"It's funny, isn't it?"
Octavia awoke to those words. Her mind was murky as she rubbed her eye. "What did you say, Vinyl?" she asked, looking at the mare who laid beside her.
"The expression ponies use when talking about thoughts sometimes."
Octavia blinked, pushing away the sleep that cast a cloud over everything. "What?"
"Ponies say, 'It sometimes hits me that...' when they talk about their thoughts." The two-tone blue mane shook side to side a little. Red eyes glittered in the soft light from the moon outside. "To me, in the calm..." She trailed off, seemingly thinking. "...Thoughts just trot up and quietly sit beside me."
Octavia pursed her lips, waiting for Vinyl to continue.
"They remind me of their presence, but they're not threatening me, or getting up in my face. Just... gently letting me know that they're there." A few seconds passed as she paused again. "Questions, memories, or just statements of fact. They don't do anything, really, aside from just... kinda sitting there."
The cellist sighed and gently put a hoof on Vinyl's back, rubbing gentle circles in a distracted sort of effort to comfort. "Vinyl... Are you all right? "
Vinyl shook her head. "I don't know what I'd do without you. If... If you weren't here, I'd just be... Wherever, some alley or another, sitting there and thinking about how alone in the world I am... And, I guess, however bad it would be... I'd be wishing I could meet someone who cared, or... wishing it all could end." She shrugged a little. "You're such a part of my life, sometimes I think about that and realize that without you, I'd be in a lot worse place than I am today." She snorted. "And I'm not talking about you dragging me out of my cardboard box and into this apartment. When..." She paused. "When was that? Five years ago? More? I can't even remember..."
"Vinyl..." Octavia sighed. "You know, you're important to me, too. Without you, my whole life would be naught but practice and performance, and advancing my skill to be the best in all Equestria. I remember when I was... I was at the top. I felt amazing for a while, I'd achieved so much and gotten so far... and then I looked down and realized that the higher you got, the more lonely it was. I didn't know anything but the life I'd been living until I saw you." She traced circles with her hoof. "I saw you, discarded, cast aside. You were at the bottom, the complete opposite of where I was, and yet... You were just as alone as I." She looked away. "When I brought you in, I took a chance, remember? I did something to change my life in a way I could never know beforehoof. And yet all that mattered to me was that I'd brought you in from the life of cardboard boxes."
"Yeah, and don't you remember the flak you got for it? Remember how everypony hated you for it?" Vinyl countered. "You went from the top, your Canterlot Orchestra, to what, odd jobs and music lessons for foals? You? Octavia Melody?" She sighed. "Your life went from class and cash to... shame, poverty... And having to deal with me and all the stress and baggage I came with."
"And when has that ever been a problem?"
"Tavi!" Vinyl angrily swept aside Octavia's mane, exposing the sphere of glass that replaced the cellist's eye. "I drank and I drank, every night, and then that one night, I.... I hurt you." She looked away, letting Octavia's mane fall back into place. "I hurt you real bad."
"Vinyl, you know I don't blame you for that," Octavia protested.
"How can you not? I... I..."
"You didn't know what you were doing." She put her hoof on Vinyl's. "It's not your fault."
"It is..." Vinyl murmured, then sighed. "How the buck did you ever fall for me?"
Octavia smiled, putting her hoof on her marefriend's chest. "You have a good heart, Vinyl. You might not think it, but you do."
"You sure about that?" Vinyl looked into the one good eye Octavia had. "I was a soldier. I killed ponies. I killed foals. Ponies with good hearts don't do that, Octavia."
"You didn't know the enemy would send foals," Octavia reassured her. "And you were a soldier to protect, to keep ponies safe."
"Yeah. By killing everypony that got in the way of that safety." She paused, then looked away. "Sorry, I'm rambling."
Octavia shook her head. "It's alright, Vinyl. You know you can talk to me about it anytime you need it, it's healthy, I don't mind."
Vinyl nodded a bit. "I know... Sorry." She hugged the grey mare. "I love you."
Octavia returned the hug with a smile. "I wub you, too."
Vinyl chuckled a little. "Goof..."
Octavia nodded happily. "Your goof," she corrected.
"My goof." Vinyl tousled Octavia's hair.
"Mmhm." Octavia laid back, stretching a little. "Let's go back to sleep, shall we? You'll feel better in the morning."
Vinyl nodded. "Alright..." She snuggled in, putting a hoof around Octavia. "Thanks." She closed her eyes.
Octavia smiled, gently kissing Vinyl's muzzle. "Of course, love." She closed her eye, letting sleep take her.
Author's Note
I.. I don't know. I was feeling melancholic and I just started writing. It's bad, yeah, I know, but... It is what it is.
