To whoever finds this,
You know, I used to love flying. The wind blowing through my mane, and the sheer freedom of the sky. In my mind, there was nothing else like it in the world. Unicorns would probably say different, but who really cares about them? My name is Sky Slicer, though that isn’t the name I was born with. I can’t remember my original name now, because it doesn’t matter after your name day. In Pegasi culture, your first name has no meaning, it is only until the elders unanimously agree on what you are good at that your name is changed to be more fitting. The thing I was best at happened to be flying so fast that the sky seemed to scream, hence the name Sky Slicer.
Now, you might be wondering why I’m writing this. It isn’t for fame or attention, as I am almost certain that this will be lost to time. I’m writing this to explain my actions during the war. I grew up in a fairly humble group home in the Pegasus Empire, we didn’t have much but we were happy. I received my second name shortly after my fourteenth birthday. I was excited, and didn’t think I would become anything of importance until the war started. I want you to know that I am not skipping my colthood because I want to get to the main reason why I’m telling this. It’s because my colthood wasn’t anything great, I grew up like any other pegasi at the time. The only thing I can say that was of import was of the day I was named. I just wanted to see how fast I could fly, and it just so happened one of the elders saw me. As I picked up speed and surpassed the other fillies flying around me, the air started to whistle through my wings, raising in pitch the faster I went, until it sounded like screaming. The elder saw and heard this and reported to the others, and I was called into the council chamber and given my name.
See? Nothing great at all. Now, up until my sixth naming day, my life was pretty boring. I helped the other pegasi farm for food, we weren’t as good as the earth ponies, but we couldn’t get their help so we did what we could. The leaders tried their best to try and get help from the earth ponies, but others had different things in mind. Shortly after that year’s peace talks, Commander Hurricane declared war on the earth and unicorn tribes. A lot of the older pegasi were happy about this, until the drafting began and their children were enlisted into the army. I tried all I could to avoid being enlisted; faking an injury, pretending to have breathing problems, Tartarus I even fractured my hind leg. None of that worked though. They needed my speed, at least that’s what they told me. I didn’t want to join, but it was either that or execution for refusing. I cried the night I was sent to the training camp. Sounds dumb I know, but when you are being forced to more than likely die for a cause you didn’t believe in you would probably cry too.
It was after sundown when I arrived and the paperwork I had to fill out when I got there was confusing. Things about next of kin and who I wanted to have all my stuff. I just filled these out as fast as possible because I didn’t really have anyone to leave my things to. My parent’s died a year or two after I was born, deciding to feed me instead of themselves. I’m grateful for this, but I miss them so much. Anyways, after the paperwork we were taken to our bunks, which is kind of misleading. It was three bed’s to a section and twenty sections total. A section was pretty much space enough for one bed, then they stacked two more on top of it. They had to do what they could to fit us all in I guess. We didn’t get much sleep that night though, we had to wake up as soon as the sun started to rise.. My bunkmates were pretty fun to be around though and I’m glad I got stuck with them. Their names were Wind Chaser and Jet Stream. You could probably guess as to what they were good at; Wind Chaser was very good at predicting wind patterns, and Jet Stream could find the best air streams to glide in. I miss them both so much.
Anyways, training was really tough. We had to do a lot of aerial coordination techniques, which some pegasi couldn’t seem to grasp even though it’s instinctual. We had this one colt who just didn’t have any coordination. He once took out his entire squad because he “misread” his leader’s command, which caused him to fly into his wing pony and it just spiraled out of control from there. Towards the end of the training though, we had to learn the best ways to defeat the oppositions. When it came to earth ponies it wasn’t very difficult. All you had to do was disable their legs, then fly them up as high as you could into the air. Once you got to a high enough altitude you just let them go. They would die as soon as they hit the ground. A lot of colts liked to say that that gives a new meaning to earth pony, but I never really liked that joke. When it came to unicorns you had be fast and quiet. They couldn’t hear you coming or they would use magic to protect themselves. We were taught that the best way to disable a unicorn for a long period of time, was to break off their horns. Since unicorns are the most hated of the two we were at war with, they were preferable to have as prisoners. Removing their horns made them useless, because they wept over the magic they could no longer touch. It made them easy to transfer and hold. Much easier than earth ponies since they weren’t as physically strong. They would fight back sometimes but it usually ended messily, with a couple broken legs or ribs. One time I watched a pegasi guard pull out a unicorn’s eye because he had spit on the guard shortly after being captured.
I guess you can kind of see where this is going. It was very rare for a pegasi to object to doing these things as everypony seemed to want to rule over the earth and unicorns. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t like them either but I was against killing. Even though I was a conscientious objector, they forced me to do things I didn’t want to. I was just a highly valued tool to them. If I stepped out of line they would beat me, starve me, and even tie my wings to my body then toss me off of a cloud. They never went so far as to prevent me from doing my duties but they got close a few times. They assigned me a buddy to always be with me during missions. This buddy was more like a watchdog and was meant to make sure I always did what I was told. If I didn’t, the least that would happen was that I would be strapped in public until my flanks bleed. I fought as much as I could but I had no choice but to give in. I’ve hurt so many during the war and I know I have no way of atoning for those sins. That’s why I hope my story will help towards that end, or to help others realize that war is pointless.
