The Drifterby Psychotic SilenceChaptersJust a DrifterDown "The Rabbit Hole"Why did you read this?Teaser!Just a Drifter*THUD-THUD-THUD* The sound of my boots hitting the concrete floor of the metro tunnel was almost deafening. Almost. The only sound that was louder was the sound laughter from up ahead at the station. I looked down at my rifle; a custom black assault rifle with a carbon black stock, an ACOG scope, and a silencer. I opened the rifles chamber slightly and saw the faded, dull color of a 5.56mm round. I dropped into a crouch as the lights from the station became brighter. The noise from its inhabitants was amplified by the tunnel making it harder to locate them by sound leaving me to use eyes only. I passed over a pile of rubble slouched against a train and came face to face with a raider, the retarded psycho-tic bag mask muffling his alarmed cries enough to not be noticeable. “Who the fuck are y-” I quickly stuffed a black trench knife into his throat, his gags also muffled by the bag/mask. I wiped the blood from the blade, and my knuckles, onto his worn out leather pants, the cracked material barely managing to soak up the blood. I continued into the station careful not to make the same mistake I made previously. I carefully moved onto the escalator, my rifle pointed up towards the top in case someone decided to search for the dead raider. Thankfully the escalator was completely ruined and with a couple of centuries of mistreatment it didn’t even wiggle. “So did you hear? There’s some goodie two shoes from one of those vaults. From what I hear he attacked the mills. Unleashed the behemoth and then ran away. Cowardly prick.” Said a raider who was sitting at a campfire next to another raider. Both had their backs to me and I used this opportunity to sneak past them towards the exit. I crept past them and up onto the ramp that lead to the exit. “Yeah, from what I hear he uses one of those flasma guns or whatever. Those things scare me. I heard they turn you into goo. My buddy Dart knew this guy who had a run in with those Enclave freaks….” Whatever story the other raider was going to tell became too distant to hear as I slowly opened to metro gate and walked up the stairs of Anacostia Crossing. As I moved out of the shadows the moonlight illuminated me showing yet another unique feature. My armor is a variant of the elite riot armor that is in perfect condition. It is pure white with a black trench coat. The helmet was also white with purple eyes. Sadly the helmet took damage from a sniper round and was currently put away in my Pip-boy 3000A which was situated on my left forearm and had the lights removed from the buttons to maximize stealth. I looked up towards the air craft carrier that dominated my vision. I could just barely see a rifle barrel sticking out from the command tower, its sights trained on the walkway extended from the starboard (right) side of the ship. I walked around to the ramp passing a caravan ran by a man in a yellow red racer jumpsuit. “Best weapons in the capital wasteland! Why don’t you take a gander?” he called out. “I’d rather not.” I returned, annoyance dripping from my words. I am definitely not in the mood, but I never am after a long walk through the creepiest place in the capital wasteland besides the Dunwich building. I walked up the ramp and across the ramp, a vagrant asking me for water as I passed. Of course I ignored him as well because I’m in a dickish mood. “What’s your purpose of coming to Rivet City?” questioned a muscular, obviously experienced man who stood right in the entryway to the city/ship. “I am going to browse the markets for the supplies necessary to repair my helmet. If there is a proper repair man available I’ll just get him or her to do it though.” He stared at me for a little bit, obviously sizing me up and thinking about the validity of my claim. “You’re going to have to wait because the market is closed.” He said before turning towards the entrance to greet the merchant in the yellow jumpsuit who gave me a cautious look. I opened the door to the left and went to the door across the stairwell that was labeled the Weatherly Hotel. I walked down the hall and came upon a well decorated room with a Mr. Handy sitting behind the counter. “How may I help you sir?” it said in a stereotypical British butler accent. “Could I get a room?” I walked up to the counter and set my elbows on it. “Of course! That will cost you 120 caps though.” He returned, pointing towards a hole in the counter where I am supposed to deposit my caps. I did that and he gave me a key that I took down the hall to the room number that was on the key. I threw my trench coat off and took the rest of my body armor off, leaving me in a black BDU shirt and pants combo. I looked at myself in a mirror situated in the corner and flexed. ‘I’m a sexy beast!’ I thought as I ran a hand through my short red hair and let my longer bangs fall down carelessly. I jumped onto the bed like it was the best thing in the world, which it was. I relished in the ability to sleep in such a fine bed and for a good twenty minutes I just lay there and stared at the gunmetal grey ceiling. To most that kind of material would be anything but soothing but to me it was the greatest thing on the planet, that is to be expected of someone who grew up in a Brotherhood bunker. ________________________________________________________________________ *Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!* The sound of my pip boy alarm woke me up. I looked down at my wrist mounted computer and saw the time. 10:23 AM “Let’s hope the market is open” I said to myself as I strapped on my shoulder pads. I felt along the left pad, reveling in the smooth and hard material. I love my stuff. When I finished admiring my outfit I walked out and went back to the stairwell and out the door that lead to the outside. I took a right and opened the market door. My senses where bombarded right when I opened the door. I could hear lots of people haggling or just simply chatting, I could smell food from across the hanger, and I could taste the chems in the air that was wafting from a shop across from the restaurant. I walked through and turned into a stall labeled as Flak ‘n Shrapnel’s. “Welcome to Flak and Shrapnel’s! What do you?” asked a bald man with a chopper mustache. “Actually,” I said as the helmet materialized in my left hand. “I need to get this repaired. I will pay extra for perfection.” He took the helmet and started to inspect the dent that came from the sniper rifle. “This is gonna be spendy if you want perfection but I can do it. Let’s say 800 caps?” he said, his eyes not leaving the dent. “Done, although I’ll add 200 if you can finish it before midnight.” I said as I set the caps on the counter where the man took them and stuffed them in a cash register. *Grumble* We both stared at each for a second before he laughed lightly and shook his head. "I hope I didn't just rob your food money." he said, a crooked smile showing as he walked away from the cash register and over to a workbench that had numerous repair tools lying about. I offered a light smile in return and left, the restaurant sounding suddenly being my objective. