Me, Myself, and Iby JesseBronyChaptersUniverse 1: Jesse and RyanUniverse 2: Friends from time.Universe 4: Lonely P.O.C.Universe 1: Jesse and Ryan"Ryan! I'm stuck in the chimney again!" I yeld down the brick tower into the living room where said human friend was watching pokemon on our flat screen. "So how many times is this now?" My read headed friend asked. "Ugh....I think the 6th time this week." "You know the drill." Ryan said after taking a sip of his mountain dew. "After five times you're on your own." "Come on dude! Help me!" I continued to scream. "Why did you get stuck this time?" Ryan asked. "I was dared by myself." "Yourself?" He asked as another Jesse poked his shoulder. "Sup." "Go to your own dimension Jesse. We have enough clones of you in the basement." Ryan deadpanned. "Fine..." That Jesse opened up a portal with his zipper. "I'll be in chapter 3 if you need me." And with that he was gone. "Er..What?" Ryan asked. "We won't!" I said as i slipped down the chimney. "I made it!" I smiled as I stood covered in sot. "Go take a shower Jesse. You are going to make the house look more dirty than when you had discord throw a party." Ryan pointed towards the stairs. "I still have slime stains in my suit." "Fine. I'll go get clean." I trudged up the stairs making sure to have to have some of the sot to fall off. "Have fun being alone." I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower head. "I prefer baths but a Shower will get get me cleaner." I sniffed myself. "And I smell like that clone that played hide and seek and didn't tell me." I remembered the BBQ we had. Ryan didn't eat any of me but I tried it. "Pinkie was quick to buy it from me." I shot a innocent smile. "Oh well! I don't need to worry about that right now. Bath time!" I stepped into the shower and started to scrub soap into my fur. In an instant, a tentical shot out of the toilet and wrapped itself around my mid section and began to pick me up. "No! Bad Steve! Put me down right now. I need to get clean and I don't need toiled water on me." I gave the toilet a glare and it gurgled and bubbled. (Steve is our pet cracken who lives in the toilet. He keeps it clean and unclogged.) "I don't care if the water is safer than the tap. It is the principle of the matter." The toilet gurgled again and the tentical retreated back to its home. "Good boy. I'll be sure to flush a pair of Ryan's socks for you to snack on." "I heard that!" Ryan yelled from across the hall. "I had to buy three new pairs already! You are not feeding Steve my socks!" "Fine. I won't." I replied. "I will just have to flush a chicken instead." I mumbled as I rinsed off my fur and walked out the door. "Good night Steve." The toilet gurgled happily, and I made my way back to the living room to see it was squeaky clean. "Nice work Ryan." "Thanks. Next time, don't dare yourself to do stupid things." Ryan grumbled as we sat down on the couch. "I just hope nothing bad will happen in the next five seconds." He picked up a near by remote and clicked the big red button. The house began to shake and knocked over my discord lamp. "Awe..." I sighed as the house stopped shaking. "That was the button to release the clones of me." "You mean we have to catch them again?" Ryan asked. "E'yep. You get the butterfly nets and snare traps. I'll get the brisket and the pictures of Fluttershy." I deadpanned. "You are just too much to handle..." Ryan said. "Yeah and there are an infinant number of me's." "God help the multiverse." "Don't worry. I am only the 376th crazy one." I smiled. "Hooray for me..." Ryan groaned. Universe 2: Friends from time.Author's Note This was originally a story by my friend Whova where she used an rp we did to make the story. Jolie and Clocky are time ponies. (Timelords) Universe 2: Friends from time. Jolie sighed as she sat on her bed, she was sick… just with the common cold, plus she was sick and tired of being sick and tired and she hated it. This was the last time she tries to save a hospital with thousands of sick ponies! She really could have just walked away but she knew that's not in her nature to just walk away from ponies that need help, besides she owed Twilight a favor. She used her magic to grab the book Twilight had given her. She read through it before her stomach growled, she was hungry she was going to call for her mate but at that moment the grey pegasus referred too walked into her door carrying a bottle of soup, she smiles weakly “T-ha-nks C-ocky” She called him by his known nickname. He sighed