Lost in Unified Madness

by Thunderman1984

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Science Fiction, Self Insert, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Anthro, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 3480

A friend and I go on a camping trip and find ourselves lost in time and space. Chaos ensues.

A friend and I go on a camping trip and find ourselves lost in time and space. Chaos ensues.
Written by me and a friend who wanted to do a similar thing to Whatmustido's Diaries of a mad man.
Sorry about long update times, we are both new to this and want to get it right.

Published 2017-12-02 04:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-02 04:10:05 UTC

Chapter 1: The Struggles...

{Nat POV}

I pull the airbag out of my face and see a normal looking tree in front of me. 'Dafaq?' I thought 'My vehicle weighs near 20 tons. How in the 9 hells was it stopped?' I turn to Eric, one of my best friends in this world. "How the hell did this happen? My car, that I built no less, weighs 20 tons! HOW!?!"

Eric POV

"Magic? Donno but we have bigger issues, as in the road is MISSING!And a meteor that crashed behind us." The two of us stepped out of the car to check for the meteor only to find nothing but trees, not even tire tracks

{Nat POV}

I give Eric a deadpan stare "There are three things wrong with this picture, 1 the meteor is not there, 2 any meteor big enough to get through the atmosphere without burning up in it would have killed us on impact, not even my car without the inhibitor in it would get away, 3 WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST!!!!!! You check our inventory. Ill check for damages to the car and internal components." I then check the engine, which looks okay, and then check the containment field for the fusion reactor, it seems to be cracked which means the van is unusable until I can fix it.

Eric POV

Heading over to the back of the car I began wondering if anything was damaged in the ca- "BING, BING, BING BONG~ hearing my old hour clock start its chime I smiled slightly, especially because I heard Nat hit her head on the hood of the car while trying to sing along with the chime, like she always does. Opening the trunk, I first checked to see if any tools had moved, both the axe, saw and shovel were where strapped to a bag with animal traps and some plant seeds inside it. With the dangerous gear where we left them I glancing at everything else to see they were fine, I moved to close the trunk when I heard Nat call for me to grab the axe.

{Nat POV}

I take the axe from Eric and take my frustrations out on the tree that damaged my car. I hear from behind me "How much durability did the axe lose?"

I turn to him and see that he finished setting up the tents and firepit while I was taking out my frustrations. "How long was I at it?"

Eric POV

"About ten minutes, I decided to setup camp, 'cause you know, I've been awake for far too long and it’s around 3:00 AM."

She looked up at the sky for a moment before saying "Yeah we should go to sleep, you unload the sleeping bags and the heated blankets?"

I turn toward the tents looking at them while heavily in thought, "Damn, knew I forgot something. You grab yours and I'll grab mine." As we went to the back of the car I started to smile slightly

Opening the trunk, she started to look around only to realize the sleeping bags were missing "Wait what? Where are they did we forget to bring them?" She turned around to see me smiling "What?"

"Of course I unloaded the sleeping bags and blankets I'm tired not dull, let's go to sleep." She closed the trunk while rolling her eyes having dealt with my shenanigans for years.

Walking over to our tents I couldn’t help but start to think about our situation, we were nowhere near a road despite having been driving on one just before we crashed, our car was disabled with no hope fixing it and lastly it was a lot colder than I was used to, so much so that I was slightly worried that we had somehow ended up on the 11-mile road from a creepy pasta I had read once.

There wasn’t much room in our tents, just enough for one person lying down and to swap clothes without being seen, after getting dressed for bed I pulled my iPad mini out of my black and red jackets largest pocket and knowing I've managed to get only two hours of sleep and still make it through a day every once in a while, I set an alarm for 7:30 AM before putting it right next to my head and calling out to Nat with a "Good morning", she responded in kind and we both went to sleep.

After waking up and staring at my iPad and letting the song I had selected play I thought about the dream I had, I didn't remember much about it other than it had a white abomination that only moves when not being looking at and that I've had a dream with it before. Shifting my focus, I noticed It was raining, sighing to myself and starting to get dressed I thought about how we were going to get anything done with it raining. Fully dressed and iPad back in its pocket I stared at the tent entrance thinking about how I would get to the car, glancing at my bag I decided to check If I put one of our compact umbrellas in it, while small even when un-compacted It would still work fine for getting to the car to grab the bigger one.

Un-zipping my bag I was surprised to see that I did have one but it wasn't one I recognized or remembered owning, it was black with a purple frame and seemed baggier than the ones we owned, after wondering how it got into my bag I decided that someone in my family got it for me and put it into my bag when I wasn’t looking, unzipping my tent and poking the umbrella out first before pressing the button to extend it, feeling the jolt from it fully opening I pointed it up and stepped out.

It was as I expected, cold and rainy, I would of lit the fire but it's hard to do that when you can't do that, remembering that we had a compact roof thing I opened the trunk and pulled it out, then after deciding a place to put it I began to set it up, after un-compacting most of it I realized someone needed to pull it from the opposite edge from where I was glancing at Nat's tent before looking at the opposite edges leg I then looked at the car and remembered I had brought my dog walking staff. It was mostly metal with a simple rounded wooden top with a wrist strap below it just above the grip its length could also be adjusted and at the foot was a rubber cap with a paw print, it could be un-screwed to reveal a metal spike which was the main reason I brought it, for self-defense against big animals.