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I woke up the next morning with a knock on my hotel door. "Hey sir! If you want to stay another night you need to pay!" Said a female voice who I could only guess is an employee. I opened the door and was greeted with the sight of a well-dressed woman with immaculate hair. “No, I’ll leave after I get dressed.” With that I slammed the door in her face and turned to put my armor on. I put all the plates on and rolled my shoulders, the extra weight comforting and familiar. After finishing my daily routine of an MRE, brushing my teeth, and an impromptu shave in a public bathroom, I quickly went back to the market where everyone was milling about or trading. Seeing how late in the morning it is and how slow things are going I could only guess how much luxury these merchants lived in. I went to the restaurant, Garry’s galley from what I learned last night. From there I grabbed a bowl of squirrel stew and a bottle of water. I know I already ate but… Fuck you. After I finished eating I left, leaving twenty caps in Garry’s hand. From there I went to Flak ‘n Shrapnel’s to retrieve my helmet. He put it into my hand without a word, which was okay because he had other customers and time is money couldn’t be truer. After that I left Rivet city, the asshole guard giving me a wary glance as he cradled a Chinese assault rifle in his arms. This time I was moving out to the Jefferson Memorial to assist the Brotherhood with whatever they needed. As I neared the super mutant camp that sat near the road where those Shrek cos-players could easily attack caravans. Of course David (the lone wanderer) and Sydney cleared that base out last month after they harassed a caravan that they both invested a lot of money in. Now though, it’s just a rotten sty full of human remains stuffed into bags and, for some reason, ammo that seems to keep appearing in the boxes set on the overlook in the heart of the camp. I made my way up the hill and my riot helmet failed to filter out the smell of decay and gore. I walked up to the base of the ramp and stopped. There at the base of the ramp was a small manhole marked with an X. There was a hole blown in the side that was closest to the ramp and a chunk of a large intestine was draped into the hole like some weird bait. Of course me, being the curious idiot, took a metal pole from the ground nearby and stuck into the hole and lifted up the lid without having to touch rotten intestines. I threw the pole aside without care and pointed my assault rifle down the hole cautiously. My helmet automatically turned on its low-light vision ability, which would’ve made life easier last night in the metro tunnels. Sadly the darkness was impenetrable and I moved in for a closer look. Right as I began to move my foot got caught in my trench coat leading to a much undignified dance and ultimately me falling into the hole. Down "The Rabbit Hole"The hole I fell through somehow dumped me in the middle of a dense forest with incredibly dangerous trees. You might be wondering how a tree can look dangerous and I’ll tell you, it has a fucking creepy face carved into the bark. I neared back slightly and lifted my right arm which was clutching my assault rifle and pointed it at the tree. I then proceeded to fire every shot into that ugly face until it somehow popped out of existence. “Huh?” I said to myself, completely aware of the weird trip I just had. “There must be some chemical in the air?” I looked around in an attempt to find whatever was causing the weird hallucination. I saw a bit of blue hidden slightly behind a tree so I cautiously moved around the tree whilst maintaining a good distance. “That’s fucking weird?” I again said to myself upon finding the blue flowers clumped together. Blue flowers in the middle of a dark forest definitely spells weird trips so I turned and left. I already had a good number of jet and psycho to choose from anyway. I noticed a colorful bird frantically flying east. Well that’s my heading. I started to follow the flying frantic feather fucker until I realized something. “BRAINFART!” I shouted as I span around and came face to face with a large dog. This thing was massive. It was twice the size of Dogmeat and here is the big thing. IT’S MADE OF FUCKING WOOD! It didn’t look like a mutant which was also weird and there was green goo coming out of its mouth. Thank god that stuff isn’t radioactive because if it was I would’ve flipped shit, my fear of becoming a ghoul making me horde radaways and rad-x. The weird wooden wolf cautiously moved towards me, its steps the loudest thing in the forest. I raised my assault rifle and pulled the trigger, only to be met by a shallow click telling me it was empty. “FUCK!” I half whined half yelled. I emptied the fucking mag into that fucking tree! I must’ve gotten distracted by the prospect of hallucinogen. The wolf pounced at me and I did the only thing I could do in that situation. I chucked my rifle at it and disrupted the pounce giving me enough time to pull my pistol, a Glock .45 auto, from my pip-boy and aim it. The action of aiming, of course, was longer than expected and I was met with its jaws clamped right onto my left leg. Its teeth dug into my calf and I did the only thing I could do in that situation, besides calling it a bitch. I shot it right in the eye socket. It crumpled in on itself and fell apart on the ground looking like a pile of sticks in the middle of the woods that had someone get turned to goo right on top of it, since the things was filled with glowing green sap. I fell on my ass right next to it, my leg hurting a lot and if I were to move just right I could feel a tooth moving around under the skin. “TIMBER WOLVES! I FUCKING GET IT NOW! AHAHAHAHA!” ________________________________________________________________________ I sat in that spot for an hour patching my leg up and giving it the magical mystery cure. A stim-pack! Those things have saved my life more than any other chem and that’s why I have never been in short supply of them, perks of looting every military establishment I could find. After my skin grew together again I stood up, my fully loaded assault rifle in hand (because I triple checked that shit) and a lot more positive outlook since I could see the light shining through the trees to the east. I walked out into the light and looked around. To say the land was beautiful would be an understatement. There was a house nearby with a stream passing in front of it with a path leading to a bridge on the banks of the previously mentioned river. The path lead on past me and branched off a good hundred feet away. One path lead off into a large town in the distance and the other one lead into