and kisses her forehead. “Love you.” He whispered. “I lo-ve y-ou to-o” She mumbled in between bites out of her soup, he sits down next to her, but she frowned looking up at him. “Care-full you might get s-ick too!” Clockwise laughed and hugged her. “I’m going to take care of you Jolie can't get rid of me.” She laughed before frowning. “Cold” She said looking up at Clockwise with the cutest puppy dogs eyes she could manage, he looked at her for a moment before he let his wing drift over her. She looked at his wing then at him before she face-hoofed laughing. “I meant I wanted a blanket.” “I have one here!” A cheerful male voice sounded from the door, both heads snapped up to see a blue pegasus with a wild green mane and a top hat standing there with a blanket hung on his back. “Jes-se? Th-an-ks, can you bring it over here? Please?” She asked as he walk over draping the blanket over her. “No problemo need anything else?” She shook her head frowning. “Nothing I can think of at the moment.” He smiled and looked up see the all forgotten grey pegasus laying next to Jolie, who looked at the two males. “Oh uh..er.. This is Clockwise...and this is Jesse.” She said as she looked back at them. “Why is he snuggling you?” Jolie looked away from Jesse toying with her necklace clearly avoiding the question, Clockwise just laid there frozen as he looked at the new stallion. “Clocky this is Jesse he is a friend of mine.....Jesse this is Clockwise he is another friend of mine.” She said as she slowly moves away from them both unsure of what would happen next. Clocky spoke first. “Hi…. Jesse…. nice to… er…. meet you.” He said watching the stallion as he lifted his hoof form the plus stallion to shake, oblivious to Jolie sneakily sneaking away from her two friends shivering. Jesse shaked his head before looking at Clocky. “What? OH! I'm sorry I zoned out. Nice to meet you clocky. If you are wondering where Jolie is. She walk out of the room.” He said in a happy voice, Clocky glared at him before looking and finding Jolie actually missing he looked around the room. “I know where she went” Clocky said as he started to walk out the room with a glare. Jesse smiled. “So do I!” pulls out a zipper head and places it on the walk before pulling it to the floor opening the wall up to one of Jolie's secret rooms, they both walk through finding Jolie asleep with her wings and scarf wrapped around her, with her snoring softly. Jesse looked to the grey pegasus. “Shush she is sleeping” He said as he pointed to the sick sleeping alicorn laying in the corner of the room he watched her as she shivered before he walked out, coming back the a pillow and blanket. He placed the pillow under her head carefully so he wouldn't wake her and the blanket over her, she sighed a mumbled something. “Sleep well” Jesse said as he walked out, Clockwise was mentally stabbing him in the back as he left before going over to lay with his mate, he looked back at the door then at the pillow and blanket Jolie had, he quickly stood up and walked out planning to follow the stallion but couldn't find where he went. oOoOoOoOo Jesse came back, carrying a potion. “Jolie?” he looked around seeing her alone on her bed, he walked over handing her a potion. “Here this should help I had to do a lot of things to get the ingredients.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much for me..” He shook his head with a smirk. “Nah, all I did was go to Wal-Mart after I climbed mount Everest, battled a she-demon, and grow a garden.” Jolie let out a small laugh. “I’m too sick to tell if you are joking or not.” “It is me we are talking about.” He laughed. “Yeah I still don't know if you are or not.” “Just drink.” Jesse told her motioning at the potion with his hoof. She sniffed it before drinking it. “EW! That's vile!” Jolie said, as she scrunched her face up in disgust. “It is made of chicken soup, antibiotics, and flu shots.” Jesse said. Jolie looked up in fear. “Ew!” Jesse rolled his eyes. “You already drunk it so quit your complaining.” He took back the bottle, Jolie looked away from him grumbling. Jesse sat down next to her patting her head. “Oh come on. It is working. Isn't it?” He asked. “Yeah…” She said with a little frown. “Then I did a good job!” Jolie rolled her eyes and shivered. “I’m still cold..” Jesse hugs her “Better?” Jolie smiled and nodded. “Much, thank you.” She closed her eyes as they both snuggled closer. “Clocky is going to be so pissed!” Jesse said happily, Jolie made a sour face. “Well he can get over