I after grabbing my staff I went back to where I was with the roof thing and extended my staff to it max length before pressing it against the opposite edges leg, with some force I managed to get the leg in place and quickly finished setting it up, going back over to the car and grabbing the two compact chairs and easily un folding them before sitting down only to immediately stand back up and grab the final compact thing a metal table which was also an easy setup, almost sitting down again only to turn around and pull the cooler out of the car and put it under the table before grabbing a Dr-Pepper and a nutrients bar from it and sitting down with my staff leaning against me while I wait for Nat to wake up.

{Nat POV}

As I woke up I noticed I was in my panties, and was in a tent, in the woods, with my best friend, I quickly got dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, which were black jeans, black combat boots, and a black t-shirt saying 'Go fuck yourself'. I don't remember where I had the shirt made but I had it made for me as it is one of a few lines I say while angered online. I don't know how but I became a somewhat famous youtuber for not only being a heavy gamer and a girl, but also for my brains and some of my many inventions. Some of these inventions were so far advanced that even big companies like Apple, Microsoft and Google had to metaphorically pick their collective jaws up off the floor before they actually started arguing for who would get my mind and inventions. Instead of accepting I said my famous line and walked out of the meeting, deciding to create my own business instead.

I was doing a quick version of my morning routine, which included brushing my hair, maybe a little lipstick, deodorant, and morning medicine. I tried putting my glasses on but the world around me seemed blurry when I had them on. I shrugged it off to figure out later.

I walk out of my tent and noticed that Eric had woke up before me and had set up a little area for shelter from the rain at the trunk of the car. I go there, grab a Dew and wait for Eric to get back, he's probably either scouting or taking a piss. I mumbled "Probably scouting."

Eric POV

After a while of waiting for Nat to wake up I had finished my drink and decided to check the area and to find good spots for animal traps, though one thing I had started to wonder is where the mosquitoes were, it was morning, the rain had stopped and we were in a forest. ignoring the lack of mosquitoes for now I walked around for about an hour Spotting some good spots I saw a river just ahead of me, I waltzed right up to it then looked up and downstream.

The river was wide, but shallow and the water was surprisingly clear. It reminded me of a water spring I saw once. Since it seemed like the best bet for water if we ran out of supplies before we could find a road or get a signal on our phones, I had the Preston in my head mark it on my mental map before heading back to camp.

I was staring blankly as I walked back, lost in thought about the fact Nat and I may be stuck in this forest till we die, deciding to distract myself I pulled out my wireless headset and turned it on before pressing the play button. The first song the mini in my large jacket pocket decided to play was Compass by lady Antebellum. I gave a loud "Hah!" Before syncing my steps with the beat and singing along while twirling my staff in my right hand.

{Nat POV}

I had been sitting there for a couple minutes, just drinking my mountain dew, and checking over the engine, when I hear something in the background, I believe it's Eric singing, "Is that Compass by lady Antebellum?" I think to myself. I sit down, and look towards the sound, with a smirk on my face. When he saw me looking at him he froze, just like an anime I'll have it known. He looked straight back at me smiled and continued singing, only louder. I may have frowned, but I will not admit it, and it was a frown of confusion.

"How'd it go?" I asked when he finished singing.

"I found a few good spots for our traps and what seems like a PERFECT SPOT FOR A MIRELURK DEN. Oh and a strangely clear river."

I frown at him, "You did? That’s great about the traps, but what about the river? How clear is it? How far, theoretically, do you think you could see?"

He responded, "The river wasn’t that deep so it's hard to say, though it might be a part of a water spring."

I tell him, "Ok that is fine, let's try and set up traps at those locations you mentioned, then take a look at the river."

"We can do that in a little bit, I just finished scouting so let me take a break."

I went back to looking the Van over while he took his break, the fusion core casing and shielding, like I thought, was cracked, the electronics all seem to be fine so that is good, I don't have the tools to make the tools to fix the core right now, but luckily I just remembered a function I had put into the car incase this did happen, a powerful solar panel and batteries, so even if it can't move I can still use all its electronic functions. I check over inventory as well while he is taking a break, it seems nothing is missing or broken, luckily, we still have a few extra tents, hunting gear, 9001 feet of rope because "IT'S OVER 9000!!"

Eric turned to me, and said "Really? That’s my jerb!"

I "innocently" smile at Eric, "Did I say that out loud?"

Eric always with a quip, "No, you said that inside out."

"What?" I ask in confusionn

"Yes."

"Ok," I'm just done.

The two of us spent at least an hour and thirty minutes setting up traps and making them less obvious with Eric exclaiming "It’s a TRAP" and pointing at any traps we had finished setting up. After taking a break at camp we headed out again with the purpose of finding any sign of civilization. He also gave me a weird camping tool that was a mix of a whistle, compass, magnifying glass and thermometer.