the- “Ohforfuckssake.” I said under my breath as I followed the path into the forest that I had just fought out of. There was a fucking path not even a hundred feet away and I took a bite from a- snrk- timber wolf, trying to escape. I began to walk up the path, my eyes resting on the large mountain nearby that had a huge fucking castle stuck to its side. “Well that’s fucking cool.” I said to myself as I studied it’s every groove as it fit against the mountain. ________________________________________________________________________ POV: Twilight Sparkle- Hay n’ Pay restraint- Interior of Ponyville “-And I said oatmeal? ARE YOU CRAZY!” said my friend PinkiePie as she finished her absurd story that is always told when she want to be silly. I nodded like I understood, just like each of my friends, and continued to focus on my hunger. “That pegasus better hurry if she knows what’s good for her.” Said my other friend Rarity in her usual dramatic style. “I’d like it if she hurried as well, but I don’t mind.” Voiced the quiet FlutterShy, her face partially obscured behind her silky pink hair. “Well I reckon she’ll be here right quick, what with all the work she did last night with all those clouds.” Came the casual reply of Applejack as she sat comfortably in her chair. “If she doesn’t get here soon we will order without her.” I stated. I haven’t eaten all day since I’ve been studying local plants. Everyone nodded in agreement, Fluttershy included because she isn’t brave enough to voice her thoughts. She has always, and I mean this in the best of ways, been a doormat. “I know you want to wait but we are really hungry.” I said, “Maybe this time Rainbow will realize that she should at least try to show up on-” Anything else I was going to say was stopped as a panting Rainbow darted up to the table, her sweat dripping off onto it. “Rainbow dear, please go shower, we’ll order you something but you mustn’t smell so gross at lunch, in public no less.” Asked Rarity, her rage concealed behind her urge to stay lady-like. “NO TIME! There is a weird robot on its way to Ponyville. It walks on two hooves and is covered with white plates and has purple eyes! We have to stop it from invading” she blurted out and took off again, leaving us confused but ready to help. ________________________________________________________________________ Vincent Mills- Unknown town- surrounded by weird mini horses- Panicking I’ve taken maybe twenty steps into this town and am already ready to leave. There are tons of small multicolored creatures in the streets, their eyes wide and legs trembling. I navigated further into town, my curiosity winning over my sense of self preservation. I also observed the creatures. They looked like a living version of Giddy-up Buttercup leading me to believe that they are horses, or at least a sub species of a horse. I neared an old cart when a scratchy female voice finally broke the silence. “Hey robot!” I turned around and came face to fa- snout with a cyan horse hovering on disproportionate wings. ‘Heh, it’d be funny if the horse was the one talking’ I thought to myself as it gave me an oddly intelligent glare. “Get out!” said the horse; or Pegasus because I’ve read enough old Greek mythology to know what a winged horse is. I stared my jaw slamming into the bottom of my face mask. ‘What the fuck it actually talks! This is fucking trippy! Maybe that blue flower actually fucked me up more than originally thought. Maybe I just stumbled into a random settlement completely shit-faced!’ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Rainbow “Daring” Dash- Ponyville interior- Near Robot spy ninja monster creature/ Auizhotols’ sidekick The monster stood there, its creepy face drifting and studying me as if I was the weirdest thing ever. ‘BUCK YOU!’ Nopony thinks of me as weird, especially not some robot that looks like an insect- “CHANGELING!” I screamed and promptly bucked it in the chest with enough force to send it into the cart that it was previously staring at. The old cart didn’t stand a chance against a kick from the mighty Rainbow Dash. I turned and struck a pose as the ponies around me clapped in approval of my mighty feat and awesome style. This lasted for only a minute before there were sounds of wood being moved as the thing buried in it stirred. “Aw fuck that horse packs a punch!” Something masculine whined from the pile of rubble. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Vincent Mills- In pile of wood- ready to gut a small horse/ trying to get small pieces of wood out of ass crack Right before that fucking horse kicked me into the cart it shouted something. Too bad I was too dumbstruck to hear it because it was probably important (maybe a plot advancement) and now I’m lying in a pile of wooden debris trying to get an annoying piece of wood out from the back of my pants without looking gross. ‘This just isn’t my day?’ “Aw fuck that horse packs a punch!” I whined, it was a manly whine by the way. Why did you read this?I stood up and wiped the wood bits off of my chest plate. I could hear the little horses around me panicking like I was going to kill them all. ‘No, I only want that little rainbow fuck nugget.’ I smiled as I looked up at her. She wasn’t smiling though. ‘She looks pissed off.’ The little rainbow colored pony was glaring at me like I had killed her parents or eaten her spaghetti-o’s. ‘I’ll do both.’ I began to laugh at the mental image of me crushing two multi colored ponies under my boots while I ate a can of spaghetti-o’s that had a note on it labeled Fuck Nugget. The little Pegasus looked dumbstruck for a minute, or five, but she snapped out of it and was instantly more pissed off. I couldn’t help but laugh harder. These things look dumb when they get mad. ________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Rainbow “Daring” Dash- Ponyville interior- Near Robot spy ninja monster creature/ Ahuizotl sidekick- About to kick its flank The evil beast stood there and laughed at me. Its weird hoof things resting on its leg joints supporting its massive weight because it is so heavy. “How dare you laugh at the great Rainbow Dash? I’ll kick your flank in ten seconds flat!!!” With that I leapt at the creature, its massive body making an easy target. *Whoosh!!