it because he isn’t here to keep me warm and you are so he can sod off.” Jolie rested her head on Jesse's shoulder. “Besides your warm, very very warm.” Jesse moves so he place a blanket over the both of them. She let out a happy sigh as the warmth ran over her body. “You tired?” Jesse asked as he looked over at his friend. “Yes, very very tired and i'm sleep right here and your not aloud to move or I will hurt you, you are my warmth source.” She said as she slowly drifted to sleep. “Well get some sleep no pony is going anywhere untill your better!” Jesse said as the sick mare beside him let the sleep take her. Universe 4: Lonely P.O.C.Author's Note Warning: This is just sad and cringy. Universe 4: Lonely P.O.C. The night was calm. A light drizzle made by the morning weather team was still ongoing. For most ponies, they were snoozing in their bed. For one lone potion maker, he was taking shelter in the local tavern. The blue stallion scowled at the icecubes in his drink. "I said no ice." He glanced at the barkeep. "And I said you need to ease up on the drinks. So we both aren't happy." Berry Punch cleaned a glass in her hooves with a rag. "I am fine! 'Hic' I can go Aaaaaaaaalllll night!" He gripped his drink and gulped it down, the ice falling onto the floor in the process. "Another one!" "No. You have had enough. That was your last drink of the night. Pay up and go home Jesse." Berry frowned and took his glass. "No! Another drink!" He slammed his hoof on the counter, making him wobble and try to get himself steady. "Go home. You are not welcome here anymore. Pay and get out." Berry looked at her bouncer, a large stocky stallion by the name Iron gate. "Or he will buck you out." "Fine! Take your damn bits!" He reached in his top hat and pulled out a bag of bits and just left it on the counter. "I don't need your crummy drinks to get drunk!" He bumped pass the bouncer and stumbled onto the street. "Whick way was my store?... Oh right. Left. Left is always right!" He smiled to himself and, with the grace of a fish on land, made his way down the street. Berry shook her head in disapproval. "That stallion is a train wreck. All because he got rejected." Berry grabbed all 9 empty glasses that were from Jesse and went on business as usual. The drunk stallion fumbled with his keys untill he got it right and stumbled into his potion shop. "Don't need Berry's crapy drinks to make me 'hic' drunk." He went to his work station and got to 'work'. (Foals. Don't drink and make potions.) "A drop of dragon's blood, 3 dashes of poison joke powder, and a cup of rainbow juice. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand done!" He proudly held up the bottle like it was an Item in a video game. "Da da da dun!" He sat against the wall and took a swig. "Oh yeah... That's the 'hic' stuff." (Potion name: The weekend Inibriator. Uses: A strong potion with the effects of alcohol. So strong it can leave you drunk for 3 days if you aren't used to drinking.) He took one swig after another. "Hi ho! I Don't need a mare to fill this hole in my chest! When I have this lovely drink! To make my chest go numb!" He sang as he waved the bottle around, spilling some of it's contents on the floor. He took some more swigs. "I bet she would have been a bitch anyway. It is always the ones you Don't expect. Bitches be crazy! Am I right?" He talked to his reflection on the bottle. Swig. "I don't even like animals..." He grumbled. "Maybe I should try to date one of her freinds?... No. That is stupid. I am the most unattractive stallion in this f#*€ing town..." Swig. "Maybe I should jump off the gorge?... Naw. I am too chicken." Swig. The stallion cries into his hooves. Swig Swig SWIG. "Screw it. I am going to give her a piece of my mind!" He downed the last of his drink, which was almost empty anyway, and headed outside. He didn't make it 10 steps before he tripped and landed in a mud puddle. "Damn it... Now my coat is dir-..." He looked up to see Twilight standing in front of him with an umbrella held in her magic. "I thought I would find you here. Berry told me and said you might be a danger to yourself and others. And judging that you smell like a brewery and can't walk tells my enough." "Nope." He stood up and tried to walk away. "Jesse." "Nope. Nope. Nope." He continued on his way. "Jesse..." "No-" "Jesse!" She grabbed him in her magic. He squirmed, trying to get free. "Listen to me. You need to stop this. It is not healthy. You are killing your liver and your brain." "But it makes my heart