Deciding the river Eric found would be a good place to start, I started downstream marking a few places with symbols me and Eric had designated, Namely the Kryptonian El family symbol. I had also brought a gun and camping equipment, just in case. I also always kept an eye on the water, it felt unnatural for some reason, maybe it was because it was too clear? I don't know. It definitely was crystal clear though, it was wide and not very deep, but you could see the bottom, most rivers on Earth even unnatural ones were not this clear. I notice there are also no fish in the river. Remembering the number one rule to any party-based game: you should never split the party, I decide to make my way back to Eric.

Eric POV

After we had split up I finally turned off my wireless headset so I could hear Nat if she used the whistle, as I walked I couldn’t help but keep looking at the river, it was getting deeper the further I got upstream and I could still see the bottom but no fish, at all. That meant to me that there may be civilization up ahead with a big fishing net going across the river, that was just a guess though and a feeling of unease started to affect me. I stopped completely, there were no sounds, crickets, birds chirping or anything, at all. I quickly looked around to find nothing out of the ordinary, I unscrewed the cap of my staff's spike and went on alert, back facing the river and watching the forest while occasionally glancing behind me.

Knowing that I should wait for Nat before pushing forward I Pulled out my camping whistle and blew it before mumbling about the walkie talkies in the trunk of the van. Eventually Nat made her way to me "It doesn't feel safe, but there's nothing around, and it has been getting stronger the farther we go upstream. Scout, where are you when we need you? Seriously though should we scout ahead?"

"No, we shouldn't" I said before continuing to walk upstream anyway. I was pretty sure she shook her head before catching up with me before we cautiously continued on our way upstream.

As we walked upstream that feeling of unease kept growing and growing I was about to suggest that we turn back but then the feeling of unease just stopped, both Nat and I stopped as well and looked around "Wait what?" "What the fuck?!"

We both look at each other before we continue walking Though I felt the need to ask Nat "What do you think that was about? My guess is a plant that uses a pollen or something to keep things away."

She responded with. "My guess, probably some sort of tech that creates a field making anything not already in the area run, or are intelligent, or knowledgeable enough to not run."

"And why would that be in or around a popular camping site?"

"My guess, that meteor got the government's attention and they are trying to keep anything and everything away from it. But all of what I am saying is educated guesses, there were no flowers and even if it was that it wouldn't be gradually getting stronger, only to stop suddenly."

"Way to go on a tangent, but that’s as good a guess as any. Let's pick up the pace 'cause I think I hear talking up ahead."

Just ahead of us on the left was a clearing in the woods though the stumps of the trees that used to be there were still in the ground. "lumberjacks? In a camping ground? If so they're here illegally." I couldn’t help but note. If we had to, we could strike a deal for them to help us out of here and we wouldn't sell them out. I turn to Nat and say "What do you think? Sneaky beeky or walking in saying IM SUPPOST TO BE HERE"

{Nat POV}

I turn to Eric and say "I don't know why, but I have the feeling that we need to stealth this. But we need to be careful." We then sneak up towards the towns edge, but notice something very off, "They are not human." We say at the same time. I turn to Eric and ask, "WHAT THE FUCK?????"

Author's Note

Yes, all the references and insideish joke for days. Because, FUCKING JOKES. XD But seriously though hope you like it, I am also up for honest criticism to help me and my co-author write better down the line a little bit. Sorry about the pacing, my Co-author wanted 15,000 word count on chapter one. I was able to talk him down to 3k but not till the end. Stick around for chapter 2 coming soonish, because school and work.

Prologue: The Crash

Author's Note

Me and my Friend are Co-writing this book, using both of our personally designed OC's as our characters. I make all decisions for my character and he makes them for his but we both make overall final decisions.

Prologue: The Crash

Driving on a highway at midnight was a van prepped for camping, one of its two occupants asleep in the passenger seat while the driver was listening to a podcast at low volume. The name of the driver being Eric, a relatively sensible man with horrible social skills when talking to someone he doesn't know and a preference for making references and jokes relevant to the situation. The one sleeping in the passenger seat goes by the name Nat, a cute outgoing woman who has a penchant for going on tangents and is a fantastic engineer (PUNS!), most of the camping equipment being made by her in fact.

Thanks to Eric's habit of staying up most of the night they decided it would be for the best if he drove for as long as possible before going to the rest stop just before the camp ground to sleep, expecting a long drive he started listening to a two-hour podcast, only to be surprised by seeing the turn coming up for the camp grounds on the GPS before the first ten minutes were over.

Unsure what to think he decided to check the camp grounds entrance before trying to find a resting area he followed the GPS down the dirt road till the GPS suddenly said "You have arrived at your destination." Thinking that someone accidently screwed up the GPS destination, he decided that he should head to a rest stop to sleep till morning.
After doing a U-turn and following the road back he spotted a particularly bright star, after deciding it wasn’t a star he floored it instead of reversing so as not to follow the Prometheus school of running away from things, it payed off in the fact it didn't hit the car but it did create a shock wave that caused him to crash into a tree and wake up Nat before everything went white.

At least, until he got the airbags out of his face.