Now, when it comes to the most important part of this story, I should say that my kill count was at one hundred and ninety-seven: sixty-six unicorns, one hundred and thirty earth ponies and one pegasus. Just let that sink in. I killed ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY SEVEN PONIES! They always told me that the killing would get easier, but it never did. Every single one of their deaths is a huge weight on my shoulders. I never wanted to kill any of them! I had to! Even now, I wish I had just been captured at an earlier point so I could have been executed. I was just too good at what I did, which I guess is why they always had me watched to make sure I didn’t try to fake a death or anything. I was reprimanded for every unicorn death, but I was never punished for them. Their reason for this was that sometimes the opposition needs to be killed, no matter their importance in the other tribes.
I remember my first kills so well that they still haunt my dreams. They were earth ponies. We were sent into one of the outlying towns of the earth pony kingdom. I was sent forth as the “coming of death.” That’s what the other pegasi in my company call my making the sky scream. It only worked with earth ponies unless the unicorns weren’t aware of the sound. We were all ordered to fly down and kill all the earth ponies we could find, and I had no other choice but to obey. Once I reached the center of the village I dove down and snatched up the first pony I could see. He was plain looking but the thing I remember most about him was that he was trying to get a filly to a safe place. Oh Gods how I wished I could erase this memory. I grabbed him by dropping onto his back and holding onto his stomach so he couldn’t hit me. I don’t think he could have anyways, holding that filly like he was. I could feel him tense up and hold the young one tight as I darted up into the sky. Half way up I could hear him pleading to have me let him and his child go free. I would have, with all my heart I wish I could have helped them go free, but I was being followed by my buddy watching me closely. I reached the peak and hesitated, in practice it always seemed so simple. Until you have somepony’s life in your hooves you will never know how hard it is to just let go. It was the hardest thing I had ever done up to that point and oh Gods, their screams. It broke my heart to hear them and I started to weep. I tried to look away before they smashed into the ground, but I was frozen in place. Those screams and the look of pure terror on their faces will be forever burned into my mind.
That had to be one of the worst days of my life. I know it affected more ponies than me though, Wind Chaser had a tough time too. Perhaps more so than I did. A couple days after the attack, a soldier found him hanging in the showers. He didn’t leave a note, but I know it was because of what we did that day. I wish I could have done the same thing but with my buddy near me at all times, I was never alone so I couldn’t do anything that wasn’t pre-approved by the higher ups. At this point I started thinking of my ability to be more of a curse than anything. If I was as fast as I was, I would be the most valuable asset to my fellow soldiers. I could take out the most dangerous parts of an army or village with my speed. They never saw it coming. I even had to fly at different speeds to create different sounds when the plan called for different strategies. For instance, a lower pitch would be used on unicorns because it slightly disoriented them for a short period of time. I don’t know how it worked, I was just told that it interfered with their magic for a little bit. A higher pitch was used mostly on earth ponies because if it was loud enough they would cover their ears, which in turn removed two of their legs making things a whole lot easier to take them out.
I suppose you might be asking why I killed as many unicorns as I did when they were meant to be captured as prisoners. I never meant to kill any of them, but sometimes your aim is just slightly off and you clip a snout or chin. This would snap their head violently to side breaking their necks, killing them instantly. I didn’t want any of this to happen but sometimes things can’t be helped. Killing a unicorn never affected me as badly as killing an earth pony. I guess that’s because a unicorn has the chance to defend itself with magic, whereas an earth pony just has their strength. That doesn’t always help them though because we had our bolas. If you don’t know what a bola is, it’s a sort of weapon that is a couple of rocks attached to a rope. If you throw it right it will wrap around your target’s legs tying them together, preventing movement. That helps a lot when you are fighting an earth pony. If they can’t use their legs they are helpless, making it easier to carry them into the sky.
It didn’t take long for me to be a highly decorated soldier. I had more kills than anyone in my company, more captures, more raids. No matter how you put it, I was too good at what they needed me to do. Tartarus, I even captured a few high ranked unicorns and earth ponies by myself. I guess my buddy was there too but he wasn’t acknowledged as he was only meant to watch and help only if my life was in danger. That rarely happened though and I don’t think he minded. He hardly ever talked to me. A few words here and there and it was mostly about me doing my job. The worst thing he ever did to me though was to scoff over Jet Stream’s death. He did it like it was a normal thing and I was just overreacting. How I wish I could have killed him then.
Jet Stream was killed during a raid of a central unicorn city. We were sent in to gather all their resources and, obviously, kill any who stood in our way. My job was different though, there was a high ranked unicorn officer stationed in the city. One who stood just below Princess Platinum, so obviously she was highly sought after as a prisoner. We could “persuade” her into giving us more information about their plans than any of the other unicorns we had captured. As I did my part of the mission, Jet Stream must have gotten into a situation he couldn’t handle. He was always cocky in that way and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he tried to take on more than one unicorn at a time. The pegasi that witnessed what happened told me he attacked a group and before he could strike any of them down they surround him in a magic barrier. This wouldn’t be bad, as unicorns usually take prisoners, but I guess Jet Stream had just captured a few fillies. This must have irked them because they suddenly reduced the barrier to about the size of a grape, killing him instantly. They say that killing gets easier with time and I can tell you that it isn’t, but sometimes you aren’t aware of what you are doing. Shortly after capturing my target I was told what happened and that the unicorns responsible hadn’t been caught. This is one of the only times that I ever killed somepony because I wanted to.