feel better." "What were you even going to do just now?" Twilight carried him through the rain. "Non of your business." He fumbled to cross his forehooves. "You were going to bug Fluttershy again weren't you?" "I refuse to 'hic' comment. But yes. I was going to give her a piece of my mind. She broke my heart!" "You bugged her for 3 months and it came to the point her kindness couldn't take it anymore. You are an annoying, self centered, plot hole. I only came because I am in charge of the Ponyville watch. You need to stop being a horrible pony and stallion up and stop drinking. This is your third warning, so I am taking you to the police station to set you straight." She sighed. "There finally said it." "You'll never take me alive coper!" He thumped Twilight's horn causing her to hold her head in pain causing her magic to faultier, allowing Jesse to make a run for it. "Ow! Jesse! Get back here! Just for that I am charging you with assault!" She rubbed her horn before chasing his muddy hoof prints through the outskirts of town. "Jesse?! Where did you go?" The prints went every which way, but she was able to find him at the edge of the gorge. "Jesse. You are drunk. Come peacefully and I won't add evading capture to the list. Jesse backed up not realizing how close he was to the drop. "No. You guys don't understand. I loved her and she rejected me. I never had my eyes set on anyone else." "It's over Jesse. Come over here or I will make you." Twilight's horn started to glow and this spooked Jesse into backing up more and slipping on loose rocks. "Woah!" Before anything could register he was already halfway down the gorge. Twilight ran towards the edge of the cliff to see if she could catch him, but by the time she was about to look over a loud crack echoed against the rocks. "Damn it... That's the 3rd one this year. I can't keep doing this." Just as she said that a portal appeared behind her and stepped out a blue stallion. "Hello. I saw you are in need of a Jesse. May I-" "Go! Get out of here. You are not welcome! And stay away from my friends!" She used her magic to shove the new Jesse back into the portal before closing it. "By Celestia's ass cheeks I hate interdimensional travel." She flew down the gorge to asses the damage and make sure the now dead stallion was properly disposed of.
Universe 1: Jesse and Ryan"Ryan! I'm stuck in the chimney again!" I yeld down the brick tower into the living room where said human friend was watching pokemon on our flat screen. "So how many times is this now?" My read headed friend asked. "Ugh....I think the 6th time this week." "You know the drill." Ryan said after taking a sip of his mountain dew. "After five times you're on your own." "Come on dude! Help me!" I continued to scream. "Why did you get stuck this time?" Ryan asked. "I was dared by myself." "Yourself?" He asked as another Jesse poked his shoulder. "Sup." "Go to your own dimension Jesse. We have enough clones of you in the basement." Ryan deadpanned. "Fine..." That Jesse opened up a portal with his zipper. "I'll be in chapter 3 if you need me." And with that he was gone. "Er..What?" Ryan asked. "We won't!" I said as i slipped down the chimney. "I made it!" I smiled as I stood covered in sot. "Go take a shower Jesse. You are going to make the house look more dirty than when you had discord throw a party." Ryan pointed towards the stairs. "I still have slime stains in my suit." "Fine. I'll go get clean." I trudged up the stairs making sure to have to have some of the sot to fall off. "Have fun being alone." I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower head. "I prefer baths but a Shower will get get me cleaner." I sniffed myself. "And I smell like that clone that played hide and seek and didn't tell me." I remembered the BBQ we had. Ryan didn't eat any of me but I tried it. "Pinkie was quick to buy it from me." I shot a innocent smile. "Oh well! I don't need to worry about that right now. Bath time!" I stepped into the shower and started to scrub soap into my fur. In an instant, a tentical shot out of the toilet and wrapped itself around my mid section and began to pick me up. "No! Bad Steve! Put me down right now. I need to get clean and I don't need toiled water on me." I gave the toilet a glare and it gurgled and bubbled. (Steve is our pet cracken who lives in the toilet. He keeps it clean and unclogged.) "I don't care if the water is safer than the tap. It is the principle of the matter." The toilet gurgled again and the tentical retreated