask questions-"

"No."

"I'll pay for it."

"No!" Velvet yelled. "We're not doing any of those things!" Night Light rushed to her side and held her.

"Velvet, listen. You're emotional. You're in shock. I understand that. But you're not thinking clearly right now," he said.

"You're not thinking clearly!" she retorted.

"No doubt," he agreed. "But we need to be rational about this. I'm a lieutenant in the Royal Guard. You're Celestia's protege. We both have bright futures ahead of us. There's no need for us to throw all that away over a reckless mistake."

"It's not a mistake! It's a foal!" she said, her hoof still on her stomach.

"It's-" He bit his tongue. "I meant last week." Velvet sneered at him.

"You're a coward," she spat. "You were ready and raring to go off and battle dragons. But look at you now, trembling in your boots like a scared little colt. Does this really make you that afraid? Are you really that pathetic?"

"No! It's just-" He grit his teeth. He was angry. Angry and disgusted with himself. He took off his helmet and set it on her dresser. He sighed and ran his hoof through his mane. He turned and faced her. He stood at a crossroads of his life. One path was easier, but darker, and dirty. The other was harder. It was so much harder. But it was also bright with honor.

"Velvet," he said, "you're right. I am afraid. Fuck it, I'm terrified! So, see me for the scared colt that I am. Because it's ultimately your choice. But my father raised me right. So if that's your final answer, I will stand by, and support your decision... and you."

"I know," Velvet said, hugging him. "You're my bodyguard." She smiled. "You don't have a choice."

The custodian finished replacing the vanity mirror that Prince Pedigree had stolen from Velvet's dresser. She got ready for class and stood in front of the new mirror. She looked at herself, turning from side to side as she rubbed her belly.

"It's only been eight days," Night Light said from the doorway.

"I know," Velvet sighed.

"What are you going to tell her?" he asked. "Princess Celestia, I mean." Velvet shrugged. "Because, you don't have to tell her anything. Not today anyway."

"I know." She looked at herself a minute more.

"Come on. Spring break is over. You're going to be late," he said.

"... And so if the dominant allele for yellow coloration in wax beans is carried down to the next generation, we will see a seventy-five percent showing and a twenty five percent-" Celestia's lecture was cut off by the last bell of the day. "Okay class, make sure you read the rest of chapter four, and do the review questions for homework!" The students all got up and headed for the door. Velvet hid herself in among the mob as she tried to make her way out the door.

"Twilight?" Celestia called. Velvet pretended to not hear her. "Miss Velvet?" Celestia called louder. The students around her parted, exposing her to the teacher. Velvet could not hide. Not without making a scene.

"Yes... Princess?" Velvet asked. Celestia waved her over with her hoof. The rest of the students filed out. Celestia motioned to the seat opposite her. Velvet sat down.

"I just wanted to extend my support for you," Celestia said in her warm, motherly tone. "I know this must be a tumultuous time for you. But I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. I am however, very upset with him."

"With him? Why?" Velvet asked.

"If I had know that he was going to do that to you, I would never have set you up with him! You deserve better. But rest assured, you'll never have to see him again!"

"What!? No! Princess, he-"

"He abandoned you at the Grand Galloping Gala and left with somepony else! A stallion, as I recall. Very unbecoming of a prince."

"Prince?" Velvet asked as the gears whirred in her head. "Oh, Prince Pedigree!"

"Mhmm," Celestia nodded. "I blame myself. I didn't think that he was of the... 'alternative lifestyle'. The signs were all there, but I didn't see them," she said. "Still, he shouldn't have left you alone to get home yourself. But I'm glad that you made it home safely."

"Thank you, Princess. I-"

"I understand that we have Lieutenant Night Light to thank for that," Celestia said. "Even though he was off-duty, he went above and beyond the call to see to it that you were kept safe." Velvet's hazy memory recalled the party in the Guards' room, Night Light holding her legs up and cheering her on while she did a keg-stand. "Every bit an officer and a gentlecolt," Celestia continued. "I knew I made the right choice when I selected him to be assigned to you. Even going so far as to walk you home to your room. I was informed that you two were seen leaving together. And he stood guard at your room the entire night. Such dedication!"

"...Yes. What you just said is exactly what happened," Velvet said. Celestia smiled.

"I just wanted to let you know that there are still plenty of eligible bachelors out there. So don't let the whole 'Prince Pedigree' thing get you down. You'll find the right pony one day."

"...Okay."

"Before you go, have you made your arrangements for the spring season? I know your heat was particularly trying for you last year. Make sure that you get your suppression potion before you need it this time. You don't want to get taken by surprise."

"Right. Thank you. No surprises." Velvet got up and left. She headed out of the school. Night Light stood outside the school entrance waiting for her.

"What did you tell her?" Night asked.

"I didn't," Velvet said.

"Did you change your mind? I mean, about keeping it?"

"No."

"Then you're going to have to tell her."

"Yes. Someday. But not today," she said.

"So what now?" he asked.

"Now? Now we go home."

"And then?"

"And then you're going to guard me until it's time for me to go to bed."

"And then!?"

"And then..." Velvet trailed off. "And then I think I feel a bout of bad dreams coming on. I may need you to stay the night again." She turned and grinned at him. Night smirked.

"Isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place?" he asked.

"True," she admitted, flicking her tail at him. "But it's not like you can get me more pregnant."