-* I flew right into the creatures’ chest, my front legs pointed ahead and my eyes closed. Right when I expected to collide with it I felt something grab the base of my wings, hard, and throw me to the ground. “Ok chicken mcfuck nuggets, lay down before I crush your wind pipe.” Said a cheerful male voice behind me. I would look but I am distracted by pai- the strange sensation in my wings. “RAINBOW!!!” ________________________________________________________________________ POV: Vincent Mills- Inside weird town- Getting ready to eat McDonald’s food. “RAINBOW!!” “I don’t swing that way but I do swing this way!!” I yelled as I swung the small horse at the approaching horse. This one was orange and wearing a small cowboy hat. The cyan one collided with the orange on so hard it knocked both into a small building nearby, the tiny hat floating to the ground in front of me. “Meh, it was an ugly hat anyway.” I said as I focused on five more little horses who were brave enough to get close. One of these horses was actually pretty big compared to everything else. It had a bulky, muscular build indicating that it is a male. He was very pissed and was moving faster than the rest of the horses. “Hey Blondie. What’s eating at you?” I asked as he charged. Unlike the Fuck nugget (that is going to stick like glue or a sweaty latex gimp suit….) this one didn’t have wings and put more muscle into the charge instead of speed. He also didn’t superman fly at my chest with his eyes closed which showed that natural selection would favor this guy. I don’t though so I shall do the unspeakable. As he got closer, I pulled a double barrel out of my pip boy and held it up. *BANG!* The sound of my weapon halted blondie and snapped fuck nugget and her orange friend out of their daze. I had the stage and the mic and all eyes were on me. “Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This…is my boomstick!” I shouted into the horde of horses. “It’s a 12 gauge double barreled dragon’s breath shotgun. Gun Runners top of the line. You can find this in the Hub or near New Vegas. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in the Mojave Desert. Retails about 700-1500 caps. It’s got walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and…” I stopped ranting and looked around. All the horses were confused. Good, I love the confusion. “You know what? You guys aren’t even worth my breath.” With that I turned and started to walk towards the giant tree in the center of town. The tree had a sign with a book on it and I decided to go info hunting because this obviously meant library. If I couldn’t find that then I’d just cause some mischief. It’s not like those ponies are going to do anything about my poor behavior. “Unknown creature! Please halt in the name of the princesses!” came a commanding shout from somewhere behind me. I turned towards it and saw a mob of white ponies with golden armor on, their swords and spears reflecting light everywhere making them look shiny. “Hey, I was wondering if there was a color supremacy group out here. I guess I was right.” I said to the group as they surrounded me. “Creature! You’re under arrest under the name of Princess Celestia for the assault of two Elements of Harmony. Please lay down and roll over, hooves in the air.” “Usually when a group of people surround a white person they have an opposite skin color and it leads into some gang rape punchline. After I kill you can I sell your armor or is it useless.” I around trying to find the most nervous of the group. Out of the group of ten, one who sat right behind me looked the most nervous. He had a spear and a helmet that looked a size too big. Probably a rookie. I opened my pip-boy and pulled out my assault rifle. All the guards braced, preparing for the loud noise. I took aim at the rookie and… *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK* I fired off three rounds. One in the throat, one in the fore head to knock him over, and one in the sack. The whole thing took around five seconds but that’s all it took to scare away almost every guard but the commander. He stood there yelling at his fleeing soldiers, fear and betrayal evident in his eyes. I stood in the middle of the street, the gunshots echo just quieting down and the commander’s eyes leveling on me. His eyes went to the bloody corpse, to me, back to the corpse, and then to me. “Hey!” I shouted. Breaking him out of his neck breaking exercise. “My eyes are up here.” __________________________________________________________________________ POV: Princess Celestia- On a carriage on route to pony Ville following the appearance of a strange creature *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK* The strange and loud noise snapped me out of my thoughts as my personal transport flew towards Pony Ville. The town was apparently being attacked by a weird creature who was described as being a rude robot ninja with a boomstick. It is also worth mentioning that this creature assaulted Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack. “Ma’am? Are you ok?” asked a polite male voice from across the carriage. “I am quite alright Captain Armor. I just have a lot to think about. Thank you for your concerns.” I returned, looking at Shining Armor as he fiddled with his seat belt. “So what are the guards in Pony Ville doing about the creature?” I asked “I told them to try to pacify the creature ma’am.” he returned. “I certainly hope they are capable.” “Ma’am, my guards are completely capable of pacifying some Everfree refuse.” He said, anger evident in his voice. “I don’t doubt your guards Captain Armor. I just don’t know the strength of the creature.” I assured him With that the carriage began to lower onto an empty street. ‘Well, almost empty’ In the center of street stood the creature, and at his sides were two guards. The first one was beaten into a pulp and the other one was…DEAD! _____________________________________________________ POV: Hunter: Sitting on his ass typing a word document about monsters and small horses She is pissed. “Yeah silly, he did hurt a guard, Dashie, and Applejack!” said an annoying pink pony. “I’m not annoying.” Yes you are. Check it out! I can talk in your language too!!! “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” What the Fuck! HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP MMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! ____________________________________________ POV: Vincent Mills: Inside unknown town- Beating a dead horse “I smell a fourth wall break.” I said, its confusing aroma in the air. Coffee, sweat, and…Halibut. “Do you smell that?” “What are you rambling about foul creature?” said the thoroughly beaten war horse at my feet. The small horse kept trying to stand up. Too bad for him I lack any basic moral fiber. “Down boy.” Said as I punted him like a football. Due to his weight he didn’t go far. “Ow, I keep forgetting that you’re wearing golden armor. My poor feet…” I noticed that he had landed on the dead rookie and said rookie also had a large spear lying next to him. “I’ll send you to Tartarus where you belong creature!” said the guard as he sprinted at me with an unknown strength. “Although I do love tar-tar sauce, I must decline. I have more pressing matters than food.” I returned, my arms raising into a weird praying mantis stance. The guard began to get close and as he got within ten feet I began my internal mantra. ‘Just like the holo-vids. Just like the holo-vids.’ When he got within five feet I picked my foot from the ground and brought my knee to my chest. “Praying mantis kick!!!” “HALT CREATURE! DON’T YOU DARE HARM ANOTHER ONE OF MY PONIES!!!” Teaser!Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Just a Drifter*THUD-THUD-THUD* The sound of my boots hitting the concrete floor of the metro tunnel was almost deafening. Almost. The only sound that was louder was the sound laughter from up ahead at the station. I looked down at my rifle; a custom black assault rifle with a carbon black stock, an ACOG scope, and a silencer. I opened the rifles chamber slightly and saw the faded, dull color of a 5.56mm round. I dropped into a crouch as the lights from the station became brighter. The noise from its inhabitants was amplified by the tunnel making it harder to locate them by sound leaving me to use eyes only. I passed over a pile of rubble slouched against a train and came face to face with a raider, the retarded psycho-tic bag mask muffling his alarmed cries enough to not be noticeable. “Who the fuck are y-” I quickly stuffed a black trench knife into his throat, his gags also muffled by the bag/mask. I wiped the blood from the blade, and my knuckles, onto his worn out leather pants, the cracked material barely managing to soak up the blood. I continued into the station careful not to make the same mistake I made previously. I carefully moved onto the escalator, my rifle pointed up towards the top in case someone decided to search for the dead raider. Thankfully the escalator was completely ruined and with a couple of centuries of mistreatment it didn’t even wiggle. “So did you hear? There’s some goodie two shoes from one of those vaults. From what I hear he attacked the mills. Unleashed the behemoth and then ran away. Cowardly prick.” Said a raider who was sitting at a campfire next to another raider. Both had their backs to me and I used this opportunity to sneak past them towards the exit. I crept past them and up onto the ramp that lead to the exit. “Yeah, from what I hear he uses one of those flasma guns or whatever. Those things scare me. I heard they turn you into goo. My buddy Dart knew this guy who had a run in with those Enclave freaks….” Whatever story the other raider was going to tell became too distant to hear as I slowly opened to metro gate and walked up the stairs of Anacostia Crossing. As I moved out of the shadows the moonlight illuminated me showing yet another unique feature. My armor is a variant of the elite riot armor that is in perfect condition. It is pure white with a black trench coat. The helmet was also white with purple eyes. Sadly the helmet took damage from a sniper round and was currently put away in my Pip-boy 3000A which was situated on my left forearm and had the lights removed from the buttons to maximize stealth. I looked up towards the air craft carrier that dominated my vision. I could just barely see a rifle barrel sticking out from the command tower, its sights trained on the walkway extended from the starboard (right) side of the ship. I walked around to the ramp passing a caravan ran by a man in a yellow red racer jumpsuit. “Best weapons in the capital wasteland! Why don’t you take a gander?” he called out. “I’d rather not.” I returned, annoyance dripping from my words. I am definitely not in the mood, but I never am after a long walk through the creepiest place in the capital wasteland besides the Dunwich building. I walked up the ramp and across the ramp, a vagrant asking me for water as I passed. Of course I ignored him as well because I’m in a dickish mood. “What’s your purpose of coming to Rivet City?” questioned a muscular, obviously experienced man who stood right in the entryway to the city/ship. “I am going to browse the markets for the supplies necessary to repair my helmet. If there is a proper repair man available I’ll just get him or her to do it though.” He stared at me for a little bit, obviously sizing me up and thinking about the validity of my claim. “You’re going to have to wait because the market is closed.” He said before turning towards the entrance to greet the merchant in the yellow jumpsuit who gave me a cautious look. I opened the door to the left and went to the door across the stairwell that was labeled the Weatherly Hotel. I walked down the hall and came upon a well decorated room with a Mr. Handy sitting behind the counter. “How may I help you sir?” it said in a stereotypical British butler accent. “Could I get a room?” I walked up to the counter and set my elbows on it. “Of course! That will cost you 120 caps though.” He returned, pointing towards a hole in the counter where I am supposed to deposit my caps. I did that and he gave me a key that I took down the hall to the room number that was on the key. I threw my trench coat off and took the rest of my body armor off, leaving me in a black BDU shirt and pants combo. I looked at myself in a mirror situated in the corner and flexed. ‘I’m a sexy beast!’ I thought as I ran a hand through my short red hair and let my longer bangs fall down carelessly. I jumped onto the bed like it was the best thing in the world, which it was. I relished in the ability to sleep in such a fine bed and for a good twenty minutes I just lay there and stared at the gunmetal grey ceiling. To most that kind of material would be anything but soothing but to me it was the greatest thing on the planet, that is to be expected of someone who grew up in a Brotherhood bunker. ________________________________________________________________________ *Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!* The sound of my pip boy alarm woke me up. I looked down at my wrist mounted computer and saw the time. 10:23 AM “Let’s hope the market is open” I said to myself as I strapped on my shoulder pads. I felt along the left pad, reveling in the smooth and hard material. I love my stuff. When I finished admiring my outfit I walked out and went back to the stairwell and out the door that lead to the outside. I took a right and opened the market door. My senses where bombarded right when I opened the door. I could hear lots of people haggling or just simply chatting, I could smell food from across the hanger, and I could taste the chems in the air that was wafting from a shop across from the restaurant. I walked through and turned into a stall labeled as Flak ‘n Shrapnel’s. “Welcome to Flak and Shrapnel’s! What do you?” asked a bald man with a chopper mustache. “Actually,” I said as the helmet materialized in my left hand. “I need to get this repaired. I will pay extra for perfection.” He took the helmet and started to inspect the dent that came from the sniper rifle. “This is gonna be spendy if you want perfection but I can do it. Let’s say 800 caps?” he said, his eyes not leaving the dent. “Done, although I’ll add 200 if you can finish it before midnight.” I said as I set the caps on the counter where the man took them and stuffed them in a cash register. *Grumble* We both stared at each for a second before he laughed lightly and shook his head. "I hope I didn't just rob your food money." he said, a crooked smile showing as he walked away from the cash register and over to a workbench that had numerous repair tools lying about. I offered a light smile in return and left, the restaurant sounding suddenly being my objective. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I woke up the next morning with a knock on my hotel door. "Hey sir! If you want to stay another night you need to pay!" Said a female voice who I could only guess is an employee. I opened the door and was greeted with the sight of a well-dressed woman with immaculate hair. “No, I’ll leave after I get dressed.” With that I slammed the door in her face and turned to put my armor on. I put all the plates on and rolled my shoulders, the extra weight comforting and familiar. After finishing my daily routine of an MRE, brushing my teeth, and an impromptu shave in a public bathroom, I quickly went back to the market where everyone was milling about or trading. Seeing how late in the morning it is and how slow things are going I could only guess how much luxury these merchants lived in. I went to the restaurant, Garry’s galley from what I learned last night. From there I grabbed a bowl of squirrel stew and a bottle of water. I know I already ate but… Fuck you. After I finished eating I left, leaving twenty caps in Garry’s hand. From there I went to Flak ‘n Shrapnel’s to retrieve my helmet. He put it into my hand without a word, which was okay because he had other customers and time is money couldn’t be truer. After that I left Rivet city, the asshole guard giving me a wary glance as he cradled a Chinese assault rifle in his arms. This time I was moving out to the Jefferson Memorial to assist the Brotherhood with whatever they needed. As I neared the super mutant camp that sat near the road where those Shrek cos-players could easily attack caravans. Of course David (the lone wanderer) and Sydney cleared that base out last month after they harassed a caravan that they both invested a lot of money in. Now though, it’s just a rotten sty full of human remains stuffed into bags and, for some reason, ammo that seems to keep appearing in the boxes set on the overlook in the heart of the camp. I made my way up the hill and my riot helmet failed to filter out the smell of decay and gore. I walked up to the base of the ramp and stopped. There at the base of the ramp was a small manhole marked with an X. There was a hole blown in the side that was closest to the ramp and a chunk of a large intestine was draped into the hole like some weird bait. Of course me, being the curious idiot, took a metal pole from the ground nearby and stuck into the hole and lifted up the lid without having to touch rotten intestines. I threw the pole aside without care and pointed my assault rifle down the hole cautiously. My helmet automatically turned on its low-light vision ability, which would’ve made life easier last night in the metro tunnels. Sadly the darkness was impenetrable and I moved in for a closer look. Right as I began to move my foot got caught in my trench coat leading to a much undignified dance and ultimately me falling into the hole.
Down "The Rabbit Hole"The hole I fell through somehow dumped me in the middle of a dense forest with incredibly dangerous trees. You might be wondering how a tree can look dangerous and I’ll tell you, it has a fucking creepy face carved into the bark. I neared back slightly and lifted my right arm which was clutching my assault rifle and pointed it at the tree. I then proceeded to fire every shot into that ugly face until it somehow popped out of existence. “Huh?” I said to myself, completely aware of the weird trip I just had. “There must be some chemical in the air?” I looked around in an attempt to find whatever was causing the weird hallucination. I saw a bit of blue hidden slightly behind a tree so I cautiously moved around the tree whilst maintaining a good distance. “That’s fucking weird?” I again said to myself upon finding the blue flowers clumped together. Blue flowers in the middle of a dark forest definitely spells weird trips so I turned and left. I already had a good number of jet and psycho to choose from anyway. I noticed a colorful bird frantically flying east. Well that’s my heading. I started to follow the flying frantic feather fucker until I realized something. “BRAINFART!” I shouted as I span around and came face to face with a large dog. This thing was massive. It was twice the size of Dogmeat and here is the big thing. IT’S MADE OF FUCKING WOOD! It didn’t look like a mutant which was also weird and there was green goo coming out of its mouth. Thank god that stuff isn’t radioactive because if it was I would’ve flipped shit, my fear of becoming a ghoul making me horde radaways and rad-x. The weird wooden wolf cautiously moved towards me, its steps the loudest thing in the forest. I raised my assault rifle and pulled the trigger, only to be met by a shallow click telling me it was empty. “FUCK!” I half whined half yelled. I emptied the fucking mag into that fucking tree! I must’ve gotten distracted by the prospect of hallucinogen. The wolf pounced at me and I did the only thing I could do in that situation. I chucked my rifle at it and disrupted the pounce giving me enough time to pull my pistol, a Glock .45 auto, from my pip-boy and aim it. The action of aiming, of course, was longer than expected and I was met with its jaws clamped right onto my left leg. Its teeth dug into my calf and I did the only thing I could do in that situation, besides calling it a bitch. I shot it right in the eye socket. It crumpled in on itself and fell apart on the ground looking like a pile of sticks in the middle of the woods that had someone get turned to goo right on top of it, since the things was filled with glowing green sap. I fell on my ass right next to it, my leg hurting a lot and if I were to move just right I could feel a tooth moving around under the skin. “TIMBER WOLVES! I FUCKING GET IT NOW! AHAHAHAHA!” ________________________________________________________________________ I sat in that spot for an hour patching my leg up and giving it the magical mystery cure. A stim-pack! Those things have saved my life more than any other chem and that’s why I have never been in short supply of them, perks of looting every military establishment I could find. After my skin grew together again I stood up, my fully loaded assault rifle in hand (because I triple checked that shit) and a lot more positive outlook since I could see the light shining through the trees to the east. I walked out into the light and looked around. To say the land was beautiful would be an understatement. There was a house nearby with a stream passing in front of it with a path leading to a bridge on the banks of the previously mentioned river. The path lead on past me and branched off a good hundred feet away. One path lead off into a large town in the distance and the other one lead into the- “Ohforfuckssake.” I said