back to its home. "Good boy. I'll be sure to flush a pair of Ryan's socks for you to snack on." "I heard that!" Ryan yelled from across the hall. "I had to buy three new pairs already! You are not feeding Steve my socks!" "Fine. I won't." I replied. "I will just have to flush a chicken instead." I mumbled as I rinsed off my fur and walked out the door. "Good night Steve." The toilet gurgled happily, and I made my way back to the living room to see it was squeaky clean. "Nice work Ryan." "Thanks. Next time, don't dare yourself to do stupid things." Ryan grumbled as we sat down on the couch. "I just hope nothing bad will happen in the next five seconds." He picked up a near by remote and clicked the big red button. The house began to shake and knocked over my discord lamp. "Awe..." I sighed as the house stopped shaking. "That was the button to release the clones of me." "You mean we have to catch them again?" Ryan asked. "E'yep. You get the butterfly nets and snare traps. I'll get the brisket and the pictures of Fluttershy." I deadpanned. "You are just too much to handle..." Ryan said. "Yeah and there are an infinant number of me's." "God help the multiverse." "Don't worry. I am only the 376th crazy one." I smiled. "Hooray for me..." Ryan groaned.
Universe 2: Friends from time.Author's Note This was originally a story by my friend Whova where she used an rp we did to make the story. Jolie and Clocky are time ponies. (Timelords) Universe 2: Friends from time. Jolie sighed as she sat on her bed, she was sick… just with the common cold, plus she was sick and tired of being sick and tired and she hated it. This was the last time she tries to save a hospital with thousands of sick ponies! She really could have just walked away but she knew that's not in her nature to just walk away from ponies that need help, besides she owed Twilight a favor. She used her magic to grab the book Twilight had given her. She read through it before her stomach growled, she was hungry she was going to call for her mate but at that moment the grey pegasus referred too walked into her door carrying a bottle of soup, she smiles weakly “T-ha-nks C-ocky” She called him by his known nickname. He sighed and kisses her forehead. “Love you.” He whispered. “I lo-ve y-ou to-o” She mumbled in between bites out of her soup, he sits down next to her, but she frowned looking up at him. “Care-full you might get s-ick too!” Clockwise laughed and hugged her. “I’m going to take care of you Jolie can't get rid of me.” She laughed before frowning. “Cold” She said looking up at Clockwise with the cutest puppy dogs eyes she could manage, he looked at her for a moment before he let his wing drift over her. She looked at his wing then at him before she face-hoofed laughing. “I meant I wanted a blanket.” “I have one here!” A cheerful male voice sounded from the door, both heads snapped up to see a blue pegasus with a wild green mane and a top hat standing there with a blanket hung on his back. “Jes-se? Th-an-ks, can you bring it over here? Please?” She asked as he walk over draping the blanket over her. “No problemo need anything else?” She shook her head frowning. “Nothing I can think of at the moment.” He smiled and looked up see the all forgotten grey pegasus laying next to Jolie, who looked at the two males. “Oh uh..er.. This is Clockwise...and this is Jesse.” She said as she looked back at them. “Why is he snuggling you?” Jolie looked away from Jesse toying with her necklace clearly avoiding the question, Clockwise just laid there frozen as he looked at the new stallion. “Clocky this is Jesse he is a friend of mine.....Jesse this is Clockwise he is another friend of mine.” She said as she slowly moves away from them both unsure of what would happen next. Clocky spoke first. “Hi…. Jesse…. nice to… er…. meet you.” He said watching the stallion as he lifted his hoof form the plus stallion to shake, oblivious to Jolie sneakily sneaking away from her two friends shivering. Jesse shaked his head before looking at Clocky. “What? OH! I'm sorry I zoned out. Nice to meet you clocky. If you are wondering where Jolie is. She walk out of the room.” He said in a happy voice, Clocky glared at him before looking and finding Jolie actually missing he looked around the room. “I know where she went” Clocky said as he started to walk out the room with a glare. Jesse smiled. “So do I!” pulls out a zipper head and places it on the walk before pulling it to the floor opening the wall up to one of Jolie's secret rooms, they