I tracked them down to a derelict part of the city, huddling against a building trying to hide in it’s shadows. That wasn’t enough for me though. I swung down reducing my speed to create the pitch that disoriented them. Before landing I crushed the back of one of their heads in. After that things get a little hazy. The last thing I remember is shoving one of their horns into the eye socket of one of last ones standing. When the screaming around the city had died down I was surrounded by a group of scared looking pegas. When I turned to look at them, they backed away, some even took off to the sky. My buddy was there too, just smirking at me as I looked around me and saw what I had done. My hooves were covered in blood, and bodies were strewn around me in such a scene that I don’t want to describe it. At this point I’m not even ashamed to say that I started to cry after I realized what I did. The others that were watching didn’t laugh or smile, except for my buddy, they just looked at the ground or took wing.
I never thought I could be so cold as to take other ponies live’s without even remembering what happened. I still don’t think I am that cold, I just got lost in the rage I felt when my last friend was killed. That raid ended good I guess, we didn’t lose very many pegasi and we captured a high profile target. I suppose that would justify my actions in any other pegasus’s mind, but it’s something that I still haven’t gotten over. I hate that all this story is turning out to be is my regrets, but I am trying to get a point across. I said it earlier in this letter, war is pointless. Every party involved thinks they are going to get something for killing countless others, but what do the soldiers get? A measly pay and a lifetime of regret for the lives they took. I’m not even talking about me, I’ve seen ponies take their own lives because of the things they have done for the sake of their kingdoms.
One of the last things I want to talk about is what happened before The Exploration. The Exploration is what we call when the leaders sought out a new land because the cold started to close in, slowly killing off our people and the little crops we had. Anyways, I was sent to try and capture Clover the Clever the high advisor to Princess Platinum. This whole mission was a complete mess, most of my team came down with Strangles and I had very little back up. Even so, my mission went pretty smoothly even with the mess at the end and what I saw in the beginning. As we approached the castle it seemed like the clouds started to swirl around us and I swear I saw huge figures moving through them. It scared me but I didn’t want to say anything in case my buddy decided I was trying to make an excuse to abort the mission. I made it into the castle fairly easily and with my small team to distract the guards I even made it to the throne room. My buddy stuck with me the whole time hiding in the shadows and making not a sound so it would seem like I was alone. As I entered the throne room I could see Princess Platinum distracted by a petitioner and Clover sitting in the corner looking pretty dejected.
I snuck along the ceiling beams and landed softly behind Clover as quietly as I could. I don’t think she heard me as I got right up behind her, but before I could deal the horn breaking blow the petitioner’s eyes widened and they screamed. Things happened very quickly after this. My hoof swung down and was caught before striking anything. One of the guards in the room and caught me in their magic. They lifted me up and pulled me me in front of the princess, all of my limbs stretched so taut I thought they were going to be ripped off. The princess just sniffed, and ordered that I be taken to the dungeons. Like I said, unicorn’s liked to have prisoners because they thought they were above getting their hooves dirty with blood. As I was being towed away, I could see a tear running down Clover’s face, like the one that should have been flowing down mine then. I could swear that the tear was for me. I think, like me, Clover didn’t like the idea of war and ponies killing each other for things that could have been easily solved. I never got the chance to talk to her though, that was the first and last time I ever saw her.
I wish I could say that this is where I ended my life, sadly it isn’t. About a week later, my buddy was at my window with a few other pegasi and they attached a bunch of ropes to my cell window bars. They ripped the bars off and I was hurried off into the night before the alarms could be sounded. This was the last time I would enjoy the experience of flying. I took in the scents, the sound of the wind howling in my ears, and my mane flowing as if it was in water. I’m not saying I didn’t fly again, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be where you find me and this letter, I just couldn’t feel the same way about it again. Not while by haunted by the memory of Clover’s tear and the huge figures in the clouds.
I’m sorry to say but this is where my letter will end. I was broken out of prison about a week ago. I had called my buddy into my room making him believe I wanted to discuss the next mission. I surprised him. I don’t think he even knew he was dying at first. He just gaped at me holding his throat in my mouth. He was my last kill and the only pegasus I ever harmed. So this is the only chance I have to do this. I managed to escape the camp and travelled to a cliff so far away I don’t think anypony can find me. So, under this cliff with a rock poised above me and snow beneath, you might ask why I’m writing this letter when I don’t know if anypony will read this. The answer is simple. I don’t know if anypony will find me or this letter, but on the off chance that they do, I want my brief story to be told and my message passed on. If war is ever thought of and you aren’t sure what to do. Listen for the sound of the sky screaming, and remember that it will never be worth it. Please.
Sincerely,
Sky Slicer