under my breath as I followed the path into the forest that I had just fought out of. There was a fucking path not even a hundred feet away and I took a bite from a- snrk- timber wolf, trying to escape. I began to walk up the path, my eyes resting on the large mountain nearby that had a huge fucking castle stuck to its side. “Well that’s fucking cool.” I said to myself as I studied it’s every groove as it fit against the mountain. ________________________________________________________________________ POV: Twilight Sparkle- Hay n’ Pay restraint- Interior of Ponyville “-And I said oatmeal? ARE YOU CRAZY!” said my friend PinkiePie as she finished her absurd story that is always told when she want to be silly. I nodded like I understood, just like each of my friends, and continued to focus on my hunger. “That pegasus better hurry if she knows what’s good for her.” Said my other friend Rarity in her usual dramatic style. “I’d like it if she hurried as well, but I don’t mind.” Voiced the quiet FlutterShy, her face partially obscured behind her silky pink hair. “Well I reckon she’ll be here right quick, what with all the work she did last night with all those clouds.” Came the casual reply of Applejack as she sat comfortably in her chair. “If she doesn’t get here soon we will order without her.” I stated. I haven’t eaten all day since I’ve been studying local plants. Everyone nodded in agreement, Fluttershy included because she isn’t brave enough to voice her thoughts. She has always, and I mean this in the best of ways, been a doormat. “I know you want to wait but we are really hungry.” I said, “Maybe this time Rainbow will realize that she should at least try to show up on-” Anything else I was going to say was stopped as a panting Rainbow darted up to the table, her sweat dripping off onto it. “Rainbow dear, please go shower, we’ll order you something but you mustn’t smell so gross at lunch, in public no less.” Asked Rarity, her rage concealed behind her urge to stay lady-like. “NO TIME! There is a weird robot on its way to Ponyville. It walks on two hooves and is covered with white plates and has purple eyes! We have to stop it from invading” she blurted out and took off again, leaving us confused but ready to help. ________________________________________________________________________ Vincent Mills- Unknown town- surrounded by weird mini horses- Panicking I’ve taken maybe twenty steps into this town and am already ready to leave. There are tons of small multicolored creatures in the streets, their eyes wide and legs trembling. I navigated further into town, my curiosity winning over my sense of self preservation. I also observed the creatures. They looked like a living version of Giddy-up Buttercup leading me to believe that they are horses, or at least a sub species of a horse. I neared an old cart when a scratchy female voice finally broke the silence. “Hey robot!” I turned around and came face to fa- snout with a cyan horse hovering on disproportionate wings. ‘Heh, it’d be funny if the horse was the one talking’ I thought to myself as it gave me an oddly intelligent glare. “Get out!” said the horse; or Pegasus because I’ve read enough old Greek mythology to know what a winged horse is. I stared my jaw slamming into the bottom of my face mask. ‘What the fuck it actually talks! This is fucking trippy! Maybe that blue flower actually fucked me up more than originally thought. Maybe I just stumbled into a random settlement completely shit-faced!’ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Rainbow “Daring” Dash- Ponyville interior- Near Robot spy ninja monster creature/ Auizhotols’ sidekick The monster stood there, its creepy face drifting and studying me as if I was the weirdest thing ever. ‘BUCK YOU!’ Nopony thinks of me as weird, especially not some robot that looks like an insect- “CHANGELING!” I screamed and promptly bucked it in the chest with enough force to send it into the cart that it was previously staring at. The old cart didn’t stand a chance against a kick from the mighty Rainbow Dash. I turned and struck a pose as the ponies around me clapped in approval of my mighty feat and awesome style. This lasted for only a minute before there were sounds of wood being moved as the thing buried in it stirred. “Aw fuck that horse packs a punch!” Something masculine whined from the pile of rubble. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Vincent Mills- In pile of wood- ready to gut a small horse/ trying to get small pieces of wood out of ass crack Right before that fucking horse kicked me into the cart it shouted something. Too bad I was too dumbstruck to hear it because it was probably important (maybe a plot advancement) and now I’m lying in a pile of wooden debris trying to get an annoying piece of wood out from the back of my pants without looking gross. ‘This just isn’t my day?’ “Aw fuck that horse packs a punch!” I whined, it was a manly whine by the way.
Why did you read this?I stood up and wiped the wood bits off of my chest plate. I could hear the little horses around me panicking like I was going to kill them all. ‘No, I only want that little rainbow fuck nugget.’ I smiled as I looked up at her. She wasn’t smiling though. ‘She looks pissed off.’ The little rainbow colored pony was glaring at me like I had killed her parents or eaten her spaghetti-o’s. ‘I’ll do both.’ I began to laugh at the mental image of me crushing two multi colored ponies under my boots while I ate a can of spaghetti-o’s that had a note on it labeled Fuck Nugget. The little Pegasus looked dumbstruck for a minute, or five, but she snapped out of it and was instantly more pissed off. I couldn’t help but laugh harder. These things look dumb when they get mad. ________________________________________________________________________ POV SWITCH- Rainbow “Daring” Dash- Ponyville interior- Near Robot spy ninja monster creature/ Ahuizotl sidekick- About to kick its flank The evil beast stood there and laughed at me. Its weird hoof things resting on its leg joints supporting its massive weight because it is so heavy. “How dare you laugh at the great Rainbow Dash? I’ll kick your flank in ten seconds flat!!!” With that I leapt at the creature, its massive body making an easy target. *Whoosh!!