both walk through finding Jolie asleep with her wings and scarf wrapped around her, with her snoring softly. Jesse looked to the grey pegasus. “Shush she is sleeping” He said as he pointed to the sick sleeping alicorn laying in the corner of the room he watched her as she shivered before he walked out, coming back the a pillow and blanket. He placed the pillow under her head carefully so he wouldn't wake her and the blanket over her, she sighed a mumbled something. “Sleep well” Jesse said as he walked out, Clockwise was mentally stabbing him in the back as he left before going over to lay with his mate, he looked back at the door then at the pillow and blanket Jolie had, he quickly stood up and walked out planning to follow the stallion but couldn't find where he went. oOoOoOoOo Jesse came back, carrying a potion. “Jolie?” he looked around seeing her alone on her bed, he walked over handing her a potion. “Here this should help I had to do a lot of things to get the ingredients.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much for me..” He shook his head with a smirk. “Nah, all I did was go to Wal-Mart after I climbed mount Everest, battled a she-demon, and grow a garden.” Jolie let out a small laugh. “I’m too sick to tell if you are joking or not.” “It is me we are talking about.” He laughed. “Yeah I still don't know if you are or not.” “Just drink.” Jesse told her motioning at the potion with his hoof. She sniffed it before drinking it. “EW! That's vile!” Jolie said, as she scrunched her face up in disgust. “It is made of chicken soup, antibiotics, and flu shots.” Jesse said. Jolie looked up in fear. “Ew!” Jesse rolled his eyes. “You already drunk it so quit your complaining.” He took back the bottle, Jolie looked away from him grumbling. Jesse sat down next to her patting her head. “Oh come on. It is working. Isn't it?” He asked. “Yeah…” She said with a little frown. “Then I did a good job!” Jolie rolled her eyes and shivered. “I’m still cold..” Jesse hugs her “Better?” Jolie smiled and nodded. “Much, thank you.” She closed her eyes as they both snuggled closer. “Clocky is going to be so pissed!” Jesse said happily, Jolie made a sour face. “Well he can get over it because he isn’t here to keep me warm and you are so he can sod off.” Jolie rested her head on Jesse's shoulder. “Besides your warm, very very warm.” Jesse moves so he place a blanket over the both of them. She let out a happy sigh as the warmth ran over her body. “You tired?” Jesse asked as he looked over at his friend. “Yes, very very tired and i'm sleep right here and your not aloud to move or I will hurt you, you are my warmth source.” She said as she slowly drifted to sleep. “Well get some sleep no pony is going anywhere untill your better!” Jesse said as the sick mare beside him let the sleep take her.
Universe 4: Lonely P.O.C.Author's Note Warning: This is just sad and cringy. Universe 4: Lonely P.O.C. The night was calm. A light drizzle made by the morning weather team was still ongoing. For most ponies, they were snoozing in their bed. For one lone potion maker, he was taking shelter in the local tavern. The blue stallion scowled at the icecubes in his drink. "I said no ice." He glanced at the barkeep. "And I said you need to ease up on the drinks. So we both aren't happy." Berry Punch cleaned a glass in her hooves with a rag. "I am fine! 'Hic' I can go Aaaaaaaaalllll night!" He gripped his drink and gulped it down, the ice falling onto the floor in the process. "Another one!" "No. You have had enough. That was your last drink of the night. Pay up and go home Jesse." Berry frowned and took his glass. "No! Another drink!" He slammed his hoof on the counter, making him wobble and try to get himself steady. "Go home. You are not welcome here anymore. Pay and get out." Berry looked at her bouncer, a large stocky stallion by the name Iron gate. "Or he will buck you out." "Fine! Take your damn bits!" He reached in his top hat and pulled out a bag of bits and just left it on the counter. "I don't need your crummy drinks to get drunk!" He bumped pass the bouncer and stumbled onto the street. "Whick way was my store?... Oh right. Left. Left is always right!" He smiled to himself and, with the grace of a fish on land, made his way down the street. Berry shook her head in disapproval. "That stallion is a train wreck. All because he got rejected." Berry grabbed all 9 empty glasses that were from Jesse and went on business as usual. The drunk stallion fumbled with his keys untill he got it right and stumbled into his potion shop. "Don't need Berry's crapy drinks to make me 'hic' drunk." He went to his work station and got to 'work'. (Foals. Don't drink and make potions.) "A drop of dragon's blood, 3 dashes of poison joke powder, and a cup of rainbow juice. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand done!" He proudly held up the bottle like it was an Item in a video game. "Da da da dun!" He sat against the wall and took a swig. "Oh yeah... That's the 'hic' stuff." (Potion name: The weekend Inibriator. Uses: A strong potion with the effects of alcohol. So strong it can leave you drunk for 3 days if you aren't used to drinking.) He took one swig after another. "Hi ho! I Don't need a mare to fill this hole in my chest! When I have this lovely drink! To make my chest go numb!" He sang as he waved the bottle around, spilling some of it's contents on the floor. He took some more swigs. "I bet she would have been a bitch anyway. It is always the ones you Don't expect. Bitches be crazy! Am I right?" He talked to his reflection on the bottle. Swig. "I don't even like animals..." He grumbled. "Maybe I should try to date one of her freinds?... No. That is stupid. I am the most unattractive stallion in this f#*€ing town..." Swig. "Maybe I should jump off the gorge?... Naw. I am too chicken." Swig. The stallion cries into his hooves. Swig Swig SWIG. "Screw it. I am going to give her a piece of my mind!" He downed the last of his drink, which was almost empty anyway, and headed outside. He didn't make it 10 steps before he tripped and landed in a mud puddle. "Damn it... Now my coat is dir-..." He looked up to see Twilight standing in front of him with an umbrella held in her magic. "I thought I would find you here. Berry told me and said you might be a danger to yourself and others. And judging that you smell like a brewery and can't walk tells my enough." "Nope." He stood up and tried to walk away. "Jesse." "Nope. Nope. Nope." He continued on his way. "Jesse..." "No-" "Jesse!" She grabbed him in her magic. He squirmed, trying to get free. "Listen to me. You need to stop this. It is not healthy. You are killing your liver and your brain." "But it makes my heart feel better." "What were you even going to do just now?" Twilight carried him through the rain. "Non of your business." He fumbled to cross his forehooves. "You were going to bug Fluttershy again weren't you?" "I refuse to 'hic' comment. But yes. I was going to give her a piece of my mind. She broke my heart!" "You bugged her for 3 months and it came to the point her kindness couldn't take it anymore. You are an annoying, self centered, plot hole. I only came because I am in charge of the Ponyville watch. You need to stop being a horrible pony and stallion up and stop drinking. This is your third warning, so I am taking you to the police station to set you straight." She sighed. "There finally said it." "You'll never take me alive coper!" He thumped Twilight's horn causing her to hold her head in pain causing her magic to faultier, allowing Jesse to make a run for it. "Ow! Jesse! Get back here! Just for that I am charging you with assault!" She rubbed her horn before chasing his muddy hoof prints through the outskirts of town. "Jesse?! Where did you go?" The prints went every which way, but she was able to find him at the edge of the gorge. "Jesse. You are drunk. Come peacefully and I won't add evading capture to the list. Jesse backed up not realizing how close he was to the drop. "No. You guys don't understand. I loved her and she rejected me. I never had my eyes set on anyone else." "It's over Jesse. Come over here or I will make you." Twilight's horn started to glow and this spooked Jesse into backing up more and slipping on loose rocks. "Woah!" Before anything could register he was already halfway down the gorge. Twilight ran towards the edge of the cliff to see if she could catch him, but by the time she was about to look over a loud crack echoed against the rocks. "Damn it... That's the 3rd one this year. I can't keep doing this." Just as she said that a portal appeared behind her and stepped out a blue stallion. "Hello. I saw you are in need of a Jesse. May I-" "Go! Get out of here. You are not welcome! And stay away from my friends!" She used her magic to shove the new Jesse back into the portal before closing it. "By Celestia's ass cheeks I hate interdimensional travel." She flew down the gorge to asses the damage and make sure the now dead stallion was properly disposed of.