-* I flew right into the creatures’ chest, my front legs pointed ahead and my eyes closed. Right when I expected to collide with it I felt something grab the base of my wings, hard, and throw me to the ground. “Ok chicken mcfuck nuggets, lay down before I crush your wind pipe.” Said a cheerful male voice behind me. I would look but I am distracted by pai- the strange sensation in my wings. “RAINBOW!!!” ________________________________________________________________________ POV: Vincent Mills- Inside weird town- Getting ready to eat McDonald’s food. “RAINBOW!!” “I don’t swing that way but I do swing this way!!” I yelled as I swung the small horse at the approaching horse. This one was orange and wearing a small cowboy hat. The cyan one collided with the orange on so hard it knocked both into a small building nearby, the tiny hat floating to the ground in front of me. “Meh, it was an ugly hat anyway.” I said as I focused on five more little horses who were brave enough to get close. One of these horses was actually pretty big compared to everything else. It had a bulky, muscular build indicating that it is a male. He was very pissed and was moving faster than the rest of the horses. “Hey Blondie. What’s eating at you?” I asked as he charged. Unlike the Fuck nugget (that is going to stick like glue or a sweaty latex gimp suit….) this one didn’t have wings and put more muscle into the charge instead of speed. He also didn’t superman fly at my chest with his eyes closed which showed that natural selection would favor this guy. I don’t though so I shall do the unspeakable. As he got closer, I pulled a double barrel out of my pip boy and held it up. *BANG!* The sound of my weapon halted blondie and snapped fuck nugget and her orange friend out of their daze. I had the stage and the mic and all eyes were on me. “Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This…is my boomstick!” I shouted into the horde of horses. “It’s a 12 gauge double barreled dragon’s breath shotgun. Gun Runners top of the line. You can find this in the Hub or near New Vegas. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in the Mojave Desert. Retails about 700-1500 caps. It’s got walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and…” I stopped ranting and looked around. All the horses were confused. Good, I love the confusion. “You know what? You guys aren’t even worth my breath.” With that I turned and started to walk towards the giant tree in the center of town. The tree had a sign with a book on it and I decided to go info hunting because this obviously meant library. If I couldn’t find that then I’d just cause some mischief. It’s not like those ponies are going to do anything about my poor behavior. “Unknown creature! Please halt in the name of the princesses!” came a commanding shout from somewhere behind me. I turned towards it and saw a mob of white ponies with golden armor on, their swords and spears reflecting light everywhere making them look shiny. “Hey, I was wondering if there was a color supremacy group out here. I guess I was right.” I said to the group as they surrounded me. “Creature! You’re under arrest under the name of Princess Celestia for the assault of two Elements of Harmony. Please lay down and roll over, hooves in the air.” “Usually when a group of people surround a white person they have an opposite skin color and it leads into some gang rape punchline. After I kill you can I sell your armor or is it useless.” I around trying to find the most nervous of the group. Out of the group of ten, one who sat right behind me looked the most nervous. He had a spear and a helmet that looked a size too big. Probably a rookie. I opened my pip-boy and pulled out my assault rifle. All the guards braced, preparing for the loud noise. I took aim at the rookie and… *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK* I fired off three rounds. One in the throat, one in the fore head to knock him over, and one in the sack. The whole thing took around five seconds but that’s all it took to scare away almost every guard but the commander. He stood there yelling at his fleeing soldiers, fear and betrayal evident in his eyes. I stood in the middle of the street, the gunshots echo just quieting down and the commander’s eyes leveling on me. His eyes went to the bloody corpse, to me, back to the corpse, and then to me. “Hey!” I shouted. Breaking him out of his neck breaking exercise. “My eyes are up here.” __________________________________________________________________________ POV: Princess Celestia- On a carriage on route to pony Ville following the appearance of a strange creature *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK* The strange and loud noise snapped me out of my thoughts as my personal transport flew towards Pony Ville. The town was apparently being attacked by a weird creature who was described as being a rude robot ninja with a boomstick. It is also worth mentioning that this creature assaulted Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack. “Ma’am? Are you ok?” asked a polite male voice from across the carriage. “I am quite alright Captain Armor. I just have a lot to think about. Thank you for your concerns.” I returned, looking at Shining Armor as he fiddled with his seat belt. “So what are the guards in Pony Ville doing about the creature?” I asked “I told them to try to pacify the creature ma’am.” he returned. “I certainly hope they are capable.” “Ma’am, my guards are completely capable of pacifying some Everfree refuse.” He said, anger evident in his voice. “I don’t doubt your guards Captain Armor. I just don’t know the strength of the creature.” I assured him With that the carriage began to lower onto an empty street. ‘Well, almost empty’ In the center of street stood the creature, and at his sides were two guards. The first one was beaten into a pulp and the other one was…DEAD! _____________________________________________________ POV: Hunter: Sitting on his ass typing a word document about monsters and small horses She is pissed. “Yeah silly, he did hurt a guard, Dashie, and Applejack!” said an annoying pink pony. “I’m not annoying.” Yes you are. Check it out! I can talk in your language too!!! “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” What the Fuck! HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP MMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! ____________________________________________ POV: Vincent Mills: Inside unknown town- Beating a dead horse “I smell a fourth wall break.” I said, its confusing aroma in the air. Coffee, sweat, and…Halibut. “Do you smell that?” “What are you rambling about foul creature?” said the thoroughly beaten war horse at my feet. The small horse kept trying to stand up. Too bad for him I lack any basic moral fiber. “Down boy.” Said as I punted him like a football. Due to his weight he didn’t go far. “Ow, I keep forgetting that you’re wearing golden armor. My poor feet…” I noticed that he had landed on the dead rookie and said rookie also had a large spear lying next to him. “I’ll send you to Tartarus where you belong creature!” said the guard as he sprinted at me with an unknown strength. “Although I do love tar-tar sauce, I must decline. I have more pressing matters than food.” I returned, my arms raising into a weird praying mantis stance. The guard began to get close and as he got within ten feet I began my internal mantra. ‘Just like the holo-vids. Just like the holo-vids.’ When he got within five feet I picked my foot from the ground and brought my knee to my chest. “Praying mantis kick!!!” “HALT CREATURE! DON’T YOU DARE HARM ANOTHER ONE OF MY PONIES!!!”
